Since it is our local Cincinnati Transgender Day of Visibility, perhaps it's time to discuss what visibility really means.
Many would consider me to be really visible since I live full time as a trans woman. Sometimes I am and sometimes I am not. When and if I am successful in blending in seamlessly as a woman in society, I am not visible at all. Then, at other times I am in and out of another person's reality so quickly, I am barely visible to them either. Maybe later they think there maybe have been something a little off kilter with their encounter with me. By that time though, I am long gone from their reality.
How about you though? Can you be visible and still be in your closet? Sure you can. Maybe you bide your time and support silently pro LGBTQ political candidates and laws. Who knows when you will need them? Plus, what about the gender fluid kids who are new in the system, they need our help.
Finally, is the church you go to anti gay and transgender or do you still support businesses such as Chick - Fil - A or Hobby Lobby who are actively involved in erasing our very existence.
You see, there is plenty to do to stay visible even though you may not be in the public's eye.
Sunday, March 31, 2019
Saturday, March 30, 2019
Endo Appointment
Hopefully, I am not expecting a whole lot of drama. I think I might ask to have my estrodial increased a little bit which I don't think she (the nurse practitioner) will do until she sees a new set of blood labs. But I will still try.
I have written before how I think I have pretty much "hit the wall" with my feminization process. I believe too, with the time I have been on HRT (approx. five years) I could have reached my maximum expectations as far as feminization goes.
It's my personality though to keep asking for more. Primarily in my hips. I also think my overall body hair has made a slight rebound which of course I don't want.
Actually, I am just whining and I think this is all coming along according to plan and I know too the whole process can take up to seven years. I know also, much is dependent on me to lose a few pounds again before summer to give me a better overall figure in a couple of my fave form fitting maxi dresses.
I will let you know how it all goes.
Friday, March 29, 2019
Are Genetic Females Women?
This Cyrsti's Condo post was actually from 2013 but I thought it was still relevant today:
Recently on one of the thousand of television shows I watch, I heard the comment "She's a female but that doesn't make her a woman" Unless I was missing something, a genetic woman said it. So true it is.
Since that time, I have been bouncing around the idea of another post in my noggin called "Are Genetic Women Human Too?"
Let's see if I can toss them both into the Cyrsti's Condo kitchen blender and see if anything good comes out.
The last time I looked both genders are human! I knew all that college biology I almost flunked would come back to help me! YAY! OK, back to the blender. Females aren't necessarily women but yes they are still human. Now, lets toss in some spices from our culture. Both are fairly rare, so we may have to use a lot!
The first spice is a little gritty and comes from the base of a pedestal. As I jump around the never never land of the Internet, I still am dazzled by the sisters in my culture who hoist females up on a pedestal for worship purposes. Certainly females are the "keepers of the flame" currently in our race because of their birthing ability. Past that kids, the days of wives in suburbia living fairy tale lives are gone and females are out in the world competing hard to make it. But if want to put them in your bubble bath world- that's cool. This is a large pedestal so the little bit of it we use won't affect it's stability.
The second spice is also so very rare and maybe a little sweet if you find it. The spice is the very mystical "if I could find a woman to show me "the ropes" of a feminine existence, I could shortcut the real learning process, and get to the "promised land."
As you could tell, I may be a tad jaded in my assessment of the spices needed so I'm going to add an extra helping of chocolate to flavor our drink.
Now, unless you are as scattered as I am, you need a bit of translation. Very simply female is a birth issue, woman is a lifestyle choice. The same as being born male but your transgender noggin is screaming NO! Secondly, females or women do come from another planet than men but it is not the pink warm and fuzzy world you put up on a pedestal and proclaim undying loyalty to. And finally, there are a few of the magical mystery women willing to take you to the other side. You may live with one and bless her heart! Unfortunately from my perch here in the "web-o-sphere" the spousal response I hear most about is "Take your dresses and the next sound you will hear will be from my divorce lawyer."
So there you go. I hope you enjoyed your beverage. On occasion I try to "bundle" several thoughts and tie them in with feedback I get here in Cyrsti's Condo and a couple other places I participate in. The final parting thought I can leave you with is: the next time you are out and feeling really insecure about yourself as a woman-take heart, there could be plenty of females around you feeling the same about themselves.
Now have some class and quit making noise sucking on that straw!
Recently on one of the thousand of television shows I watch, I heard the comment "She's a female but that doesn't make her a woman" Unless I was missing something, a genetic woman said it. So true it is.
Since that time, I have been bouncing around the idea of another post in my noggin called "Are Genetic Women Human Too?"
Let's see if I can toss them both into the Cyrsti's Condo kitchen blender and see if anything good comes out.
The last time I looked both genders are human! I knew all that college biology I almost flunked would come back to help me! YAY! OK, back to the blender. Females aren't necessarily women but yes they are still human. Now, lets toss in some spices from our culture. Both are fairly rare, so we may have to use a lot!
The first spice is a little gritty and comes from the base of a pedestal. As I jump around the never never land of the Internet, I still am dazzled by the sisters in my culture who hoist females up on a pedestal for worship purposes. Certainly females are the "keepers of the flame" currently in our race because of their birthing ability. Past that kids, the days of wives in suburbia living fairy tale lives are gone and females are out in the world competing hard to make it. But if want to put them in your bubble bath world- that's cool. This is a large pedestal so the little bit of it we use won't affect it's stability.
The second spice is also so very rare and maybe a little sweet if you find it. The spice is the very mystical "if I could find a woman to show me "the ropes" of a feminine existence, I could shortcut the real learning process, and get to the "promised land."
As you could tell, I may be a tad jaded in my assessment of the spices needed so I'm going to add an extra helping of chocolate to flavor our drink.
Now, unless you are as scattered as I am, you need a bit of translation. Very simply female is a birth issue, woman is a lifestyle choice. The same as being born male but your transgender noggin is screaming NO! Secondly, females or women do come from another planet than men but it is not the pink warm and fuzzy world you put up on a pedestal and proclaim undying loyalty to. And finally, there are a few of the magical mystery women willing to take you to the other side. You may live with one and bless her heart! Unfortunately from my perch here in the "web-o-sphere" the spousal response I hear most about is "Take your dresses and the next sound you will hear will be from my divorce lawyer."
So there you go. I hope you enjoyed your beverage. On occasion I try to "bundle" several thoughts and tie them in with feedback I get here in Cyrsti's Condo and a couple other places I participate in. The final parting thought I can leave you with is: the next time you are out and feeling really insecure about yourself as a woman-take heart, there could be plenty of females around you feeling the same about themselves.
Now have some class and quit making noise sucking on that straw!
Thursday, March 28, 2019
How Quiet Can it Be?
I am looking ahead to another fairly quiet weekend. Except for Sunday.
This Sunday is the Transgender Day of Visibility in Cincinnati and we (Liz and I) plan on going to it. The weather is supposed to be chilly but fairly clear, so it will be interesting to see how many people show up. More interesting perhaps will be the number of sponsoring entities who set up.
I have written before, the professional baseball team (in a good year) is playing a few blocks away from the event, so it will be interesting how many people get scared away. One way or another, I look for a fairly good turnout. Plus, all the cross dressers in their heels may not want to walk the amount of distance it will take to get to the event location around a big downtown fountain.
Also, I have not totally ruled out Saturday night. It
is always a possibility for a social event too. The cross dresser who has had this huge crush on Liz has seemingly found another lust object, so the invitations may be on the decrease.
What a shame! :)
This Sunday is the Transgender Day of Visibility in Cincinnati and we (Liz and I) plan on going to it. The weather is supposed to be chilly but fairly clear, so it will be interesting to see how many people show up. More interesting perhaps will be the number of sponsoring entities who set up.
I have written before, the professional baseball team (in a good year) is playing a few blocks away from the event, so it will be interesting how many people get scared away. One way or another, I look for a fairly good turnout. Plus, all the cross dressers in their heels may not want to walk the amount of distance it will take to get to the event location around a big downtown fountain.Also, I have not totally ruled out Saturday night. It
is always a possibility for a social event too. The cross dresser who has had this huge crush on Liz has seemingly found another lust object, so the invitations may be on the decrease.
What a shame! :)
Wednesday, March 27, 2019
Don't be a Heroine
No matter how you figure it, just being a woman and losing your male privilege can bring possible safety problems. I have written a number of times here in Cyrsti's Condo about potential problems I ran (or walked) into as I began to transgender into a more feminine lifestyle. Very quickly, I was corned at a party by huge admirer and had to be bailed out by my deceased wife. The other happened late at night on an urban downtown sidewalk in front of a gay venue. Both were really ill advised but I managed to escape unscathed with a new admiration for what women go through. I hitched up my big girl panties and always asked for help in getting to my car.
How this post came about though mainly comes from my group's moderator calling a bigoted hater an ass when he called her an "it" and a freak. This all came in a bar and very easily could have resulted in creased violence to her (the moderator). Finally, it all finished up with him being arrested and being barred from the pub. She was lucky and the band even stopped briefly to see if she was alright.
Another person with a background in entertaining the public in a band in bars is Connie. Here is one of her experiences which came in reference to my post "Back in the Day."
"Speaking of "back in the day," I remember one time (mid-seventies) when I observed a disagreement - turned knife fight - in a bar, as I was playing music on the stage. We didn't stop playing, though, even as the EMTs came in to care for the guy lying in a pool of blood. Like with the band on the sinking Titanic, we were urged, by the manager, to keep playing - as if everything were normal. We learned, later, that the stabbing victim had been pronounced DOA. This whole event has been etched into my mind, and, although I keep it in the back, I know that it has come to the front every time I have had to deal with some jerk who has a problem with my gender status. I would never take it for granted that anyone else would step up or step in to protect me, so I do my best to keep negative confrontations from escalating. I want to ensure that my music keep going, after all".
Self preservation should always be our goal! I know in my case, HRT has taken a toll on my old body anyhow and I better be able to get out of situations with my wits not my brawn. Which any woman learns at a young age anyhow.
As I said earlier, I was fortunate to learn it all tje relatively easy way!
How this post came about though mainly comes from my group's moderator calling a bigoted hater an ass when he called her an "it" and a freak. This all came in a bar and very easily could have resulted in creased violence to her (the moderator). Finally, it all finished up with him being arrested and being barred from the pub. She was lucky and the band even stopped briefly to see if she was alright.
Another person with a background in entertaining the public in a band in bars is Connie. Here is one of her experiences which came in reference to my post "Back in the Day."
"Speaking of "back in the day," I remember one time (mid-seventies) when I observed a disagreement - turned knife fight - in a bar, as I was playing music on the stage. We didn't stop playing, though, even as the EMTs came in to care for the guy lying in a pool of blood. Like with the band on the sinking Titanic, we were urged, by the manager, to keep playing - as if everything were normal. We learned, later, that the stabbing victim had been pronounced DOA. This whole event has been etched into my mind, and, although I keep it in the back, I know that it has come to the front every time I have had to deal with some jerk who has a problem with my gender status. I would never take it for granted that anyone else would step up or step in to protect me, so I do my best to keep negative confrontations from escalating. I want to ensure that my music keep going, after all".
Self preservation should always be our goal! I know in my case, HRT has taken a toll on my old body anyhow and I better be able to get out of situations with my wits not my brawn. Which any woman learns at a young age anyhow.
As I said earlier, I was fortunate to learn it all tje relatively easy way!
Tuesday, March 26, 2019
"Back in the Day"
At last night's transgender - cross dresser support group meeting (as predicted), I had to go "back in the day" to remind the predominately younger group of how difficult it was to even be a transvestite. As you may or may not remember, back in the fifties and into the early sixties in some places, it was a crime to even be caught dressing as a woman (if you were a man) in public. I also brought up the days before Al Gore invented the internet and how in the dark our closets became. In fact, another of one of the older attendee's mentioned the days of combing through the local library only to find a book on cross dressing, then be afraid to be seen reading it.
Indeed things are better for the average trans or cross dressing person in today's society. Even the moderator commented after her glowing remarks about going to the Pennsylvania "Keystone Conference" last week that her ugly encounter with the gender bigot actually finished with a positive experience. It seems, even the band stopped to make sure everything was fine with her.
Being the bitch that I am sometimes, I added an experience shared with me by my hairdresser with the transgender son. He is fourteen and was in the middle of his first serious relationship with a cis-girl. Everything was fine until her Mother got involved and broke them up by using the religion card. I can think of nothing worse since where they live is also where the "Leelah Alcorn" tragedy
happened. Leelah was the teenage transgender girl who committed suicide several years ago by stepping out in front of a semi truck on a local interstate. All because her parents wouldn't accept her...mainly for strict religious reasons.
A tragic end to such a young life.
Other than all of that, the meeting moved along well and Jennifer from Oregon was actually back for a second meeting.
It all ended on a humorous note when several of the group volunteered to take her out for a "Cincinnati Three Way." If you didn't know, Cincy is known for it's highly unique Greek/Armenian
chili. A "Three Way" is chili with spaghetti and onions. I hope she enjoyed it!
Finally, leave it to Connie to come up with this:"So, are you the Obi-Wanda-Kenobi of the support group? "
I guess so!
Indeed things are better for the average trans or cross dressing person in today's society. Even the moderator commented after her glowing remarks about going to the Pennsylvania "Keystone Conference" last week that her ugly encounter with the gender bigot actually finished with a positive experience. It seems, even the band stopped to make sure everything was fine with her.
Being the bitch that I am sometimes, I added an experience shared with me by my hairdresser with the transgender son. He is fourteen and was in the middle of his first serious relationship with a cis-girl. Everything was fine until her Mother got involved and broke them up by using the religion card. I can think of nothing worse since where they live is also where the "Leelah Alcorn" tragedy
 |
| Leelah Alcorn |
A tragic end to such a young life.
Other than all of that, the meeting moved along well and Jennifer from Oregon was actually back for a second meeting.
It all ended on a humorous note when several of the group volunteered to take her out for a "Cincinnati Three Way." If you didn't know, Cincy is known for it's highly unique Greek/Armenian
chili. A "Three Way" is chili with spaghetti and onions. I hope she enjoyed it!
Finally, leave it to Connie to come up with this:"So, are you the Obi-Wanda-Kenobi of the support group? "
I guess so!
Monday, March 25, 2019
Support?
Tonight is the transgender - cross dresser support group meeting I go to on a regular basis. Usually when I go, I wonder what imaginable support I could give anybody. Then I started to realize I can lend a helping hand with the occasional comment and by just being there. Normally, I am considered the "elder" in the group and can add insight into how life was for trans people even before there was such a term.
I hope too, some of my insights may mean something but who knows. Perhaps I am doing it as much for me as I am for others. After all, one of my reasons for starting Cyrsti's Condo at all, was to pay forward any of my experiences which could be beneficial to anyone else.
Changing the subject, yesterday turned out to be an interesting day too. The day itself could only be described as a "raw" day. Chilly, windy and gray with very light misty rain. In the middle of it all, here our little group was huddled in a local park picnic shelter discussing the Cincinnati Witches Ball Halloween party.
At the last meeting, I asked if the leader of the group needed help setting up our usual table at Pride this June. My answer came yesterday when she slammed a couple pieces of paper down in front of me and said since I wanted to do Pride, here it was. She was so angry and stressed, she ended up quitting the group a short time later. So now, since I opened my mouth before, I am in charge of our Pride booth. It's not that big of a deal if I can get the paper work and/or promotional materials we always use.
I should have learned along time ago, don't open your mouth and volunteer, unless you want to be accepted. Besides, I always have such a great time at Pride!
I hope too, some of my insights may mean something but who knows. Perhaps I am doing it as much for me as I am for others. After all, one of my reasons for starting Cyrsti's Condo at all, was to pay forward any of my experiences which could be beneficial to anyone else.
Changing the subject, yesterday turned out to be an interesting day too. The day itself could only be described as a "raw" day. Chilly, windy and gray with very light misty rain. In the middle of it all, here our little group was huddled in a local park picnic shelter discussing the Cincinnati Witches Ball Halloween party.
At the last meeting, I asked if the leader of the group needed help setting up our usual table at Pride this June. My answer came yesterday when she slammed a couple pieces of paper down in front of me and said since I wanted to do Pride, here it was. She was so angry and stressed, she ended up quitting the group a short time later. So now, since I opened my mouth before, I am in charge of our Pride booth. It's not that big of a deal if I can get the paper work and/or promotional materials we always use.
I should have learned along time ago, don't open your mouth and volunteer, unless you want to be accepted. Besides, I always have such a great time at Pride!
Sunday, March 24, 2019
"Mom" Returns
Not my Mom, if she returned from the great beyond, it would be bigger news. This post is about meeting up with the woman who you might recall, harassed me a couple times about my hair. I made the comment at the time, she reminded me of how my Mom would have approached me.
Fortunately this time, I just had my trip to my hair dresser Friday, so visually I was ready for her.
When Liz and I arrived at the outside shelter house near a nearby lake, it didn't take her long to approach me. To her credit, she was very positive about my hair which indeed made me feel better about our relationship.
Then, she asked could she tell me something and I thought now what? She paused and said how proud she was of me for living the life I wanted to. I was taken totally off guard. Finally I managed to blurt out the truth...I appreciated her acceptance but my choice didn't come out of bravery or anything like it. I literally didn't have the chance to be brave, it was either change my life or lose it.
A day later as I look back on her comment though, I feel now as if I finally found a sense of peace with my long deceased Mom. Whose approval is what I really wanted.
Thanks to my new Mom, Monika.
Fortunately this time, I just had my trip to my hair dresser Friday, so visually I was ready for her.
When Liz and I arrived at the outside shelter house near a nearby lake, it didn't take her long to approach me. To her credit, she was very positive about my hair which indeed made me feel better about our relationship.
Then, she asked could she tell me something and I thought now what? She paused and said how proud she was of me for living the life I wanted to. I was taken totally off guard. Finally I managed to blurt out the truth...I appreciated her acceptance but my choice didn't come out of bravery or anything like it. I literally didn't have the chance to be brave, it was either change my life or lose it.
A day later as I look back on her comment though, I feel now as if I finally found a sense of peace with my long deceased Mom. Whose approval is what I really wanted.
Thanks to my new Mom, Monika.
Saturday, March 23, 2019
The End to a Gender Transition?
At my hairdresser yesterday, she asked me a question her transgender son brought up...does a transgender transition ever end. Her son felt as if it would never stop primarily because he would have to take hormones for the rest of his life. I agreed with that plus added in for me I wondered if my Trans-PTSD would ever go away.
An example happened today. Being Saturday, I went with Liz to two of her martial arts classes and went to the grocery store. Going into today and still loving my latest hair do, I thought I was doing my best to look good.
It must have worked, because everywhere I went, I didn't have any problems. Well, actually, I did have a problem, myself. No matter how hard I tried, once again I couldn't relax and live in the moment. All of a sudden, I was no better off than when I was a beginning cross dresser so many years ago.
I still don't know how long it will take for it to ever go away. Perhaps it never will. Maybe living all those years as a guy will always imprint me.
An example happened today. Being Saturday, I went with Liz to two of her martial arts classes and went to the grocery store. Going into today and still loving my latest hair do, I thought I was doing my best to look good.
It must have worked, because everywhere I went, I didn't have any problems. Well, actually, I did have a problem, myself. No matter how hard I tried, once again I couldn't relax and live in the moment. All of a sudden, I was no better off than when I was a beginning cross dresser so many years ago.
I still don't know how long it will take for it to ever go away. Perhaps it never will. Maybe living all those years as a guy will always imprint me.
Friday, March 22, 2019
A Quiet Week Turns Busy!
It turns out when I was laying out my week's worth of activities, I left out two important ones.
Thursday night was Liz and I's monthly visit to one of the cross dresser-transgender social club's dinner meetings. It's held in a pleasant little restaurant across the river in Newport, Kentucky which features (among other items) a very good bison burger. What I like about it too is the noise level is low enough you can have conversations with more than one person.
A smaller than average group showed up, normally, it is well over twenty. Last night it down to around twelve. Not much out of the ordinary happened except one cross dresser bragging about a licensed concealed weapon she was carrying. The same cross dresser who managed to mis gender another cross dresser at the end of the table twice.
Mention was made concerning the Cincinnati Transgender Day of Visibility. Which will be here before we know it on March 31st.
This morning was one of my favorite appointments, my hair dresser. As you may or may not remember, she is the one with the teenage transgender son. As always, the time went all too quickly and she made my hair look great.
This is an older picture which closely approximates the way it looks.
Along the way, we chatted about how HRT was effecting me and why I looked better since the last time she saw me. I explained part of it was because I was wearing form fitting leggings and a light weight pastel blue sweater. Both of which are capable of showing off more of a feminine figure without any kind of padding. For whatever reason, I have always preferred a more natural feel and wearing the minimum of under garments. Finally, my hormones are beginning to shape me into having hips of my own.
Unfortunately, she told me the story of how her son (a 14 year old) had his heart broken when he lost his girl friend. Because he was trans and because of her Mother of course. So sad.
The topic led us right into politics and all too soon, the end of a wonderful hour of my life.
Thursday night was Liz and I's monthly visit to one of the cross dresser-transgender social club's dinner meetings. It's held in a pleasant little restaurant across the river in Newport, Kentucky which features (among other items) a very good bison burger. What I like about it too is the noise level is low enough you can have conversations with more than one person.
A smaller than average group showed up, normally, it is well over twenty. Last night it down to around twelve. Not much out of the ordinary happened except one cross dresser bragging about a licensed concealed weapon she was carrying. The same cross dresser who managed to mis gender another cross dresser at the end of the table twice.
Mention was made concerning the Cincinnati Transgender Day of Visibility. Which will be here before we know it on March 31st.
This morning was one of my favorite appointments, my hair dresser. As you may or may not remember, she is the one with the teenage transgender son. As always, the time went all too quickly and she made my hair look great.
 |
| Necklace by "Liz T Designs" |
This is an older picture which closely approximates the way it looks.
Along the way, we chatted about how HRT was effecting me and why I looked better since the last time she saw me. I explained part of it was because I was wearing form fitting leggings and a light weight pastel blue sweater. Both of which are capable of showing off more of a feminine figure without any kind of padding. For whatever reason, I have always preferred a more natural feel and wearing the minimum of under garments. Finally, my hormones are beginning to shape me into having hips of my own.
Unfortunately, she told me the story of how her son (a 14 year old) had his heart broken when he lost his girl friend. Because he was trans and because of her Mother of course. So sad.
The topic led us right into politics and all too soon, the end of a wonderful hour of my life.
Thursday, March 21, 2019
The Moderator
As you regulars may have noticed, I spend a lot of time here in Cyrsti's Condo posting feelings concerning what the "moderator" is up to. I suppose much of it is because I don't fully understand her feelings or I just need something to write about. In the past several months, she has dazzled me with her comments on diverse subjects as gender dysphoria, single handily trying to break the anti LGBTQ sentiment at Chick-Fil-A ...all the way to believing the whole world is a rosy place for transgender women and men to live. Even though, I don't understand or agree with her on occasion, at least she doesn't lack for opinions.
And, speaking of opinions, here is Connie:
"I find it very hard to believe that a trans woman could avoid gender dysphoria and public scrutiny, especially if she's gone so far as to take on the responsibility of being a moderator for a trans support group. She should, at least, know that the vast majority of us have suffered these things. How lucky she had been to never have had any negative experiences until just recently.
Very few of us have complete passing privilege. I've often thought that those who do pass as a woman, without scrutiny, must have had a tough time presenting as a man. I would think that they probably got picked on and bullied for being perceived as a wimp or gay.
I remember the ads in the back of comic books, portraying the 96 pound weakling getting sand kicked in his face at the beach. If you bought their product, you'd be all muscles by the end of the summer, and you could get your revenge. At age 11, I was about 96 pounds, but not necessarily a weakling for my age. I was, however, quite adept at transforming myself, with the help of my mother's clothes, wig, and makeup, into a fairly passable young woman (even if not a passable eleven-year-old girl). By the time I was thirteen, though, testosterone had started its evil, and my frame, hands, and musculature began making me less passable as a woman. There was no option available for me in 1962 to suppress the testosterone, let alone access to HRT. I know now that I would have done whatever I had to in order to avail myself of such. Instead, my puberty brought on a giant dose of dysphoria, as I publicly (and "publicly") worked to show myself as the "after photo" in the comic book ad, while still engineering opportunities for allowing my femininity to shine. I recall envying not only the girls, but also the boys who
apparently hadn't yet started puberty. A small number of those boys never really developed a "manly" body, but it's probably about the same chance of one out of 450 that any of them would have been trans. I would estimate, then, that the chance of a trans woman completely passing (naturally) would be no better than one in 50,000. Even though these very few could easily pass as a woman, living as the 96 pound weakling man could be awfully rough.
Being a transgender woman is a no-win proposition. No matter how well you pass as a woman, there's no escaping the fact that you were born biologically male. Even if you manage to avoid "detection" most (or even all) of the time, you will not be able to erase it from your own mind. I have always been my own worst critic, so there's not much anyone else could say to me that I hadn't already considered of myself. With it being such a rarity that a trans woman could have no dysphoria and also avoid even a disparaging word from a transphobic ass in a bar, I would say that the moderator's luck apparently had a much longer run than most of us have had. Rather than adding to the escalation, though, I would suggest only responding by telling the offender that their opinion of me is none of my business, so would they please keep it to themselves"
In all fairness to the "moderator", she took the job when the group was on the verge of collapse. .She also is an upgrade from a couple highly poiitical (amd slightly bigoted) transgender women who ran it in the past.
And, speaking of opinions, here is Connie:
"I find it very hard to believe that a trans woman could avoid gender dysphoria and public scrutiny, especially if she's gone so far as to take on the responsibility of being a moderator for a trans support group. She should, at least, know that the vast majority of us have suffered these things. How lucky she had been to never have had any negative experiences until just recently.
Very few of us have complete passing privilege. I've often thought that those who do pass as a woman, without scrutiny, must have had a tough time presenting as a man. I would think that they probably got picked on and bullied for being perceived as a wimp or gay.
I remember the ads in the back of comic books, portraying the 96 pound weakling getting sand kicked in his face at the beach. If you bought their product, you'd be all muscles by the end of the summer, and you could get your revenge. At age 11, I was about 96 pounds, but not necessarily a weakling for my age. I was, however, quite adept at transforming myself, with the help of my mother's clothes, wig, and makeup, into a fairly passable young woman (even if not a passable eleven-year-old girl). By the time I was thirteen, though, testosterone had started its evil, and my frame, hands, and musculature began making me less passable as a woman. There was no option available for me in 1962 to suppress the testosterone, let alone access to HRT. I know now that I would have done whatever I had to in order to avail myself of such. Instead, my puberty brought on a giant dose of dysphoria, as I publicly (and "publicly") worked to show myself as the "after photo" in the comic book ad, while still engineering opportunities for allowing my femininity to shine. I recall envying not only the girls, but also the boys who
Being a transgender woman is a no-win proposition. No matter how well you pass as a woman, there's no escaping the fact that you were born biologically male. Even if you manage to avoid "detection" most (or even all) of the time, you will not be able to erase it from your own mind. I have always been my own worst critic, so there's not much anyone else could say to me that I hadn't already considered of myself. With it being such a rarity that a trans woman could have no dysphoria and also avoid even a disparaging word from a transphobic ass in a bar, I would say that the moderator's luck apparently had a much longer run than most of us have had. Rather than adding to the escalation, though, I would suggest only responding by telling the offender that their opinion of me is none of my business, so would they please keep it to themselves"
In all fairness to the "moderator", she took the job when the group was on the verge of collapse. .She also is an upgrade from a couple highly poiitical (amd slightly bigoted) transgender women who ran it in the past.
Wednesday, March 20, 2019
Karma?
I have written here in Cyrsti's Condo concerning the moderator of one of my cross dresser - transgender support groups. Primarily, she has a relatively cavalier attitude of how trans people in general aren't having any problems with the public. Her views went against a couple transgender women in the group who specifically were fired from their jobs for being trans.
Several times, I felt she was just looking for compliments on how well she presented. Plus, she was bragging how she could go anywhere except perhaps a biker bar without consequences.
Life changed for her Sunday night when reality set in. She was meeting a couple other trans/ cross dressing friends at a bar when they encountered a transphobic group sitting next to them at the bar. Words were exchanged including "freaks" and "it." The jerk even tried to take a picture.
The good news was she held her ground and called the guy an "ass" to his face and ultimately even got him kicked out of the venue. Fortunately, she had been going there for literally years and had built up a great amount of good will. On the other hand, the "ass" ended up getting arrested.
The moral to the story, I guess, is we never know when the ugly head of trans-phobia will raise up and temporarily ruin our life.
On the other hand we can win the battle when we are able to stand up for ourselves but all too often, bodily harm is a real threat.
Plus, I am sure the moderator has changed her idea of "universal" transgender acceptance. The challenge continues. Of course much is effected by the amount of "passing privilege" one has. An example is the moderator has quite a bit of privilege but her friends, not so much. None of that should matter but it still does. Saturday night, essentially the same group was the recipient of two bottles of wine from a neighboring table while Sunday the dreaded "freak and it" words were used.
I have my own cases of transgender "PTSD", maybe the moderator is building hers now too. Unfortunately karma still exists in our world.
Several times, I felt she was just looking for compliments on how well she presented. Plus, she was bragging how she could go anywhere except perhaps a biker bar without consequences.
Life changed for her Sunday night when reality set in. She was meeting a couple other trans/ cross dressing friends at a bar when they encountered a transphobic group sitting next to them at the bar. Words were exchanged including "freaks" and "it." The jerk even tried to take a picture.
The good news was she held her ground and called the guy an "ass" to his face and ultimately even got him kicked out of the venue. Fortunately, she had been going there for literally years and had built up a great amount of good will. On the other hand, the "ass" ended up getting arrested.
The moral to the story, I guess, is we never know when the ugly head of trans-phobia will raise up and temporarily ruin our life.
On the other hand we can win the battle when we are able to stand up for ourselves but all too often, bodily harm is a real threat.
Plus, I am sure the moderator has changed her idea of "universal" transgender acceptance. The challenge continues. Of course much is effected by the amount of "passing privilege" one has. An example is the moderator has quite a bit of privilege but her friends, not so much. None of that should matter but it still does. Saturday night, essentially the same group was the recipient of two bottles of wine from a neighboring table while Sunday the dreaded "freak and it" words were used.
I have my own cases of transgender "PTSD", maybe the moderator is building hers now too. Unfortunately karma still exists in our world.
Tuesday, March 19, 2019
Transphobia and the Social Media
Here recently, I read about a local landscape company which rejected a transgender woman at their store.
Fortunately, the incident was reported by another on a social media platform so all could be aware. I was surprised the whole incident was written about by the son (not trans) of our cross dresser - transgender support group moderator. The same one who still eats at Chick-Fil-A. I wonder now, or ever, if she will see the hypocrisy of still supporting them.
On the other hand, she will probably mention the case of the local bar owner who experienced problems from other patrons when a trans woman used the restroom. After being mentioned as being a transphobic venue on a social media post, the owner apologized and ended potential problems with a simple fix...installing a lock.
Like it or nor, it all shows the power these days of a social media post.
Fortunately, the incident was reported by another on a social media platform so all could be aware. I was surprised the whole incident was written about by the son (not trans) of our cross dresser - transgender support group moderator. The same one who still eats at Chick-Fil-A. I wonder now, or ever, if she will see the hypocrisy of still supporting them.
On the other hand, she will probably mention the case of the local bar owner who experienced problems from other patrons when a trans woman used the restroom. After being mentioned as being a transphobic venue on a social media post, the owner apologized and ended potential problems with a simple fix...installing a lock.
Like it or nor, it all shows the power these days of a social media post.
Monday, March 18, 2019
A Quiet Week
Not much happening this week. I have chosen not to make the one hundred plus mile journey in mostly rush hour traffic to my Veteran's Administration LGBT support group meeting. They are just going to have to make it without me.
Sometime this week I am going to have to reserve our hotel room for the Trans Ohio Symposium. I still haven't heard back yet on my workshop proposal on Mtf gender dysphoria. A friend of mine is making her second trip to the "Keystone Conference", A Celebration of Gender Diversity, next week in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania. As a sidelight, the LGBT group I am part of here in Cincinnati is thinking of starting it's own regional conference. Which is quite a bit of work! In a previous life, I was a big part of bringing a state service club convention to my old hometown.
Also this week, I am going to have to quit procrastinating and schedule my mammogram which my Doctor's have wanted me to get done since January. I better schedule it before my Endocrinologist appointment in early April, so I won't catch any extra trouble.
Finally, we supposedly have another Cincinnati Witches Ball meeting coming up. The last one was so rough with in fighting, I just wonder if the whole thing will collapse. We will see.
I hope you all have a good week!
Sometime this week I am going to have to reserve our hotel room for the Trans Ohio Symposium. I still haven't heard back yet on my workshop proposal on Mtf gender dysphoria. A friend of mine is making her second trip to the "Keystone Conference", A Celebration of Gender Diversity, next week in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania. As a sidelight, the LGBT group I am part of here in Cincinnati is thinking of starting it's own regional conference. Which is quite a bit of work! In a previous life, I was a big part of bringing a state service club convention to my old hometown.
Also this week, I am going to have to quit procrastinating and schedule my mammogram which my Doctor's have wanted me to get done since January. I better schedule it before my Endocrinologist appointment in early April, so I won't catch any extra trouble.
Finally, we supposedly have another Cincinnati Witches Ball meeting coming up. The last one was so rough with in fighting, I just wonder if the whole thing will collapse. We will see.
I hope you all have a good week!
Sunday, March 17, 2019
Saturday Night
We did end up going out last night for a special dinner for a visitor from Oregon. Jennifer (the visitor was delightful). We ended up sitting right across from her in the group of twelve. I asked her if she knew Connie in Seattle :).
The gathering included Liz and I, one transgender guy and nine other transgender and/or cross dressers there. Oh, and I forgot, one lesbian. Subtract one of the cross dressers to keep the math straight. (No pun intended.)
A good time was had by all beginning with a neighboring table buying us two bottles of wine before one of them left. Maybe he was a closeted cross dresser himself? At any rate, he set the wine drinkers at the table up for success.
In addition, to our table, the staff of the restaurant was very nice and some of us are bordering on becoming regulars. It is still relatively chilly around here, so I wore one of my usual sweater/leggings outfits.
After dinner, we came home and most of the other attendees went to an Irish Pub to enjoy a bit of St. Patrick's Day festivities.
Oh, to be young again!
The gathering included Liz and I, one transgender guy and nine other transgender and/or cross dressers there. Oh, and I forgot, one lesbian. Subtract one of the cross dressers to keep the math straight. (No pun intended.)
A good time was had by all beginning with a neighboring table buying us two bottles of wine before one of them left. Maybe he was a closeted cross dresser himself? At any rate, he set the wine drinkers at the table up for success.
In addition, to our table, the staff of the restaurant was very nice and some of us are bordering on becoming regulars. It is still relatively chilly around here, so I wore one of my usual sweater/leggings outfits.
After dinner, we came home and most of the other attendees went to an Irish Pub to enjoy a bit of St. Patrick's Day festivities.
Oh, to be young again!
Saturday, March 16, 2019
Sports Fan?
Here in Cyrsti's Condo, I have written often about how I felt when I began to cross the Mtf gender frontier and began living as a transgender woman.
One of the problems I had was reconciling my life long love of sports with my new life. Slowly but surely, I learned I didn't have to. Following some unfortunate happenings at gay venues (being discriminated against) I began to seek out a few of my former haunts to see if I could succeed in them. A couple were big sports bars/restaurants. As it turned out, for the most part I could go, watch my sports, drink my beer and be a woman. And, as an extra benefit, I met a couple other women (lesbians) who happened to share my love of sports. We had a great time and on occasion even were joined by another trans woman friend of mine.
Perhaps my biggest sports events came at professional baseball and football games in Cincinnati. One of my friends and I went to a couple Cincinnati Reds games followed by a NFL Monday Night Football game, again in downtown Cincinnati. What I remember the most was the abject fear of discovery from sitting around the same people (strangers) for such a long period. Even outdoing my fear of using the rest room. It all proved to be unfounded because, surprise-surprise, the other people were there to watch the game...not me.
All of this brings me to a similar comment from Connie:
"A major milestone, early in my transition, was reached when I actually went to a Mariners game. Sitting for three hours in one place among the same group of people opens one up to the potential of scrutiny like nothing else could. That was my fear, anyway. While there is plenty of downtime during a baseball game to do some people watching, I don't think I have ever been considered to be much more than just another fan who paid for a ticket, thus having the same right to be there as anyone else. I've been to many games since, and the only time I've sensed disapproval at a game was for snagging a foul ball from the guy who was falling over my back to get it for himself. Everyone else gave me a cheer!
Really, though, if one is tentative about being in a crowd of people, I would urge them to try to forget about anyone else. Chances are that they aren't going to even notice you, either. Besides, there's safety in a crowd. I'm much more aware (and rightfully so) when walking alone in a parking lot; all women should be"
So, if you are thinking of pursuing .your love of sports as a transgender woman or cross dresser, hitch up your big girl panties and do it!
One of the problems I had was reconciling my life long love of sports with my new life. Slowly but surely, I learned I didn't have to. Following some unfortunate happenings at gay venues (being discriminated against) I began to seek out a few of my former haunts to see if I could succeed in them. A couple were big sports bars/restaurants. As it turned out, for the most part I could go, watch my sports, drink my beer and be a woman. And, as an extra benefit, I met a couple other women (lesbians) who happened to share my love of sports. We had a great time and on occasion even were joined by another trans woman friend of mine.
Perhaps my biggest sports events came at professional baseball and football games in Cincinnati. One of my friends and I went to a couple Cincinnati Reds games followed by a NFL Monday Night Football game, again in downtown Cincinnati. What I remember the most was the abject fear of discovery from sitting around the same people (strangers) for such a long period. Even outdoing my fear of using the rest room. It all proved to be unfounded because, surprise-surprise, the other people were there to watch the game...not me.
All of this brings me to a similar comment from Connie:
"A major milestone, early in my transition, was reached when I actually went to a Mariners game. Sitting for three hours in one place among the same group of people opens one up to the potential of scrutiny like nothing else could. That was my fear, anyway. While there is plenty of downtime during a baseball game to do some people watching, I don't think I have ever been considered to be much more than just another fan who paid for a ticket, thus having the same right to be there as anyone else. I've been to many games since, and the only time I've sensed disapproval at a game was for snagging a foul ball from the guy who was falling over my back to get it for himself. Everyone else gave me a cheer!
Really, though, if one is tentative about being in a crowd of people, I would urge them to try to forget about anyone else. Chances are that they aren't going to even notice you, either. Besides, there's safety in a crowd. I'm much more aware (and rightfully so) when walking alone in a parking lot; all women should be"
So, if you are thinking of pursuing .your love of sports as a transgender woman or cross dresser, hitch up your big girl panties and do it!
Friday, March 15, 2019
The Weekend is Here
Once again, another week has shot on by here in Cyrsti's Condo. Yesterday was a stay at home day after going with Liz to her Doctor's appointment on Wednesday. The highlight of the trip was a first time visit to a local independent BBQ restaurant for a quick lunch. It was great! The semi bored girl taking our order seemed more concerned in treating us to reward cards as first time visitors instead of showing any interest in me being transgender.
Thursday was a storm day which saw temperatures in the 70's give way to powerful storms, so since Liz works from home, we didn't go anywhere. It was the first time I have heard the tornado sirens go off around here, except for a test.
Saturday night, I am still holding out hope we will go out to eat. A friend of a friend (cross dresser) is visiting from Oregon and she is having a "welcome dinner."
Much will be determined by how Liz is feeling, she has been under the weather again recently. Knock on wood (for luck) I have not been affected much.
Thursday was a storm day which saw temperatures in the 70's give way to powerful storms, so since Liz works from home, we didn't go anywhere. It was the first time I have heard the tornado sirens go off around here, except for a test.
Saturday night, I am still holding out hope we will go out to eat. A friend of a friend (cross dresser) is visiting from Oregon and she is having a "welcome dinner."
Much will be determined by how Liz is feeling, she has been under the weather again recently. Knock on wood (for luck) I have not been affected much.
Thursday, March 14, 2019
Shoe Sale!
Yesterday as I was struggling through Facebook's latest meltdown, I received a message from Bernie Fatla, who owns "Le Dame Footwear." If you are not familiar, Le Dame makes women's shoes in larger sizes and specializes in the needs of transgender or cross dressers.Bernie let me know they (Le Dame) are having a sale you may want to take advantage of. I personally have had a pair of their shoes and can vouch for their workmanship!
Enjoy.
Wednesday, March 13, 2019
Therapy Now!
Yesterday was my monthly trip north to Dayton, Ohio to visit my therapist at the Veteran's Administration Medical Center.
Like so many of my visits recently, the conversation revolved around small chat. In other words, how have my moods been and what have I been up to. Since my bi-polar moods have been stable recently, we moved on to the feelings I had following the cross dresser-transgender support group meeting and what was coming up on Liz and I's social agenda.
As I wrote about yesterday, sexuality was my topic at the meeting. I have not heard back on my Trans Ohio Symposium workshop symposium and weather permitting, we are planning to go to the Transgender Day of Visibility in downtown Cincinnati on March 31 st. Interesting enough, the Cincinnati Reds major league baseball team has a home game that day nearby. It will be fun to see how many potential "visible" trans people will be scared off by a baseball crowd. I know at one point in my Mtf gender transition, it would have scared me. The weather on March 31st around here could be anything from a Spring rain to snow, so we will just have to wait on that.
Yesterday I was able to end my appointment ten minutes early so I could go over to the endocrinologist office and check and see if I needed blood work taken before I went. My endo appointment is on April 1st, so I hope it is not an April fools joke! I know it won't be, as they don't have much of a sense of humor around there.
One thing is for sure, time moves too fast.
Like so many of my visits recently, the conversation revolved around small chat. In other words, how have my moods been and what have I been up to. Since my bi-polar moods have been stable recently, we moved on to the feelings I had following the cross dresser-transgender support group meeting and what was coming up on Liz and I's social agenda.
As I wrote about yesterday, sexuality was my topic at the meeting. I have not heard back on my Trans Ohio Symposium workshop symposium and weather permitting, we are planning to go to the Transgender Day of Visibility in downtown Cincinnati on March 31 st. Interesting enough, the Cincinnati Reds major league baseball team has a home game that day nearby. It will be fun to see how many potential "visible" trans people will be scared off by a baseball crowd. I know at one point in my Mtf gender transition, it would have scared me. The weather on March 31st around here could be anything from a Spring rain to snow, so we will just have to wait on that.
Yesterday I was able to end my appointment ten minutes early so I could go over to the endocrinologist office and check and see if I needed blood work taken before I went. My endo appointment is on April 1st, so I hope it is not an April fools joke! I know it won't be, as they don't have much of a sense of humor around there.
One thing is for sure, time moves too fast.
Tuesday, March 12, 2019
Sexuality?
I brought up the age old argument between sexuality and everyday life as a trans woman at last night's transgender -cross dresser support group meeting. I only said in passing (no pun intended), one of the bigger things I learned quickly when I came out was how my sexuality didn't really change.
The very few dates I had with men were always a struggle and very quickly I could see no real future ahead with the male gender. On the other hand, I was always attracted to women and enjoyed immensely my new interaction with them. In fact, I enjoyed it so much, I ended up socializing with several lesbians. During some of the lesbian mixers I went to, there were several women who were more masculine than I ever was. And looking at the long term, I am still with Liz, who identified as a cis lesbian. Now she believes she is more/was gender fluid.
I must have done pretty well because the moderator didn't have any input and the rest of the fourteen attendee's seemed to being paying attention. One of the most presentable trans women who is a couple years out of her gender realignment surgery even had a good comment on the discussion. Several of the group was busy having a love fest about how accepting cis women are and the transgender woman said all that was true until you find yourself between another cis woman and her man. It took a little while for me to understand with some women, the smiling face could be hiding a knife waiting to go into your back. Like so many other things, learned experiences only happen with time.
Speaking of time, our skin is something which reacts to time and we have been writing about here in Cyrsti's Condo. Yesterday we heard from Paula, today Connie:
"Shaving is a double-edged sword, so to speak. It does dry out the skin, but it also helps to exfoliate. I use an apricot scrub before shaving, as it allows for a closer shave, so I've got the exfoliation thing down. I follow up with a serum that goes deeper into the skin than a moisturizer, but I still use the all-important moisturizer after that. Usually, I will apply a light layer of a pore-reducing cream over the "T-zone." Because of my uneven and rather ruddy complexion, I brush on a foundation of mineral makeup. In order to bring back some color to my face (after having had covered it up with the foundation), I use a mineral blush. Of course, this is all after I've used a good cleanser in the first place.
I've spent a good part of my working life out in the elements, and most of it without sun block. I can only wonder how much better my skin might be today had I used it all my life. If all of the sun block properties of those things I put on my face now could be added up, I'd be using an SPF 60. Unfortunately, it doesn't work that way, and I can only expect the benefits of the SPF 30 in my moisturizer. Unless I'm out in the direct sunlight in the summer, that's minimal protection. I've found that I can apply a waterproof* sunscreen over the mineral makeup without making a complete mess of it, but it's not too difficult to brush on just a bit over the top of the sunscreen to even things out again.
*Waterproof to a degree, as I hate it when I perspire and the sunscreen drips from my forehead into my eyes".
Thanks for the input!
The very few dates I had with men were always a struggle and very quickly I could see no real future ahead with the male gender. On the other hand, I was always attracted to women and enjoyed immensely my new interaction with them. In fact, I enjoyed it so much, I ended up socializing with several lesbians. During some of the lesbian mixers I went to, there were several women who were more masculine than I ever was. And looking at the long term, I am still with Liz, who identified as a cis lesbian. Now she believes she is more/was gender fluid.
I must have done pretty well because the moderator didn't have any input and the rest of the fourteen attendee's seemed to being paying attention. One of the most presentable trans women who is a couple years out of her gender realignment surgery even had a good comment on the discussion. Several of the group was busy having a love fest about how accepting cis women are and the transgender woman said all that was true until you find yourself between another cis woman and her man. It took a little while for me to understand with some women, the smiling face could be hiding a knife waiting to go into your back. Like so many other things, learned experiences only happen with time.
Speaking of time, our skin is something which reacts to time and we have been writing about here in Cyrsti's Condo. Yesterday we heard from Paula, today Connie:
"Shaving is a double-edged sword, so to speak. It does dry out the skin, but it also helps to exfoliate. I use an apricot scrub before shaving, as it allows for a closer shave, so I've got the exfoliation thing down. I follow up with a serum that goes deeper into the skin than a moisturizer, but I still use the all-important moisturizer after that. Usually, I will apply a light layer of a pore-reducing cream over the "T-zone." Because of my uneven and rather ruddy complexion, I brush on a foundation of mineral makeup. In order to bring back some color to my face (after having had covered it up with the foundation), I use a mineral blush. Of course, this is all after I've used a good cleanser in the first place.
I've spent a good part of my working life out in the elements, and most of it without sun block. I can only wonder how much better my skin might be today had I used it all my life. If all of the sun block properties of those things I put on my face now could be added up, I'd be using an SPF 60. Unfortunately, it doesn't work that way, and I can only expect the benefits of the SPF 30 in my moisturizer. Unless I'm out in the direct sunlight in the summer, that's minimal protection. I've found that I can apply a waterproof* sunscreen over the mineral makeup without making a complete mess of it, but it's not too difficult to brush on just a bit over the top of the sunscreen to even things out again.
*Waterproof to a degree, as I hate it when I perspire and the sunscreen drips from my forehead into my eyes".
Thanks for the input!
Monday, March 11, 2019
Monday Meeting Day
The second and fourth Monday of the month are meeting nights for one of my cross dresser - transgender support groups. According to my calendar, it is tonight. One of my biggest challenges is what I wear. I want to look nice without giving any of the overdone cross dressers a run for their money.
I guess the best description would be either looking as real as I can or look like I am not trying too hard.
As I went into during my last Cyrsti's Condo post, The Skin Game, my skin plays very heavily into how I succeed or not. Speaking of that, Paula Goodwin checked in with a comment on makeup/skin:
I guess the best description would be either looking as real as I can or look like I am not trying too hard.
As I went into during my last Cyrsti's Condo post, The Skin Game, my skin plays very heavily into how I succeed or not. Speaking of that, Paula Goodwin checked in with a comment on makeup/skin:
"Apart from HRT I have found one of the best ways of looking after my skin has been to stop wearing make up. These days I only wear makeup on Occasions ~ the sort of do where any woman is expected to glam up a bit, I have found that most women my age don't habitually wear makeup, and now neither do I. It makes life easier and my skin thanks me for it. That plus a daily moisturiser (and sun block in the summer) seems to do it for me."
Thanks Paula! My only question is have you had any sort of hair removal work done on your face? I envy some of the younger trans girls in the group who have and have great skin!
If I am not mistaken, Paula is also heading up to her try at stand up comedy during this years' Transgender Day of Visibility. She lives in Great Britain. Talk about bringing it!
Sunday, March 10, 2019
The Skin Game
Yesterday as we were getting ready to head out the door, of course I had just finished my makeup and was waiting for her. As she normally does, she looked at me up and down. What she normally doesn't do is compliment me very much. Yesterday though was much different in that she paused and said what did I do to my skin because it was glowing. Of course I thought about being a smart arse and say I always glowed but merely accepted the compliment.
The reason my skin looked better was the result of a rather long and drawn out process.
I have always said if you want to present more effectively as a transgender woman, you need to put the work into it as any cis woman does, except you have to be be better.
To begin with, my skin has benefited greatly from hormone replacement therapy and age. My skin softened a great deal from the HRT and my beard has continued to "gray" due to my age (69). As it tuned out for me, this was only the beginning of skin care for me.
Since I still shave, I use a Gillette battery powered multi blade system. Since I am always financially challenged and aware, I use a Barbasol shave cream. It works for me and I can go a whole day easy enough without a five o clock shadow.
After I shave, anymore I can proceed with a fairly light coating of Cover Girl + Olay "Simply Ageless" foundation. Once again, a foundation I can reasonably buy at our local Walgreens store.
I think though my nightly skin regime helps me dramatically too. Every night without fail, I use one or two green tea cleansing cloths I buy from "Big Lots" which is just a slightly upscale dollar discount store. I can buy a pack of thirty for one dollar. After a good cleansing, I finish up with a liberal application of a basic Olay moisturizer called "Olay Complete" It comes in a relatively inexpensive six ounce bottle I buy for about twelve dollars at my local Kroger super grocery/drug store. The moisturizer lasts me for months, so I estimate I spend about five dollars a month on my skin care.
If you are still in the closet, these days you can use the excuse of shaving to buy a man's moisturizer.. In addition to feeling good, you can look better too.
Of course, you can go to one of the fancy makeup specialty stores if you have the money and are out of the closet. In the meantime though, I hope these ideas will help you along.
The reason my skin looked better was the result of a rather long and drawn out process.
I have always said if you want to present more effectively as a transgender woman, you need to put the work into it as any cis woman does, except you have to be be better.
To begin with, my skin has benefited greatly from hormone replacement therapy and age. My skin softened a great deal from the HRT and my beard has continued to "gray" due to my age (69). As it tuned out for me, this was only the beginning of skin care for me.
Since I still shave, I use a Gillette battery powered multi blade system. Since I am always financially challenged and aware, I use a Barbasol shave cream. It works for me and I can go a whole day easy enough without a five o clock shadow.
After I shave, anymore I can proceed with a fairly light coating of Cover Girl + Olay "Simply Ageless" foundation. Once again, a foundation I can reasonably buy at our local Walgreens store.
I think though my nightly skin regime helps me dramatically too. Every night without fail, I use one or two green tea cleansing cloths I buy from "Big Lots" which is just a slightly upscale dollar discount store. I can buy a pack of thirty for one dollar. After a good cleansing, I finish up with a liberal application of a basic Olay moisturizer called "Olay Complete" It comes in a relatively inexpensive six ounce bottle I buy for about twelve dollars at my local Kroger super grocery/drug store. The moisturizer lasts me for months, so I estimate I spend about five dollars a month on my skin care.If you are still in the closet, these days you can use the excuse of shaving to buy a man's moisturizer.. In addition to feeling good, you can look better too.
Of course, you can go to one of the fancy makeup specialty stores if you have the money and are out of the closet. In the meantime though, I hope these ideas will help you along.
Saturday, March 9, 2019
The Future is Now!
Yesterday was the International Woman's Day. Basically it is a chance to pause and consider how far women have come into today's society. Or, how far we have to go.
Perhaps you noticed I said "we." Of course I feel transgender women are women too. After all. we trans women have to go through all the same challenges as cis-women, only worse. We face extreme employment discrimination as well as lagging insurance coverage. Not to mention all the violence we face as we transition and lose our male privilege.
As you consider all of our challenges, you begin to realize how ludicrous it is to think being transgender is really a choice.
The problem is our lives in the future could get so much worse. Several state legislatures around the country are trying to advance anti transgender and LGBT bills, hoping our rapidly deteriorating Supreme Court will uphold them.
The future is especially now for all of you still in the closet, or are young and confused about the future. Unless we all join the fight against the current backward regime in Washington, all could be lost. Even for all the particularly smug cis gays and lesbians enjoying their same sex marriage rulings.
There is going to be one heck of a battle ahead. Be a strong woman and get on board for all of your sisters.
The future is now.
Perhaps you noticed I said "we." Of course I feel transgender women are women too. After all. we trans women have to go through all the same challenges as cis-women, only worse. We face extreme employment discrimination as well as lagging insurance coverage. Not to mention all the violence we face as we transition and lose our male privilege.
As you consider all of our challenges, you begin to realize how ludicrous it is to think being transgender is really a choice.
The problem is our lives in the future could get so much worse. Several state legislatures around the country are trying to advance anti transgender and LGBT bills, hoping our rapidly deteriorating Supreme Court will uphold them.
The future is especially now for all of you still in the closet, or are young and confused about the future. Unless we all join the fight against the current backward regime in Washington, all could be lost. Even for all the particularly smug cis gays and lesbians enjoying their same sex marriage rulings.
There is going to be one heck of a battle ahead. Be a strong woman and get on board for all of your sisters.
The future is now.
Friday, March 8, 2019
Get Over It
As far as I know now, there isn't much happening this weekend. All too briefly, it seems, Liz's twenty one year old son moved out for exactly one week and now is moving back in with Mommy. She (Liz) swears things will be different with the addicted "gamer" but we will see. At any rate, I will be getting over it.
Perhaps Friday or Saturday we will be going out to a "consolation" dinner. The problem is, I don't get my Social Security check until next Wednesday, so funds will be hard to come by for a couple days. Again, one way or another, I will be getting over it. Then again too, I will have things to go to next Monday and Tuesday.
Looking ahead towards the end of the month, plans are coming together to hold Cincinnati's "Transgender Day of Visibility". It is going to be held downtown on Fountain Square and should be well attended. The cross dresser - transgender group I am part of is helping to put it on.
Looking farther ahead, I haven't heard anything back of my workshop proposal for the "Trans Ohio Symposium" in April. It's probably not that surprising since the Trans Ohio lost it's former chair person when she recently moved to New Mexico. She almost single handily put the event together for years.
Again, one way or another I will be getting over it.
Perhaps Friday or Saturday we will be going out to a "consolation" dinner. The problem is, I don't get my Social Security check until next Wednesday, so funds will be hard to come by for a couple days. Again, one way or another, I will be getting over it. Then again too, I will have things to go to next Monday and Tuesday.
Looking ahead towards the end of the month, plans are coming together to hold Cincinnati's "Transgender Day of Visibility". It is going to be held downtown on Fountain Square and should be well attended. The cross dresser - transgender group I am part of is helping to put it on.Looking farther ahead, I haven't heard anything back of my workshop proposal for the "Trans Ohio Symposium" in April. It's probably not that surprising since the Trans Ohio lost it's former chair person when she recently moved to New Mexico. She almost single handily put the event together for years.
Again, one way or another I will be getting over it.
Thursday, March 7, 2019
What Will the Neighbors Say?
I used to worry all the time about what the neighbors may think about me. Before I made it to my who gives a damn thought phase.
Plus, our house is spaced close together with all the others and the cars are always parked in the driveway. There would be no escape even if I wanted one. I quit worrying so much too when I went full time. Which I had pretty much been, since I moved down to Cincinnati.
One lesson I did learn was to be the first to speak. The idea has worked well if I encounter anyone else during my daily walks and when new neighbors recently moved in.
Then last fall, our one neighbor added another person to their household, a young very androgynous woman from Louisiana. Since they have a daughter approximately the same age, Liz and I have had fun speculating if the new woman may have romantic ties to the daughter. Which may explain some of their apparent acceptance of me.
It's also interesting because they are very religious too. Of course I don't know what faith they follow. It's not so easy to speculate because even when Cincinnati remains very conservative and anti LGBTQ because of it's strong Catholic heritage, several of the cross dresser - transgender group I am in are totally out and accepted in their parish. We even have a Methodist member who has found a Methodist Church here in town which has gone completely against the church's recent ruling not to accept LGBTQ clergy.
Whatever the case, it's always nice to be accepted in your own neighborhood.
Plus, our house is spaced close together with all the others and the cars are always parked in the driveway. There would be no escape even if I wanted one. I quit worrying so much too when I went full time. Which I had pretty much been, since I moved down to Cincinnati.
One lesson I did learn was to be the first to speak. The idea has worked well if I encounter anyone else during my daily walks and when new neighbors recently moved in.
Then last fall, our one neighbor added another person to their household, a young very androgynous woman from Louisiana. Since they have a daughter approximately the same age, Liz and I have had fun speculating if the new woman may have romantic ties to the daughter. Which may explain some of their apparent acceptance of me.
It's also interesting because they are very religious too. Of course I don't know what faith they follow. It's not so easy to speculate because even when Cincinnati remains very conservative and anti LGBTQ because of it's strong Catholic heritage, several of the cross dresser - transgender group I am in are totally out and accepted in their parish. We even have a Methodist member who has found a Methodist Church here in town which has gone completely against the church's recent ruling not to accept LGBTQ clergy.
Whatever the case, it's always nice to be accepted in your own neighborhood.
Wednesday, March 6, 2019
The "Castle"
I remember when I started to transition into the feminine gender in public, one of the biggest misconceptions I had to change was the Ladies Room. I did know from my days as a restaurant manager the "room" wasn't the "castle" most men thought it to be.To be blunt about it, I encountered too many bloody messes when women couldn't be bothered to dispose of sanitary products properly. Also over the years, I overheard much more gossip along the way than I ever heard in a men's room.
Slowly and sometimes painfully, I learned I wasn't always welcome in the "room" too. In one case I was screamed at and called a perve and even had the cops called on me in another. Fortunately, that was years ago and now I don't experience many problems (at all) and have really enjoyed the increase in gender neutral bathrooms. I think even though it has been over seven years since I have had a real issue, it only takes one person to trigger another problem.
For another take on rest rooms and my Mardi Gras restroom post, here's Connie:
"Been there - on the stinky restroom dilemma. One can't help but be a little embarrassed, and it's not like you can try to explain to the next person in line that it wasn't you.
It's been so many years since I've used a men's room that I am almost unable, anymore, to remember the difference (other than the urinals). I can say, though, that I was surprised to learn that the sounds and odors in the ladies room were worse than what went on in the men's rooms I had used for most of my life. Maybe it's because the ladies room is a refuge, where a lady can finally relax from all of the expectations that come with being one by the outside world. What goes on in the stall may not stay in the stall, but it still stays inside the ladies room - one hopes.
Considering what goes on during Fat Tuesday, it might be a good idea to avoid ladies rooms for a couple of days, anyway. I know that the traditional Cajun cuisine does a number on my system) :-)"
So true!
Slowly and sometimes painfully, I learned I wasn't always welcome in the "room" too. In one case I was screamed at and called a perve and even had the cops called on me in another. Fortunately, that was years ago and now I don't experience many problems (at all) and have really enjoyed the increase in gender neutral bathrooms. I think even though it has been over seven years since I have had a real issue, it only takes one person to trigger another problem.
For another take on rest rooms and my Mardi Gras restroom post, here's Connie:
 |
| Woman's Room |
"Been there - on the stinky restroom dilemma. One can't help but be a little embarrassed, and it's not like you can try to explain to the next person in line that it wasn't you.
It's been so many years since I've used a men's room that I am almost unable, anymore, to remember the difference (other than the urinals). I can say, though, that I was surprised to learn that the sounds and odors in the ladies room were worse than what went on in the men's rooms I had used for most of my life. Maybe it's because the ladies room is a refuge, where a lady can finally relax from all of the expectations that come with being one by the outside world. What goes on in the stall may not stay in the stall, but it still stays inside the ladies room - one hopes.
Considering what goes on during Fat Tuesday, it might be a good idea to avoid ladies rooms for a couple of days, anyway. I know that the traditional Cajun cuisine does a number on my system) :-)"
So true!
Tuesday, March 5, 2019
Off to See the Wizard
It's travel day with Liz today and a cold one at that. Wind chill temperatures are expected to "hover" around 20 degrees (F) today. So Spring has not sprung yet.
Today, I am going with Liz to her Doctor's appointment, to her office to pick up a piece for her computer (she works from home) and go to the drugstore to pick up her new prescription.
Unfortunately, we are not down in New Orleans for the annual Mardi Gras celebration. We were able to go several years ago.
As you can imagine, it was quite the experience. I remember quite clearly the transgender PTSD I still experienced when I went. Needless to say, that was a wasted emotion. No one remotely cared. The most embarrassing moment came as I was coming out of a women's restroom in a restaurant we stopped to eat at. The person who used it before me (to put it lightly) made it smell very foul. Unfortunately, the space was very small and it retained the odor quite well. I attended to business in a hurry and opened the door to a line of women waiting to use it. Needless to say, the first couple of women in line were not entranced with me and probably unfairly blamed me for the smell.
Looking back on the whole trip, restrooms seem to dominate. I also remember quite clearly having to stop at a road side bathroom stop on the Alabama-Mississippi border. Two women read me as I was leaving and I spent the next half hour on the tour bus wondering if a cop was going to pull us over. Nothing happened.
None of that takes away though from the wonderful party atmosphere of the whole event! I had been to New Orleans before (not on Mardi Gras) and my second trip did not disappoint either.
Today, I am going with Liz to her Doctor's appointment, to her office to pick up a piece for her computer (she works from home) and go to the drugstore to pick up her new prescription.
As you can imagine, it was quite the experience. I remember quite clearly the transgender PTSD I still experienced when I went. Needless to say, that was a wasted emotion. No one remotely cared. The most embarrassing moment came as I was coming out of a women's restroom in a restaurant we stopped to eat at. The person who used it before me (to put it lightly) made it smell very foul. Unfortunately, the space was very small and it retained the odor quite well. I attended to business in a hurry and opened the door to a line of women waiting to use it. Needless to say, the first couple of women in line were not entranced with me and probably unfairly blamed me for the smell.
Looking back on the whole trip, restrooms seem to dominate. I also remember quite clearly having to stop at a road side bathroom stop on the Alabama-Mississippi border. Two women read me as I was leaving and I spent the next half hour on the tour bus wondering if a cop was going to pull us over. Nothing happened.
None of that takes away though from the wonderful party atmosphere of the whole event! I had been to New Orleans before (not on Mardi Gras) and my second trip did not disappoint either.
Monday, March 4, 2019
The Salvation?
I received this comment here in Cyrsti's Condo from Paula Goodwin from "across the pond" in Great Britain:
"I fear that many trans people expect transitioning to solve all of their problems, but it won't, only the gender one!"
"I fear that many trans people expect transitioning to solve all of their problems, but it won't, only the gender one!"
I especially think this is relevant to those who go all the way and have gender realignment surgery. I have known some people in my past who ended up being very bitter and disappointed people. Seemingly, they would have been better off pursuing their part time feminine life than living 24/7 as a woman.
If you remember too, "back in the day" the approved way of approaching being transgender or transsexual was having the operation and disappearing into the woodwork, or becoming the neighbor lady next door. All of a sudden, the round peg was still being pounded into a square hole with little positive result.
These days, we have more options of course. We are coming to realize the gender fluid spectrum is becoming a real thing. Also, after excessive repetition,the public is slowly coming to realize gender is between the ears and sexuality is between the legs. Plus, there is no such thing as being more transgender than someone else just because of operations. Outwardly, you can appear in the public's eye as little or as as much as you want, even though your mind tells you you're feminine almost all of the time.
As a sidelight, Stana of Femulate blog fame has a similar personal take on her blog today.
So, society is changing and the person who regularly crosses the gender line at our cross dresser - transgender support group meeting is becoming more in vogue. He/she admittedly is gender fluid and sometimes she comes to the meeting as her male self and sometimes as her feminine side. How great is that?
Sunday, March 3, 2019
Quite the Week
Over the past week here in Cyrsti's Condo, I wrote about how busy the week was.
I believe the only day I didn't write much about was my Doctor's appointment on Tuesday. Since I have attempted suicide in my past and I am Bi-Polar, I have two mental health doctors assigned to me. One actually keeps track of my meds and the other of my life. Tuesday, I saw the meds doctor.
During my visit, I had my annual "update." It was worth noting to my Doc how my moods have been very smooth lately and much of it has to do with my decreasing Mtf gender dysphoria. However, I keep expecting it to start ramping back up any day. Unfortunately, I seem to always be looking over my shoulder. An example of positive reinforcement for me came Wednesday night when I went to Liz's martial arts class to pick her up. For a change, everyone there was nice and smiled and spoke to me. I especially liked it when one of them referred to me as "she."
Instances such as the experience always help my fragile confidence. Which in turn helps me live my overall life.
I know some people claim they don't need their anti depression or anxiety meds after they started hormone replacement therapy (HRT) but I am not one of them. In fact I had to make sure I could separate both sides of myself to the Veteran's Administration when I started my treatment years ago. In other words, I was transgender and Bi-Polar and one didn't equate to the other. So far, it's working.
Also this week, I did submit my proposal for a workshop at this years' Trans Ohio Symposium and I did choose the gender dysphoria subject. So far I have not heard anything back.
So, all in all it was a great week.
I believe the only day I didn't write much about was my Doctor's appointment on Tuesday. Since I have attempted suicide in my past and I am Bi-Polar, I have two mental health doctors assigned to me. One actually keeps track of my meds and the other of my life. Tuesday, I saw the meds doctor.
During my visit, I had my annual "update." It was worth noting to my Doc how my moods have been very smooth lately and much of it has to do with my decreasing Mtf gender dysphoria. However, I keep expecting it to start ramping back up any day. Unfortunately, I seem to always be looking over my shoulder. An example of positive reinforcement for me came Wednesday night when I went to Liz's martial arts class to pick her up. For a change, everyone there was nice and smiled and spoke to me. I especially liked it when one of them referred to me as "she."
Instances such as the experience always help my fragile confidence. Which in turn helps me live my overall life.
I know some people claim they don't need their anti depression or anxiety meds after they started hormone replacement therapy (HRT) but I am not one of them. In fact I had to make sure I could separate both sides of myself to the Veteran's Administration when I started my treatment years ago. In other words, I was transgender and Bi-Polar and one didn't equate to the other. So far, it's working.
Also this week, I did submit my proposal for a workshop at this years' Trans Ohio Symposium and I did choose the gender dysphoria subject. So far I have not heard anything back.
So, all in all it was a great week.
Saturday, March 2, 2019
Gossip Central
Last night, the cross dresser - transgender karaoke social was mainly a cross dresser dominated affair. Since for once I could hear what was going on around the table, I learned several surprises.
The first of which was one the most surprising was the fact one of the most natural feminine persons at the table still worked as a guy and lived a male existence. I wish I had a picture but you are just going to have to use your imagination.
Another surprise was another attendee was a transgender veteran. It became interesting how much else we didn't have in common. She is a "Desert Storm" era marine sniper and I'm an ex American Forces Radio and Television Vietnam Era vet. Yes, I narrowly missed being in Southeast Asia with the late Adrian Cronauer
who Robin Williams portrayed in "Good Morning Vietnam." She said she didn't see any combat and barely fired her weapon and didn't live in the barracks. I said I didn't even see a M-16 weapon the last two and half years I was in. Out of three.
By not living in the barracks, she meant she lived in a tent. When I said I never lived in a barracks (except basic training), I meant I was paid off for off base housing in Thailand and with my Women's Army Corps girlfriend in Germany. I did even miss out when the pesky Viet Cong mortared the air base I was working at in Thailand.
Finally, still on the subject of transgender veterans, one of the group members (also a vet) who moved became the topic of discussion. She was the member who claimed at one point in time she had all the signs of pregnancy, even to the point of being intersexed. It turns out the whole story might have been just that...a story. Since she now lives in Minnesota, not Ohio, she couldn't speak for herself.
But hey, the group was proving they could gossip with the best of them.
Of course, my least favorite person of all was there. He/she was still talking the same line of trash trying to make in roads with my partner Liz or even Aggie, the very presentable cross dresser I mentioned earlier. Last night I was fortunate I could set down the table farther and ignore most of the trash.
At least it kept it interesting.
The first of which was one the most surprising was the fact one of the most natural feminine persons at the table still worked as a guy and lived a male existence. I wish I had a picture but you are just going to have to use your imagination.
 |
| Adrian Cronauer |
who Robin Williams portrayed in "Good Morning Vietnam." She said she didn't see any combat and barely fired her weapon and didn't live in the barracks. I said I didn't even see a M-16 weapon the last two and half years I was in. Out of three.
By not living in the barracks, she meant she lived in a tent. When I said I never lived in a barracks (except basic training), I meant I was paid off for off base housing in Thailand and with my Women's Army Corps girlfriend in Germany. I did even miss out when the pesky Viet Cong mortared the air base I was working at in Thailand.
 |
| Robin Williams |
But hey, the group was proving they could gossip with the best of them.
Of course, my least favorite person of all was there. He/she was still talking the same line of trash trying to make in roads with my partner Liz or even Aggie, the very presentable cross dresser I mentioned earlier. Last night I was fortunate I could set down the table farther and ignore most of the trash.
At least it kept it interesting.
Friday, March 1, 2019
Consecutive Days
Yesterday as I got ready to go to the auto repair shop to pick up my car, I realized how many consecutive days it has been for me to put on my make up. Last Saturday started the string when I went to the Liz's martial arts class and to run errands, including the grocery store. Sunday was the ill-fated Witches Ball Meeting.
Monday brought about another sure fired need to out do everyone (and look nice) for the cross dresser - transgender meeting. Tuesday, I had a doctors' appointment up in Dayton at the VA Hospital and Wednesday I went along with Liz to her appointments.
Thursday I thought I was going to get a "day off" until it became obvious the car needed immediate attention. Fortunately, the problem wasn't major and the guy at the front desk barely even looked at me when I picked up the keys and paid.
All of this brings me to today. Actually tonight is the "karaoke" social we go to once a month at a local Mexican themed bar/restaurant venue. Looking nice is definitely a priority, although I don't go all out like so many of the other attendees.
Which brings me full circle back to Saturday when I go to martial arts again with Liz (to watch) and go a couple other errands like the grocery store.
I can remember vividly thinking how it must feel to have to get ready and apply makeup/outfit everyday.
It just took me quite a while to get here.
Monday brought about another sure fired need to out do everyone (and look nice) for the cross dresser - transgender meeting. Tuesday, I had a doctors' appointment up in Dayton at the VA Hospital and Wednesday I went along with Liz to her appointments.
Thursday I thought I was going to get a "day off" until it became obvious the car needed immediate attention. Fortunately, the problem wasn't major and the guy at the front desk barely even looked at me when I picked up the keys and paid.
All of this brings me to today. Actually tonight is the "karaoke" social we go to once a month at a local Mexican themed bar/restaurant venue. Looking nice is definitely a priority, although I don't go all out like so many of the other attendees.Which brings me full circle back to Saturday when I go to martial arts again with Liz (to watch) and go a couple other errands like the grocery store.
I can remember vividly thinking how it must feel to have to get ready and apply makeup/outfit everyday.
It just took me quite a while to get here.
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