Saturday, March 31, 2012

I am Transgendered

Check this vdieo!

Evening Spring Storms

Well it took awhile, tomorrow marks three full months on hormones.
 As I sat on my porch watching a thunderstorm roll in, here they came. First a deep melancholy enveloped me.
Not a deep dark cloud like the ones above me. Just a deep sense of what my life used to be and how different it was was utterly and completely gone.
Then came moisture in my eyes followed by deep sobs that actually became painful after a while. The truth was nothing in my being had prepared me for this moment. Living as an emotional rock shielded me from this moment of vulnerability.
The odd part was I was not sobbing out of despair.  Deep down my soul told me I was where I needed to be and where I needed to go. I was saying goodbye to an era of life and loved ones I will never see again. No they didn't reject me, they are deceased.
I lived through a great bit of pain but wouldn't accept the sorrow.
As tears blur my eyes again, the storm has passed and the evening stars are shining bright!

Friday, March 30, 2012

Making A Difference!

From Oklahoma, "OK Magazine" comes the news that transgendered woman Brittany M. Novotny has been nominated for their "Best of the Best 2012" Award.
Here's more:
"In 2010, Novotny ran for political office, a House of Representatives seat, against veteran Oklahoma politician Sally Kern. She lost the race, but it hasn’t hindered Novotny’s belief that with big risks come big rewards. “You have to take risks if you want to do big things,” she says. “You will undoubtedly fail and make some mistakes, but it’s learning from those mistakes that will help you reach your dreams.” A private practice attorney, Novotny sees herself as an advocate for Oklahomans whose rights have been violated. “Sometimes my job entails a lot of reading and paperwork, and other times it involves public speaking and convincing jurors to see my case the way I see it,” she says. Novotny serves on the Community Advisory Board for the SKIL program at Youth Services of Oklahoma County, which helps teens who find themselves without a home to stay in school and get their diploma. She also volunteers on local political campaigns and does pro bono legal work for needy individuals or organizations."

Just as an aside, Sally Kern is a rather right wing politician Brittany ran against!
Making a difference-INDEED!

We Have Comments!

Once again the "Google Gods" have seen fit to save all the comments and toss them all in today. For all of you who sent them in THANKS and I will answer all today!


Familiariarity with the Unfamiliar?

Maybe you have been there. You are sure you have been in a certain place or situation but then again knew you hadn't.
It's called "Deja Vu" by some.
Maybe why that is why I feel so naturally feminine now and why the whole feeling surpasses the need for a genital change in me? (Which is so important to others to think I should???)
Perhaps you heard of the theory of prenatal drugs given to expectant and pregnant mothers in the late 40's and early 1950's. I don't remember the whole story but research is being done to see if one of the most popular drugs of the time had a tendency to promote increased levels of female hormones. This in turn could have affected the fetus.
I was born in that time period.
Maybe the feminine feelings I fought so hard to understand and then deny were just my destiny.
My whole life was just "Deja Vu"?

New Video and Transgendered Television

I just posted a new video to our "Entertainment Center" here in the Condo sent along to me by a friend. The video contains a clip by "LoreleiLaneLee" a self proclaimed gay man who enjoys singing as a woman (and looks very good doing it!)
Also today another friend alerted me to the fact that "Doctor Oz" was going to be doing a new show on transgendered women.
This was good news for the transgendered community because "Doctor Oz" is the "Anti Jerry Springer". He could be trusted to provide a positive look at our lives-which he did.
Dr. McGinn at the Glaad Awards.
I'm sure you will be able to follow the link above to see excerpts of the show. Highlights included "Dr. Christine McGinn", another transgendered woman herself who is now a leading surgeon doing SRS.
Throughout the show, she took great pains to point out gender confusion was a correctable medical condition.
The two or three other guests also did their best to tell the world being transgendered was not a decision.
The show did a nice job of balancing the beauty of McGinn and the others who like most of us aren't that fortunate!
Finally, I do think shows like these have a tendency to locate and promote the "feel good" aspect of friends, family and work accepting those who have transitioned.
We all know that is a fantasy many of us struggle to achieve.
Having said that, the world needs to see it can work and don't think it can't happen to them. (with a close family member!)

Thursday, March 29, 2012

Another Top Ten Transgender List!

"The Vine" just released their list of the top ten transgendered and androgynous models that are prettier than pageant queens.
Of interest is the fact the article included real live definitions :

Trans-gendered  Someone who identifies with a gender other than their biological one. So someone who was born with bits that don't match their brain.

Transvestite A person who adopts the dress and behaviour of a gender other than their biological one for reasons that are sometimes sexy, but often not, but does not primarily identify with that gender.

Cross dresser The practice of adopting the clothes of a gender other than your biological one.

Drag Adopting the characteristics of a gender other than your biological one as a form of performance.

Tranny Like the 'N-word', okay when someone who is it says it, not when they're not.

Queer The beautiful, rainbow coverall for all these things, and more.

Now lets get to the Top 10! Lots of pix that I am going to split up between here, the Den  and

Three of them, Andrej Pejic, Lea T and Jenna Talaklova are givens and we have seen plenty of pictures of here. A few of the others are less known. At least here.

"Valentijn de Hingh has always been comfortable in front of the camera —she was discovered as an eight-year-old boy by Dutch filmmaker Hetty Niesch and filmed until the age of seventeen as part of a documentary on transgender youth. After under going gender reassignment surgery in 2007, de Hingh was scouted by a modelling agent. The willowy beauty made her runway debut in the Spring 2008 shows, walking for Maison Martin Margiela and Comme des Garcons."

" Isis King (formerly Darrell Walls) gained notoriety for being the first trans woman to compete on America’s Next Top Model. She’s since appeared on The Tyra Banks Show and in Seventeen and US Weekly.
  **See photo in the "Den".

English model Carolina Cossey is one of the world's most well known transsexual women. She had an extras role in the 1981 James Bond film For Your Eyes Only, which prompted tabloid News of the World to come out with a front page headline that read "James Bond Girl Was a Boy”, and was the first trans woman to pose for Playboy. She’s also modelled for Australian Vogue and Harper's Bazaar.

The next selection is Roberta Close.
Note** Roberta Close was the first pre-operative transsexual model  to pose for the Brazilian edition of Playboy magazine. After undergoing gender reassignment surgery in 1989, Close posed nude for a Brazilian men's magazine called Sexy and was voted "Most Beautiful Woman in Brazil”.


The next selection is Claudia Charriez.
In 2008, Charriez was kicked off of America's Next Top Model and The Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency TV shows. She went on to win the America's Next Top Transsexual Model contest on The Tyra Banks Show later that year. See her pix at Trannsnation!

I also posted the photo of the beautiful Sri Lankan model Chamila Asanka was an up-and-comer at last year’s Miss International Queen pageant, an annual transgender beauty competition held in Thailand over at Trannsnation!

Finally in the den is the picture of Florencia de la V who started her career in magazines before picking up a job at Buenos Aires club "Tabaris" and catching the eye of prominent television/theatre producer Gerardo Sofovich. She’s a well-known actress/model in her native Argentina, where she lives with her husband and surrogate conceived twin children.

Indeed a Super Top Ten!!!!

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

More Good Vibes From Ru Paul

"Honorary Trans Nazi in Male Drag"
It seems one of my all time favorite performers "Ru Paul" has drawn an Estrogen line in the sand on his "Drag Race Show"
If you really care "William Belli" was recently kicked off the show for "undisclosed" reasons.
The only relevant part of the whole affair was some of the fallout which helped to recognize differences in our cultures in the "Huffington Post".

"Last week's episode of RuPaul's Drag Race promised to be the "most shocking episode ever." Viewers learned, after watching two drag queens compete in the "lip sync for your life" elimination round, that neither contestant would be disqualified. Instead, one of the other Season 4 contestants, Willam (Belli) was disqualified for breaking the rules."

"William Belli"

"While it's been advertised that we'll have to wait for this season's reunion special of RuPaul's Drag Race to find out exactly what went down, this hasn't stopped fans from creating speculative theories. Whether it was promiscuity, drugs, or behavior, Willam's departure can be used as catalyst for a larger discussion on tensions between the worlds of gay men in drag and female transgender performers. I'm not too concerned about why Willam was eliminated, but I am concerned about certain types of justifications use to explain his dismissal, specifically speculation regarding the use of estrogen or hormone therapy.
To help you locate me in this discussion, I should point out that for the past three years, I've documented the lives of 10 self-identified effeminate gay men for a documentary series called 50Faggots. I've spent a lot of time entrenched in the worlds of individual nightlife personalities and drag queens, as well as having gone out many times in drag myself as a gay man. I believe there is an ongoing undercurrent of different privileges, benefits, and consequences for both gay drag queens and trans female impersonators when individuals perform in specific nightlife venues. In the controlled, television space of RuPaul's Drag Race, there is an expectation that these performers should identify as gay men, and that has allowed for certain assumptions about what differentiates a gay man from a transgender woman. There seems to be a certain level of criticism attached to the speculation that if Willam was taking estrogen or hormones, then a) he could not identify as a gay man any longer, and b) this would somehow be cheating and giving him an "advantage" over the other contestants.
Well, let's address this. I have a hard time understanding why the idea of estrogen use would be threatening to being a gay man, when in fact, personal identity is a delicate balance of choice, personal representation, and lived experiences. I believe some gay men can take estrogen or be on hormone therapy and still identify as men, just as some trans folks choose not to take hormones at all or refuse body-modification surgery. It would also be ironic if this were the real reason for William's departure when fake breast plates, body modification, and plastic surgery have been openly used by many gay men who commit their careers to drag."

I underlined what I feel to be the most important part of the article.
Now I'm trying to connect the dots between this and "Jenna" the disqualified Miss Canada participant.
If I can!

Quote of the Day

The new midlife crisis. Why get a new woman...become one! -

Taking the Night Off!

I was going to take the night off and just lay around and watch some my favorite brainless television shows.  For some reason I have moved upward or downward from "Mob Wives" or "Jerseylicious" to quality shows like "Swamp People" and Mud Catters". (I'm too ashamed to even give you all any links!)
I just couldn't stay away though, came down to the library here in the "Condo" and  checked out what a few of my blogging girlfriends were up to.
Truthfully, my mind has grown weary for the moment with the endless gender dialogue here and elsewhere.
The highlight of the day was the wonderment of how "my girls" became so sore so quick.
In the midst of my "night off" I found some one else to do the heavy lifting.
Her name is "Andie" and she writes a beautiful blog called "Andie's Place".
I am too lazy to steal any of her thunder and too impressed not to pass is along.
Her post is called "What is a sense of Gender" and here is just a touch of it:

"A section in my new poetry book is called ‘A Sense of Gender’, and it is a really curious thing. What is it to be self-aware of being a man or being a woman? Is it just a feeling of consonance with others who have bodies like yours? Or perhaps dissonance with those who don’t? That seems a bit thin somehow. I am sure that with a bit of research I could unearth psychological studies that would dip into the gendered mind, the ways we think, that place us more comfortably in one camp or the other. Except that drags us kicking into the binary conflict that simply doesn’t suit everyone."

Her post is simply a wonderful look of how many view our gender (s).

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Quote of the Day

It doesn't matter how you "present". People will see what they want to see anyhow!
A message from "Alex" a close friend!

Why We Owe Black America a Ton of Credit.

Recently the local PBS (Public Broadcasting System) channel in my area ran a documentary about the black civil rights struggles in the deep south in the early 1960's. The marches, protests and boycotts by the black community led to the Civil Right's Act of 1964. (from Wikipedia)
"The landmark legislation was a piece of legislation in the United States  that outlawed major forms of discrimination against African Americans and women, including racial segregation. It ended unequal application of voter registration requirements and racial segregation in schools, at the workplace and by facilities that served the general public ("public accommodations")."

What is happening now is that transgendered and transsexual groups are using the legislation to argue we are one of the remaining groups in our country still being denied rights as Americans under the law.

"The bill was called for by President John F. Kennedy in his civil rights speech of June 11, 1963, in which he asked for legislation "giving all Americans the right to be served in facilities which are open to the public—hotels, restaurants, theaters, retail stores, and similar establishments," as well as "greater protection for the right to vote." Kennedy delivered this speech following a series of protests from the African-American community, the most concurrent being the Birmingham campaign which concluded in May 1963."

In 1964, I was in my early teens and of course followed all of this. Little did I know how it would affect me later!

Lend a Hand! has began circulating a petition to help the disqualified transsexual trans woman who was rejected from the "Miss Canada" pageant.
You can to "" to lend your support to "Jenna Talackova"!

"Weakly Horrorscope"

Here we go friends another "horrorscope" from the Frisky!

Who cares how things get done this week, as long as you haul ass and get all your ducks in a row. As it goes, you need to be on point with your plans now and know what you want. No more putting up with excuses or thinking, “Why me?” as the world can’t wait for your genius for one more day. Bring it or back out.

Sure it's weak but true!!!!!!

Quote of the Day!

"As my momma would put it.  Lips, hips, tits, and ass don't come for free nor are they covered by medical insurance." Christina Cracraft, transsexual teacher and burlesque dancer in Sante Fe, New Mexico.
Unfortunately (per norm) she is facing suspension from her teaching job. Read the story and see the news video here.

Just an aside. I saw a real live burlesque show on New Years Eve last December by a touring NYC group and it was tremendous!
If you really are looking for lessons on the sensuality of being a woman, I highly recommend burlesque or belly dancing!


It is so easy to get caught up in the life and death- give and take around here in the "Condo" It's hard to slow down.
Who did who, how hard they did it  and what did they looked like when they did it rules us sometimes. I am one of those.
First of all, I missed a couple milestones to thank you about.
Somewhere along the way recently, the fact that we zoomed past 215,000 hits on the blog and shot past over 900 posts was totally lost on me.
Slowly and sometimes unsurely, I'm still putting together as much time and effort as I can into my "" website is varyingly levels of success. My patience level on occasion collides with my lack of expertise and causes a huge amount of frustration.
One thing is certain, time keeps marching on. Thanks so much for being along for the journey!

Now I Understand you "Stealth" Folks!

I have read and even conversed with transgendered or transsexual women who have gone "stealth". OK, let me clarify some had transitioned with the operation and some had not had the operation but lived in society as females. They made no secret of the fact they wanted nothing to do with the "crazies" in our culture.
I took that as a sign of weakness. How could they not want to help in making life easier for the transgendered generations to come????
Well, the last couple of months on this blog have given me a real insight to where they are coming from and I apologize for my ignorance.
What changed? To be blunt about it, yet again recently I was told I was less of a person and shouldn't be allowed to live my life in my chosen gender. Get back in my closet and quit embarrassing the chosen ones who were willing and able to go the distance to Thailand.
Was this coming from some right wing, bible quoting bigot? Hell no, it was coming from right wing bible thumping transsexual Nazi's! Really!
Now I know why the lady down the street goes about her life quietly without ever having the mystical operation to take her to the official promised land. Wow I was thick!!!
Why would she want any part of this circus?
Why do I? Because I need to be committed! (I know there is a rubber room reservation waiting for me!) Seriously, I'm committed to helping anyone who can learn from my story. My failures and successes are out here to benefit others that's it. I won't do it any other way because it's my life and the positive karma I've enjoyed lately dictates I do it this way.
So here is my apology to all you stealth transgendered men and women. I understand where you are coming from now.
Ironically,  probably like you I have had more vicious attacks on my lifestyle from within rather from outside our culture.

Monday, March 26, 2012

Yet Another "Here We Go Again!"

Anne sent in another thought provoking comment. I started to respond directly to it but then decided I needed to do a little more.
Here's the comment:

"I am wondering how you feel about the distinction between being trans-gender, ie "presenting" as the gender opposite to that matching the sexual characteristics with which you were born....and,

being trans-sexual, ie going through that extremely difficult process of changing those physical characteristics to match the brain sex with which you were born.

You see if you do see the distinction and can accept that HUGE difference then perhaps you can see why organizations like MUC must exclude the transgendered from those contests designed for women.

If you cannot make that distinction or simply refuse to accept it, then you contribute to the push back against that preposterous claim that "presenting" female actually makes one female and will continue to cause problems for young women like Jenna."

First of all, I believe sex and gender are different. Let's make that distinction. I don't feel the transsexual elitists are any better than the narrow minded red neck sitting at the end of the bar in their thought patterns. Let's use the quote of the day I just posted and change it to "You aren't a woman. You are an operation." I don't care what equipment you carry. I'm a libertarian. Spend your life on this planet the best way you know how. That includes gender.

Secondly, I know a few vocal transsexual elitists feel their "extremely difficult" process was somehow more difficult than any other of us mere transgendered folks or cross dressers. I agree their process was more painful and expensive but that is it. I see it as an effort to transfer the "male privilege" they experienced to a "transsexual privilege" they think they deserve.

I do not think MUC should be forced to take Jenna but I do believe in her right to force the issue. It seems to me you are contradicting yourself at this point.  MUC is most certainly is pushing back at our entire culture no matter how we identify. How can you begin to say this is the fault of the transgendered culture? You didn't say a word about how wrong it was for Jenna to be rejected. Really?

Finally, let me use your push back phrase.
As I started to live my life in my chosen gender, the biggest push back I experienced was from the transsexual elitists I have encountered on line.
Dare I say some have bordered on the jealous and bitter side? For the life of me, I don't know why Anne? I'm just another human trying to live life the best I can. Does it make it wrong that I am accepted in the places I go as a trans person? Some trans-nazi's seem to think it is.
Let's use you as an example. If you are in a restaurant near me and you are an attractive transsexual operated woman, you have a couple choices. If indeed you notice me at all, you could stay stealth and say nothing or whisper to the people you are with (throwing me under the bus for your own perceived superiority) or try to say something to me.
Let me follow this point up with another. Compare appearance with all the expensive operations in the world.  I  have certainly seen more than a couple transsexual women who just don't make the female grade. At that point do they keep their female privilege card to use the restroom because of all the money they spent? What about the female to male transgendered folks? Do they contribute to the push back too?

I will say it again and again Anne.  I do my best to "push forward" in my life and in anyway possible help others who may be on the same path.  I do not believe you can spend your way into becoming a woman and I'm sure Jenna feels the same way although I can't speak for her.
I believe it would be Jenna who would use the "preposterous" word to think transgendered women hurt her chances to be accepted in the pageant.

Oh, by the way. I'm only presenting as me. Until science evolves to a point a trans woman can birth a child we are all the same.  As a friend once told me "Beware, all the operations and hormones in the world do not often make a man a woman."

***I'm sure some of you may want to comment on this pro or con. If the blog system would let you in, you can send a comment to my email and I will transfer it here.

Quote of the Day

"You are not a woman. You are a career."
From the 195s film "The Star". Spoken to Bette Davis by Sterling Hayden.

Sunday, March 25, 2012

Transgendered Stars Shine Brite!

As Glaad wrapped up their recent media awards show, I almost blew up my computer downloading pix of transgendered stars.
I'm going to try to spread them out here, the Gallery page in the Condo and the rest on "Trannsnation".
Here are just a couple!
 Dr. Marcy Bowers of course is the renowned transsexual surgeon (transgendered herself).
"Manila and Sahara" are from RuPaul's "Drag Race".

Finally I added an appropriate  photo of Ru himself (looking like some sort of an 1950's Havana reject)

"Manila Luzon & Sahara Davenport" 
"Marcy Bowers"

Yet Another Transgender Rejection

If you are active at all on line and/or from Canada, you probably know Jenna Talackova, a Vancouver native was disqualified from Miss Universe Canada.  Denis Davila, the national director of Miss Universe Canada, told the Toronto Star that the rules state that each contestant must be a "naturally born female." He suspected that Jenna Talackova, a Vancouver native, was not born female, which she later confirmed.

“She feels like a real girl and she is a real girl. She didn’t expect people to question it,” Davila said. “She was hoping we could put her back in the competition, but the rules are very clear and there’s no way we can go back on it.”

Here's a little more on the story from "Xtra" in Canada:
(When) "The 23-year-old's pictures and profile have been erased from the Miss Universe website. Jenna has told CTV that she won't be speaking about her disqualification until she has conferred with a lawyer, but went to her Twitter to say she had been kicked out of the competition over "discrimination" and that she is "not giving up".
A real Miss Universe has nothing to do with who someone was when they were born, and everything to do with who they've grown up to be. A real Miss Universe is someone who has worked hard to overcome adversity and achieve her dreams. It's a shame the competition doesn't recognize that, and insists on putting so much emphasis on physicality, instead of focusing on what's on the inside -- which is what makes a "real" woman, and which one would hope, is what makes a woman worthy of being called Miss Universe."

I have posted a couple pictures of "Jenna" here on the blog and she is worthy of the pageant.
My opinion is this pageant is just another line in the sand drawn by society against transgender or transsexual  women or men. Not unlike the restroom issue!

Saturday, March 24, 2012

So! How's that Workin' for ya Trans Girl?

I received a question the other day about the changes in gender perception I have experienced in the world.
First off my cynic bitch self said what the hell kind of  question is that? DUH! Everything changes when you cross the gender line!
After I sent the bitch to her room without her "android" I started to think the question was a good one.
Certainly the stimuli men and women encounter in the world as they go about their everyday lives is as different as night and day. I am not going to sit here and bore both of us with the age old stories about losing "IQ" and losing male priviledge. True but not worth beating into the ground again.
My situation may be different than some in that my new circle of friends never knew the old ( male) me. Their decisions to embrace me as a friend came from knowing me as a trans woman.
Early in the process this caused me great stress.  I was trying all so hard to be a woman.
As time passed and I relaxed, the most amazing thing happened. I became me. The girl inside just appeared and took over. The hair, clothes and makeup just became part of the total person.
So, a very simple answer to the perception question is sure, there are huge changes but mine were all inside.
I just felt so natural. The new perceptions were like coming home.
The public may still not view me as a genetic woman but they are more and more viewing me more than a "man in a dress".
As it turned out, the question was a good one. The answer leads me to believe (in my case at least) it was destiny or some long hidden DNA that took me to this point in my life!
What a ride!!!!

Quote of the Day

"It's not what you are thinking...but it could be!"
Cyrsti Hart

Friday, March 23, 2012

Transgendered Questions with No Answers

This is just a bit of an addition to my recent "Mirror" post.
The trans woman I quoted and I had also been chatting back and forth about the difficulty in locating a true trans girlfriend. I feel her ideas are relevant enough to pass along.
For clarification I'm talking about a friend to share life experiences with. A person to hang out with and do girl things with.  As it turns out, the person who fills that void in my life now is a genetic woman but I certainly wasn't always that lucky
I am not talking about the huge group who want sex or for me to "dress them up". That's not being a friend.
Here is her question:

"I would love to have a trans woman girlfriend to do things with together.  Women click together, the gay community clicks together like mad (however loosely), gender queers click together, but in my experience the trans community does not click with anyone (gay, straight, bi, or trans).  It really pisses me off.  I don’t get it.  The only place we can really bond with people is online."

As our "chat" continued, I essentially told her how weary I was of endless discussion and no progress. Except for my theory that many in the transsexual culture went to the "promised land" of no return and the grass wasn't so green. They simply missed the feminine essence except for appearance.
 Her reply:

"(I) agree that the feminine essence is neglected.  To me a lot of what feminine means is thinking and caring about others.  It is totally missing in my experience.  I find trans women seem so isolated and disconnected. I don't get it.  That is why I have been going to a gender queer group instead.  I am getting more of what I am looking for and I guess a little less of other things.
I can understand your disappointment.  It would be so nice to have a real life common girlie bond with a like minded trans woman."

I'm weary of the whole deal but still would love to hear from those of you who have had success establishing a girl friend with transgendered experience.
Obviously, I'm just one voice in the wilderness. My experience is just one.
I just don't have any quick answers to any of these questions and I hope my experience does not reflect the attitude of the overall transgender community!
Unfortunately I'm judging our culture guilty until proven innocent.

New Quote of the Day!

"Intelligence is in the mind of the beholder."

Transgendered Mirror

A friend of mine on anther blog sent me this reply to a conversation we were having about acceptance of trans women and trans men in society.
It's incredible!( She is a trans woman.)
"I agree with you on trans women being shunned by some genetic women because of ego and fear.  Women can be very competitive along with all the ugliness and back stabbing that fosters.  To me I feel it is simply an attitude where they rank the status of people and place us at the bottom.  I am more concerned with the fear aspect.    Trans women can be like a mirror that reflects back a genetic woman’s basic sexuality and make them feel uncomfortable.  I think people tend to see trans people, maybe unconsciously or not, as the genetic rather than the target gender (a man in a dress in my experience).  Men are aggressive and that is uncomfortable, even if it is just a stare or whatever the case may be.  We also represent feminine on the other hand and lesbianism can be uncomfortable as well.  Maybe they see us as what was an attractive man and maybe that carries over into an attractive femininity that makes genetic women uncomfortable. "

Interestingly, my friend came up with much of this insight in a conversation she had with a younger genetic woman.
Where ever it came from it is wonderful insight!

Thursday, March 22, 2012

New Jersey Brownies Support Transgendered Scout

 This is from the "Montclair Patch" and needs to be as widely viewed as the transphobic young girl scout who called for a boycott of cookie sales.

"Maplewood mom Laura Booker was skeptical when her daughter wanted to join the Girl Scouts organization: As a kid, being a girl scout was the last thing I had ever wanted mostly because I couldn’t fathom wearing the dress, and as an adult, I want to raise a kid who is progressive and feminist and not stuck in the 1950s (which was the assumption I made about the Girl Scouts). But Booker found the Girl Scouts to be a broader-thinking organization than she had anticipated: I couldn’t have foreseen that joining the Brownies would be such a rich opportunity for Emma and a couple of her friends from the troop to show support for a transgender girl named Bobby Montoya who is a Girl Scout in Colorado. This was a story that Emma could relate to – a little girl who wanted to be a Girl Scout – and therefore was the perfect example to teach her about being an ally and accepting people for who they are and who they say they are. Watch the video that Booker's daughter and friends made to support Montoya attached. Read Booker's full accounting of this story on her blog, Queering the Mind, here.
Watch the video that Booker's daughter and friends made to support Montoya attached. Read Booker's full accounting of this story on her blog, Queering the Mind, here."

We've Got Stat's!

Relax, didn't have to go to the "Doc" to get rid of them!
These came from "Match" and may surprise or influence you before you get all dolled to go out next time!

". Men say that having gorgeous hair trumps a curvy figure. Trying to decide between a pre-date trip to the salon or Victoria’s Secret, ladies? Go for the fab hair option. According to a recent survey conducted by Pantene, 60% of men surveyed would rather date a woman with great hair than noticeable curves — and 74% of them said they notice a woman because of her hair. In fact, a full 44% of male respondents said that hair was the first thing they notice about a woman… even before her clothes (26%), legs (25%) and makeup (4%). Most of the men who took Pantene’s poll also said they’d be more likely to approach a woman at a bar with great hair than one who was wearing a low-cut shirt. This is great news, since monthly hair upkeep is more of a necessity than sexy lingerie if you’re a woman who’s on a budget. Of course, that doesn’t mean you can’t wear sassy underwear if you’ve got it — but when change is tight (like in this tanked economy), it’s good to know that a well-timed mane flip can still make you a main attraction."
 (Wait a minute...does it matter that "Pantene" sponsored this?)

There is more:

"Guys find pink or red lips more alluring than the sexiest pair of stilettos. Should you invest in a pair of high heels, or that new Chanel red lipstick? If you’re forced to choose just one of these items, research shows that rouged lips are a better bet. In a recent survey of over 24,000 men and women, 88% of respondents said their date’s laugh made a bigger impression on a first date; only 12% picked shoes (there goes that perfect excuse for buying a new pair of Manolo Blahniks, right?).

Add a pop of red to that smiling and laughing mouth, and your attractiveness spikes even more, according to a study from the University of Manchester published in the UK’s Daily Mail. Researchers tracked the eye movements of 50 men and discovered that that in the 10 seconds after meeting a woman for the first time, the average guy will spend more than half of his time gazing at her mouth. If she’s applied lipstick, he’ll find it even more difficult to look away: a dash of pink can hold his attention for 6.7 seconds, while red keeps him fixated for 7.3 seconds. According to the study, fuller pouts were the overall preference, though the appeal of thin-lipped women increased by 40% when lipstick was applied — but when the ladies went completely bare, men tired of looking at their mouths after only 2.2 seconds. So regardless of your lip type, it pays to paint your pucker on date night."

Easier said than done for me. I have been a total failure in finding and wearing a red lipstick. My excuse is the lighting in the store where I buy it causes a color change!

Cyrsti's Quote of the Day

"Understanding a man is rocket science. Understanding a woman is an art form."
Cysrti H

"Here's Lookin' at ya Kid!"

If you are not familiar, the line above comes from one of the most famous motion pictures of all time "Casablanca". It also happens to be my favorite classic movie.
Yesterday the "TCM" television network presented a one night only re release of the movie in theatres across the USA. I was lucky enough to see the film on the big screen with a special friend.
As luck would have it we both could get together early for coffee, girl talk and window shopping before the showing.
A day such as yesterday left me feeling so lucky and fortunate. Yes, it was me again being able to live as my chosen gender.  The rest of the world and all the usual worries about just being who I want to be just faded away. I even almost cried with "Ingrid Bergman" in the film.
Just had to pass it along!!!!

More "Non Stealth" Reaffirmation!

It's true I am biased against those  transsexual women and men who transition and go back to their closet.
I feel guilty because I am truly a "live and let live" person but when I see families put it all on the line to get the message out, I wonder if you transgendered stealth folks feel any guilt at all?
I have seen a few of you who  have ventured out of your stealth closet to fight only  with others in our community-which to coin a male term is like "pissing in the wind". Also, how about the trans-nazi's who think I shouldn't be allowed to use a woman's rest room because I haven't had 50,000 dollars in surgery? The fifty grand bought them a rest room pass...Yay!
I equate it with the friends of mine who don't vote because "it won't do any good anyhow" or the ultra pro military people who have never served a day.
Go ahead and think the obvious-what have you done Cyrsti?
Not much to brag about. I write this blog to try to pay forward and spend a lot of time in the public eye as a very evident transgendered woman but I'm not looking for any awards.
At the least ,do you stealth  folks buy extra Girl Scout Cookies? (I'm not asking you for a huge sacrifice!)
Whatever the case, I'm sure most all of us are not doing this:

Before this turns into a total rant, let me say how much I respect the courage of these families to step out of the shadows to help others without even a hint of financial return. On occasion it seems  other transgendered folks  stepped into the spotlight primarily for the almighty dollar or 5 minutes of fame.
We all should be as courageous to follow in their footsteps, no matter how small the effort.
All of this brings to mind a recent encounter on a social network site with a trans woman who said she "didn't have anything to do with transgendered women and their causes".  Why? Because of the petty bickering and that is true-But! She went on to say she was now a proud radical "dyke" (her words). Really?
She obviously had a real smooth transition to get to the point  to be a stealth radical dyke today and didn't see the need to help others????
Look, I never question her end result. It's her life to live how she sees fit and somehow it must be very comfortable for her not to worry about all the trans youth today struggling with their identities to the point of suicide??
Finally, I try not to get too political here but at the least we all need to pay attention to the candidates who are trying to take our freedoms away and buy extra girl scout cookies if you can still find them.
Shine a little light into your stealth closet!!!! You might be surprised what you will find growing there!

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Still no Word and One "Mo" Picture

A week or so ago, a friend told us that blogs devoted to the doings of the beauty pageant circuit were reporting that 23-year-old Jenna Talackova had made it to the finals as a contestant in the 2012 Miss Universe Canada pageant.   The reason of course the story made to this major stage,  is the 6'1 statuesque blonde is transsexual.
As soon as it was went away and still is in limbo.
In the meantime, couldn't resist another picture of Jenna!
Didn't think you would mind!

Monday, March 19, 2012

Transgendered Therapy?

One of the most popular and most needed issues we talk about here on the "Condo" is the need for quality transgendered therapists.
We are so fortunate to have a very qualified therapist who reads our blog. Her name is "Sherri Lynne" and I'm sure you recognize the name from the links I have provided.
Recently, "Matt Kailey" a ftm transsexual man wrote a blog post called "What should therapists know about trans issues?"
As with all of Matt's posts, it is an in depth, well written look into the subject.
If you are considering therapy, you may want to take a look!

Check this Video!

I have seen still pictures of  "Jai Rodriquez" as Amanda Knott but this video clip is special!

*** No Infringement intended. Made without any profit. Footage is copyright of the owners ****
Uploaded by SpecialGurlFan on Mar 17, 2012

"SpecialGurlFan" is on YouTube and has basically specialized in "classic" media clips of entertainers such as "David Shawn Michaels" and "Christopher Morley".

The Angst of being Transsexual at 60

No, I didn't write this for a change. Certainly I have enough "angst" to go around and will ship you a portion if you need it!
It's actually an answer from "Coleen Nolan" who answers all kind of questions in her column.

"Dear Coleen,
For many years I've lived as a woman whenever I can. I'm a man of nearly 60 and fewer friends are staying in touch.
These friends accept me as a woman - some are ex-boyfriends who used to take me out as their girlfriend. Maybe they don't find me as attractive as a woman now I'm older?
I'm starting to live the life of a lonely woman.
Have you any ideas how a woman like me can attract some friends and have a better social life?
Coleen says..
KEEP in touch with transexual groups and look online to find out which groups are worth joining and which bars and clubs are recommended.
We all get to a point in life where we worry if we're as attractive as we once were. But a confident person oozes sexiness and attractiveness. So get out there and strut your stuff.
Don't obsess about looking for a relationship."

I am passing it along because we have discussed a couple of these issues right here recently; age, looks and social life.
She answered it well!

Are Women More in Tune with the Earth?

I remember an advertising campaign for a skin lotion a couple years ago which said something like "your number one fashion accessory this summer will be skin!"
As the warm season approaches in my part of the world I have used liberal amounts of hair removal cream and lotion to get ready.
Every time this time of the year rolls around I wonder if women are more in tune with the envioronment as a whole. I know there are no absolutes but it seems you see women wear fewer clothes from hair to toe.  Women get cold faster and warm faster than men  and even have a tendency to wear shoes less and go barefooted.
I have heard scientific evidence that skin is an attraction to men.
If my number one fashion accessory this summer is skin, I will be in fashion trouble. On the other hand to be finally able to be comfortable in spring and summer fashions is a dream come true for me.
I don't know why the extra pleasure I derive from wearing flip flops, summer jeans and a sleeveless top is so much more than taking your shirt off as a guy. Whatever clothes I put on it, it's still my skin and it's still the same air here in Ohio.
One thing is certain, I hope the new feelings never go away!

Sunday, March 18, 2012

Pageant Pix

Miss Asia NYC Nicky Despi (Japan) and her court

Missing the "Golden Years"?

Recently we have discussed starting transitioning into a trans woman or man in mid life.
Andrej Pejic
We have gone through the pain of telling others and the extreme possibility of losing everything we have worked for.
Let's forget all of that and get a bit more shallow.
Society tells us consistently a woman's "golden years" come earlier in life. Sure, as the "baby boomer" generation has aged and cosmetic surgery has progressed many "older" women are still very attractive.
Still, for the majority of females the most attractive years of their life are in their youth. Come on, what do you think Andrej Pejic is going to look like at 50 after 40 years on a water diet?    
Doesn't matter. The average transgendered individual misses all of it. Recapturing any of that time period for a transitioning trans woman later in life remains largely a fantasy. All of those long years of a rough male life is mostly non reversible for those of us without the financial resources to do it. Even some of those with the resources can't- from some of the pictures I've seen.
A blog I always read and reference on occasion is "Janie's" Not long ago she wrote a post concerning the number of pictures one sees of cross dressers in supposedly exotic feminine attire. Basically she was asking what were they thinking? I agree, the majority look ridiculous to the point of hurting the transgendered culture. The sad part is that some of the girls look better with their clothes on.
Perhaps you noticed I used the word "cross dresser"- on purpose. I understand the layers of our community include cross dressers and fetishists too and the people who have the interest in viewing them. Perhaps many of these pictures come from individuals who never plan on being any part of a transgender female. OR-
Maybe what we are seeing is one of us trying vainly to recapture something they probably never had.
Sure I have a strong sense of envy when I see an attractive young transgender girl. (But I certainly can't dress like one!)
As I've written more than once, I would have rather been on the sidelines in a short cheerleader's skirt than the football uniform I was wearing.
Realistically there is no return to those days for us so the next best thing for many is a shortcut. Forget the long and often very difficult process of presenting as a well groomed attractive middle aged woman.  Just take a load of pictures in bra and panties, toss them on the web and someone will like them.
Then there are those who take what they have and tell society to get over it. See my post "Transgendered Activism"). Those trans women are the true heroines of our culture.
Finally, all is not bleak for those of who have the opportunity to transition in mid life.
Natural hormone therapy does have a tendency to blur the genders. Men are less masculine and women less feminine. This time of our lives presents the best window of opportunity to express our chosen gender to the public since childhood before puberty.
Also, positive media attention is at an all time high for transgendered and transsexual men and women. Public reaction is becoming less of a shock.  Trans women and men are becoming  just another segment of society and some people respect our resolve to live our life as we see it and others could care less.
Finally, one of my pet theories is the emergence of mid to late life partners no matter how you identify.
A whole different post I'm still trying to work on was started from a comment I received from a friend. It seemed her wife loved her bi-gendered nature but in a male form. I believe our dual gendered nature will begin to play increasing well with women who have never been successful with a so called traditional male. This idea also includes trans men. All of a sudden a rather unconventional relationship possibility begins to look increasingly favorable.
Now, reverse the situation and say you prefer a man. Social networking and other sites have made that possible too.
It seems easier to look forward these days as a transgendered woman or man. Two things are for sure. You can't reverse time and begin a transition when your body was more workable and your life will change dramatically with your gender. But!
The nice possibility is the gender jump off the cliff could produce a softer landing than ever imagined.
Now, there are those pictures? Really?

Spring has Sprung?

I am probably jinxing all of us in my part of the world.  Our March weather the last couple of days has been flat out beautiful. Mostly sunny, light breeze and highs in the mid 70's. I used the "jinx" word because I have seen a few fairly serious cold snaps and snow into April.
The fun part to me is finally coming true. I never could go sleeveless because of a coat of very male arm hair. My work was a short sleeve only situation so showing up suddenly with hairless arms was not an option.
All of that nonsense is behind me now and I can benefit from the dual hormone therapy I'm on too.  I am heading to a full three months on a form of estrogen and a testosterone blocker and am benefiting from a natural hormonal decline at my age.
SO! My skin is softer and my muscle definition is down and warm weather is here! I have had to finally change my shopping habits away from sleeves. Sure my wrists are a little thicker than most women and my "too small" to catch a football hands are coming full circle to help me now. One way or another, the world is just going to have to work their way through it!
Luckily over the years I have become a thrift store fanatic and with my current budgetary constraints-it's an ideal shopping fit!
A special friend of mine and I are taking in the one night re release of "Casablanca" (my fave classic movie!) this Wednesday so I do have time to find something to impress!

By the way, I have added a couple fashion sites in our "Beauty Boutique Room" here at the condo if you need a few ideas!

Friday, March 16, 2012

The Real Face of Transgendered Activism?

I'm as guilty as the next blog person about seeking out the most beautiful and dynamic transgendered or transsexuals to picture on the blog.

The trio above do not fit that image but could be more representative of our culture as a whole.
They call themselves the "Queer Avengers" from the UK- "Shelley, Brookllyne and Ashley" recently held a conference to voice concerns over the way transgendered people are treated in the media.

I've heard "trans stealth" described as just a bigger closet. I guess you could describe these trans women as the ultimate "anti-stealth" movement.

Go here to read more!

Miss Universe Update

Actually, in the case of "Jenna Talackova" , there is no update. According to "Missosology" this picture of "Jenna" has been taken down.
Reportively, the last known transsexual contestant in the "Miss Universe" pageant was back in 1994 because:
Jenna official portrait at Miss Universe Canada website.

"Many national pageants lack specifics in their requirements. In many countries, it is legal to change ones sex. That is why in 2004, Chen Lili, a transsexual, decided to join the Miss Universe China pageant. "A sex-change woman registering for the Miss Universe contest is something that has never happened before," Miss Universe selection committee chairman Zhang Ruiling told reporters. Chen Lili's application was denied. The public opinion was divided.
Cao Gang, a beauty contest expert in Shanghai, offered his support to Lili: "She has been granted the status as a woman, and is protected and recognized by law. There is no reason to kick her out." But some see it as a publicity gimmick. "Another media circus."

Chen Lili is the first transsexual who attempted to join the national qualifiers of Miss Universe

Being a bit of a bitch, I can see why the other contestants wouldn't want these women in the pageant for more reasons than being transsexual!

Navigation 101 with the Girls!

This is a cute little learning story from a week or so ago.
I was at a girl friend's house helping her do some work here and there.
One of the entrances to the kitchen had a small cart with a microwave.  You could walk through it easy enough unless there was more than one of us trying to pass through.
The first time we met in the entrance, I turned the wrong way for my girls. I didn't plan on the extra room I would need for my chest and I turned to the wall side.
My friend is a very well endowed genetic female. Her girls are women! 
She chuckled at my dilemma.
I try to be a fairly quick learner and found that if I turned to the microwave side, my girls had plenty of room to "clear" the much lower obstacle.
At this point, I will take all the help I can get!

Thursday, March 15, 2012

Trans Women Go Under the Knife.

A look at "Facial Feminization Surgery" recently was featured on ABC News. Here's the intro:
Sarah, now 50, came out as transgender but was still "being clocked" as male.
"You are walking through the mall and someone turns and says, 'Oh, my god, it's a man dressed as a woman,'" she said. "They figure it out."
But that rarely happens anymore. Thanks to facial feminization surgery in 2007, Sarah, not her real name, is living with the face she was believes she was supposed to be born with.
It was the first big step in her new life as a woman and in 2009, Sarah went on to have sex reassignment surgery."

That's the good news for most of us. The bad news is this: costs for the procedure can run into the tens of thousands of dollars. With little or no insurance coverage for the procedure, "FFS" is the impossible dream for someone like me.
Ironically, a natural form of "hormone replacement therapy"-age provides a different blurring of the genders and a glimmer of hope.

"Women become more masculine-looking as they get older, and Spiegel (the featured doctor) is also seeing an increase in interest in surgery among women who are not transgender.
"Why are some women more attractive than others?" he asked. "A big part is as women age and lose their fertility, they lose their femininity."
Their eyebrows descend and get flatter, their cheeks are less full, and with the jowls of aging, the tapers of the jaw disappear."

Unless the Veteran's Administration magically begins to approve this kind of surgery for transgendered vets such as myself, it certainly looks as if the magic of make up will be my best friend!

Life Begins at 40?

Check this transition video which began at 40!

Jaylo's Male Stunt Double!

The American Idol host headed to Mexico to film the vid and instead of hiring a female lookalike, J-Lo opted for a male stunt double who was J-Lo'd up to the hilt - complete with fake boobs and braided hair.
A tough job, but someone had to do it!

Transgendered Quick Sand

Over the history of this blog, no post has ever created the feed back that "Transgendered Mid Life Crisis?" did.

Of course there are those here on the blog as well in the transgender or transsexual community  for what ever reason disagree with waiting until midlife to come to grips with gender problems.
Here is yet another slightly different look from a reader:

"I truly know what you meant about gender quicksand. All my life I have tried to live as would be expected of a hetero-male. All the time knowing that something was out of kilter. As a young child I would always imitate female behavior, was left to care for my siblings during the day, and wore the hand-me-downs from my female cousins. Was made to go to elementary school wearing cotton panties, side zip pants, and colorful outerwear. It felt so natural, but brought-on a lot of teasing. At that age you don't understand gender bias. The teasing didn't bother me. I knew I was different and sort of withdrew into myself. I got along with girls much more than boys and further identified with them. As much as I wanted to be like them, I agonized over why I felt so different and began internalizing my feelings. This is the first time I have ever told anyone, not even my wife. I want to be set free to be who I am and live the rest of my life as I was meant to be."

Of course I have read and commiserated with so many transgendered, transsexual and cross dressers over the years especially with the growth of the Internet. With those of you who have thought enough of me to share your experiences truly humbles me.
The whole process has instilled in me how totally and completely nearly all of us have been in our lives living between the gender "rock and a hard place".

Through it all, these absolutes come to mind. The first is "nothing is as bad or as good as it seems". No matter what happens, look for the middle ground. The second is you have to carry your own rope if you are heading for the quicksand. At some point in time you are going to have to take it upon yourself to lasso a rock or tree limb to pull yourself out. You have to plan on it. These days there is so much info for trans women and trans men to claim ignorance.

Finally I have met so many of you who are literally hanging on to your lives for dear life and looking over a huge cliff. As a constant reminder, I have the "Golden Gate Bridge" pictured on my cell phone. It reminds me of the leap of faith I'm taking
Take care my friends, our landing can be softer than we think!

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

STOP The Presses!

The page where Jenna's profile appeared was withdrawn CLICK HERE!
In just 24 hours after Missosology.Org reported that Miss Universe Canada has accepted a transsexual in the name of Jenna Talackova, as one of their 2012 finalists, reactions, both pros and antis, spread like wildfire. While the comments are in form of healthy debate, something weird happened. The profile of Jenna is no longer available on the official Miss Universe Canada website. She was not also in the official list of finalists! What happened? Missosology is not so sure. Jenna today, contacted Missosology to change her photo in the forum. Meanwhile, we intend to contact the Miss Universe Canada Organization regarding the issue.
So, what do you think happened?
a.) Miss Universe Canada was duped in believing that Jenna is a woman
b.) Miss Universe Canada decided to kick her out because of the controversy that he/she created
c.) Jenna herself decided not to join

Here are some of the photos of Jenna sent to Missosology
Jenna Talackova

Canadians Like More Than Hockey!

"Miss Universe Canada has officially accepted Jenna Talackova, a transsexual, as a contestant in the upcoming finals in May 19. Jenna has already represented Canada at Miss International Queen, a beauty pageant for transsexuals. The fact that she was accepted as a contestant raised several ethical and moral issues but for some it is a sign of equality. Canada is one of the progressive nations on earth with a very liberal application of its Equality Law as enshrined in its 1982 constitution.
But many pageant fans are not happy with this. They see it as an affront to the establishment since contests like the Big4 (Miss Universe, Miss World, Miss International and Miss Earth) are meant for naturally born women. While we've seen lesbians competing at the state level as in the case of Miss California USA 2012, the current issue is far more controversial because this is about a person born as a man and converted himself into a woman.
Still, many see this as a sign of equality and of freedom. After all, Jenna is legally a woman. Supporters say this is about someone who pursue his or her dream and should not be discriminated against.
Then again too, there may be more than a few who are afraid of her winning!!!!

This story came from "MISSOSOLOGY

Thanks Bobbie!

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Spring Fashion Tips!

Head to the Cyrsti's Condo "Boutique" Page for fun fashion ideas for us "bigger girls"!
From "Betty Confidential.Com!"

A Rose Grows in India

From"IBN" in India comes yet another story about Rose Venkatesan who is:

"India's first transgender television host and radio jockey,. From Chennai,she said she was excited about the launch of her own political party with a dramatic agenda aimed at sensitizing people towards the plight of women and the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender community.
Venkatesan said she had big plans for her Sexual Liberation Party of India which she hoped to launch in the next two months. It would be the first party led by a transgender. But the going has been far from smooth. Since 2010, she has been in and out of jobs, faced sexual discrimination at the radio stations she has worked at and her mother refuses to talk to her.
"Not a lot has changed. I look more feminine now, I am more beautiful and I attract a lot more proposals from men, but society is still the same," she said with a laugh. "Of course, none of the men who want to date me would do it in the open and no one ever proposes marriage," (Sound familiar?)
 Venkatesan,  is now a biological  woman after her sex change operation.

New Video

Check "Eileen Fisher's" video in Cyrsti's Condo's Home Entertainment Center!
This next video "Crossdresser Pin Up Montage" is so much fun, I decided to leave it here!

Future Transsexual Olympic Star?

I'm sure you may remember the story of "Lindsay Walker". Her story went public several months ago of how the 7' basketball player is changing her gender.
Most of you I do follow sports closely and I almost was smart enough to wonder if "Lindsay" would ever be allowed to play women's hoops.
Supposedly she is aiming to work out for the 2016 Rio Olympics U.S. women's basketball team.
Anyway you look at it, that would be quite the story.
Regardless of all the sensationalism of a potential transgendered basketball star, "Lindsay" describes it best herself:
"I know there are others like me out there, who are very tall, and because of that they're afraid to come out,' she said.

'It is harder for them to pass as a woman. I want those girls to see me, that I'm seven-foot tall and I'm not afraid to be who I am.

'I feel like the record would convey that message better than my story alone."

Well said!
"Lindsay Walker"

Finding your Happy Place

From the Jessie Hart Archives   As a transgender woman or trans man, it is often very difficult to find your happy place. A happy place can ...