Cyrsti's Condo "Sunday Edition"

Ker Plunk! Listen up! Another Cyrsti's Condo Sunday Edition is hitting your virtual front porch. Here in Southwestern Ohio we are entering our usual "schitzoid" March weather period. Today is sunny and in the 60's but with winds near 50 miles an hour and two inches of snow by Thursday, Maybe I can get a shot of "El nino" in my cup o joe? Let's get started!

Page One: The Week that Was or Wasn't: Perhaps a sign of old age is not remembering last week??? Actually, receiving my new Social Security Card last week from Uncle Sam was huge as was reading Connie's experience at SS and we will pick it up here: 

1. "The lady at the SS office was not so helpful either, as she was not up to date on the gender change procedure, even asking whether I had the "operation". The only thing she told me that seemed to make sense is that one should be consistent from one agency to the other. In other words, if you're wanting to change both name and gender for one thing (like your driver license), it's important to do both for everything else. I really don't care what gender Social Security thinks I am, and that extends to Medicare and the IRS. I want my doctors to know that I have a prostate gland that needs attention at my age, so an "M" is OK with me. Changing my gender on my passport, however, will be important, and the "M" connected with other federal agencies could cause problems should I even have changed to "F" on my passport. I don't want to find I can't leave (or worse, re-enter) the country because TSA has found the discrepancy or inconsistency. Even if I can't afford to take a trip out of the country right now, I need to make all the changes, starting with SS I think. When I do win that trip to Fiji on Wheel of Fortune, then, I will be ready to go! OK, that possibility seems remote, but changing my gender seemed impossible not that long ago, as well."
2. Thanks Connie! I really haven't given't a passport much thought although the way it's going, I may have to have one to travel to neighboring states around here!
3. Page Two: Yesterday's Coffee-Opinion: In February the Ohio Psychological Association confirmed LGBTQ people are just like anyone else! Here it is:
   First, OPA affirmed that modern science recognizes LGBTQ people as existing on a normal spectrum of human identity. That is, LGBTQ people are just like anybody else.  On February 13th, 2016, the Ohio Psychological Association (OPA) released a statement written by the Board of Directors and the OPA LGBT Committee. The statement strongly condemns the use of conversion “therapy” on minors. Follow the link for more. 
4. And!:Equality Ohio now has a link to follow key pro/con LGBTQ bills in the Ohio Legislature like this one::OH HB389 Sexual orientation/gender identity-prohibit discrimination/religious rights, A great way to see who holding the rights of the LGBTQ community back. 
5. Page Three: Entertainment: Transgender concert pianist Sarah Davis Buechner is going to be be performing March 6th at Xavier University here in Cincinnati. I mention she is trans at all because she risked her career to restart a as woman - and guess what, she still is as good as she was and undoubtedly happier for the process. 

Page Four: The Back Page: I truly didn't set out to have all this Ohio news in this edition, it just happened that way. (Story of my life!) I will say if your state does have an "Equality" site, you may want to check it out and discover the same info I did. It could get you a head start on where you can use the bathroom before you know it!

As crass as this may sound, I have to go so the dogs can go for their walk! Love you all! Thanks for stopping by Cyrsti's Condo and to Liz for pointing out all the Equality Ohio action!

Playing Chicken?

Tyson

Where is Neil deGrasse Tyson when I need him? Or maybe the other chicken guy, Colonel Sanders?

Seriously, Tyson is the ultra cool/chic astrophysicist not entirely sure what that is :) but you can figure it out by following the link. (Not Tyson chicken!)


Yesterday, through my usual fog, I happened notice after a close shave and a generous application of an Oil of Olay moisturizer, my face looked smooth and pretty good overall. So, I got brave and decided to just apply some contouring blush, light eye make up and lipstick  and see what the world thought of the new? improved ?? me!

As it turned out, I didn't take long to find out. Liz and I went to exchange Jr's (her son's) phones at the slightly redneck mall I write about. Amazingly to me , I received none of the side looks I normally get.

Maybe playing a little chicken and going more natural was good for me as a start to my spring/summer style. At the least I began to go through my closet today to evaluate the clothes I have to begin the season and build from there.

On the way home, we didn't even stop for a bucket of chicken because it's diet-diet-diet now for a month or two!

In the System

It's ironic I have spent my entire life fighting the system (or believing 'it/they' had their collective heads up their arse's.) Now though I am doing my happy dance (look out) waiting for the system to work in my favor.

Yesterday, the giant bureaucracy known as the US government, did a fairly decent job and sent me my new Social Security card. As I see it, the card is the last of my gender marker major changes followed by a myriad of small ones. In fact, some I haven't even thought of yet.

Out of the way is my Ohio Identification/drivers license, Veterans Administration gender and name change, my legal name change in the courts and now Social Security Card. Plus, the one I always forget is the most important, my therapist's approval to do all of this. I'm very fortunate in that she is a free service given to me for my service to our country (Army) and she is qualified to do it. She has made her business to understand not just mine in the LGBTQ community, but others.

What angers me is some think my so called "condition" is not as important as others in the LGBTQ family. Of course it's no secret many think we shouldn't need the "screening" anyhow. It's expensive and repetitive. I agree.

Looking ahead, I have to keep pulling out the eraser to my old self and file name/gender paper work to important places like my bank, insurance and even the dog's vet.

It's quite the process, and as we have discussed here, where you are makes a huge difference. Even the order you decide to do it. I went for the legal name change first but that was me and the VA process was extremely important and one you probably won't have to go through unless of course you are a transgender veteran.

It only took me over 60 years to figure out the system didn't have to be that bad. Then again, there were all those bosses I had...

A Beacon in a Dark LGBTQ Night

More encouraging news from "The Nati" (Cincinnati,Ohio). 

Perhaps it is true! Some are more concerned about the welfare of our LGBTQ youth more than what panty hose they have on!  This comes from the WKRC Channel 12 story:

"CINCINNATI (Angela Ingram) - A high-tech tool for your smartphone is aimed at helping homeless teens who often do not have much support.

The UPZ app helps lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender youth stay safe by getting them off the streets. It's one of the fastest ways to get a teen's attention an app on a smartphone. This app helps lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender teens who are homeless. Melissa Meyer is the Safe & Supported director at Lighthouse Youth Services. She helped create the app.

"It's important to know that the primary reason that LGBT youth become homeless is because of family rejection," Meyer said."

Also, the Cincinnati Police Department has a LGBTQ Liaison Officer, Angela Vance and she sees a need for the app: 

"Officer Vance said, "Once they come out to their parents, a lot of them, the 40% of them, become homeless. With that comes no money, no food, under bridges. They end up coach surfing. They end up homeless. Like I said, we find them in the in the woods."

Leelah Alcorn

Vance also says there is a high rate of suicide for LGBT youth. Officer Vance spoke at a vigil honoring Leelah Alcorn. The transgender teen killed herself in 2014.

 The UPZ app has features to help prevent another tragedy. The app will also connect them to emergency hotlines by phone or text, such as suicide hotlines, self-harm hotlines, and other community services.

People who work with LGBT youth know there is still a lot of work to be done, but but this is a high-tech step in the direction of helping teens who often face a lot of struggles. It may seem that homeless teens would not have access to cell phones, but people who work with them say often times they do have a way to stay connected.

Right now, the app is available at the Android store. Lighthouse is trying to get a grant to get the app on iOS systems as well."

Follow the link for more!

Pictures of Connie!

Kidding! Bobbie passed along a link to a site which posted 54 "rare historical drag photos."

I got to thinking this couldn't be Connie, no one has ever insulted her by calling her a lady!

Are You A Veteran?

Yesterday as I was having my fluid levels checked at my local Veterans Administration hospital, another woman in the waiting room came up to me and asked "You're a Vet, Right?" I said yes I was and she said she was passing out invites to the annual Memorial Day Picnic for women veterans and would I like to come?

I thought for the briefest second and said sure! I would love to come and then managed a little extra spring to my step-or was that from missing the extra pint of blood they just took?

Just Bouncing Down the Transgender Highway

If you recall, a couple posts ago, I "bounced" from T Central into another blog in which the subject (and I paraphrase) was why so many women are seemingly attracted to a cross dresser or transgender woman. 

I wondered this too during my early days of being out of the closet as I had way more attention from women than men when I became a widow. I came up with a couple different conclusions such as: a cis woman wonders just what you are doing in their world, some admire our blatant honesty for being who we are born to be and on another level the natural sexual tensions between the genders are lessened. 

Plus, I know too, how cis women are natural "re-builders." In many ways a man in a dress could be the ultimate challenge. My example comes from years ago. A very accomplished, attractive cross dresser who attended our transvestite "mixers" back in the day. During one meeting he announced he was done with cross dressing, getting engaged and never coming back. I have always wondered if he purged and did put away his frocks and makeup for any length of time.

You all know as well as I do, what a slippery slope we are on. Indeed our first foray into Mom's or Sis's clothes could be just that-curiosity. Or, we could be beginning a life long journey into a gender discovery. Unfortunately, the highway often is a very lonely journey and one the greatest majority of cis women don't want to make.

I love to flirt as much as the next woman, it just has been more natural for me to flirt with another women. So I found the post to be great fun.

Cyrsti's Condo "Sunday Edition"

Ker Plunk! Get ready! Another wondrous edition of the "Condo" is hitting your virtual front porch. "Momma Nature" here in Cincinnati is teasing us with one of her early spring weekends before winter returns-for awhile. At any rate grab a "cup-o-joe" and let's get started!

Page One- The Week that Was - or Wasn't: As on the national scene, in South Dakota, HB 1008 one of several anti-LGBT bills conservative groups have been advancing in South Dakota, requires that every restroom, locker room, and shower room in any public school be “designated for and used only by students of the same biological sex.” The language leaves no room for transgender students, defining biological sex as “the physical condition of being male or female as determined by a person’s chromosomes and anatomy as identified at birth.”  The last I read was, the bill was within the governor's veto of passing into infamy. 

Robyn and Andrew

On the local scene, my new social security card should be arriving sometime this week as I was able to hurdle that wall with relative ease. I may have picked the right Social Security office at the right time with the right clerk (young) who seemingly understood my desire to get the process done.

Page Two- The Small Screen: Actually there is more happening on television these days than the upcoming season two of "I am Cait" with Caitlin Jenner plugging away at her life and (just maybe) her new cosmetic line. There is a show on the Discovery Life Channel if you can pick it up called "New Girls on the Block."
So far the show, as I have seen it, has done a decent job of cutting across transgender lines such as the pain of a transitioning husband and wife, two transgender lesbians in love, and more, including Robyn and Andrew who met when Robyn was Andrew's male co worker. Their friendship continued through Robyn's transition.

Page Three-Yesterday's Coffee-Opinion Jenner's Politics: (From the Advocate)

"Republicans, meet your teammate: Caitlyn Jenner. 

The transgender former Olympian turned reality star is holding firmly onto her GOP card, and from what she told reporters at the Television Critics Association tour in Pasadena, Calif., that’s not likely to change. 

Jenner

Jenner was asked why she doesn't just "support the party that supports women and women's rights?”

"Well, I really don’t want to heavily get into politics because, certainly, we have enough politics going on in the United States right now. But as I tell the girls, it’s kind of good. If the Republicans haven’t been very good on this issue — which I agree, they haven’t been.”

Well, it does look like "The Donald" (Trump) is going to need a running mate.

Page Four- The Back Page: Well kids, got to get going, we all have another busy day around here and it's time to fix some breakfast "nummers" and get to it! You are the best for coming by!

"Wanna Hook Up?" Was Unhooked!

The last couple of days I have been trying to realign the blogs I am linked to here in Cyrsti's Condo. Most had not had a new post in over three months but I am afraid by mistake I deleted some I shouldn't have. (Imagine that!) If that is you , or you want a link here, please ask!

Miss Twist

However, through the magic of Al Gore's internet today I'm going to do a little blog bouncing. First we are going to stop off at Callie's Blog T-Central and take a look at a post called Girl Meets Boy Dressed as Girl. (By the way if you haven't been there, Callie calls her blog: "Just a mondo but not complete listing of Trans-Related Bloggers and News Sites" It's amazing, but now the bounce. The actual post comes from a blog called "Miss Twist Speaks her brains."
Here's an excerpt from her recent Valentines post: "I’ve already talked about how a number of guys have responded to Twist; what about women? I’m a heterosexual guy in a skirt who happens to be engaged. But as ‘Twist’, I’m both more outgoing and rather more coy; I suppose I’d have to say Twist is flertarosexual – nothing more than a flirt.*

I also asked a number of my female friends for their thoughts and opinions; I’ve been swamped with so many nuggets, gems and useful insights I can probably generate three or four posts out of it all. (My thanks to all of them!)"

I too, have many of "Miss Twist's" experiences with women of which revolve around the concept of gender vs sexuality as it plays out between the binary genders. Probably over the years, I'm like her and did write ,many posts on the subject, because the magic sexuality switch still hasn't been thrown with me and although I dislike binary titles, I still prefer women...mostly. 

With that tease, I promise to pass along a couple stories I found from the archives around the Condo I'm collecting for the book!

Here We Don't Go Again?

If you have been following any or all of the "rest room battles" around the country, the latest move to restrict use of restrooms on a strict genetic (cis) basis is laying on the desk of the South Dakota governor Dennis Daugaard for his approval or veto.

Admit-tingly for any number of reasons. I'm a little late to this story number of weak reasons, but there is a petition circulating on Change.Org about  Thomas Lewis. I’m a transgender student at a public high school in South Dakota. Last night, South Dakota passed what will be our nation’s first anti-trans law, if the Governor signs it. I need your help to make sure that does not happen.This law – H.B. 1008 – prevents public school students from using restrooms consistent with their gender identity. If made into law, transgender students like me across the state could be forced to use a separate bathroom from everyone else. Worse, we will be forced into bathrooms that don’t correspond to our gender 
identities.

Needless to say,with the passing away of super conservative Supreme Court Justice Scalia, it's time to circle our wagons and help protect the rights of all transgender citizens. It certainly doesn't seem like the barrage of attacks against us is lessening and Indiana just might be the model for the future as corporate interests there bitterly complained against a bigoted law being proposed for the state. It was pulled back when the neighboring LGBT friendly cities of Dayton and Cincinnati, Ohio invited all business to relocate here. At latest total, Indiana has lost a purported 60 million dollars. 

Plus, at least now I can do my share at the ballot box, because Ohio is still one of the states denying complete rights to all of it's transgender citizens.

Another One Bites the Dust

Today I packed up my three forms of formal identification and headed to my closest Social Security office.

I needed one form of picture identification (my driver's license). The original filed probate approval form and original Social Security Card. For once in my life I have been organized enough to keep a folder of all the official forms I have filled out and yet to be filled out on my gender marker odyssey. So compiling all of it was easy.

What wasn't so easy was waiting to be called. As I had said in a previous Cyrsti's Condo post, because of need for "original documentation" I didn't see anyway around NOT going in and sitting for two hours. 

Amazingly, I didn't and was out of there within an hour and should have my new Social Security Card within 10 days.

Maybe I am getting jaded to this gender marker process but maybe the biggest thrill today was when I got home and found my new registration to vote in the mail! 

Cyrsti's Condo "Quote of the Day"

As seen on one of Liz's shampoo bottles: "For hair as hydrated as your boyfriend at an open bar!"

Earth Guys are Easy?

As I research topics for my next book, old subject matter comes back on a regular basis. Some of it is fun, other not so much. Some of it depends on when it comes along in my regular three to four in the morning wide awake time. So much can happen which others don't think of. For example, if you know what a CPAP machine is, I wear one and will not go anywhere without mine (if we are going on a vacation.) Very simply, it's the most UN- glamorous (Silence of the Lambs) piece of equipment one can wear on the face, and mine seemingly waits until the 3 o'clock hour to attack. 

Usually though, my CPAP has a companion harasser in the next room called a toilet. You see, I'm on Spironolactone to decrease my testosterone as part of my HRT. Spiro is very good at causing the kidneys to eliminate unneeded water and sodium from the body into the urine, but reduces the loss of potassium from the body. In other words, it makes me pee. Hopefully around the "bewitching" hour of three so I can multitask.

So, last night's topic of thought was thinking of chapter titles. Amazingly,one came to me, "Earth Men are Easy" which of course of I "flipped" from the 1988 movie "epic" I saw called "Earth Girls are Easy" .

The reason I think it is a good title is the way my life has gone during my MTF transition as I weaved my way through the main binary genders of male and female.

For the most part, men and I have left each other alone, mostly I think because of a built in distrust when I went to play for the "opposing team." For some reason they think I can see the games they play?

What  they don't know is, it wouldn't really matter as for the past seven or eight years I have built my life around lesbian identifying women, even though (at times) they are a brutal group to get along with.

Finally, as I have to consider my age and health, I truly don't get as many chances to get out to my old "haunts."  When the Doc's tell you no hormones if I don't, that's a no brainer- even for me.

You Do What???

It seems lately I have happened across more and more non transgender peeps who somehow are on a "need to know" basis with me. Used to bother me a bit, not so much any more. Not hiding what I'm proud of!

Yesterday Liz and I were shopping for a better cell phone deal at a near by mall which I would describe as having a heavy mix of red neckish "Duck Dynasty" fans. Along the way Liz had to stop to potty and I stayed out in the mall since I didn't have to go. There were three young women standing near the rest room hallway. I was bored and when one of them began to play "eye games" with me, I decided to return the favor. I tried to quickly look her way trying to catch her looking at me. It worked, she got a little embarrassed and we went on our way,

Liz was really upset with her current cell phone provider and started shopping the kiosks in the mall for a deal. It didn't take long for a 20 something super salesperson to grab her interest and make a deal. As we were talking, he asked me what I would be using my phone for since a free tablet was part of the deal and he probably thought I didn't even know how to text! I always smirk and say I am a big time blogger and author. Of course at that point, normally the other person asks what do I write about and the last three times I have just come out and  said transgender issues. (No pun intended.)

Also, right then, what I think I need, are the infamous business card I have been writing about (as you Cyrsti's Condo readers know) forever.My problem is, if there is one, is designing a card which gets everything done I want it to do on the front I always have tendency to do too much as lose impact, such as: 

1. Explain I am a real live transgender veteran woman
2. I write Cyrsti's Condo
3. I wrote my first book "Stilettos on Thin Ice" and have another in the works.
4. Add a picture if I can

Then on the back, mention I do and have done trans seminars. 

So now, being the procrastinator I am, I need a date and goal and the Trans Ohio Seminar early this summer is a great one because I have done a couple senior transgender seminars there already.

Have to "git er done".

The First Transgender President?

Jennifer Boylan

It's President's Day and I began to think of any possible transgender closeted president we have had (in relatively modern times.)  

Wouldn't that be cool? Ideally, a candidate who could understand those on both sides of the gender aisle? 

Allegedly though, the closest we have come in recent memory has been FBI Director J. Edgar Hoover's closet full of dresses. These days, as we approach elections, LGBT organizations may continually have to fight tooth and nail for our freedoms. Let alone think about a trans president.

On another subject:

In my constant search around the world wide web, yesterday I did find another wonderful interview with Jennifer Finney Boylan from the New York Times called: "You've gone to a lot of trouble to be a woman-don't be a stupid  one."  Plenty of wonderful quotes for you to take a look at!

Cyrsti's Condo "Sunday Edition"

KerPlunk and SMOOTCH!  Welcome to another Valentines Sunday Edition of the Condo which has hit your virtual front porch. We are between the bitter cold I wrote of yesterday and snowy weather today a great day to cuddle in my "jammies" with a hot cop o joe or cocoa! Let's get started.
Page One-The Week that Was or Wasn't: The week that was, revolved again around LGBT rights, especially transgender restroom rights in many areas of the country. Do the best you can to get out and support the trans youth in your communities. Here in Ohio, once again, legislators once again are trying to push a LGBT rights bill past a Republican controlled legislature. Not to mention a governor who happens to be a presidential candidate which means he is not above "blowing in the wind" and changing positions for votes. Now he is in South Carolina groveling to the Evangelical conservative right. 
Page Two- Yesterday's Coffee-Opinion: Perhaps you have heard by now U.S.  SupremeCourt Justice Antonin Scalia, the leading conservative voice on the high court, has died at the age of 79, a government source   and a family friend told CNN on Saturday. Perhaps, he was known recently for his "gobbly gook" opinions such as same sex marriage rather than sound conservative opinion. Like him or not, Scalia may have been an example of why Supreme Court justices should not have an automatic seat for life, once approved. Now of course the fight begins on who will replace him and many are saying the Obama administration should not have a choice. All in all, the process should be another increasingly interesting and important look into the American justice system.
Page Three- Rest Rooms and the Alamo? Both have incredible inconsistencies. The story (as told) is mostly fiction as you saw it on the big screen. To the uneducated, the easiest way for the radical right to prey on our rights is to mention imagined horrendous restroom activities by transgender women. The reason I bring it up again is, according to Mara KeislIng:

"The backlash against trans people that we’ve been expecting for years is here. As of today, we’re fighting against 29 pieces of anti-trans legislation in elevenstates. And more are coming. And if we lose even one, our opponents will only accelerate their efforts. We need your support to stop each and every one of these bills. Make no mistake, these anti-trans bills are not only attacking trans adults, but they’re attacking trans youth. Our children. They’d make it illegal for transgender students to use the restroom at school and even place a bounty on their heads—rewardingclassmates for turning them in. NCTE is taking a strong leadership role in these battles. We are helping coordinate messaging and strategy while finding trans people in target states to step up tell their stories. We have spent a year gearing up for this, but NCTE simply doesn’t have the resources to fight these. Please consider pitching in. We can’t combat these alone. Even if you don’t live in Illinois, Indiana, Massachusetts, Missouri, Oklahoma, South Carolina, South Dakota, Tennessee, Virginia, Washington or Wisconsin, where these bills are already up and running, they are threatening all of us and our kids all over the country." Page Four-The Back Page: Well kids, it's time to go. As always I love you and thanks for stopping by Cyrsti's Condo!

"Book' EM" Cyrsti

The last week or so I have actually settled into what I think I can and can't do with my latest book project, and along the way have actually stumbled across a couple proof readers, who work for coffee. One of them I live with also, which is a potential big stumbling block.

It's taken a lot but I have given her a red pen/pencil and said go after grammar/punctuation mistakes. Well, I just had to get over it as my efforts came back looking as if someone died on it with all the red. (And that's after Microsoft Word helped with it's own miracles.)

I'm sure those of you who are regulars here in Crysti's Condo and are grammar freaks like my partner catch me making tons of mistakes. Here is my excuse though, lots o times grammar just got in my way when there were points to make or my imagination was running wild. How's that?

On the bright side, I have figured how to move blog posts into the book after I copy and paste them to Word. Once I have something in place in my noggin it normally stays. Plus, the whole task of ever doing a book was the impossible dream for me and I have a close friend who is actually getting published and has a couple E-books. I can't come close to saying how much work that is, how creative she is and how she keeps that little all knowing
grin on her face when someone else talks about how they "should write a book." (Love it and can you tell how much respect I have for her?)

So, since goals seem to be a real live part of my life these days, the book is off and running for the finish line. The Trans Ohio Symposium or Pride Days this summer could be a real possibility if I keep working on it. 

Hopefully you are asking by now what's it about? The best and worst of my transgender life as told through Cyrsti's Condo.

It's COLD Dammit

Yes, the deep freeze has caught up with us here in Ohio and to add insult to injury, we are going to have a sizable amount of snow for Valentine's Day...time to stay home and snuggle.

My point of all of this is, if you are considering a MtF gender transition in a climate which changes seasonally, you have to consider what you are going to do about it. Unless you are much better than I am, it's tough to venture forth in cute snow boots with heels and bruise a hip. (Bad for my age.)

My problem is I am an extremely short term planner. Back in the day job interviewers would ask me what I planned on doing in five years. Early in the game I learned hoping I would be alive was not the right answer, or being a woman.

So now, after going on my second year of needing a seasonal wardrobe change, I think I have it down. Even though I can't wear heeled boots, I try to add to my boot collection every year now while they are on sale. 

Something that will be new for me this year will be the ability to go get another professional pedicure on my toes when I start wearing warm weather sandals. Then, I can retire my tennis shoes into an only exercise/walking shoe category.

I hate to say this but I think I'm fairly well set up in the tank/summer top category this year. However, I never say never! What fun would that be?

Plus, a lot could change this summer when I get my Medicare changed over and maybe I could get them to pay for a couple procedures, breast augmentation and a deviated septum surgery. I read somewhere a person ended up getting a nose job out of the deal. It's frustrating when I see a more feminine person peeking out of the mirror behind the person I'm looking at when I know that is just being shallow. I gave up being a mirror dweller years ago.

Most of these obviously are just dreams and goals, but then again without them, one's life becomes as cold and gray as the winter weather around here. Can't let that happen! 

Me and You and A Post Named Boob?

It's bad when I have hit a writers block on my second book and Cyrsti's Condo at the same time. I would suppose you could call my morning "blocked"

On the other hand, I rely on some of you to help me unblock my noggin and you did it again this morning when you considered the physical (rather than financial) pain of beard removal. To catch you up, due to my age, I must go the electrolysis route versus laser, which will only work on dark colors of beard. (Not gray)

"Paula Goodwin commented:

It's the top lip that hurts most!

And 

Mandy Sherman

Being retired, I'm in that boat with you - gray beard (laser being ineffective) and likely never being able to afford electrolysis. Regrettably I didn't have laser on my beard area (like I did for my arms and legs when they weren't gray yet.)

I had some test spots done on my side-burn area and upper lip with electrolysis back in the day...and the pain - even with numbing cream - was awful. And this from someone who had a root canal done without Novocaine years ago. The pain made it an easy decision...

I guess that's what razor blades and MAC makeup are for..

And:

Shelle Iles

So very Happy for you,must feel very fulfilling at long last :)"

Mandy @ Paula, OUCH! 
Shelle, thanks :)

Here are my choices going forward it seems. Finally the long term financial prospect tunnel I'm looking at doesn't seem to have a train coming at me and I might be able to afford Electro and/or breast surgery this year. Right now I think I would opt for the latter. Mandy is right (about shaving and Mac makeup) although I hate it. Plus I never really know when my estrogen ingestion is going to be a problem with the Doc's. I know "the Big E" does not have everything to do with breast size but it does with over all feeling for me.

At the least, life is not boring!

Transgender Beauty Queen

By now you are thinking Cyrsti, that is not so new anymore, fortunately. Plus, the nature of Cyrsti's Condo subject matter is normally MtF in nature (since of course is what I am.) So, waaaaasssup?

This story about Ashton Colby story though is different. Ashton is a FtM former beauty queen. That's right kids, he gave up his trophy to be a ...man?

From Today "Health & Wellness" The Columbus, Ohio, native spent his teen years competing on the notoriously gender-normative pageant circuit, a way of suppressing his natural inclination to behave the opposite way. "From a young age, I was a tomboy," Colby recalled. "Before puberty, it's fine to be that person. But in middle school, kids start making fun of you, and adults start having other expectations of what your life should be."

A typical story to be sure, but not one considered deeply by trans women consumed by the "what ifs"  of even having the chance to be considered a "tom boy". What we don't realize in our onward 
hell bent rushes to be women, trans guys have it just as bad.

Ashton's story provides more than a little insight. Make sure to follow the link above for more.

As Promised!

VA

We all have ID's and increasingly so as Big Brother or Sister continues to look over our shoulders, and the way the world is becoming these days, it may not be all in all a bad deal. Plus, looking ahead, as the world continues to be increasingly interconnected, bar coded identification cards are the rule. At least here in Ohio, your drivers license is coded in so when and if you get pulled over by a cop, they get a head start. Also, now when I go to the Veteran's Administration, I need to scan my ID card at a kiosk, which is why it was a such a huge deal to get my name and gender changed over.

Who Dat?

I told you all I would show you (the best I could) all my non pertinent info on my new ID's  and for a little fun, I thought I would toss in the "before" picture of me which has been "hidden" on the blog for a while!

Sorry about the "camouflage" but you get the idea of why I repeated first grade so many times!

More I.D's Arrive

My Veterans Administration all feminine identification card arrived today-to be sure, another milestone.

How much of one? I promise to show you in the next Cyrsti's Condo post.

Cyrsti's Condo "Sunday Edition"

Ker Plunk! Another Sunday edition is hitting your virtual front porch! The weather today is typical Ohio-nice today-Artic cold wave Monday. Either way, it's time to grab a cup o joe (coffee) and let's get going!
Page One-The Week that Was or Wasn't: In a 'deja vu ' moment yesterday, a week after the infamous non coffee date with a local crossdresser/trans woman. As I have said and not meaning to offend, (I don't know how she labels herself. )
At any rate yesterday, as Liz and I were doing some grocery shopping in the morning, a rather tallish slim middle aged woman passed us-or did she? Immediately my cross dresser senses went off because she was wearing heels and hose...extremely uncommon in that store where women are most likely to be wearing their jeans, yoga or workout pants on the way home.
But Liz didn't say anything so I didn't either, until the person came towards us again in another aisle and spoke a shy hello (which of course we returned) at that point Liz said she was a "no doubter" family member. (CD/T.) I briefly did wonder if that was the person I was supposed to meet the week before, but I don't think so. As of yet I have not figured out a way to introduce myself without really doing it to a person I suspect is of our faith.
Page Two-Yesterdays' Coffee-Opinion:  You may remember this story from mid December (sent in from Bobby): "Jackie Ryan was in high school when she first got involved in politics.

During a school board discussion in her small town of Sturbridge, Massachusetts, Jackie heard one of her representatives call transgender students—like her—a threat to their peers.

“I immediately sent him an email," she says, "and told him that what he was saying was completely untrue.”

When the representative ignored Jackie’s email, she decided to run for a seat on the school board."

Well, Jackie won! And, Connie commented (on Cyrsti's Condo) : "Meanwhile, so many consider the running of their pantyhose of the utmost importance." (can't figure that one out yet Connie.)

I say, good for her, but I do notice that she must have been running as "Jacob" instead of "Jackie". Anyway, she put herself in a position to show that a transgender person is not a threat to her (or his) peers as much as someone else may cause more damage to young people with an attitude that the ap'peer'ance of a trans person is threatening to their own sensibilities. Jackie was wrong on one account, though, as her campaign goes much further than the Tantasquah school district."

Well, we recently heard from Jackie: "Thank you so much for posting this! The comment above was right, I did have to run under my legal name however I ran openly trans* and talked about the issues and my community believed in me. Thanks :)

No, THANK YOU Jackie!!!! As Connie said, in so many ways you represent the future most of us never had.

Page Three- Carla Lewis: I am partial to Carla Lewis  First, she is a transgender veteran (as I am) and one of substance. In other words, (Connie) she does't consider the running of her pantyhose her utmost importance. Rather here are here recent thoughts off of Facebook:

Carla Lewis

I feel sorry for myself a lot...and I shouldn't. I'm employed. I do okay. I have awesome kids and cool little grandchildren. I have an amazing wife.

Could life be better? Absolutely!

However, on occasion I will catch my reflection in the mirror during a moment of profound clarity and I'll remember that all those years growing up as Justin, I never imagined I would grow into the woman I am. Oh, I hoped for it, prayed for it, and dreamed of it, but that voice inside my head always told me it was a fantasy that could never happen.
...but I did it!
I'm finally the person that I was meant to be for all those years! I carry all my flaws and past tragedies as badges of honor. I got to be the person I am supposed to be. I really did do it!"



Thank you Carla!!!!

Page Four-The Back Page: Since it's Super Sunday, good weather and several other places to be including a writers group, it's time to go! Before I do, here is my prediction; although I would like to see Manning go out a winner-I don't think he will!!!
In the meantime, thanks for stopping by Cyrsti's Condo-it means a lot!!!

Listen Closely?

One thing I don't think I have ever talked about here in Cyrsti's Condo is voice training. 

It's probably the next wall I have to hit and go over...and I am afraid to do it.

Why? Even though my friends and family tell me I'm fine the way I am, I am fairly sure they are being nice...and I know they are being nice when anyone talks to me on the phone.

My solution is, since I don't have the budget for voice training lessons is-an inexpensive voice recorder I can use when I drive the four hour round trip back and forth to the VA. To hell with the music on the radio...I want to hear me!

Seriously, I think I can improve on the ideas I have to improve my voice.

We Got Mail!

OK Kids, here we go...Pat, I hope you feel better!!!! Feeling as bad as you do can't be any fun at Connie's age.

Speaking of Connie, no I had no intention of even intimating how you dressed attracted whomever. It's just we have discussed several times over our past about finding ourselves around a group of embarrassing cross dressers out for a night on the town. I was referencing that somewhat. 

****Disclaimer time--being trans (or a cross dresser) does not give you a hall pass for being an idiot. Ask me, I have put myself in the wrong place at the wrong time (wearing the wrong outfit) and barely making my escape in my high heels. I think I have done everything wrong in the book at least once-except trying to glue silicone breast forms on my chest with silicone bathroom caulk from the hardware store-or trashing a women's room in a gay venue. (There were plenty of lesbians not too happy.) 

Paula

Paula!!!! Don't you think I would dearly love to have coffee with you in London! The problem is with my budget I would end up in London, Ohio (about 50 miles)

Connie, I do understand you may have one or two "coffee stands" in Seattle. Again I wish I had the cash to fly out and sample your fave "barista".

After all of that, I do appreciate all of your feedbacks. Sometime it's a lonely world here on this key board!

I will stand by my original theory though that the person who was going to meet me for coffee had a rarity-my phone number and she could have backed out easily at any time. That's the only reason I was aggravated. The last thing I would been was mad...as it was my dogs loved the extra walk they got. And, I would not cared if she said she would be meeting me "in drab."

I guess I'm not as mean as write!  

Cyrsti's Condo "From the Hart"

Add caption

"I know rules are necessary-just not necessarily for me!" 
Cyrsti Hart 

Hiding in Plain Sight?

I am usually really happy when I can touch a raw nerve of sorts with many of you. The Disappearing CrossDresser was one. 

One of the most intriguing (since I had never heard of it was) this from Calie:" I co-host a monthly lunch called the DRAB-Gab. Obviously, everyone dressed in male attire. This is an event sponsored by our local TG organization, which may just be the largest in the world...about 700 strong I believe, here in the center of the T-universe. 

Many of our monthly attendees are first-timers, having never met another one of "our kind". One common thread we have found over the years is that there's a 50/50 chance that a "newbie" who RSVP's won't show up. Why? Because they're absolutely scared to death of being outed, or afraid that we're a bunch of pervs, or whatever. 

I think your friend(?) had cold feet and is now absolutely embarrassed. She probably drove around the block several times...maybe even walked up to the coffee shop. At that point, she freaked out, turned around, and never looked back. That seems to be a common story that those who have RSVP'd for a second time, and did show up, have told us."

May I say, that's a significant membership and yes cross dressers as well as the rest of the LGBT family are invisible everywhere.  And, did I miss exactly where the center of the T-universe is? Seriously, not being a smart arse!

The point I missed in my oft weak written communication is, I really don't put a value judgement where another person may-or may not be in their transition. I have always said though, my indecision tore me apart from within-to the point of a suicide attempt.

I also understand as well as any of you the sheer terror of heading out of the closet at all. In fact, I just met a trans woman from a little town about fifty miles south of Cincinnati who was just outed on FB. She was petrified. It's a confusing deal, because 'the Nati' is gaining on Columbus in pursuit of LGBT rights and Covington, Kentucky right across the river just added one female and one male police peeps specifically trained to deal with us.

 

So, I can understand why a closet is a safe place. The only thing I have ever advocated for is...hedge your bets because life can change and all of the sudden your closet door could open. And, if it does, you can protect yourself as much as possible by places such as the voting box. It's a fact in O.H.I.O you have to look under many rocks to find a Republican representative who is pro LGBT rights. It just is true. (After all, the 'Q' in LGBTQ is for 'questioning.'

There were a couple other comments on the post I want to get back to later today. It's time for another trip to the V.A  to have my fluids checked!

  

The Saving Grace

If you are a transgender person of either gender, this will be all too familiar. If not please take the time to read it closely because it covers the whole LGBT family and beyond. It's called

BEFORE YOU TAKE YOUR LIFE: 5 THINGS EVERY LGBTQ PERSON NEEDS TO KNOW BEFORE IT’S TOO LATE written by Chris Katzner.

Here is the first paragraph: Your life. It feels like there is no hope, trapped in a well of darkness, no way out. You pray to make it all go away, if only tomorrow never dawned. The constant ping of pain ricocheting within your soul, torturing your every breath. It’s all you can do, to put one knee in front of the other, crawling down this path of living hell.

Go here for the rest.

The Disappearing CrossDresser?

Saturday I was supposed to meet another of the 'family' for lunch. To be fair, I don't how she identifies; crossdresser, transgender, or "gurl". We were to meet in a very well known coffee and sandwich shop (not called Starbucks)  but for whatever reason, coffee with her never happened.

Since I had arranged my day to meet her, yes I was more disturbed than I normally am. If you are backing off-tell me. Won't be the first time. Saturday's deal is not the point of this post though.

I began to wonder how many under the LGBT - CD umbrella over the years I have met (even if on Facebook or comments to Cyrsti's Condo) who have faded away. Or abruptly disappeared. 

Of course I have several ideas like:

1. Ill health or death
2. The wife or family found out
3. They grew tired of the fantasy of being the second coming of Marilyn Monroe
4. The sheer amount of work to make a transition got to be too much
5. Financial resources

I could probably go on, but you get the point. Plus, I need to say I only really know in person a couple trans people-one woman-one man. Then, here on line, I can claim several more like Connie, Shelle, and Stana (who I have met once) and Paula. Then, there are the transgender veterans like Carla Lewis who I share an extra bit of history. (Shelle again too.)

I guess I should look at the point of this blog as a positive influence on potential LGBTQ family members. If I can shed any light on the process, my work is complete. 

Just one thing, if you want to meet me for coffee-don't stand me up-please.