Wednesday, March 6, 2019

The "Castle"

I remember when I started to transition into the feminine gender in public, one of the biggest misconceptions I had to change was the Ladies Room. I did know from my days as a restaurant manager the "room" wasn't the "castle" most men thought it to be.To be blunt about it, I encountered too many bloody messes when women couldn't be bothered to dispose of sanitary products properly.  Also over the years, I overheard much more gossip along the way than I ever heard in a men's room.

Slowly and sometimes painfully, I learned I wasn't always welcome in the "room" too. In one case I was screamed at and called a perve and even had the cops called on me in another. Fortunately, that was years ago and now I don't experience many problems (at all) and have really enjoyed the increase in gender neutral bathrooms. I think even though it has been over seven years since I have had a real issue, it only takes one person to trigger another problem. 

For another take on rest rooms and my Mardi Gras restroom post, here's Connie:
Woman's Room

"Been there - on the stinky restroom dilemma. One can't help but be a little embarrassed, and it's not like you can try to explain to the next person in line that it wasn't you.

It's been so many years since I've used a men's room that I am almost unable, anymore, to remember the difference (other than the urinals). I can say, though, that I was surprised to learn that the sounds and odors in the ladies room were worse than what went on in the men's rooms I had used for most of my life. Maybe it's because the ladies room is a refuge, where a lady can finally relax from all of the expectations that come with being one by the outside world. What goes on in the stall may not stay in the stall, but it still stays inside the ladies room - one hopes.

Considering what goes on during Fat Tuesday, it might be a good idea to avoid ladies rooms for a couple of days, anyway. I know that the traditional Cajun cuisine does a number on my system) :-)"

So true!


  1. I have had only two restroom problems, neither of which really took place in the ladies room, per se.

    The very first time I went out to a public place as a woman, I was in a bar with a group from the oft-mentioned local cross dresser social club. I needed to use the ladies room, and I watched the door (like a counting crow) until I figured the restroom would be clear, thus safe for my first time. As I sat in the furthest stall, I could hear the door to the room open, followed by a loud woman's voice declaring there was a man in the ladies room. I didn't panic, but I did stay in the stall until I knew the room was empty again. By the time I was drying my hands at the sink, I had determined that it was all a practical joke. It was the server who had made the loud announcement, as I recognized her voice because of her accent. When I returned to the table, the whole group was laughing like a bunch of juvenile boys. I just played it cool, and told them I had heard the announcement, but that I never saw a man in the ladies room. "All of you never left your seats, after all," I said.

    The second time I had a restroom mishap was kind of a double-whammy, and it was all of my own doing. It was intermission at the play I was attending, and there was the usual long line for the ladies room. In my haste to get out and let the next in line have her turn, I tucked part of the back of my dress into my panty hose. Just to make it more embarrassing, I also had some toilet paper stuck to the bottom of my heel. As I walked out, past the ladies in line, one of them tapped the back of my shoulder and whispered my indiscretion.

    Both incidents were embarrassing, but not as much as they were learning experiences. The first one just left me feeling embarrassed to be associated with a bunch of jerks (especially when I had been feeling some security by being with a group of, supposedly, my own kind. The second incident concluded with a feeling that I was a part of the women's club; I wasn't the first woman to have done that. Both were initiations, of sorts, but so different from each other. It wasn't hard for me to realize where, and with whom, I belonged.

  2. My experiences have generally been pretty positive, on one occasion I was thanked for being visible and told how inspiring it was for her brother to have seen me! ~ a bit of a backhander as that makes it clear I was nowhere near passing. On another occasion stopping on a drive home for a comfort break with my daughter, she had to remind me that I was in male drag and had to remember to use the appropriate loo.

    Strangest of all is when occasionally when I am at my trans social group I will go into the ladies and find one of the seats up!

    1. Seat up?!?! Why would someone even want to lift it in the first place? Using the toilet in while standing would be as loud and clear as someone shouting, "There's a man in the ladies room!"

  3. Cruel! Just cruel. But understandable considering the source.

    1. Even though it was my first time out in a public space, I was already more secure with my gender identity than are many others (I'm such a procrastinator). I've always imagined that such a "joke" could very easily have caused some less-secure trans people to curl up in a ball or, even worse, attempt to end their own lives. The incident certainly helped me in constructing my philosophy on the "Transgender Umbrella." Some people may be under it, but they're still all wet.