Who Wrote "Hypocrite" on my Mirror?

I received two quick responses (thank you!) on my "Wedgie" Cyrsti's Condo post this morning.  One is just plain truth and one led me to think I'm not so keen with the written word on occasion. The first is from Alexis:

"Hey, I wish you best wishes as you begin to step out in public. It is a difficult thing to do, especially if you do it right in front of all those who have known you as your maleness. When I did that, I found that what others had told me---not everyone will be gracious and accepting of this transition. Though I suffered no physical hurt, the number of friends and family who suddenly began ignoring me like I no longer existed still bothers me today. So, again,good fortunes on your road ahead. I know I did what I simply had to do, and I have never regretted doing it for a single moment......alexis"

You are so correct in everything you said! In this post I tended to think everyone was a mind reader and  I neglected to fill in much needed info.  Such as I live a huge percentage of my life out- as a trans woman with a group of friends who have never met what is left of my male self. But not in the town where I live.  More and more I began to feel I was a bigger and bigger hypocrite and I hate that. It is time in my life to do more than nothing about the situation where I live. Just sitting back in bigger cities around me and saying...yes it does suck in my town just isn't good enough anymore! Thanks so much Alexis!!!!

Sharon added:

"There is more condemning in the bible for those that get a divorce or playing around with more then their intended mate then there is for being a gay person"

Kind of funny how that works...right Sharon?  But speaking of the righty bible bitches...one of the methods they are trying is to drive a wedge between the TGLB community and the traditional Civil Rights community of color...divide and conquer.  The work of a true Christian? "Me thinks" not!

Thanks Sharon

Transgender Spouses in the Military

Seemingly, when it rains it pours with posts concerning transgender veterans and their interaction when serving on active duty and after they are discharged.

You regulars here in Cyrsti's Condo know I am a transgender Viet Nam era veteran of the U.S Army, so of course I have a very active interest in all the happenings.

Another very active source for news is Out Serve Magazine and in particular Brynn Tannehill who writes:

"In the past few months, same sex military partners have been part of the collective American conversation. When the Fort Bragg Spouse’s Club resorted to naked discrimination and active condescension to keep Ashley Broadway out, it was splashed all over the news. When Secretary of Defense Leon Panetta extended as many benefits as possible to married same sex partners under the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA), the LGB community celebrated. When the Supreme Court heard oral arguments on the constitutionality of Article III of DOMA, the plight of same sex military couples was front and center in the reasons for striking the law down. However, as all this was going on, I realized that another situation has gone unmentioned. What happens when the spouse of a military person is transgender? Some might argue that this is a very rare situation, and doesn’t need attention. However, my recent interactions with a number of transgender people associated with the military say that this situation is far more common than people realize.

A few weeks ago a trans woman in the Dayton area sent me a message asking me if I remembered a female colonel I worked for while I was still on active duty. I did, and replied that I liked her because she generally had a good read on who everyone in the command was and what they were doing. What she wrote next blew my mind. “She came out as a lesbian after she retired in 2008. We’re married now.” A little further digging revealed that they had met and gotten married after the trans woman had transitioned. However, because of military regulations and DOMA, the trans woman did not have base access, Tricare, or any of the other benefits the spouse of a retired colonel would normally have. In short, the military regards them as a same sex couple. But my marriage is regarded as a heterosexual one because I transitioned after we were married, even though in both cases we are trans women married to another woman.

At about the same time, I also spoke with a trans man in the military. He talked about the difficulties he and his boyfriend, a civilian trans man who lives in Washington DC, expect if they get married. Another situation that came up in discussion recently was a trans woman (MTF) I know who is closeted, but on active duty. She is married to a trans man (FTM) who is just starting transition. When the trans man civilian spouse went to medical to start hormone therapy, they refused to treat him unless his spouse came in and verified that she knew what was happening and approved.

Given all of these situations, figuring out which marriages the government will regard as gay or straight is a mind boggling exercise in one of the grayest areas of law. In the case of the retired colonel, the marriage is gay, but only because the trans woman transitioned before the marriage and wasn’t born in Idaho, Ohio, Tennessee, or Texas (where birth certificate gender changes are not legally allowed). However, the two trans men may or may not be a gay marriage, depending if the one in DC changed his SSN gender marker before or after they got married. The trans woman in the military married to a trans man is a heterosexual couple, but the trans man can’t change his gender in DEERS because of DOMA."

In addition, I live close to the Dayton, Ohio area mentioned above.

At the least- as Brynn wrote- this whole situation deals in the deepest shade of gender gray there is and this just scratches the surface. To read more go here.

Aussie Prison Trans Rehab?

Paul Wayne Luckman/Nicole Louise Pearce

For quite some time now wife killer Robert "Michelle" Kosilek has captured headlines for his bid to have a state funded sex change.  It turns out Australia too has a history of violent men who become women behind bars. This story comes from the Australian News. It chronicles the stories of a few male criminals who transitioned to women behind bars.
Follow the link above for more.

I Was Wrong

OK, I deserve this. I was wrong about judging the Nat Geo Taboo show .
I over reacted to the sensationalized promos-I admit it.
The transsexual portions of the show were accurate and predictable. The producers played lip service to other trans groups in other parts of the world and featured the really phenomenal fairy tale transition of one attractive person who happened to be a trans man this time.
I suppose it's good shows such as this for the most part seem mundane to me. At the same time I do have a deep hope the shows do educate someone- anyone.
Here's what I was wrong about- the Chris-Tina segment.  I'm not sure I have seen anyone describe my situation as close as she did. Briefly, if you didn't see the show yet Chris-tina is very unapologetic of being a Hybrid (her terms). At this time she has no interest in being a complete woman or man.
Then came a Sociology Professor who essentially said individuals such as Chris-tina  totally collapse the gender binary.
Think about it. It's a simple concept and is the reason for much of the angst in the trans community too.
Try this out:  set up a table of some sort in which the number ten represents a true transsexual and the number one  -a true cross dresser and a true transgender as a five.  Between nine and two you can fill in with the gender fluid term.
My theory is the true transsexual and the true cross dresser identify with the so called outside/mainstream genders they become or emulate.
Essentially, it's hard for them to understand a gender fluid transgender person as they have never experienced  it. The same as I have never experienced growing up Hispanic, Black or Asian.
So now I think I  know why you transsexuals or cross dressers don't understand me. I'm collapsing your gender binary too.
Overall though, this is one of the times that being wrong was right!
Thanks Chris-Tina!

Back in It-I think!

In the last week or so I have had a real tough time getting my computer to work it's magic here in "Cyrsti's Condo".
Not being "techno girl" and knowing just enough computer knowledge to be dangerous, I think I may have gotten some of the "bugs" out of here and should be able to do more posting.
As far as the real world goes (or what I perceive it to be), the hormones seem to be stepping up the game a little. "The girls" have gone through another phase of soreness and hardness. My hips and rear are adding some flesh and definitely hot flashes aren't my best summertime girl friends.
The most interesting change to me so far is how my body skin has started to dry out so to speak.
I've used more body lotion/moisturizer in the last month than in my whole life.
Other than that, my life is pretty well passing for normal. Pretty neat comparison, right?
So, the two next summer milestones are the doctors appointments. As of yet, I have not heard back on my VA appeal and some actual work on my own hair later this summer.
Little did I know as little as eight months ago how routine this all has become.
Much of the progress I attribute to several close friends who have unwaveringly accepted my transgender status.
Most read this blog and I can't ever begin to say how much it means!