Pronouns and the Trans Girl

 It does my soul good when I get addressed as "she" or "ladies" when I am with my partner Liz. 

In fact, one of the most difficult challenges I have faced during the pandemic has been the lack of positive feedback from the public. Since last March, we have only been out to eat three times. We have been out a few other times but only for necessities, mainly as we were masked at places like the pharmacy. We even have our groceries brought to us. As I said, it's been tough to experience anyone using pronouns with me at all. 

I finally caved it to pressure and changed my name on "Zoom" to include my preferred pronouns. By "pressure" I mean, I began to see more and more transgender individuals including their pronouns. In one way I don't mind it but in another way, I feel it is just another way to out myself. 

Of course as I always mention, I am fortunate to have had a strong trans affirming circle of friends around me for years. Going back to people like Kim, Nikki and Zena who helped me to learn up close and personal what a femininizing experience meant. It seemed they added the stage and all I had to add was the courage.

Back in those days of reckoning, the last thing I wanted to do was to give my name and add in my preferred pronouns. These days though, it seems the younger generation is cool with sharing their pronouns as a source of pride.'

Which is good with me.

She Said What?

 Last night, being the glutton for punishment I am, I became involved in a rather lengthy discourse with a person on Facebook Messenger. 

Her profile stated she was a lesbian and her picture showed her to be a very butch one at that. 

Very quickly she asked if I was sitting down and told me she was considering a "sex change". About that time I wondered if she had read my profile at all. She asked if I was a lesbian and I said yes, a transgender lesbian who has been living with my lesbian partner for nine years now. 

Then we exchanged pictures and went into the fact she had a doctor's appointment in Denver in a couple days to determine if she could start testosterone patches. Having a mustache was her goal. I replied I have a very close transgender man friend who has attractive facial hair so she should too. 

Surprisingly, the whole conversation went easily until it was time to call it a night and go to sleep. I told her goodnight and turned my phone off. 

The real surprise came this morning came when I turned it back on and read her last message...good night "Buddy". Buddy? Really?

If I ever hear from her again, I will mention how many years it has been since anyone has ever called me Buddy. 

If and when she apologizes I might actually ask her what pronouns she prefers I use. 

I should also learn never to set my expectations too high. At the least though, I received input for another blog post.