Showing posts with label genders. Show all posts
Showing posts with label genders. Show all posts

Monday, September 24, 2012

From the Inside Out.

Aura and the state of gender has always fascinated me from the first time a person slipped up and called me mam when I was totally not (externally).
All that time, I thought I was doing an incredible job acting as an alpha male.
I'm a believer in the theory we all have a blend of both genders within us. Of course the blend shifts internally on occasion and intuitive people will pick up on it.
Recently, a good friend of mine and I went on one of my favorite tours with her- an historical restoration tour. Yes, I am a geek and I loved it!!!
In order to start the tour, you had to have one of those paper wrist bands similar to the ones you get at clubs or bars to prove you were carded (age).
There was a man passing out the wrist bands. I have written here in Cyrsti's Condo to some extent of my dealings with the male gender, so I was a little tentative as I held out my wrist.
He just gave me a little smile and said "Oh you want me to put it on for you...sure" I wasn't trying to be all girly or anything (I thought it was the way it worked)  but I think it came off that way to him and in return my inner girl responded. It was nice he did it for me.
So often we in transgender community dwell so hard on the external part of our beings, we totally overlook our inner selves.
Take that mirror of yours and look inside for a change!

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

"Jender Jump"

Just when I say I'm against new terms, here's one I've used recently with friends in conversations: "Jender Jump".
Relax , excuse the spelling and all. Also,  I know that some of you question my transgender card for living out what is left of my male life. That's OK, it's your life and that's cool. But:
The use of the term came as we were discussing how we made the journey to where we are today.
"Back in the day" more than once I spent time in both of my genders in one night. I would start as one and visit the remaining friends from my male life, go home and visually change my appearance to match my female self and visit my new female friends. The "Jender Jump" I called it.
She said "wasn't that difficult?". Of course it was and I hated it until it dawned on me "jender jumping" for me was the ultimate determination of how I was to chose how I wanted to live my life.
Regardless of all the endless banter about trans this and trans that the only person I needed to answer to was me. I was lucky to be have the opportunity to do so.
Turns out the "Jender Jump" had some real meaning after all! It's fairly obvious where the "Jump" ended up.

Pain

Image from Tony Frost on UnSplash Looking back, I don't think I write enough about the pain I felt during my life which was closely rela...