Another Day In a Trans Life

As human beings, we have a finite time on the planet and perhaps infinity; depending upon which religion you happen to believe in.
I found out first hand when I had a loved one disappear over night-passing to the other side.
All of these are wonderful reasons to believe in living each day as it could be your last. It could be.
As a mere human being, I know I should try harder to appreciate the sun coming up. To try to appreciate the fact my breasts are becoming more than "buds" and the task of tying my hair back into a pony tail.
Don't get me wrong, I do live in wonderment all of this is finally happening to me.
The problem is slowing down and enjoying the journey. To just stop time for a second when I'm out in society as my chosen gender.
I've written already how I'm tracking a few of my formative years as posted here on the "Condo" and collating them on "Trannsnation.com".
One of many conclusions I'm drawing is how I felt so incredibly "liberated" on some evenings and so "humiliated" or insecure on others.
Of course I've tried to connect the dots with an erotic experience with the clothes, hair and the whole look but that doesn't work either. This was a deeper feeling of belonging. At that point, I knew my life was going to be very different.
Maybe those experiences have taught me to try to feel life as it comes-not just live it. Just being accepted visually as a woman in public is fine but feeling it is better. I want to stop time when I'm slowly walking down a sidewalk in my jeans, flip flops and loose top. The feel of my hair on  bare shoulders and back along with the soft  warmth of the day was just amazing!
In some ways I feel that is a more feminine reaction anyway.
Being the amateur evolutionist that I am, I believe (very simply) men evolved to attack and hunt and women to gather, raise the young and have a more intuitive sensual knowledge of the world.
Now I sit back and do a lot of observing. Men sometime amuse me and sometimes impress me. I was born into and played the "Alpha" male game outwardly for most of my life. I know where a man is and where he is trying to go and if he gets it right-good for him!
As for women? They have always been my passion. Their interaction with the world has always been a fascination since I wanted a doll baby for Christmas.
The toughest part is not to try to create experiences. Life is more than capable of accomplishing that!
So, on a day like today I can only write about and speculate on how the best way is to make the most of my life on this planet.
In the meantime, the day has turned out to be a very pleasant pre-spring day and is time for a nap!