When Nature Calls

 Amanda not so long ago wrote into my email describing a few of her experiences using the women's room when nature calls and she has to simply go to the bathroom.

She also asked for some of my experiences. First of all, I haven't used a man's restroom for over a decade now but my introduction into using the women's room wasn't an easy one. I have written before when I had the police called on me several times when all I was trying to do was relieve myself of excess beer. 

Looking back, realistically, I brought on most of the problems I had upon myself.  As I explored the feminine world in the early days, primarily I fell victim to ill fitting wigs which were poor fashion choices. Until I was able to grow my own hair, was I able to present more effectively as a woman. Which in turn enabled me to have my own female rest room "pass". No pun intended.

Other factors which helped me immensely were how I viewed and adapted myself to the new rest room etiquette I was being exposed to. I made sure I was neat and tidy as I took care of essential business even to the point of trying to duplicate the sound of women peeing in the toilet bowl as close as I could. Plus, just to make sure I was prepared years ago, I always carried a feminine hygiene product in my purse in case anyone asked to try me. 

The rest was relatively easy.  I had to learn to adjust my urges to the normally longer lines to the women's restrooms. Plus I had to learn to make eye contact and not be afraid to converse with other women in line. 

Finally, I had to make sure I quickly checked my hair and makeup as I always washed my hands and quickly (or efficiently) left and returned to my seat. To this day though, I still retain the scars of my early experiences in the rest rooms. I always check to see if anyone is going out of their way to stare at me or even glare. 

I must say though, along the way, similar to the rest of the transgender journey I have chosen, I have been exposed to a number of humorous or even surprising rest room experiences. The most interesting one was at a Cincinnati Pride

Picture from Pride

event a couple summers ago when one of the few free standing restrooms available was half closed due to a hornet infestation.  All the men were forced to use the women's room and the response was comical and classic as toilet paper was passed along the line. The most surprising experience I ever had was when I was at a concert one night and was waiting in the woman's room line. Once I finally made it close enough to the room itself, I observed a woman swinging from one of the stalls trying to break the lock off the door. My ideas of women respecting their restroom more than men was forever shattered. 

Overall, I think attitudes over restroom usage have definitely lightened up. Plus the number of gender neutral restrooms have increased.

Thanks Amanda for the question. 

Pride

Yesterday was a very long day for my partner Liz and I. It was Cincinnati Pride Day.  A medium sized event (as far as Prides go) with around 100,000 people attending.

Our day started around eight in the morning since we also set up a promotional booth for our fall Cincinnati Witches Ball. I stayed in the booth while Liz and a couple others walked in the parade. Doing so, I was able to escape the early showers that ended early in the afternoon.

Since we set up a booth, we had to stay all day until nine at night, so as I wrote, it made for a long exciting day.

Cincinnati, Ohio Pride Parade

During the day, I was able to "escape" a couple times and visit the booth the cross dresser - transgender group I am part of too. They did so well they passed out all the information they brought by around four in the afternoon.

Of course what I like about Pride the most were the younger people being able to celebrate being themselves in a totally inclusive environment. The whole day gave me a warm and fuzzy feeling for the future. Once the majority of the old white power dinosaurs finish dying off and the kids take over, they can change the world.

As for me yesterday, by the time the day was over, I was feeling every bit of my nearly seventy years on this planet. Part of me was happy the day was over but another part of me was sad too.

Even though I live my own Pride 24/7, I can't wait for next year!

Staying up Late

Last night's monthly dinner social with the transgender - cross dresser group we are part of came off as predicted...good food and over by nine. About that time, word started to spread about a Cincinnati Pride kick off party at a old restored theater. Since Liz had the day off Friday, we decided to go.

The crowd at the kick off party was predictable but fun. I am fairly sure I was one of the few transgender people in the venue. Most of the participants were gay men interspersed by lesbians and drag queens. In particular one drag king performer put on a sexy burlesque show which was dynamite.

To make a long story short, I drank too many beers and stayed out late but a good time was had by all.

"Bee" in the Bonnet

Connie reacted to my relatively radical post about transgender women versus drag queens:

 ConnieJune 17, 2019 at 5:02 PM

"Oh my! How did that bee get in your bonnet? While you may get some argument on that statement from some people, you won't get one from me. I sometimes wonder if drag queens should be under the transgender umbrella, either.

There are transgender women who do drag, and there are even some cis women who admit to doing drag, as well. There is some entertainment value to both the drag-or and the drag-ee, I suppose, but -to me - it's all about flaunting a caricature of a woman. I would never want to be perceived as doing that, myself, but it is disconcerting to know that there are quite a few people who think that transgender women are drag queens.
When I perform on stage, my makeup and attire are certainly more edgy than what my ordinary look is. It's sometimes difficult for me to be happy with my stage appearance because I feel that I might be seen as a drag queen. I don't do a drag act, by any means, however.

Nowadays, I may even be pegged a drag queen if I read a story to a group of children - since the popularity of "Drag Queen Story Time," anyway. :-)"

I am glad you asked. What really got me going the other day was when I watched coverage promoting the upcoming Cincinnati Pride parade. Of course, I saw the usual cross dresser in a prom dress riding along on the first car followed by a garishly painted drag queen in the second. Fortunately, this must have been old stock footage the station used, because I know for a fact (counting this year) two out of the last three parade marshals have been real live transgender women. Not a caricature of a woman who doesn't represent me at all. 

While I realize not all drag queens aren't gay guys, I still don't want the average citizen watching the news to think it's true and miss the whole point of celebrating the transgender world as a whole.  

I guess transgender is a lifestyle while drag is entertainment.

Girls Afternoon Out

I had a pleasant surprise yesterday. My partner Liz and I were invited out for "Happy Hour" Margaritas with a woman friend of hers at a nearby Mexican Restaurant. 

The invite turned out to be a happy two hours of chit chat. We basically talked about the direction of the spiritual social group we are in. Which included future meetups, Cincinnati Pride and the Witches Ball.

All went well and I enjoyed being included in "How are you ladies doing today." And being called "Mam" by the male server. I don't think it will ever get old.

Changing the subject, tonight is the support group meeting of Crossport , the transgender - cross dresser group I am a member of. Normally, always something interesting comes fro it. Tonight is the big preparation night for Friday's clothing swap which we are doing in conjunction with another transgender group here in town. Last year I found a leather fringed purse I gave to Liz since her favorite color is purple. It will be interesting if I can find anything nice this year.

What I really want to say tonight is (and I won't) can certain members stop the stories of their old male muscle car antics. Or at least come up with some new ones. I just don't understand why some of these people want to glorify their old male existence as much as they do. A percentage of them though are cross dressers who still live in the male world. Perhaps it helps them to keep one foot in that world even though they are dressed feminine. I know years ago when I was exploring the impossible dream of coming out of my closet, I did close to the same thing.

Now I just want to forget most of what I did back then would just go away.

Speaking or going away, tomorrow is my monthly therapist visit. On the way, I am going to stop by the old vacant lot I still own to see if anyone has been littering it. I have been putting it off, so it's finally time to take care of any issues which may have cropped up. If I can.

Finally, before I forget. I hope you all have a great week!

Weekend Transgender Fun

Or, things to do while I happen to be transgender. Mentally, I don't make the separation much anymore. To me, I am just me, presenting feminine after so many years in gender hell. On occasion though, I will pause and look back on what a long strange trip it has been. I even considered posting my one and only "before" picture with this post but I won't since it causes me to remember back to so many painful days.

At any rate, we are supposed to have a good Spring weather weekend around here for a change, so it's time to dig through my wardrobe and pull out a few suitable

cross dressing pic... circa 2009

outfits.

Friday night is the monthly dinner and music social with the cross dressers - transgender group. I will have to check the weather but I might be able to get away with just a light sweater with jeans or leggings. I have a powder blue sweater Liz gave me that goes great with leggings and actuates my figure. I may have to break down and wear a bra with it though because it gets a bit "nipply" if you look at me from the wrong angle. I just don't like to wear bras, preferring a more "natural" feel. The lighting where we go is normally low, so I should be able to wear the outfit without a jacket and do fine.

Saturday (as always} is errand day. We start with Liz's martial arts class where she just became a recommended black belt and then go to the grocery store. This week though, we have another meeting for the Witches Ball Committee, which should be interesting because the head person quit in protest. So everyone will have to step up and take more responsibility. So far, my deal is being in charge of our Cincinnati Pride table. Not too bad.

Finally Sunday, we hope to get a head start on the yard and work outside. Boring but needed activity.

Support?

Tonight is the transgender - cross dresser support group meeting I go to on a regular basis. Usually when I go, I wonder what imaginable support I could give anybody. Then I started to realize I can lend a helping hand with the occasional comment and by just being there. Normally, I am considered the "elder" in the group and can add insight into how life was for trans people even before there was such a term.

I hope too, some of my insights may mean something but who knows. Perhaps I am doing it as much for me as I am for others. After all, one of my reasons for starting Cyrsti's Condo at all, was to pay forward any of my experiences which could be beneficial to anyone else.

Changing the subject, yesterday turned out to be an interesting day too. The day itself could only be described as a "raw" day. Chilly, windy and gray with very light misty rain. In the middle of it all, here our little group was huddled in a local park picnic shelter discussing the Cincinnati Witches Ball Halloween party.

At the last meeting, I asked if the leader of the group needed help setting up our usual table at Pride this June. My answer came yesterday when she slammed a couple pieces of paper down in front of me and said since I wanted to do Pride, here it was. She was so angry and stressed, she ended up quitting the group a short time later. So now, since I opened my mouth before, I am in charge of our Pride booth. It's not that big of a deal if I can get the paper work and/or promotional materials we always use.

I should have learned along time ago, don't open your mouth and volunteer, unless you want to be accepted. Besides, I always have such a great time at Pride!

A Busy Week?

This week, my entire week starts on Sunday.

We have our monthly Cincinnati's Witches Ball meeting on Sunday. Then on Monday, I have a cross dresser - transgender support group meeting at 7:30. Tuesday is my session with my therapist. Finally, Wednesday is VA Pride Day at the Cincinnati hospital main campus.

Outfit wise, I am pretty well set, even to the point of hoping my "patriotic" top gets here on the early side of it's shipping date, rather than the later side. With my luck, it won't.

My only problem is my nails are needing a touch up, or it's time again to take all the polish off and start over.

All in all though, it's a busy week coming up, which is fun!

Pride

June is "Pride" month and the days long celebrations and parties are underway.

Not so long ago, transgender women and trans men had little or no representation during these events. Now, even the local Veteran's Administration Centers around here show up and have a presence during the Pride days. Not so long ago the celebrations were known as "gay pride" days and the "T" in LGBT was largely silent.

Now, it's good to see no longer only drag queens have a presence and we can be seen for what we are...proud transgender folk. 

I know my local cross dresser-transgender group, as well as Trans Ohio will be setting up during the large Cincinnati Pride event, June 23rd. Let's hope for good weather again this year! Last year, it was gorgeous!

Individually, Pride month just means the obvious to us all. It's a month to stand together and stand a little prouder knowing we are not all alone. Even for those of you still deeply in the closet, the month can provide a beacon of hope for the future. After all, the world can change over the years. I am proof of that!

For this post, I have added one of my fave Pride month pictures from the days when I really started to live my authentic life as a trans woman.

Hopefully, you live around a town or community large enough you can get out and enjoy a Pride experience. Every year a new celebration shows up in a town around here.

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

Well, the colonoscopy has come and gone. With it went a whole new set of paranoia's.

Since the Veterans Medical Choice Program can't seem to get my name correct (unlike the rest of the VA), I was in the Doctor's office records under my male name. The staff was good though as I recoiled at the name and simply said what was my name preference was.

From there it was pretty much clear sailing with the name, pro noun and restroom usage. In fact, the "discharge" nurse (no pun intended) specifically showed me to the women's room before we left.

Now when I sleep off the rest of the anesthesia, life will be back to it's usual hot summer day (90). Looking ahead to Pride weekend Saturday, the weather peeps are calling for another steamy Ohio Saturday for a two mile walk through downtown Cincinnati.

J'J's Sunday Edition

Ker Plunk! Another Sunday Edition is hitting your digital front porch!

Weather: Near 90 but medium humidity for another day or so before Momma Nature hits us with the dual H's...heat and humidity. Had a very respectful iced "Joe" (coffee) yesterday and am thinking about a hot one today! Let's get started:

Page One: The Week that Was-or Wasn't: Of course the tragedy at the Pulse Nightclub in Orlando transfixed us most of the week. Once again, people were trying to figure out where all the hate comes from to take it out on innocent people, and in this country, the debate over automatic rifle control flares up again. Both, to big of topics to bring up here. The good news was the huge Columbus, Ohio pride went off with out a hitch last week and the almost as big Cincinnati is coming up next week. Chances to celebrate our community.

Page Two: Opinion- Yesterday's Coffee: I started my prep work for Monday's colonoscopy If you never have had one, the Doc gives you a mix of something which with out a doubt will clean you out.

I start it tonight very near my fave toilet. In the meantime I have to catch up shaving my legs, working on my nails and changing out my estrogen patches. See, I told you this wasn't easy!!!!

Page Three: Father's Day: I am and always will be Dad to my daughter and she has always meant the world to me. This is what she wrote me this morning:

"Thank you for being my Dad growing up! Because of you I am a stronger woman, because of you I am more tolerant of others...don't judge others by their looks but by their actions and look for more than material possessions in life. 

I Love You. 

I used almost a box of tissues crying. Blessed be.

Page Four: The Back Page: Well,it's time to wrap this up and enjoy the day before it gets too hot. Thanks for spending your precious time with me. Love you all!!!!

THE Reason For Me To Go Pride

Turns outs this S.O.B is supposed to be at Cincinnati Pride:
Back in my Army days. one of the prerequisites of Basic Training was complete knowledge
 of  the M-16. (automatic rifle) I hope this guy has some training and really knows just a little about love. I feel sorry too for the police who have to follow this hater around.

Cyrsti's Condo "Sunday Edition"

Ker Plunk! Listen up! Another Sunday edition is hitting your virtual front porch! It's a chilly Spring day here in Cincinnati, so grab a cup o joe (coffee) and get started,

Page One: The Week that Was or Wasn't: On the national scene battles continue to rage on the local and state scenes on transgender rights. Good luck on yours, even though luck is secondary and activism is first. Speaking of activism, I was pleasantly surprised Friday night when the "Circle" Meetup group Liz and I are part of announced they would be supporting a table at this year's Cincinnati Pride weekend. Keep in mind, only about three out fifty members are LGBT orientated and I would have never suggested doing this.

Page Two: Seeing is Good: I mentioned earlier this week that I ordered feminine glasses for the first time in my life. Previously, I wore none at all or just wore my old male glasses. In a serious twist on a funny saying, A blind squirrel roots out an acorn, this squirrel found the acorn and I kind of like the glasses I picked out. More importantly, my fashion coordinator (Liz) approved too and Connie, the glasses actually hide some of my wrinkles. I do have bifocals without lines so as I write this with glasses is different. Not that it will be making my writing any better.

Page Four: The Back Page: Today's edition is short because it seems, every second of the day is planned, including a two hour meeting of my writer's meet up group. You all have a great Sunday and thanks for stopping by Cyrsti's Condo!

Cyrsti's Condo "Sunday Edition"

Ker Plunk! Another rather late Sunday edition is hitting your virtual front porch!

Page One.- The Week that Was-or Wasn't:  A couple weeks ago, I began to document a few of the top changes I have gone through during past three years or so on HRT. At the same time, I received feedback from Connie (same age) on why HRT is not the end all for some. (Other than the fact, the hormones could be the end all-if not taken correctly.)  She wrote:

I don't feel a real need to enhance my "womanhood" by artificial means, insofar as the effects that hormones would have on my mind, anyway. Sure, I would love to have a more feminine figure, and I dislike the artificial means (strategic padding) I must go to in presenting one, but I worry that attempting to create a killer figure by way of HRT could be, in reality, a kill-her figure. Some may say, then, that my heart is just not in it, yet it is because my literal heart is at stake that I resist the temptation. I find it amusing, if not outright amazing, though, that so many people assume I have been on HRT for the past couple of years. Even my doctor raised an eyebrow during a physical exam, and she asked me if I might have been self-prescribing. Ha! Maybe it's just mind over matter? No, it is my reality that matters, and I am finally living it!

Too many times I believe there are too many people believing they know the "true path" to transgender happiness when there isn't one.

Page Two.- "Amazon Eve" Takes on the Nati! This week, Cincinnati Pride announced Erika Ervin also known as "Amazon Eve" from the American Horror Story. Erika is an American transgender model, fitness trainer, and actress.  At 6 feet 8 inches (2.03 m) tall, news stories have called her "the world's tallest model". Good for Cincinnati!!!

Page Three.- The Back Page.- You all have a fabulous week and thanks sooooo much for visiting the "Condo!"