Sunday, March 18, 2012

Missing the "Golden Years"?

Recently we have discussed starting transitioning into a trans woman or man in mid life.
Andrej Pejic
We have gone through the pain of telling others and the extreme possibility of losing everything we have worked for.
Let's forget all of that and get a bit more shallow.
Society tells us consistently a woman's "golden years" come earlier in life. Sure, as the "baby boomer" generation has aged and cosmetic surgery has progressed many "older" women are still very attractive.
Still, for the majority of females the most attractive years of their life are in their youth. Come on, what do you think Andrej Pejic is going to look like at 50 after 40 years on a water diet?    
Doesn't matter. The average transgendered individual misses all of it. Recapturing any of that time period for a transitioning trans woman later in life remains largely a fantasy. All of those long years of a rough male life is mostly non reversible for those of us without the financial resources to do it. Even some of those with the resources can't- from some of the pictures I've seen.
A blog I always read and reference on occasion is "Janie's" Not long ago she wrote a post concerning the number of pictures one sees of cross dressers in supposedly exotic feminine attire. Basically she was asking what were they thinking? I agree, the majority look ridiculous to the point of hurting the transgendered culture. The sad part is that some of the girls look better with their clothes on.
Perhaps you noticed I used the word "cross dresser"- on purpose. I understand the layers of our community include cross dressers and fetishists too and the people who have the interest in viewing them. Perhaps many of these pictures come from individuals who never plan on being any part of a transgender female. OR-
Maybe what we are seeing is one of us trying vainly to recapture something they probably never had.
Sure I have a strong sense of envy when I see an attractive young transgender girl. (But I certainly can't dress like one!)
As I've written more than once, I would have rather been on the sidelines in a short cheerleader's skirt than the football uniform I was wearing.
Realistically there is no return to those days for us so the next best thing for many is a shortcut. Forget the long and often very difficult process of presenting as a well groomed attractive middle aged woman.  Just take a load of pictures in bra and panties, toss them on the web and someone will like them.
Then there are those who take what they have and tell society to get over it. See my post "Transgendered Activism"). Those trans women are the true heroines of our culture.
Finally, all is not bleak for those of who have the opportunity to transition in mid life.
Natural hormone therapy does have a tendency to blur the genders. Men are less masculine and women less feminine. This time of our lives presents the best window of opportunity to express our chosen gender to the public since childhood before puberty.
Also, positive media attention is at an all time high for transgendered and transsexual men and women. Public reaction is becoming less of a shock.  Trans women and men are becoming  just another segment of society and some people respect our resolve to live our life as we see it and others could care less.
Finally, one of my pet theories is the emergence of mid to late life partners no matter how you identify.
A whole different post I'm still trying to work on was started from a comment I received from a friend. It seemed her wife loved her bi-gendered nature but in a male form. I believe our dual gendered nature will begin to play increasing well with women who have never been successful with a so called traditional male. This idea also includes trans men. All of a sudden a rather unconventional relationship possibility begins to look increasingly favorable.
Now, reverse the situation and say you prefer a man. Social networking and other sites have made that possible too.
It seems easier to look forward these days as a transgendered woman or man. Two things are for sure. You can't reverse time and begin a transition when your body was more workable and your life will change dramatically with your gender. But!
The nice possibility is the gender jump off the cliff could produce a softer landing than ever imagined.
Now, there are those pictures? Really?

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