Wednesday, April 3, 2019

Weekend Transgender Fun

Or, things to do while I happen to be transgender. Mentally, I don't make the separation much anymore. To me, I am just me, presenting feminine after so many years in gender hell. On occasion though, I will pause and look back on what a long strange trip it has been. I even considered posting my one and only "before" picture with this post but I won't since it causes me to remember back to so many painful days.

At any rate, we are supposed to have a good Spring weather weekend around here for a change, so it's time to dig through my wardrobe and pull out a few suitable
cross dressing pic... circa 2009

Friday night is the monthly dinner and music social with the cross dressers - transgender group. I will have to check the weather but I might be able to get away with just a light sweater with jeans or leggings. I have a powder blue sweater Liz gave me that goes great with leggings and actuates my figure. I may have to break down and wear a bra with it though because it gets a bit "nipply" if you look at me from the wrong angle. I just don't like to wear bras, preferring a more "natural" feel. The lighting where we go is normally low, so I should be able to wear the outfit without a jacket and do fine.

Saturday (as always} is errand day. We start with Liz's martial arts class where she just became a recommended black belt and then go to the grocery store. This week though, we have another meeting for the Witches Ball Committee, which should be interesting because the head person quit in protest. So everyone will have to step up and take more responsibility. So far, my deal is being in charge of our Cincinnati Pride table. Not too bad.

Finally Sunday, we hope to get a head start on the yard and work outside. Boring but needed activity.

1 comment:

  1. I don't care for "before" pics, either. I remember, many years ago, showing a woman (who only knew me as my feminine-self) a picture of the masculine, unshaven-me that I had in my phone. I, immediately, felt how wrong a thing that was to do. She told me that she didn't need to see that, and, although she thought my "transformation" to be remarkable, she had never even thought of me as anything but a woman until that moment. Sure, she had known I was trans, but I had given her a glimpse of that part of me that she didn't want to know about. I didn't want anyone to know about it either, so why did I show her that photo?

    As important as it is to be confident in one's femininity, the dysphoria can cause doubt, even if that doubt is only underlying. I think, especially in the course of transition, we may feel the need to prove ourselves - maybe even more to ourselves than to others. Ultimately, though, if we believe ourselves to be feminine beings, that does not mean we should have to prove it by comparing ourselves to a dysphoric notion of a masculine past. Nobody is completely feminine or masculine, so there should be no reason to create drastic comparisons just to prove we are more feminine than masculine.

    To be myself, the authentic self I feel myself to be, I must allow for my innate qualities to be free. I have always been much more feminine than masculine, but I have transitioned by letting go of the masculine facade I once used, more so than by finding the femininity that I had hidden. I really don't need to see a picture of a facade to prove I'm not "him." If I'm confident in who I am now, I also don't need to prove it to others with a "before" pic for the purpose of comparison.