It's Easter Weekend

 

Hand Beaded Trans Beret from
LizT Designs on Etsy

This weekend features the special observance days of several major religions around the world. As I was raised in a semi-serious religious home, we didn't do much for the Easter Christian religious observance. Of course I remember quite vividly how much I disliked  dressing up in the male restricting clothes such as a tie which I hated so much. I would have rather worn one of the pretty bright colored dresses all the girls my age were able to wear. At the time, the earth seemed to be tilted unfairly in the girls direction. 

Today, in a sense, I get just a bit of revenge on my past. My wife and I are attending a Jewish observance that we were invited to at my daughter's mother in law's house. Appetizers will be served before the formal observance which was well attended last year by mostly friends of my two out of three grandkids. Unfortunately, my grandchild who is transgender probably won't be there today because they live with their partner in Virginia which is quite the trip from Ohio. 

For the day, I have decided to brighten my wardrobe up for the Spring weather we are finally now beginning to see. I am wearing a sleeveless very light sweater top Liz handmade for me paired with my patterned bright colored leggings. I even went all out and put in my long unused earrings which again Liz made for me. Plus to spotlight my transgender status in this time of uncertainty, I am wearing the trans hand beaded hair beret which again was made by Liz. If you are catching a theme right now, you are right. Liz is very talented. 

So, in my own way to get even with the mean old days when I wasn't allowed to wear anything bright colored to Easter observations. I am going light and bright.  The only drawback is if I am going to be warm enough. I have decided to throw caution to the wind and wear my bright sleeveless outfit to the Jewish observation of "Seder". While I am not Jewish, my daughter is and it will be good to see her. 

Whatever what religion you may happen to have an Easter observance with this weekend, I hope you have a good one. 

Transgender Diversity

Before I delve farther into what I mean by the title. let me say Happy Easter to all of you who may celebrate it in their own personal way. 

Photo Courtesy Alex Shute 
on Unsplash

Yesterday, my partner Liz and I journeyed slightly North to the metro Dayton area to my daughter's mother in laws to take part in a Jewish Passover Seder. It was mostly all new to me as we prayed, feasted and remembered the exceedingly tragic history of the Jewish people. It was mostly all new to me because I am not Jewish and my daughter converted following her marriage. 

This was far from my first visit to her house and usually along the way somewhere I always get mis-gendered or worse yet get called by my dead name. Regardless, I value the time I spend with the only people who knew the old me. It's always a challenge to re-imprint them to my new life as a transgender  woman.  This time, I was not mis-gendered at all and only called my dead name once and it was only by my first wife's husband who suffered a stroke. So forgiveness was in order.

Yesterday it didn't matter because diversity ended up ruling the dinner. I have a granddaughter who years ago (when she was arguing with my daughter) told her what if she ended up loving another woman. Of course my daughter defused the entire situation by pointing out my status as a transgender woman and she didn't care who she loved as long as she was happy. In addition, my oldest grandson's fourth grade teachers was an out/ gay cis man who also was well known in the community as one of the top drag queens in the city. To make a long story short, the family was immersed in diversity. Even to the point of my first wife, who was also there at the Passover Seder.  It turns out her second husband's brother has a transgender man in the family. 

For a change I wasn't the only diverse LGBTQ person in the room. My highly androgynous granddaughter brought an equally androgynous friend with her. In addition, my granddaughter carried out a majority of the service by herself.  I was so proud! Finally someone else to carry on the LGBT banner in the extended family. 

Being in a safe space and being able to celebrate one's diversity can never be taken for granted and never unstated. My extended family's acceptance more than makes up for the lack of acceptance in my own family. I often have written about the reluctance to support my transition by my only remaining brother. Essentially he chose to not support me because of a potential rebuff by his Southern Baptist redneck in laws.  All of this occurred way before the rebirth of hate the transgender community is experiencing now, so I am positive my reception would be even worse. It doesn't matter, I don't need them anyhow

The best part is the knowledge of what I have gained versus what I have lost. It all contributes to one of the main reasons I cherish my transgender and/or any LGBT safe spaces I find. With my daughter's in laws I have even been invited to speak a couple times at their temple during my grandkids "Bar Mitzvah" The ultimate in acceptance. 

I only wish more transgender or LGBT woman and men could experience a similar feeling.