Is It Ever Really Too Late?

I have made no secret over the past several years of how more than a couple times, I have been called anything from transgender "pretender" to "just another old guy on hormones." Because of course, I didn't Mtf transition until later in life.

At any rate..read on about another transgender "pretender"  Robina Asti.  The story comes from People Magazine:

In the Navy during World War II, Robert Astey flew combat missions, and later became a commercial pilot, a mutual fund senior vice president, as well as a husband and father to three children. 

Then at age 55 he began a transition to living as a woman, renamed Robina Asti, and was soon legally recognized as female. Today, at age 93, after a "glorious romance" with a the husband she met in 1980, she has become something else – a trailblazer, having won a victory that makes it much easier for transgender spouses to get Social Security survivor benefits. 

The Naval lieutenant (who still pilots aircraft) says she never set out to be a pioneer. But that's how she's been hailed by the legal team that helped Asti launch the challenge to win her husband Norwood Patton's survivor benefits that she believed were rightfully hers following his death in 2012. 

I guess just "another old guy on hormones" did make a difference! Even though the whole time she was just a pretender!

LOVE THIS!

If we are ever fortunate enough  to meet...

This is me!

Cyrsti's Condo "Quote of the Day"

You regulars know this one has a place close to my heart!

"Dragging" Kids to School?

Check out the kid on the right.

He's thinking "hey! this girl thing isn't so bad after all-  What's wrong with those other guys?
Another boy bought me lunch and gee, I guess I'm kinda hot!"
No wonder my jealous sister is ignoring me!!!

On Line Dating and the Trans Girl (or Man)!

Years ago as I was seriously coming out at transgender, I explored the world of on-line dating sites fairly heavily.  The places I didn't go were the ones who "specialized" in cross dresser, transgender or transsexual dating for fairly obvious reasons.

(Photo, Alessia  Cross/Flickr)

Other than that, I did actually pay a monthly amount of money for a couple sites and a couple others were free. I found out quickly though, I got what I paid for.  In fact, I found my partner Liz and my trans man friend on the same site - one I paid for. I put myself in the woman seeking woman category and then in the first sentence, I said I was transgender. Then I was amazed how many didn't ready the profile anyhow.

Regardless, back in those days though, it was exceedingly difficult for a transgender person to even start the process of finding another person on any site.  You were forced into the binaries of men seeking women, women seeking women, men seeking men, etc.

Recently one of the sites I was on -  OK Cupid has been in the news after cofounder Christian Rudder announced that developers secretly changed some people's compatibility ratings and removed profile photos to learn more about behavior on the site. While some have criticized OKCupid for showing people false or manipulated content as an experiment, the site's failure to accommodate transgender users may be a larger and more long-standing ethical dilemma.  I do wonder though if I just happened to be part of that "experiment" as I had been off the site for years until several months ago I mysteriously reappeared on it and just as quick- gone again.

The dilemma is real as we know as transgender women or men attempting to pursue on line dating, which basically lost most of it's negative stigma years ago.

The good news?  There is a free on line dating site called Mesh now for the trans community too.  The bad news is? It's in the NYC area only so far, but with plans on spreading out soon.

If you went through (or are going through) the pain of being hammered into a binary gender hole not of your liking, you may want to check out the link above!  Maybe help is on the way!

Cyrsti's Condo "Star Ship Cross Dresser!"

Beam me up Scotty!!! This is definitely NOT a costume party!!!

What Is A Trans Feminist?

It's the time of year when the feminist bigots line up at (their) yearly Michfest Festival which is described as for being only for 'Womyn Born Womyn."  Now the organizers claim it's not an "official policy" as every year, protests grow stronger. 

Last year, it was the music group Indigo Girls, who refused to come back, if changes weren't made. (They didn't.)  This year it is Equality Michigan who launched a petition urging organizers of the Michigan Womyn's Music Festival to put an end to their 'Womyn Born Womyn' policy (which isn't one.)

Actually,  Michfest is within a days drive from where I live, so ideally (if we wanted to) my partner Liz and I could go.  If we did, since Liz is a "Womyn born Womyn" she is allowed in, not me.

I have mixed emotions. On one side I think these intransigent bigoted bitches can have their precious festival on the other- this bitch should have the freedom to go.

Then I wonder, why is a sector of the feminist community so against letting me at the least, play a bit in their segregated end of the girls sandbox?  I'm a pretty harmless critter, and if I did bite-my shots are up to date.  If I was them, I would wonder what I could bring to their table as a trans feminist?

By definition (mine) I would describe a trans feminist as a person who supports the basic rights of women to equal wages and now the increasingly strong battle to take away a women's right to choose what's right for her own body. It seems, however small, my support would be welcome?

I know by nature, we human critters love to form clubs, teams and or cliques.  When we do, we are set up to exclude others which the Terf's ( Acronym for Trans-Exclusionary Radical Feminist) do.  I'm also not ashamed to admit I can't follow much of their convoluted male privilege rant. I know part of what they say is true - but they don't ever seem to mention any perception of female privilege? Remember kids, a portion of "privilege is simply perception."  Plus wasn't a person like me who was stuck behind enemy lines be a resource?  I know...blah, blah, blah.

Like I said, the whole subject turns my noggin upside down.  I will however continue to go down my own path of trans feminism which does by nature cross paths with radical feminism.

Like I said, I wouldn't go to Michfest anyhow but I sure would love to go to "TheDinah"!!!!

"You've Come a LONG Way Baby!"

My partner Liz and I were chatting tonight about the Laverne Cox appearance on CBS This Morning and finally stopped and marveled at just how far the transgender community has come along recently.  She came up quoting the Virginia Slim's  vintage cigarette campaign aimed at the new young class of professional women (for all the wrong health reasons) back in the early 1970's.  I never did pick up the smoking vice (fortunately) but at one time did pick up a pack of Virginia Slims to carry with me as a "prop."

To the left is one of their print ads.

Sometimes you truly have to look back to see how far you have come!

Cyrsti's Condo "Too Much Beauty for One Gender"

There was nothing to suggest to me this model wasn't genetic...but androgyny is androgyny!

Cyrsti's Condo Photo "Faves"

Just a few fave "pix" I picked out for the Condo, if they are of you let me know!!!

Some cross dressers just have the body style and the innate talent to "light up the lens!"  I could be wrong but either of these two could be the guy working down the hall from you!

"Trans-fixed" on CBS

This morning, I just happened to have the CBS This Morning Show on my television. More importantly though, I just happened to walk in as an interview with Laverne Cox, the transgender "it" woman, was starting!  (In this case I use 'it' as the PR term for a person who is a hot personality.)  Laverne is on "A" lists everywhere and in demand. She is everywhere these days and even made the cover of Time Magazine!

I was fascinated.  "Trans fixed" you might say,  as I watched. Of course I have seen a "zillion" pictures of Laverne Cox here and there but pictures are notoriously bad these days at showing what a person really looks like-good or re-touched bad.  For whatever reason though, I had never seen her in the show "Orange is the New Black."  or on a recent interview on "The View".

So, this morning, I was able to put the pictures I had seen of Laverne Cox in motion. I was able to see her in a blue beautiful sleeveless dress which showed her from a side angle for a while as she was interviewed.  It gave me "perspective" on how her entire body has made the Mtf gender transition.  I positively loved the way she looked with her hair and smooth "caramel" colored skin but I also loved the fact she was a big woman.  Quickly and selfishly, I could see a portion of her transition in me.

What I mean is, no matter how beautiful she is,  if I lived in a vacuum and never had heard or seen Laverne Cox before, my Trans Dar would have been going off.  Please understand I'm not being negative! She gave me hope that while I never hope to achieve her looks, I can achieve her feminization and attitude.

As I watched , I understood again a little more,  what people see in me. Sure, it will be always fairly easy for the world to take a look at me and make the determination I have a physically male boned body-but some how it took a decidedly feminine right turn along the way. Again, the Laverne Cox's of the world are making my itty bitty corner of the world nicer to live in. I put her up on a higher pedestal than say an Andreja Pejic  who I sense most of the world will think, he was always a girl anyway.

Finally, watching the co-hosts on the show was almost as fascinating as watching Laverne herself.  I watched the looks and eyes of co-hosts Gayle King and Norah O'Donnell and they were in her spell!  The third co-host, Charlie Rose was in his typical nearly asleep / very intelligent mode. He barely even got in his is there a "transgender movement" going on.  Laverne simply said (I paraphrase)  "there always has been one!"

Yes there has! (Wake up Charlie!)

***Trans trivia-Laverne Cox has an identical twin brother!

Give A Guy a Break?

Not so long ago we found ourselves here in Cyrsti's Condo discussing why a man would date and love a transgender woman- specifically a pre opt one.

I'm the first to always admit the male "admirers" in our culture for the most part saddled with an immediate negative stereotype.  I feel bad after the fact when I do it because I am the last person who should be stereotyping anyone.

To carry the conversation a bit farther, I just received this comment from Michellewhois:

I know that the guys that I dated as well as lived with were so gentle and affectionate. The only reason I didn't stay with them was back then to be marked as gay was a career death sentence. Only one guy that I lived with for several years left because he wanted children that I couldn't give him.

Michelle's comment carried me back to basically one of the few admitted gay men who was trying to transition as transgender I had ever corresponded with. At the time, she was getting hammered terribly from her job and former "friends".  Michelle didn't clarify if the gay death sentence was for her at work or them but either way, thanks for bringing up a whole different look at ideas we don't often read around here in the Condo.

For whatever reason, my dating experience with men has been very limited but I too have seen a glimmer of the type of man you speak of Michelle. When and if a relationship does develop between a trans woman and a man, it does have the potential of a powerful connecting of the minds as well as the bodies because we do have the potential to bring so much to the relationship table.

My most recent example came at my favorite "watering hole" when a 50 something guy ended up setting beside me (there weren't any other seats I could see. He was stuck!)  Finally, he got brave enough to talk to me about what beer I was drinking, and we ended up spending the next hour talking music, food and of course a bit of sports.

There was no doubt in my mind, he knew there was something "different" about me, but after awhile, none of that seemed to matter. 

None of this male interaction changes my commitment to my female partner but it is interesting that when I was going out into the world years ago as a cross dresser, I always was approached by women. Now it's changing to men. For sure, life is rarely boring.

Michelle, you didn't say, but I hope your life is coming around!

"Star Gazing" with Cyrsti

Quite the interesting look at my "stars" from my Friskyscope Goddess this week!

Libra:  (September 23-October 22): It’s time to stop faking loyalty to someone who isn’t giving you what you need. The sassy side of you will come out, giving you the ability to get on top and claim your turf. But just know that people have been waiting for this moment for a very long time and will have their hands out. Have some humility and get that team behind you, because having backup is crucial to victory now.

Perhaps this is the "quintessential" feminine passive aggressive showing it's not so pretty side to me?

My pick "guest" sign of the week is:

Aries:  (March 21-April 19): No boundaries can hold you back now, as all that you’ve wanted to say will find a way of coming out. Yes, frustration will make you pop off, as injustice ignites your anger and awaken your inner warrior. You’ll be out to set the record straight for dummies that didn’t get you the first time around — but this will be the last time you will so.

For a look at your "scope" follow the link above!

The Tale of Two Sisters

As I have written here in Cyrsti's Condo over the past week or so, I recently came out to my deceased wife's sister when her mom passed away.

While she "accepted" what I said with few misgivings, naturally she has questions and seemingly, the coming out process with her will be a work in progress with a good ending.

To give you a little background, she was as different from my wife as sisters can be.  She was the wild, flashy daughter and my wife the older, more responsible sister.  In other words, fire and gasoline on occasion - my wife wasn't short on temper. If you saw the arms crossed and the foot tapping, you got the heck away! During my marriage to her sister, she had 27 years to judge me and our relationship from the outside. It turns out that once again, I did a damn good job of being...a guy.  Not only did she not have an inkling of any gender issue I may have had, she keeps wondering how her "seemingly" more conservative sister stayed with me till her death approx eight years ago.

I simply said our business was on a "need to know" basis and no one needed to know.  It was far from easy but that's how it worked.  No one needed to know the "real" reason we were going to Columbus (to hang out as two girls or that when my wife wore makeup, either I did it-or she asked me for advice.)   In essence my wife and I were incredibly public people but no one got in.  Sadly now, my wife's sister is the end of the blood line in her Mom's family and in her own words "I (me) am all she has left, family wise." (No pressure?)

So now she gets to look behind the curtain of how I was able to deal so well with her extremely macho Dad, work a great job and deal with being bi-polar and transgender at the same time (before I really knew what it meant.)  The answer is easy, for the most part it was hell because as I lived a gender lie,  at the same time was selfish and dearly loved her sister, knowing full well I couldn't have both. But, I damn sure tried!

Interestingly, her and my partner Liz - and maybe my daughter to a lesser degree want to take my wife to task for her attitude of drawing the gender line with me.  I never could because, the parameters of her accepting a cross dresser but not a transgender woman were always drawn. I knew deep down inside, runaway trains were heading down my track at each other, only to have both derailed by her death.  At the least you can say, I'm a survivor because I was allowed to get up from the wreck and walk away a better person.

Speaking of Liz, she is due to meet up for the first time this weekend with my wife's sister, who is so paranoid about it. Forget about being transgender and all the easy "stuff" my family just wants to see who can interact with me period!  Keep in mind my first wife (the mother of my child) lives about 6 blocks away from where my wife's sister lives and my deceased wife's ashes are on the mantel.  None of them hate me, I'm just damn hard to live with!  Isn't there a country song "All my Exes Live in Springfield"?

As confusing as all of this is at times, the bottom line is how all of this has turned into such a fascinating look at how good of an actor I really was.

Finally, I have barely touched the surface with her on how she was actually my secret "idol." in so many ways.

I will "post" the results to you later!

"Family Matters!"

"Daddy! Is that you?"

I just found this and decided to pass it along to all of you here in Cyrsti's Condo.  For once I didn't even add one of my smart a-- comments!

Maybe I could call it our "Quote of the Day?"

Cyrsti's Condo "Cover Girl" of the Day

"Too Beautiful for One Gender" describes this photo of yet another Mtf androgynous model Alberto Monterrosas.

Cyrsti's Condo "Sunday Edition"

"Ker Plunk!" Here comes a new Sunday Edition "fresh off the press!"  The coffee pot is on, so have a seat in your comfy "jammies" and lets get started.

Page 1.- Don't Look Now.  The big public relations "splash" this week was when previously androgynous super model Andrej Pejic, came out as transgender woman Andreja.  This move most likely wasn't a complete surprise to those who have followed Pejic's career.

What is important is what she (Andreja) said:  announcing on social media Thursday that she’s officially transitioned from male to female, and that doing so has saved her life.“As a transgender woman I hope to show that after transition (a life-saving process) one can be happy and successful in their new chapter without having to alienate their past,”

Now I would expect her to make talk show rounds on places like "The View" which would bcome decidedly become trans-centric after the recent appearance of Laverne Cox. (**Editor's Note-  maybe closet blond transphobe bigot Jenny McCarthy will keep her moth shut!)
Seriously, when coming out as transgender becomes rather "Ho-Hum" we will finally begin to ascend the power ladder in the GLBT hierarchy.  Pejic's move will certainly help!

Page 2.- Women Drivers?  A topic this week in the "Condo" which garnered much attention were the stories of being "caught" cross dressed as a woman behind the wheel of a vehicle. Just jump back two or three posts and catch up if you haven't!!!!

As Mandy commented, there is really no way to control the other drivers of the world and driving cross dressed (or en femme) does have it's inherent risks.  No way around it.  My original point to the discussion was, if you are really thinking about transitioning further, a little peak into what a woman goes through in a male dominated profession is when you have car problems!  We don't have enough space here for me to tell you all the dumb things I did when I first began to explore the world in my car as my feminine self.  These days though it's a bit different for me since I'm more confident of myself and more apt to understand a man trying to "over explain" why my tire does not hold air!  I'm not above playing  the "dumb woman" card just to get my damn tire changed! Somehow it's Karma. 

FYI Mandy et all, my little prayer for everything I do is, "But by the grace of the Goddess go I!"

Page Three .- Pot Potpourri.  This week I proved once again why I'm not the sharpest tack in the box by not taking my meds right and cheating myself out of approximately six months of a higher dose of the testosterone reducing drug Spiro. As I wrote last week, I really don't "measure" the girls too much but I do know I'm getting close to a full  "C" cup bra these days.  To me one of the bigger changes I have felt is the amount of extra "tissue" under my arms. I am fairly certain my Mom was a "D" or "DD" (we never discussed it) so genetically - on HRT, any thing past a full "C" cup may exceed my expectations.


Once again there seems to be a steady push going on to establish equal rights for transgender veterans.  In many ways, the Andreja Pejic of we trans vets everywhere is former Navy Seal Kristin Beck. (shown at left) It's important to note on Facebook she is pretty much disowning what happened to her in her first book "Warrior Princess". She has a new web site called "Lady Valor" you may want to check out.  The link is above. 

Finally, if you are a transgender vet, there is a survey for you to take from the VA.  If you need the link, please email me- cyrstih@yahoo.com.

Page 4.- The Back Page.  As I said, it has been quite the week around the "Condo" and I soooo appreciate all of "youse girls comments!" "Goddess willing and the creeks don't rise, have a great week!!!"

Pretty Boys and Beautiful Trans Women?

Mandy Sherman and Debra responded to our Cyrsti's Condo most recent Cover Girl of the day post. Mandy said:

"If the model is feminine and pretty in everyday life, spends most of her time as a female, and has trouble "passing" as a male when that is attempted, they probably should consider transitioning. For those going in that direction, best results can be obtained if the person is younger. 

Us old timers would have a much harder row to hoe. "

Certainly Mandy! Model or not, If a person is young enough, certain enough and in a rare nurturing environment-to at the least have the chance to go on puberty blocking drugs would be amazing!  In the meantime, we old timers didn't and have to do the best we can! I tell my mirror to "get over it" daily!

As far as the increasing amount of "androgynous" mtf models go, lets use Canadian Michael Knowlan  (left) as an example.

First, of course I don't know him but:

He reminds me of a "kid" who used to come and perform at an amateur drag night at a gay venue I used to go to.  This "kid" was as completely feminine as any person I had ever seen to that point and I wondered how he functioned at all as a boy?

As you said Mandy, these younger models lifestyles do and will tip their gender preference. Sure, many can look the part but how many want to live the part after they experience it? As we know, the jump from drag or cross dressing to transgender is HUGE! I think there is some sort of inner switch.

Plus, there always is the "Wow" factor going on right now of being a YOUNG mtf androgynous model and age does equal looks in women-unless the woman is on top her game!

My "age" example goes back to 2003 and "Soldier's Girl" and actor Lee Pace.  In the film, he did a wonderful job of portraying transgender woman Calpernia Addams. For the most part , he wasn't recognizable as a guy. Pace is on the right with Calpernia.



 But now he is equally unrecognizable as "her" in his new series called "Halt and Catch Fire."  Good Hollywood makeup to be sure as well as age too!  My point is-it it certainly easier for a pretty boy to transform himself into a beautiful woman but as with anyone else, looks fade with age. Then what?

"Gossiping" about this generation of androgynous, transgender and transsexual models is almost as fun as gossiping about  who is a cross dresser and who isn't in a womanless beauty pageant.

What's really great about this is, it seems the younger generation wouldn't be having this conversation anyway! For sure though,  the new generation of genetic model hopefuls have a whole different set of competition coming their way!

All Cross Dressed and Broken Down!

Unfortunately, I learned quickly in my cross dressing experience-my car wasn't the safe extension of my bedroom mirror at home.  First I had to get to it, potentially drive it past people I knew and hoped it didn't break down.

Again, I wasn't alone and not even on the same continent as we will read from Paula: (Paula's Place)

 A good while back (while Dinosaurs still roamed the Earth) I learned that a car is not a private safe place, I was dressed extremely inappropriately, high heel boots, leopard print tights and leather miniskirt (I know but have got better) not only was I deep in the closet at the time, I was so deep that I also sported a beard! I thought hat I was in a safe private place where I could indulge my little "hobby", and all was fine until I was stopped by the Police and asked to get out of the car so that I could see my tail light was out. The Constable who talked to me was good as gold, but his "mate" in the car behind was wetting himself laughing. Lesson learned!

Damn Paula! with all the love I can muster, rarely do I read of a person who has outdone me in the cross dressing crazy department! I am sure I have been the "butt" of many post "pull overs" police department stories.  Never did catch them laughing to my face!

However, you do bring up a great point.  Before you go into the world trying out all your "girl toys" you need to plan ahead ..at least with a story.  When I was doing drag at gay venues, it was pretty easy for me to tell any questioning cops what I was-doing -drag! If I stopped at a so called straight venue on the way home and got picked out of the crowd as a CD...same story. Most just figured I was a gay guy anyhow in a dress and makeup and left it at that. Those were the days I did though, get approached by quite a few curious genetic women.

I don't think it ever gets easier but now I mostly confuse a lot of people as I transition (next post) and my drivers license picture even looks very androgynous (says male) but is clearly me.  So first and foremost the police know I'm not doing anything terribly bad.  Usually just being stupid.

Transgender Vets! Uncle Sam Wants You!

Don't panic!  Don't be like me and have the reoccurring monthly dream I have about being drafted again! (Really I do!) I do know many of you have many worse dreams you don't talk about!


What I mean is there is a trans vet survey LGBT Survey currently being circulated by the VA.

They request passing along the link by email only.

If you have received crummy or great treatment during your stay in the military or now since discharge...(VA or not)  this is your chance to respond to it. OR if you are feeling trapped and alone-links are provided during the survey to help you!

Email me at cyrstih@yahoo.com if you want the link!

Picking Up Pat!

As promised in our last Cyrsti's Condo post, we were going to visit Pat's "roadside" breakdown:

 I have two events to relate

About a dozen years ago I was on a business trip that involved a 7 hour car ride through the middle of nowhere. I spent a night at a motel and took to the road in the AM wearing a brown skirt, black tank top, hose, heels, wig and makeup. About an hour down the road the car lost power and I saw black smoke billowing from my tail pipe. While the car was still coasting to a stop I stripped the wig, grabbed some slacks and tossed a shirt on top of my bra and tank. I did get a tow to a gas station on the other side of the middle of nowhere in a town with one gas station, one general store and two feed and grain shops, and while Gomer and Guber puttered about there were several other patrons (mostly women) waiting for their cars. I was very conscious of the outline of my bra and tank top and knew that the skirt under my slacks had to look odd and the hose clad ankles could be seen between by pant cuffs and shoes. It was an uncomfortable experience.

About 4-5 years ago I had dressed in a short coral lace dress, hose, heels, etc. and went for the first time to an LGBT bar. I had a few and was pulled over by a cop. Dressed as I was and having had a few adult beverages I chose to just sit, be polite and accept a ticket for speeding at 41 in a 30 MPH zone. Normally I would have had quite a bit to say about getting a ticket for 41 MPH.

As I said Pat, except for a couple different turns along the road (if our vehicles broke down or not) perhaps you would have found yourself on a HRT regimen too.  Mind you, I'm not saying that makes either of us better.

I'm sure we have many other readers here in the Condo, who have had similar experiences on the road and "back in the day" perhaps thought their car was "safe haven" to explore the world and their femininity. 

More on the idea in the next post!

Tow Me Baby!

Well, I'm certainly glad I haven't been the only one of us here in Cyrsti's Condo to be at the mercy of a broken down car and whomever.
I'm going to pass along this experience (and the link for more of it) from Paula, then one from Pat who experiences make her one turn away from being where I am now.

First Paula:

"I showered, shaved, and got myself presentable.   I had a solitary pair of trousers with me and this was the day I wore them, however as they are black slacks with a high waist and no pockets they are obviously fem, especially when coupled with fishnets, court shoes and a black satin blouse, my grey M & S jacket finished off this outfit nicely.   Though I say it myself I thought this was quite a classy look, just the little bit of the fishnets showing on the top of the foot and the odd glimpse of ankle, really making it a little bit special (dare I say sexy), rather than all plan black and grey.

After a good breakfast I was all set.   Unfortunately this was Gloria’s cue for a sulk.   All loaded up and ready to go, apart from a flat battery!   One of the hotel staff tried to give us a jump start but we could just not get enough power across to start the van engine ( a big old diesel can take quite a bit to get it going).   So they called a local garage to come to my help.   I was all packed away and the room had been cleared so the staff invited me to wait in the restaurant area, where the breakfast buffet was still laid out, after a couple of pints of coffee the truck eventually arrived.

I think they were probably pretty quick but when you are waiting these things always seem to take ages, add to that a certain nervousness about dealing with mechanics and garage staff in a language I am uncertain of dressed as was.   I have to say that the chap who came was fine, we just about managed to communicate, and the staff at the garage did there best.   At all times I was addressed either as Madam, or after they had checked the log book etc. as MadamG*&#$%n"

It seems Paula has an affinity for breaking down and in France and "French Loo's" go here to read more:

"On another occasion Gloria broke down in France, that was a lot more complicated full story here http://paula-paulasplace.blogspot.co.uk/2011/10/france-part-5-so-this-was-to-be-my-last.html"

We will get to Pat in the next post, after all she has broken down and isn't going anywhere!!!

It's Backwards-Both Ways

On occasion, even I'm impressed on how poor my communication skills can be especially when we are talking about one of my HRT doctors.  The reason I have two is even though my primary physician at the VA (Veteran's Administration) has a transgender niece, he is still not medically qualified to monitor my blood work and/or estrogen level.  For that I need an Endocrinologist. That's OK because  an elevated estrogen level can cause blood clots.  Especially at my age!

I see my Endo Doc about every six months or so and it always has been a struggle (for whatever reason) for him to write a prescription for what he says he is going to write it for. It took me a couple appointments to get the amount of estrogen I wanted and he said I could have.

Then, there is my other main HRT med, commonly known as "Spiro".  It's also used to control blood pressure but one of it's "side effects" is to lower testosterone. Since I have plenty of blood pressure to control (it's normally high), Spiro was good for me in a couple ways. Somehow though, I was certainly stockpiling enough to last awhile.

In fact, the last couple times I refilled my "Spiro", I wondered why I had more than the pharmacy did!  As I began to think about it, as reticent as the Doc was to give me more estrogen, the more he spoke about upping my dosage of Spiro. That was cool but telling me would have been even cooler! What confused me was somehow he wrote the prescription for double the amount I was taking but the instructions on the pill bottle (from the VA) said otherwise. I was following the instructions and becoming a Spiro "hoarder."

My next appointment with him is in September, so I have plenty of chance to take the right dosage and he can check me for "Low T" and high "E". And yes, I have checked up on the effects of a higher dosage. Plus, I have talked to a couple other trans women who were prescribed even higher dosages. So I should be fine.

What frustrates me though is I actually checked the size of the "girls" and found I am getting comfortably into "C" country.  I may have been able to take up residence there already if the "Doc" and I had been on the same page!

Cyrsti's Condo "Cover Girl" of the Day

Our feature cover today is the androgynous model from Singapore Andrew Semuel.  As a sidelight, I wonder if Andrej Pejic's coming out as transgender will encourage more of the male to female models these days to do the same?

There Are More of Us!

It's been a very exciting week for the transgender community!

As more and more transgender women are not going from one closet to another-by going stealth-much is happening! The message to the world is becoming clearer. We are here, always have been here and will be here!

Laverne Cox  visited  "The View" to talk about her starring role in the Netflix series (Orange is the New Black) , as well her position as one of the most prominent voice for the mainstream transgender community. At one point during the discussion, Whoopi Goldberg brought up how, as the first transgender activist to gain this level of notoriety, Cox had to take the "slings and arrows" of the critics. Cox responded:

"This weekend I was thinking about Sydney Poitier. He won the Academy Award 50 years ago for best actor and it was actually the year the Civil Rights Act was signed. What he says about that moment is that he didn't feel like we had overcome as black actors because he was the only one. And so I think the revolution happens when it's not just me -- there's more of us."

Then, male to female androgynous supermodel Andrej Pejic, (shown below) did what most of us suspected- and came out as transgender.

She is now known as Andreja!

Another Trans Barrier "Crushed!"

Ashley Love (journalist, media advocate), Tamara Adrian (ILGA World Trans Secretariat), Tara Avery (cartoonist, Prism Comics) during this year’s Pride month

Maybe I should say the barrier was dissipated by a death ray? What ever!!! The fact remains
this  year’s Comic Con will hold the first-ever trans-specific panel, Breaking Barriers: Transgender Trends in Popular Culture, marking a positive step forward in comics, film, TV, and pop culture.

While there have been LGBT panels in the past, there have never been one that was solely created for trans panelists. Breaking Barriers will be moderated by trans female comic Tara Madison Avery. Joining Avery on the panel is Dylan Edwards (Transposes), Milanie Gillman (As the Crow Flies), J.D. Saxon (Mahou Shounen Fight!), Elizabeth Lain (F*** the Limit!: The 30-Day Art Project), Ashley Love (Trans Forming Media), and Michelle Nolan (Love on the Racks: A History of American Romance Comics).

Read more on this story from SheWired here.

Be Cool in your "Boyfriend Jacket!

If you would have told me I would have been looking for a light jacket to keep me warm on a July evening last Spring-well, I may have thought you were crazier than I am!

But thanks again to the summer "polar vortex" our evenings here in Ohio are again dipping into the 50's.

Every now and then here in Cyrsti's Condo, I refer to a fashion site called Fabulous after 40, which as the title indicates, focuses on women past the age of 40.  Recently they ran a post called "The Casual Boyfriend Jacket-for Grown Up Girls."  To be honest with you, I didn't quite know the definition of a "boy friend jacket" but liked the transgender irony of it.

Here's the scoop and a picture from "Fab after 40" :

"Have you noticed that as you’ve gotten older your body has gotten softer and rounder and sometimes you don’t look as polished and chic in your clothes as you’d like to?

A simple solution for that is to add a jacket to whatever you happen to be wearing.  You see, a jacket is like hanger. It gives you body structure and shape. Throw one on and you instantly look more polished, slimmer and trimmer.

One of my favorite styles is the boyfriend jacket, which has been pretty popular the last couple of years.

Remember the days when your chivalrous date would lend you his jacket on a chilly evening? That’s the idea behind the boyfriend jacket. It’s a softer, slightly oversized, but not baggy jacket, with a relaxed look and feel. It’s a casual alternative to the fitted blazer, but still looks polished."

I feel better (and a little warmer) because I happen to have what could be referred to as a "boyfriend jacket" in my closet which I used to have to wear back in the day to cover the hair on my arms.  It was difficult to find because of my size of course and it is slightly tailored in at the waist.  It's just a wardrobe basic I have kept over the years and now I'm glad I have.  My "boyfriend" doesn't need it anymore!

For more idea's on the jackets, go here.

Cyrsti's Condo Womanless Pageant OOPS!

I just love this picture which obviously comes from a womanless beauty pageant somewhere...
Check out the expression on the guy's face and the slightly pained look on the cross dressed contestant's face.

From the look on "her" face I wonder where his hand is and what is it doing????

Waitin'-Wishin' and Hopin'

I was going to "expand" on my previous post on the perils of "old rubbers"  and it turns out a comment from Maggie Pope provided the perfect lead in!

wow,
That would be crazy doing the waiting hoping that someone cool shows up,
Great Story & thanks for sharing...

Thanks Maggie!!!!

Looking back, I think being stranded on the side of the road cross dressed as a woman was one of my first - most realistic looks of what women really go through in their lives. First of all, you have to worry about your own security.  What "good Samaritan" might stop by and not be so good quickly.  Second of all, being stranded is a really good way to attract the attention of a cop who happens by (doesn't have to be bad though-could be worse!) Last but not least, as I have written in the last Cyrsti's Condo post, the attitude of who picks you up for a tow or changes your tire has wildly fluctuated for me over the years.

Of course the feminizing effects of HRT and the confidence to be myself as I have transitioned has eased the pressure somewhat, but past experiences (not unlike rest room nightmares) just stay with me.

The worst I mentioned.  The driver was so evil, the company had to send someone with him.  He was scary and of course it was at night and i had to ride in the cab with him until he got my car home.  Then there was the driver who talked all the way about having a family remember who was gay or "like me." He was a little goofy but harmless.  Then there was the driver (along with the sheriff) who refused to pay attention to any ideas I had on how to get to my house.  It was my first real first hand experience of losing intelligence as I changed genders.

As a point of reference, I do need to point out all of these experiences have happened over 7 or 8 years.

I do think the most frustrating flat tire I ever had was after a particularly blissful afternoon at the salon and as I was riding the crest of just knowing I had reached an all time high of being beautiful- BOOM! Momma Karma comes along and says "wait girly girl" this flat tire will bring you back down to earth!  You know too, you can't argue with "Momma"!

Old Rubbers Keep You in the Gutter

I'm am the first to admit, during the many years now I have been behind the wheel of car, I have been legendary for not driving on the best tires.

Recently though, I have been trying to clean up my act and actually up grade my tires and yes, even buy a new one every now and then.  If there is such a thing as "tire karma", it caught up with me the other day.  I had a flat (only on one side) on literally one of the best tires I have owned for awhile. Yes, I know it is sad I can remember.

As a back up plan, I shell out money for a membership to a certain well known road side auto service, who by the way, has been a life saver for me over the years.  It's been a guilty pleasure of mine to stand back and watch a guy change my tire- BUT!  The process of getting him there and doing it has been scary a couple times.

Years ago, I had one driver who had to tow my car some distance and basically refused to because of me, until they made him do it. (You may remember it from an older Cyrsti's Condo post.

Anymore though, the only real issue is the lack of me presenting a feminine voice on the phone.  I just do a terrible job and for some reason just haven't put the work into a transitioning my voice the way I have the rest of my body...on the phone. Yes, I have read the thousand ideas on how to do it but I'm lazy and my friends accept me the way I am.

Back to the phone situation...I called the service and gave them my very female name and all the info about where I was and was mis-pronouned all the way.  Didn't care, just wanted my tire fixed! Plus the person was professional and polite. I certainly didn't feel the need to get into a conversation about transgender women!

As I was left to wait and worry though about what sort of driver was going to show up to fix my tire (on a hot humid evening)  I think my blood pressure was near a boiling point.

Turns out I didn't have to worry.  He cheerfully fixed my tire, needlessly explained why he thought such a fine piece of engineering blew out and - called me mam.

Again I was allowed to enjoy watching a man do all the heavy lifting for me, although I don't recommend the process! Although I seeming have a real need to do things the hard way, this wasn't one of them!

Cyrsti's Condo "Remembers"

Aleshia Brevard, Actress, Writer, Director, Professor, and the first transsexual in primetime TV:

Follow the link above to her website!

Draco and the "Girls"

To clarify, the Draco in this post is my trans man friend and "the girls" are my breasts.

The reason I'm bringing Draco up again is he is having his FtM top surgery in a couple days.  For those of you who do not know what that is- he is surgically having his breasts removed.  At the same time of course that I am celebrating mine.  I wish him all the best of course and marvel at all he has taught me- if he knows it or not.  To catch all you newer Cyrsti's Condo visitors up, Draco and I go way back and essentially started to transition at the same time- although he has gone way past where I am. (Damn testosterone! :) )

From the first time I met Draco, he just didn't register female at all although I think he was struggling in the lesbian gray area sometimes called "Super Butches". Now his face is squaring off, his voice is going through puberty and if he isn't shaving yet...it's coming soon.  Good for him!

Being the gentleman that he has always been, he did offer to let me have his breasts.  But somehow, medical science hasn't caught up with that yet!  I do marvel though, at how breasts go so far in defining a gender.  He needs his gone to define him as a man and of course when I wake up in the morning with the girls, my mind thinks this is the way I was always supposed to be. And, how are the girls?  Since my two mammograms, much has happened. The first is my girls seem to be less dense and  filling out more in all directions. I'm noticing more development under my arms and in the area between the girls primarily.

So thanks anyhow Draco for your offer to share - you know I appreciate it!

I will be thinking of you the next couple days and wishing you a speedy recovery!!!! I know you have waited a long time!!!

The "Allure" of a Boy in a Dress

In this sense, the "boy" doesn't have to be chronologically young, some males just never make it to "manhood".  It's just another of my pet peeves when someone on television says a transgender woman was born a man.  She was born male physically.

It's also no secret an easy way to make money for an organization is to find several "willing" participants who will dress as women.  Whatever the individual's motivation, some boys just make great looking girls or women.  Just look around at your local drag shows at the gay venues.

The blond is thinking - Really! Isn't that dress a bit too much!!! Bitch!!

Of course drag queens are one thing, but the allure of you and your male buddies just sitting around drinking beer and being asked to don women's clothes and makeup is a real fantasy.  Sort of like another chance at Halloween.  As attractive as some of the womanless pageant contestants were (or are), I am sure for most it's a "one and out" experience.  But for others, you just have to believe it isn't-and that too is part of the fantasy.

One thing is for sure, if you are attractive at all and there is a picture posted of you on line, it very well could be there for eternity. Cyrsti's Condo is an example. And, of course I have to make an off the comment being the cynical bitch I love to be!

I just found a couple other sites on Pinterest which have womanless pageant "boards" and of course there is the amazing center of womanless pageant pictures on Stana's Femulate site.

Damn Jim, the queen just invited us to amateur night at his gay club. Don't tell the girlfriends! 

Cyrsti's Condo "Quote of the Day"

"Just another gnat swimming in the great beer foam of life!"

Cyrsti Hart

Cyrsti's Condo "Cover Girl" of the Day

I couldn't resist passing along this soft and seductive shot of androgynous Alicia Pieta here in the Condo:

A Cup Half Empty or Half Full?

Referring back to the previous post here in Cyrsti's Condo about Pat's Trans Dar sighting, most have commented how incredibly great it was she was working there at all.  Hopefully (if she was transgender), we are at the least beginning to be employed in various different jobs in the economy.  All too often I think I'm guilty of thinking the majority of transgender women who can find work at all, find it with larger more diverse corporations.  Simply landing a job and living as we want is more like a "cup completely full."

As far as hers, chipped fingernail polish, pink tennis shoes etc, the cup is half empty. Then again,  Joni made the comment "maybe she will learn."

It has been my experience a great majority learn the basics of presenting as a woman from our own mothers. Others are "coached" from the girls sandbox.  The managers I respected the most in the restaurant business were the women.  They of course had to play both sides of the gender power struggle.  The simple answer for chipped finger nail polish was you can remove it as fast as it went on.  In all fairness to Lowes, I have seen few cashiers with long beautiful manicured nails but even fewer with ugly chipped polish. As thin as my nails have become (because of HRT), I normally have to work on them every night, just to look natural, clean and presentable. Polish is saved for special occasions.

As far as the shoes go and the 1960's men's pants on my "trans dar" woman, it's simply sad they had no one to say, hey, here is a better way.

Which leads me to "My cup is half empty" thought.  I have seen and known several transgender women in my past who after the "gender transition" buzz was over, they simply got tired of the work it takes for any female to present as a woman. No I'm not talking about magazine fashion models, I'm talking about women like my daughter with three kids.  It's no accident a recent study approximated a woman puts three times more into grooming than a man and a transgender woman has to put even more effort into appearance just to navigate the world.

But hopefully the Lowes employee is like the trans woman Liz and I see working at a convenience store close to her (and the one who openly worked where I live)-good for them! If they know it or not they are a beacon of hope to many of us!  Now, go fix that polish woman! You don't want to draw extra attention to thick hands!!!

Make it difficult on Pat's wife!!!!