Tuesday, March 12, 2019


I brought up the age old argument between sexuality and everyday life as a trans woman at last night's transgender -cross dresser support group meeting. I only said in passing (no pun intended), one of the bigger things I learned quickly when I came out was how my sexuality didn't really change.

The very few dates I had with men were always a struggle and very quickly I could see no real future ahead with the male gender. On the other hand, I was always attracted to women and enjoyed immensely my new interaction with them. In fact, I enjoyed it so much, I ended up socializing with several lesbians. During some of the lesbian mixers I went to, there were several women who were more masculine than I ever was. And looking at the long term, I am still with Liz, who identified as a cis lesbian. Now she believes she is more/was gender fluid.

I must have done pretty well because the moderator didn't have any input and the rest of the fourteen attendee's seemed to being paying attention. One of the most presentable trans women who is a couple years out of her gender realignment surgery even had a good comment on the discussion. Several of the group was busy having a love fest about how accepting cis women are and the transgender woman said all that was true until you find yourself between another cis woman and her man. It took a little while for me to understand with some women, the smiling face could be hiding a knife waiting to go into your back. Like so many other things, learned experiences only happen with time.

Speaking of time, our skin is something which reacts to time and we have been writing about here in Cyrsti's Condo. Yesterday we heard from Paula, today Connie:

"Shaving is a double-edged sword, so to speak. It does dry out the skin, but it also helps to exfoliate. I use an apricot scrub before shaving, as it allows for a closer shave, so I've got the exfoliation thing down. I follow up with a serum that goes deeper into the skin than a moisturizer, but I still use the all-important moisturizer after that. Usually, I will apply a light layer of a pore-reducing cream over the "T-zone." Because of my uneven and rather ruddy complexion, I brush on a foundation of mineral makeup. In order to bring back some color to my face (after having had covered it up with the foundation), I use a mineral blush. Of course, this is all after I've used a good cleanser in the first place.

I've spent a good part of my working life out in the elements, and most of it without sun block. I can only wonder how much better my skin might be today had I used it all my life. If all of the sun block properties of those things I put on my face now could be added up, I'd be using an SPF 60. Unfortunately, it doesn't work that way, and I can only expect the benefits of the SPF 30 in my moisturizer. Unless I'm out in the direct sunlight in the summer, that's minimal protection. I've found that I can apply a waterproof* sunscreen over the mineral makeup without making a complete mess of it, but it's not too difficult to brush on just a bit over the top of the sunscreen to even things out again.

*Waterproof to a degree, as I hate it when I perspire and the sunscreen drips from my forehead into my eyes".

Thanks for the input!


  1. The only thing I can say about a post that combines sexuality with skin care is that having sex can certainly bring about a healthy glow. ;-O

    Speaking of sex (which is all I ever can do about it these days), I think that when we, as trans people, learn where we fall on the gender spectrum, we also learn just how complicated we make it for ourselves on the sexual orientation spectrum. It may not be so difficult to know who you may be attracted to, or even to be attractive to someone else. Does the other person see you as being desirable for how you see yourself to be, though?

    I've encountered many people who seemed to be interested in me sexually. Although most of them have been men, there have been women, and even transgender women, as well. Since I've never let it go so far as having it become a sexual encounter, I'm not really sure of the reason any of them have had for being attracted to me. None of them could really know what genitalia I have, so either they are assuming or they don't care. It doesn't matter to me what they are thinking, because I do not have the correct genitalia for having sex the way I would desire it. For health reasons, I don't think I'll ever be able to correct that surgically, so I've resigned myself to living without sex at all. I'm not dying to have sex, anyway.

  2. I agree with Connie that there does come a time in life where even the thought of sex feels a bit too much. I too am reconciled to a celibate life, but then having been married for over 25 years I'm used to that. It did come as something of a shock to me when on transition I found I was still straight, before transition I was attracted to the opposite sex, and after transition I was also attracted to the opposite sex. Though to be honest these days it is not so much sex, as company, a cuddle and a bit of affection. A six figure bank balance wouldn't go amiss either!