Showing posts with label transgender veterans. Show all posts
Showing posts with label transgender veterans. Show all posts

Monday, September 11, 2023

Moving too Fast


Image from UnSplash

There were times during my transition when time moved so slow but then again other times went all too fast.

Most of the slow times involved the periods when I had to wait to cross dress again and again seeking precious small amounts of gender euphoria. I needed them to hold me over until the next time I could stare into the mirror and visualize my feminine self looking back. Improvements at the time were painfully slow. It seemed they only happened to just barely keeping me afloat in life. It turned out to be a decades long project to resurrect my true self which went into forced hiding many years before when I was a misunderstood youth. I was forced by society into being a boy when all I really wanted was to be a girl.

Sometimes I think I was fortunate to have survived the slow times in my life when I was so frustrated with my very limited chance to express myself. The very few chances I had were often dismal failures such as when I talked my fiancé into dressing me head to toe as a cross dressed woman. First of all, I didn't think she did that good of a job and the whole experience came back to haunt me when I entered the military. To satisfy her paranoia about me serving, she told me to tell the draft board I was gay. Nothing wrong with being gay but I wasn't and I was not ready to out myself to the world. So out she went. I was prepared to face a long slow three years in the military (Army) by myself. 

It turned out, the three years I served did go by very fast. I was able to experience different cultures when I was stationed in Thailand and Germany. I was even able to come out of my gender closet very briefly to let a few close friends into who I really was. Ultimately I owe the three years to allowing me to meet my first wife who is the mother of my daughter who accepts me totally and giving me the chance to utilize much needed Veterans Administration health care when my business failed and I needed it most. 

The period of time when I signed up with the VA which entitled me to low cost bi-polar medications  and ultimately my hormone replacement therapy was a blur. Not only was I going through a very dark period of my life when I was losing nearly everything, I was exploring an exciting but terrifying time of life when I seriously began to live finally as my transgender self. Initially I set out to live a isolated self as a novice trans person, it proved impossible. I had always been a social person when I left high school and I found I still craved human interaction. My interactions started innocently enough when I began to be recognized as a regular at several of the venues. From there destiny did the rest. One of the bartenders who always saw me by myself set me up with her Mom who I still know today. Another social contact happened one night when another woman sent me a note down the bar. 

At this time, my life began to speed up, I was learning more and more about what my new life could be like. The women I was with showed me so much and I always say , I owe them so much. Without their input, I would have taken literally years longer to achieve my goals of living as a transgender woman. There were times I thought I was moving too fast but eventually determined the feeling was just because my old male self was being threatened with losing everything he had worked so long to accomplish. 

Very quickly I did catch up and look back at that time of my life as one big blur but the outcome was wonderful. 

On another's nine eleven. Never forget!!!!!

Saturday, June 16, 2018


As my hair appointment grows ever closer and the hotter it gets around here, the more I am thinking about asking my stylist to thin out my hair a little more than I originally thought.

I still know I want her to trim my bangs, so they are actually functional. You can see in this picture from the Cincinnati VA LGBT Pride day, what I mean about my hair and no bangs.  As far as the color goes, Liz is going to help me color it before I go for my appointment.

Coming up on the Pre- Fourth of July weekend,  two parties are coming up we have been invited to, so I definitely want to look my best. My "Stars and Stripes top arrived and it fits, so I know what I have to wear. I haven't seen these friends for awhile, so I think my look may work well! At the least, I can give it my best shot and maybe even get my nails done too.

Wednesday, April 25, 2018

Trans Ohio Symposium

Nothing really earth shattering happening this week as we approach the Trans Ohio Symposium  and my workshop.

As I have related to several times here in Cyrsti's Condo,  I am going to be speaking on "Wall's, Fifty Years" in the closet. My therapist was ultra interested in how I was going to approach it this week during our session. I joked, I was going to wing it but finally told her I had printed former blog posts to refer back to. Much of course is predicated on how many peeps show up, their age mix and how they fall under the transgender - cross dresser umbrella. One of the more difficult things to do too, is to figure how much time should be left for questions and answers.

All I know for sure is, the hour goes ultra fast.

I also found out the lead transgender care person at my Dayton, Ohio Veteran's Administration Campus is going to be doing a lecture also. I am planning on attending to make sure I catch up on any information I didn't know and to just meet her. I think I have but am not positive.

Outside of those two places I know I want to be, the rest of the weekend is set up to be one of fun for Liz and I. She is taking Friday off from her job, so we can get our nails done and hopefully get an early start on what usually is a two hour trip one way.

Finally, I am going to try to archive a couple blog posts for the weekend if I have enough material to attempt to write about!

Friday, December 9, 2016


Just to catch up on things I am not sure I passed along to you all, I received an invite to the Cincinnati Veterans Administration women's Christmas party coming up Wednesday. I have an outfit picked out which I believe is a little dressy without going too far.  The only problem is I have to go by myself because Liz has to work. I'm still a little new to the Cincinnati VA after transferring almost all of my care from the Dayton, Ohio center. The Dayton center is very diverse in it's treatment of the LGBTQ veterans. Of course It will remain to be seen if all of it continues under the new administration.

My fondest hope is I have the opportunity to possibly meet other transgender women vets while I am there!

Results of the 2015 U.S. Transgender Survey are going to be released sometime today. You can pick up a live stream account of it here.

I am sure most of the information will be predictable as far as employment/wages and education are concerned but it will be interesting to me to see if the number of those reporting went up.

Wednesday, May 4, 2016


This week is "poke and prod" week at the Veterans Administration for me so I may not be able to come up up with a couple new posts, so I might dig down in the ol' files and come up with a couple archived posts.

But first, I can't help but mention the political passing of Ted Cruz (although like any villain he never really goes away.) I was really pleased in the morning yesterday when I heard one of his television ads in Cincinnati compare Clinton/Trump to "two peas in a pod" because they "approve men using the women's room." What a jerk, certainly he doesn't really believe his own scary rhetoric, and it turned out maybe "The Donald" didn't either. Trump is probably the most surprised person in his room that he has gotten this far.

And Bobbie just passed this along on Facebook to me that Prez Obama is preparing some sort of anti hate speech. So never a dull moment as they say.

Wednesday, November 11, 2015

Thanks to All Vets!

Active or retired, alive or passed on - it's Veteran's Day and a chance to honor all Vets. This year here in Cyrsti's Condo, I am taking a slightly different approach.  This year there will be no talk of hypocrisy, sweeping equal freedoms or stonewalling. No "I fought for your freedom to deny me mine."

Very simply, thanks to all vets. For the rest of you, install a green porch light and take a second to remember all vets around the world!

Trans Peaks and Valleys

Image from the Jessie Hart Archives. Lifetime as a whole presents us with many peaks and valleys to negotiate. Since I am transgender and al...