Two Great Ideas!

From Creative Loafing, Charlotte, a chance to really get out of the closet:
"Ready to pay forward those jeans you never wear? Donate them to the LGBT Community Center of Charlotte, which is in the middle of a week-long clothing drive for transgender people. The drive, called Trans Closet, collects clothes for transgender individuals who can't afford to buy a new wardrobe that reflects their true identity. Shoppers will also be able to try on and receive donated clothes on Saturday. Shopping starts at 1 p.m. The experience will hopefully allow them to enjoy shopping in an accepting environment. Organizer Constance Brooks says the most in-demand donation items are work clothes, including suits for men, and women's business separates, like blouses, skirts and jackets."

And:


The sign outside the restroom in Dr. Jeffrey M. Engel's New York office. No silly, this sign was not spotted in certain Arizona legislator offices!


 

Ivory Tower and the Transgender Princess

It's very easy not to stay grounded these days and climb up my transgender ivory tower.
Very simply put "Hey, I got out of the closet-why can't you?"
I was recently corresponding with a new friend who is deeply in the closet and I realized that every once in a while I slide towards some high and mighty self serving stance on my trans status.
I want to think "Hey, I've gotten to this point of my transgender life (which I consider a success), why can't they?"
The only real props I can give myself is I told both of my wives of my gender disposition before the relationship. They had some sort of an idea of the struggle as murky as it was to all of us. Of all the totally mistaken ideas I have had about all of this, at least not telling a person I was getting into a serious relationship with wasn't one of them. That alone does not qualify me for sainthood.
In the end, the deciding factor in jumping into the transgender river and swimming up stream was death to a loved one, age and chance.
Due to not so pleasant circumstances, the sun, moon and stars aligned. Again, no ivory tower.
 I just grabbed the ring and I have to remember it's that- no more no less.
There are too many others in the trans community who build or buy their own lovely towers for me to want to move into mine.
If you catch me in my tower-you are doing the best you can.
I didn't mean to be an unfeeling bitch!

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Selfish versus Self Preservation

Name me one person in the transgender, transsexual or crossdressing community who hasn't faced the terrible prospect of telling others. As they say in the "old country" that "ain't happenin".
Recently I had a chat with person who was just starting to come out of the closet in her mid 30's. She said she seemed to be following the same path I have been on.
After I apologized, kids came into the discussion. As in many instances she attributed two broken relationships to her transgender leanings and now was worried about her teenaged daughter.
Very shortly the "S" conversation came up. When is it not selfish to be put yourself in self preservation mode for the sake of yourself and your off spring.
Of course it's a highly personal question and one only each of us can answer.
As many of us have discovered, we can only be cornered so many ways by an affliction which is not going away. Something has to be done. It's not being selfish-it's reality.
As a pure observer I believe kids today are much better equipped to deal with a transgender or transsexual parent. The older people around them are the problem.
So if there is a path to success in this situation, it's having the proper amount of material or discussion to present yourself in a true manner.
One of the tougher problems is to present your transgender status as a real part of you while not being a victim. What I mean is don't act like this has been a huge struggle your whole life. (Even though it has.) BUT it has been and will be a part of you hidden from the world.
You need to try to open a dialogue in  which the child needs to know both of you will be better off under the new gender situation. A huge motivator at this point in time is trust. You are trusting your offspring with the issue.
Finally, while it's good to never push too hard, it's never good not to try some gentle followups.
The child needs to know this is not something that is just going away.
Good luck!