I am Her, She is Me

Several times recently I have seen a person at a grocery store I go to all the time who I can not read the gender. As true of an androgynous person as I have seen for awhile.
No big deal of course but of course I started to think about how I view the public.
I used to constantly be on the outlook for another cross dresser. Have to tell you, without a lot of luck. Either the girls were very good in public, there weren't very many of them or I wasn't so good. Trans-dar?
How have things changed?
Well, really I don't care as much.
Let me see if I can explain it.
I have an old friend who I have mentioned a couple times who was one of the initial cross dressers I met back in the day when I was opening the closet door. He stayed in the cross dressing closet and of course I didn't.
We were discussing the "validation" part of presenting female. Then as now, having a guy on your arm as a "prop" is a very desirable goal. That's the easy part-in principle.
The "what ifs" come quickly.
What if you present as a reasonably desirable female and the man you are out with turns out to be just a little more than just a prop?  That little good night kiss becomes more than just validation.
At this point, my friend really had no idea of what that would be like and that's fine. He called the experience a morph of sorts and attempted to attach more of a sexual importance to it.
I compared the experience of morphing from a cross dresser to a transgender person with him to falling in love. If it happens-you know it.
I can almost tell you exactly where it happened and I can't remember what happened yesterday.
Finally, let me take it a step farther.
Using this process, I can work through the transsexual morph in my mind.  At whatever point in their life a true transsexual comes to a true realization of who they really are sexually. The transsexual's life becomes so much more complex than mine. TS's need to match the sexual and the mental  in their bodies- the ultimate morph.
By this time you are thinking "Cyrsti" this is all well and good but just where the hell are you going with this?
My point is of course I would notice an occasional cross dresser as would most folks.
It's just now, I feel so at home in the world...maybe I wouldn't?

Comments

Popular Posts