Sunday, December 30, 2012

2012 a Transgender Odyssey

As I look back on a very active and exciting year in my gender journey, I thought a time line may be appropriate to attempt to put the year in focus:

New Years Eve 2012...took my first Estrogen and Spiro. HRT begins.
February...Breast changes starting.
March...My private Doctor increased minimum Estro dosage and told me he was changing practices- not good as I was to find out. The VA would not pay for his services.
Skin going through amazing changes. Discovered the value of taking a bath in 10w-30 oil to take care of it.  Woman aren't just being girly with all their skin products they are a necessity!
May...VA told me there was no in house specialist to prescribe my meds but they would continue to fill them. That sounds better than it was because I had "hit the wall" with my changes and I wanted more. So, I scheduled another VA therapist appointment to pursue options..which she did and told me the magic word "Patient Advocate". At that point I decided if the system is supposed to take care of my needs, I would fight to get them..
June...I pleaded my case with a "patient advocate".. She was positive I would get the outside treatment! But...
July...estro and spiro running out. Still stuck in the VA bureaucracy. Found out my body had it's own new summertime furnace but experienced the true need (and fun) of short sleeved and sleeveless feminine fashion. Women just aren't showing off. They need all the cooling they can get.
August...New in house VA Endo Doc refused to see me. VA agreed to keep my Meds coming until I could get approved for an outside Doc. Problem was the meds were half what I was taking.
September...outside Doc finally approved.
October...BIG MONTH!
Saw the new Doc and he renewed my older Estro prescription to begin the serious changes again.
My Daughter gave me a birthday gift to get my hair colored and done at her hair salon. Quite possibly the biggest change to my girl self outside of starting HRT.
Last but not least, went on a mini 4 day trip with a girlfriend- all as a woman.
November...rediscovered the pleasure of doing drag again in a gay bar as a transgender woman. It was truly fun. Met two new friends whom I still chat with and see.
Went to benefit AIDS drag show with my daughter and 6 of her a girl for the first time ever.
Whew! I found out why women are always cold. My furnace broke down when I needed it!
The month came and went with me butching it up and having a great time at my family's get together knowing full well most of them know my "secret".
New Years Eve...heading out with my friend who started it all with me last year and planning a great evening.

Finally, 2012 was an incredible year. From my old friends to my new ones, I have much to be grateful for.
Perhaps a statement I heard many times from all my genetic girlfriends rings true: "Welcome to our world!"
I am!
Again, thanks so much for being along for this fantastic ride in Cyrsti's Condo. There is no way I could have ever imagined arriving here.
All the best to All of you in 2013!!!


Before Transgender?

As you all know, some of us who have been on this planet for awhile grew up in the information dark ages and what I called the gender "black out".

I found this story from The New York Times Magazine about Ethel Person by Stephen Burt.

In the 1970s,  she one of the first mental-health researchers who tried to meet cross-dressers, transsexuals and (as we now say) transgender people on our own turf, or on our own terms. She visited cross-dressing societies and drag-queen balls; she interviewed all the transsexual patients of the celebrated Dr. Harry Benjamin, and she drew on those visits, those interviews and on hard-to-find publications, including porn. At once a sexologist in the tradition of Alfred C. Kinsey, a psychoanalyst in the tradition of Freud and a writer sympathetic to feminist critique who knew a sexist culture could change, Person asked how we come to see ourselves as men or women, gay or straight or neither, and how to help people whose sense of self causes them pain."

To out this in perspective, I was close to graduating college in 1971. Here's another excerpt:

Person's results make unsettling reading." In papers like “The Transsexual Syndrome in Males” (1974) and “Homosexual Cross-Dressers” (1984), Person and her collaborator, Dr. Lionel Ovesey, distinguished “core gender identity” (whether we think we are truly men or women) from “gender-role identity” (whether we act macho or demure, no-nonsense or girlie-girl) and both from sexual-object choice. Those distinctions can seem obvious now, but they had to be explained at length back then, when those explanations — for psychoanalytic thinkers like Person — often led to broad claims about unconscious origins."

For all of us who lived through this era, this is a good short read. For those that didn't this is a great look at a few of the processes which have opened transgender information doors today. Follow this link.

Saturday, December 29, 2012

Star Gazing

As 2012 rushes to a close, the site where I follow my own Libra "Horror Scope" every week or so runs an Astro Guide for the coming year. I curled up in my fuzzy "Jammie's" with a tasty cup of Hot Chocolate and gave it a read!

The segments were broken down into Love, Madness and Obsession:

"Love" turned out to be a little spooky, prophetic and motivational. Here's an excerpt:
" You may feel a great sense of relief when it comes to where you have been and where you want to go, as the life you lead now will greatly reflect how you have spent your time and knowing if it was done wisely. If all has been going well, time to enjoy what you’ve earned and peacefully be in the moment. If you not, then try out new methods to get where you want. Don’t worry, what one person needs a few years to do, you can do in one — but there is no time to waste, as your time is now!"  So true!!!!!

"Madness" on the other hand describes my weakness's exactly:

"Money will be pouring in and out (mostly out) but don’t lose focus. You must make investments into your beliefs, which will cause you to feel uneasy, but ride it out. Big bets need to be made and the only way is through effort and sacrifice. This will mean being more thorough than ever, which will call for skills that you haven’t used in a while, but will become old hat if you keep at it. Start with making sure to dot all your i’s and cross all your t’s and do not wait for others to give you approval. You’ll get the hang of it all in no time. Just be willing to sweat it out, as extraordinary results can only come from your extraordinary actions."

Finally"Obsession" says I'm going to feel like I'm 16 again, which I can't even remember plus a couple other interesting observations:

"Your brain is going to turn into a sponge, absorbing the world around you voraciously. It’ll make you feel as if you’re 16 again, with a sense of wonder filling you. While it’ll be great to work off this energy, it can be a bit tricky to keep your discipline in terms of following a linear path. So, be aware of building your story layer by layer now, sequentially. Enough with fragmenting it all together and then trying to think of a way to make it sound all good, when you know it’s not. It’s okay to admit to yourself when you have to take control with more aggression and show your teeth. Yes, some will call you a bully, but whatever, this is your time to shine and turn out your best work. If anything, those onlookers should thank you, as this year, you’ll be putting on one hell of a show."

Truthfully, I've always taken Astrology with a grain of salt. I love to pass it along here in Cyrsti's Condo for amusement purposes for all of us.  I don't know if it my transgender lifestyle or what but quite a few of the signs fit me to a "T" (no pun intended).
At any rate, if 2013 comes close to 2012, the year will be one hell of a ride- if not a show!

Before I forget. Here's your link for an Astro Guide from theFrisky.

Skip the Makeup

No! Not me! I need all of it applied the best I can all the time!!!!
It is true I don't use as much as I did these days but that is not the reason for this post. I happened across a blog about transgender transsexual models called Skip the Makeup which seems to be a little outdated. Andrej Pejic is not even mentioned for example.
I did however find the blog  interesting as it featured a few of the other models who were outed and lost their jobs years ago such as Tracy Norman (left) and Lauren Foster (below).
Here is a link for more.

Akhiro Miwa

Singer/female impersonator a.k.a. Akihiro Maruyama is seen here from
Black Lizard (Kuro tokage) (1969) [Black Lizard]: Playing a female role, "she" commits suicide by taking poison rather than be arrested; "she" dies in Isao Kimura's arms shortly afterwards. Black Rose Mansion (Kuro bara no yakata; Black Rose) (1969) [Ryuko]: Again playing a female role, "she" is drowned, along with Masakazu Tamura, when their motorboat collides with another boat.

Friday, December 28, 2012

The New Hair Smell

Most of us have encountered the fabulous "new car smell". Normally it's the expensive smell which fades all too fast when you buy a new car.

Yesterday was hair appointment number three. The salon was very busy due to all the forthcoming New Years Eve parties so I encountered a full staff . Most of whom have not seen me. I have not had time to acclimate them to a transgender woman. The two owners have a very successful charity drag act. Perhaps the drag queen tag is following me with a few of the workers. Overall, I encountered the usual range of  reactions from nothing to little smiles to curiosity. No matter, the clientele didn't seem to notice me at all.

I decided to go a shade darker this time which turned out to be a good decision I think  My stylist worked her magic a little longer this time (especially with the shampoo) because I never have felt my hair feel so silky and nice. Then of course there is the "new hair smell"!

Unfortunately I can enjoy the smell only for a day or two. Now I'm hoping I have learned enough about my hair to manage it better for our New Year parties.

Certainly, during my next appointment I'm going to have to ask my stylist if she will bottle that smell!.

Two out of Three is Great!

From AsiaOne Diva:

Beauty runs in the family. 
"She (mother) was torn when two of her three sons decided they wanted to become women. It was a double whammy Madam Monica soon grew to accept. Her sons, dressed as girls, took part in transvestite beauty pageants and made waves. They then went for sex change operations. On Friday night, more than a decade after they first told their mother about their sexual inclinations, one of them emerged a beauty queen again – at the age of 38. Ms Angel Aurora Jalleh-Hosey beat 12 other finalists to be declared Miss Exotica 2012, a competition for transgenders in Singapore and around the region at Talent Cafe in Tanjong Pagar. The title is apt. Ms Angel was formerly a Mister and so was her sister, Ms Jessie Jalleh-Hosey, 37. The sisters dropped their original surname of Hutchison for Jalleh-Hosey, an amalgamation of their parents’ last names. Ms Angel’s latest win was her second attempt at a beauty title this year. Her sister, who was in the audience dressed in a tight black lace dress, is also a former beauty queen."

Thursday, December 27, 2012

Boy meets Girl

Oh! Canada's Miss Universe transsexual pageant candidate Jenna Talackova, 24, has teamed up with Toronto’s Peacock Alley Entertainment to make a show about her life called Boy Meets Girl. The television production company is developing a pilot for Bell Media, according to Peacock Alley executive producer Carrie Mudd.
Let's hope it happens!

Wednesday, December 26, 2012

We've got Mail!

First and always Thanks! to of you who visit and read Cyrsti's Condo and take the time to comment.
Here we go:
The first comment comes from Adam about a post from last March. theFrisky site ran a piece featuring unique sexy business cards. They approached the idea from the view of a successful attractive woman who may be approached by someone she may be interested in meeting again. I considered the idea of using creative cards to network my blog and as an intro into who I am as a transgender woman.  Here is the original post.

This is the link Adam passed along as a possible place to create your cards. I have never used them and am not recommending them. But you can judge for yourself. It's a neat idea!

The second comment comes another dog lover Diane:

"We are a dog household so there are always stories. Our dog Roxy came to us just as I was transitioning. So she always knew Dianne. One day she was being very willful and frisky. My normal tone corrections were being completely ignored. I finally slipped on my Command Presence deep register voice and barked her down. She had never heard that voice or gotten that dressing down!!! She stopped what she was doing, dropped her tail and ears and gave me her full attention. My step daughter's dog would ALWAYS go into a small dog, crazed barking frenzy when I would walk into the room. Just angry crazy creature. She was visiting for the first time since my transition and walked in the house, saw me, came over, sniffed and tried to hop in my lap. And this was after work with no makeup or hair or anything. But after 3 months on hormones I think I just smelled very different!"

Thanks Diane! I'm far from an expert but I have stories that are similar to yours.  Dogs and cats somehow are  friendlier to me than other strangers according to the owners.

Our third comment comes from a comment on a post from 2011: called "Transgender Kids and the Future"

"Hi Crysti, Wow your blog is so cool sure wish you were around when I was young, any who I saw your pic while trolling the images in Google and I thought to myself that saying a "Hello" would be cool so here I am. (Hi) So anyways I'll be around here and there reading your blog which is so important that I am even going to Tweet your page/blog....okies? Ok well you stay strong and focused."  Shelley Jo

Shelly Jo...I was certainly around unless you are really old! Just kidding and thanks so much for the comment! I'm still working on my Tweet page and had a suggestion the other day how to make it easier to read. I got hacked last summer there and am a little gun shy.
I'm fortunate my friends and family help keep me strong...staying focused on anything is my problem!

It's a Slippery Transgender Slope

Just when we think we are making real strides as transgender women, here comes a story from Iowa that demeans women everywhere trans or not.

You have probably heard the story of the dental hygienist who was fired sometime ago by a male dentist who said essentially :"she was too attractive." The case worked it's way to the Iowa Supreme court (all male) who upheld her termination. A few of the details in the termination included the role of the dentist's wife who also worked in the office as well as a few of the definite sexual harassment quotes from the Doc himself.

I suppose the "rad fems" would point out this case is a stark example of losing "male privilege" when we transition.  Then again if you have spent anytime in the world as a transgender woman- you had to know what you were walking into. Here are a few of the realities. (Be aware I'm writing in broad strokes you don't want me to write a thousand words here).

If you like it or not, you suffer an intelligence loss as a female. Questions all of the sudden get routed around you. Your space changes as you step aside for a guy to walk by and most surprising to me was how men reach over you and get too close. So DUH femme nazi's, most of us figure it comes with the territory and adapt. Blah, blah, blah... We trans folks are adaptable critters.

Every once in awhile though a story like the one in Iowa comes along which does graphically show how far women (either genetic or trans) still have to travel. Let's be careful out there girls. If you transition too well, not only do you have to fear for your safety on the streets- you will have to fear for your job too.

Signs of the Apocalypse

Maybe the Mayans were right. The world as we know it will change. You all know I don't really prefer to get real in depth into non transgender happenings in the world here in Cyrsti's Condo.  After all, who the hell am I anyhow? But I can not help commenting  now on certain events.

The Newtown shootings in Connecticut truly caused me to be ashamed of our country and of course feel the unspeakable grief for the families. Then the following insane event when the first responders were killed in the fire/shootings.

Now of course our country is rightfully embroiled once again in the gun control debate.  Yesterday during our family Christmas get together the gun debate raged on. We have a mix of real NRA advocates all the way to me who they consider a radical liberal (which isn't exactly true).

In essence I just said the problems are so totally out of control I can't fathom an answer. Don't quote the "right to bear arms" constitutional guarantee. (2nd Amendment)  I agree with that. Don't tell me the criminals are always going to have weapons...DUH!  I just said what do we do when you can drive to the super box store down the street (who has already destroyed industry and small businesses all around this country) and buy an assault weapon for approximately a thousand dollars? After you buy one will you go down the aisle and buy a bullet proof back pack for your child?

Of course they had no answer. I could only come up with a theory we helped this along years ago when we cut much of the mental health funding.  Around my parts at least. It was no secret to all of us that many individuals around here were on the street who shouldn't be.

Is this the apocalypse? Consider the Christmas weather map in this country:  The south was getting hammered by tornadoes. Here in the Midwest where I live we are having a real blizzard with thunder and snow. It also looked like the west was getting snow and rain...all accompanied by a Trans Siberian Orchestra heavy duty Christmas song. My cynical nature told me the true sign would be if the Cincinnati Bengals made it to the Super Bowl then Hell would freeze over.

Like the rest of you I'm just an "itty bitty" cog in a huge wheel with some sort of access to write about all of this. Essentially I can't even spell apocalypse without spell check. I'm also no Nostradamus but there is going to be a bumpy ride coming up. I'm not stocking up with 400 boxes of crackers and a 50 gallon drum of Australian "Vegemite" to get through all of this yet though and the only assault rifle I ever touched was an Army M-16.  I do sign petitions and try to help whenever I can.

At the least, my transgender life style has allowed me to become more accustomed to a bumpy lifestyle.

Excuse me, I have to go out and shovel ten inches of blowing snow.

Holiday Cross Dressing Cheer!

Cross Dressing Fun! With a Jewish touch! From YouTube and Cyrsti's Condo

Tuesday, December 25, 2012

From Thailand with Love!

Illusion and Delusion

Just when I think I should have the first tattoo of my life proudly showing my transgender flags- then I run into a situation where I strive to be so incredibly stealth.  I wonder why?
As I begin to review my first full year on HRT, I naturally remember a few parts more than others.  I find the process humorous since most of the time I struggle to remember what happened yesterday.I do know that parts of the year were a true blur. As I love to say "it moved at warped speed" a decidedly unscientific term!

I believe the time was the middle of the summer as I was hating the heat but loving the fashion. For the first time ever I could wear the sleeveless feminine fashions.  I believe the process of "air cooling" over the summer was the only thing that saved me from a certain self combustion.

At any rate, I started on a path of Trans-Nationalism" and began to consider some sort of visible tattoo which shouted my pride to the world. Perhaps a feminine design of sorts on one of the upper areas of my developing breasts? But then a feared four letter word began to creep into my thought pattern- PAIN! I know many of my friends have tattoos and they have reassured me I wouldn't die in the process and of course the huge sissy word crept into the conversation. That was OK, since most of my life I dealt with the Macho word but let me take it a step further and say "paybacks indeed are a bitch".

For what ever reason, I never moved forward into body art or letting my "trans flags fly" last summer. Never is a big word though and I can't say a "Tatt" is not in my future. Certainly I haven't changed my ideas of being extremely proud of what I have been able to achieve this year. The people I have as friends know I'm trans and the places I hang out in know it too. Do I need a sign?

I do suppose though the appeal of being stealth in the public eye will never go away and that's OK too. Only the future will tell!

A Classic Says It All!

 Thanks Valin!!!!!!!!!
Merry Christmas to you and yours from Cyrsti's Condo!


Monday, December 24, 2012

Quote of the Day

"The biggest boundary you have- is your past and your future" paraphrased from the movie "Breakfast on Pluto" Very important for any transgender or transsexual person to remember!

Sunday, December 23, 2012

Trans Down Under

All right, get your minds out of the gutter! I'm referring to Estelle Asmodelle from Bowral, New South Wales, Australia. She was formerly known as Estelle Maria Croot, an Australian model, belly dancer, writer, musician and actress. She is known as Australia's first legal transsexual with the Births, Deaths and Marriages Department of New South Wales. Asmodelle was also instrumental in gaining recognition for transsexual and transgender people.

Saturday, December 22, 2012

Early Transgender Encounter of the Third Kind?

One of the other sites I subscribe to recently asked the question "What is your earliest human experience"?
I sort of changed it a bit to "What is your earliest transgender experience"?
I can't be sure of this but I'm fairly certain mine had to be under the age of five.
I really don't even remember exactly where we were but it seemed to be quite a piece away and I hadn't been there before or since. Of course at that age everything seems far away!
At any rate, I remember clearly exchanging glances with a very big woman. I know you are thinking it wouldn't be tough for anyone to look very big to a child that small. So true but I know now how smaller kids look at me. It's just possible she was watching me for a adverse reaction which we know happens all too often from kids.
My most vivid memory I have of a younger child was one day I was out blissfully shopping. The day was feeling great. Found a few bargains and navigated the public with ease until I ran into a Mom and her very inquisitive young daughter. Before I could move around a rack of clothes away from her, the daughter had an opportunity to check me out. The bad news was she screamed "Momma, look at the big mean woman!" the good news is she called me a woman.
Of course my lesson was to soften up my facial features.  Certainly,  if you really want to test how well you present as a transgender woman or man-just test yourself on a young kid.
Could have been I was tested years ago?

Cross Dressing Spanish Sitcom Part Two

Recently I passed along a couple pix here in Cyrsti's Condo from a Spanish Television sitcom named Aida.

Here are a couple more. We all should be able to benefit from professional make up artists and photographers! Not to mention the very expensive breast forms he is wearing. I know they look really good on camera but I wonder how they stand up to the real world? (no pun intended)

Helen Wong

Transgender woman Helen Wong is better known by her stage name Allenin. She is a Los Angeles-based, model, actress, dancer and emerging film director. Allenina grew up in Hong Kong and emigrated to the United States at age 17. She now resides in Los Angeles.
She holds a Bachelor of Fine Arts from the University of Southern California.

Friday, December 21, 2012

The Future of Gender

I have my own opinions (of course) on the future of the human binary gender system as we struggle to evolve. I believe it is collapsing now.

I have tossed out my thoughts in several circles in the past for no specific reason except I can't keep my mouth shut or my words quiet. I'm  far from an expert but I just believe there are very visible signs in the younger generation that the genders are blending. I also think much of the terrible violence we see against the transgender community is a last gasp Ku Klux Klan masculine desperation move against us. Here's another opinion:

"For there is in mankind a deep and desperate necessity to feel superior. In any group there are some who genuinely are superior … but it is easy to see that within the parameters of any group, be it culture, club, nation, profession, only a few are really superior; the mass, clearly, are not. But it is the will of the mass that dictates the mores, initiated though changes may be by individuals or minorities; the individuals or minorities, more often than not, are cut down for their trouble. And if a unit of the mass wants to feel superior, it will find a way. This terrible drive has found expression in many ways, through history—in slavery and genocide, xenophobia and snobbery, race prejudice and sex differentiation. Given a man who, among his fellows, has no real superiority, you are faced with a bedevilled madman who, if superiority is denied him, and he cannot learn one or earn one, will turn on something weaker than himself and make it inferior. The obvious, logical, handiest subject for this inexcusable indignity is his woman."

Certainly you can tell I didn't write it and it's a quote from a book Venus plus X which is actually copyrighted back in 1960. Here's the link to look at it on Amazon. Plus a more in depth overview here and another excerpt:

"…You cannot be objective about this discussion. But try. Please try You cannot be objective about it because you have been indoctrinated, sermonized, drenched, imbued. inculcated and policed on the matter since first you wore blue booties. You come from a time and place in which the maleness of the male, and the femaleness of the female, and the importance of their difference, were matters of almost total preoccupation. Begin, then, with this—and if you like, regard it as mainly a working hypothesis. Actually it is a truth, and if at the end it passes the tests of your own understanding, you will see that it is a truth. If you do not, the fault is not with you, but with your orientation: There are more basic similarities than differences between men and women. Read through an anatomy manual. A lung is a lung, a kidney a kidney in man or in woman. It may be that statistically, women’s bone-structure is lighter, the head smaller, and so on and on; yet it is not impossible that mankind had. for many thousands of years, bred for that. But aside from such conjectures, the variations permissible to what is called “normal” structure provide many examples of women who were taller, stronger, heavier-boned than most men, and men who were smaller, slighter, lighter than most women. Many men had larger pelvic openings than many women."

So there you go, you know I don't like to get too technical here in Cyrsti's Condo. Head to the above links for more.

Transgender Style-from Punk Guy to Music Girl

An episode from MTV House of Style in Cyrsti's Condo:

Transgender Activist

Carla Delgado Gómez was born July 12, 1959 in Güímar, Tenerife, Canary Islands. She is a Canarian-Spanish actress who uses the stage name Carla Antonelli. She is also a noted LGBT rights activist who maintains a large support website for transgender and transsexual people, and on May 22, 2011, Antonelli was elected on the list of the Spanish Socialist Party to the Assembly of the Community of Madrid, becoming the first trans person elected to a legislature in Spain.

Thursday, December 20, 2012

A Trans Girl and her Dog

I recently read a post on Jessica Who?'s blog about a crossdresser who was basically attacked by his dog after a transformation session. Obviously his dog was totally fooled by the transition and not in a pleasant way.
Of course I started to think about my loyal furry companion for the last decade and her reaction to my transitions over the years. She has never gone on the attack mode and probably if she could talk, she would say "really-are you going to wear that tonight?"
Just recently I have let her come with me more and more. For the longest time, she went every possible place with me as a guy but almost never with Cyrsti. So she got to the point where she would go into an extreme pout as I was getting ready to go out.
As my transition moves forward now I do take her with me.
I did have another furry friend for several years up until he passed on to doggie heaven about a year ago and he would look at me quizzically.
But that's about it with my dog stories. If you are a dog person, I'm sure you have a story or two of your own. Normally, our pooches take unconditional love to a higher level and really don't care how we are dressed. Be sure to check out the story in the Jessica's Blog link above for one who didn't!

Quote of the Day

Cyrsti's Condo quote of the day:
 “Your challenges, your crises, are the most precious moments of your life,” she said. “When the time comes, this won’t be an easy thing to remember – but pause, every once in a while, when there is a moment of calm in the storm, to reflect on what you’ve learned and how you’ve grown.”
 - Del, the first openly transgender student at the Harvard Business School.

Trans Star Miriam Rivera

Miriam Rivera is a Mexican transgender
woman who appeared on the reality television show you may remember called There's Something About Miriam and Big Brother Australia 2004. She wanted to be a girl by age four but has stated she does not plan to have sex reassignment surgery, citing concerns about complications or loss of sensation.

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Transition in Sound

As you all know, I try to pass along the transgender YouTube videos which are sent to me. I love the obvious joy and happiness in almost all of the ones I post here in Cyrsti's Condo. This one is another!

Dutch Trans Barbie!

Kelly van der Veer is a Dutch former Big Brother contestant, singer and television personality. She was born a male named Ferry on May 6, 1980, but underwent sex reassignment surgery at the age of 19.
Her childhood idol was Barbie.

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

A "Bubble-Lucious" Fashion Site

Tickle your fashion fancy and add a few hidden curves girls by heading here!
It's "Bubble-luscious" and ideal for cross dressers everywhere.

Kristian Ruscitti

Beautiful transgender woman Kristian Ruscitti lives in Portland OR and does modeling work around the world. She is an Italian/American model/make up artist, who has been working in the fashion/beauty industry for nearly 20 years. She began her career at the age of 19 as a designer fashion runway and print model in Milan, Italy.

The First Transsexual Lady

Candy Magazine is featuring a transgender model made up to look like Michelle Obama being sworn into office.
The split front cover (left) shows New York model Connie Fleming being sworn into office and waving a U.S. flag accompanied by the headline 'The Candydate'. Fleming of course is dressed in typical First Lady fashion complete to the pearl necklace and hair style.
I can't resist. Behind every good woman is a good man?

Cross Dressing on Spanish TV

This a story from the Aida TeleCinco Spanish sitcom which goes something like this:
" Mecos hung a quirky billboard of Fidel.  However, This does not sit too well, since he is trying to make life impossible. Then,  Fidel and Jonathan ally against Mecos to devise an evil plan: make him think that Fidel is a tall attractive young woman surrendered to fall at his feet."

My apologies for my translation of a translation! Go here for more!

Ukrainian Singer

This is the Ukrainian party Idol and singer Boris April before and after !

We Got Mail!

This well thought out comment comes from Dianne replying to the Transgender Due Diligence post here in Cyrsti's Condo.

"This is so good! Thanks. There are two schools of thought that love to clash in the trans community. First philosophy, Trans care is a commodity and should be accessible to all. You visit a shrink, go out of the country, snip, you live as a woman. A light hearted, free spirited approach that figures you will likely be OK. Second philosophy, you have to prove you are a "true" transsexual by suffering, then you change your whole life and leave everyone behind, then you deny you ever lived another way. Somewhere along the line you have surgery and then you denigrate everyone else coming along behind. You earned the right to be harsh and you will be as Bit%&y as you want! Obviously to some, the real world might be somewhere in between. The Middle Path. In both extremes the socialization and the acceptance in society seems to be an assumed result of surgery that will just occur by itself. In both extremes the people at the other end are viewed as stupid and don't get it. I'm not really sure anyone at either end can even SEE the far off horizon of the other extreme. Me, I'm in the middle so it seems like one half of the trans world thinks I'm a stodgy old worry wart of a thing. That I waited too long out of fear or something. The other half thinks I'm a know nothing that can't imagine how lonely it is to be so lonely so just stay the Heck away from me (just like everyone else does, see???) They think their experience is totally unique and completely unlike mine. I've never been at either extreme of anything. Actually, I'm a duck. I look calm on the top of the water but I'm paddling like crazy underneath. I paid 15 years ago when I broke my life up and almost transitioned (I got scared...). My socialization? The other day I looked back and realized that I have had, maybe, 4 or 5 close male friends in my entire life. My closest friends that I've shared the most with have always been women. I just waited a long time to join them!"

I love the final line! Plus at one point of time I counted a similar number of male friends in my life also.

Monday, December 17, 2012

"Speaking to the Choir"

Blurred Youth: Cross-dressing’s dirty laundry: Clothes do not define sexuality.
This is the title from The Daily Titan which is the student voice of the University of California, Fullerton.

The article does not delve into issues such as transgender or transsexual women and men but instead takes a look at more than a couple powerful constants: The history of gender choices and the societal impact today.

Here is a historical excerpt:

"There have been many instances in which society hasn’t placed so much emphasis on clothes in relation to sexuality. Historically, there have been the “two-spirit people”: Individuals within indigenous Native American tribes who lived harmoniously through their blurred sense of gender. They wore clothes and did work that were typically associated with the opposite gender, yet the majority of these people were explicitly heterosexual. In modern terms, countries such as Japan, while essentially holding LGBT rights on the same legal level as the United States, is a bit more lenient in terms of cross-dressing in popular culture. Some of this can perhaps be attested to the historical idea of bish?nen, which refers to youthful men whose beauty transcended that of gender or sexual orientation. The hijra of South Asia are another example, men whose physiological state is that of a male, but who take on female gender roles. Their history is also rich, tracing back to the inception of the Kama Sutra. It was during British rule of India that these people were sought out to be eradicated, further displaying a sense that Western “morality” has consistently been a looming threat over previously relevant gender associations."

And a more current observation:

"Most of the problem people have with cross-dressing seems to not be so much about the person who is dressing, but rather personal insecurity and a fear of being dominated. What this means is that men in our society are afraid to be treated like women, much like the way they sexualize and demean women themselves. This means that when a man encounters a gay man, he assumes that he has become an object of sexuality, and that this gay man is going to try and show dominance over him. Being that many cross-dressers are typically perceived as being gay, this situation is relatable to myself. The initial reaction I encounter with men who are at first convinced that I’m a girl is one of shame, as if they should have known better. However, I find such hindsight to be a poor justification in initially finding someone attractive. Many claim that cross-dressers and transsexuals should not “trick” straight men with their appearance, but perhaps it is actually straight men that are confused about their own sexuality and are tricking themselves. I simply dress the part of a woman and that is all. I am not trying to sleep with you, nor do I find you remotely attractive. The only one who does is you. From that point, the situation continues to take on either one of two forms. The first is that the man feels uncomfortable, much like the aforementioned “gay encounter.” The other is that the man begins to openly treat me like a woman. As much as compliments like, “I would still have sex with you,” reinforce how much I can pull off my appearance, I can’t help but think how such comfortable demeaning mannerisms truly display the general attitude men posses towards women in our society. It’s sickening and, quite frankly, I’m really not that turned on. Cross-dressers are seldom seen as straight men, and until society is able to realize that is not entirely true, then we refuse to let go of irrational judgments based on simple things such as clothing. Ultimately, a piece of clothing is not always a sexual preference; it is a choice of taste and expression."

The post was written by Julie Nitori and you can go here to read more.

Horror Scope

Another week has jetted by here in Cyrsti's Condo and it's time for yet another "Horror Scope"! Libra (September 23-October 22):

Choices are going to be presented to you, giving you a new sense of freedom and making you want to act fast. You know who you are and what you love and that logic tends to fly out of the equation first. However, if that is how you’ve been doing things, perhaps a slight change in your approach is necessary. Don’t end this year messy. Hmmmm..."new sense of freedom" and "love, logic and messy"?

I'm glad the stars didn't try to add tooooo much! "Horrorscope" is my own term and you can get your own from theFrisky !

Sunday, December 16, 2012

The Mystery of Mom and Trans Daughters

I wrote this post some time ago here in Cyrsti's Condo and it's mainly directed towards those of you who have lost their Mothers: "Yes girlfriends, I'm talking about us. Some Mom's really wanted a daughter and dressed some of us as girls. Some Mom's may have found it interesting to relate to us on some level as a girl and let us in on a little makeup or clothes. Other Mom's may have shut us out all together. All of the mother/son interaction intrigues me because of a couple of reasons. The first would be the simple question of why me? Did my Mom set me up for all of this? (My brother believes she did). The second would be is how much I look like her. How many of you believe your Mom knowingly or even unknowingly opened your door into a female world? I remember vividly the way my Mom blotted her lipstick and made sure the rest of her outfit was together before she went out. I would bet you my brother doesn't! The age old question-environment or genetics? Was I predisposed to be transgender? Most likely it's a question I will never know. Maybe the whole "daughter" question explains my total lack of respect for women who do not take care of themselves. This girl was raised believing that appearance was part of the female gender. My Mom passed away years ago and I believe in two sure facts. She would like the fact I try to keep up a good appearance. She would hate the fact I'm a lot like some of the girls I brought home she didn't like!!!!!!"

Transgender Due Diligence

I'm biased but it's hard to imagine many tougher journeys through life than changing ones gender.
If you are lucky enough to know for sure you were born into the wrong body and you are fortunate to be born into a loving accepting family-then you have society to face.
If you aren't, at the least- you have the genders ripping and tearing you apart internally. At the worst you become a tragic suicide statistic.

A few alternatives of course are therapy or due diligence. My definition of transgender due diligence is exploring the world the best you can.  In other words you are stuck patching together bits and pieces of a life in your planned gender.  I liken it to to playing golf, the more you play the better you are. In my own case I normally averaged perhaps one day a week to get out in the public and test the feminine waters it was tough to learn the girl basics.
Plus, like many of you I understand completely the dynamics of tearing loved ones, friends and jobs and possibly losing them all.  I am not one of those in the transgender community who rate you on time served or operations you have had or how you look.

I have heard from more than a couple trans folks who have taken me to task for being an intruder of sorts into the so called higher echelon ranks of those who are fortunate to live a quality life in my chosen gender. But more importantly I hear from more of you asking how I served my due diligence to arrive here.

For any number of reasons, I buried my true feelings deep into my own mental closet believing cross dressing was enough. On occasion I think by the time my life is over, it will be shortened by the extra gender stress I suffered. But, it's way too late to cry over lost dresses.

So if we survive the Mayan debacle, a stray asteroid  or even a giant solar flare- think about your due diligence in the new year. Consider your biggest warning could be  not jumping from the frying pan into the fire.Don't get burnt and  run out and buy a store bought vagina before you have any chance to socialize yourself as a woman and start taking it out on the world.
What happened to the days when you had to live a year or so as a woman before a clinic would accept you for surgery? What a concept! How many have found that even a store bought vagina does not guarantee acceptance in society- or that you would even like it?

Just remember the "DD" experience (not that one!) Do the best you can to serve your due diligence as a girl and plan your life from there.  Doing your best is all anyone can ask.

Pejic Fronts Again

Andrej Pejic, an androgynous model who made headlines throughout the year of 2012, made another history by becoming the first male model to be featured on the cover of Elle Serbia.

Beautiful Transgender Changes

Yet another YouTube video to pass along here in Cyrsti's Condo of a young transgender woman's journey:

Saturday, December 15, 2012

HRT Month Twelve

December 31st 2011 I took my first "little blue pill" which to the consternation of one pharmacist was estrogen and did I know I was taking it?
Quite the year in review though-regardless of her invading my privacy.

Changes in the breast area came quickly. Changes to my psyche took a couple extra months and as the six month point rolled around I was noticing full scale changes in my face and skin.In addition,  emotional issues began to gain importance as I increasingly was becoming more socialized as a woman.
The summer months were similar to a furnace for me but for the first time I could actually wear sleeveless feminine fashions. Later in the summer, more than the weather heated up when I started my battle with the VA for my second phase of HRT with a real live endoctrinologist .  During a three month period I had to decrease my dosages while the bureaucracy took it's slow time. I hit the wall during that time and didn't really gain momentum again until later in the fall.
I finally made it to an appointment with the "Endo Doc" and he signed off on my status quo until the first of next year.

So here we are.  Changes are occurring now in my hips and rear area, body hair has thinned greatly and the hair on my head has thickened. All were predicted by my first Doc. Of course my facial hair has not been effected.
Emotionally, I think I worry more and I burst into tears when I first saw the elementary school tragedy yesterday plus I think I smell more.  All of these (I know) are highly subjective facts.
All in all it's been a wonderful year which exceeded all my expectations. Luckily,  the fun part of the year was my life outside of the pharmaceuticals.

In the spirit of 2013 coming soon, I will being passing along those experiences too! Thanks for being along for the ride!

Putting Out the Fire

Another picture of transgender model Claudia Charriez who recently won her assault case against NYC fire fighter Taylor Murphy.

Friday, December 14, 2012

Sports and the Trans Girl

Last night was sports night with two of my **girlfriends.
Unbelievably the NFL season is winding down and the much maligned Thursday night games are over. Just so happened the final involved a team two of us follow closely and the rival of our other friend. So the scene was set for her to root against us.
The fun part about this is both of them is  neither are quiet people and they know their sports. Plus the rebellious inner me says "Ha! It is possible to express my feminine side in jeans with other friends."  290 years ago the "sisters of the cloth" who turned their cross dressing noses up at me were wrong. But hey, I don't hold a grudge much past 250 years!
Truly, I didn't sit down to say who was right or wrong. After all it's an individual's choice. One girl's coffee and chat (transgender or not) is another girl's big draft beer and wings. Isn't that the fun part of being humans?
Back to the game. We won!  What happened next though was what struck me as the feminine spin on the whole night. Both of them wanted to know what would happen to our night of course sports was just an excuse to get together for some fun. Not to add too much drama to all of this but maybe we were no different than the cave women from different caves watching the men bringing home the "beast" of the day for dinner. After dinner and the huge bones were tossed to the dogs maybe the women made plans to socialize again. ( No I am not that old!)
Only the technology has changed.

**All my posts in Cyrsti's Condo will tell you when I'm dealing with a transgender woman. If I say "woman" I am referring to a genetic female.

Thursday, December 13, 2012

John Luuu

John in his new party dress!


You probably have heard parts of the media circus or worse,  some of the ridiculous trans slurs surrounding the New York firefighter Taylor Murphy. He is accused of violently attacking Claudia Charriez (left) - a former "America's Next Top Model" semi-finalist - during an August 2011 breakup last August.

Of course I thought Murphy was just trying to over macho the fact he was spotted with a transgender woman.

Then I ran across this recent picture of the firefighter and his current girlfriend Wanda Batista  who said  Charriez made up fake claims against the hot-headed fireman, whose defense included mommy issues and being closeted amongst his macho smoke-eaters.
Oh, by the way Wanda is transgender too.  At least Murphy has good taste in women!
Murphy and Batista

Diet? What Diet?

Tuesday I was invited back to one of my girlfriend's house to what's becoming a weekly "coffee" gossip get together.  Just an informal afternoon of chat. Girl talk if you will.
We were joined yesterday by another girlfriend, a very bored husband and tons of freshly baked Christmas cookies.
So much for my diet! I decided I better start walking a little extra with my dog immediately to stay slim enough for my New Years Eve outfit.
I also learned what it was like to spend nearly four hours with other genetic women, have the time fly by and wonder how I could participate as completely as I did.  Much the same as I wondered all those years what really went on in those female sessions.
As you can guess, quite a bit of the conversation went into family, friends, houses and making ends meet. Yes, there was a touch of real live gossip but really no more than many of my male socializing. Gossip from the female gender just comes from a different angle. Men have a tendency to be more performance driven. Sports and work successes are examples. "Joe Blow sucks at whatever." Women? "Did you hear what Jane Blow did and what about her kids or husband"?
No real earth shattering philosophy I know. The real meaning to me was how pleasurable the afternoon was and how quickly it went!
Thanks Mindy.

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

All That Trans Jazz

Recently Barbra Walters and ABC revisited Jazz a young 12 year old transgender girl (below) who decided  to transition when she was seven. (above)
Among other things, Jazz talked about dating and that she is attracted to boys. When asked if she was worried about finding a boyfriend, she replied: 'I am a little bit. But if any of the boys decline me because of my situation then I just know they’re not right for me at all.'

For more on Jazz's update, go here.

Thai & Russian Trans Beauties

The Thai transgender contestant above's picture presents a striking contrast of innocence, beauty, youth and resolve.

To the left is a Russian - Stas Fedyanin - from the EnglishRussian web site:  "Yes, this is not a girl. He is 180 cm (5,9 ft) tall, his weight – 45 kg (99 pounds). Believe it or not, but he is straight, even has a girlfriend and doesn’t plan to change his sex. He is an androgyne (a transgender individual who does not cleanly fit into binary male or female)."

99 pounds? Really?
So much for the cold war!

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

Horror Scope

I just have to say I conjure up great fun for myself when I read my "Horror-Scopes"  here in Cyrsti's Condo. But when I look at the stars and see a word such as psycho- I really get excited!

Libra Peeps here you go:
September 23-October 22): Potential energy transforms to kinetic energy, so if this means going a little psycho, well, you’re human. The point is, win under any circumstances! Play for keeps and know your next moves well in advance, because to deserve this victory, you’ll need to know how to rule with consistency and be prepared for anything.

For the the rest of you boring critters, get yours here at theFrisky.  "Horror-Scope" is my term-not theirs!

Amanda Lepore

Amanda reads at "Sex & Macaroni", the Verbal Abuse Magazine launch at Sally's II, 1994. She was the issue's covergirl. Photo by Johnny Dynell

Trans Update from the UK.

In the past I had ran a post about a young transsexual woman in the UK who had reversed her professed desire for SRS. Her name is Ria and the story is one of the more revealing stories I have seen for awhile.  Many specials I feel are just a little too biased at showing how easy the transgender journey could be-not how it is for many.
None of the  heart wrenching torment many of us feel or have felt at the hands of a very non understanding public is shown. Here's a very different and realistic look:


Monday, December 10, 2012

Only Two Things are Certain Part Two

As we left this post we already had determined birth and death were absolutes in life. Anything else can supposedly be changed or at least altered.  Which brings us back to the holiday season.
It's the easiest time of the year to feel alienated from former family, friends and the world as a whole. I'm the first to admit I am so fortunate to have found a whole new group of cherished friends to enjoy and usher in a new year.

More than a couple of people have asked my "secret". The only secret is that I don't have one. My keys were honesty, networking and persistence. None of this happened quickly for me. On a time scale I went  four years or so going to gay venues as a "basic training" of sort- before I knew my transition had to begin  in earnest. At that point I started to explore my femininity in straight venues. Sure it was hard but then again the stakes were high. But we all know none of this transgender journey was going to be easy. It wasn't.

As I branched out, obviously some places were more receptive to me than others. Naturally I began to frequent the ones who were nicer to me. It turns out a potential negative wasn't. I was hard to miss and I was remembered. Sure I was a trans woman but I was honest about it and it was up to me to make my experience a positive one with others.  So within a couple of visits  I went from "hey isn't that a?" to hello Cyrsti (a real person). 
What happened next was a direct result of all this effort and a lot of good beer.
One of the bartenders introduced me to her Mom (we have been friends now for nearly four years) and one night a woman down the bar slipped a note down to me saying Hi and we have been friends for three years.(both lesbians I met in a straight sports bar.) Now keep in mind this was over a period of three years or so. You can not approach any of this process just a few times and run and hide in your closet which leads me to a controversial approach to networking yourself- the Internet.

At one point in time I went nuts on quite few dating sites. No transgender rip off ones but all kinds of others. All of them were consistent in only having two profile categories Male & Female. I was very experimental and spent a little money to subscribe to a couple sites.  On some I said I was a female then was quick to point out in my profile I was a transgender woman.  Others vice versa. I even switched which gender I was looking for. The whole effort turned out to be a total learning experience with a huge pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.

Of course I've heard the success stories of Internet dating these days and I know the percentages of people who have successful pairings on the web is on the rise. But then again there are bunches and bunches of worthless crazies out there. I encountered quite a few! However I met a person who is a dear friend and a couple others that I'm in contact with on a fairly regular basis I care about. The bottom line is that if you aren't really ready to sort through a lot of people and you fold your tent and run after a couple failures then the net search is not for you.

So that's my secret. None of it is quite difficult to understand but is very difficult to put in motion and of course it is my path. Who knows,  if you are facing a dark holiday period this post may help in some small way.

I'm living proof the unthinkable can happen and believe me I'm not that special. I hope it happens for you!

Only Two Things are Certain

In life there are only two certainties, you are born and you die.
A couple weeks ago, just after Thanksgiving I silently and inwardly noted the date of my wife's passing.
A week ago was her birthday.
I write this not out of sorrow or self pity but in the spirit of who she was and what she would want me to do. I have always felt she would have backed my transition completely but we couldn't have stayed married. She knew I was miserable. More importantly, I know somewhere she is behind my effort to help anyone with my story. Up front I'm going to tell you this will be a two part post.

For those of you who have stopped by Cyrsti's Condo for sometime,  perhaps you remember any number of posts I have written about my wife's influence on me-including "You make a Terrible Woman". or "Be a Man enough to Be a Woman". Essentially the first was beating me up for only thinking appearance was important to being the girl I wanted to be. The second was from a rough period we were going through due to my transgender confusion. She made me a better woman from the inside out.

Five years later my grieving is done and of course 25 years of memories will always remain.

The main reason for me bringing all of this up however is some of you will- or already are becoming depressed about the upcoming holiday season. Loneliness certainly does not look good in a red suit and beard or butching it up for your family Christmas parties makes you feel like a liar.
Just remember that life just evolves and what the heck- the Mayans could be right and we all get wiped out on December 21st.  I know it's bleak. Been there friends and have done it.

About now bunches of you are thinking blah, blah blah! Sure you are born and you die and I'm miserable! Got any ideas genius girl?
Well, I do and none of them are miracles and most are achievable.
But not until my next post-you know how I so hate 2 million word epics. Hell, I know I get lost in them, I can only imagine how you feel.

Before we move on, I just want to say please toss out the bravery word with me. I'm just living the life I had to live. Don't need no stinkin awards. Don't deserve them, but:
In order to arrive where I am now,  certain circumstances had to happen in my life. Looking back,  I have been dazzled by destiny and how the most important facets of my life have been set in motion by decisions I made years ago.
However I really don't believe so much in luck and I will tell you why in the next post and why I feel so fortunate going into this holiday season.

Sunday, December 9, 2012

The Common Trans Folk

I'm as guilty as the next person of getting caught up in the glamour and glitz of all the knock down gorgeous transgender and transsexual women.
"Picture from a meeting in East Aurora, Ill concerning establishing new  gender standards"
On occasion I do look past all the bright lights and beauty to the trans folks in the trenches-women and men. The ones that say "hey! to hell with it I'm going to live life as I see fit." I lump myself largely into that category because most of the time I marginally present totally as a woman.  On the other hand, I present totally well as a person...
As do just two of the many trans women I have chosen pictures of to emphasize my point. To the left is "Dessert Storm Vet" Gabrielle Ludwig who is now playing college basketball at the age of 50. Certainly their stories are viewed with some sensationalism by some of the public but more importantly all of those we encounter as transgender humans make the effort worth while!

What is a Drag Queen?

Ironically, the more I'm able to make my way in the world as a transgender woman the more I become re interested in how closely related drag queens are to us.
Of course they aren't and drag peeps such as Rude Paul make me sick but every once in a while I run into an interesting video which gives extra insight into the world of drag queens.
Be patient with this one. The first part of it provides an interesting look at a few classic female impersonators and then settles into the present:

A Night in the "Nati"

Saturday night a wonderful friend of mine and I had a night out in the "Nati". The "Nati" is a slang term for Cincinnati.

Like so many evenings, this one started out innocently enough, we were simply going to downtown Cinci to enjoy the Christmas lights and sounds.  Oh, by the way my friend is a "GG" which shouldn't figure into this post but in spirit of understanding and disclosure-there you are.

Little did I know the real meaning of the evening would begin when I washed and dried my hair earlier in the afternoon.  The hair experience is still a mystery to me. Today however, I decided to step outside the box and let my "freak flags fly" to speak. I always admired the girls with the wild hair so I spritzed my hair with some sort of curling conditioner recommended by my friend. I let it dry, teased my hair a little and off I went.

Cincinnati is actually and hour and half or so from where I live but for any number of reasons I have always been drawn to it. Seemingly the place has been the spot where many fun and special things have happened to me.

I made the trip, picked her up at her house and we headed downtown- parked and headed to all the Christmas activities. Fairly shortly we got our fill of the festive spirit and went in search of other spirits.
We didn't have to go far as  Cincy has finally started to develop the area between the two pro stadiums into an entertainment district of bars and restaurants. One of which in particular I have wanted to visit since it opened earlier this year. Among other things it brews and serves a few beers I call my "ancestral beers" or the beers I drank when I first "popped the top" on a cold brew.  This was back in the day before all the now foreign giant brewers started to brain wash the beer drinking public with essentially tasteless "near beer"-but I digress. Fortunately "the Nati" is starting to return to some of it's brewing roots. (It's was a hugely German influenced city) So the night became mystical when I actually ordered a beer I hadn't seen since the early 70's and was sitting there enjoying it with my friend with all my potentially wild hair as a woman in this huge place.

Truthfully, I know my hair is far from being the "wild thing" I imagined it to be tonight-but you know it didn't matter. I finally had connected the dots to a time when I couldn't even imagine doing what I did tonight. Plus just for a second I was the girl with just a touch of bad I always admired. I'm selfish though, and I'll take that second I never really had.

Yes, it was an amazing "night in the Nati" and I give my friend and my ancestral beer all the credit.

Saturday, December 8, 2012

Classic Female Impersonation

Remember the term female impersonator ? I think in my youth female impersonator was perhaps a more politically term for drag queen. Perhaps Great Britain had some of the most famous ones for a time such as Danny LaRue. If you have not heard of - or seen him, check this video:


Friday, December 7, 2012

Carry on Trans Baggage

We are now officially in the holiday travel times from Thanksgiving to Christmas. In whatever mode you are traveling this season, normally baggage is involved.
All of the commotion started me thinking of the amount of baggage we carry between genders as transgender women and men.
Some have suggested we shouldn't carry any of it. But is that possible? I suppose your amount of baggage is somewhat dictated by the amount of life you have lived.  I'm not suggesting the transgender experience is easier at any age but it's true at a later age families, jobs and a myriad of other responsibilities do add a ton more baggage to the process.
But go ahead and say it-I'm biased because I represent the older edge of all of this.
Bottom line is however I do believe at what ever age you decide to transition as a man or woman, your baggage is coming along. As time goes by you have a choice to sort through your past belongings to see what you want to keep or throw away.  Less and less of it remains.
On a positive side, your experience as your birth gender has the potential to make you a better human being. What could be better if those pieces of baggage you are combining as both genders do provide a unique view of what life could be.
If you are the "glass is half empty" type of person, you could say the negative baggage you brought with you will always affect your life.
During this holiday season, I hope you have a chance to reflect on the baggage you may be traveling with.

Aussie Transgender Story

This is far from a new story. In fact it is from 2010 but it bears revisiting.
It actually came from "AsiaOne's" Diva site for women and features Ms Chelsey Mikimoto who was born in Singapore to a Malay-Dutch mother and a Chinese- Japanese father. She migrated with her family to Australia in the mid-90s at age 10.

Much of her story sounds familiar: "Although born biologically male, Ms Mikimoto said that she never identified with being one. Growing up, she liked girlie things. She dreamed of parading in beautiful gowns and experimented with her mother's make-up and clothes. One Christmas, she placed her name on the Barbie doll meant for a female cousin.
 She had visited a psychiatrist who diagnosed her with gender identity dysphoria - a condition in which individuals identify emotionally and psychologically with the other gender. For five years before the surgery, she lived as a woman. During that time, she underwent hormone replacement therapy to feminise her facial and bodily features. Other than physical changes, she also took the time to "greatly reflect" on what it meant to have the gender change."

I haven't been able to find much recent information on her, so I hope all is well!

Thursday, December 6, 2012

Cross Dressing Rocket Man

Over the past several months I have featured pictures and more here in Cyrsti's Condo from a Japanese site called Rocket News24. 
Recently they ran a long and detailed post called "16 Things I Learned from Dressing in Drag". Confessions of a one night crossdresser.

The post in itself just tells most of us transgender or even genetic women what we already know such as lesson #10:

 It’s more than just the clothes You might think that getting feminine airs is as easy as putting on a dress and a wig, but it turns out there’s a lot more to it. Even something as simple as the word “I” is different from males to females in Japanese, so I had to constantly think about how to refer to myself. Or sometimes, I would sit down in what I thought was a ladylike way, only to find my knees popping open. Or my walk would get very bowlegged if I wasn’t paying attention. There’s just so much to think about! Femininity is hard.

Or the final lesson #16:

Dressing as a woman was unexpectedly intoxicating, but I couldn’t stay like that forever. Going back to my usual self was kind of sad, though. I took off the makeup, removed the wig, traded my dress for my usual men’s clothes, and thought, “Well, that’s that.” It was rather dreary to look in the mirror and find the usual boring face reflected back at me. I almost wanted to cry. So if on the street one night you should happen to meet a man in drag, so long as he isn’t doing anything bad, please just let him be.

If you haven't been to the Rocket News 24 site it's worth the time to check it out!

Brazilian Transgender Model

The six foot tall Felipa Tavares has emerged as another of  Brazil’s small but growing ranks of transgender models . The leggy, high-cheekboned sirens who were born men but are causing a splash in Brazil and other international fashion capitals around the world.

One of the positives of models such as Felipa's emergence is the sense of softening of homo and transphobic attitudes in countries such as Brazil!

She recently made the Celebrity section of the Washington Post and of course you can read it here.

Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Lohan Drag

Just when you think you have had your fill of Lindsay Lohan here comes D'Arcy Drollinger. He has gone to the trouble of observing a pattern in the life of Lindsay Lohan: "Change your hair color, get into a car accident, go to the hospital; change your hair color, get into a car accident..."

Drollinger is presenting a show in San Francisco called- you guessed it- Lohan Before you think this may be an easy task consider Drollinger and his cast of five play 89 characters and wear 174 costumes to chronicle Lohan's life over the next 10 years, ending with Lohan dirt from the day of the performance.

If you live in the area check this link from the SF Weekly

Transsexual History

Although there are questions if Christine Jorgenson actually was the first sex change patient, there is no question she was a true pioneer in the transgender community. To commemorate her 1953 return to New York, this video has been re-released:

Looking Good!

I don't really get into fashion basics here in Cyrsti's Condo. I don't really feel qualified as a "fashionista". Then again there are basics we all need to remember, follow and are especially valuable for those you who are new to all of this.
Here are a few:

Use caution when wearing strapless or thin-strapped designs. This is because men naturally have broader shoulders than women, and if you want to pull off dressing as a woman seamlessly, opting to show your shoulders is a dead give away that you're a man. If you must wear a strapless style, be sure to have a wrap, stole, or jacket handy to cover up. Also, instead of wearing thin spaghetti straps, choose wider straps that are more flattering.

 Form-fitting clothing looks better than you think. It may look and feel a little awkward at first, but deciding to wear form-fitting clothing over baggy, relaxed styles is definitely the way to go. It creates the natural outline of a woman's body easier, and helps you create the full illusion. Whether it be dresses, skirts, pants or tops, clothing cut close to the body works best.

Embrace darker colors, and be cautious with light or bold ones. Darker colors are going to easily conceal the more masculine elements of your body, thus creating a more convincing illusion. Lighter shades should really be worn with caution because you can't hide anything when the color you're wearing is especially light.

 Bold colors are more forgiving than light ones, but they also tend to draw a lot of attention, so be aware before you buy. Dress your body as though you were a woman. This basically means that the way you dress as a man does not apply to the way you dress as a woman. You need to know what female body type you have, and dress it accordingly for the most flattering look. The way to do this is to do a little research on female body shapes and see which one you best fit into, and then style your clothing as such.

Years ago, I found clothing separates much easier for me to find, buy and wear.  The process led me out of the "dress" mode years ago and I doubt if I have worn one in at least five or six years. For me it was much easier to find a pair of jeans or even a long skirt. Then I would add a shirt , jacket or sweater that  fell softly over my hips.

Most certainly "illusion" is the key term to all of this but knowing your body style is huge. There are many sites you can go to research yours such as this one called "Shop Your Shape" It's important you don't fall into the "I can't do anything about my linebacker build" mold. Of course you can add curves to that straight up and down body of yours and restrain that male belly of yours with a good pair of Spanx undergarments.

Finally, I really liked the advice on "colors" or "patterns". Back in the day, you could pick out the "Plus Size" women's area of a store a mile away because of a  blinding array of bright ugly clothes. Not so much these days. A couple of my favorite and most complimented pieces of my wardrobe are patterned. Even still,   patterned additions to my wardrobe are rare. Most of them are pieces that just jump off the rack at me and fit the style I've worked on for myself. Now, I'm to a point where the process becomes innate. Sure I still make mistakes but what woman doesn't?

There you go. I hope this helps some of you who are new and struggling with this magical mystery tour of looking as good as you can as a woman!

Changing of the Transgender Guard

Hard to believe I'm into the 12th month of my HRT and how my gender fluid existence has changed.
Every now and then though I still have to "butch" it up and utilize my disappearing male self.
In the past week I have delivered items I have sold to buyers as Cyrsti's brother.  I'm well aware that more than a couple folks in the trans culture would find this less than acceptable.  Somehow I'm not really transgender but merely a glorified crossdresser. So let me put this disclaimer in- don't really care. It's a tool I can still use to make life just a bit easier.
Here's my point.
As I think back at all the years of torment I felt in my life over my "gender feelings", this is truly a changing of the guard. I still have what's left of a male person to still work for me when I need him. Now I have to worry how he is effecting me not how I was effecting him all those years. Is he going to say or doing anything crazy?
My son in law may have said it best on Thanksgiving, how long will I be able to keep this guy thing going? Obviously not long.  Sometime in late January I have another visit to the HRT hormone doc and if things go well I can step up all my dosages'
I the meantime I can look at the process this way. Perhaps you have heard the saying "paybacks are a bitch" well in this case "paybacks are a guy" and he owes it to me.

Transgender Q & A

Recently I passed along a Youtube video from a young transgender woman named Lexa.

I ran across another of her video's. I'm passing it along as an excellent transgender guestion and answer session