Showing posts from December, 2017

Survival and the Trans Girl

Here in Cyrsti's Condo recently, we have been exploring the relationship between cross dressers and LGBT transgender women. As happens so many times around here, a couple of you regulars bring another sense of clarity to the subject. As in this comment from Connie" " For me, being a transgender woman involved cross dressing as a means of survival until I could finally express and present myself completely. It was a combination of luck and a lot of hard work. The middle-ground became less and less an option, although I remained there for many years. I could no longer be disingenuous, however, and I believe that those close to me could sense that, as well. Had I been satisfied with occasional cross dressing, I would not have felt myself to be disingenuous. As I am a musician and performer, I could easily have been a drag performer, but I never saw myself as one. My wife, in our early conversations, thought it to be acceptable for me to combine my "passion" fo

Climbing Walls

As 2017 comes to an end, it's time to reassess the year and look ahead to 2018. As I look at my life, I consider my Mtf transgender transition not unlike climbing a series of walls. Of course, some, like HRT or having legal gender markers changed are more serious than others. 2017 was fairly quiet for me. I look back at the year as one of stabilization. I was able to continue living day to day as a woman and learned from it...although not as dramatically as earlier in my transgender life. Since I have been on HRT steadily now for three plus years and have even completed all my legal gender markers changes which are possible, what is next? I still would love to have breast augmentation surgery someday to compliment my hip developement, but finances continue to be a issue in the near future. Other than that, I still need to work on projecting an "aura" of femininity. I feel the need to out do cis women in this area, as they take their femininity for granted. Some,

It's OK!

As I wrote in the last Cyrsti's Condo post, there is plenty of room to differentiate cross dressers and transgender women. An example is one of the professed cross dressers who comes to one of my transgender support group meetings. She is quite attractive and seems to be quite secure in who she is. She says she is satisfied with a life that has her looking like a cis woman part time and living like a guy the rest. Yes, she is married. Granted, to be able to live like she does, one has to have an understanding spouse. I wonder too, if the number of trans nazi's who drift through the group, influence her too. Several just aren't pleasant people and don't seem to be secure in their Mtf transition. One is even a total "IQ-45"(Rump) fan, which I can't come close to understanding. She went through SRS several years ago and just has a level of meanness which doesn't lurk so far beneath the surface. Of course, being trans is not just a trait you someho

More Cross Dressers Versus Transgender Women

Here in Cyrsti's Condo last week, we examined briefly, the subject of cross dressers and how they relate to transgender women, if at all. Some feel cross dressing is simply a fetish activity which is essentially harmless, while others are fairly sure being a cross dresser is a gateway to becoming transgender over the years. Paula Goodwin sent in an interesting comment: " Paula Goodwin December 28, 2017 at 1:10 PM I think we are all part of the same family, different expression of the same issues, different situations, allowing different levels identity expressions. Of course our different situations also mean we have to find conformation of our identities in different ways. Today I can go out into society socialising, shopping, working and play authentically, much of this is inaccessible to the cross dresser, who is only allowed outings on high days and holidays, or maybe not at all. For them the selfie may be the only authentication they can receive. Our social group i

Meeting of the Minds

Yesterday marked the first time ever I was able to assemble two out of three or four of the most important people who helped me along with my Mtf transgender transition. Liz was off of work for the holidays and made the journey with me to my VA therapist who initially approved my request for HRT. Some four plus years ago. My partner Liz of course was instrumental in always viewing me as a woman, trans or not. She also helped me ( and or pushed me) into doing all the work to change my legal gender markers (possible). It meant a lot to me to tell both of them how much it meant to me and of course, they were gracious and deflected all the praise back on me. We LGBT trans women know though that throughout our transgender journey's, there are more than a couple of individuals who help us along. Knowingly or not. I have written many times here in Cyrsti's Condo of my deceased wife of twenty five years calling me the "pretty, pretty princess" who only wanted to exp

Three Years Yesterday

If you are not aware, it was almost exactly three years ago when transgender teenager Leelah Alcorn stepped out in front of an interstate bound semi truck and ended her own life. More than allegedly, she was forced into a Christian conversion therapy program by her Evangelical leaning parents which went terribly wrong. This happened just Northeast of Metro Cincinnati. Perhaps Leelah's legacy has not been forgotten, as another misguided mother in the area ended up losing her transgender child (so far) into court ordered foster care. Again, so called "Christian" therapy was called into question. Supposedly, the trans kid was subjected to being force fed six hours of Bible verses a day. While it seems, some parents never learn, maybe society is coming around to protect transgender kids subjected to this terrible activity.

Transgender New Years

As promised, Connie's reply to Marcia's Cyrsti's Condo comment: " Marcia December 23, 2017 at 8:37 PM Thank you Cyrsti and a huge thank you to Connie. This post really spoke to me. I am currently very much in limbo, a foot in each gender I am doing all the footwork (at 57) to be three dimensional and fully me in 2018. " F ABULOUSCONNIEDEE December 26, 2017 at 5:53 PM Marcia, I am happy what I said resonated with you. It was in my 57th year that I recognized a breakthrough in my own transition. Yes, the footwork is very important, as are the "headwork" and "heartwork." In my evaluation, transition never really ends, and the work doesn't, either. I get a "word of the day" in my inbox each day, and I think that today's is a good one for some of what I had said in my comment. The word is: abeyance noun | uh-BAY-unss Definition 1 : a state of temporary activity : suspension — used chiefly in the phrase in abeyanc

New Year's Resolution

The beginning of a New Year is always a great time to make a resolution (or two) and make changes in your life. Rarely though, does a human being have a chance to make a resolution as momentous as changing one's gender. Indirectly, it happened to me. Even though, I had decided it was time for me to MtF gender transition from part-time cross dresser to full time transgender woman, I had not started my hormone therapy. As luck would have it, I received my first prescription of estrogen just around the middle of December. I decided to wait until New Years Eve  to take the first pill with Liz at my side. This was nearly four years ago and I was to start HRT on a minimum dosage for the first six months to check for any adverse reactions.  After the first six months, I proceeded to have my dosage increased to what my Doctor perceived was still a safe dosage. Eventually I switched to the Estradiol patches which I am on today. As New Years Eve approaches again, Liz and I will tak

Oil and Water?

A follow up post about the site I recently linked to here on Cyrsti's Condo, will refer to the possibility of bridging the gap between cross dressers and transgender women. Sometimes I wonder if we are the equivalent of oil and water mixing. Of course, during the stages of a Mtf gender transition, many of us pass through being what we believe to be a cross dressing period. Then gradually we find,being feminine is a natural way of life for us and we begin to think of ourselves as transgender. This transition makes it incredibly difficult for us to explain to a spouse, family or friend what is going on with us. Simply wanting to wear clothes of the opposite gender is easier to pass off (no pun intended) than wanting to switch and live full time. Also, the incredible tiny yet huge differences between the binary genders can not be easily explained or even learned without real life experience. I do think cross dressers can understand transgender women and vice versa. It;s ha

Time Heals All?

Well, not quite, but at the least, time does have the benefit of softening unpleasant memories. In a recent comment on a Cyrsti's Condo post, Connie mentions (among other things) the concept of my deceased wife eventually coming to terms with and/or accepting me being a transgender woman:   " FABULOUSCONNIEDEE December 25, 2017 at 11:19 PM It's coming up on ten years when my wife and I finally started dealing, truthfully, with my gender identity. She had not been happy with my cross dressing, and it was about to end our then 35 years of marriage. We reached an agreement that allowed me to be myself, Connie, on a semi-regular basis, although not with family and old friends. Her one demand, at the time, was that, if I grew breasts, I would be out of here. Over time, we have transitioned together, and she may even feel a little sorry for me that I am unable to undergo HRT for medical reasons. Your wife may have relented over time, as well. My mother and my brother bot


I removed the HTML link and post concerning the cross dresser - transgender woman union site after I was researching it closer and my anti virus protection kicked one of their links out. Beware and I am sorry. I will find out more! It all could be harmless...then again maybe not.

Ghosts of Christmas Past

Christmas Day brings back memories of my deceased wife, who was hugely into Christmas. Even to the point of having a separate gift exchange for my cross dressing self. She had very few problems with my cross dressing, but made it very clear she couldn't accept any part of me being transgender. So, I did the unnatural thing...I hid it. Every Christmas Eve though, I couldn't wait to open my "girl gift", which normally was a very nice sweater, or a sweater/skirt set. I remember being quite fond of a fuzzy tight fitting pale blue sweater I received one year. My wife has been gone now almost nine years, and it took me a good seven to even begin to celebrate the season again. But with the help of Liz, I have (although we actually celebrate "Yule" on a separate day.)  Overcoming 65 plus years of Christmas with all of it's fond family memories is something I don't want to forget. I found I have to put the whole season in perspective, even with the

Merry Christmas!

I hope this Cyrsti's Condo post finds you safe,well and taking a moment to celebrate whatever religion you believe in! Also, thank you sooo much for stopping by the blog as much as you do. It means a lot! Happy Holidays!

Happy? Holidays?

Very simply, the holidays are a tough, tough time for a significant percentage of LGBT people. Not everyone has been accepted by their families, or has been able to find an extended family of like minded our case, transgender individuals. Perhaps you remember the Cyrsti's Condo post about the on-line counseling services offered by the  BetterHelp group. In my correspondence with them, I asked if they had any services directed towards the LGBT community. Recently, I received a fantastic response, a " Pride Counseling Lis t" of phone numbers (including other countries) which can provide you with a quick help line in times of dire need. The overall link to the "BetterHelp" site is located on my "blog list" "Do You Wanna Hook Up" located on the right front page of the blog towards the bottom. Or you can go here . Please always remember, if you are depressed and stuck in the closet (like I was for years) your life too, can

Every Once in a While!

Yesterday was one of those "A-Ha!" moments when I happened to get a quick glimpse of what the future holds for me on HRT. If you are not familiar, hormone replacement therapy happens in stages too, not unlike the rest of your Mtf transition. Of course, your change will depend on upon dosage and levels of testosterone already in your body. Always remember, estrogen will only take you so far, then has the potential to be very toxic. Initially the first changes I felt were with emotions and with increased tenderness in my breast area. Overtime, my breasts filled out to perhaps a small "D" cup and my hair went positively nuts. Along the way too, my body hair began to thin out. Finally, my hips began to fill out as I saw for the first time yesterday. I could see what could/would have been, had I been born a cis woman. You also need to remember with me, my advanced age (68) and the amount of time (6 months) I spent off HRT when I had the liver/iron problems. Add i

The Essence of Feminity

Connie delves into the "earth being flat" or the essence of femininity: " FABULOUSCONNIEDEE December 21, 2017 at 12:13 PM Mirrors and pics are two-dimensional. Depending upon them to affirm a trans woman's femininity leaves that femininity two-dimensional, as well. One of my favorite things to say is that a trans woman can't really see herself fully until she sees her own reflection in the eyes of others. Reaching the third dimension requires much effort - even more than all of the primping and posing it takes to make a good picture. Simply attempting to achieve a physically passing appearance becomes, at some point, a flat existence. I know there are many who would argue that their cross dressing experiences are not flat and two-dimensional. They might say that their feminine self is nothing more than an extension of their three-dimensional male self. I understand it because, well, "been there, done that." As for myself, I had reached a point where

Comment from Google Plus Reader

This came from Jean- Paul on Google Plus: Hi first of all, please excuse my intrusion into your world but could you accept that the fact that we find ourselves on this same network takes me to take part of your profile which has caught all my attention which I hasten to give full satisfaction, daring to hope that you are well and that you pass an excellent and in case you come back in knowledge of my mail and whatever your answer, know that it is in all friendship that the read, thank you for your understanding! " First of all, thank you Jean-Paul and indeed I am well as I hope you are too! This is a reminder  you can reach me  on my email (which is on the blog page "contact me". If you wnat the question/comemment to be private, just tell me) also I am on Facebook and Twitter. What ever method you choose, thnaks soooo much!

The Two Second Challenge

The second part of the previous Cyrsti's Condo post, addresses the two second gender challenge. In fact It's one of the topics I was educating my therapist about yesterday in our transgender veteran support group. I have read studies in the past which have said the average human forms a gender determination in a space of two seconds. In my stages of transition, I believe I have reached the point of having a fighting chance of being considered feminine with the majority of strangers I encounter these days. More likely than not, I try to be ultra friendly (with a smile) the first time I meet someone, so they will pleasantly remember me when and if I see them again. I learned the "second meeting" idea when I first started to go out as a cross dresser and the people who encountered me a second time expected me to interact with them. It was when I first learned I could (and wanted) to be a functioning transgender woman outside of my closet. These days, I feel it&

To Be ...or Not To Be

There are two huge questions we face as we go through the "stages of MtF gender transition." One of which is the pesky "passing" question. If you go back through all the very old Cyrsti's Condo's posts you may notice an inordinate amount of them have to do with how I looked. Over time though, I became less and less obsessed  and more concerned with how I felt. In addition, you probably noticed, many of the pictures I use are dated. Connie noticed: (Thanks!) FABULOUSCONNIEDEE December 20, 2017 at 11:12 AM "You forgot to take a selfie?!? Now, that marks a point of transition. It's a long way from being obsessed with taking selfies, anyway. Although I have never been one for taking selfies, it seems to be a pretty popular thing to do within the trans community, especially among the cross dressing faction." I think there is a certain sense of pride in all the work it takes to transform one's self from a man to a woman for a selfie at

The Everyday Life of an Everyday Transgender Blogger

When I embarked on writing Cyrsti's Condo some five plus years ago (thanks to Connie) I barely knew what a blog was, let alone write one. Then I found out how many bloggers don't post everyday. Early in the process, writing everyday was a challenge (yes), but on the other hand, a much easier one in that the whole process was so bright, shiny and new. In my pet "levels of transition" the first big level of stepping out into the world as a real live trans woman. Echoing my sentiment in many ways is fellow blogger Paula Goodwin :  Paula Goodwin December 19, 2017 at 6:57 AM "As things progress it does become very difficult to find things to write about, when I started Paula's Place each outing was worth at least four posts, as I planed my outfit, my route and everything else down to the smallest detail to avoid any risk, then I could usually mange at least a couple of posts, on what I did, how I felt and what people's reactions were. Now it's just e

"Trans Trippin Bout 'Nuttin"

As previously mentioned here in Cyrsti's Condo, I spent most of my day yesterday traveling the one hundred mile trip to attend one of my transgender veteran support group. I wore dark gray leggings which closely matched my charcoal boots with my new dark forest green fuzzy sweater with the lace inserts. I paired it all with a pair of rose gold hoop earrings and one of the hand knitted beige scarves which Liz made for my black leather hip length jacket. I was trying to remember to get a selfie, but yesterday was so screwed I forgot. As far as the sparsely attended meeting went, I ended up speaking about a specialty wig shop in Dayton, Ohio and my theory about the different levels of MtF gender transition. Nothing too exciting. I ended up packing some items I need to sell from my warehouse I am closing in Springfield (Ohio) and a load of trash. So, the day was overall less than a glamorous excursion. Such is life as a full-time transgender woman.

Monday Blues?

This is another one of those days when my Cyrsti's Condo's blog ideas are difficult to come by. After all, you have probably noticed, I have relied heavily on the creativity of regular readers'comments to provide quality content. I have even written about going stealth as a transgender woman. It's also difficult to write about every time I go out as a trans woman, because I am living 24/7. Our weekly shopping trip to the grocery store yesterday was predictably boring. Except the cash out girl who gave me the "princess" look when I balked at helping to bag the groceries. Liz would have killed me! I suppose I should be happy she thought enough of me to fire off the powerful woman to woman non verbal communication. So, let's jump ahead. Tomorrow, I am going to another transgender or even LGBT support group meeting in Dayton, Ohio. Normally, I have a person or so I need to write about, but lately I haven't even seen the "on again" - "o

Transitioning Around Transitioning

As I have mentioned many times here in Cyrsti's Condo, there are many stages in a Mtf transition. Very rarely I suppose, does a transgender woman wake up early in her transition and say "this is the day", go out and throw her male clothes in the trash. Personally, I think I went through at least distinct transitions before I arrived at the point I am today. Let's check in on Connie's ideas: " FABULOUSCONNIEDEE December 16, 2017 at 11:43 AM In my mind, I had begun transition about 18 months before I went full-time living as a woman. There had been little doubt that I was ready (long overdue, really) to live as my true self, but I felt obligated to others to plan and allow them to transition along with me. That is, family and friends were more important to me than whatever solace my transition may have brought me. By that time, I had already been living 80% as a woman, which was pretty easy. The last 20% took a lot of work, however. The 80% was in terms

Rugby Mini Dress

Thanks to all of you who continue to help me to write Cyrsti's Condo! These comments from Paula and Michelle deserve to be repeated: Paula Goodwin December 15, 2017 at 1:16 PM "I always thought that American Football was a girls game anyway! Sometimes when I am with friends who have known me for a long time, and the conversation turns to my game (Rugby Union ~ I played in the front row!) anyone who overhears the conversation can get a little confused. I am sure that there are some men who have felt their masculinity undermined when somebody as apparently Macho as I appeared to be rejects their own masculinity, but, I suspect that this often indicates a lack of security in their own sexuality or masculinity. I make it point of pride only to wear rugby shirts of teams I have played for or against, I still have the shirt I used at my last club, it's just that now I wear it as a mini dress! Michelle Hart December 15, 2017 at 2:53 PM I had to laugh when you

We Made the Cut!

In an ever increasing attempt to curtail free speech in this country, the orange menace (Rump) and crowd have banned certain words for government agencies to use...including transgender. Here is more from the Washington Post:  " By  Lena H. Sun  and  Juliet Eilperin   December 15 at 6:53 PM   The Trump administration is prohibiting officials at the nation’s top public health agency from using a list of seven words or phrases — including “fetus” and “transgender” — in any official documents being prepared for next year’s budget. Policy analysts at the  Centers for Disease Control and Prevention  in Atlanta were told of the list of forbidden words at a meeting Thursday with senior CDC officials who oversee the budget, according to an analyst who took part in the 90-minute briefing. The forbidden words are “vulnerable,” “entitlement,” “diversity,” “transgender,” “fetus,” “evidence-based” and “science-based.” And: " The question of how to address such issues as sexu

Decisions, Decisions

Paula Goodwin responded to our Cyrsti's Condo post about going full time as a transgender woman: Paula Goodwin December 15, 2017 at 7:24 AM "Making the decision to stay full time in one gender is not an easy one, particularly for those of us of more mature year! After living many years presenting one gender to then make a permanent switch takes a lot of thought. For me I felt I had to try out what it was like doing real life things presenting as a woman, not just the fun things like going out to concerts, bars or galleries. I joined an orchestra as Paula and found that I enjoyed my music more and played with more sensitivity (as much as is possible on the bass trombone!) and that I was just more comfortable. I would strongly recommend trying some real life experiences before making the decision, after all it may be possible to go back after going 24/7 but it could be both difficult and embarrassing!" Thank you Paula! I can't imagine ever going back, although I

What Makes a Man a Man?

Briefly, a couple of posts ago here in Cyrsti's Condo, we discussed how (for the most part) cis-men are intimidated by transgender women. It's another complicated topic with no easy answers, but there are a couple. First, many men cling tenuously to their manhood to start with. Manhood is so confined, as compared to womanhood. After-all, woman have the children, keep a home and these days most must work too. Men have ego's which need to be maintained, etc. Also the domains previously reserved for men are shrinking. Sports are a prime example. When, we, as trans women have played sports (and still have an active interest in) in our past, it's a problem with some men. Take Connie for example: "I don't know if my high school successes as a football player intimidates any man, but I have disappointed a few who think that I was fooling them. I did play football as a diversion; a diversion for myself and a diversion for others to have no idea that I had a secre

What If

I dwell on this topic quite a bit it seems. Perhaps it's because I get asked the question about what it's like to go "full time" as a transgender woman. All of a sudden, it wasn't which gender I was going to a party as, it became what I was going to find to wear. As a woman, I didn't want to embarrass myself. Didn't want to under-dress or over- dress for the evening. In many ways, it's a tough question, yet easy to answer. First of all, it is different than anything I ever imagined. Back in my cross dressing days, I was obsessed with so called "passing." Now I'm obsessed with looking the best I can and letting the cards fall where they may. Along the way, I have crossed so many frontiers, they are hard to remember. Communication barriers arose the more I lived as a woman. Both genders communicated with me different. For the most part I was ostracized by men and treated with curiosity by women. Along the way, I just came to expect it.

Success in Columbia?

From the Washington Blade: BOGOTÁ, Colombia — A transgender woman who is running for the Colombian Senate hopes to make history in the South American country. Tatiana Piñeros on Monday formally registered her candidacy with Colombian election officials. Piñeros is ninth among the list of candidates for the “List of Decency” — a coalition that includes the center-left Independent Social Alliance and Patriotic Union parties and the Indigenous and Social Alternative Movement. Congressional elections are scheduled to take place on March 11. Piñeros would become the first openly trans person elected to the Colombian congress if she receives enough votes. “We need to have new voices,” she told the Washington Blade on Tuesday from the Colombian capital of Bogotá. “We need new leaders.” For more, go here .

We Got Mail

We received several great comments on the Cyrsti's Condo post " He Protests too Much " here they are: " FABULOUSCONNIEDEE December 13, 2017 at 11:55 AM Yeah, I like girls.....and football too! So what? Lots of women, trans and cis do, as well. How old is this guy, and how long has he been cross dressing? I spent most of my life questioning my gender identity, not coming to such conclusions as that. Obviously, though, he picked the wrong crowd to make that proclamation. When I came out to my family, my then 15-year-old grandson had two concerns: Would I leave his grandmother, and did I still like football. No, and yes were my answers, and everything was cool. I hope this cross dresser can open his mind as much as a 15-year-old. Paula Goodwin December 13, 2017 at 1:59 PM I am so tempted to repeat my favorite joke, you know the one, "What's the difference between a crossdresser and a trans sexual?" ~ "about three years" (act

Me Thinks He Protests too Much!

At our transgender support group meeting last night, I heard a self professed cross dresser say emphatically he couldn't be transgender because he likes women. The whole outburst was a little unnerving to me because he looked straight (no pun intended) at me when he said it. I simply said, don't tell my cis-woman partner of five plus years I can't like women because I'm trans. From there, and I am not sure he listened, other's in the room tried to explain the difference between gender (between the ears) and sexuality (between the legs). I guess I shouldn't have been surprised at his lack of understanding and hopefully a few more statements such as that will help him to understand. Plus, it just so happens, I know at least a couple more of the participants are married to, or live with cis women and a couple more participants are bi-sexual. A learning experience for him to be sure. I hope a positive one. Perhaps too, if you have heard the old saying &quo

How Did I Get Here?

I used to write anti stealth posts here in Cyrsti's Condo about transgender women transitioning and then going stealth, to be never heard from again. Many years later, I find myself in the same spot. It has occurred to me I am the trans stealth person now for a couple of reasons. The first being, I really don't care what the public thinks of me and if the truth be known, most need to see and/or interact with a transgender person anyhow. The second reason being is I think I am better in living a feminine lifestyle. Or, at the least I am used to it, through more error than trial over the years. I have settled in to the person I thought I could become and blend with other cis-women in the world. In other words, going stealth was a natural turn of events. After all, I went through all the trouble of having my legal gender markers changed to female. I used to see "landmarks" in my MtF gender transition.  Now all I see is life. So I guess, stealth is good after al

It's Amazing!

Well once again, it seems the "Dumptster" has been dealt dual set backs in his quest to deny transgender troops the right to serve in the military. A third judge as well as the Pentagon itself has said after January first, trans woman and trans men can enlist and serve in the U.S. military. Since the people's minority president spends four hours of his day watching television, I'm sure he will be finding other activities to zero in on, like screwing up the Middle East or starting a nuclear war. Locally, the news concerning trans students in a local school district was not good. Last night a major school district in the Cincinnati area voted not to extend LGBT transgender protections to their students. Of course the meeting was packed by local alt right Evangelicals who shot it down. To but it into perspective, this is close to the same area as Leelah Alcorns' parents live. Not so amazing. I wish I could have written a "fluff" post today. But, I jus

The Pendulum Swings

I believe the winding course which takes us from being a part time cross dresser to a full time transgender woman has a pendulum. It swings back and forth until you decide on the feminine person you ultimately will become as you regain your heritage. You may always want/need to dress in heels and hose or (on the other hand) you may end up loving your girl jeans and boots. It's trans human nature, sort of like being a princess, per Connie: " FABULOUSCONNIEDEE December 10, 2017 at 4:05 PM It's OK to feel like a princess once in a while. In fact, every woman - cis or trans - has a right to it. Looking back, I see that my cross dressing experiences were like crossing a line each time. I was feeling the princess in me, but I was simultaneously trying to block out the essence of my self in order to do so. Soon after entering the women's world 24/7, I found myself more in a zone - a zone in which I might feel like a chambermaid one moment, and a princess the next.  Th

You Are Nothing...

It's been awhile here in Cyrsti's Condo since I have discussed my most prized health.  You may (or may not) remember, I ran into some fairly serious iron problems in my blood in 2015. The issue wasn't a lack of iron, it was too much.  If the problem was not brought under control, liver damage would result. To make a long story short, I was taken off my precious estrogen until it was and in the meantime my hands were breaking out in sores, again until my iron could be brought under control. After seeing a number of VA (Veterans Administration) doctors, one diagnosed my problem and set out to help me take care of it. He ordered me to undertake a series of Phlebotomy's until my iron was back under control. Here is a partial explanation: "Phlebotomy is a clinical procedure in which blood is taken out from your body. People suffering from conditions such as  hemochromatosis , where there is an excess of iron content in the blood, or polycythemia, wh

Jump! ...Suit

I was watching one of Liz's sewing shows this morning on one of our PBS television channels. Liz is a seamstress and the show's theme today was the returning popularity of the pants or jump-suit for women. The show brought back many memories I had about a black jump-suit I just loved back in the day...when they were in style. I remember I was lucky to find it in my size in a deep discount store and it fit wonderfully. The only problem was when I had to potty, I had to almost take it all off. Ancient picture of the wig I wore with the pants-suit The jumpsuit was also what I wore on the evening I chose to go out and seriously begin to live as a transgender woman. It was also the first night I can remember I was making a conscious choice to move from a cross dresser to a trans woman. Perhaps you remember the Cyrsti's Condo post detailing the extreme fear I felt on the evening. The "suit" helped me to succeed that night because it was upscale and fit in with

Reality or Fantasy?

Back in the day, my deceased wife and I would engage in many discussions/arguments over my cross dressing only being fantasy based and having nothing to do with knowing how a "real" woman lived. Little did she know, when she called me the "Pretty, pretty princess" I was motivated to learn exactly what she was talking about...learn how to live as a "real" woman. It turns out Connie had a similar experience: FABULOUSCONNIEDEE December 9, 2017 at 2:10 PM "As we both heard from our spouses early on, "You just want all the fun parts of being a girl!" For me, that comment made me really examine my gender identity. It caused me, at once, both shame and indignation. I hated myself for living out a fantasy at the expense of our relationship, but how dare she say that it was only a fantasy! By all appearances, though, she was right. I had been holding back my real femininity in order to be able to compartmentalize my feminine and masculine pres

How High or Low can You Go?

Liz was discussing with me my Cyrsti's Condo post about the socialization similarities between cis and transgender women. I'm paraphrasing here, but she said she thought many cross dressers and/or trans women don't understand the seriousness cis women grow up with, when life comes down to appearance. How a whole day can be ruined when an outfit is under appreciated. On the other hand she agreed with me when I brought up how good we can feel the moment we sense everything has come together and we look the best we can. She also said, most cis women pass through a certain time of their lives when they are sure they look their best. But, as time passes by, the cis woman has to rely on other features to make them still feel attractive. That's why, I do my best to take care of my aging skin. If you are on a budget and have an "Big Lots" store nearby, they sell cosmetic facial wipes for around a dollar a pack (30 wipes.) My personal faves are the "green