Transgender Inclusion

 

My Fave Girls. Liz on left, daughter on right
from the Jessie Hart Archives 

I actually survived my second "Seder" Jewish ritual service and dinner in fairly good shape. The one my wife Liz and I were invited to last year proved to be very uncomfortable due to my back's reactions to very uncomfortable chairs. This year I was greeted by my son in law to my own comfortable chair which ended up fitting perfectly with the table we ate at. I was so relieved. 

I also was happy my trans grandchild was the "moderator" and led the lengthy service which was partly in Jewish. Since lately I seem to struggle with English, speaking nay Jewish was certainly out of my reach. 

It turned out,  my grandchild who is re-enrolling in The Ohio State University this Spring seems to be coming out of their shell quite a bit and was there with their partner, whose name I promptly screwed up when we arrived. So much for making a good second impression. Which has been normally the story of my life. Open mouth, insert foot. 

Being included so totally in their rituals of the Jewish Faith has always been amazing to me. In fact, years ago at my oldest grandson's Bar Mitzfah  I was asked to get up in front of many people in his temple and have a part in the service. I was still early into my Mtf gender transition and was petrified but was able to come through it all unscathed.  I am not a real expert but the Jewish Temple my daughter and family belong to are Reform Jews and not the stricter Orthodox Jews which is possibly why I was welcomed and included with open arms.

For the day, as I wrote about briefly yesterday, since I was never allowed to even think about wearing a pretty, bight colored dress like the girls and women were allowed to wear,  I resorted to wearing my own bright colored clothes. What I attempted to do was wear as much as I could of the clothes and accessories my wife Liz has made for me over the years. She knitted me a pink and blue sleeveless sweater vest which I wore over a white camisole top and my bright patterned leggings. Then I added the earrings and hand beaded trans hair beret she made me. As I said yesterday, she is very talented and has her own shops on the Etsy craft platform under "Liz T Deigns" if you would like to visit it. 

Outside of being able to wear what I wanted to relieve myself of past anxieties, the best time I had was when my transgender grandchild made a special effort to sit down with Liz and I and discuss their advanced Physic's course she was taking soon at OSU when classes resume. They (chosen pronouns) most certainly didn't  get any of my genetics from me in the math or science area's of academia. I can barely add or subtract on a good day. I wish I could say I understood all they were talking about but I didn't. I was better suited in understanding the history behind the "Seder" ritual and how in it's own way intersects with all the problems going on today in the Middle East. 

 As I thought of all of sadness in the world and discrimination against the transgender population, my fondest hope is I can leave some sort of a legacy on how you can lead a successful life as a trans person. Being included in such an inviting ritual such as a "Seder" was a start.

It's Easter Weekend

 

Hand Beaded Trans Beret from
LizT Designs on Etsy

This weekend features the special observance days of several major religions around the world. As I was raised in a semi-serious religious home, we didn't do much for the Easter Christian religious observance. Of course I remember quite vividly how much I disliked  dressing up in the male restricting clothes such as a tie which I hated so much. I would have rather worn one of the pretty bright colored dresses all the girls my age were able to wear. At the time, the earth seemed to be tilted unfairly in the girls direction. 

Today, in a sense, I get just a bit of revenge on my past. My wife and I are attending a Jewish observance that we were invited to at my daughter's mother in law's house. Appetizers will be served before the formal observance which was well attended last year by mostly friends of my two out of three grandkids. Unfortunately, my grandchild who is transgender probably won't be there today because they live with their partner in Virginia which is quite the trip from Ohio. 

For the day, I have decided to brighten my wardrobe up for the Spring weather we are finally now beginning to see. I am wearing a sleeveless very light sweater top Liz handmade for me paired with my patterned bright colored leggings. I even went all out and put in my long unused earrings which again Liz made for me. Plus to spotlight my transgender status in this time of uncertainty, I am wearing the trans hand beaded hair beret which again was made by Liz. If you are catching a theme right now, you are right. Liz is very talented. 

So, in my own way to get even with the mean old days when I wasn't allowed to wear anything bright colored to Easter observations. I am going light and bright.  The only drawback is if I am going to be warm enough. I have decided to throw caution to the wind and wear my bright sleeveless outfit to the Jewish observation of "Seder". While I am not Jewish, my daughter is and it will be good to see her. 

Whatever what religion you may happen to have an Easter observance with this weekend, I hope you have a good one. 

It's Monday

This Monday brings about another cross dresser - transgender support group meeting. Tonight's meeting should be more interesting, as well as better attended, due to the fact a clothing swap has been organized.

If you are not aware, a clothing swap event is when most all bring articles of clothing they don't wear anymore (or were fashion mistakes) and swap them out free for other articles. I have never been to one, so I am going to be interested in seeing what turns up. Plus, if I happen to find a stray piece, I will grab it. I know for sure one member is swapping out her purple fringed leather purse, which I am going to try to pick up for my partner Liz, as she is addicted to purple. Plus, speaking of Liz, I am hoping to run into the transgender person who asked Liz to fix her two necklaces, for further guidance.

In addition, the group is bringing in a hair/makeup adviser expert. I have been joking with them about how could I ever improve upon perfection :) but not so deep down, know I am in a hair/makeup rut. So, depending upon how busy she seems to be, I may talk to her about getting my hair shaped out among other ideas. Years ago, when I summoned the courage to sit with a makeup adviser, it was a great success.

Finally, tonight's meeting is a "come" or "go" as you please event. So if I get bored, I can take off.

Almost Heaven

I am sooo fortunate to have been able to grow out my own hair. No sensation is as heavenly for me than to wear a pony tail in the summer and feel my hair brush against my bare back. I guess sensual would be the best descriptor.

Of course I know, most transgender woman can't have their own long hair, for any number of reasons.
Now, let's check in with Connie, on hers:

FABULOUSCONNIEDEEFebruary 10, 2018 at 3:59 PM

"I have always envied girls and women who could wear their hair in a high pony tail. In my more athletic days, I could only imagine the feeling of a pony tail bouncing and swaying as I ran. Of course, the undoing of the band afterward, allowing the hair to fall with a shake of the head was just plain alluring. My reality is that I am limited athletically these days, and I have no hair anyway. All I can do is to have a few wigs with different styles, but a high pony tail just doesn't happen to be one of them. The feeling could never be the same, and the look would be so obviously "wiggy."

Old Pix of my hair pulled back.
It is longer now. Beading by LizTDesigns

I know when I wear my hair tied back, I do so love the guilty pleasure of "fooling" with my pony tail. I usually hope no one else has noticed!  Plus there is a certain commercial on television now with a red headed woman wearing a high pony tail, I am so in love with.  I hope someday I will get as good as when she effortlessly pulls hers' back!

She is also driving a classic International Scout, all of which were made in my hometown. But Connie said it best!

Thanks (as always) for your perspective.

Cyrsti's Condo "Sunday Edition"

Ker Plunk! Another virtual issue of our Sunday edition is hitting your front porch! It's a damp cool Sunday morning here in Cincinnati, Ohio-but for the first time in days I can see a bit of sun! So the "joe" (coffee) is going to be warm this morning-not iced. Let's get started.

Page One-The Week That Was-or Wasn't: This is as easy as the seismic week when Caitlin Jenner came out. Friday, SCOTUS (Supreme Court of US) approved same sex marriages.
If you listen closely, the rumbling noises you hear in the distance are all the bible thumping ministers pounding away this morning. Of course what you also may hear is all the grumblings from the transgender community. I too understand this decision benefits the gay and lesbians far more than us and many fear they will kick us to the curb again. How I see it is, same sex marriage was simply the right thing to do. To complain about any pro or con effects to the trans community is simply sour grapes. Ultimately our fate lies in our hands.

NOT singing in the rain!

Page Two-Party in the Rain!: Timing is everything after all and Friday night was the kick off of two weekend party days at Cincinnati LGBT Pride.  I thought about labeling the picture of me with a phrase I am using a lot recently: "Rode hard and put away wet!" This was taken waiting for the pub crawl shuttle bus at the end of the evening. Lesson learned to take a "before" picture too! As always, Liz (Liz T Designs) and I always seem to have an innate luck to be at the right time in the right place to to enjoy ourselves. 
The pub crawl actually had three different "legs" of approximately 20 bars. We were able to comfortably get into the ones we wanted (visit some new ones) and get out while the getting was good. Also, at my old age, I do like to talk while I am in an establishment while the entertainment is going on. Did that too!
It was fun!



Page Three- Flying the Flag: One of the nicer parts of the evening was when a young woman came up and said how much she liked my barrette. It was in an earlier part of the evening before the rain had wrecked any semblance of how I wanted my hair to look. You Cyrsti's Condo regulars may remember this hand beaded trans themed barrette Liz made me some time ago. I was proud to be trans this weekend for anyone who noticed at Pride!!

Page Four-The Back Page: Well kids, it's time to get going and wrap this edition up. Thanks for stopping by the Condo and I hope to see you again soon!!!!

Cyrsti's Condo "Sunday Edition"

Ker Plunk! Welcome kids to another "gi-normous" Sunday Edition.  Get a hot cup "o joe" and lets get started!

Page 1.- The Week that Was - or Wasn't!  A reasonably quiet week around here in the Condo.  We wrote about visits to the "girls and T-girls sandbox" Connecting gender dots is tough enough but essentially the only real way to do it-is to jump in.  No new sand was turned up.Plus, similar to many sandboxes, you never really know what could be buried there!  My only contention that the transgender girls sandbox was much more difficult! Mainly because most of the "sisters" have carried their sense of male ego and aggression with them through their transition.  When a genetic comes after you beware of the passive aggressive nature.  One way or another, your personal attitude can/will carry the day as you will see on page two.

Page 2.- A Walk in the Park?  Yesterday was my partner Liz's first public show of her hand crafted items in some time and it went well.  My deceased wife used to do shows too, so I have some sort of a back ground.  Times of course have changed and many of the higher end artisans are depending on physical shows to attract people to web sites and or physical stores.  After set up, since I am an artistic zero, my job was to actually do what comes natural-jabber (talk) and pass out cards.

Interestingly, the only real "problems" I had came from my deceased wife's sister who kept "slipping up" and calling me by my male name and he.  I told her very simply, keep it up and next time she won't go-or any where else with me.

Her highlight of the day was when I said I had to "potty" she said did I want her to along and "which restroom was I using?" REALLY?  I was sensitive and told her just to sit there and look stupid. What restroom did she think I was going to use????  Before any of you think I was being a bitch, we have been down all those roads now more than once. I told her I would be nice but only a few times.

Other than that, the crowd (as expected) was rather upscale and at the least, Liz's cards - Liz T Designs 
had a rather "unique" person passing them out!

Oh, by the way, we had a rather diverse section of vendors where we were set up.  The group beside us was several young lesbian women.

Page Three - Television Info  Perhaps you have already heard the Transparent show, with 70 yr old  actor Jeffrey Tambor  playing the lead role as a transitioning MtF parent has been picked up for a second season already. Also, maybe you have seen this "quick hitter":  It's from one of the ten million commercials you see for I-phones and/or related gadgets. In it, a 20 something man and woman are looking for possible roles in a play and he is looking at the women's roles.  I'm paraphrasing here, but she said you are looking at the women's roles.  He said I know, I may want to play one of them.  She showed absolutely no surprise or emotion and said, what ever you chose-they are your life choices!

Page Four-The Back Page.  Almost "gnawed off my arm Friday during another television related event. You all probably know I mention Cincinnati, Ohio quite a bit as a place where Liz lives (and I am working in that direction) and a city I have enjoyed most of my life.  I am not on their tourism payroll and yes the city has had a distance to go to catch up with other old river towns but they are now. Perhaps the best example of the reclamation of an area of the city called OTR (Over the Rhine) which led the country not so long ago as having the most murders in a neighborhood. Not any more- Liz told me not to miss Friday's episode of "Diners, Drive- Ins and Dives"  Then, she was exhausted and rolled over to sleep as I watched in agony all that wonderful food being prepared!  She is still hearing about it and can only recoup the damage by taking me to one - then all three of the featured spots- which are no more than twenty minutes from her house!

"Gotz" to go kids! It's a colorful, cool fall Sunday morning here in Southwestern Ohio-USA! Thanks for being such a close part of the Condo-no matter where you are!!!!

It's Never Too Early

It's never too early to think ahead to Halloween!  I found this costume on Pinterest and positively LOVE it!!!

Fortunately, Liz is a very creative seamstress, loves kitties and purple...I may not even have to rub up against her leg and purr!!!

Cyrsti's Condo "Sunday Edition"

"Ker Plunk!" after missing last week's issue, the presses are rolling with another Sunday Edition!

Page 1.- Old Friends-New Faces.  Yesterday was simply wonderful for a couple reasons-including meeting a couple old friends I hadn't seen for a minute!  One was a transgender man friend of mine.  First of all, I think it's not as easy to judge the progress of one's HRT transition if you see them all the time.  I hadn't seen Draco in a while and the changes are amazing.  He has lost weight, his face is becoming more angular (with facial hair) and his voice is changing-just to name a few of the changes.  Wow! He looks good and happy.

Another chance meeting yesterday was totally different.  I have been writing off and on for the last couple days about going to my grand daughters Bat Mitzfah and the hows and whys of doing it as a guy.  Quickly, I was told I could come as I pleased at my daughter's and grand daughter's request.  Since it was her day, I chose male.  The day was a beauty for a June, Ohio summer day.  blue skies, light breezes and low heat/humidity. Doesn't get much better than that for June around here. I am not Jewish myself and had never attended a Bat Mitzfah and it was different than I expected. I was pleasantly surprised.  After it was over, we all had a chance to eat and visit.  Not long into the afternoon, my partner Liz and I noticed an attractive 20 something woman walking around showing more skin, tattoos and piercings than clothes.  After a second, we locked eyes because we knew each other-kind of.  Over five years ago, she had met a pre HRT male version of me and after that became one of the individuals who was instrumental in accepting me and helping me into a new group of friends. Bottom line was after yesterday she had only met my old in the closet male self twice-ever. Normally, I dearly hate for that to happen but, the experience was crazy fun and deserves it's own post which we will do in the Condo later.  It's a classic story of switching gender names and pronouns-in a split second.

Paula, I simply take my hair and pull it back into a pony tail and either just wear it that way or with a baseball hat - with the hair sticking out the hole in the back.

Page 2.- The Week in Review.  Such a week it was in the comment department around the Condo! We stayed the night with Pat's wife and messed up the why's and hows of going to L.A. with Jen and Mandy.  I encourage those of you who are interested to go back to the posts Nothing to Wear, Owning It and A Night with Paula's Wife to follow the comments. Most of which, were bittersweet in how they were presented by three women who are trying (or thinking seriously of) doing a little more exploration of how their chosen gender could present in the world.

And, yes Pat it is a little scary how many of our lives were so similar, even though we have never met to this day.  The similarities also cross international borders, as I have found with readers such as Paula and Vicki in the UK-among others.  The more we learn about ourselves, no matter if we identify as cross dressers or transgender women and men- the more we come to understand who are the true "gate keepers" of our existence.

Page 3.- Stilettos on Thin Ice.  As you all know by now and if you read a little of my Backward's Both Ways post.  My first book has been e-published and among other places you can get it on Amazon which you can click on the link in the upper right hand corner of the blog.  If you want to check it out, if you can, I recommend Amazon over Barnes and Noble because for some reason I'm not good enough to figure out-it published better, with fewer mistakes.  If life slows down to a slow roar any time soon, I'm going to feature a little from the book (ala Dr. Phil) who is the most shameless huckster of his (and family's) products ever!  

FYI: The hand beaded hair barrette above, is  compliments of Liz T Designs

Again, if you read the "Backwards" post you will understand how special it was for me to do it at all! Paula said it best in this comment: " So, have you heard about the dyslexic insomniac agnostic? They would lay awake at night wondering if there is a Dog" Now I know why I can't sleep!

Page 4.-The Back Page.  As you can tell from this edition, Momma Karma is still rocking my world with pure good vibes and I love her for it.  Even though I truly have become a little "winded". Perhaps Mandy said it best with this comment:
  

"We (collectively) always figure it out in the end, so a little confusion adds color to the discussion!"

Thanks to all for spending another week with me here in the Condo!  I hope we can keep "meeting like this!"