Planning Ahead

In these times of staying home and staying safe, I have found planning ahead is the best way for me to overcome the extreme boredom.

I am fortunate in a couple ways, to be able to do it. First of all, Liz has worked from home for quite a while now and we have learned to coexist quite well without killing each other. Secondly, I have been living full time as a transgender woman for so long with an accepting partner. So I don't need the reinforcement of being validated in public as a feminine person. I have long since made the gender jump back to the person I always should have been.

I am also using the extra time I have staying in to write on my second book again. Looking back on my life and how I transitioned back to my true self has helped me to better understand how far I have come and be better prepared to hopefully ride out the current corona virus outbreak which the experts now say may not peak here in Ohio for another month. Of course too, as all of this health drama is unfolding, spring has established a firm hold finally here too. Which means it is time to update my wardrobe.

Luckily, now more than ever before, it is easier to update your wardrobe from home. In fact, if you do have a few more dollars to spend, you can enroll in a paid course through Total Image Consultants. If you are like me and don't, most on line clothing sites now have a liberal return policy until you learn what fits you well and flatters you. Along the way you have to learn how to dress as your ideal woman and get the most out of your assets. It's a difficult path with many more errors than trials but one which is worth it in the end.

Ideally, as you wait for society to return to it's new normal, you can take the time to improve yourself.

It's been tough for me as I am more of a reactive rather than a proactive person. In the mean time, I am doing my best to plan ahead.

It's Not Just You

As you stress out on a daily basis on what you are going to wear to best express your feminine self, I bet along the way you have thought it must be wonderful to be a cis woman and not have to worry so much.

If the truth be known, the only advantage cis women have over transgender women and/or cross dressers is practice and feedback. Of course they have years of practice dressing feminine and plenty of feedback if they happen to do it right or wrong. Usually, by the time we get to live as our authentic selves, we have quite a bit of catching up to do.

I can attest it is easy to get into a rut once you start to live full time for an extended amount of time.

Imagine my amazement when I saw my life in writing on the "Total Image Consultant" blog which to my knowledge has nothing to do with the transgender world at all:

"Dear Cyrsti, As a business woman with a full schedule, I get it - how easy it is to shift into autopilot, put on the same top and pants each week, day after day, and go about your tasks without ever checking in on yourself and your true desires. Have you ever had that feeling that who the world is seeing on the outside is not the woman you truly are on the inside? Years ago I struggled with this a lot. I didn’t feel comfortable in my own skin. I felt different from others, but also wanted to blend in and feel accepted, but nothing I did worked. I tried dressing like the women I saw, but somehow they always looked better. It took me a while, but I finally realized that trying to be a poor imitation of another person was not going to help me feel fulfilled and authentically me! That was a big awakening and I also knew I had to learn HOW to express my own brand of uniqueness. Ahhhh, what a difference that made! And, that’s why I was thrilled when my friend (and conscious fashion stylist) Amanda Weil told me she was hosting an interview series all around this topic and weaving in personal style as a way to embody your true self and feel seen, valuable, and ALIVE. Even more exciting, I’m one of the experts she’s invited on the series to help guide you to embody your true self!" Wow! I don't believe I have ever read something a "civilian" wrote describing me so well! I hope you got as much out of it as I did!

Legging it Out

As I mentioned a couple days ago here in Cyrsti's Condo, today is the day I am scheduled to go back for another mammogram.

Of course now, I have to figure out what to wear. The weather is fairly decent for January in Southwestern, Ohio. The sun is out and the temperature is supposed to climb into the 40's (F). As I see it, I am working with two choices, jeans and/or leggings with boots. Or, I could go for walking comfort and wear my tennis shoes with jeans.

As far as a top goes, I try to go with a loose fitting sweater for ease of removal when I get there. If you are not familiar, you need to strip to your waist for the actual mammogram.

While I am on the subject of leggings though, I decided to pass along a link to another fashion site I follow by Ginger Burr. Her featured topic today centered around leggings and how to wear them effectively.
Here is a small example of what you will see and the link is here.

Nurturing Beauty Style Secrets Blog

5 Steps to Creating a Great Outfit with Leggings

JANUARY 18, 2018

Leggings and tunics are still popular. Women of all ages are wearing them

 and as a result I am regularly asked about how to wear them. The questions include:

• what’s appropriate
• how to layer tops and not look messy
• how to find tops that feel beautifull

Personally, I find leggings to be a great part of my wardrobe. I love the feel of them

 on my legs and how they flatter my legs. But I struggle to find tops/sweaters to wear 

with leggings. 

Of course "The Total Image Consultant" blog offers so much more.

You may want to check it out for ideas on your transgender fashion woes.

Or winning the fashion battle in a cis gender world!

Welcome to my World!

Back in my "princess" days , expressing my gender "separation" was simply how good I was looking in the mirror. My cross dressing was new exciting and extremely frustrating.

As I gender evolved and I began to truly understand who I was,  the path I needed to take became clearer. Looking back over the lessons learned and not learned, I sometimes feel I only have enough knowledge to make myself dangerous. For that reason, I'm always on the outlook for more. An example would have been the small all female friend birthday party I was invited to. Why do women do this so much different than men?

One of the biggest problems I have is knowing which of my feminine gender expectations are real or misconceptions. When one of my genetic female friends says "Welcome to my world",  I take for granted the lesson is real. Then I make it my passion to have a better understanding of what "their" world is. Normally the "obvious" isn't the true picture. I know I'm not covering earth shattering ground here. Any of you trans guys reading this are thinking DUH Cyrsti what is ever obvious about a woman? From both sides of the gender fence guys, I can tell you there are reasons all of us feel that way...all three genders.

Here's where I am going with this.  I'm fond of reading and passing along snippets of information from Ginger's Total Image Consultants site. I found the "Lose Your Self-Consciousness" post to be especially relevant. As transgender women or trans men we certainly have every reason in the world to be extra self conscious about our selves.  If women as a gender are more likely to be self conscious, aren't we more likely to be less obvious? As trans women this is a double edged sword because our self image is so important to how we present to the world.

To help, here's a bit of advice from Ginger's blog which is linked above:

"The funny thing about being yourself is that you have to lose your self-consciousness — the habit of judging yourself — in order to do it. You need to become so immersed in the moment and within yourself, that you begin to channel your pure creative spirit. It’s in this empowered state that we’re able to not only do our best work, but also experience the blissful joy of creative expression. As we link up with the Divinity in the present moment, we naturally connect with each other — the greater Oneness of all. That’s when the fun begins. Learning to be fully ourselves without concern for the reactions, judgments, or expectations of others is a life-long journey. Regardless of how confident and self-possessed you are there will always be times in life when you feel vulnerable and afraid to be yourself. That’s called living as a human being on planet earth. The important thing to remember is that self-consciousness is about you – not other people."

At some point of time, I can't wait to say "No! Welcome to my world"!

Transgender "Stylin and Profilin"!

If you are an in the closet cross dresser, transgender or transsexual woman your personal image matters. It just does. Let me take it a step further and point out the transsexual women that I know or have seen whose personal image is never going to propel them to any pageant finals but who look exceeding at home in their chosen gender.
I'm guessing the great majority of my trans sisters however do care very deeply about their personal image.
Of course genetic women do too and one of the sites I subscribe (free)  to is Total Image Consultants. It's a great place for image tips and ideas from the genetic female world...Such as this:

" Does how we look matter above all else? Do clothing, makeup and hair choices have that much influence? Or, should our personality and inner essence be the primary focus with no attachment to how we look on the outside?
Unless you've been living in a cave, you know that our society is obsessed with image. Not only that but the image they revere is young, thin and white. It's no wonder so many women feel excluded! The key is to match your outer appearance with appreciation and expression of who you are on the inside.
How do you do that?"

This post is written by Ginger and it's uncanny how much of it reads as true or truer for a transgender woman attempting to find her way in the world. As I have always said females don't have to be women. We do to survive. Here are a couple points:
Be True to Yourself: Do you feel good about how you look? The biggest question is “do you know how you want to look and how to make that happen?”
Know the Rules! (OMG how many times do we go over that?) If you understand the rules about dress then you are well equipped to make choices that serve you. Knowing the expectations, you can then make a conscious decision to disregard them (if you choose to) and are better prepared to deal with (or circumvent) the consequences.
Show Respect: Take pride in how you look. Good grooming habits are essential and have nothing to do with where you shop or how big or fancy your wardrobe is or isn't. Others notice when you take good care of your body and your clothes…and when you don’t!
Dress With Intention: Many women have fallen into a state of unconsciousness about how they look. Is it any surprise when you consider the factors working against us (e.g., body image issues, social pressure, compromised self-esteem, disinterest in fashion...)?
Finally:
How you dress gives people visual cues about who you are. True or not, they will make assumptions about you based on what they see. While it is not possible to meet everyone’s expectations, you can meet your own. Dress with authenticity, respect and intention, and you will feel good about how you look everyday. "

As I normally do, I have edited part of this post. For the entire read, please go here it's worth it!