Welcome to Reality

Out with my girls. Liz on left, Andrea on
right.

I worked very hard to get to the point where I could live as a transgender woman. 

Once I began to arrive, I understood the real work was still ahead. When I finally began to establish myself as a new person, I needed to start all over again. It primarily affected me when I was in a conversation with other women, since men barely talked to me at all. Main examples came when I was invited to several girl's nights out. I learned to interject my family experiences in the older group of women. Instead of saying I was specifically a mother or a father in my life, I said I was a parent to a daughter I was very proud of. By doing so I was able to become an active participant in the give and take women use to communicate when there are no men around. 

It was all a great learning experience for me as I was building my confidence to stay out in public and slip behind the feminine gender curtain. For the most part, I found acceptance except from a few women in the older group who did not accept me. All the younger women did accept me for who I was and I enjoyed going out with them immensely. Since they were all younger and more attractive than I was, they attracted all of the attention, leaving me basically to fend for myself which was fine. It was only the reality of being in the feminine world setting in. 

I also had to deal with a big dose of impostor syndrome when I went behind the gender curtain. I needed to keep telling myself I belonged with a group of women while I was doing it. Following many battles with myself, I finally came to the conclusion even though my path to womanhood was different than most of the world, I still followed a difficult path to arrive where I wanted to. Plus, I needed to remember, being born female did not necessarily entitle a person to being a woman. It was a social title not a biological one. When I arrived at that point, the reality of my situation was easier to understand.

The more I worked on the new me, the better life became. I felt natural when I slipped behind the gender curtain and for the first time in my life, I could say I was happy. Mainly because all of the gender tension I felt attempting to fill an unwanted male role was over. Understanding all the differences between the two main binary genders was never easy but for the first time in my life, I attacked a problem head on and did not try to run behind makeup and a dress to escape. I was the one in makeup and a dress and I had to make it work.

I was fortunate in the fact my inner feminine soul had been watching and learning all along. She was just counting the days until she could take control and quit fighting my male self for domination. Once she was free, activities such as girl's nights out were just icing on the cake. 

Once I discovered my feminine reality and was able to live my truth as a transgender woman, life was so much easier.

Quickly, on another topic, I have decided to go to another LGBTQ Veterans support group meeting coming up soon. I have been to two now and they have been tolerable. The only real problem I have had is explaining what I did in the Army because I was in the American Forces Radio and Television Service. A very small segment of the Army. So, you needed to be deployed overseas to be exposed to AFRTS at all anyhow. During the last group meeting, I think I at least was able to explain what I did in the service and I was in way before "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" military LGBT policy was in effect. It is all so difficult to explain but the moderator seems to want me there, so I am on the week to week participation plan. Past that, we shall see how it goes.    

  

Hair and Make-Up Visit?

Finishing off Monday's fun and games was the nightly meeting of  the cross dresser - transgender support group get together I go to. I made it fashionably late in time to hear a skin expert speak and later a hair person, followed by a make up expert.

I found I do about half of a required skin care regimen required to help my skin. I am always careful to cleanse at night and apply a moisturizer. As of yet, I have not yet delved into the scary/wonderful world of items such as serums.

In the "should have - could have" department, I should have taken less time watching the make up person perform her miracles on the two youngest attendee's and sat down with the hair person. In fact, she asked me why I didn't. The reason I didn't do it was, I was ashamed of the way my hair looked after a day in the car. I didn't even have a chance to brush it out. I was shocked when she asked me why I didn't do it!

As far as writing about hair or make-up, it was evident to me, both are too personalized to make many generalizations. An exemption was the ideas the hair person passed along about the care and maintenance of synthetic hair wigs. How often should you wash them, etc. Plus, how you should never try to color a synthetic wig or use any heat over 325 degrees (F) to style it. A washing regimen of course is based largely on how oily your original hair is and how long and often you wear the wig. So, even the care of wigs is highly personal.

As I understand it, both women are going to try and return for another meeting and perhaps even set up individual appointments. I already told the make-up person I would be interested and definitively the hair person too.

My statements to both will be, since I have been living in a feminine world for so long now, I need to learn how to do it easier and better.