A Dog's Life

Yesterday, I mentioned the sad quandary I have found myself in with my companion of nearly eighteen years, my dog. She has reached the point where the only humane thing to do is to put her down. (Euthanize her.) I have always been a dog person and out of all the dogs I have had, she was most receptive to my feelings. Even to the point of coming over and laying with me during my lowest points. I am sure most of you have a dog story too, and here is Connie's:

"I'm sorry about your dog. That's a difficult decision to make on your part, but I imagine that it is also painful to see a friend in such distress.

The only dog I ever had was during my childhood. We got her just a couple of months before my father died of cancer when I was eight-years-old. I'm pretty sure the puppy was brought in to be a comfort for my little brother and me after the terminal illness took our father's life. For a few years, the dog was the only one who ever saw me cross dressed, and I took further comfort knowing that she didn't judge me at all. 

I was seventeen when my mother remarried a jerk who found the dog, not to mention my brother and me, a nuisance. I was so glad when I could get out of that house when I went away to college, and I'll admit that I was more concerned at the time about leaving my dog behind than I was my brother. When I returned home for the summer, my brother was there, but my dog was gone; "given away to a man with a farm." I never learned the whole truth, but that SOB was a sociopath who manipulated everyone with lies. My dog had more worth than did he.

I have a lucky buckeye! It was my grandmother's, and I found it among her jewelry in the safe deposit box after she died. I don't know how lucky it is for me, though, because my wife now wears the $40,000.00 diamond, while I'm just left with a nut. (lots of jokes and puns to be made from that!)

I'm curious to know your "100 yard dash" time. Would that be in heels, or not? :-)"

Sorry about your dog too and you are right about dogs not making a value judgement about how you are dressed.  They (dogs) definitely have move important things to worry about other than their owner being LGBT, transgender or a cross dresser! They need attention :).

As far as the "nut" joke goes, we hear the "worthless nut" slang around here. Usually after a loss and no, I don't have a 100 yard dash time! Plus I always walk it in my tennis shoes. Boring, I know! 

Brrrr!!!!

Today I wish I could write a post full of transgender excitement and sweetness and light, but it is a cold drab day here in Southwestern Ohio. First of all I am feeling the effects of being chilled all the time. I started to feel that way as soon as I got into seriously taking HRT (hormonal replacement therapy). I found out the hard way why cis women always complained about being cold. I have been walking approximately a football field a day lately, so today I plan on doing it at a brisk pace.

Also, I need to call my dog's veterinarian's office and find out how much it will cost to out her down. (euthanize her.) The poor dog is nearing 18, blind and can barely get around anymore. As sad it is becomes, I would wish someone could do it for me, if I ever reach a certain point in my life. Still, it is going to be so hard to bid farewell to one of my best friends.

On a brighter note,

This is my "Lucky Buckeye" my daughter gave me for my birthday. to put it in reference, Buckeye trees grow wild here in Ohio and their nuts are what you see in the box which is approximately 1 1/2 inch square.

The Buckeye came from a tree I found as a sapling after my wife died. (She was as big if not bigger fan of The Ohio State University as I am.) During the huge game against Penn State Saturday, we were behind almost the entire game and I was about to give up...until we won! She (wife) made a huge deal of never giving up and she was channeling me not to do it either.

I call the Buckeye my "Lucky" one because my daughter planted the weak sampling and over the years has nursed it into the tree it is today.

Now that it is bearing fruit, she plans on "hatching more."

So I know this post didn't contain much exciting content about transgender issues or the LGBT world, but I wanted you all to know a little more about what really can go on behind the scenes.

In The Bright Hot Spotlight

Saturday, I went with Liz and her son to her karate tournament. If I knew what I was going to get into, I would have tried to dress up a bit.

Halfway through, I left to take the son back home and went back. By the time I got back, the middle school gymnasium was nearly full. I needed to walk past a couple full sections of seats (probably 25 rows) to get to where I was setting before.

I felt as if every set of eyes were on me and I had to walk at least two miles to get to my seat, which of course was occupied by the time I got back. More than likely most eyes were not on me and worrying wouldn't have done much about it anyway. So, I hitched up my big girl panties and went for it.

I ended up wedging myself into a row of people that wasn't quite full and tried to make myself as small and inconspicuous as possible.

Looking back on the day, leggings and boots though, probably would have been a better choice than the old baggy jeans I was wearing.

Live and learn the hard LGBT transgender way...as always.

I am sure also, there were several Northern Kentucky folks who got their first glimpse of a real live trans woman and knew it!

Friday Night Lights

Coming up tonight Liz and I are going to a high school football game. The game will include two of my grand-kids playing in the marching band. The game just happens to feature the town's school I grew up in versus the grand-kids school.

Typically for Ohio, the weather is changing daily, going from a beautiful sunny day to a chilly, breezy and raining evening. Then the weather will flip flop back tomorrow in Columbus for the huge afternoon game between The Ohio State Buckeyes and Penn State.

As I was agonizing over what to wear tonight, I got to thinking about the chance to go at all. Sure, I have to plan an outfit around the cold and rain, but this in essence is what I signed up for when I started this transgender LGBT journey.

The whole day will be such a departure from my old "heels and hose" cross dressing days, I can't believe it sometimes. I also urge all of you thinking about going 24/7 to think about it too. Consider your most challenging trans feminine experience and go from there. Mine was going to a junk yard one day to pick up a part. I figured if I could make it there, I could make it anywhere.

Of course, key to me was having a support system to back me up. An example is tonight (as I wrote) Liz is going to tonight and we will be joining my ultra supportive daughter and son in law. Even my first wife will be there and she supports me too.

Then, there is always more to the trip than just the game, because we will probably stop for a bite to eat...the more interaction the better.

And by the way, I will be rooting for my hometown team, Springfield. :)

Pass the LGBT Tissues?

This will be a two part post. The first part comes from Connie's comment about my "hormonal" weepy post yesterday. The second comes from a post I read from Stana on Femulate.

Connie wrote:


"Excuse me, but would that not be "the The Ohio State University Band?" I hope I didn't make you cry with that. ;-)

I'm not sure if my weepiness is due to the fact that I was always prone to be, but no longer feel the need to hold it back, or because I'm at an age where I find nostalgia in so many things. Probably both.

A lady should always carry tissues - for weeping and many other things. I remember once when my grandson had chocolate stuck on his face. I had to resist the temptation to lick my thumb in order to clean it off, opting for the tissue instead. And now, with that memory, I can feel my eyes starting to well up. Yes, such is life!"

Yes, the Ohio State Band makes me weepy because of all the great memories it brings back from my life. Although I can see how I left myself open for your comment :). Actually, around here it's known as "The Best Damn Band in the Land" and it's harder to make it into the band than onto the football team.

Finally, it's interesting I don't carry a tampon in my purse anymore (in lieu of tissues), for those emergency friend requests in Women's rooms. They all think I am too old I guess. :)

Stana's post had to do with we transgender women and/or crossdressers getting started on our feminine paths because we formed the desire to create our own girlfriend. Although I have spent a considerable time wondering about the exact same thing and I was intensely shy around girls, I think, for whatever reason, I was predestined to gender transition into the trans woman I am now from puberty on. 

Plus, even though I went on to date quite a few girls/women, I couldn't shake the feeling I wanted to be them more than with them, and like so many of you , I followed the same path of stair-steps to get to where I am now.

At any rate, Stana writes an interesting post which you can read by following the link above.  

Damn Hormones

Must be my estrogen has been out of whack for the last month or so. Even with the excitement of a LGBT transgender Halloween, I have been uncontrollably weepy on occasion.

Most of the time, I find myself in the uniquely feminine position of crying out of happiness or because of becoming overly sympathetic. Examples are I cried during the fireworks last week when Liz and I went to a Cancer (Leukemia) Society Walk and when and if I get to see the Ohio State Band enter the field, I cry too.

Maybe I am just becoming over sentimental in my old age, because I have not experienced the overall melancholy I experienced when I first started HRT (hormone replacement therapy.)

Whatever the case, I have accepted being "weepy" has being just another part of my journey and always make sure I have an extra tissue or two in my purse!

Such is life.

Boys Will be Girls

In what will probably be my last Witches's Ball post, I remembered I promised to tell all of you if I saw any/many cross dressers and/or beginning transgender women at the ball.

The answer is just a couple over the course of the evening out of an estimated 150 attendees.

As you can see to the left, I was afforded a great seat to sit and "people" watch.

Both of the other cross dressers were very young and thin and one was dressed as a skeletal witch and the other just as a girl. One looked like she was wearing her own hair and the other had a cheap Halloween store blond knock off.

Liz had a chance to make eye contact with the second who was there with a group of girls and received a shy smile in return.

I couldn't make eye contact with either which was different because of all the other eye contact I made.

Maybe next year they will be back!

Remember When?

One of the most remarkable moments during the "Witches Ball" on Saturday, came with  remembering back to all the Halloween parties which played such an integral part in me beginning to find my way in the world as a transgender woman.

Back in those days, my goal was to (of course) do my best to transform from a guy into the most attractive or bizarre woman I could. These days I am taking a much shorter route from trans woman to woman.

It's difficult to believe how far I have been able to come in my journey and still have so much fun.

I was able to use the rest room as much as I wanted without incident and was even able to enjoy a couple of beers before we cleaned up and headed home after three in the morning.

To be able to walk through the crowd and feel all the eyes on me was a rush too. I guess I am just an incurable narcissist after all. I just loved all of the attention and I remembered to ask Liz to take a couple of pictures to illustrate my point.

Rarely (never) do I like my pictures but I had a fun time with these.

As I did with the evening. Long live Halloween! :)

Perception and Reality Intersected

Well, the 15th Annual Cincinnati Witches Ball has come and gone, and of course it was a transgender woman's right to change her mind about a costume.

Actually, I couldn't quite find what I wore last year, so I hurriedly threw together a costume that came a little closer to fitting the night's theme.

I found a sparkly sleeveless top (red) and paired it with my black wide gaucho pants and flats for comfort and topped it all off with a funky large fedora.

For makeup, I used a light foundation, smokey eyes and dark red lipstick. I even did a fairly good job of painting my own nails a variation of red.

The most interesting story of the night came early as I was helping dole out the appetizers and one of the young bartenders who I did not know came through to help distribute them throughout the venue.

He said, "I thought you were a real woman." I said thanks and I am...a transgender woman. He just said "Oh." and went on about his business.

I thought I was going to be in for a real interesting evening if it was starting like this. However, it calmed down quite a bit.

Of course, I got quite a few looks and was spoken to many times but the fun of the evening came from the ones who really didn't know what gender I was.

Plus I spent quite a bit of time chatting with a couple old acquaintances I hadn't seen for awhile.

I will have a couple more posts about the event plus I do have a couple more pictures to pass along (no pun intended) too. So stick around Cyrsti's Condo.

The Bitch (Witch) is Back!

After much consternation over the "gangster moll" costume not fitting well, I decided to save Liz the time to make it over and will come to the "Cincinnati Witches Ball" as ...a witch.

Witches Ball Costume...Five years ago

I use a long flowing black and white patterned dress with fish nets and flats and use a much lighter foundation to set off my "smoky eyes." If I can find a funky witches hat to go with it, I am going to add it this year too.

Last year, I did garner the attention of an "admirer" so it will be interesting to see if I do again this year.

It's a fun free wheeling costume to wear, so I'm looking forward to "gliding" through the evening. I suppose I could pick up a witches broom to go with the costume, but it would be something else I would have to keep track of and put out extra expense.

With a little luck I may be able to come up with a picture!

It will be interesting if I see any other cross dresser - transgender women there.

In Sync

Sometimes I'm a little slower than the average bear. This morning when I woke up, I had to brush my hair out of my face immediately and thought what a pain!

Then I thought back to the days when I woke up continually to the pain of "gender dysphoria." Which I can only describe as a tearing deep down inside. How was I going to make it through another day acting like a person I never was. It was ugly.

Now though, I am able to get immediate feedback on who I am, thanks in a large part to HRT and how I am able to live as a transgender woman. I can only describe it as a feeling like no other I have ever experienced.

So I don't know if the wait was worth it, but being "in-sync" with myself makes like so much easier and brushing my hair out was all right too!

The Wizard Was Kind

I had quite the day yesterday during the two transgender support group meetings I went to.

The first one at the Dayton, Ohio VA Hospital was a bit more boring since the on again/off again SRS trans woman didn't attend. She always aggravates me when she uses terms such as "transgendered" and "transgenders" when referring to others in the LGBT trans tribe. So overall, I found "boring" to be more pleasant. My lesbian friend was there to make up for the loss.

The second meeting was attended by a nice mix of trans women and transgender men with a wide variety of ages. I always an inspired somehow by being around transgender youth and feeling their energy. Being a new attendee, I was told I had to give my life story. A mistake to be sure. If I didn't give the abbreviated version, we would still be there :).

The whole day was good since I was going to accepting places and feeling good about the way I looked. I went with my gray boots, black leggings and a hip hugging gray sweater. Some days I feel I get my makeup right for the occasion and sometimes I don't. Yesterday, I felt I did.

So even though the second meeting is tough for me to get to (and back) I am going to try to get to it again. As the elder (?) in the group, I think sometimes my input means something. I told all of them how proud I was of their efforts in coming out.

The Wizard was good to me.

Off to See The Wizard

Today I have two transgender support groups to go to. Both are in Dayton, Ohio, about an hour and a half drive one way. So, it's not like I can stop somewhere and make any major outfit changes.

Since I have seen an increasing amount of women wearing boots, I am thinking about pulling out and dusting off mine from last winter and trying on some leggings. My problem is I could be walking some distances and I may have to break the boots in again. I still have an hour or so to check out leggings, jeans etc.

The first group today is the one I write about all the time at the Dayton Veterans Hospital. One of the attendees goes to the second meetup which I have never been to, but have been invited. If I tag along with her, at least I will know where I am going.

Whatever the case, I will have the chance to meet some new friends and set my network up for success. The second group does diversity days regularly at the VA hospital.

Now I just have to find something appropriate to wear. I want something with a little edge which is comfortable too!

It will be interesting to see how many transgender women and men versus cross dressers are attending the second meeting.  It is held above one of Dayton's biggest LGBT venues, so anything is possible,

"Gangsta-Revisited"

Well, although it didn't take all day :) to see if Liz's old "Gangster Moll" costume didn't really fit all the way, it is close enough to fix with her considerable sewing skills and a little elastic.

Now I get to pay the price for my considerable increase in appetite and weight. While I know I can blame some of it on the effects of HRT, I know I am to blame and I doubt if I can walk off enough weight before the witches ball this weekend. Sigh!

Maybe Connie's right...wear something orange and come as Trump.

Other than Halloween fast approaching, the "Me Too" campaign protesting male molestation of women is gaining ground. It is so entrenched, it will be interesting to see how much of a dent will be made in the problem. Perhaps you have seen, even Harvey Weinstein's brother has distanced himself from the "perve." However, as long as many people (including women) continue to think treating women this way is just a right of "male passage", it will continue to be a wrong of female passage.

Halloween with friend from five years ago. NOT my hair :)

I told you of my up bringing, and it was shocking and more than a little scary. In a split second I found out what it would be like to be held powerless against your will. And no, the experience was not a validation of my femininity, it was a lesson learned against my humanity. Cross dresser, transgender woman or whatever.

 

Short Sunday

Not much to write about today. Busy day coming up trying to see if an older "gangster moll" costume of Liz's still fits me. If it does, I may have to get a new pair of fishnets, Fedora hat and wear the costume to this years' Cincinnati Witches Ball. The whole event should be great fun with this years theme "The Mad Hatter." Free music and food treats with admission, pirates, belly dancers and so much more!

Those of you who are Saturday Night Live fans probably saw last night the show caught up with Harvey Weinstein. He was harpooned on the "Weekend News Update" segment after a weak attempt earlier in the show. Sadly it seems, men such as Weinstein see it as their duty to provide a very tragic and distasteful right of passage for some/most women. The process is just not limited to cis-women as even I was cornered one night at a cross dresser-transgender party by an "admirer." He was much bigger than I and had managed to maneuver me into a corner before my deceased wife came in to protect me. Lesson learned!

Past that, the Cincinnati Bengals won't lose (because they don't play today) and my "The Ohio State Buckeyes"  continued their march towards a terrific game in a couple of weeks against Penn State and Connie, how many undefeated teams are left in Washington State?

Enough football already! (If there is such a thing.) I must get on with my Sunday. I hope you all are getting along OK and my thoughts go out to all the victims of the California wildfires. May the force be with you all!

LGBT Coming Out Day

Actually, "Coming Out Day" was a couple days ago, so I am a little late writing about it. But, here it goes anyway.

Coming out for me was certainly the slippery slope. I was entertaining the idea literally for years until I could figure out a way to do it as easy as possible. What happened to me was a series of gentle/not so gentle nudges from friends until the deed was done. They were viewing me as a transgender woman with no strings attached, so, why shouldn't I?

One person, my partner Liz, gets the most credit for making me a trans believer in myself, although there were others too!

My daughter's total acceptance of me really helped and there was so much more like being asked to tag along to events such as an NFL Monday Night Football game, lesbian happy hour parties and many others.

After much consternation, it all became increasingly routine as I reached the point when I could start HRT, retire, grow my hair out and eventually change my MtF

Pre-HRT transition picture

gender markers. Again it was Liz pushing me ever so slightly to be myself.

So, I can't celebrate an actual "Coming Out Day" as some do. I can celebrate though, my partner, daughter and friends who wouldn't give up on me until I got it done.

What is next? Living my dream of navigating the world daily as a woman after jumping through all the LGBT hurdles I had to jump through.

I'm walking everyday to help jump anymore hurdles I may have to negotiate in the future and maybe there will be fewer of them too!

Mile Stones

And, not the stone (chip) on the shoulder of quite a few LGBT transgender people.

For whatever reason, I neglected to mention I celebrated my 68th birthday last week, and on almost the same day, we passed the two million "hit" mark here in Cyrsti's Condo.

I would like to thank my long deceased parents for their tenacity in having me and all of you for stopping by the blog so regularly. Your comments make the effort sooooo worth it!

Thanks all again!

Going All the Way

Could not resist passing along this comment from Connie, even though it included a reference to a rare football loss by my The Ohio State Buckeyes. Oklahoma played us tough and won and we have a tough schedule the rest of the way, headlined by Penn State. Until Connie mentioned it, I wasn't aware anyone played "big boy" foot ball in the Pacific Northwest :).

"I have to wonder, in your Crossport group, if there are any who could...go...all...the...way!

Sorry. It's the middle of college football season, and we happen to have, here in Washington, two of the thirteen teams that are thus far undefeated. Sorry for your loss. ;-)

Really, though, based on your own experience, do you think you might be able to predict the future of a trans woman by getting to know her? I have known some who seemed to have jumped right out of the closet and into a full-blown transition. Then, there are others (more like myself) who had procrastinated for years before realizing that they were really transitioning all along, albeit very slowly. Knowing what I do now, I could have given myself some good advice years ago. That advice would probably be somewhere between diving straight in and dragging heels (pun, if you want it to be). I also wonder how much influence we might have toward someone else's decisions. 

I haven't attended a trans support group meeting for years. I came to the conclusion long ago that I can only offer my own experience as support, and there has been little support I can get for myself. I think that those with whom I may better relate are living their lives more as I do, so they don't attend those meetings, either. Cross dressers may admire me for my presentation, but I have actually experienced admonishment from the non-binary group for being too feminine. I find little value in participating in an often-patronizing mutual admiration society, nor do I relate to the often-confused gender fluid trans people. 

I think that I can read fairly well when a cross dresser is not interested in transitioning, even if they may have a fantasy of doing so. I know a couple who have gone into a transition by chasing the fantasy, only to find that they end up to be still a cross dresser - but with real boobs. One of those, I could have predicted as much, but I dared not give cautionary advice. 

I have felt for a long time that I have taken on a responsibility for others by being in my own transition, as we all should realize that it is not just ourselves, but everyone with whom we interact who transitions along with us. I can try to change hearts and minds better, then, through being a good example, I think.

Back to the football analogy: I might just be punting on this. :-) "

Yes, for sure I have met several cross dressers whom I thought were "naturals" for the change but for whatever reason never went through the process. Then there were the others who did it seemingly for the "thrill" and lived happily never-after.  I always speculated they weren't really transgender down deep and should have stayed in cross dresser mode. Which would have been fine since they seemed happier.

You Can't Put Make Up on a Stone Chip

Perhaps the title is similar to "making a silk purse out of a sow's ear."

Surprisingly enough, this Cyrsti's Condo post comes from my session with my therapist yesterday. We normally don't get into much creativity during the hour.

The idea came from when I described one of my fellow transgender veteran acquaintances to her. Being blunt, the trans woman in question carries a huge chip on her shoulder because she is transgender. No matter how nice looking she may be, the ugliness of the chip always seems to shine through. She is one of those peeps who seem to always find the negative in every situation.

I made the point to my therapist transitioning the body never does totally transition the mind! A big chip on the shoulder does not make for an interesting person, male, female or transgender.

The Man in Black and SNL

We received a great thought provoking post from Pat concerning our Jason Aldean/Saturday Night Live recent show:

"While Petty's song "Don't Back Down" is the definitive version and Aldean did a great cover on SNL I am partial to the Johnny Cash version of the song. Very strong.

I do not think that SNL hits all the notes. They only hit those that are left wing. There was no mention about Harvey Weinstein's 30+ years of making young women victims of his depraved arrogance. This is the man that Meryl Streep called 'God'. This is the man that has given millions of dollars to the Democrat party including major gifts to Obama, the Clintons, Schumer, Queen Nancy, Gillibrand, Cuomo, etc. Perhaps one of the most powerful people out there and not a peep from SNL.

Connie raises good points. You cannot push on a string. You can only lead a horse to water...you cannot make them drink. You cannot legislate interpersonal feelings. People need to meet us and come to appreciate us as the people that we are. We cannot simply call all people haters like that in house attorney corporate VP for strategy at CBS did after the horrific shootings in Vegas by referring to a good part of the citizens as "Repugs"..short for repugnant and then saying she had no sympathy for the people killed at the concert because in her view they were mostly Republicans. It is attitudes like this from the left wing power elite that get regurgitated and spread around.

I follow lots of different news and it would seem but for the left following the Alinsky/Clinton/Obama playbook of calling those who do not support their power as haters the amount of hate in this country would be toned down. Just look back at the Democrat supporter who shot Steve Scalise and other Republicans at a baseball practice for the sole reason that they were Republicans. He was able to get of 70 rounds without an automatic weapon or bump stock.

My views
Pat"

Pat, I don't think anyone would ever expect SNL to jump on the Republican bandwagon anytime soon. It would not surprise me to see them take on Harvey Weinstein soon though. As far as Johnny Cash goes, I agree most if not all of his music was strong!

No matter which side of the aisle you sympathize with, there is no room for comments such as the "CBS" VP made and I believe she lost her job over her ignorance.

As far as gun control goes, the only thing I have ever said consistently is, the crazies will always find a way to procure weapons. Just don't make it easier to do it! 

Thanks for the comment. 

Semi Busy

This week will be a little busy.

Tonight is another Crossport transgender - crossdresser support meeting. Even though not many attend, there is normally interesting conversation from individuals ranging from totally in the closet to those who have gone all the way through SRS. It's starting to get a bit cooler now, so I expect more attendees.

Wednesday is another fun filled day with my therapist and final trip to the attorney to fill out my probate paperwork.

Again, it is supposed to be cooler on Wednesday so I am thinking about leggings and boots for the day.

Other than that, we are moving closer and closer to the magik bewitching hour of Halloween. At it's best, a chance for those cross dressers and trans women still in the closet to burst out and strut their feminine selves or, at the least a chance for all of us to join cis women everywhere and wear something a little trashy.

A chance for you to add to your favorite LGBT Halloween story!

I Wont Back Down

For those of you who caught Saturday Night Live's opening last night, you would have heard Jason Aldeans'  cover of Tom Petty's song, "I Won't Back Down". As you most likely remember, Aldean was on the stage during the Las Vegas terrorist attack. It was a moving experience as once again, SNL didn't miss a beat with one of their better shows.

However, some of transgender women and trans men put our own spin to Petty's song, as we can never back down!

Recently, I received several comments on the subject and on our shrinking protections thanks to the current administration.

First from Connie: "...no longer enjoy such protections" is a loaded statement. At least I never really found an opportunity to "enjoy" much, if anything, in the way of protection when it was (presumably) there for me. There's nothing enjoyable about being turned down for a job with a made-up reason, so as to cover up the employer's own prejudice. In fact, it hurts. One gets over it by taking solace in the avoidance of working for someone who would only be tolerable, at best. Protection by law does not guarantee employment, and could even be a deterrent to it. I can understand an employer's hesitancy to become subjected to possible law suits, if not just the drama, that could come with a trans employee - even if they had no personal objection to that employee's gender identity and/or expression.

The greater harm that is caused by Sessions' removal of transgender protections in the workplace (and anywhere else he thinks he can get away with) is the general mood it creates. This administration perpetuates hate-mongering, and trans people seem to be a favorite target for them. At least, the prior protections allowed for some social acceptance of trans people to expand. Retracting any protections is like giving permission for the expression of hate. 

We are all supposed to have a larger protection - a protection to pursue our own happiness. Why some people think that being hateful leads to happiness is beyond me."

And from Stana about Petty himself and one of his videos:

"StanaOctober 6, 2017 at 8:53 AM

Some say that the woman in his video for "You Don't Know How It Feels" (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9TlBTPITo1I) is a transwoman. I was never able to confirm  it."

And yes, that was Stana from Femulate :)

Thanks, Ladies!

Second Class Citizens Again

In a not so surprising move, the "evil elf from the South-Jeff Sessions" took away the transgender protections from The Department of Justice who will no longer argue that workplace protections on the basis of sex protect transgender people from discrimination. That’s according to a new memo from Attorney General Jeff Sessions obtained by BuzzFeed Thursday.

The new policy reverses a policy put in place in 2014 by then-Attorney General Eric Holder. The fundamental question is whether denying someone employment based on their gender identity (i.e. being transgender) constitutes discrimination on the basis of that person’s “sex,” as protected under Title VII of the Civil Rights Act. Holder held that trans people fall under that category, but Sessions has now reversed that and declared they no longer enjoy such protections.

Can't say I didn't see it coming when the new administration was elected. It is so sad and tragic to live in such a violence ridden country where I am a second class LGBT citizen!

Just think ahead all of you who are still in the closet. If/when you decide to come out, your legal protections are disappearing. Be careful of your vote! 

Tom Petty

Sort of lost in the Las Vegas terrorist tragedy was the untimely passing of musician Tom Petty.

Perhaps a little known fact about him was his support of the LGBT

transgender community.

In fact, in his later shows he included a picture of the late Alexis Arquette. (left)

Although Tom Petty's music will be sorely missed by many of us, his legacy will live on.

Another R.I.P! All too soon.

Better Late Than Never...A Transgender Life

this comment comes from Connie, and reveals her struggles transitioning into her trans life today:

"Yes, opportunity is maybe the thing that makes transitioning a possibility. For those of us who are transitioning now in our 60's, there was very little in the way of opportunity when we first struggled with our gender identities. If I had an oldest known picture of myself, it would be from a Polaroid camera, and I think still in black and white, as the color cameras had not been invented yet (getting a roll of film developed through the local drug store was NOT an option, for fear of outing myself). It never occurred to me to take my own pic as a child, though, because I was always very careful not to leave any evidence of my cross dressing "opportunities." Those are not the opportunities we're talking about, however. The opportunities we need to consider are, more precisely, found in the available options. There were few, if any, available to us 50 -60 years ago.

I've never subscribed to the saying: "a woman trapped in a man's body." The trap, for me, had always been the lack of available options - no exit door from my closet, so to speak. So, I must say that it was much harder to live with that than the transition process has been. I had become more than entrenched; I had dug a very deep hole for myself.

I would not recommend waiting for nature to reduce testosterone levels. I don't know if my "softer features" are the result of that, or just that I have a fat face. :-) I only know that I would have been better off had I had much less of it (testosterone) in the first place. I'd be much better off without much of the fat now, but I'm hoping to become the white Queen Latifa these days, anyway. ;-)

I remember when my own kids paid me almost no attention, but that had nothing to do with my gender identity back then. :-)" 

I remember the embarrassment of outing myself unknowingly to a guy I knew at a drugstore once when I took a chance and had a roll of film developed! Plus, like you, I too have never accepted the "trapped woman" theory of why I was a cross dresser or later, transgender.

Thanks (as always) for the input, Connie. 

R.I.P Hef

How many cross dressers and/or transgender women have dreamed of donning the Playboy Bunny ears and fuzzy tails? How many of us have gone to Halloween parties dressed as a Bunny? More than a few, I am sure.

On the passing of Playboy founder Hugh Hefner, it is only fitting to remember the one transgender Playboy model and former "Bond" 007 girl Caroline Cossey:

It's also fitting to note (as Coffey) recently did, that Hefner didn't have to feature her and "did an incredible job for those times."

Playboy was threatened with losing millions in advertising revenue if they went ahead with featuring Cossey but in the end refused to cave in to the pressure and ran the issue anyway!

A true LGBT pioneer...in the flesh.

Transitioning Later in Life

Before we get started on this Cyrsti's Condo post, let me take a second to send my condolences to the victims, families and friends of those affected by the Las Vegas shooting attack by yet another white home grown terrorist. So sad...and tragic...

Oldest known picture!

Joanna sent in a comment on those of us who have/or are thinking of gender transitioning from Mtf later in life. I paraphrase, but she said maybe it is easier.

Before you attack me, I know completing a transgender transition is  never easy, and so many of us wish we had done it earlier in life.

Plus, with each successive year, testosterone ravages our male bodies even more. However, the binary genders tend to merge back towards each other as testosterone decreases naturally in the male. Facial features especially have a tendency to soften over time.

So I don't know. I suppose it's a transition game of opportunity. Or, who can make the best of a bad situation they are in. No matter where you fall in the age spectrum losing a family is a very real possibility. The older you are though, the more entrenched you become with family and very important needed material things like housing and work.

Finally, let's not forget the influence from the overall world around us. I know in my case, for a fact, kids these days pay me almost no attention. And of course, the internet has turned out to be the great equalizer as far as disseminating knowledge/information to the transgender, LGBT, community has gone.

No one (obviously) can really say if transitioning is better - or worse. It depends upon each individual and the situation they are in. So often in our trans tribe, we are so close yet so far apart!
 

We got Trans Female Mail

Thanks to the responses we received here in Cyrsti's Condo concerning recent posts about coming out full time as a transgender woman later in life! The first from Connie as she "passed" along a remembrance of going out driving while cross dressed as a girl late at night when she was quite young:

Early picture when I first started growing my hair out.

1. "I should have added that I'd given up the auto transmission to "drive a stick" at the age of seventeen. After so many years of shifting gears back and forth, though, I finally had to leave it in high gear. Whether I ever got myself into passing gear or not is another question. :-)"
2. And from Marcia:
3. 
   
4. 
   Marcia HamiltonSeptember 30, 2017 at 3:12 PM

   "That's where I am-now or never. 14 months of HRT and on track to be full-time by coming out day next October. I have to get through my divorce and somehow figure out how to preserve my law practice in the meantime. :) Onward!"

Onward indeed! Good karma Marcia, we know it is difficult but all so worth it!

And last (but hopefully not least :), Paula:

Paula GoodwinSeptember 30, 2017 at 5:27 AM

"As with most of us I can't remember a time when my gender wasn't in question, I think I started my transition when I first realized that I was going to be a man and wouldn't just wake up one morning as a girl, or change simply by an act of will. I certainly remember around the age of eleven doing my paper round in a gym slip smuggled into my paper sack and then changing as soon as I found a safe spot.

Strangely looking back I am glad that I did not go full time till I was in my 50s as I have had so many wonderful experiences that simply were not available to women my age."

Well put as always Paula!

Thanks to all you ladies (and Connie).