Hows That Working For 'Ya?'

Every once in a while I try to pause and look around at life as a transgender person and I see for certain, there is no right or wrong way to do this. Lately, seemingly one major change has been I haven't read much recently from groups I call the "Rad Fem's" or the "Trans Nazi's" and more from those describing their experiences: Like-

FABULOUSCONNIEDEEJanuary 22, 2015 at 6:52 PM

I use my own voice when I sing. I used to wonder if people were taking me for a drag queen - or even an "impersonator". What I learned, though, is that, by just being genuine and true to myself, people have accepted me as just that. This doesn't apply only to being an entertainer, however, as being genuine and true to oneself always will reap great reward. If you doubt who you are, people will doubt if you are (or worse, "what" you are).

And:

PamJanuary 22, 2015 at 11:29 PM

Crysti, I definitly agree about the Columbus, Ohio being more accepting then other parts of Ohio. I live in Westerville a suburb. My form of advocacy involves being open about myself where I work, the groups I belong to (non-trans) and at church. This give people a chance to see we are mostly just like them and not some exotic person that they find offensive.

Using a well worn term from the "old country" - "you is what you is and not what you ain't." No amount of surgery or HRT is going to change you but it will change how you view the world...a difference almost as big as being a cross dresser to being a transgender person. My partner Liz used to be fond of telling me how wonderful it was for me to be able to reinvent myself.  Then we learned together that wasn't quite the case. I was just me all along, just hidden.  Sometimes good-sometimes not so good.

Then again: 

FABULOUSCONNIEDEEJanuary 22, 2015 at 6:14 PM

I don't think that we can ever wipe out, completely, sixty-years-worth of all the crap. Maybe if we were given sixty more years to do so? Well, only if I can still wear my 4" heels - otherwise, I can't imagine getting that old. I've managed to make it through a whole day without thinking of my "condition", but the fact that I finally came to realize that I had done that, patting my own back for it only makes me realize that I've got a long way to go yet.

Don't we all!

The Ego of Transition

I don't pretend to play or think in the arena of transgender icon's such as Janet Mock who recently released a new book called Redefining Realness.  Of course, her recent interview with Piers Morgan stirred up controversy as did Katie Couric with Laverne Cox and Carmen Carerra.  Both Morgan and Couric to a degree wanted to focus on the mechanics of transition rather than the person involved.

My question is, isn't that a huge reason we can't get along well in our own community? How many times have you seen me use the term Trans Nazi to describe someone who feels they should move to the head of the line just because of money expended and pain suffered? I know for sure, there have been cross dressers who have felt I would be the same way, simply because I live a feminine life; and let's not forget the usual genitalia questions I always get.  So, I guess I'm in the same boat and did all the uproar help me?

That's the world today, right?  What's in it for me?  Don't get me wrong. I get sick and tired of being asked about what is between my legs, I can only imagine what it would be like for Carmen, Janet or Laverne. I do find it positive they all pushed back.

I'm not naive enough to think the world will get to a point where we can be defined as women and not transgender women anytime soon.  We still have too much ground to cover and in my case, I will never be able to take the "trans" off my identity. Sixty plus years of male dominated living is simply too much to overtake.  Then again who cares?  Sure, there will always be the haters.  The Rad Femme Lesbians or Trans Nazi's probably won't go away in my lifetime. Then again, do I care?  Not so much. I'm selfish. I just want to navigate the world as closely to a woman as I can. It is quite the liberating experience for me and I will fight like hell to keep it.

Yes, on occasion all the transgender icon's do help me.  In fact more of the world is now educated to the fact there are more of me than they thought and I'm very real.  In the end, we are just trying to live our lives the best we know and along the way, we are all similar to Janet Mock.

We are simply redefining what realness is to us.

The Cult of Cross Dressing

Several years ago when I still couldn't claim being young, I still could claim to be naive in the ways of certain on line transgender women's groups called "trans nazi's" ( a label I borrowed ). Most were of the SRS variety.

As you probably have guessed by now, I'm not above "stirring the pot" on occasion. One evening I succeeded well with the comment "aren't we all cross dressers?". Very quickly all the trans nazi pedestal sitters jumped down to berate such heresy in their realm.

These days I'm much older and mellower and let the trans trolls alone, but....yes I still believe we are all cross dressers of different stages and ilk. No matter how many operations and how many chemicals you ingest, the greatest majority of us came out of the womb as one of the binary genders...externally. From whatever age we start, we cross dress to match the world with our inner gender clocks ticking away in our noggins. Which brings me to another point.

The good old self destructive hierarchy in our community. You know, TS's TG's and then CD's. I fired the group up one night when I told them their "system"  is a patriarchal  bleed through of the worst kind from their male genders.  Not unlike, hey look what I bought! No it's not a Corvette, it's a vagina! Until you get your own, well don't talk to me in your beat up old Chevy.

Not a popular position with the girls and again I learned very early my rather comfortable position as a middle of the road transgender girl wasn't good enough for a seat at the transsexual table and was too good somehow to sit with the cross dressers. How dare I attempt to live my life as a woman without all the sacrifices of surgery?

As you have also guessed by now, I don't spend a lot of time worrying about what others think of me and I do know that so many of us have had to fight tooth and nail for any public feminine existence we can achieve.  Unless you are a "natural" you need to use your time as a cross dresser to discover what is really going on inside of you.

Plus,none of us should care about the silly labels anyhow!

**Most of the definitions are from the "Urban Dictionary".

A touch of Korean for your Thursday

From Xinmsn Entertainment :


"Harisu made a shocking debut in 2001. When the beauty with a voluptuous body revealed her Adam’s apple in a TV commercial, the term “transgender” was brought to the forefront in Korea for the first time. And unlike other sexual minorities, Harisu has been catapulted to stardom suited to her stage name, which originates from the term “hot issue.”

Since then, she had enjoyed huge popularity as a singer, actress and entertainer on TV shows and has often been described as “more beautiful than women.” She left the spotlight in 2007 after marrying celebrity Mickey Jung but recently returned in the musical “Drag Queen” in which she plays a show girl."

This is actually part of a very revealing interview with Harisu as she talks about familiar topics within the transgender community.  Prejudice, suicide as well as the omnipresent criticism from within from Trans Nazi's and others are discussed.  Follow the link above for a look.