Cosmopolitan came up with this top ten list of the "Top 10 Lies Men Tell Women" because:
The average dude fabricates something six times a day-that's twice as
often as women-and with #LiesMenTellWomen trending on Twitter right now,
some dudes are being called out.
All the normal ones are on it like "I'm stuck in traffic" and "This will be my last beer."
The one they missed?
"I just tried on your clothes once honey. I hated it and will never do it again!"
Saturday, June 30, 2012
The Power of One Three Letter Word
Not long ago I became embroiled in a sports conversation with two genetic female friends.
I happen to believe some of us are genetically predispositioned to dislike certain opposing sports teams as much as we are to be transgender. (Well, not really but it sounds good!)
In this case both of them are Pittsburgh Steelers fans and if you must know I have felt the pain and abuse of rooting for the Cincinnati Bengals since they were founded in the 1960's. Of course (as I would have done to them) they were blasting me the same way the Steelers have blasted the Bengals over the years.
The problem? None, because they had to have used the "she" word in reference to my poor choice of teams at least 4 or 5 times in five minutes. "She" doesn't know football, "she" is the only Bengals fan left etc...(hey, I live an hour from "Cinci"...can't fool me. I know there are a couple more of us out there!)
Of course I knew it was in good fun and no matter how passionate women think they are about sports, rarely can they bring the pain like a man.
I'm fairly jaded and secure about my little place in the world but little did they know how much their acceptance of me and the use of the "she" word meant to me. They don't read this so it's very difficult to express my gratitude to them BUT there are more than a couple more of you who I know read "Cyrsti's Condo" who are in the same boat.
I can only say you make my soul sing with your unconditional acceptance of me and I thank you!!!
On the negative side, if my soul sings the same as the rest of me-maybe I should find some other way to express it!
I happen to believe some of us are genetically predispositioned to dislike certain opposing sports teams as much as we are to be transgender. (Well, not really but it sounds good!)
In this case both of them are Pittsburgh Steelers fans and if you must know I have felt the pain and abuse of rooting for the Cincinnati Bengals since they were founded in the 1960's. Of course (as I would have done to them) they were blasting me the same way the Steelers have blasted the Bengals over the years.
The problem? None, because they had to have used the "she" word in reference to my poor choice of teams at least 4 or 5 times in five minutes. "She" doesn't know football, "she" is the only Bengals fan left etc...(hey, I live an hour from "Cinci"...can't fool me. I know there are a couple more of us out there!)
Of course I knew it was in good fun and no matter how passionate women think they are about sports, rarely can they bring the pain like a man.
I'm fairly jaded and secure about my little place in the world but little did they know how much their acceptance of me and the use of the "she" word meant to me. They don't read this so it's very difficult to express my gratitude to them BUT there are more than a couple more of you who I know read "Cyrsti's Condo" who are in the same boat.
I can only say you make my soul sing with your unconditional acceptance of me and I thank you!!!
On the negative side, if my soul sings the same as the rest of me-maybe I should find some other way to express it!
1969
For many of us who lived through the 1960's (and remember it) 1968 and 1969 were especially exciting years.
All different genres of music were bursting onto the scene and were showcased in the 1969 Woodstock Music Festival in upstate New York.
The previous year Martin Luther King Jr. and Bobby Kennedy were assassinated in 1968. Nothing was for certain except we were stuck in a lose/lose non war in Vietnam which was drafting and killing friends. D.M - R.I.P.
In the midst of all of this came the Stonewall Riots in late June of 1969.
Of course Stonewall is widely regarded as the beginning of the gay rights movement long before the "T" words were widely recognized. (transgender, transsexual excepting transvestite) Don't hold me to dates and people here, my point is looking back Stonewall was huge for me as a transgendered person. Let's remember even the gay community had nowhere to go easily or even legally before it.
As gay venues became more accessible they were a wonderful starting point for me to take steps out of my gender closet.
Being the historian that I am (amateur with a degree=dangerous) I decided to pass along another article before July settles in tomorrow:
Take a look here for the original "Advocate" article from 1969!
All different genres of music were bursting onto the scene and were showcased in the 1969 Woodstock Music Festival in upstate New York.The previous year Martin Luther King Jr. and Bobby Kennedy were assassinated in 1968. Nothing was for certain except we were stuck in a lose/lose non war in Vietnam which was drafting and killing friends. D.M - R.I.P.
In the midst of all of this came the Stonewall Riots in late June of 1969.
Of course Stonewall is widely regarded as the beginning of the gay rights movement long before the "T" words were widely recognized. (transgender, transsexual excepting transvestite) Don't hold me to dates and people here, my point is looking back Stonewall was huge for me as a transgendered person. Let's remember even the gay community had nowhere to go easily or even legally before it.
As gay venues became more accessible they were a wonderful starting point for me to take steps out of my gender closet.
Being the historian that I am (amateur with a degree=dangerous) I decided to pass along another article before July settles in tomorrow:
Take a look here for the original "Advocate" article from 1969!
Transgender "Stylin and Profilin"!
If you are an in the closet cross dresser, transgender or transsexual woman your personal image matters. It just does. Let me take it a step further and point out the transsexual women that I know or have seen whose personal image is never going to propel them to any pageant finals but who look exceeding at home in their chosen gender.
I'm guessing the great majority of my trans sisters however do care very deeply about their personal image.
Of course genetic women do too and one of the sites I subscribe (free) to is Total Image Consultants. It's a great place for image tips and ideas from the genetic female world...Such as this:
" Does how we look matter above all else? Do clothing, makeup and hair choices have that much influence? Or, should our personality and inner essence be the primary focus with no attachment to how we look on the outside?
Unless you've been living in a cave, you know that our society is obsessed with image. Not only that but the image they revere is young, thin and white. It's no wonder so many women feel excluded! The key is to match your outer appearance with appreciation and expression of who you are on the inside.
How do you do that?"
This post is written by Ginger and it's uncanny how much of it reads as true or truer for a transgender woman attempting to find her way in the world. As I have always said females don't have to be women. We do to survive. Here are a couple points:
Be True to Yourself: Do you feel good about how you look? The biggest question is “do you know how you want to look and how to make that happen?”
Know the Rules! (OMG how many times do we go over that?) If you understand the rules about dress then you are well equipped to make choices that serve you. Knowing the expectations, you can then make a conscious decision to disregard them (if you choose to) and are better prepared to deal with (or circumvent) the consequences.
Show Respect: Take pride in how you look. Good grooming habits are essential and have nothing to do with where you shop or how big or fancy your wardrobe is or isn't. Others notice when you take good care of your body and your clothes…and when you don’t!
Dress With Intention: Many women have fallen into a state of unconsciousness about how they look. Is it any surprise when you consider the factors working against us (e.g., body image issues, social pressure, compromised self-esteem, disinterest in fashion...)?
Finally:
How you dress gives people visual cues about who you are. True or not, they will make assumptions about you based on what they see. While it is not possible to meet everyone’s expectations, you can meet your own. Dress with authenticity, respect and intention, and you will feel good about how you look everyday. "
As I normally do, I have edited part of this post. For the entire read, please go here it's worth it!
I'm guessing the great majority of my trans sisters however do care very deeply about their personal image.
Of course genetic women do too and one of the sites I subscribe (free) to is Total Image Consultants. It's a great place for image tips and ideas from the genetic female world...Such as this:
" Does how we look matter above all else? Do clothing, makeup and hair choices have that much influence? Or, should our personality and inner essence be the primary focus with no attachment to how we look on the outside?
Unless you've been living in a cave, you know that our society is obsessed with image. Not only that but the image they revere is young, thin and white. It's no wonder so many women feel excluded! The key is to match your outer appearance with appreciation and expression of who you are on the inside.
How do you do that?"
This post is written by Ginger and it's uncanny how much of it reads as true or truer for a transgender woman attempting to find her way in the world. As I have always said females don't have to be women. We do to survive. Here are a couple points:
Be True to Yourself: Do you feel good about how you look? The biggest question is “do you know how you want to look and how to make that happen?”
Know the Rules! (OMG how many times do we go over that?) If you understand the rules about dress then you are well equipped to make choices that serve you. Knowing the expectations, you can then make a conscious decision to disregard them (if you choose to) and are better prepared to deal with (or circumvent) the consequences.
Show Respect: Take pride in how you look. Good grooming habits are essential and have nothing to do with where you shop or how big or fancy your wardrobe is or isn't. Others notice when you take good care of your body and your clothes…and when you don’t!
Dress With Intention: Many women have fallen into a state of unconsciousness about how they look. Is it any surprise when you consider the factors working against us (e.g., body image issues, social pressure, compromised self-esteem, disinterest in fashion...)?
Finally:
How you dress gives people visual cues about who you are. True or not, they will make assumptions about you based on what they see. While it is not possible to meet everyone’s expectations, you can meet your own. Dress with authenticity, respect and intention, and you will feel good about how you look everyday. "
As I normally do, I have edited part of this post. For the entire read, please go here it's worth it!
Friday, June 29, 2012
OutServe Magazine
Of course I'm biased towards any info concerning transgender vets in this country and anywhere. Outserve Magazine
recently added Brynn Tannehill as a contributor.
Brynn
Tannehill is a 1997 U.S. Naval Academy graduate, former Lieutenant
Commander helicopter pilot, and a fully transitioned transgender woman.
She has a wife and two loving children.
She just posted a very enlightened look into her visit to this summer's Columbus, Ohio's Pride visit. (In my part of the world). Here's an excerpt in which she very adeptly covers many segments of the transgender community and the "Holy Grail" of presenting as a female (in this instance).
" I didn’t come to pride events until I finished
transitioning and felt I had some ability to blend. Even at a pride
event, I didn’t want the trans label by not passing. After two years
of hormones, three years of electrolysis, and $35,000 worth of surgery
I thought I could avoid most stereotypes and blend in. Only then did I
feel comfortable going to my first pride event this year in Columbus,
Ohio.
I didn’t know what to expect. Most of the people seemed very ordinary.
The drunken frat boys overindulging at the beer trucks weren’t very
novel. The small but memorable assorted mix of people making a point
by being over the top either by the clothes they wore, or what they
chose not to, stood out. Some of them were very visibly under the
transgender umbrella as drag queens, female impersonators, or cross
dressers. Others were making a point of being overtly gay or lesbian.
Again, not unexpected. I wasn’t sure how I would explain to my kids
about the folks who looked like extras from “Avatar”: well toned,
wearing almost nothing, and brilliant blue from head to toe, though.
What did come as a surprise was what a surprise I was. When I
introduced myself to an online friend with the HRC in person for the
first time she exclaimed “Oh, wow, somehow I thought you were taller!”
At the OutServe booth I had to mention that I was trans before anyone
caught on why I would be writing for the magazine without being in the
military anymore. Same deal with the National Organization of Gay and
Lesbian Scientists and Technical Professionals. When I asked if
transgender people were part of their charter, the woman at the booth
replied “Why, do you have transgender friends?”
Everywhere I turned, I passed. The fact that I didn’t look like all
the other visibly trans people at Columbus pride really did challenge
their notions of what trans is. Both of these gave me a bit of a warm
and fuzzy. What made it even better was the extremely positive
response I got from some of the younger people I met who found out I
was trans. As one 20-ish woman put it, “You’re trans? Really!? I’d
never guess. That so totally rocks.”
While these experiences were self affirming, they were also
instructional. It is only the outlandish examples that people
perceive. You notice the people trying to stand out, not the ones
trying to blend. I hear it so often that “I’ve never met a trans
person”, or “I don’t know anyone who really looked like <their target
gender>.”
Follow the link for more!
recently added Brynn Tannehill as a contributor.
Brynn
Tannehill is a 1997 U.S. Naval Academy graduate, former Lieutenant
Commander helicopter pilot, and a fully transitioned transgender woman.
She has a wife and two loving children.She just posted a very enlightened look into her visit to this summer's Columbus, Ohio's Pride visit. (In my part of the world). Here's an excerpt in which she very adeptly covers many segments of the transgender community and the "Holy Grail" of presenting as a female (in this instance).
" I didn’t come to pride events until I finished
transitioning and felt I had some ability to blend. Even at a pride
event, I didn’t want the trans label by not passing. After two years
of hormones, three years of electrolysis, and $35,000 worth of surgery
I thought I could avoid most stereotypes and blend in. Only then did I
feel comfortable going to my first pride event this year in Columbus,
Ohio.
I didn’t know what to expect. Most of the people seemed very ordinary.
The drunken frat boys overindulging at the beer trucks weren’t very
novel. The small but memorable assorted mix of people making a point
by being over the top either by the clothes they wore, or what they
chose not to, stood out. Some of them were very visibly under the
transgender umbrella as drag queens, female impersonators, or cross
dressers. Others were making a point of being overtly gay or lesbian.
Again, not unexpected. I wasn’t sure how I would explain to my kids
about the folks who looked like extras from “Avatar”: well toned,
wearing almost nothing, and brilliant blue from head to toe, though.
What did come as a surprise was what a surprise I was. When I
introduced myself to an online friend with the HRC in person for the
first time she exclaimed “Oh, wow, somehow I thought you were taller!”
At the OutServe booth I had to mention that I was trans before anyone
caught on why I would be writing for the magazine without being in the
military anymore. Same deal with the National Organization of Gay and
Lesbian Scientists and Technical Professionals. When I asked if
transgender people were part of their charter, the woman at the booth
replied “Why, do you have transgender friends?”
Everywhere I turned, I passed. The fact that I didn’t look like all
the other visibly trans people at Columbus pride really did challenge
their notions of what trans is. Both of these gave me a bit of a warm
and fuzzy. What made it even better was the extremely positive
response I got from some of the younger people I met who found out I
was trans. As one 20-ish woman put it, “You’re trans? Really!? I’d
never guess. That so totally rocks.”
While these experiences were self affirming, they were also
instructional. It is only the outlandish examples that people
perceive. You notice the people trying to stand out, not the ones
trying to blend. I hear it so often that “I’ve never met a trans
person”, or “I don’t know anyone who really looked like <their target
gender>.”
Follow the link for more!
The Greatest Privilege of All
This occurred to me as I was walking down the sidewalk to the post office.
All of us should stop and reflect on our lives and the fact we are still living them.
I know I'm very lucky that the sun, moon and stars finally alligned for me. For a couple of rare years I have been able to live on my terms.
Of course, I realize life is a very powerful force and she may come at any time to reclaim her territory. (Name me a person she hasn't roundly beat up through portions of their lives?)
In a rare moment of clarity she made it quite clear to me that privilege is facing another day. A day that you are looking down at the grass and not up at it means you have a shot at change.
In our transgender existences we all have gone through a lot and of course the journey is far from over. In the meantime the true privilege is to check out another sunrise.
All of us should stop and reflect on our lives and the fact we are still living them.
I know I'm very lucky that the sun, moon and stars finally alligned for me. For a couple of rare years I have been able to live on my terms.
Of course, I realize life is a very powerful force and she may come at any time to reclaim her territory. (Name me a person she hasn't roundly beat up through portions of their lives?)
In a rare moment of clarity she made it quite clear to me that privilege is facing another day. A day that you are looking down at the grass and not up at it means you have a shot at change.
In our transgender existences we all have gone through a lot and of course the journey is far from over. In the meantime the true privilege is to check out another sunrise.
Transgender Six.
July 1st marks 6 months on hormones for me.
Of course I'm asked "what's the biggest change?"
Very simply, the biggest change is the skin I live in. All this time I thought all the commercials I saw for women's body washes and moisterizers as so much feminine fluff. I was wrong.
My skin started to dry out on my face and proceeded down my body. All of the sudden I was the one checking retail shelves for body washes and seeking info from my genetic girl friends.
I'm not going to tell you the "fluff" isn't fun but all of the sudden my skin suddenly became a force to be recogned with. Sure skin is a summer fashion accessory but if I didn't moisterize and pamper mine-it let me know.
The second biggest question is "did I make the right choice?". Easy answer: YES!
I simply love what my life is becoming and can't wait for more!
Of course I'm asked "what's the biggest change?"
Very simply, the biggest change is the skin I live in. All this time I thought all the commercials I saw for women's body washes and moisterizers as so much feminine fluff. I was wrong.
My skin started to dry out on my face and proceeded down my body. All of the sudden I was the one checking retail shelves for body washes and seeking info from my genetic girl friends.
I'm not going to tell you the "fluff" isn't fun but all of the sudden my skin suddenly became a force to be recogned with. Sure skin is a summer fashion accessory but if I didn't moisterize and pamper mine-it let me know.
The second biggest question is "did I make the right choice?". Easy answer: YES!
I simply love what my life is becoming and can't wait for more!
Wednesday, June 27, 2012
A REALLY High heel!
Here you go girls. Especially those of you who love to "sky scrape" with those heels of yours:
This shoe is on Etsy by Bruce Gray.
Check out the second picture:
Oh, by the way you better be well heeled for this shoe- 24 grand!
I wonder what the pair costs?
This shoe is on Etsy by Bruce Gray.
Check out the second picture:
I wonder what the pair costs?
"Horror-Scope"
| Libra (September 23 - October 22) |
 |
Astro Guide 2012: Libra
I wondered what that huge neon sign was doing doing outside my door! Cool!
From theFrisky get yours here.
Glamazon Press Revisited
Formed in 1993 by Christine Beatty, Glamazon Press originally aimed to market her book "Misery Loves Company". Recently Christine published another book "Not Your average American Girl" which describes her journey from married male college student to transsexual woman. She writes another survivor story from the transgender ranks.I have enclosed a link to follow to her site for info about the book as well as a catalog of other publications you can take a look at here.
Enjoy!
Tuesday, June 26, 2012
Jender Jumping into No Return.
Early in my life I was afraid to jump into the female gender too completely. What if I never got back?
Of course more went into it such as family etc. Bottom line is that after a big night out of the closet, three times out of four I didn't want to go back.
I was grumpy with all around me and generally just difficult to live with because I was having a difficult time living with myself.
As I rationalized and rethought my gender situation a reoccurring thought came up. If I went too far, could I even find the closet again. Did I want to make that huge "jender jump"? Obviously I felt like a daredevil stunt person getting ready to jump over the Grand Canyon. Scared to death.
The problem becomes a monster is usually chasing us to the brink and it's tough to find the best place to jump.
Absolutely no easy answer here no matter what label you identify with: Cross dresser, transsexual, or transgender. Some of us take a series of small jumps and others take the huge leap to SRS quickly.
I took the smaller jumps. Not right, not wrong-just my direction over the jump.
Whatever decision you decide to make, only was thing is certain. Most unknowns are never as good or as bad as imagined.
The stronger you are, the better you jump!
Of course more went into it such as family etc. Bottom line is that after a big night out of the closet, three times out of four I didn't want to go back.
I was grumpy with all around me and generally just difficult to live with because I was having a difficult time living with myself.
As I rationalized and rethought my gender situation a reoccurring thought came up. If I went too far, could I even find the closet again. Did I want to make that huge "jender jump"? Obviously I felt like a daredevil stunt person getting ready to jump over the Grand Canyon. Scared to death.
The problem becomes a monster is usually chasing us to the brink and it's tough to find the best place to jump.
Absolutely no easy answer here no matter what label you identify with: Cross dresser, transsexual, or transgender. Some of us take a series of small jumps and others take the huge leap to SRS quickly.
I took the smaller jumps. Not right, not wrong-just my direction over the jump.
Whatever decision you decide to make, only was thing is certain. Most unknowns are never as good or as bad as imagined.
The stronger you are, the better you jump!
Sunday, June 24, 2012
Selfish versus Self Preservation
Name me one person in the transgender, transsexual or crossdressing community who hasn't faced the terrible prospect of telling others. As they say in the "old country" that "ain't happenin".
Recently I had a chat with person who was just starting to come out of the closet in her mid 30's. She said she seemed to be following the same path I have been on.
After I apologized, kids came into the discussion. As in many instances she attributed two broken relationships to her transgender leanings and now was worried about her teenaged daughter.
Very shortly the "S" conversation came up. When is it not selfish to be put yourself in self preservation mode for the sake of yourself and your off spring.
Of course it's a highly personal question and one only each of us can answer.
As many of us have discovered, we can only be cornered so many ways by an affliction which is not going away. Something has to be done. It's not being selfish-it's reality.
As a pure observer I believe kids today are much better equipped to deal with a transgender or transsexual parent. The older people around them are the problem.
So if there is a path to success in this situation, it's having the proper amount of material or discussion to present yourself in a true manner.
One of the tougher problems is to present your transgender status as a real part of you while not being a victim. What I mean is don't act like this has been a huge struggle your whole life. (Even though it has.) BUT it has been and will be a part of you hidden from the world.
You need to try to open a dialogue in which the child needs to know both of you will be better off under the new gender situation. A huge motivator at this point in time is trust. You are trusting your offspring with the issue.
Finally, while it's good to never push too hard, it's never good not to try some gentle followups.
The child needs to know this is not something that is just going away.
Good luck!
Recently I had a chat with person who was just starting to come out of the closet in her mid 30's. She said she seemed to be following the same path I have been on.
After I apologized, kids came into the discussion. As in many instances she attributed two broken relationships to her transgender leanings and now was worried about her teenaged daughter.
Very shortly the "S" conversation came up. When is it not selfish to be put yourself in self preservation mode for the sake of yourself and your off spring.
Of course it's a highly personal question and one only each of us can answer.
As many of us have discovered, we can only be cornered so many ways by an affliction which is not going away. Something has to be done. It's not being selfish-it's reality.
As a pure observer I believe kids today are much better equipped to deal with a transgender or transsexual parent. The older people around them are the problem.
So if there is a path to success in this situation, it's having the proper amount of material or discussion to present yourself in a true manner.
One of the tougher problems is to present your transgender status as a real part of you while not being a victim. What I mean is don't act like this has been a huge struggle your whole life. (Even though it has.) BUT it has been and will be a part of you hidden from the world.
You need to try to open a dialogue in which the child needs to know both of you will be better off under the new gender situation. A huge motivator at this point in time is trust. You are trusting your offspring with the issue.
Finally, while it's good to never push too hard, it's never good not to try some gentle followups.
The child needs to know this is not something that is just going away.
Good luck!
Mina Caputo a Year Later
Against Me! singer Tom Gabel has been in the headlines this year as he undergoes the transition from male to female to become Laura Jane Grace. But if she needs someone to talk with about being a rocker undergoing such a change, she might want to reach out to Life of Agony‘s Mina Caputo.
Last July, the longtime metal vocalist known as Keith Caputo revealed that he was making the transition from male to female and would be known as Mina Caputo. The musician tells Noisecreep.com, “I got a lot of grief for it, but it was nothing compared to the years of pain I went through not being open about the way I felt inside.
Over and over again I can't express how positive all of this is for the transgender community. Every baby step we can take becomes larger when a public figure comes out and tells the world he or she is transgender or transsexual.
When the trans person involved is a younger public person, then the impact is even larger.
Saturday, June 23, 2012
Hey! Isn't Your Name....
A "Blast from the Past" post.
Sometimes I feel as if I'm on the "Titanic". Sailing along in my luxury cabin feeling at peace in my feminine world and...here comes the iceberg.
I live in a town of less than 100, 000 peeps and like most of you led (or lead) a very visible life. On occasion I have tested the waters locally by going out into socially straight venues. In fact these sometimes exciting little cruises through the icebergs were extreme successes followed by dismal failures.
Most of the time I would travel to larger cities which are close to me and are for the most part decidedly more liberal. I began to feel a feminine liberation I never thought possible.
Until I went home.
Here I was recently sailing through the icebergs on my home turf. My back was arched, chest was out and soft hair framed my face.The illusion was the world was mine. Until the iceberg.
A feminine voice came up from the rear and said "Isn't your name..."? Of course she used my male name and of course I said no.
I was going down now as fast as the "Titanic" and finished my drink and headed home...devastated.
Back to the drawing board I went. Was it how I looked, how I carried myself, past transgressions? Of course it was all of them.
Looking back the iceberg, I discovered positives as I built my next cruise ship.
If you sail in the icebergs, chances are you will be hit-just don't sink.
Then again maybe some of the icebergs weren't such a threat after all. Maybe the woman that night already had heard the "rumors" and just wanted to talk to me out of curiosity and not meanness. Perhaps I could have been the "icebreaker" that night?
Sometimes I feel as if I'm on the "Titanic". Sailing along in my luxury cabin feeling at peace in my feminine world and...here comes the iceberg.
I live in a town of less than 100, 000 peeps and like most of you led (or lead) a very visible life. On occasion I have tested the waters locally by going out into socially straight venues. In fact these sometimes exciting little cruises through the icebergs were extreme successes followed by dismal failures.
Most of the time I would travel to larger cities which are close to me and are for the most part decidedly more liberal. I began to feel a feminine liberation I never thought possible.
Until I went home.
Here I was recently sailing through the icebergs on my home turf. My back was arched, chest was out and soft hair framed my face.The illusion was the world was mine. Until the iceberg.
A feminine voice came up from the rear and said "Isn't your name..."? Of course she used my male name and of course I said no.
I was going down now as fast as the "Titanic" and finished my drink and headed home...devastated.
Back to the drawing board I went. Was it how I looked, how I carried myself, past transgressions? Of course it was all of them.
Looking back the iceberg, I discovered positives as I built my next cruise ship.
If you sail in the icebergs, chances are you will be hit-just don't sink.
Then again maybe some of the icebergs weren't such a threat after all. Maybe the woman that night already had heard the "rumors" and just wanted to talk to me out of curiosity and not meanness. Perhaps I could have been the "icebreaker" that night?
Hammering Away at Gender Norms
"Keelin Godsey may not have made it to the 2012 Olympics, but the 28-year-old has already made history as the first out transgender athlete to seriously compete for an Olympic berth. Yesterday Godsey competed in the Olympic trials in the women's hammer throw competition, finishing in fifth place but setting a personal best record of 231 feet 3 inches.
Godsey, who came out as a transgender man in 2005, had previously, according to the The New York Times, assumed this Olympic cycle would be the end of his career and that after it he'd begin the medical transition process — a move that would disqualify him from competing in the women's category in the future."
Read more here.
Some Like it Hotter!
Today I saw (again) bits and pieces of the classic film Some Like It Hot.
Without wasting words and time, I still had to pause for a second and marvel at the production.
No matter how you feel about the entire cast of Jack Lemmons, Tony Curtis et all- Marilyn Monroe's casting was the genius move by Director Billy Wilder.
Think about the ramifications for those of us in the transgender community. Two men playing women with one falling in love with Marilyn who was in herself a huge caricature of women; an impossible feminine ideal too strong for even Marilyn herself And how many of us came away from the movie with the yearning to play music in an all girl band?
If all of that wasn't enough, there is always the wonderfully improbable final line in the picture when Jack Lemmon unveils himself as a man to a hopelessly infatuated Joe E. Brown. " I'm gonna level with you. We can't get married at all... I'm a man. 2) Well, nobody's perfect" - the reply. (Joe E. Brown) Ha ha! So cute!!!!
Remember this all took place in 1959 when even dressing as the opposite gender in public in most towns was a crime and of course being gay was unheard of! Hollywood just had to be the biggest gay closet in the country. Way to go "Billy Wilder"!
All of this was happening ten years before the "Stonewall Uprising" during the summer of 1969 in New York City.
The Stonewall Inn, taken September 1969. The sign in the window reads: "We homosexuals plead with our people to please help maintain peaceful and quiet conduct on the streets of the Village—Mattachine".[1]
If you haven't had a chance to catch the special on "PBS" about Stonewall, check it out!
Without wasting words and time, I still had to pause for a second and marvel at the production.
No matter how you feel about the entire cast of Jack Lemmons, Tony Curtis et all- Marilyn Monroe's casting was the genius move by Director Billy Wilder.Think about the ramifications for those of us in the transgender community. Two men playing women with one falling in love with Marilyn who was in herself a huge caricature of women; an impossible feminine ideal too strong for even Marilyn herself And how many of us came away from the movie with the yearning to play music in an all girl band?
If all of that wasn't enough, there is always the wonderfully improbable final line in the picture when Jack Lemmon unveils himself as a man to a hopelessly infatuated Joe E. Brown. " I'm gonna level with you. We can't get married at all... I'm a man. 2) Well, nobody's perfect" - the reply. (Joe E. Brown) Ha ha! So cute!!!!
Remember this all took place in 1959 when even dressing as the opposite gender in public in most towns was a crime and of course being gay was unheard of! Hollywood just had to be the biggest gay closet in the country. Way to go "Billy Wilder"!
All of this was happening ten years before the "Stonewall Uprising" during the summer of 1969 in New York City.
The Stonewall Inn, taken September 1969. The sign in the window reads: "We homosexuals plead with our people to please help maintain peaceful and quiet conduct on the streets of the Village—Mattachine".[1]
If you haven't had a chance to catch the special on "PBS" about Stonewall, check it out!
Thursday, June 21, 2012
Justin Vivian Bond
 |
| Justin Vivian Bond, in a Maria Cornejo dress and Lanvin shoes and accessories, in Le Petit Versailles Garden in Manhattan. |
OMG! You are killing me!!!!
First Monika, Stana, Janie and now Michelleliana!
You simply have to read her "Top Ten Reasons Middle Age Transition Doesn't Suck!!!! (here)
I'm not worthy!!!!!!!
You simply have to read her "Top Ten Reasons Middle Age Transition Doesn't Suck!!!! (here)
I'm not worthy!!!!!!!
Classic Female Impersonation History
Ephemeral recently ran a post featuring famous cross dressers.
The post featured one of the all time popular female impersonators and dare I say actresses of his era Julian Eltinge.
Here's an excerpt:
"All but forgotten today, Julian Eltinge was one of the highest paid actors in the early 1900s.
The post featured one of the all time popular female impersonators and dare I say actresses of his era Julian Eltinge.
Here's an excerpt:"All but forgotten today, Julian Eltinge was one of the highest paid actors in the early 1900s.
His shtick: He played all his roles in drag.
But unlike most drag queens, who present a
caricature of a woman, Eltinge was a “gender illusionist” pretending,
with a wink, to actually be a woman." and of course you can go here for more!
A Fantastic Collection
Utopia?
I read posts here and there on the idea of a genderless society. A place where a person is totally free to express their mental gender at will.
In fact Michellelianna recently did her own take on the subject and you can read it here.
The easy answer of course is clothes don't make the transgender or transsexual woman or man. We all know it's much deeper than that.
Indirectly my "BFF" took the subject another step when I confided in her my dissatisfaction with my recent male exploits. Basically she asked when was I going to start dressing more completely female as I approach 6 months into HRT.
Good question. In my current lifestyle, I'm just me without the pronouns. Very little body hair, painted nails and all. I basically run errands in a few of the same places all the time. Since going into semi retirement, I created my own little gender cocoon rather than an utopia. With my thin shaped brows, pony tail and clear nail polish I'm far from being androgynous- yet. Just being me is great for me but the world awaits. You know how the real world wrecks utopia! Dammit!
However I still have a utopian plan for the near future. I call it "hormones phase II".
As I have written a number of times, coming up soon is the big next visit to my "prescribing" doc. I started on a minimum dose of a form of estrogen and had it doubled a couple months later. Now I want it doubled again.
So by this fall, I can see me developing a nice little makeup routine in the morning of eye makeup and lip gloss-everyday. Then we will see how my utopia is working for the general public.
Quite truthfully, I don't see how an androgyny phase will work in at all with my utopia if I have a choice. Obviously, I would prefer to be seen as feminine as possible. Some would say I have done some of this a little backward with the amount of time I've spent in a feminine lifestyle without hormones and such. The transformation as you know isn't always the easiest and I will gladly accept any help I can get!
We will see. As with any utopian idea, problems will exist. Those of you who have gone through this process know the ups and downs unique to each one of us.
I can only say I'm surely not expecting any Shangri-la but a plan is very reassuring even if it's not utopian.
In fact Michellelianna recently did her own take on the subject and you can read it here.
The easy answer of course is clothes don't make the transgender or transsexual woman or man. We all know it's much deeper than that.
Indirectly my "BFF" took the subject another step when I confided in her my dissatisfaction with my recent male exploits. Basically she asked when was I going to start dressing more completely female as I approach 6 months into HRT.
Good question. In my current lifestyle, I'm just me without the pronouns. Very little body hair, painted nails and all. I basically run errands in a few of the same places all the time. Since going into semi retirement, I created my own little gender cocoon rather than an utopia. With my thin shaped brows, pony tail and clear nail polish I'm far from being androgynous- yet. Just being me is great for me but the world awaits. You know how the real world wrecks utopia! Dammit!
However I still have a utopian plan for the near future. I call it "hormones phase II".
As I have written a number of times, coming up soon is the big next visit to my "prescribing" doc. I started on a minimum dose of a form of estrogen and had it doubled a couple months later. Now I want it doubled again.
So by this fall, I can see me developing a nice little makeup routine in the morning of eye makeup and lip gloss-everyday. Then we will see how my utopia is working for the general public.
Quite truthfully, I don't see how an androgyny phase will work in at all with my utopia if I have a choice. Obviously, I would prefer to be seen as feminine as possible. Some would say I have done some of this a little backward with the amount of time I've spent in a feminine lifestyle without hormones and such. The transformation as you know isn't always the easiest and I will gladly accept any help I can get!
We will see. As with any utopian idea, problems will exist. Those of you who have gone through this process know the ups and downs unique to each one of us.
I can only say I'm surely not expecting any Shangri-la but a plan is very reassuring even if it's not utopian.
Wednesday, June 20, 2012
The Breakfast of Non Champions
From Legislative Queery:
Growing up there were two breakfast cereals available at our house: Kellogg's Corn Flakes and Cheerios. The two options were so ubiquitous on the breakfast tables of my youth that to this day I can't stand to eat either. But I may have to find a way to stomach Cheerios again after the taurus-shaped staple's parent couple, General Mills, came out against a proposed ban on marriage equality in its home state of Minnesota this week.
In contrast, the other purveyor of the processed grains of my youthful mornings, Kellogg's, has pulled its advertizing from the Teen Nick series "Degrassi" over story lines involving transgender youth. "Degrassi" is a long running Canadian television series that since 1979 has taken on a number of difficult teen issues including abortion, drug use, racism, gay teens and eating disorders. But apparently the existence of transgender teenagers is a step too far for Kellogg's.
The ad pulling comes after pressure from the hate group The American Family Association, which characterizes the portrayal of trans teens as promoting "bizarre sexual role-playing with transvestism, [and] homosexuality."
I went right out and outed my Kellogg's to the trash.
Growing up there were two breakfast cereals available at our house: Kellogg's Corn Flakes and Cheerios. The two options were so ubiquitous on the breakfast tables of my youth that to this day I can't stand to eat either. But I may have to find a way to stomach Cheerios again after the taurus-shaped staple's parent couple, General Mills, came out against a proposed ban on marriage equality in its home state of Minnesota this week.
In contrast, the other purveyor of the processed grains of my youthful mornings, Kellogg's, has pulled its advertizing from the Teen Nick series "Degrassi" over story lines involving transgender youth. "Degrassi" is a long running Canadian television series that since 1979 has taken on a number of difficult teen issues including abortion, drug use, racism, gay teens and eating disorders. But apparently the existence of transgender teenagers is a step too far for Kellogg's.
The ad pulling comes after pressure from the hate group The American Family Association, which characterizes the portrayal of trans teens as promoting "bizarre sexual role-playing with transvestism, [and] homosexuality."
I went right out and outed my Kellogg's to the trash.
Trans Wreck Part Deux
Thanks for all the response!
Some of you have emailed me having not unraveled the Google process to comment here. I think you have to have a Google account of some sorts?
Janie, who I will post her comment in a bit-I had to establish a "Wordpress" account to comment on your blog. These are times I wish I was more computer literate.
No I didn't derail, back to the Wreck and Janie's comment:
"I do believe there are girls out there who transition for the wrong reasons. It is an awfully big decision to make in one's life and unfortunately the gatekeepers do not really properly restrict the availability of hormones and SRS to those for whom it is needed. I expect that profits and politics are the chief reasons for this. There is a line than needs to be walked between not being unduly restrictive with transsexuals who need these things and preventing those who don't from making a big mistake. If what you say about this woman is correct, someone in the system should have told her, "No." It is so hard for us to understand ourselves sometimes and we need others to do their job."
First and foremost I agree. One word can describe one trans girl's dilemma: "Thailand".
Back in the day a transgender woman had to live a year as a female before a reputable clinic in this country would do the SRS surgery. Now the standards are cash and slash.
Right or wrong, I don't make any value judgement on any of this. I have a hard enough time with my own life.
BUT! I do wonder sometimes when I see a show where a person still living as a man is shown shopping for a feminine wardrobe before heading for SRS in Thailand. With the hormones he still looks as a effeminate man and after the surgeries he does look as an attractive middle aged woman. Wonderful but I still wonder if he got to live as a woman enough to make such a crucial decision.
We all have to know looks are just a gateway to a "jenderjump". The world is different. I've spent two years now writing about it!
As a group we are no different than any other culture. We make mistakes too.
What separates us is we seem to take such pleasure on feeding on our own.
Cross dresser, transgender or transsexual; a trans wreck is never pleasant but never should be a cause to attack others.
Some of you have emailed me having not unraveled the Google process to comment here. I think you have to have a Google account of some sorts?
Janie, who I will post her comment in a bit-I had to establish a "Wordpress" account to comment on your blog. These are times I wish I was more computer literate.
No I didn't derail, back to the Wreck and Janie's comment:
"I do believe there are girls out there who transition for the wrong reasons. It is an awfully big decision to make in one's life and unfortunately the gatekeepers do not really properly restrict the availability of hormones and SRS to those for whom it is needed. I expect that profits and politics are the chief reasons for this. There is a line than needs to be walked between not being unduly restrictive with transsexuals who need these things and preventing those who don't from making a big mistake. If what you say about this woman is correct, someone in the system should have told her, "No." It is so hard for us to understand ourselves sometimes and we need others to do their job."
First and foremost I agree. One word can describe one trans girl's dilemma: "Thailand".
Back in the day a transgender woman had to live a year as a female before a reputable clinic in this country would do the SRS surgery. Now the standards are cash and slash.
Right or wrong, I don't make any value judgement on any of this. I have a hard enough time with my own life.
BUT! I do wonder sometimes when I see a show where a person still living as a man is shown shopping for a feminine wardrobe before heading for SRS in Thailand. With the hormones he still looks as a effeminate man and after the surgeries he does look as an attractive middle aged woman. Wonderful but I still wonder if he got to live as a woman enough to make such a crucial decision.
We all have to know looks are just a gateway to a "jenderjump". The world is different. I've spent two years now writing about it!
As a group we are no different than any other culture. We make mistakes too.
What separates us is we seem to take such pleasure on feeding on our own.
Cross dresser, transgender or transsexual; a trans wreck is never pleasant but never should be a cause to attack others.
Tuesday, June 19, 2012
"Trans Wreck"
I have used the term "trans wreck" to describe a couple of not so great examples of people taking the gender race a little too far.
Now before some of you bring out the sticks to bust me, here is my only disclaimer:
As I have said many times some of the most vicious, mean and vindictive people I have ran across in my life have been fully changed transsexual women. Connect the dots if you must and I have. I figure they are frustrated at making a major mistake with their life and want to take it out on others. They are my dots and I connected them.
So, onto my example.
Years ago, when I started to come out of the closet I started to attend some transgendered meetings around the area.
One person in particular was the "queen of the hop" (no pun intended) She was very attractive, stylish and accomplished. She was friendly but sort of "held court" with like minded and other attractive girls at the meeting. I marveled at how similar trans and genetic females socialized.
I maintained contact over the years very loosely with her and several others in the group. She wasn't the first to start to indicate this girl thing was more than a weekend hobby.
As two of the others began to seriously transition, sure you could see the difference but more importantly you could feel the difference in them. They exuded female somehow.
With her however she continued to be the prettiest girl in the room but I never felt the female in her.
Sadly I thought she was just the prettiest guy in the room and was engaged in a real ego battle of one upmanship. Hey! Look what I got! Hormones! How about you?
Life went on and she went under the knife for SRS and I lost track on purpose.
I felt she didn't want to be associated with just a transgendered girl fighting to find herself. I have to say that was only my feeling and of course she may have felt different. However, I do have a friend who stayed in contact for awhile and that became very consistent with her. Certainly, if we didn't have the will or money to go the SRS route then we weren't worthy.
The last I have heard she is pretty lonely. Sad if it is true.
That's my "trans wreck" story and I believe it's true others go the same route and become mean and vindictive?
Another problem I see is some of the same transsexuals I read about are the first to say gender does not have any thing to do with genitals but they are the first to hold it against you if you say you feel female no matter what's between your legs?
More on that and the whole topic later.
Now before some of you bring out the sticks to bust me, here is my only disclaimer:
As I have said many times some of the most vicious, mean and vindictive people I have ran across in my life have been fully changed transsexual women. Connect the dots if you must and I have. I figure they are frustrated at making a major mistake with their life and want to take it out on others. They are my dots and I connected them.
So, onto my example.
Years ago, when I started to come out of the closet I started to attend some transgendered meetings around the area.
One person in particular was the "queen of the hop" (no pun intended) She was very attractive, stylish and accomplished. She was friendly but sort of "held court" with like minded and other attractive girls at the meeting. I marveled at how similar trans and genetic females socialized.
I maintained contact over the years very loosely with her and several others in the group. She wasn't the first to start to indicate this girl thing was more than a weekend hobby.
As two of the others began to seriously transition, sure you could see the difference but more importantly you could feel the difference in them. They exuded female somehow.
With her however she continued to be the prettiest girl in the room but I never felt the female in her.
Sadly I thought she was just the prettiest guy in the room and was engaged in a real ego battle of one upmanship. Hey! Look what I got! Hormones! How about you?
Life went on and she went under the knife for SRS and I lost track on purpose.
I felt she didn't want to be associated with just a transgendered girl fighting to find herself. I have to say that was only my feeling and of course she may have felt different. However, I do have a friend who stayed in contact for awhile and that became very consistent with her. Certainly, if we didn't have the will or money to go the SRS route then we weren't worthy.
The last I have heard she is pretty lonely. Sad if it is true.
That's my "trans wreck" story and I believe it's true others go the same route and become mean and vindictive?
Another problem I see is some of the same transsexuals I read about are the first to say gender does not have any thing to do with genitals but they are the first to hold it against you if you say you feel female no matter what's between your legs?
More on that and the whole topic later.
A Basic Gender "Right" of Passage.
From IndiaWest, a true "right" of passage for a transgender Muslim woman:
Maya Jafer, a transgender Muslim woman from South Asia, shares her story in the documentary, “Rites of Passage.” (Photos courtesy Jeff Roy)
"Growing up in India, the only person who knew Mohammed Jafer’s true identity was a Buddhist monk: “I see the woman in you,” he said, “and I want to call you Maya because I see a lot of love in you.”
But the 42-year-old — now Maya, who said the name means “love” — from Tamil Nadu always knew she was a woman, even if virtually no one else did.
“I am a woman in a man’s body …” she said, referring to how she felt before she began her transition to physically become a woman. “I was trying to fix everything else, until I realized I have the option inside me.”
That’s the story a new documentary, called “Mohammed to Maya,” tells as it follows Maya, a male-to-female transgender individual, in a physical and spiritual journey into womanhood that pushes the limits of tradition.
Born into a tight-knit, orthodox Muslim family of naturopathic healers, Maya’s decision did not go over well. “They still see me as a man, and they still address me by my original name,” she said. “I have not seen my family in over five years.”
Maya began physically transitioning into a woman during her late thirties, and lived as a woman for two years before getting sexual reassignment surgery in Thailand because she couldn’t afford one in the U.S.
Maya, who herself has two doctorates in naturopathic medicine, including one from Bastyr University in Washington state, said her decision was not a frivolous one. “I didn’t just lose my mind coming to America,” she told India-West. “I would have committed suicide or done the transition to become a complete woman. I had no other way.”
Maya’s story is as much about her physical transition into womanhood as it was about her spiritual one."
Follow the "IndiaWest" link above for the complete story. It's just a little different than the usual transsexual story centering somewhat more on a spiritual basis.
‘
Maya Jafer, a transgender Muslim woman from South Asia, shares her story in the documentary, “Rites of Passage.” (Photos courtesy Jeff Roy)
"Growing up in India, the only person who knew Mohammed Jafer’s true identity was a Buddhist monk: “I see the woman in you,” he said, “and I want to call you Maya because I see a lot of love in you.”
But the 42-year-old — now Maya, who said the name means “love” — from Tamil Nadu always knew she was a woman, even if virtually no one else did.
“I am a woman in a man’s body …” she said, referring to how she felt before she began her transition to physically become a woman. “I was trying to fix everything else, until I realized I have the option inside me.”
That’s the story a new documentary, called “Mohammed to Maya,” tells as it follows Maya, a male-to-female transgender individual, in a physical and spiritual journey into womanhood that pushes the limits of tradition.
Born into a tight-knit, orthodox Muslim family of naturopathic healers, Maya’s decision did not go over well. “They still see me as a man, and they still address me by my original name,” she said. “I have not seen my family in over five years.”
Maya began physically transitioning into a woman during her late thirties, and lived as a woman for two years before getting sexual reassignment surgery in Thailand because she couldn’t afford one in the U.S.
Maya, who herself has two doctorates in naturopathic medicine, including one from Bastyr University in Washington state, said her decision was not a frivolous one. “I didn’t just lose my mind coming to America,” she told India-West. “I would have committed suicide or done the transition to become a complete woman. I had no other way.”
Maya’s story is as much about her physical transition into womanhood as it was about her spiritual one."
Follow the "IndiaWest" link above for the complete story. It's just a little different than the usual transsexual story centering somewhat more on a spiritual basis.
Strong Transgender Message
The incredible coming out story of Tom Gabel is set to move to another public level. Please be aware I don't think the story itself is incredible but the platform is.
Anytime a highly public person "outs" her or his transgender situation in a real life positive manner- the rest of us benefit. Check this video:
Here's more from Spin
On June 19, MTV News will post the first on-camera interview with Grace since she came out, including a Q&A with the full band, and SPIN is premiering a few clips online.
The video snippets from this latest courageous and revealing interview show Grace looking glam-rock elegant, with dark eye makeup, shoulder-length hair, and dangling earrings, but most importantly, she exudes a sense of confidence and, especially, freedom. Grace tells MTV about how she has long seen herself in Madonna — not only as a musician but also as a woman — and how she gradually discovered she wasn't going to grow out of this feeling. "Saying to someone, 'I'm a transsexual,' is the most empowering thing I've ever felt in my whole life," she explains at one point. In a touching moment, this 31-year-old married rocker thanks wife Heather ("my biggest advocate") and expresses concern about how other children might treat their two-year-old daughter.
Get More: Music News
Monday, June 18, 2012
Whose in the Closet Now?
It's been no secret around here in Cyrsti's Condo about who is occupying which closet.
Actually, for the past year my guy self has been spending mega time in that closet.
Interestingly enough for one reason or another (mostly utility and convenience) he has been brought out-dusted off and put into service.
Guess what. I don't like it. I like why I did it but the experience reset my internal gender compass. (to the female side)
I'm going to reference CD Janie's Blog for a second. If you are not familiar, she presents a very feminine image but struggles on occasion about which side of the gender spectrum she will end up.
In fact on occasion, she attempts to live an extended male existence to test her will.
In my own small unintentioned way, I did the same thing.
Yes I know to some of you that makes me an un pure transgender person but to others of you who struggle with the same problems-you will understand.
Even I have felt I was selling out until I felt how much I wanted to put him back in the closet.
Excuse me while I go open the door for him.
Actually, for the past year my guy self has been spending mega time in that closet.
Interestingly enough for one reason or another (mostly utility and convenience) he has been brought out-dusted off and put into service.
Guess what. I don't like it. I like why I did it but the experience reset my internal gender compass. (to the female side)
I'm going to reference CD Janie's Blog for a second. If you are not familiar, she presents a very feminine image but struggles on occasion about which side of the gender spectrum she will end up.
In fact on occasion, she attempts to live an extended male existence to test her will.
In my own small unintentioned way, I did the same thing.
Yes I know to some of you that makes me an un pure transgender person but to others of you who struggle with the same problems-you will understand.
Even I have felt I was selling out until I felt how much I wanted to put him back in the closet.
Excuse me while I go open the door for him.
Trans and Dads Maine Style
With Father's Day now in our recent past, stories continue to keep appearing of dad's and trans daughters.
From Portland, Maine comes this story about a special Father's Day from Ellsworth "Derry" Rundlett:
"I have been a father since 1965. Over 47 years (and three marriages),
I have accrued a few stellar stepchildren. But my son, Ellsworth
Rundlett IV -- "Nick" for short -- was the first.
As a child, Nick seldom forgot my special day in June. When he was little, he gave me handmade cards. As he grew older, Nick would often surprise me with some neat gift. I recall a beautiful Australian lighter that I cherished for its special wind screen. Then there was the running shirt that said, "Born to Run." (I run senior track, and I still wear it almost every time I compete.)
When he was 40 years old, Nick revealed that he had been struggling with gender issues. I was shocked. Unbeknownst to me, my son had lived his entire life with the sense that he was really a daughter. Now the burden of resisting this inner knowledge had become too heavy. Nick planned to transition and become Nicole. I was frightened. I feared for Nicole's future, and that of my grandchildren. What would happen to her job? Her marriage? Her social life? Most of all, what was going to happen to my best friend?
After Nicole confided in me, she embarked on a creative process of
self-actualization and physical transformation. At times it was
difficult, but many people went out of their way to tell us how much
they admired Nicole's bravery and honesty. Now, despite my fears, she is
happy and successful. Most importantly, she is my daughter and she is
still my best friend."
For the complete story go here!
From Portland, Maine comes this story about a special Father's Day from Ellsworth "Derry" Rundlett:
 |
| Nick and Derry |
As a child, Nick seldom forgot my special day in June. When he was little, he gave me handmade cards. As he grew older, Nick would often surprise me with some neat gift. I recall a beautiful Australian lighter that I cherished for its special wind screen. Then there was the running shirt that said, "Born to Run." (I run senior track, and I still wear it almost every time I compete.)
When he was 40 years old, Nick revealed that he had been struggling with gender issues. I was shocked. Unbeknownst to me, my son had lived his entire life with the sense that he was really a daughter. Now the burden of resisting this inner knowledge had become too heavy. Nick planned to transition and become Nicole. I was frightened. I feared for Nicole's future, and that of my grandchildren. What would happen to her job? Her marriage? Her social life? Most of all, what was going to happen to my best friend?
 |
| Partner , Derry and Nicole |
For the complete story go here!
International Linking!
How much fun is it to link up with a fellow "sister" in Eastern Europe? A whole bunch!
I just added Monika and her blog from Poland to our Blog list here in the Condo. You may want to jump over there and check her pictorial and bio on Maria Roman (pictured below)
When you check in with her, don't panic if you are like me and barely speak just one language - there is a translation tab towards the top left of the page.
Gollleee! What they gonna think of next?
Seriously, welcome Monika!
I just added Monika and her blog from Poland to our Blog list here in the Condo. You may want to jump over there and check her pictorial and bio on Maria Roman (pictured below)
When you check in with her, don't panic if you are like me and barely speak just one language - there is a translation tab towards the top left of the page.
Gollleee! What they gonna think of next?Seriously, welcome Monika!
Transsexual in the 60's.
Former British model April Ashley has found her way back into the limelight.
I'm going to pass along a link to the UK Daily Mail and pass along a couple snippets here.
"Born plain George Jamieson, he became the first Briton to have a sex change and sparked countless lurid headlines.
Yesterday the actress and campaigner April Ashley was appointed an MBE for services to transgender equality."
In her glamorous heyday she became a Vogue model, seduced actors Omar Sharif and Peter O’Toole and attracted the amorous attentions of Salvador Dali and Pablo Picasso.
But her world came crashing down in the Sixties when a ‘friend’ sold her story to a newspaper and intimate details of how she had been turned from a man into a woman under a surgeon’s knife caused a sensation.
She bounced back, marrying an aristocrat but that only led to more astonishing revelations."
Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2160560/April-Ashley-MBE-My-night-Micheal-Hutchence-Briton-sex-change.html#ixzz1y76lKXRt
I'm going to pass along a link to the UK Daily Mail and pass along a couple snippets here.
 |
| April Ashley Today |
"Born plain George Jamieson, he became the first Briton to have a sex change and sparked countless lurid headlines.Yesterday the actress and campaigner April Ashley was appointed an MBE for services to transgender equality."
In her glamorous heyday she became a Vogue model, seduced actors Omar Sharif and Peter O’Toole and attracted the amorous attentions of Salvador Dali and Pablo Picasso.
But her world came crashing down in the Sixties when a ‘friend’ sold her story to a newspaper and intimate details of how she had been turned from a man into a woman under a surgeon’s knife caused a sensation.
She bounced back, marrying an aristocrat but that only led to more astonishing revelations."
 |
| April Ashley |
Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2160560/April-Ashley-MBE-My-night-Micheal-Hutchence-Briton-sex-change.html#ixzz1y76lKXRt
"Horror Scope"
Here you go all you Libra's!
You can’t think in a linear way this week, as getting from point A to B won’t be a straight path, but one that requires you to zigzag in leaps and bounds. No matter, if you go with your instincts and know what your goal is, then you'll be fine — as it’ll be one of those perfect weeks to reinstate your philosophical beliefs.
Cool!!!! I'm ready!
From theFrisky
You can’t think in a linear way this week, as getting from point A to B won’t be a straight path, but one that requires you to zigzag in leaps and bounds. No matter, if you go with your instincts and know what your goal is, then you'll be fine — as it’ll be one of those perfect weeks to reinstate your philosophical beliefs.
Cool!!!! I'm ready!
From theFrisky
Sunday, June 17, 2012
Returning to Door Number 3
A couple days ago I posted an article loosely based on the concept of a transgender umbrella called "Behind Door Number 3". I directed all the heavy lifting on this topic to Sherri Lynne.
In the meantime, fellow reader Cerise Richards did some heavy lifting of her own on the topic.
Here's an excerpt:
"Good Morning and Happy Father's day to all TGs who have fathered children. You have produced sperm, inseminated a female who gave you a child (ren) and that makes you a biological male. But I have "Gender on My Mind" today, since Sherri has questioned whether TSs are part of the Transgender Spectrum of Humanity or are they beyond, a result of an "unknown genetic defect" (HBS). Considering we are all human and come with infinite variations of our DNA so that we are all unique. Not even identical twins have identical DNA. We must first appreciate our diversity. Do you know that there are over 300 different mutations of the InterSex condition, Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome and they are all WOMEN in body and spirit, but not female?
For more of her thoughts please go here.
I will add the same message I sent Cerise concerning Sherri Lynne.
Since Sherri is a professional in our field, I consider any feedback I am fortunate enough to receive from her similar to free legal advice.
I'm sure she is the first to expect not everyone agrees with her and I certainly would be the last person to speak for her!
In the meantime, fellow reader Cerise Richards did some heavy lifting of her own on the topic.
Here's an excerpt:
"Good Morning and Happy Father's day to all TGs who have fathered children. You have produced sperm, inseminated a female who gave you a child (ren) and that makes you a biological male. But I have "Gender on My Mind" today, since Sherri has questioned whether TSs are part of the Transgender Spectrum of Humanity or are they beyond, a result of an "unknown genetic defect" (HBS). Considering we are all human and come with infinite variations of our DNA so that we are all unique. Not even identical twins have identical DNA. We must first appreciate our diversity. Do you know that there are over 300 different mutations of the InterSex condition, Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome and they are all WOMEN in body and spirit, but not female?
For more of her thoughts please go here.
I will add the same message I sent Cerise concerning Sherri Lynne.
Since Sherri is a professional in our field, I consider any feedback I am fortunate enough to receive from her similar to free legal advice.
I'm sure she is the first to expect not everyone agrees with her and I certainly would be the last person to speak for her!
1951 Women's Total Beauty Guide
Years ago I was working on finishing my own "girl" room complete with period feminine classics.
One of the classics I came across was this 2 manual "The Charming Woman" series.
For those of us who are into classic beauty and how to achieve it - these are 400 pages of everything you need to know.
Etiquette, makeup, hair, exercise, fashion and so much more!!!
They are binded together in "Art Deco" style books.
I have listed them for sale in one of my "Etsy" shoppes for 22.99 (not including postage.) You should be able to access it here.
The piece was published in 1951 an era when being female did not make you a woman!
One of the classics I came across was this 2 manual "The Charming Woman" series.
For those of us who are into classic beauty and how to achieve it - these are 400 pages of everything you need to know.Etiquette, makeup, hair, exercise, fashion and so much more!!!
They are binded together in "Art Deco" style books.
I have listed them for sale in one of my "Etsy" shoppes for 22.99 (not including postage.) You should be able to access it here.
The piece was published in 1951 an era when being female did not make you a woman!
Supor Dad
On Father's Day I would be remiss in not passing this along if you haven't seen it:
"Filmmaker Sharon Shattuck hailed from a conservative Midwestern town where everyone knew everyone else’s business. But she thought she had a secret: her dad was transgender.
Project Dad (working title), a Co-Production of Wicked Delicate Films (Co-creators of King Corn; The City Dark, The Greening of Southie), follows the filmmaker’s quest to understand her dad’s side of the story through a two-way dialogue. At turns humorous and heartwarming, the film uses a mix of footage shot by the filmmaker, and point-of-view flip-camera footage shot by her subjects, to answer the question, “What does it take to be a family?” Springing from her experiences growing up in a supportive family surrounded by outside misunderstanding, the filmmaker seeks out other children of non-traditional families, expectant LGBT parents, family law experts, and politicians from both sides of the fence, to craft a film that is national in scope, and centered on hope and redemption."
Here's the link for more!
"Filmmaker Sharon Shattuck hailed from a conservative Midwestern town where everyone knew everyone else’s business. But she thought she had a secret: her dad was transgender.
Project Dad (working title), a Co-Production of Wicked Delicate Films (Co-creators of King Corn; The City Dark, The Greening of Southie), follows the filmmaker’s quest to understand her dad’s side of the story through a two-way dialogue. At turns humorous and heartwarming, the film uses a mix of footage shot by the filmmaker, and point-of-view flip-camera footage shot by her subjects, to answer the question, “What does it take to be a family?” Springing from her experiences growing up in a supportive family surrounded by outside misunderstanding, the filmmaker seeks out other children of non-traditional families, expectant LGBT parents, family law experts, and politicians from both sides of the fence, to craft a film that is national in scope, and centered on hope and redemption."
Here's the link for more!
Hey Dad!
It's Fathers Day and Dad you have been gone for almost a decade now. You had a life to be proud of, all 86 years of it.
You and the family survived the Great Depression and WWII. In many ways you were the "self made man."
No, you never really knew me but hey that's OK. It's hard to say where you would have taken my transgender status and it doesn't really matter now.
I guess you can say I followed in your footsteps to a degree and am making myself into the "un made man".
Right or wrong your genetic gifts sent me down a fierce path of perservance and discovery.
So on another Father's Day, I sit here thinking about you. In your own way, I'm sure you did love me but love was a four letter word in our family. (Never spoken.)
So the best I can hope for is that you would have seen I took the only path which felt right for me and at the least you would have been a little proud.
You and the family survived the Great Depression and WWII. In many ways you were the "self made man."
No, you never really knew me but hey that's OK. It's hard to say where you would have taken my transgender status and it doesn't really matter now.
I guess you can say I followed in your footsteps to a degree and am making myself into the "un made man".
Right or wrong your genetic gifts sent me down a fierce path of perservance and discovery.
So on another Father's Day, I sit here thinking about you. In your own way, I'm sure you did love me but love was a four letter word in our family. (Never spoken.)
So the best I can hope for is that you would have seen I took the only path which felt right for me and at the least you would have been a little proud.
Saturday, June 16, 2012
Behind Door Number 3....
I'm always flattered when somehow I trigger an intellectual response to the gender intensive lives we live.
In a second I will direct you to one such example from Sherri Lynne.
I asked her for her ideas on various life forms under the transgender umbrella.
First, a disclaimer/explanation of the evolution of this form known as Cyrsti's Transgender Condo.
Two years ago this whole exercise started as a documentation of my trip down gender lane-nothing more-nothing less. Not surprisingly, I found out a percentage of folks found my stories interesting and of course (more than a few) not so much.
As I started to be a bit of a Reader's Digest of our culture, of course I thought I would add a few of my own thoughts which pretty much brings us to where we are today. Of course I have my passions. Fortunately for all of you, I don't have the inclination or the background to embark on long in depth clinical discussions.
My goal has always been to provide a common look at our culture. Often it is not so easy. Pause for a moment and consider the problem of loosely describing a person's "genderality". Imagine adding transgender, transsexual, gender queer or cross dresser to every person's descriptor which you aren't sure of. Yet, here we are.
Now, I'm going to direct you here to Sherri Lynne for her take on the labels.
I love it when she calls me a muse instead of one that amuses!
In a second I will direct you to one such example from Sherri Lynne.
I asked her for her ideas on various life forms under the transgender umbrella.
First, a disclaimer/explanation of the evolution of this form known as Cyrsti's Transgender Condo.
Two years ago this whole exercise started as a documentation of my trip down gender lane-nothing more-nothing less. Not surprisingly, I found out a percentage of folks found my stories interesting and of course (more than a few) not so much.
As I started to be a bit of a Reader's Digest of our culture, of course I thought I would add a few of my own thoughts which pretty much brings us to where we are today. Of course I have my passions. Fortunately for all of you, I don't have the inclination or the background to embark on long in depth clinical discussions.
My goal has always been to provide a common look at our culture. Often it is not so easy. Pause for a moment and consider the problem of loosely describing a person's "genderality". Imagine adding transgender, transsexual, gender queer or cross dresser to every person's descriptor which you aren't sure of. Yet, here we are.
Now, I'm going to direct you here to Sherri Lynne for her take on the labels.
I love it when she calls me a muse instead of one that amuses!
Friday, June 15, 2012
A Bit of History
As she does so many times on her wonderful blog, Zagria's A Gender Variance Who's Who-
She really sent me down memory lane with her feature on female impersonator star "Kim August".
For those of you "more mature" trans readers, you may remember her. She was one of the few performers who made it main stream enough so even I had heard of her in my conservative pre internet world.
Go here
to check it out!
She really sent me down memory lane with her feature on female impersonator star "Kim August".
For those of you "more mature" trans readers, you may remember her. She was one of the few performers who made it main stream enough so even I had heard of her in my conservative pre internet world.
Go here
to check it out!
When you Hot-You Hot!!!
Just had to pass along this photo of "Carmen Carrerra", the transsexual woman involved in the "Cake Boss" fiasco on TLC Network.
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| Carmen Carrrera |
New Post over There!
Just posted a new post over at "TG Reporter"!
If you would like to check it out, go here.
Just go to the bottom left of the page for my column.
Thanks!
If you would like to check it out, go here.
Just go to the bottom left of the page for my column.
Thanks!
Thursday, June 14, 2012
Transsexual Courage Under Fire
Surely it seems the path to coming out as a transsexual firefighter would be an exceptionally difficult journey.
Recently the "Fire 20/20" site featured an article by Lana Moore.
Here's an excerpt:
"On the wall at my engine house hangs a large framed photo featuring
the silhouette of a firefighter against vivid flames. Underneath is a
caption that reads: “Courage comes from a reserve of mind more powerful
than outside circumstances.” As emergency first responders we are often
lauded for our courage following some bold public act, yet I believe
that the hardest courage is sometimes being brave enough to be honest
with yourself.
Coming out as a male to female transsexual on the fire department wasn't easy. Wow, that's an understatement if ever there was one. In fact, for the longest time, not only did I think it would be extremely difficult, I believed it impossible. Having been on female hormones for two years, my physical transformation was well under way. I had recently separated from my wife and our marriage dissolution was pending. I decided that it was time to make my announcement and begin living socially and professionally as a woman, but I was convinced that there was no reality for me where I could be true to myself and also keep my job as a Fire Captain."
Check out the link for more of this wonderful story!
Recently the "Fire 20/20" site featured an article by Lana Moore.
Here's an excerpt:
"On the wall at my engine house hangs a large framed photo featuring
the silhouette of a firefighter against vivid flames. Underneath is a
caption that reads: “Courage comes from a reserve of mind more powerful
than outside circumstances.” As emergency first responders we are often
lauded for our courage following some bold public act, yet I believe
that the hardest courage is sometimes being brave enough to be honest
with yourself.Coming out as a male to female transsexual on the fire department wasn't easy. Wow, that's an understatement if ever there was one. In fact, for the longest time, not only did I think it would be extremely difficult, I believed it impossible. Having been on female hormones for two years, my physical transformation was well under way. I had recently separated from my wife and our marriage dissolution was pending. I decided that it was time to make my announcement and begin living socially and professionally as a woman, but I was convinced that there was no reality for me where I could be true to myself and also keep my job as a Fire Captain."
Check out the link for more of this wonderful story!
"Title of the Day"!
Internalized Transphobia: Butch Worship and the Misogyny of Femme Bashing.
No comment-"I doesn't know it?"
No comment-"I doesn't know it?"
Never Too Old!
"Man enough to be a woman". Here's an excerpt:
"Qian Jinfan (钱今凡), a 84-year-old calligrapher, art critic and retired government official based in Foshan, has become China's oldest openly transgender individual, after outing herself in an an exclusive interview with the Southern Metropolitan Daily, in her bid to promote understanding of transgenders in China."
Although I know many in our community scorn so called "late bloomers" such as Qian (and I) it's a tribute to transgender individuals of any age to finally be able to persue their gender quest and it's a bigger tribute to those who go public with their lives!
Just an Idea
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| Really? |
The idea is that the skeletal King sit down with the "Cake Boss". He has to model a T-shirt and King has to eat some cake and not run to the nearest bathroom.
Two Spirits Headed To DC.
PBS-Independent Lens broadcasted the film TWO SPIRITS nationally from June 14th-29th, 2011.
A year later, the "Two Spirit Group" has been invited to the White House! Follow this link
to learn more plus news about another project "Shi Ma' ".
to learn more plus news about another project "Shi Ma' ".
More Cake
According to the L.A. Times, Carrera felt that producers brought her on the show under false pretenses, making her believe that she would be a role model for the transgender community, but instead fell victim to Valastro's "homophobic prank."
Good, I sort of like cake. Never watched the show any how.
Wednesday, June 13, 2012
Having Your Cake and Not Eating It Too
Perhaps you've heard, read or even seen the episode of "Cake Boss" in which transgender beauty Carmen Carrera is bullied after a prank.
This version of the "prank" and the reaction comes from "NewNowNext".
"You know what’s a funny, funny way to get ratings? Do what the producers of Cake Bossdid and get a transgender woman on your show, convince her that you are helping to promote awareness with her role on the program and then publicly shame and mock her. Hatred is hysterical!"
 |
| Carmen Carrera |
This version of the "prank" and the reaction comes from "NewNowNext".
"You know what’s a funny, funny way to get ratings? Do what the producers of Cake Bossdid and get a transgender woman on your show, convince her that you are helping to promote awareness with her role on the program and then publicly shame and mock her. Hatred is hysterical!"
"For their part some of the sensitive, sensitive souls at Cake Boss
then thought it would be funny to continue to shame Carmen after the
episode aired. When someone mocked Anthony, the castmember the prank was
played on, for kissing a man, Anthony had this to say: “hahaha nah I didn’t it give [sic] me a kiss on the cheek.”
“It” gave him a kiss on the cheek. What an amazing guy that Anthony must be."
Follow the link to read Carrera's comments. Of course she was upset but couldn't a lot of people see this coming? Pranking a guy into thinking he was kissing a genetic woman? Really? How's that working for everyone? Not so good.
There is a petition on "Change.Org" demanding an well deserved apology though and the "Cake Boss" star "Buddy Valastro has already done just that.
Transgender in the Work Place
Transgender In The Workplace: An Idea Whose Time Is Now
It’s a remarkable moment to be openly transgender and
working for a living. Extraordinary
progress has occurred in this timely area of business interest over the last
dozen years or so. For example, in the
year 2000 there were only three Fortune
500 companies with anti-discrimination protection for transgender
employees. Today, nearly half of the Fortune 500 organizations have adopted
policies that protect transgender employees from discrimination.
Despite various political efforts to pass a
transgender-inclusive Employment Non-Discrimination Act (ENDA), there is still
no federal statute that protects transgender workers. However, in an amazing turn of events, in
April of 2012, the federal government’s Equal Employment Opportunity Commission
ruled that Title VII of the Civil Rights Act protects transgender workers from
on-the-job discrimination. The ruling formally took effect on May 23, 2012, and
the nation's employers have now officially been put on notice that transgender
discrimination won't be tolerated in the workplace.
Here's your link for more!
Tuesday, June 12, 2012
Where's That Soapbox?
As you probably have determined, I have a soap box with me at all times. I jump up on it to preach or whine.
Or maybe a big ax to grind would be a great description too! It's tough to make these great fashion accessories and I feel both just make me a victim. (Which I hate.)
Actually, life is good. Summer in my part of the world has allowed me to pursue fashion styles I was never able to try.
(Work prevented me from showing up with suddenly hairless arms.)
I've even been able to slowly coerce a little color out of my very fair skin.
Interestingly, I have been able to "jender jump" without apprehension or fear to help family or friends. I can't or don't want to jump much. If I wanted to be a guy, I certainly would have found something less stressful to do with my life than crossing gender boundaries. On the other hand, what's left of any male strength I have left has helped family and friends.
Now that I have a stable concrete transition timetable saying goodby to my old life isn't so difficult all of the sudden.
Obviously changes are rolling along with my body which aren't so earth shattering anymore but still very noticeable. All of the sudden it seems my whole body needs soaked in cocoa butter to stay soft and not dry. Also, I was never very heat resistant but now it's worse. I have not acquired the feminine desire to lay out and soak up the sun-guess I'm a vampire.
I'm asked by some what has been the biggest change so far? For me, the hot flashes are far and away stand out. Never have I experienced anything like them.
Sure I get more emotional and sure my breasts are much more sensitive but in lesser doses I still experienced them as a guy. If you have ever heard of a human suddenly internally combusting- it started with a hot flash I'm sure.
So it is time to soak in a huge dose of reality. Put the ax down, burn the soap box ( with a hot flash) and acquire a big piece of fine cheese to go with my whine!
Or maybe a big ax to grind would be a great description too! It's tough to make these great fashion accessories and I feel both just make me a victim. (Which I hate.)
Actually, life is good. Summer in my part of the world has allowed me to pursue fashion styles I was never able to try.
(Work prevented me from showing up with suddenly hairless arms.)
I've even been able to slowly coerce a little color out of my very fair skin.
Interestingly, I have been able to "jender jump" without apprehension or fear to help family or friends. I can't or don't want to jump much. If I wanted to be a guy, I certainly would have found something less stressful to do with my life than crossing gender boundaries. On the other hand, what's left of any male strength I have left has helped family and friends.
Now that I have a stable concrete transition timetable saying goodby to my old life isn't so difficult all of the sudden.
Obviously changes are rolling along with my body which aren't so earth shattering anymore but still very noticeable. All of the sudden it seems my whole body needs soaked in cocoa butter to stay soft and not dry. Also, I was never very heat resistant but now it's worse. I have not acquired the feminine desire to lay out and soak up the sun-guess I'm a vampire.
I'm asked by some what has been the biggest change so far? For me, the hot flashes are far and away stand out. Never have I experienced anything like them.
Sure I get more emotional and sure my breasts are much more sensitive but in lesser doses I still experienced them as a guy. If you have ever heard of a human suddenly internally combusting- it started with a hot flash I'm sure.
So it is time to soak in a huge dose of reality. Put the ax down, burn the soap box ( with a hot flash) and acquire a big piece of fine cheese to go with my whine!
Peers As Gender Police
If she will allow me to refer to her as sort of our resident therapist, Sherri Lynne has a new post on her blog. The article references our peers as gender police. Here's an excerpt:
You can read the entire article here!
The one addition I would love to see is Sherry address is the extreme rift in the transgender or transsexual community about who we are. (She did say a little about it but anything in depth from her is great!)
In fact I just had an old friend tell me he thought there was some sort of a "sisterhood" in our community and I told him I'm not so sure.
Allow me to bring up the number of "sisters" who reject me quickly because I'm not sexually promiscuous or the ones who have said I'm just another old guy starting hormones or the ones who are sure I can't pee in the woman's room because I haven't forked out the thousands of dollars for the privilege.
Just where are the gender police?
Everywhere. It's life.
"Interestingly, the most negative people about the realities of our lives
both as individuals and in varying collectives include the extreme
Right and the Extreme Left.
For one group, our very existence on the earth is anathema. For the
other group, our very right to a unified gender identity is sacrilege. I
find both extremes both nullifying simultaneously."
The one addition I would love to see is Sherry address is the extreme rift in the transgender or transsexual community about who we are. (She did say a little about it but anything in depth from her is great!)
In fact I just had an old friend tell me he thought there was some sort of a "sisterhood" in our community and I told him I'm not so sure.
Allow me to bring up the number of "sisters" who reject me quickly because I'm not sexually promiscuous or the ones who have said I'm just another old guy starting hormones or the ones who are sure I can't pee in the woman's room because I haven't forked out the thousands of dollars for the privilege.
Just where are the gender police?
Everywhere. It's life.
Sunday, June 10, 2012
Privilege versus Stereotypes.
I would like to thank all of you for your comments on my previous post "Male Privilege"
First of all I know the whole subject is very current and active in our community but I was still sort of surprised (and then not) of the reactions to mine.
Many of you know sometimes I go past cynicism right to sarcasm. For a fact, you have to be a better writer than I to play in that sandbox effectively. So perhaps I didn't communicate my sarcasm effectively enough in this post.
Some of you want to take a few of my comments way too seriously. By the way, my second year in the eighth grade taught me what sociology is and my second degree in college taught me what it isn't.
What it isn't and what this blog isn't about is some sort of intellectual look at a trans existence.
Basically (as in the case with many of you) this blog is just an exercise in my reality. Cyrsti's Condo is a diary. Maybe it's a manifestation of the diary my male privilege discouraged?
I do my best to deal in two realities. I try my best to leave the endless intellectual bantering to others. More power to them- in 10,000 words or more. Go ahead and invent a new way to beat the same dead horse.
The other is to stay away from the meanest most virulent anti transsexual or transgender people I have ever encountered. "Rad Fem Trans Nazi's". I can't wait for the John Waters film!
Enough of that, here is my simple minded bottom line privilege theory:
Each person's privileges are as different as humans are.. There it is.
Look, I know it's an intensely complex and personal subject for all of us so I do like to read other concise ideas on the subject such as "Sherri Lynn's" link.
Then there are the off setting female privileges. Read some of Angel's posts to have an idea.
For the rest of you-lighten up for God's sake!
First of all I know the whole subject is very current and active in our community but I was still sort of surprised (and then not) of the reactions to mine.
Many of you know sometimes I go past cynicism right to sarcasm. For a fact, you have to be a better writer than I to play in that sandbox effectively. So perhaps I didn't communicate my sarcasm effectively enough in this post.
Some of you want to take a few of my comments way too seriously. By the way, my second year in the eighth grade taught me what sociology is and my second degree in college taught me what it isn't.
What it isn't and what this blog isn't about is some sort of intellectual look at a trans existence.
Basically (as in the case with many of you) this blog is just an exercise in my reality. Cyrsti's Condo is a diary. Maybe it's a manifestation of the diary my male privilege discouraged?
I do my best to deal in two realities. I try my best to leave the endless intellectual bantering to others. More power to them- in 10,000 words or more. Go ahead and invent a new way to beat the same dead horse.
The other is to stay away from the meanest most virulent anti transsexual or transgender people I have ever encountered. "Rad Fem Trans Nazi's". I can't wait for the John Waters film!
Enough of that, here is my simple minded bottom line privilege theory:
Each person's privileges are as different as humans are.. There it is.
Look, I know it's an intensely complex and personal subject for all of us so I do like to read other concise ideas on the subject such as "Sherri Lynn's" link.
Then there are the off setting female privileges. Read some of Angel's posts to have an idea.
For the rest of you-lighten up for God's sake!
So Many Faces So Little Time
I enjoyed a wonderful fun day yesterday. Attended a local very well attended artisan street fair with a gf..
My ultimate goal in this post would be to toss out the fact I'm transgender all together.You all know that, right? Unfortunately as they say in the old country "That ain't happenin".
Actually yesterday, most of the public did just that. They did better it than I did. Most didn't notice or care if I was transgender, green or purple or both.
Let me backtrack into several larger forces at work here.
For simplicity, lets mold identity and presenting into one. Then maybe public perception and stealth into another.
(You know how much 6,000 word thesis posts bore me.)
Through all the twists and turns of my life, 62 years have taught me I identify as transgender-not transsexual. For better or for worse a certain percentage of the public will discover that. Fortunately for me, the public is coming to a little better understanding of what a transgender person is all about.
Ironically, I'm learning with them. I have a delightful friend who I used to identify as a ftm transsexual but now I think he is more of a transgender male. He is about half my age and enjoys being mistaken for a male but is not sure of starting hormones.
So, if I present transgender woman to the portion of the public who notices then it's up to me and on intelligent publicity to educate. No slam to either group but I'm more (not better) than a guy in a dress or less than a guy with new genitalia.
Finally, let me flip two words: present and public perception.
Doing this allows everything to become nice and orderly in my world until I get to stealth.
I have never like the term and basically had no respect for the individuals in the trans culture who basically assumed the roll of their chosen gender and disappeared into society.
My problem is yesterday, for the most part I was stealth to the great majority of the general public.
Of course I have concocted a rationalization for not resenting myself.
My friends have so totally embraced me as a transgender woman. It's their fault! Just kidding.
What has happened is I have grown past a word into a person, I'm just me. For better or worse I am some sort of a gender blend.
How's that working for me? Pretty well. Just why did it take 62 years to get here?
My ultimate goal in this post would be to toss out the fact I'm transgender all together.You all know that, right? Unfortunately as they say in the old country "That ain't happenin".
Actually yesterday, most of the public did just that. They did better it than I did. Most didn't notice or care if I was transgender, green or purple or both.
Let me backtrack into several larger forces at work here.
For simplicity, lets mold identity and presenting into one. Then maybe public perception and stealth into another.
(You know how much 6,000 word thesis posts bore me.)
Through all the twists and turns of my life, 62 years have taught me I identify as transgender-not transsexual. For better or for worse a certain percentage of the public will discover that. Fortunately for me, the public is coming to a little better understanding of what a transgender person is all about.
Ironically, I'm learning with them. I have a delightful friend who I used to identify as a ftm transsexual but now I think he is more of a transgender male. He is about half my age and enjoys being mistaken for a male but is not sure of starting hormones.
So, if I present transgender woman to the portion of the public who notices then it's up to me and on intelligent publicity to educate. No slam to either group but I'm more (not better) than a guy in a dress or less than a guy with new genitalia.
Finally, let me flip two words: present and public perception.
Doing this allows everything to become nice and orderly in my world until I get to stealth.
I have never like the term and basically had no respect for the individuals in the trans culture who basically assumed the roll of their chosen gender and disappeared into society.
My problem is yesterday, for the most part I was stealth to the great majority of the general public.
Of course I have concocted a rationalization for not resenting myself.
My friends have so totally embraced me as a transgender woman. It's their fault! Just kidding.
What has happened is I have grown past a word into a person, I'm just me. For better or worse I am some sort of a gender blend.
How's that working for me? Pretty well. Just why did it take 62 years to get here?
Friday, June 8, 2012
A Huge Dose of Male Privilege
What would the "Rad Fem's" say? Or even the Rad Trans Fem's?
I was privileged this week to work on a long put off plumbing project in my old house!
What was I thinking?
I learned how much I have missed the very male part of my life which involved crawling around on the floor and in walls doing plumbing!
About 4 pm today, I was thinking just how privileged I was to have been born male.
Actually (another tip from a close friend) I am privileged. She has pointed out on more than one occasion I should appreciate experience not from a gender viewpoint but from a life viewpoint.
Sure, a plumbing project may not be my ideal but it had to get done and as she said I was lucky I knew how to do it.
So-would I be subjected to a double standard by the "Rad Peeps"?
After all, if a genetic female works on plumbing she is pushing the bounds of the female experience. If I'm doing it, it's my male privilege.
I feel almost as good about exercising my privilege as the first flow of water coming out of the faucets!
I was privileged this week to work on a long put off plumbing project in my old house!
What was I thinking?
I learned how much I have missed the very male part of my life which involved crawling around on the floor and in walls doing plumbing!
About 4 pm today, I was thinking just how privileged I was to have been born male.
Actually (another tip from a close friend) I am privileged. She has pointed out on more than one occasion I should appreciate experience not from a gender viewpoint but from a life viewpoint.
Sure, a plumbing project may not be my ideal but it had to get done and as she said I was lucky I knew how to do it.
So-would I be subjected to a double standard by the "Rad Peeps"?
After all, if a genetic female works on plumbing she is pushing the bounds of the female experience. If I'm doing it, it's my male privilege.
I feel almost as good about exercising my privilege as the first flow of water coming out of the faucets!
Thursday, June 7, 2012
Back in It-I think!
In the last week or so I have had a real tough time getting my computer to work it's magic here in "Cyrsti's Condo".
Not being "techno girl" and knowing just enough computer knowledge to be dangerous, I think I may have gotten some of the "bugs" out of here and should be able to do more posting.
As far as the real world goes (or what I perceive it to be), the hormones seem to be stepping up the game a little. "The girls" have gone through another phase of soreness and hardness. My hips and rear are adding some flesh and definitely hot flashes aren't my best summertime girl friends.
The most interesting change to me so far is how my body skin has started to dry out so to speak.
I've used more body lotion/moisturizer in the last month than in my whole life.
Other than that, my life is pretty well passing for normal. Pretty neat comparison, right?
So, the two next summer milestones are the doctors appointments. As of yet, I have not heard back on my VA appeal and some actual work on my own hair later this summer.
Little did I know as little as eight months ago how routine this all has become.
Much of the progress I attribute to several close friends who have unwaveringly accepted my transgender status.
Most read this blog and I can't ever begin to say how much it means!
Not being "techno girl" and knowing just enough computer knowledge to be dangerous, I think I may have gotten some of the "bugs" out of here and should be able to do more posting.
As far as the real world goes (or what I perceive it to be), the hormones seem to be stepping up the game a little. "The girls" have gone through another phase of soreness and hardness. My hips and rear are adding some flesh and definitely hot flashes aren't my best summertime girl friends.
The most interesting change to me so far is how my body skin has started to dry out so to speak.
I've used more body lotion/moisturizer in the last month than in my whole life.
Other than that, my life is pretty well passing for normal. Pretty neat comparison, right?
So, the two next summer milestones are the doctors appointments. As of yet, I have not heard back on my VA appeal and some actual work on my own hair later this summer.
Little did I know as little as eight months ago how routine this all has become.
Much of the progress I attribute to several close friends who have unwaveringly accepted my transgender status.
Most read this blog and I can't ever begin to say how much it means!
It is What it Is
Then again it may be to you but not to the person next to you. Sure, we are all humans and all different. No real problem with that until someone decides to not respect your difference
For transgender or transsexual folk-this is particularly true. We live it.
Jillian Page writes a very interesting blog for the "Montreal Gazette" .
Her latest post "My Identity, My Right" (in a round about way) addresses the "It is what it is" dynamic.
Jillian begins with a mention of recent progress made in Argentina — which allows people to change name and sex based simply on how they feel, without any forms of approval from anyone else.
Here's the good part:
" I wish to remind all of my trans readers and their supporters that you don’t owe the general public any explanations or apologies for your transgenderism or transsexualism. Religious fundamentalists, RadFems et al are entitled to their opinions about trans stuff — to a point — but those opinions are irrelevant: You owe them nothing.There’s no need to try to convert them to your way of thinking, or to tell them to mind their own business. Just hit the “ignore” key, literally or figuratively, when their negativity gets you down.
Of course, when it comes to being oppressed by people who oppose transgenderism, that’s another matter. Then it’s time to take a stand. But trans people already know that . . . Smiles . . . You are doing very well, sisters and brothers. You are making progress by leaps and bounds.
So it is what it is- if you believe!
Thanks Jillian.
For transgender or transsexual folk-this is particularly true. We live it.
Jillian Page writes a very interesting blog for the "Montreal Gazette" .
Her latest post "My Identity, My Right" (in a round about way) addresses the "It is what it is" dynamic.
Jillian begins with a mention of recent progress made in Argentina — which allows people to change name and sex based simply on how they feel, without any forms of approval from anyone else.
Here's the good part:
" I wish to remind all of my trans readers and their supporters that you don’t owe the general public any explanations or apologies for your transgenderism or transsexualism. Religious fundamentalists, RadFems et al are entitled to their opinions about trans stuff — to a point — but those opinions are irrelevant: You owe them nothing.There’s no need to try to convert them to your way of thinking, or to tell them to mind their own business. Just hit the “ignore” key, literally or figuratively, when their negativity gets you down.
Of course, when it comes to being oppressed by people who oppose transgenderism, that’s another matter. Then it’s time to take a stand. But trans people already know that . . . Smiles . . . You are doing very well, sisters and brothers. You are making progress by leaps and bounds.
So it is what it is- if you believe!
Thanks Jillian.
Wednesday, June 6, 2012
Trans World Bloggin
Is it good or bad when a large portion of the transgender - transsexual news yesterday was the announcement that Janet Jackson was going to produce some sort of documentary on the "plight" of trans women and men around the world.
While I have deep suspicions of her true motives (outside of money), I guess if it is well done the old saying could be true. Any publicity is good publicity. What makes me uneasy is the unspoken connection between this project and her brother Micheal. At the least, his sexuality and gender was very ambiguous. I'm just afraid of the trans culture being tossed into the "fond of young kids" culture.
Bottom line is, Janet didn't call me about this!
On the positive side, I have discovered a great little blog by "Michelleliana" called "Transgender Talk"
Her latest post on the path to coming out at work is very informative and involves the curse of the bathroom! (Really?)
Whoever thought, peeing would reach such a point of substance?
Or not as I found out Saturday during my first visit as a woman to a festival "Port-A-John". A chance to experience unisex at it's best and worst.
The good news? It was early in the day and the "John" was "fresh" and no potential sensitivities were disturbed in a mostly non reactive public. Everyone's equal in that line! .
More good news? I wont go into "Port a John" experiences that are pretty negative from the viewpoint of both genders but REALLY negative from a female one.
I have a female friend who takes great pleasure in saying "welcome in sister"! Ha-Ha.
While I have deep suspicions of her true motives (outside of money), I guess if it is well done the old saying could be true. Any publicity is good publicity. What makes me uneasy is the unspoken connection between this project and her brother Micheal. At the least, his sexuality and gender was very ambiguous. I'm just afraid of the trans culture being tossed into the "fond of young kids" culture.
Bottom line is, Janet didn't call me about this!
On the positive side, I have discovered a great little blog by "Michelleliana" called "Transgender Talk"
Her latest post on the path to coming out at work is very informative and involves the curse of the bathroom! (Really?)
Whoever thought, peeing would reach such a point of substance?
Or not as I found out Saturday during my first visit as a woman to a festival "Port-A-John". A chance to experience unisex at it's best and worst.
The good news? It was early in the day and the "John" was "fresh" and no potential sensitivities were disturbed in a mostly non reactive public. Everyone's equal in that line! .
More good news? I wont go into "Port a John" experiences that are pretty negative from the viewpoint of both genders but REALLY negative from a female one.
I have a female friend who takes great pleasure in saying "welcome in sister"! Ha-Ha.
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