Loving my Inner Dork

I probably am not going out on a huge limb and say many of ourselves grew up not loving our inner transgender selves.

In addition for many more of us, just finding out for sure who our inner "dork" was a huge task. In my own case I find it completely fascinating I know my dork is female orientated but takes my life as a guy and uses him to build from. Along the way she has looked at him and said "really? that was such a stupid guy thing to try".

Along the way though,  writing about my  girl dork has gotten me slammed as "yet another old guy on hormones" to "just an upscale cross dresser". For the record: nothing wrong with either. So get over it and get a life of your own.

Dressing the dork to society's standards is the difficult part. I have mentioned the hormones and my hair length have led me down an increasingly androgynous path but I still live in an area where people have known me for years. I do take the easy way out and let androgyny take it's course rather than put up with the hassle of seeing these people with eyeliner and lip gloss. It just makes me feel a little better knowing I still have enough other problems to worry about and you know? My dork doesn't care. After all she has biding her time for a half century and she can feel the bodily changes going on under my loose clothes.

The bottom line is I'm coming to love my inner dork. So much so I have given her a new label.  Now I call her a feminine "essence" or spirit.   

Certainly her life is getting better as society is picking up a whole new set of clues. We are all just mirrors anyway and society just picks up it's clues from the mirror.  Having softer smoother skin , longer hair and real boobies to work with obviously just makes the process easier.. Plus, it's evident that slowly but surely I'm taking the male props out of the costume for good. Finally,  I'm secure in the fact my female essence will have her day in the sun or mirror...full time.

Perhaps calling her an "essence" rather than a "dork" will make her feel better too?