Jender Jumping into No Return.

Early in my life I was afraid to jump into the female gender too completely. What if I never got back?
Of course more went into it such as family etc. Bottom line is that after a big night out of the closet, three times out of four I didn't want to go back.
I was grumpy with all around me and generally just difficult to live with because I was having a difficult time living with myself.
As I rationalized and rethought my gender situation a reoccurring thought came up. If I went too far, could I even find the closet again. Did I want to make that huge "jender jump"? Obviously I felt like a daredevil stunt person getting ready to jump over the Grand Canyon. Scared to death.
The problem becomes a monster is usually chasing us to the brink and it's tough to find the best place to jump.
Absolutely no easy answer here no matter what label you identify with: Cross dresser, transsexual, or transgender.  Some of us take a series of small jumps and others take the huge leap to SRS quickly.
I took the smaller jumps. Not right, not wrong-just my direction over the jump.
Whatever decision you decide to make, only was thing is certain. Most unknowns are never as good or as bad as imagined.
The stronger you are, the better you jump!