As human beings, we have a finite time on the planet and perhaps infinity; depending upon which religion you happen to believe in.
I found out first hand when I had a loved one disappear over night-passing to the other side.
All of these are wonderful reasons to believe in living each day as it could be your last. It could be.
As a mere human being, I know I should try harder to appreciate the sun coming up. To try to appreciate the fact my breasts are becoming more than "buds" and the task of tying my hair back into a pony tail.
Don't get me wrong, I do live in wonderment all of this is finally happening to me.
The problem is slowing down and enjoying the journey. To just stop time for a second when I'm out in society as my chosen gender.
I've written already how I'm tracking a few of my formative years as posted here on the "Condo" and collating them on "Trannsnation.com".
One of many conclusions I'm drawing is how I felt so incredibly "liberated" on some evenings and so "humiliated" or insecure on others.
Of course I've tried to connect the dots with an erotic experience with the clothes, hair and the whole look but that doesn't work either. This was a deeper feeling of belonging. At that point, I knew my life was going to be very different.
Maybe those experiences have taught me to try to feel life as it comes-not just live it. Just being accepted visually as a woman in public is fine but feeling it is better. I want to stop time when I'm slowly walking down a sidewalk in my jeans, flip flops and loose top. The feel of my hair on bare shoulders and back along with the soft warmth of the day was just amazing!
In some ways I feel that is a more feminine reaction anyway.
Being the amateur evolutionist that I am, I believe (very simply) men evolved to attack and hunt and women to gather, raise the young and have a more intuitive sensual knowledge of the world.
Now I sit back and do a lot of observing. Men sometime amuse me and sometimes impress me. I was born into and played the "Alpha" male game outwardly for most of my life. I know where a man is and where he is trying to go and if he gets it right-good for him!
As for women? They have always been my passion. Their interaction with the world has always been a fascination since I wanted a doll baby for Christmas.
The toughest part is not to try to create experiences. Life is more than capable of accomplishing that!
So, on a day like today I can only write about and speculate on how the best way is to make the most of my life on this planet.
In the meantime, the day has turned out to be a very pleasant pre-spring day and is time for a nap!
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Was It The Hormones?
Yes, I did get a bit emotional when I watched a trailer for the motion picture "Bully" which will be released in select theaters on March 30.
Obviously the title of the movie describes it-the increasing violent bullying going on in many schools. The activity once again drove a student in Ohio to violence in a high school recently when he brought a gun to school and killed a fellow student.
We all know transgendered youth are particularly prone to bullying.
The problem with the film is that it has been slapped with an "R" rating which effectively hinders a young person's ability to see it.
Read about it in this "Change.org" release, to see the trailer and to sign Katy's petition:
"A 17 year old in Michigan is trying to change the rating.
Obviously the title of the movie describes it-the increasing violent bullying going on in many schools. The activity once again drove a student in Ohio to violence in a high school recently when he brought a gun to school and killed a fellow student.
We all know transgendered youth are particularly prone to bullying.
The problem with the film is that it has been slapped with an "R" rating which effectively hinders a young person's ability to see it.
Read about it in this "Change.org" release, to see the trailer and to sign Katy's petition:
"A 17 year old in Michigan is trying to change the rating.
Katy Butler knows how it feels to be bullied. When
she was 12, four boys came up behind her. They called her names and
shoved her into a wall -- then they slammed a locker on her hand and
broke her finger. “I held back tears while I watched them run away
laughing,” she says. “I didn’t know what to do so I stood there, alone
and afraid.”
So Katy, now in high school, was thrilled when she heard about a new documentary, Bully,
that sheds light on America’s bullying epidemic. The film’s
distributor, The Weinstein Company, even had plans to screen the film in
middle and high schools across America.
But it was just announced that the Motion Picture Association of America has decided to give Bully an “R” rating, meaning no one under the age of 17 can see the movie -- and it can’t be screened in middle and high schools.
Katy thinks
it’s ridiculous that the MPAA would prevent teens from seeing a movie
that was made specifically to help them fight back against bullying.
Potential Transgendered Advances In Ohio
Springfield, Ohio City Commissioners are considering a new ordinance banning discrimination based on "sexual orientation".
This ordinance does not have the huge loop hole which leaves transgendered women and men out.
Specifically, this is how the definition in the ordinance reads:
"Sexual Orientation" actual or perceived heterosexuality, bisexuality, homosexuality or gender identity , by orientation or by practice by and between consenting adults."
So of course when any reference to sexual discrimination appears, transgendered people are covered.
My disclaimer here is, I'm far from a legal expert. With all the political primary propaganda heating up I know that anything can be twisted. I believe my interpretation is correct.
This ordinance will be voted on tonight. We will see how well our cause is advancing in the "Heartland" of America!
This ordinance does not have the huge loop hole which leaves transgendered women and men out.
Specifically, this is how the definition in the ordinance reads:
"Sexual Orientation" actual or perceived heterosexuality, bisexuality, homosexuality or gender identity , by orientation or by practice by and between consenting adults."
So of course when any reference to sexual discrimination appears, transgendered people are covered.
My disclaimer here is, I'm far from a legal expert. With all the political primary propaganda heating up I know that anything can be twisted. I believe my interpretation is correct.
This ordinance will be voted on tonight. We will see how well our cause is advancing in the "Heartland" of America!
Monday, February 27, 2012
The Winds of Political Transgender Change
It was not so long ago the average transgender or transsexual person could just hope change would come politically to our culture.
Now in many areas of the country, transgendered candidates are beginning to seek elected positions.
In some areas, the change is astounding.
Read this story from the "Orlando Sentinel" to see what a difference a decade makes!
Here's an excerpt.
When Randy Ross was running for Orange County School Board in 2000, he had a secret.
"I was worried people were going to find out I was gay," Ross said.
"What a difference a dozen years can make. Now there are three openly gay candidates on this year's Orlando City Council ballot — including Ross — and a transgender candidate running for the Orange County Commission.
As society has grown more accepting of gay people during the past decade, more candidates for public office have grown willing to campaign without concealing their sexual orientation. And with issues of equality — gay marriage, adoption and workplace benefits — heating up, more members of the gay community are drawn to politics."
You as well as I probably noticed there was no mention of a transgendered candidate in the opening paragraphs of this story- or society becoming more accepting of transgendered culture.When you follow the link though you will find several paragraphs towards the end of the article about Trans Woman Candidate "Gina Duncan".
It is crucial in these situations to not be lumped in to a giant gay category. In many ways the gay culture is as clueless to who we are as the straight culture.
Now, if we can educate the culture on who we truly are-change just could happen quicker!
Now in many areas of the country, transgendered candidates are beginning to seek elected positions.
 |
| Trans Woman Candidate Gina Duncan |
Read this story from the "Orlando Sentinel" to see what a difference a decade makes!
Here's an excerpt.
When Randy Ross was running for Orange County School Board in 2000, he had a secret.
"I was worried people were going to find out I was gay," Ross said.
"What a difference a dozen years can make. Now there are three openly gay candidates on this year's Orlando City Council ballot — including Ross — and a transgender candidate running for the Orange County Commission.
As society has grown more accepting of gay people during the past decade, more candidates for public office have grown willing to campaign without concealing their sexual orientation. And with issues of equality — gay marriage, adoption and workplace benefits — heating up, more members of the gay community are drawn to politics."
You as well as I probably noticed there was no mention of a transgendered candidate in the opening paragraphs of this story- or society becoming more accepting of transgendered culture.When you follow the link though you will find several paragraphs towards the end of the article about Trans Woman Candidate "Gina Duncan".
It is crucial in these situations to not be lumped in to a giant gay category. In many ways the gay culture is as clueless to who we are as the straight culture.
Now, if we can educate the culture on who we truly are-change just could happen quicker!
Sunday, February 26, 2012
"Big Talila Documentary"
This is a biographical documentary about a very unusual person named Talila. She was born as a boy in Israel 51 years ago. For the last 8 years she has been living in Pai, a little tourist town in northern Thailand.
Talila talks about her life, past and present, as the audience views images of the beautiful Pai valley and its amazing people. Talila is a celebrity in Pai. Everybody knows her. The film shows her interactions with travelers from all over the world and with the local Thai people.
Her physical presence alone asks people to let go of their limited ideas of what it means to be a man or a woman. In addition, Talila is not shy and boldly challenges people with her feedback. After knowing someone for five minutes, she tells them exactly what their problem is and offers her solution. She is very honest. When asked what she did in Israel, she does not hesitate to say she was a prostitute. It is a tribute to her that she has many friends, and has helped so many people.
Follow this link for more!
You Tube Help for Transgendered Teens
I have felt many times how the "more mature" (old) of us just didn't have the educational resources available to us as we were growing up to face our transgender problems. We secretly crossdressed which turned out to be just a temporary fix to our problems. Including the clothes, nothing seemed to quite fit. Something was still missing and most of us felt so alone in our trans world.
The information of the day was mostly associated with female impersonators and drag queens.The exception was the "Christine Jorgensen" story (1950's). Then there was the curious poster I happen to see about a fast pitch softball team in the 50's whose players dressed in drag.
When I was 15 a friend who could drive and I went to his Aunt's neighborhood variety store and we would avidly read the weekly "National Enquirer" type papers. He would look for the women in most of them and of course I would look for the men who looked like women and drag queen stories.
That was basically it until "Virgina Prince" came along much later in my life. (1960's) My gender problems at that point seemed to have a bit more focus.
Of course current informational technology has made it much easier for a younger generation of transgendered and transsexual youth to connect with others of like background and form idea's on how to deal with their issues.
"Salon" recently ran an article :"Trans Teens Turn to YouTube" which provides real insight and many video links which I will pass along a couple on "Trannsnation".
Here's a short excerpt:
"Jazmine Khan, a transgender 15-year-old with wisps of blue hair and nails to match, is crying in her doctor’s office. “I just wish I was me already,” she says to the camera held out in front of her, and wipes away tears with her free hand. “I just wish that I could be a real girl.”
Moments ago, her doctor told her that she won’t be allowed to start taking estrogen to aid her full transition — not for a long while. That means it’s time for yet another shot of Lupron, a drug that suppresses testosterone production. The Canadian teen has videotaped each of her six shots thus far — along with updates on the changes brought about by the drug — and posted them on YouTube for the world to see."
On the same subject, "Janie" posted an article called "Psychology Today" which mentioned younger transgendered individuals: Check her link here in the Condo (CD Janie)
"[M]any young people are no longer finding that categorization by sexual identity is meaningful or useful. They dispense with labels that limit behavioral freedom and instead are digging deeper to discover and embrace their true desires wherever that leads them. Their sexual partner’s gender matters less than the fulfillment of their physical and psychological desires…"
The bottom line is our culture is finally changing. For all of us under the transgendered umbrella seemingly it is changing from the bottom up which is great! Youth are having the courage to stand up for themselves and are finding the resources to back it up! For many "Stealth" is an unknown word!!!! They want change in society.
Yes, the future could well be bright for the transgender community after all!
 |
| Christine Jorgense |
When I was 15 a friend who could drive and I went to his Aunt's neighborhood variety store and we would avidly read the weekly "National Enquirer" type papers. He would look for the women in most of them and of course I would look for the men who looked like women and drag queen stories.
That was basically it until "Virgina Prince" came along much later in my life. (1960's) My gender problems at that point seemed to have a bit more focus.
Of course current informational technology has made it much easier for a younger generation of transgendered and transsexual youth to connect with others of like background and form idea's on how to deal with their issues.
 |
| "Virginia Prince 1948" |
Here's a short excerpt:
"Jazmine Khan, a transgender 15-year-old with wisps of blue hair and nails to match, is crying in her doctor’s office. “I just wish I was me already,” she says to the camera held out in front of her, and wipes away tears with her free hand. “I just wish that I could be a real girl.”
Moments ago, her doctor told her that she won’t be allowed to start taking estrogen to aid her full transition — not for a long while. That means it’s time for yet another shot of Lupron, a drug that suppresses testosterone production. The Canadian teen has videotaped each of her six shots thus far — along with updates on the changes brought about by the drug — and posted them on YouTube for the world to see."
 |
| Jazmine Khan |
On the same subject, "Janie" posted an article called "Psychology Today" which mentioned younger transgendered individuals: Check her link here in the Condo (CD Janie)
"[M]any young people are no longer finding that categorization by sexual identity is meaningful or useful. They dispense with labels that limit behavioral freedom and instead are digging deeper to discover and embrace their true desires wherever that leads them. Their sexual partner’s gender matters less than the fulfillment of their physical and psychological desires…"
The bottom line is our culture is finally changing. For all of us under the transgendered umbrella seemingly it is changing from the bottom up which is great! Youth are having the courage to stand up for themselves and are finding the resources to back it up! For many "Stealth" is an unknown word!!!! They want change in society.
Yes, the future could well be bright for the transgender community after all!
"Nascar" and Drag Racing?
 |
| Taylor McCray poses with a cardboard stand-up of Kevin Harvick. |
"The penthouse where NASCAR was founded in 1947 is now a gay bar.
Back then, Bill France Sr. walked into the four-story, art deco Streamline Hotel and, in a series of meetings, laid out the rules and regulations of what would become the nation’s most popular racing organization.
Friday, two days before the 54th running of France’s baby, the Daytona 500, the lobby of that same hotel, now dusty and worn, was filled with a combination of cheap NASCAR memorabilia and a line of drag queens set to sing and shake to a raucous crowd of almost exclusively male patrons gathered inside the hotel’s racing-themed bar."
Just when you thought you knew it all about Nascar, you could be wrong. This is not your father's Nascar where a bunch of beer guzzling rednecks got together to watch cars drive fast and turn left according to hotel manager "Michael Blake":
"NASCAR is a far more progressive company than its stereotype. It’s taken strong stances against the flying of the Confederate flag, engaged in outreach programs to inner cities and been home to tremendous professional opportunity for women – not just as drivers but team owners, executives, marketers and publicists.
And while its fan base is often categorized as solely Southern, rural and working class, the infield rows of tricked-out motor homes with Northern license plates and price tags pushing $400,000 tell a different story.
Perhaps it’s why Blake says NASCAR fans generally range from indifferent to supportive of the Streamline. Whether it’s in the expansive infield or here near the beach, this is a group that’s often looking to raise a little hell before watching a little racing. The love of a fast car cuts through barriers.
“This is 2012, not 1912,” Blake said. “Just as I wouldn’t say they are all rednecks, they shouldn’t say anything about the lifestyle of some of the people in our building. I think most people are more grown up about lifestyles now.”
And of course there is this: “There are a number of people who live an alternative lifestyle that are NASCAR fans,” Blake said."
At least in Daytona, Nascar is linked to drag!
Saturday, February 25, 2012
Japanese Transsexual Ayana Tsubaki!
Tsubaki entered Aoyama Gakuin University as a male, but left in the second year to work in Kabukichō, Tokyo. In July 2006, she underwent sex reassignment surgery in Phuket, Thailand, and in December 2006, officially changed her registered gender from male to female in the koseki family registry. She resumed studies at Aoyama Gakuin University from April 2007. She also works as a fashion model for the Koakuma Ageha girls' fashion magazine
A Familiar Story?
This story comes from the "Reading Eagle".
"It was a bedroom that resembled one like most other teenage boys had
in the 1960s.
Sports memorabilia plastered on the walls, photos of Pittsburgh
Pirates greats Roberto Clemente and Bill Mazeroski. Model cars and
airplanes - particularly from the World War I era.
And hanging above the bed on the ceiling, a classic poster of a young
Raquel Welch.
But the teenager who called the Valley Forge-area bedroom his own was
holding a secret.
"I prayed every single night, 'God, when I wake up, can you please
make me female?' " recalled the Rev. Barbara K. Peronteau, a
transgender Berks County resident who began the transition from male
to female nearly two years ago. "At the height of our male
testosterone flowing, and my prayer was to wake up and look like
Raquel Welch."
The story brought back memories of a vacation long ago. I probably was about 14 and we were on a family trek and we kept passing and being passed by another car with a equally young beautiful dark haired girl in the back seat.
My feelings today are as vivid as the day it happened. I literally ached inside to be that girl.
The look on the Rev. Peronteau's face says it all-some of her pain is gone!
"It was a bedroom that resembled one like most other teenage boys had
in the 1960s.
Sports memorabilia plastered on the walls, photos of Pittsburgh
Pirates greats Roberto Clemente and Bill Mazeroski. Model cars and
airplanes - particularly from the World War I era.
And hanging above the bed on the ceiling, a classic poster of a young
Raquel Welch.
But the teenager who called the Valley Forge-area bedroom his own was
holding a secret.
"I prayed every single night, 'God, when I wake up, can you please
make me female?' " recalled the Rev. Barbara K. Peronteau, a
transgender Berks County resident who began the transition from male
to female nearly two years ago. "At the height of our male
testosterone flowing, and my prayer was to wake up and look like
Raquel Welch."
 |
| Rev. Barbara K. Peronteau |
My feelings today are as vivid as the day it happened. I literally ached inside to be that girl.
The look on the Rev. Peronteau's face says it all-some of her pain is gone!
Transgender Lessons
I have written recently about trying to compile like minded experiences on my one week old "Trannsnation.com" web site.
As I said in a previous post, I have waded in and made it to Sept 2010-close to four months of content.
As I burned the mid night oil, one big constant was apparent.
The time I wrote about seemed to be an intense period of finding my way in the public eye. Every time I went out was an adventure of learning. I'm interested to discover if future posts are as intense.
If you are beginning to explore your transgender self or are new to the "Condo", you may want to check out this link and this one. At the least you will think "she did what?".
The biggest change I have discovered is how I have changed in regards to my place in the world. I'm much more secure in who I am and I just don't notice if others notice me. I used to care much more where I fit. Now I know I just do.
I'm sure the next six months of posts will be interesting!
As I said in a previous post, I have waded in and made it to Sept 2010-close to four months of content.
As I burned the mid night oil, one big constant was apparent.
The time I wrote about seemed to be an intense period of finding my way in the public eye. Every time I went out was an adventure of learning. I'm interested to discover if future posts are as intense.
If you are beginning to explore your transgender self or are new to the "Condo", you may want to check out this link and this one. At the least you will think "she did what?".
The biggest change I have discovered is how I have changed in regards to my place in the world. I'm much more secure in who I am and I just don't notice if others notice me. I used to care much more where I fit. Now I know I just do.
I'm sure the next six months of posts will be interesting!
The UK's First Transgendered Community Magazine Is Out!
In the recent past, Lees has made her name as an activist for transgender rights – a member of Trans Media Watch and a freelance journalist for DIVA magazine.
For more on "Meta" :
• META is a unique magazine designed for a wide community of gender variant people. It is written by trans people and their friends for trans people and their friends
• Through in-depth features, community discourse, arts coverage, celebrity interviews, comprehensive event listings, and charitable causes, META is a celebration of diversity
• META is connected to the UK’s exciting trans activism movement and is committed to challenging bigotry
• It is dedicated to promoting positive self esteem and connectivity among trans people, generating creativity, motivation and aspiration through inspiring imagery and positive ethos
In the historic first issue, Vivian Bond, of Kiki and Herb fame, chats about changing personas.
Friday, February 24, 2012
Burning the Midnight Oil
Finally beginning to make a small dent in my new quest to categorize different themes from Cyrsti's Condo and establish them in my new website "Trannsnation.com".
I have been able to publish three solid beginning posts and have three more started which I haven't published as of yet.
To let you know how far I've progressed, I haven't even made it to October of 2010. (The blog went on line the end of May that year)
As I've always tried to say "It's better to look ahead than behind" (Unless you are checking how your jeans fit!)
I have been able to publish three solid beginning posts and have three more started which I haven't published as of yet.
To let you know how far I've progressed, I haven't even made it to October of 2010. (The blog went on line the end of May that year)
As I've always tried to say "It's better to look ahead than behind" (Unless you are checking how your jeans fit!)
Got Transgendered MilK?
Perhaps you have heard of transsexual women or even a few men breast feeding babies.
Truthfully, I never gave the whole topic more than a passing interest until my recent preoccupation with "the girls".
I do think the whole process would be an incredible experience for any trans woman. A true pinnacle of the feminine experience. (other than birthing).
For more on the process follow this link!
Since I was feeling all so romantic about this process, I added a Transgendered Bride Video to the "Home Entertainment Center".
Truthfully, I never gave the whole topic more than a passing interest until my recent preoccupation with "the girls".
I do think the whole process would be an incredible experience for any trans woman. A true pinnacle of the feminine experience. (other than birthing).
For more on the process follow this link!
Since I was feeling all so romantic about this process, I added a Transgendered Bride Video to the "Home Entertainment Center".
Latina Transwoman "Endry Cardeno" Makes the Cover!
First of all I must give credit to a link I have on the blog to a site called "A Gender Variance Who's Who" by "Zagria" I'm a history fanatic and Zagria's documentation of historical transgendered and transsexual women and men is nothing short of amazing! Check it out if you haven't.
Equally amazing is the Latina beauty "Endry Cardeno" who she featured in her latest post.
I normally don't like to repeat content from blogs I follow unless I really am impressed by content or appearance.
Guess which I'm impressed with here?
Actually I'm impressed with more, read on:
Endry Cardeño, who underwent a sex change when she was 17 years old, shot to fame as a popular star of the soap opera "Los Reyes" ("The Kings") and has since acted in several films.
The transsexual actress is from Cucuta, Colombia and is an icon for LBGT (lesbian, bisexual, gay, transgender) rights.
She initially faced criticism from conservative sectors of society upon first assuming her role in the soap opera but now enjoys a large following!
Equally amazing is the Latina beauty "Endry Cardeno" who she featured in her latest post.
Guess which I'm impressed with here?
Actually I'm impressed with more, read on:
Endry Cardeño, who underwent a sex change when she was 17 years old, shot to fame as a popular star of the soap opera "Los Reyes" ("The Kings") and has since acted in several films.
The transsexual actress is from Cucuta, Colombia and is an icon for LBGT (lesbian, bisexual, gay, transgender) rights.
She initially faced criticism from conservative sectors of society upon first assuming her role in the soap opera but now enjoys a large following!
A Day In A Transgender Life
One day-24 hrs ago, I sat here and wrote how my life had reached a certain plateau.
I wasn't discouraged by any means by my physical development but then again I have never been a patient person. A waiting game was never my strength.
When I woke up this morning though, I noticed (for the first time) a definite soreness in "the girls". Obviously something was happening.
I'm light years from developing hips but as I happened to check my faint waist line, I can imagine what my body could become.
All of this was great, but I'm actually saving the best for last.
It has been a very windy February day and my hair was all over the place. In a act of frustration in my back yard I pulled it back to see if I could finally form a pony tail. The answer was YES I could. The process was relatively easily although I have never done it. By no means is my hair flowing down my back but I can now wear a two inch "tail"! I will say I need a lot of practice of even tying off my pony tail but it is a labor of love!
Here's the best part. The rubber band I used today was actually off the first estrogen prescription bottle I received. No bottle before or after has ever had a rubber band. I saved this rubber band as a sign of good karma and the future.
Today, I put it to good use!
I wasn't discouraged by any means by my physical development but then again I have never been a patient person. A waiting game was never my strength.
When I woke up this morning though, I noticed (for the first time) a definite soreness in "the girls". Obviously something was happening.
I'm light years from developing hips but as I happened to check my faint waist line, I can imagine what my body could become.
All of this was great, but I'm actually saving the best for last.
It has been a very windy February day and my hair was all over the place. In a act of frustration in my back yard I pulled it back to see if I could finally form a pony tail. The answer was YES I could. The process was relatively easily although I have never done it. By no means is my hair flowing down my back but I can now wear a two inch "tail"! I will say I need a lot of practice of even tying off my pony tail but it is a labor of love!
Here's the best part. The rubber band I used today was actually off the first estrogen prescription bottle I received. No bottle before or after has ever had a rubber band. I saved this rubber band as a sign of good karma and the future.
Today, I put it to good use!
Thursday, February 23, 2012
A Big Transgendered Leap In India
She is yet another trans woman who has forsaken the "stealth" tag to make lives better for other transgendered women and men in India.
Now:
"Last week Channel V's chat show, My Big Decision, left viewers with food for thought about an issue that wouldn't have been aired at another time, that of sex reassignment surgery. The show featured young transsexuals and transgenders from middle class families who were quite vocal about their issues and open about their identities. In fact, the faces of transsexuals and transgenders appear regularly on reality TV: While Bobby Darling and Lakshmi stunned the audiences in the last two seasons of Bigg Boss, Sylvie has made her mark in recent Survivor India.
While some call it nothing but a TRP stunt, experts say this reflects a subtle change that's bringing the gender debate from closed-door film festivals to living rooms of ordinary Indians. "It's a welcome change," says Anjali Gopalan, executive director and founder, Naz Foundation (India) Trust. "Unlike earlier when transgenders were mostly portrayed as caricatures to be ridiculed at, the media is now presenting them as 'normal' human beings with intelligence, mannerisms and thinking ability," says Gopalan who has worked with sexual minorities for many years.
"For years we have been mocked at as uneducated fools doing either commercial sex work or dancing at weddings. Thankfully reality shows are breaking such stereotypes now," points out 25-year-old transsexual, Namrata. "This image is changing since members of our community have begun modelling, doing social work and writing books and blogs ," she adds."
Just When You Thought There Was No News
Just when I thought things were getting boring in the transgendered press along comes the UK and the "Daily Mail Online"
According to their story:
"These are the two faces of a transgender fraudster who made thousands of pounds in scams by posing as both male and female friends to take out loans and credit cards.
Con artist Frances Harris, 71, of Brighton, Sussex, was born as Frederick but now lives as a woman.
She admitted three counts of deception over a three-year period, but was only handed a suspended 15-month sentence after her lawyer said she would not be safe in a male prison because she has had breast augmentation."
OK, I can't resist.
Way to go UK! Long live the queen!
Come on now-where's your sense of humor!
According to their story:
"These are the two faces of a transgender fraudster who made thousands of pounds in scams by posing as both male and female friends to take out loans and credit cards.
Con artist Frances Harris, 71, of Brighton, Sussex, was born as Frederick but now lives as a woman.
She admitted three counts of deception over a three-year period, but was only handed a suspended 15-month sentence after her lawyer said she would not be safe in a male prison because she has had breast augmentation."
Way to go UK! Long live the queen!
Come on now-where's your sense of humor!
A Day in a Transgendered Life.
It's days like today when I sit here and say hmmmm wasssup girl?Well I said to self, not much actually. Ordered another month's supply of hormones today which means unbelievably I will have completed three months when this supply runs out.
I did get my order together for girl scout cookies which I consider a real neccessity this year because of all the idiotic right wing attacks on the scouts for their transgender and birth control stances. I am going to pass along the "Femulate" link to "Stana's" post about the scouts and a petition you can sign.
Also, I have a friend who is researching bits and pieces of the "Two or Dual Spirit" beliefs of a few of the Native American Indian Tribes.
Here are a couple very interesting excerpts from what Don has sent me:
'The first step on the path to a two-spirit life was taken during
childhood. The Papago ritual is representative of this early
integration: If parents noticed that a son was disinterested in
boyish play or manly work they would set up a ceremony to determine
which way the boy would be brought up. They would make an enclosure
of brush, and place in the center both a man’s bow and a woman’s
basket. The boy was told to go inside the circle of brush and to
bring something out, and as he entered the brush would be set on
fire. “They watched what he took with him as he ran out, and if it
was the basketry materials they reconciled [sic] themselves to his
being a berdache or female in male's body.
The Mohave ritual, usually carried out when the child is between
the ages of nine and twelve, has a different form, but keeps the
central element of allowing the child’s nature to manifest itself:
A singing circle is prepared, unbeknownst to the boy, involving the
whole community as well as distant friends and relatives. On the
day of the ceremony everyone gathers round and the boy is led into
the middle of the circle. If he remains there, the singer, hidden
in the crowd, begins to sing the ritual songs and the boy, if he is
destined to follow the two-spirit road, starts to dance in the
fashion of a woman. “He cannot help it,” say the Mohave. After the
fourth song the boy is declared to be a two-spirit person and is
raised from then on in the appropriate manner."
I will be passing along more from his research later!
So I guess the bottom line is today was an example of the more things change, the more they stay the same.
As my body slowly starts to feminize itself, society begins to view me different of course. All in all though, I still view society as the same and probably always have.
My I guess I would have picked up the baskets from the burning circle!
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
Revisiting Danielle Berry
Following my post called "Another Transgendered Pioneer" I received two very compelling comments from Anne here on the blog.
More fro the late Ms. Berry.....
"That's advice I wish someone had given me. I had the sex change, I "pass" fine, my career is good but you can't imagine the number of times I've wished I could go back and see if there was another way. Despite following the rules and being as honest as I could with the medical folks at each stage, nobody stopped me and said "Are you honest to God absolutely sure this is the ONLY path for you?!" To the contrary, the voices were all cheerfully supportive of my decision. I was fortunate that the web didn't exist then - there are too damn many cheerleaders ready to reassure themselves of their own decision by parading their "successful" surgeries and encouraging others."
"I can speak the transgender party line that I was a female trapped in a male body and I remember feeling this way since I was 4. But, it's never that easy if you look at it sincerely and without preconception. There's little question that a mid-life crisis, a divorce and a cancer scare were involved in at least the timing of my sex-change decision. To be completely honest at this point (3 yrs post-op) is not easy, however, I'm not sure I would do it again. I'm now concerned that much of what I took as a gender dysfunction might have been nothing more than a neurotic sexual obsession. I was a cross-dresser for all of my sexual life and had always fantasized going fem as an ultimate turn-on. Ironically, when I began hormone treatment my libido went away. However, I mistook that relief from sexual obsession for validation of my gender change. Then in the final bit of irony, after surgery my new genitals were non-orgasmic (like 80% of my TG sisters)."
First of all I would like to thank Anne for wonderful insight into a situation so many of us sacrifice our lives and families to accomplish
At the risk of becoming too controversial again I have a couple thoughts on Anne's.
Are there more than just a few "fully operational" transsexual women who wished they had not gone all the way? Have I just been unlucky in the number of really bitter trans women I have known? (NOT Anne!) Are they bitter because they wish they had not went through the change?
I was lucky. In my formative transgendered years. I knew a person who I felt was a very unhappy individual after "going the distance".
From her I learned to be careful what you wish for. I also learned try to be very introspective into my transgender status.
NONE of that makes me a better person. For some reason, my gender identity problems were always centered mentally and not so much genitally. So I don't have a pedestal to climb up on.
At any rate I can't thank Anne enough for adding her very valuable comments.
Every time I think we have covered nearly all of the many facets of our transgendered world-we uncover another!
"That's advice I wish someone had given me. I had the sex change, I "pass" fine, my career is good but you can't imagine the number of times I've wished I could go back and see if there was another way. Despite following the rules and being as honest as I could with the medical folks at each stage, nobody stopped me and said "Are you honest to God absolutely sure this is the ONLY path for you?!" To the contrary, the voices were all cheerfully supportive of my decision. I was fortunate that the web didn't exist then - there are too damn many cheerleaders ready to reassure themselves of their own decision by parading their "successful" surgeries and encouraging others."
"I can speak the transgender party line that I was a female trapped in a male body and I remember feeling this way since I was 4. But, it's never that easy if you look at it sincerely and without preconception. There's little question that a mid-life crisis, a divorce and a cancer scare were involved in at least the timing of my sex-change decision. To be completely honest at this point (3 yrs post-op) is not easy, however, I'm not sure I would do it again. I'm now concerned that much of what I took as a gender dysfunction might have been nothing more than a neurotic sexual obsession. I was a cross-dresser for all of my sexual life and had always fantasized going fem as an ultimate turn-on. Ironically, when I began hormone treatment my libido went away. However, I mistook that relief from sexual obsession for validation of my gender change. Then in the final bit of irony, after surgery my new genitals were non-orgasmic (like 80% of my TG sisters)."
First of all I would like to thank Anne for wonderful insight into a situation so many of us sacrifice our lives and families to accomplish
At the risk of becoming too controversial again I have a couple thoughts on Anne's.
Are there more than just a few "fully operational" transsexual women who wished they had not gone all the way? Have I just been unlucky in the number of really bitter trans women I have known? (NOT Anne!) Are they bitter because they wish they had not went through the change?
I was lucky. In my formative transgendered years. I knew a person who I felt was a very unhappy individual after "going the distance".
From her I learned to be careful what you wish for. I also learned try to be very introspective into my transgender status.
NONE of that makes me a better person. For some reason, my gender identity problems were always centered mentally and not so much genitally. So I don't have a pedestal to climb up on.
At any rate I can't thank Anne enough for adding her very valuable comments.
Every time I think we have covered nearly all of the many facets of our transgendered world-we uncover another!
Two More Transgender Videos
Due to popular request, I have one more video to Cyrsti's Condo "Home Entertainment Room" and one to "Trannsnation.com.".
The one here shows a more natural "Andrej Pejic" and the beauty that he is. The one on Trannsnation shows a truly phenomenal transition!
The one here shows a more natural "Andrej Pejic" and the beauty that he is. The one on Trannsnation shows a truly phenomenal transition!
Dating the girl in the mirror?
I started this post literally a year or so ago and discovered it when I was searching the blog for "Trannsnation.com" pieces to transfer. Here is how it started:
Who is your "girl in the mirror"?
Do you want to date her, bring her home to mom or be her?
Good question! I do believe I have written about our Mom's influences on who we have become or are trying to become.
I have said a number of times, my Mom was a good provider and had definite ideas on raising me and shaping my life-but was emotionally distant.
In addition, she was very skilled at trying to intimidate and run off the very few girlfriends I would bring home.
Probably the one I identify with the most now was the one college woman I was friends with for a period of time. (As with most of you, you have to understand my relationships were less than the male norm.)
She was a very outgoing curvy young woman with all this wonderful auburn curly hair. Needless to say, not my Mom's ideal!
So I guess I would have never truly been able to bring my girl self home to my Mom.
I have written a number of times about the blunt rejection I received when I tried one time only. The subject simply disappeared, never to resurface again.
A current meeting would be interesting in that I resemble her and may even inherit some of her body attributes such as breast size.
Would she ever embrace me at all? No, I doubt it. We are similar. Both are not going to change directions. For what ever reasons she couldn't change as much as I couldn't. In reality, did it make her any less of a person?
I often wonder how my life would have changed if she would have at all? If just a portion of the information was available to both of us in the 50's and early 60's, where were we have ended up?
Of course I "googled" the answer and got "no results".
Does it really matter? No. Do I think about it? Sure. In fact, I think about it every time I read about a young transgendered person who is attempting to follow their true gender preference.
The courage to go public with the process and not go "stealth" and help no one is astounding to me!
Deep down, I believe my Mom would have reacted different today.
On the other hand, I can't believe she would have ever accepted my version of my latest girlfriend anymore than the others!
Who is your "girl in the mirror"?
Do you want to date her, bring her home to mom or be her?
Good question! I do believe I have written about our Mom's influences on who we have become or are trying to become.
I have said a number of times, my Mom was a good provider and had definite ideas on raising me and shaping my life-but was emotionally distant.
In addition, she was very skilled at trying to intimidate and run off the very few girlfriends I would bring home.
Probably the one I identify with the most now was the one college woman I was friends with for a period of time. (As with most of you, you have to understand my relationships were less than the male norm.)
She was a very outgoing curvy young woman with all this wonderful auburn curly hair. Needless to say, not my Mom's ideal!
So I guess I would have never truly been able to bring my girl self home to my Mom.
I have written a number of times about the blunt rejection I received when I tried one time only. The subject simply disappeared, never to resurface again.
A current meeting would be interesting in that I resemble her and may even inherit some of her body attributes such as breast size.
Would she ever embrace me at all? No, I doubt it. We are similar. Both are not going to change directions. For what ever reasons she couldn't change as much as I couldn't. In reality, did it make her any less of a person?
I often wonder how my life would have changed if she would have at all? If just a portion of the information was available to both of us in the 50's and early 60's, where were we have ended up?
Of course I "googled" the answer and got "no results".
Does it really matter? No. Do I think about it? Sure. In fact, I think about it every time I read about a young transgendered person who is attempting to follow their true gender preference.
The courage to go public with the process and not go "stealth" and help no one is astounding to me!
Deep down, I believe my Mom would have reacted different today.
On the other hand, I can't believe she would have ever accepted my version of my latest girlfriend anymore than the others!
Is Anything More Than a Handful Wasted?
Perhaps you have heard the title of this post (or a variation of it) to describe small breasted women. After two and a half months on hormones I am to that point.
I have devised my own measurement system-my hands.
This morning "the girls" are at a point of comfortably spreading the fingers of my hand as I cup them.
Other changes included a negative desire to eat my way through every piece of food I see.
So far I haven't gained much weight fortunately and very little in my belly area.
I have been told my body is reacting to building a "female" layer of fat in the body. The fat of course is what enables the female to be softer and develops more fat in the hip and thigh area. I simply can't wait to be able to fill out a pair of jeans better than I can now!
I'm far from an expert on the subject, but the extra layer of fat equips women to survive as a gender over men because of child bearing reasons.
As I have written hear a number of times, one of my wonderful summertime goals this year is to finally be able to wear sleeveless tops and sundresses. Of course the softer my body becomes and the more my hips and breasts happen to feminize, the more satisfying the season will be.
If only from the fact I will be able to wear the same fashions as any other woman this summer and be much more comfortable in the heat-it will be such an improvement!
I have been told to expect a nice increase in the "girls" and the rest of the body will start to catch up in a year.
Of course there are many factors I know which can influence the process and my biggest goal is to relax and try to appreciate the process I've waited so long for.
Not much else to tell all of you in the emotional department. Smaller hot flashes after the huge initial one and no crying jags yet! I'm sure the first crying binge will come at exactly the wrong time!
Well, that is the current update! Now I have to go take my meds!!!
I have devised my own measurement system-my hands.
This morning "the girls" are at a point of comfortably spreading the fingers of my hand as I cup them.
Other changes included a negative desire to eat my way through every piece of food I see.
So far I haven't gained much weight fortunately and very little in my belly area.
I have been told my body is reacting to building a "female" layer of fat in the body. The fat of course is what enables the female to be softer and develops more fat in the hip and thigh area. I simply can't wait to be able to fill out a pair of jeans better than I can now!
I'm far from an expert on the subject, but the extra layer of fat equips women to survive as a gender over men because of child bearing reasons.
As I have written hear a number of times, one of my wonderful summertime goals this year is to finally be able to wear sleeveless tops and sundresses. Of course the softer my body becomes and the more my hips and breasts happen to feminize, the more satisfying the season will be.
If only from the fact I will be able to wear the same fashions as any other woman this summer and be much more comfortable in the heat-it will be such an improvement!
I have been told to expect a nice increase in the "girls" and the rest of the body will start to catch up in a year.
Of course there are many factors I know which can influence the process and my biggest goal is to relax and try to appreciate the process I've waited so long for.
Not much else to tell all of you in the emotional department. Smaller hot flashes after the huge initial one and no crying jags yet! I'm sure the first crying binge will come at exactly the wrong time!
Well, that is the current update! Now I have to go take my meds!!!
Monday, February 20, 2012
New Classic Video's
I have been working diligently (love the word) to post another couple classic and recent transsexual and classic female impersonator video's here at Cyrsti's Condo and "Trannsnation".
I also have been able to begin putting together a couple more posts on "Trannsnation" which follow certain themes here over the years!
It is like cleaning out and organizing an old file cabinet!
I also have been able to begin putting together a couple more posts on "Trannsnation" which follow certain themes here over the years!
It is like cleaning out and organizing an old file cabinet!
Transgendered Kids on the Rise?
This article was passed along from a friend. It comes from "Yahoo News".
I'm sure all of us in the transgendered community follow with interest the stories concerning very young transgender kids.
The medical journal Pediatrics has reported a small but growing number of teens and even younger children who think they were born the wrong sex are getting support from parents and from doctors who give them sex-changing treatments.
The medical journal Pediatrics has reported a small but growing number of teens and even younger children who think they were born the wrong sex are getting support from parents and from doctors who give them sex-changing treatments.
"Pediatricians need to know these kids exist and deserve treatment, said Dr. Norman Spack, author of one of three reports published Monday and director of one of the nation's first gender identity medical clinics, at Children's Hospital Boston.
"If you open the doors, these are the kids who come. They're out there. They're in your practices," Spack said in an interview.
Switching gender roles and occasionally pretending to be the opposite sex is common in young children. But these kids are different. They feel certain they were born with the wrong bodies.
Some are labeled with "gender identity disorder,"
a psychiatric diagnosis. But Spack is among doctors who think that's a
misnomer. Emerging research suggests they may have brain differences
more similar to the opposite sex.
Spack said by some estimates, 1 in 10,000 children have the condition."
Of course there are many ethical and non ethical opinions concerning treatment of young transsexual kids but I wonder how many of us would have taken the path so very early in life if it was offered to us?
Chances are many of us would have made the one in ten thousand cut!
Cyrsti'c Condo "Home Entertainment Center" Up and Running!
Check out the "center" for three classic transgender videos!
Sunday, February 19, 2012
Dealing With Discovery
I have passed along several of the amazing insights of "Sherri Lynne" who is a rarity in our transgendered world. Sherri is an actual transgender therapist who counsels other trans women and I assume men.
Recently her life was upended when her Mom found out about her new life.
As always, the post she wrote about the experience speaks volumes to all of us.
You can read it here.
I'm sure you will all join with me in wishing Sherri the best!
Recently her life was upended when her Mom found out about her new life.
As always, the post she wrote about the experience speaks volumes to all of us.
You can read it here.
I'm sure you will all join with me in wishing Sherri the best!
A Preview of "Trannsnation.Com".
I have finally launched a much anticipated (in my mind) companion website to the "Cyrsti's Condo" called "Trannsnation.com".
Initially I plan on keeping nearly all original content here and using the website primarily as a place where I can sort and compile many of the common threads we have discussed over the years. With over 815 published posts it was time to spread out a bit!
Admittedly I haven't done much with the "Trannsnation.com" web platform yet, but I'm loving the new bells and whistles.
I'm not exactly "Techno or Web Design Girl" so it will take me awhile to put it all together.
In the meantime my initial compilation post is called "Hormone Dreams". You can follow the link here
The post begins on Labor Day 2011 and finishes the middle of this February.
I began with this topic because it's the one that seems to create the most interest.
As always Thanks! to all of you for being along for the ride!
Cyrsti.
Initially I plan on keeping nearly all original content here and using the website primarily as a place where I can sort and compile many of the common threads we have discussed over the years. With over 815 published posts it was time to spread out a bit!
Admittedly I haven't done much with the "Trannsnation.com" web platform yet, but I'm loving the new bells and whistles.
I'm not exactly "Techno or Web Design Girl" so it will take me awhile to put it all together.
In the meantime my initial compilation post is called "Hormone Dreams". You can follow the link here
The post begins on Labor Day 2011 and finishes the middle of this February.
I began with this topic because it's the one that seems to create the most interest.
As always Thanks! to all of you for being along for the ride!
Cyrsti.
Another Transgender Pioneer
Have you ever heard of "Dani Bunten"?
From the "Kotaku" Gaming site comes this salute to "Dani" who was born Daniel and was a pioneer in the gaming world.
"There are plenty of legends in the world of video games whose names will fly off the tongues of casual fans. Nolan Bushnell. Trip Hawkins. Shigeru Miyamoto. Will Wright. Sid Meier.
It's a shame, then, that so few can name another of the all-time greats, Danielle Bunten Berry.
Or, as she was known before 1992, Dan Bunten.
The designer born as Daniel Paul Bunten in 1949 is important to video games for any number of reasons, some trivial, some vital to the progression of the entire medium.
Her first game (yes, her first game, we'll get to that), 1978's Wheeler Dealers, was the first ever PC game to be sold in a printed box instead of a sleeve or plastic bag, a necessity born of the game's inclusion of a custom controller."
Sadly, she passed away in 1998 from lung cancer. For more on the story, follow the link above.
"There are plenty of legends in the world of video games whose names will fly off the tongues of casual fans. Nolan Bushnell. Trip Hawkins. Shigeru Miyamoto. Will Wright. Sid Meier.
It's a shame, then, that so few can name another of the all-time greats, Danielle Bunten Berry.
Or, as she was known before 1992, Dan Bunten.
The designer born as Daniel Paul Bunten in 1949 is important to video games for any number of reasons, some trivial, some vital to the progression of the entire medium.
Her first game (yes, her first game, we'll get to that), 1978's Wheeler Dealers, was the first ever PC game to be sold in a printed box instead of a sleeve or plastic bag, a necessity born of the game's inclusion of a custom controller."
Sadly, she passed away in 1998 from lung cancer. For more on the story, follow the link above.
Walking Into A Room With Yourself.
The other evening I happened upon a group of four couples I knew years ago as my male self. One of the guys I actually graduated with a hundred years ago and was a friend.
There aren't many of us around here as the town I'm from is one of the stereotypical "rust belt" towns sold out to foreign industry over the years. Many of my acquaintances went to greener pastures and left or under greener pastures and died. So it was strange to see so many of them in one place and so close to me.
It didn't really matter as none of them even gave me a second glance. On the other hand, I was sitting at an angle where I could watch all of them.
How strange it was to be looking in on my old life.
The first thing that struck me was how the group was separated into the four men and four women at two adjoining tables and they never looked at each other.
Well knowing them as well as I did, I could see that coming 20 years ago.
Of course I had no problems imagining what the men were talking about but of course I did wonder what the women were saying.
After a few minutes, I tired of the game and reentered my own little world and marveled at how they saw nothing of the old me!
Didn't stay long that night. Got up and closed yet another door of my old life and smiled to myself!
There aren't many of us around here as the town I'm from is one of the stereotypical "rust belt" towns sold out to foreign industry over the years. Many of my acquaintances went to greener pastures and left or under greener pastures and died. So it was strange to see so many of them in one place and so close to me.
It didn't really matter as none of them even gave me a second glance. On the other hand, I was sitting at an angle where I could watch all of them.
How strange it was to be looking in on my old life.
The first thing that struck me was how the group was separated into the four men and four women at two adjoining tables and they never looked at each other.
Well knowing them as well as I did, I could see that coming 20 years ago.
Of course I had no problems imagining what the men were talking about but of course I did wonder what the women were saying.
After a few minutes, I tired of the game and reentered my own little world and marveled at how they saw nothing of the old me!
Didn't stay long that night. Got up and closed yet another door of my old life and smiled to myself!
Book Review
I finished reading "Two Spirit Ranch" by Jaime Stryker yesterday.
If you are not familiar, it's a real live transgendered romance novel aimed at a main stream audience and you can read more about it in my previous post here
Here is my disclaimer about NOT being a professional book reviewer. You will not read about me in the New York Times.
But! I thought the book was a well done nice good read. Why?
Jaime painted a very effective picture of the pains and successes of living a transgendered life.
The book took me just enough into the life of a transsexual woman to know and empathize with her but not get mired in too much detail. Plus the book has just a touch of sensuality to give it some spice!
Of course I won't go into much more than that and ruin the book for you if you decide to purchase it.
I will say, I can't wait to see how "Terri" does in the sequel!
If you are not familiar, it's a real live transgendered romance novel aimed at a main stream audience and you can read more about it in my previous post here
Here is my disclaimer about NOT being a professional book reviewer. You will not read about me in the New York Times.
But! I thought the book was a well done nice good read. Why?
Jaime painted a very effective picture of the pains and successes of living a transgendered life.
The book took me just enough into the life of a transsexual woman to know and empathize with her but not get mired in too much detail. Plus the book has just a touch of sensuality to give it some spice!
Of course I won't go into much more than that and ruin the book for you if you decide to purchase it.
I will say, I can't wait to see how "Terri" does in the sequel!
Was It Worth It? Just Another Guy?
I had a response to a post which started something like "Here we go again, another guy who started hormones late in life".
Of course first of all I took the comment as a personal cheap shot and shot back some babble.
But you know, if I put myself out here on this blog that is going to happen. Get over it Cyrsti.
(I need to add I do so much enjoy your comments pro or con.)
As I said, I took this comment personally until I started to think-"well it's true, I am just another guy who started hormones late in life and decided to write about it". Somehow the fact I quit thinking of myself as a guy years ago was lost in the shuffle.
Whatever, I then took my thoughts a step further and wondered how I got here and was it worth it?
No matter if you are a fully changed transsexual woman or man or a weekend crossdresser at the Holiday Inn Express (which I was accused of) we all have our own very heavy crosses to bear.
Here's how mine was heavy. (I know some of you long time readers will recognize some of this but I'm compelled to repeat it.)
I started the way many of you did. I knew at a very early age I had something wrong with my perception of gender. Unlike many of you I grew up in a pre Internet era to WWII/Depression Generation parents.
Yes I did try to come out to my Mom and she recommended electro shock therapy. (Really).
So I tried my best to be the best male I could. Played football, got good grades, went to college and got drafted in the Vietnam War. You know the war that never happened.
I lived on with the torment of two genders pulling at me but I survived and tried to drink it away.
Then the pieces of the future I could never see began to fall into place.
When I was discharged from the Army, I really thought about a full time life as a woman. Then crazy things started to happen like a daughter with my first wife who knew all about my gender problems. So I chose not to go the female route and I was the weekend crossdresser for years. It got me by. Sure it was a bandage
on a huge wound.
I can use the years all of this was occurring in the late 70's-early 80's as an excuse. I can't tell you for sure how available hormones and the like were then-still no Internet to buy bootleg drugs from who knows where?
At the age of 30, I lost a business, a wife a couple rental properties and moved to the NYC area with my second wife who also knew of my gender problems. Do you remember how much fun the "recession" was in the early 80's?
The torment went on, but this time I found a new way to get through it. I moved and started to work very hard with my second wife.
She was by my side for 27 years putting up with my sometimes "nasty" temperament when the gender war inside became too great. Through it all she became more than a wife. She became my best friend.
She passed four years ago so I can't ask her "was it worth it" that I didn't go the distance as a girl? All I do know is she had a pretty good idea her husband and best friend would be just another guy taking hormones later in life because I would finally find some inner piece.
Now re-enter daughter. The choice I made not to live a female life before she was conceived proved to be such a blessing today. She totally accepts my decision.
Looking back, karma or destiny or what ever you want to call it gave me the daughter and two wonderful wives as a reward for the gender torment that became so much a part of my life. So being able to be just another guy who is starting hormones later in life was worth it.
My way of repayment is attempting to tell my story for others to see. No one has to agree or follow in my footsteps, there is no right or wrong way to live a trans life.
I'm 62 and just retired to write and sell collectibles and yes feminize my body. Ironically I was 31 when my life changed so radically years ago. To make the whole situation even more spooky is again I lost a wife and a business at this part of my life- and once again I have discovered another person who accepts me for the person I am.
So yes, it's me "just another guy who is starting hormones late in life". Just another guy who spent a life longing to be the other gender. I worked long and hard to express my inner female long before hormones even came into the picture. If that makes me less of a trans woman somehow- so be it. I'm thanking God or karma or whatever to have the chance to be where I'm at today.
Was it worth it? Hell yes. Could I have been selfish and sacrificed the ones I loved to do this earlier? Hell yes. Am I happy I didn't? Hell yes.
Does the inner girl who has always been with me like it? Hell Yes!!!!
Of course first of all I took the comment as a personal cheap shot and shot back some babble.
But you know, if I put myself out here on this blog that is going to happen. Get over it Cyrsti.
(I need to add I do so much enjoy your comments pro or con.)
As I said, I took this comment personally until I started to think-"well it's true, I am just another guy who started hormones late in life and decided to write about it". Somehow the fact I quit thinking of myself as a guy years ago was lost in the shuffle.
Whatever, I then took my thoughts a step further and wondered how I got here and was it worth it?
No matter if you are a fully changed transsexual woman or man or a weekend crossdresser at the Holiday Inn Express (which I was accused of) we all have our own very heavy crosses to bear.
Here's how mine was heavy. (I know some of you long time readers will recognize some of this but I'm compelled to repeat it.)
I started the way many of you did. I knew at a very early age I had something wrong with my perception of gender. Unlike many of you I grew up in a pre Internet era to WWII/Depression Generation parents.
Yes I did try to come out to my Mom and she recommended electro shock therapy. (Really).
So I tried my best to be the best male I could. Played football, got good grades, went to college and got drafted in the Vietnam War. You know the war that never happened.
I lived on with the torment of two genders pulling at me but I survived and tried to drink it away.
Then the pieces of the future I could never see began to fall into place.
When I was discharged from the Army, I really thought about a full time life as a woman. Then crazy things started to happen like a daughter with my first wife who knew all about my gender problems. So I chose not to go the female route and I was the weekend crossdresser for years. It got me by. Sure it was a bandage
on a huge wound.
I can use the years all of this was occurring in the late 70's-early 80's as an excuse. I can't tell you for sure how available hormones and the like were then-still no Internet to buy bootleg drugs from who knows where?
At the age of 30, I lost a business, a wife a couple rental properties and moved to the NYC area with my second wife who also knew of my gender problems. Do you remember how much fun the "recession" was in the early 80's?
The torment went on, but this time I found a new way to get through it. I moved and started to work very hard with my second wife.
She was by my side for 27 years putting up with my sometimes "nasty" temperament when the gender war inside became too great. Through it all she became more than a wife. She became my best friend.
She passed four years ago so I can't ask her "was it worth it" that I didn't go the distance as a girl? All I do know is she had a pretty good idea her husband and best friend would be just another guy taking hormones later in life because I would finally find some inner piece.
Now re-enter daughter. The choice I made not to live a female life before she was conceived proved to be such a blessing today. She totally accepts my decision.
Looking back, karma or destiny or what ever you want to call it gave me the daughter and two wonderful wives as a reward for the gender torment that became so much a part of my life. So being able to be just another guy who is starting hormones later in life was worth it.
My way of repayment is attempting to tell my story for others to see. No one has to agree or follow in my footsteps, there is no right or wrong way to live a trans life.
I'm 62 and just retired to write and sell collectibles and yes feminize my body. Ironically I was 31 when my life changed so radically years ago. To make the whole situation even more spooky is again I lost a wife and a business at this part of my life- and once again I have discovered another person who accepts me for the person I am.
So yes, it's me "just another guy who is starting hormones late in life". Just another guy who spent a life longing to be the other gender. I worked long and hard to express my inner female long before hormones even came into the picture. If that makes me less of a trans woman somehow- so be it. I'm thanking God or karma or whatever to have the chance to be where I'm at today.
Was it worth it? Hell yes. Could I have been selfish and sacrificed the ones I loved to do this earlier? Hell yes. Am I happy I didn't? Hell yes.
Does the inner girl who has always been with me like it? Hell Yes!!!!
Saturday, February 18, 2012
Another Feminine Myth?
The number one feminine mystique is the bathroom. My opinion is that women who want to protect their "Alamo" from a trans woman are just trying to perpetuate the rumor that something magical happens behind the closed doors of the bathroom-other than the obvious.
The number two most misunderstood gender mystique is a woman's purse. A purse can come in many sizes from very small to a veritable suitcase. In many ways a woman's handbag can say as much about her as anything other part of her external being.
A well worn bag could represent a woman who has a family and spends her time and resources on them. On the other hand a plain girl with a glitzy purse could be showing a glimpse of a more adventurous inner self.
Regardless of all of that, what does a woman carry in that purse anyhow?
As I become more experienced in "hand bag" basics, here is what I need in my purse to survive in the world.
Of course I need my ID's and and my bank card as I try to carry very little cash. Even though I don't deal with credit cards I seemingly accumulate other plastic cards at an alarming rate. From grocery stores, to gas stations to the various restaurants I go to-everyone offers a card. Yes I do use them and I'm fairly sure I have a million bonus points and my own personal jet waiting for me when I cash in.
Then there is the makeup. I wish I could say I was a "natural beauty" and didn't need makeup.....
For added weight I always make sure I save my change. I never know when my financial empire is going to crash and I will need those coins!
To be certain I can never find my keys or anything else in my purse (karma for all the years I made fun of women) I make sure I throw all kinds of miscellaneous things in for fun.
Of course there are the feminine hygiene products I carry in case I run into someone elses' monthly emergency in the bathroom. Or how about several receipts I don't know even where they came from mixed in with a few Kleenex's?
Now I understand why the contents of a woman's purse was always such an off limits subject. Explaining to someone the whys and hows of what's in the bag would give away the obvious. I need everything in there for my life...DUH!
Don't be sticking your hand in there...something could bite you!
The number two most misunderstood gender mystique is a woman's purse. A purse can come in many sizes from very small to a veritable suitcase. In many ways a woman's handbag can say as much about her as anything other part of her external being.
A well worn bag could represent a woman who has a family and spends her time and resources on them. On the other hand a plain girl with a glitzy purse could be showing a glimpse of a more adventurous inner self.
Regardless of all of that, what does a woman carry in that purse anyhow?
As I become more experienced in "hand bag" basics, here is what I need in my purse to survive in the world.
Of course I need my ID's and and my bank card as I try to carry very little cash. Even though I don't deal with credit cards I seemingly accumulate other plastic cards at an alarming rate. From grocery stores, to gas stations to the various restaurants I go to-everyone offers a card. Yes I do use them and I'm fairly sure I have a million bonus points and my own personal jet waiting for me when I cash in.
Then there is the makeup. I wish I could say I was a "natural beauty" and didn't need makeup.....
For added weight I always make sure I save my change. I never know when my financial empire is going to crash and I will need those coins!
To be certain I can never find my keys or anything else in my purse (karma for all the years I made fun of women) I make sure I throw all kinds of miscellaneous things in for fun.
Of course there are the feminine hygiene products I carry in case I run into someone elses' monthly emergency in the bathroom. Or how about several receipts I don't know even where they came from mixed in with a few Kleenex's?
Now I understand why the contents of a woman's purse was always such an off limits subject. Explaining to someone the whys and hows of what's in the bag would give away the obvious. I need everything in there for my life...DUH!
Don't be sticking your hand in there...something could bite you!
Friday, February 17, 2012
Take Me Out to the Ballgame!
One of the most satisfying parts of my gender journey has been the ease of "merging" the interests of my male self into my female life.
Of course, music and movies are easy but my sports fanaticism has been more of a challenge.
Becoming the girl with the little extra knowledge of sports has been fun on occasion and I have learned to temper my actions and reactions quite a bit!
If you happen to live in the Northern tier of the United States into Canada, I'm sure your winter has been pretty much non existent like mine.
Now, since the pro baseball teams are preparing to report for spring training, warmer weather and summer aren't so far off.
I'm a baseball fan and it probably ranks just below football as my favorite sport. The problem I always had was how I could present myself at a hot summer game.
Sleeveless tops and shorts were pretty much out of the question due to body/hair issues.
This summer of course, all of those restrictions have been removed and I have a friend who can't wait to go to the games too.
Even my team (Cincinnati Reds) have even improved themselves during the off season.
So even though I know "spring has not sprung" here yet, I'm dreaming of the girls watching the "boys of summer"!
Of course, music and movies are easy but my sports fanaticism has been more of a challenge.
Becoming the girl with the little extra knowledge of sports has been fun on occasion and I have learned to temper my actions and reactions quite a bit!
If you happen to live in the Northern tier of the United States into Canada, I'm sure your winter has been pretty much non existent like mine.
Now, since the pro baseball teams are preparing to report for spring training, warmer weather and summer aren't so far off.
I'm a baseball fan and it probably ranks just below football as my favorite sport. The problem I always had was how I could present myself at a hot summer game.
Sleeveless tops and shorts were pretty much out of the question due to body/hair issues.
This summer of course, all of those restrictions have been removed and I have a friend who can't wait to go to the games too.
Even my team (Cincinnati Reds) have even improved themselves during the off season.
So even though I know "spring has not sprung" here yet, I'm dreaming of the girls watching the "boys of summer"!
Thursday, February 16, 2012
Keeping a Breast of the Situation
Following my last post which turned out to be a rant with no answer, it's time to get back to a kinder and gentler life.
This morning I finished my own "breast exam" and came away feeling (no pun intended) a definite increase in the girls.
The girls and my hair are to the point where I can visualize where the future will take me and I'm excited!
My most difficult task is to go on with life and let the changes just happen as they happen.
Slight changes are usually evident.
After my initial huge hot flash, I've experienced several smaller ones-not unlike aftershocks from a major earthquake.
Curiously, "the girls" changed course and all of the sudden are feeling really tight after an initial looseness.
I'm sure there are plenty of you here that can offer suggestions.
Also, this is as good a time as any to say I do value your inputs. I don't care if you identify as a crossdresser, transgendered or transsexual person (male or female).
Together, you all combine to help make my experience a total circle and I thank you!
This morning I finished my own "breast exam" and came away feeling (no pun intended) a definite increase in the girls.
The girls and my hair are to the point where I can visualize where the future will take me and I'm excited!
My most difficult task is to go on with life and let the changes just happen as they happen.
Slight changes are usually evident.
After my initial huge hot flash, I've experienced several smaller ones-not unlike aftershocks from a major earthquake.
Curiously, "the girls" changed course and all of the sudden are feeling really tight after an initial looseness.
I'm sure there are plenty of you here that can offer suggestions.
Also, this is as good a time as any to say I do value your inputs. I don't care if you identify as a crossdresser, transgendered or transsexual person (male or female).
Together, you all combine to help make my experience a total circle and I thank you!
Trans Not Gay?
Has the transgendered nation earned the right to ask or demand our release from the so called LBGT umbrella?
In reality how did we end up there anyhow? Must have been one hell of a rainstorm?
Isn't our mantra "sex is between the legs and gender is between the ears"?
Truthfully there are two factors which keep us under the leaky umbrella. The biggest truth is we as a trans nation don't have a powerful enough national organization to effect change. To make matters worse the trans community as a whole can't even quit bickering enough to accept each other.
A leaky umbrella has the potential to keep us dryer than none at all.
The other truth is so many of the trans community are still in the closet or are out and living stealth. I'm not throwing rocks in a glass closet because I'm not totally out.
Here's an idea for our own trans umbrella. We could call it the TTC.-Transsexual/Transgendered/Crossdresser Alliance. Of course the cross dressers would have less of a voice because as a group they are less vocal and the transsexuals would have a bigger voice since they have gone through more pain and expense.
It doesn't matter because as they say in the old country "Hey dude, that ain't happenin"!
I know what you are thinking "Put your actions where your words are". Unfortunately I don't have the knowledge or the resources to even know how to start such an undertaking. I just do the best I can with my little blog in the vast Internet universe.
On the other hand the whole situation frustrates and even angers me.
The bottom line is the transgendered nation will probably remain mired in petty internal disputes unlike the others under the umbrella. Is there a pecking order in the male gay community if you are an effeminate or macho gay guy . In the lesbian community do butches consider themselves better than femmes? Probably not to the extent transsexuals have the tendency to build their own pedestals in trans nation.
So maybe we don't deserve more room under the umbrella until we grow up and attempt to understand each other first. How can we ask for acceptance when we don't even accept each other?
In reality how did we end up there anyhow? Must have been one hell of a rainstorm?
Isn't our mantra "sex is between the legs and gender is between the ears"?
Truthfully there are two factors which keep us under the leaky umbrella. The biggest truth is we as a trans nation don't have a powerful enough national organization to effect change. To make matters worse the trans community as a whole can't even quit bickering enough to accept each other.
A leaky umbrella has the potential to keep us dryer than none at all.
The other truth is so many of the trans community are still in the closet or are out and living stealth. I'm not throwing rocks in a glass closet because I'm not totally out.
Here's an idea for our own trans umbrella. We could call it the TTC.-Transsexual/Transgendered/Crossdresser Alliance. Of course the cross dressers would have less of a voice because as a group they are less vocal and the transsexuals would have a bigger voice since they have gone through more pain and expense.
It doesn't matter because as they say in the old country "Hey dude, that ain't happenin"!
I know what you are thinking "Put your actions where your words are". Unfortunately I don't have the knowledge or the resources to even know how to start such an undertaking. I just do the best I can with my little blog in the vast Internet universe.
On the other hand the whole situation frustrates and even angers me.
The bottom line is the transgendered nation will probably remain mired in petty internal disputes unlike the others under the umbrella. Is there a pecking order in the male gay community if you are an effeminate or macho gay guy . In the lesbian community do butches consider themselves better than femmes? Probably not to the extent transsexuals have the tendency to build their own pedestals in trans nation.
So maybe we don't deserve more room under the umbrella until we grow up and attempt to understand each other first. How can we ask for acceptance when we don't even accept each other?
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
A Painful First!
OK, I knew the feminine path I'm experiencing would have more than it's share of painful lessons.
Over the years I have experimented with such torture as "taping" and such and discovered I hated it. Hormones have started breast soreness and hot flashes.
I attempted to keep my whining to a minimum and I did-until now.
A couple days ago, I developed some sort of arm injury in my upper bicep. How bad was it? Torture when I tried to even put a bra on. So, this is what women go through when they have something as simple as an "ouchy" arm?
Another one of those obscure girl lessons learned and one of the painful ones!
Over the years I have experimented with such torture as "taping" and such and discovered I hated it. Hormones have started breast soreness and hot flashes.
I attempted to keep my whining to a minimum and I did-until now.
A couple days ago, I developed some sort of arm injury in my upper bicep. How bad was it? Torture when I tried to even put a bra on. So, this is what women go through when they have something as simple as an "ouchy" arm?
Another one of those obscure girl lessons learned and one of the painful ones!
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Never Go To The Grocery Store Hungry!
Everything looks good at a grocery store when you are hungry.
Quite a few things look good too when you are growing your own hair.
I just got out of the car when I noticed the tall strawberry blond across the parking lot putting her groceries in the car. I really admired her soft curls blowing in the wind and wondered how it will feel when my own hair grows to that length or longer. Hopefully as long as the next woman I admired in the store. She was "more mature"( like me) and was brushing her long straight silver streaked hair from her face with her hand. I can only imagine how long it has taken for her hair to grow that full and long!
Of course most of the women in the store were wearing that "who really cares" wind blown look. Many more were respectable in pulled back pony tails and a few shorter styles framing their faces.
The best part of the whole experience is knowing now sooner more than later I will be able to color and style my own hair-and make my own choices.
As it turns out, shopping for food was secondary to hair fashion research!
Quite a few things look good too when you are growing your own hair.
I just got out of the car when I noticed the tall strawberry blond across the parking lot putting her groceries in the car. I really admired her soft curls blowing in the wind and wondered how it will feel when my own hair grows to that length or longer. Hopefully as long as the next woman I admired in the store. She was "more mature"( like me) and was brushing her long straight silver streaked hair from her face with her hand. I can only imagine how long it has taken for her hair to grow that full and long!
Of course most of the women in the store were wearing that "who really cares" wind blown look. Many more were respectable in pulled back pony tails and a few shorter styles framing their faces.
The best part of the whole experience is knowing now sooner more than later I will be able to color and style my own hair-and make my own choices.
As it turns out, shopping for food was secondary to hair fashion research!
Merry "Smootch!" Day to You!
Happy Valentine's Day to all of you!
Aside from the commercial "gooey push" for the occasion I prefer to look at the day as a time to reflect on those who found their way into my heart over the last year.
As you might expect, it is much easier to put my feelings down in words than to vocalize them.
Two individuals in particular were recently able to open my soul again in ways I never thought possible!
One was my daughter and the other- a chance encounter.
Sure, if you equate Valentines Day with Christmas, there are many great people in my life to think about but only the two who have given me the greatest gift of all.
Now, don't get me wrong. Stuffing all those cards in envelopes and exchanging flowers and candy is neat and cool but the special valentines go out with a real heart.
On this Valentines Day I hope you have enough "heart" to go around!!!!
Merry "Smootch Day" to all of you!!!!!
Aside from the commercial "gooey push" for the occasion I prefer to look at the day as a time to reflect on those who found their way into my heart over the last year.
As you might expect, it is much easier to put my feelings down in words than to vocalize them.
Two individuals in particular were recently able to open my soul again in ways I never thought possible!
One was my daughter and the other- a chance encounter.
Sure, if you equate Valentines Day with Christmas, there are many great people in my life to think about but only the two who have given me the greatest gift of all.
Now, don't get me wrong. Stuffing all those cards in envelopes and exchanging flowers and candy is neat and cool but the special valentines go out with a real heart.
On this Valentines Day I hope you have enough "heart" to go around!!!!
Merry "Smootch Day" to all of you!!!!!
Monday, February 13, 2012
"Two Spirit Ranch"
I have my copy of the new trans-romance novel "Two Spirit Ranch" by Jaime Stryker.
The difference with Jamie's novel is it's aimed at a mainstream audience.
In my past I have read "transgender fiction". Most of what I have seen or read is aimed more at a erotic/sexual reader-not a romantic one.
I am going to take advantage of our snowy weather coming up this week and get romantic with the book!
In the meantime you can follow the link above to the "Amazon" site above or take a look below.
"
The difference with Jamie's novel is it's aimed at a mainstream audience.
In my past I have read "transgender fiction". Most of what I have seen or read is aimed more at a erotic/sexual reader-not a romantic one.
I am going to take advantage of our snowy weather coming up this week and get romantic with the book!
In the meantime you can follow the link above to the "Amazon" site above or take a look below.
"
Book Description
In this groundbreaking romance novel, Terri Lawson, an
alluring young attorney, has it all. She’s on the fast-track at her
firm, widely recognized for her pro bono work, and has a handsome
suitor, who she’s sure has marriage on his mind. But when her boyfriend
abruptly calls off their relationship and her favorite uncle passes
away, she suddenly find herself losing all that was important to her.
Not sure where to turn next, Terri heads off for a trip to small town
Clearview, Montana to explore the sprawling ranch her uncle left her.
It’s there that Terri while speeding down the highway has a run in with
the ruggedly handsome sheriff, Jake Collins. As the two find their
mutual attraction too strong to deny, Terri, who had only planned to be
in town a few days, finds herself wondering if she can risk opening her
heart again and sharing a secret from her past with Jake. ..Terri was
once Terrence. Debut novelist Jaime Stryker presents not only a romance
with a transgendered heroine but a tale of true love and acceptance.
Check it out!!!!!!
Blog Stuff
Just some quick "house cleaning" updates here in the Condo to pass along.
First. Thanks to all of you for passing the 180,000 hit mark here on the blog.
While I know the number is not that huge on the mind boggling world wide universe busting web- it is HUGE to me!!!!
While we are the subject of numbers, we have passed the 800 post mark here! That's a lot of clutter!
On a smaller scale, I redid the "contact" section of the blog which will hopefully clarify and update contact options with me
On a bigger scale I'm trying to filter more pictures from the front page of the blog to the "Gallery" Room.
I'm also thinking of moving all video's into a new "Home Entertainment Room".
Finally, I received a copy of the new mainstream transsexual romance novel which I should start reading this week. Of course I will pass along my totally unprofessional writer's opinion!
My own book has now reached the 35,000 word mark and has a final structure and I am very enthused about the whole project's progress since the first of the year.
Once again I would like to thank all of you for stopping by!!!!!!
First. Thanks to all of you for passing the 180,000 hit mark here on the blog.
While I know the number is not that huge on the mind boggling world wide universe busting web- it is HUGE to me!!!!
While we are the subject of numbers, we have passed the 800 post mark here! That's a lot of clutter!
On a smaller scale, I redid the "contact" section of the blog which will hopefully clarify and update contact options with me
On a bigger scale I'm trying to filter more pictures from the front page of the blog to the "Gallery" Room.
I'm also thinking of moving all video's into a new "Home Entertainment Room".
Finally, I received a copy of the new mainstream transsexual romance novel which I should start reading this week. Of course I will pass along my totally unprofessional writer's opinion!
My own book has now reached the 35,000 word mark and has a final structure and I am very enthused about the whole project's progress since the first of the year.
Once again I would like to thank all of you for stopping by!!!!!!
Sunday, February 12, 2012
Equal Time
Lost in the comment section of one of my recent blog posts on "Chloe Prince" is this response from Brandi.
"Ironically, a severe reaction to a bee sting triggered a drop in levels of the male hormone, testosterone."
And if you believe that, I can sell you one of those bees for only $19.95.
And if you act now, I will throw in a second bee at no additional cost!
As someone who not only knows Chloe personally, but was there on her first "night out," way before the bees, and all the other horse do-do she's been peddling, I can tell you that her entire story is nothing but slickly created nonsense.
Did she plug the "reality show" she is trying to get made of her life on there too?
She is absolutely one of the most untrustworthy, and self-serving people you will ever meet.- (My response)
Brandi!
Thanks for the insight-it "smoked" my awaiting moderation box.
I always believe in "equal time" and different info.
I obviously don't know her ( Chloe ) personally but obviously that first night out made some sort of impact!
In the age of ever increasing political ads on television-equal time is important.
Transsexual Porn Bias?
I guess there is after reading this post.
I'm not really a follower of the profession but have seen various articles featuring the more prominent stars.
Of course the porn industry has it's own awards show annually and this year "Salon.com" had this story:
"Brittany St. Jordan, a 28-year-old leggy redhead in a plunging gold number, was all dressed up with somewhere to go: the Adult Video News Awards, the so-called “Oscars for the porn industry.” But she ended up standing in line for three hours waiting to walk the red carpet, as other female performers were sent ahead. When she finally got her turn, event organizers directed her away from interviews with the press.
St. Jordan had an idea of why: Unlike the ladies who were sent right in, she’s a transsexual woman.
After the night was over, having lost in the Best Transsexual Performer category, St. Jordan took to the Web to protest her treatment. Her story inspired Kelly Pierce, a female trans performer who didn’t attend the ceremony, to write a lengthy blog post titled “AVN’s Inequality & Segregation Needs to Stop!” Soon, industry blogs and message boards picked up on the controversy."
See if this sounds familiar to you:
"Many female transsexuals feel like they’re rejected from both the straight and gay world. “Even if you go into the [gay] clubs, transsexuals and drag queens are primarily there for entertainment,” says Williams. “It’s not really inclusive. We’re kind of in limbo, we’re in between both worlds.” In the straight world, men are often timid about revealing their interest in the genre. Most sales happen online, says Williams, who has a line of signature toys, including a $240 cyberskin mold of her ass. She says, “We’re the taboo, and where does taboo usually happen? Behind closed doors..
Madison Montag, a nominee for Transsexual Performer of the Year, says, “They (Transsexual performers) get tired of just the same old thing. Transsexuals are more feminine, they’re like hyper-feminine. To me, it’s kind of get the best of both worlds.”
Lost in all of this is the fact many transsexual girls go into the porn genre to finance their sex change surgeries.
Once again it seems no matter how some things appear different...the more they are the same. From the transgender girl next door to the transsexual porn star, many priorities are still the same.
I'm not really a follower of the profession but have seen various articles featuring the more prominent stars.
Of course the porn industry has it's own awards show annually and this year "Salon.com" had this story:
"Brittany St. Jordan, a 28-year-old leggy redhead in a plunging gold number, was all dressed up with somewhere to go: the Adult Video News Awards, the so-called “Oscars for the porn industry.” But she ended up standing in line for three hours waiting to walk the red carpet, as other female performers were sent ahead. When she finally got her turn, event organizers directed her away from interviews with the press.
St. Jordan had an idea of why: Unlike the ladies who were sent right in, she’s a transsexual woman.
After the night was over, having lost in the Best Transsexual Performer category, St. Jordan took to the Web to protest her treatment. Her story inspired Kelly Pierce, a female trans performer who didn’t attend the ceremony, to write a lengthy blog post titled “AVN’s Inequality & Segregation Needs to Stop!” Soon, industry blogs and message boards picked up on the controversy."
 |
| "Brittany St. Jordan and Madison Montag" |
"Many female transsexuals feel like they’re rejected from both the straight and gay world. “Even if you go into the [gay] clubs, transsexuals and drag queens are primarily there for entertainment,” says Williams. “It’s not really inclusive. We’re kind of in limbo, we’re in between both worlds.” In the straight world, men are often timid about revealing their interest in the genre. Most sales happen online, says Williams, who has a line of signature toys, including a $240 cyberskin mold of her ass. She says, “We’re the taboo, and where does taboo usually happen? Behind closed doors..
Madison Montag, a nominee for Transsexual Performer of the Year, says, “They (Transsexual performers) get tired of just the same old thing. Transsexuals are more feminine, they’re like hyper-feminine. To me, it’s kind of get the best of both worlds.”
Lost in all of this is the fact many transsexual girls go into the porn genre to finance their sex change surgeries.
Once again it seems no matter how some things appear different...the more they are the same. From the transgender girl next door to the transsexual porn star, many priorities are still the same.
Saturday, February 11, 2012
And You Thought Women Knew It All?
Over the years, I have encountered more than several crossdressers in our community who seem to believe genetic women are all born with a "makeup gene" in their DNA.
"It just ain't true y'all!"
Read one woman's pain passed along by "Ginger Burr" of "Total Fashion Consultants".
Her recent blog post "3 Makeup Secrets Mother Never Taught You" is packed with great makeup tips.
Unless you are one of the very few transgender girls whose Mother taught you makeup secrets-follow the above link!
"It just ain't true y'all!"
Read one woman's pain passed along by "Ginger Burr" of "Total Fashion Consultants".
Her recent blog post "3 Makeup Secrets Mother Never Taught You" is packed with great makeup tips.
Unless you are one of the very few transgender girls whose Mother taught you makeup secrets-follow the above link!
Trans Woman Video Hand Off
This YouTube video was passed along to me.
You may remember "Hannah" who is one the young transsexual women from the UK who was in the news recently.
The video is positively beautiful to the point of be even "haunting"!
You may remember "Hannah" who is one the young transsexual women from the UK who was in the news recently.
The video is positively beautiful to the point of be even "haunting"!
Are You Woman Enough?
At a certain point during the history of this blog (May/June 2010) and nearly 800 published posts, I wrote a story about my wife asking me "was I man enough to be a woman?"
To make a long blog post short, she was referring to the fact I was making both of us miserable due to the ripping and tearing of my genders.
Years later, I finally figured out the whole question was wrong.
Very simply, I was probably man enough to be a woman. Turns out years later I discovered I was woman enough to be a woman. Not a female in the transsexual sense but a woman in the transgendered sense.
I am a purist in the sense that no one can call them self a female until they can birth a child. (Please don't get into semantics with me concerning females who can't bear children.) I think you know where I'm going with this and hey it's only my belief!
You faithful (thank you!) followers here have been subjected to my endless rants about females who have little or no knowledge of being women.
So there you go-the old genitalia vs gender issue.
Indeed I did need to become enough of a woman to be one.
I am not foolish or smug enough to even suggest to you my journey is complete-it never will be.
The satisfying part of my life is I now know what I have to achieve to be woman enough. The challenging part is the farther I've come-the farther I need to go!
I'm proud to say I'm becoming enough of a woman to be one.
To make a long blog post short, she was referring to the fact I was making both of us miserable due to the ripping and tearing of my genders.
Years later, I finally figured out the whole question was wrong.
Very simply, I was probably man enough to be a woman. Turns out years later I discovered I was woman enough to be a woman. Not a female in the transsexual sense but a woman in the transgendered sense.
I am a purist in the sense that no one can call them self a female until they can birth a child. (Please don't get into semantics with me concerning females who can't bear children.) I think you know where I'm going with this and hey it's only my belief!
You faithful (thank you!) followers here have been subjected to my endless rants about females who have little or no knowledge of being women.
So there you go-the old genitalia vs gender issue.
Indeed I did need to become enough of a woman to be one.
I am not foolish or smug enough to even suggest to you my journey is complete-it never will be.
The satisfying part of my life is I now know what I have to achieve to be woman enough. The challenging part is the farther I've come-the farther I need to go!
I'm proud to say I'm becoming enough of a woman to be one.
Transgender Engineering?
Check this website. You may have seen "Ana Mancini" before and if you want to see much more of her go to her "Transgender Beauty.com"
To save you some of the effort, I've added a "before", an "after" and a "too far after" picture.
To save you some of the effort, I've added a "before", an "after" and a "too far after" picture.
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| "before" |
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| "after" |
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| "WAY after broken Photo Shop Program!" |
Friday, February 10, 2012
I Feel "Swell"!
I never have be a fan of "taping" myself in the chest area to obtain a better illusion of cleavage. Way too much pain and suffering for a solution which seems to always come loose in the middle of an evening out. Whatever sensual pleasure I gained from the "illusion" of having breasts was gone. I even went as far as going "bra less" with a certain loose fitting top I had. No one could really tell what was going on with the "girls" anyhow. Of course the "girls" were the soft "boys".
Now of course the "girls" are starting to exert themselves and life is starting to change with each dosage of estrogen.
The other day I was searching through my underwear drawer and found one of my older under wire support bras. I immediately considered the potential benefit to my new girls and tried it on with my breast forms.
The new me positively loved the look!
All of the sudden it was me with the gentle swell of the girls peeking above the lacy bra. It was their turn to join the women of the world!
Heading for the closet, I immediately thought of the perfect low cut top and jeans.
I touched up my makeup, brushed my hair and headed out to meet the world.
Turns out the major distraction of the evening was trying to come up with ways to look down at the gentle swell of the girls peeking out from the top-and believing it was finally me!
Now of course the "girls" are starting to exert themselves and life is starting to change with each dosage of estrogen.
The other day I was searching through my underwear drawer and found one of my older under wire support bras. I immediately considered the potential benefit to my new girls and tried it on with my breast forms.
The new me positively loved the look!
All of the sudden it was me with the gentle swell of the girls peeking above the lacy bra. It was their turn to join the women of the world!
Heading for the closet, I immediately thought of the perfect low cut top and jeans.
I touched up my makeup, brushed my hair and headed out to meet the world.
Turns out the major distraction of the evening was trying to come up with ways to look down at the gentle swell of the girls peeking out from the top-and believing it was finally me!
Mother of Transgendered Girl Fighting Back.
In the UK a mother of a 10 year old transgendered daughter has petitioned the press to stop using transphobic terms.
The mother of a girl trapped in a boy’s body says her daughter’s
spirits have been lifted after more than 1,000 people signed a
petition to give hope to others with gender dysphoria.
Livvy James, aged 10, of Worcester, was born a boy but has always
known she was a girl and made the courageous decision to re-turn to
school in Worcester as a girl last September.
We reported in your Worcester News on Monday how Livvy, a name assumed
to protect her real identity, had battled suicidal thoughts but still
wanted to help others in the same position through the petition, set
up last Thursday by her mum, 37-year-old Saffy James.
The petition, which will eventually be handed in to the Press
Association, objects to the use of words such as ‘sex-swap/change’,
‘tranny’ and ‘gender bender’ in the press and had attracted 1,072
signatures by the time your Worcester News went to press.
Follow the "petition" link above.
The mother of a girl trapped in a boy’s body says her daughter’s
spirits have been lifted after more than 1,000 people signed a
petition to give hope to others with gender dysphoria.
Livvy James, aged 10, of Worcester, was born a boy but has always
known she was a girl and made the courageous decision to re-turn to
school in Worcester as a girl last September.
We reported in your Worcester News on Monday how Livvy, a name assumed
to protect her real identity, had battled suicidal thoughts but still
wanted to help others in the same position through the petition, set
up last Thursday by her mum, 37-year-old Saffy James.
The petition, which will eventually be handed in to the Press
Association, objects to the use of words such as ‘sex-swap/change’,
‘tranny’ and ‘gender bender’ in the press and had attracted 1,072
signatures by the time your Worcester News went to press.
Follow the "petition" link above.
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| "Livvy" |
Trans Women "Down Under"
It was all glam and glitter at the Ms Gay and Ms Transsexual Australia
competition at the Shoppingtown Hotel, Doncaster on Saturday as
beauties from around Australia vied for the illustrious titles.
No Comment. Even I'm "wordless"!!!!
competition at the Shoppingtown Hotel, Doncaster on Saturday as
beauties from around Australia vied for the illustrious titles.
No Comment. Even I'm "wordless"!!!!
Thursday, February 9, 2012
Transgendered Photo Shoot
Jessica Rosen is an American portrait and fashion photographer living in Sao Paulo, Brazil. About her series, The girls from Avenida Mem de Sa, Rosen writes:
‘I have spent the past three years working closely with a community of transgender sex workers in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil. All of the subjects of these photos were born biologically male and have since taken steps toward feminizing their identity. They have created their notion of the ideal woman and then move towards performing that role as naturally as possible. These photographs are an exploration of the performance of gender and identity’.
This is quite a unique collection and I will post a few more of them in the gallery.
The First Lady of Trangendered Social Sites!
Perhaps you've heard of "Chloe Prince" and the "PINKessence" transgendered web site.
She was featured several years ago in an ABC Primetime Special. The 2009 television news show was arguably one of the first attempts to realistically look at a trans woman's journey.
Today, Chloe made a second major television appearance with her wife on the "Anderson Cooper's" new show called "Anderson".
Chloe started her life as Ted. He dominated Chloe's life; was happily married to Renee for eight years and had two children.
Ironically, a severe reaction to a bee sting triggered a drop in levels of the male hormone, testosterone.
As his skin softened and he developed a more womanly shape, Ted discovered he felt more comfortable with his body, and ultimately underwent gender reassignment surgery.
For the complete story follow any or all of the links.
If you have never checked her "Pink" site, make sure you do it also!
She was featured several years ago in an ABC Primetime Special. The 2009 television news show was arguably one of the first attempts to realistically look at a trans woman's journey.
Today, Chloe made a second major television appearance with her wife on the "Anderson Cooper's" new show called "Anderson".
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| "Chloe Prince and Renee today" |
Chloe started her life as Ted. He dominated Chloe's life; was happily married to Renee for eight years and had two children.
Ironically, a severe reaction to a bee sting triggered a drop in levels of the male hormone, testosterone.
As his skin softened and he developed a more womanly shape, Ted discovered he felt more comfortable with his body, and ultimately underwent gender reassignment surgery.
For the complete story follow any or all of the links.
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| "Ted and Renee" |
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
New and Old Links
I was invited recently to link up with a blog called "tvChix". Admittedly, I had never heard of it but none the less flattered that Simone ( from the site ) had heard of my little blog. At first, second and third glance the site seems to be a unique compilation of all different kinds of transgendered blogs and web sites. From intellectual and political transgendered sites such as "Tranifesto" and "TransGriot" to crossdresser shopping sites and clubs, the links are there. Of course you can take a look from my "hook up" links too.
The "old" link I referred to, is the site which continues to be my "gold standard"- "Femulate". Stana just ran a great post on another set of photos from the "Miss Eng" womanless beauty pageants from the Philippines.
The name comes from the engineering school which has been doing these pageants for years. One of the interesting "disclaimers" I read said the contestants were "straight as sticks". Really? Obviously it mattered to some one!
The "old" link I referred to, is the site which continues to be my "gold standard"- "Femulate". Stana just ran a great post on another set of photos from the "Miss Eng" womanless beauty pageants from the Philippines.
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| "Miss Eng contestant from "Dream Girl's" pageant." |
What is a Freak?
First let's find an "Official" definition:
freak 1 (fr
k)
freak 1 (fr
k)
n.
1. A thing or occurrence that is markedly unusual or irregular: A freak of nature produced the midsummer snow.
2. An abnormally formed organism, especially a person or animal regarded as a curiosity or monstrosity.
3. A sudden capricious turn of mind; a whim: "The freaks of the psyche can no more be explained than the Devil" (Maurice Collis).
4. Slang
a. A drug user or addict: a speed freak.
b. An eccentric or nonconformist person, especially a member of a counterculture.
c. An enthusiast: rock music freaks.
You all probably know where I'm going with all of this. For some reason lately I've been on a tangent with "F" words. Check my recent blog post!
I guess I was looking for some good in the definition of "freak". Being a child of the 60's, freak of course was not entirely a bad term.
Looking at the definition above from "The Free Dictionary" the slang "b" definition certainly refers to the 60's lifestyle.
The number two definition brings me to a couple other "F" words. These two are fear and faith.
Being viewed as a "curiosity" will be overcome by education from the transgendered world.
Being viewed as a "monstrosity" is completely ugly and brings back one story in particular. The Tennessee legislator who wants to "stomp a mud hole" in any trans woman or trans man who seemingly threatens him.
His story evokes fear in me and probably some of you too on some level.
The fear however is a powerful motivator for me.
"Fear" leads me to my final "F" word-"fire".
Fear fires me up to have faith in myself. In my own small way, I'm trying to add my own definition to the dictionary:
When you call me a freak, I do operate in a gender flux situation which could in turn confuse or educate you.
Just don't be the monstrosity when you find out who I am. My faith will overcome your fear.
I guess I was looking for some good in the definition of "freak". Being a child of the 60's, freak of course was not entirely a bad term.
Looking at the definition above from "The Free Dictionary" the slang "b" definition certainly refers to the 60's lifestyle.
The number two definition brings me to a couple other "F" words. These two are fear and faith.
Being viewed as a "curiosity" will be overcome by education from the transgendered world.
Being viewed as a "monstrosity" is completely ugly and brings back one story in particular. The Tennessee legislator who wants to "stomp a mud hole" in any trans woman or trans man who seemingly threatens him.
His story evokes fear in me and probably some of you too on some level.
The fear however is a powerful motivator for me.
"Fear" leads me to my final "F" word-"fire".
Fear fires me up to have faith in myself. In my own small way, I'm trying to add my own definition to the dictionary:
When you call me a freak, I do operate in a gender flux situation which could in turn confuse or educate you.
Just don't be the monstrosity when you find out who I am. My faith will overcome your fear.
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Ditching Good with Better as a Trans Girl
Archive Image from Witches Ball Tom on Left. Ditching good with better has always been a difficult obstacle in my life. I always blame my...
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I don't find many new womanless pageant pictures floating around the web anymore. I think it's primarily due to the fact that th...
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Amateur, by my definition means a person who does not seriously pursue a certain interest, job or hobby. Ever sense Cyrsti's Condo ...
by Danielle Berry
[1949-1998]
[Compiled from a number of emails I sent in response to requests for input from those considering their own change.]
"Don't do it! That's my advice. This is the most awful, most expensive, most painful, most disruptive thing you could ever do. Don't do it unless there is no other alternative. You may think your life is tough but unless it's a choice between suicide and a sex-change it will only get worse. And the costs keep coming. You lose control over most aspects of your life, become a second class citizen and all so you can wear women's clothes and feel cuter than you do now. Don't do it is all I've got to say.
http://anna-es-asi.blogspot.com/2011/05/high-price-of-tg-borg-hive-think.html