Pic Nic Day

Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash

 I didn't think about it immediately but the picnic Liz and I attended yesterday was my first ever as my authentic self.  None of that mattered however, I was just looking to enjoy the day. 

I guess rule one with a picnic is having good weather and we were blessed with a close to perfect mid summer southern Ohio day. Rule two for me is having a place to sit down and eat. It is also important to note the picnic was hosted by the transgender - cross dresser group I am a member of. The majority of people attending I believe were transgender in various stages of transition along with a few spouses and cis women. 

The food was good and even the diverse group of people managed to play well together without any of the "I am more trans than you" rhetoric or any other politics sneaking in. With me others know what side of the political fence I am on and they leave me alone if they wanted to or not. 

It was nice also to see a few acquaintances we haven't seen in awhile and of course look back on a few of the long gone gay venues in Cincinnati we happen to frequent on different occasions. I am not from Cincinnati so my visits were far fewer than others. Plus I had to really try to come up with excuses to use on my wife on why I was spending a night away from home. How I worked it out was my company's headquarters was in Lexington, Kentucky so Cincinnati happened to be about mid point in my trip from home. I only managed to find it and make it there twice. Instead of staying overnight in Lexington, I would stay in Cincinnati.

One of the visits was very memorable. I got all dolled up in my best tight short mini, black top, heels and blond wig and I was ready to go after applying my makeup. From my knowledge of gay male venues I was not expecting much attention but I got a real surprise. Fairly quickly I was attracting quite a bit of attention from a guy at the bar. In a relatively short period of time, he moved over close to me and started a conversation. 

It wasn't too long after that when he started to try to  touch me until this other woman showed up looking for him. Quickly I was thinking now what I did I get myself into. Then he made things worse in my mind when he aaid to her "Why don't you have legs like her (me)!" I just gave her a sign like I give up and walked away and luckily she did also. 

That was my share of picnic topics  while the other person was talking about having sex in cars with other guys. I guarantee our topic was spicier than the food! I can't speak for the rest of the thirty or so people that were there but I imagine their conservations were rated "PG". 

    

Sneaking Out

 These days, thanks to the continuing affects of Covid 19, it seems every night Liz and I decide to go out, it is an adventure. First, we don't get to do it very often and second, we have to make sure we can do it as safely as possible. For example, I can count on one hand the number of times we have been out in the past several months. 

Last night we returned to our favorite Mexican Restaurant for a pitcher of margaritas and a bite to eat. We like the venue too because it has a nice sized patio we can eat on and stay more socially distanced. We managed to stay reasonably away from everyone except the pesky owner who kept drifting past our table.

For the evening which was slightly warm and humid, I chose a black pair of my favorite leggings along with a white tank top along with my lightweight black and white patterned blouse which comes down to my hips. Finishing off the outfit were my black flats. What I am most proud of is being able to go without foundation these days. The most recent picture I have shown you all here in Cyrsti's Condo, is an attempt to show the natural me. With no fancy photo filters and wearing just eye makeup along with lip gloss. Of course, most of the time, I am wearing a face mask so no one would notice anyhow. Back to the evening... 

I was comfortable,  accepted and as always, immensely enjoyed the food and my night out with Liz. 

Rumor has it I might have a birthday coming up relatively soon and Liz along with my daughter may be coming up with a surprise. So who knows? Maybe another evening to sneak out.  

Eat Like a Girl Part 2

Recently I posted here in Cyrsti's Condo concerning eating as a transgender woman and/or cross dresser. As far as I am concerned it is one of the true nuances of crossing the gender frontier. In other words don't sit there and shovel in your food like guys are known to do. I grew up in a small household of my brother, myself and two parents. Eating was very much a competitive sport between my brother. my Dad and I. We had a "Lazy Susan" in the middle of the dining room table. If you are not familiar, a Lazy Susan is a device to put bowls of food on and it turns past each person at the table. At our house, once it went past you, it was probably never coming back with food on it again. If you didn't get your share, you were just out of luck. You see, that is my problem with eating to this day. It is not a competitive sport.

To take a look at a whole other way to eat, let's check in with Connie:

"As far as I know, proper table etiquette does not discriminate between genders. The same rules apply to both men and women (or, I should say, "gentlemen and ladies"). Women may, generally, find adhering to the rules more natural than do men, but a slob can be of either gender (or anybody, at any place along the gender spectrum).

My mother was a stickler for manners, and my brother and I followed proper table etiquette out of fear of condemnation. My father grew up in a military school, and taught my brother and me how to eat "square" when we were very young (fork, level and straight up from plate to mouth-level, then turned toward mouth at 90 degrees, then repeated in reverse to take the fork back to the plate). At least my father stopped short of having us have to eat that way in unison, but we didn't dare ever take another bite until we had swallowed the previous one. I remember the trauma I experienced on my first day of school, when all of the other kids had gone out to the playground after lunch, and I was still in the lunchroom when the bell rang. A teacher had to console me, as I sat there crying. I was so afraid that I could not follow the school rules if I also ate the way I had been taught at home. The other cardinal rule, in those days, was that one eat everything on their plate, and that was what made for my dilemma. I just couldn't do it all!

Anyway, we learn to adapt. I'm not referring only to eating here, as this applies to anyone who is living, and trying to navigate, a transgender existence. Societal rules on gender-shifting may have become more relaxed in recent years, but, let's face it, being an out-trans woman is still seen as breaking a big rule by many people. We can adapt and mitigate through our behavior, though, and proper etiquette can only help to do that. I know that my world became so much better when I stopped being fearful of being seen as "a man in a dress," and began being seen as a good and polite person who just happens to be a trans woman. It's all I can do, even if I can't do it all.

BTW, a good way to practice more-elegant eating is to switch hands. If you're right-handed, hold the fork in your left hand. You'll find yourself being much more mindful of how you're eating, as well as slowing down the process to a less-slovenly level (and, yes, use that fork to eat a pulled pork sandwich!). ;-)"

Thanks for the idea but I am so clumsy, I would be guaranteed to toss food everywhere if I switched hands!