Where Have All the Sisters Gone?

A friend who I have mentioned more than once here in Cyrsti's Condo found ourselves in the middle of a pretty interesting chat/question recently concerning the seeming "non availability" of other trans sisters in any segment of the culture.

My friend and I go way back to the early 80's and actually met indirectly through one of the old Tri Ess chapters in Cleveland, Ohio. Through those "get together's" in discreet motels, we came to the conclusion we got to meet and know more people than in the present social media dominated society.

Why? I believe the in culture social stratification between the so called "haves and have not's" is a huge culprit.  Cross Dressers, Transgender folks and Transsexuals all have managed to exclude each other on one level or another.

Identifying transgender as I do, I feel the pressure from both sides. The cross dressers prejudge me as someone who looks down on them and I'm guilty of feeling that way about transsexual women judging me. "Back in the day", the prettier cross dressers did form their own cliques but we were still too naive to know the process would go so far past the immature high school antics. Way past!

Taking the process a step further, it's interesting to me how seemingly rare we are to ourselves. If you take me for an example (again) in the past five plus years of being really out - I have developed friendships with only two other transgender folk, one male, one female. Only 2. I won't bore you with how many different ways I was out looking- just for a friend or two. The positive twist on the story is I found them and they weren't trans.

I've always have been fascinated by the very few CD/TG/TS women I have seen over the years. I'm going to leave trans men out of this for a second. I can go back as far as 20 years in my mind and think maybe 5? Say what you will about maybe I missed more than a couple top notch presenters which is true but how about the girls like me just trying to "learn the ropes" 5?

I left the trans guys out of this for a reason. The reason is where I live these days I am seeing more and more individuals who I could possibly categorize in the trans man status.  But that is an entire other subject for another time. Just don't give me the BS it is easier for a trans guy to negotiate society. The demeanor of the person in with a Mo Hawk haircut in a big loose sweatshirt just didn't seem to indicate that was true.

Finally, I'm not going to be naive here and ignore the sexual component of meeting others in our culture.  For good or bad, sexual questions can be asked, accepted or rejected early in the game with the impact of social media. So those of us who feel that's a none of your business intrusion find our way to the social curb quickly.

So there you go, a few theories of why it's a lonely world in our culture...still.

Here is an example months ago when I saw this question on another site I go to on occasion:  "I want to meet a transgender person" After two months or so, I was one of two replies. I simply said I guessed no one really did. Even if they are transgender themselves.

I am Her, She is Me

Several times recently I have seen a person at a grocery store I go to all the time who I can not read the gender. As true of an androgynous person as I have seen for awhile.
No big deal of course but of course I started to think about how I view the public.
I used to constantly be on the outlook for another cross dresser. Have to tell you, without a lot of luck. Either the girls were very good in public, there weren't very many of them or I wasn't so good. Trans-dar?
How have things changed?
Well, really I don't care as much.
Let me see if I can explain it.
I have an old friend who I have mentioned a couple times who was one of the initial cross dressers I met back in the day when I was opening the closet door. He stayed in the cross dressing closet and of course I didn't.
We were discussing the "validation" part of presenting female. Then as now, having a guy on your arm as a "prop" is a very desirable goal. That's the easy part-in principle.
The "what ifs" come quickly.
What if you present as a reasonably desirable female and the man you are out with turns out to be just a little more than just a prop?  That little good night kiss becomes more than just validation.
At this point, my friend really had no idea of what that would be like and that's fine. He called the experience a morph of sorts and attempted to attach more of a sexual importance to it.
I compared the experience of morphing from a cross dresser to a transgender person with him to falling in love. If it happens-you know it.
I can almost tell you exactly where it happened and I can't remember what happened yesterday.
Finally, let me take it a step farther.
Using this process, I can work through the transsexual morph in my mind.  At whatever point in their life a true transsexual comes to a true realization of who they really are sexually. The transsexual's life becomes so much more complex than mine. TS's need to match the sexual and the mental  in their bodies- the ultimate morph.
By this time you are thinking "Cyrsti" this is all well and good but just where the hell are you going with this?
My point is of course I would notice an occasional cross dresser as would most folks.
It's just now, I feel so at home in the world...maybe I wouldn't?