Tuesday, May 31, 2011

It's a Beautiful Life!

Just when I'm ready to go blond or just give up for summer...something or somebody comes along to change everything.
I've told all of you about my on again, off again love affair with my dark wavy hair. I wore it today and all was fairly quiet as I finished my Memorial Day weekend.
A wonderful day it was as a friend touched my soul with his words. Making the evening even more interesting was my new found ability to cross my legs in my short skirt.
The absolute best part was when a woman I have known for years took the time to stop and specifically compliment me on my hair. In "girl speak" she was saying it was my best look ever.
That's two now.... I guess the dark wavy is here to stay!

Monday, May 30, 2011

I Love a Good Horoscope!

Then again,,,I don't believe in a bad one! from "the Frisky".
Libra (September 23- October 22) Don’t hold back and get too controlling about anything right now, as it’s spontaneity and being open-minded that’ll brighten your life now. Yes, slated on your astral agenda this week are romantic scenarios that put you back into the spotlight of your own life. Miracles will appear out of nowhere and love blooms alive. Just one word of caution, don’t ignore reality completely.

Thanks Trans Vets!

It's the day in the USA to honor out vets who gave their all.
From one trans veteran to all of you vets, .maybe someday we will see peace in the world.
To the remainder of you all, I'm sure you know or have a family member who lost their life in one of country's wars or conflicts.
Remember with pride, thank the living and enjoy your day!

Not Paying The Price For Fashion?

In my part of the world,  the majority of women have chosen skin over nylon for their exposed legs.Of course these women have spawned debate after indignant debate in the trans community.Why would they do that?
Some trans girls  wouldn't consider them selves completely dressed without a pair of hose.. Some consider the feel of the nylon too wonderful to miss.
The fact still remains if you are fashionable female under the age of 50 in my part of the world, you do not wear them. Exceptions of course are the women who need to cover up leg imperfections such as varicose veins.
I'm lucky to have the skin and legs to be able to go "bare"
I resisted for the longest time...until last summer.
I was looking for a pair of nude sheer to the waist panty hose for a long slit skirt I was going to wear to dinner.
I was not impressed by the fact I could just not go a big box store and pick up a pair anymore. I could find nothing in my size!  I resorted to the next best thing...a close shave and an application of a skin lotion that promised a "glow".
I have never been able to tan well so I found that a "glowing" freshly shaved leg peeking at a guy from it's thigh high slit was quite adequate fashion wise. An added benefit was being just a bit cooler on a hot summer day.
Sure, if you positively feel you are not properly dressed without hose, I certainly respect you. My Mom and Grandma were certainly in your corner.
If you have the legs and the opportunity to shave them, I highly recommend the "bare legged" look. As a genetic woman would tell you it's a chance to cool off and save some money.  I would add the delicious feel of rubbing your soft smooth legs together is habit forming!

Sunday, May 29, 2011

I Hear It!

Just a whisper comes floating across my room. "It's summer. Go blond and they will come!"
OK, too many movies. I know!!!!
Still, it's inviting.
The problem is a radical hair change destroys the relationship with some I have worked long and hard to perfect.
Explaining new curls in hair  the same color is easy to explain. A total new hair color isn't.
I know you are thinking women do it all the time. The difference is that they normally don't go back quickly to the old color. I might want to.
I have considered doing it and going to some brand new venues and checking the responses.
I will keep you posted!


I felt a little adventurous last night. After all, it was Saturday right in the middle of a holiday weekend.
I 've putting this outfit together for weeks. Mixing and matching with no success until I just happened to find my black "flippy" skirt I loved soooo much!
I wore my off the shoulder top which came about half way down the skirt which came half way up my thigh. The choice of shoes was easy. I have a pair of decorated shiny black flats. The outfit was a mix of black and a olive green in the top and showed adequate skin for the season.
 The big decision was my hair...sexy and wavy or conservative straight with bangs?  I have fallen back in love with the long wavy style you see in the picture at the top of the blog. It is actually cooler than my long straight hair in the summer weather. So, why not? Bring on the curls girl!
Of course this was just the beginning. I was fortunate to have had an early day at work and had time to shave my legs and get ready. No quick shave, make up and out the door.
Decisions, decisions...decisions!
First I added some of the new "bling" I bought at "Charming Charlies" and picked out my black shiny bag that matched my shoes. Fixed my nails, slipped on a few new rings and finally was ready to go!
So...20 minutes later I pulled into a surprisingly busy regular place of mine. It almost seemed surreal. Was it really me walking through the parking lot  into an upscale pub/restaurant (bare shouldered with long flowing black hair) in a short skirt. A group of two men and women were standing by the front door. One of the guys was checking me out from head to long bare legged toe. He started watching me from the time I left my car. Obviously, he was either reading me for what I was...or wasn't.
I used to tighten up or even dodge these situations whenever possible.  But last night I through my shoulders back and slowed my walk down and took my time moving past them.
They didn't say a word I could hear...lol!
As the evening rolled on, the newness of the skirt (of all  things) gave me some problems of sitting and moving. I had to be very careful when leaving the bathroom that the skirt was situated right!!!!!
Speaking of the bathroom, it was very populated last night. Never had to wait in line...but it was close.  I do know I didn't convince all the women I ran into that I was all girl.
For some reason it didn't matter at all. The only thing a few of them had on me is that they were born female. Then were the others!
The women with style. The clothes, the makeup hair and bodies were the ones I wanted to chat with. Ironically, they are the ones who don't seem to notice me at all. I don't get to play in their sandbox!
That's OK though. Those women are and always have been my motivation to be a better girl.
There just has to be a better makeup, hairstyle or outfit that will put me in their league.
Every once in awhile I get a glimpse of how it is to play there.
Settling for just a glimpse is the difficult part!

Friday, May 27, 2011

Couldn't Said It Better!

Maybe I did...kind of...lol!
From "Creative Loafing Atlanta"  Comes a question about picking up a transgendered person.
After a couple stupid stereotypes, words and jokes, the "Sexorist" finally delivered some sound advice:
"First, look your best. You're dealing with somebody who takes extraordinary measures to look like an appealing woman. She is going to expect her men to have some pride in their appearance.
Next, be sure of what you want. If she senses that all you want is a piece of strange with a capital S, she'll most likely send you packing. She's not interested in being somebody's experiment.
You're probably not a little bit nervous meeting her, and you need to get a grip on it. Most likely the nervousness is from those questions banging in your head. As in, "Why am I attracted to T-girls and what does that say about me?" That you're gay? Extremely doubtful.
Most guys into T-girls are straight. That you're twisted? No. There's nothing twisted about being attracted to another human being.
One thing I can tell you for sure: Stop the stare fest. T-girls get stared at a lot — and most of it is not positive. Concentrate on being friendly. Say hello. And for God's sakes, smile. After all, it's the second best thing you can do with your lips.
Establish a pattern. Come in, say hello, SMILE, chat her up. Once it's clear that you've got some kind of connection, make up a nonromantic reason to give her your card ("Oh, I saw something online I thought you'd appreciate. Text me and I'll send you a link.").
From there, it's just a hop, skip and a jump to actually meeting somewhere. Leave your list of questions at home. Talk to her as if you'd talk to any woman, not as if you're conducting an on-the-job interview.
Meet her in a crowded place. It's really important to make her feel safe — by the choice of where you meet, using open body language, not staring, and avoiding any conversation that gives her a twinge that she's dealing with a nut case. It's easy. I do it all the time with my editor.
A couple of things you might want to keep in mind — do not assume she's interested in dating guys. A lot of T-girls don't. Whatever you do, don't be stingy and suggest you split the check. Pick it up. It's a sad fact but the transformation from male to female is not just a sexual reassignment; it's also a socio-economic one. They often break the bank to make themselves whole."
Following the link will lead you to some classic feedback!

House Keeping in the Condo

I have always attempted to find the best blogs to link to.
Some of these links were supposed to be contingent on relinking to me or on content.
I have deleted several that failed on one or both of the criteria.
If you have or know of a great blog to link to...let me know! Please!

Thursday, May 26, 2011


Welcome to several new followers! Thanks for your interest. 
Thanks also to all you long timers.
All of you make this all so worthwhile!

Top 11 Reasons!

From "Betty Confidential" the eleven top reasons why it's awesome being a woman.
When you read them, I think you will believe how true the reasons are!

Wednesday, May 25, 2011


From "Kotako.Com" comes the story about Japanese model "Kayo Satoh"
"Bryan Ashcraft wrote : Kayo Satoh, aka "Kayo Police", is one of Japan's most talented Street Fighter players. She's also a popular fashion model. But she wasn't always a she. Satoh was born a male, something she finally revealed last fall on Japanese TV program Majotachi no 22ji ("Witches' 10pm"). For years, Satoh appeared in women's fashion magazines with none of her fellow models or magazine editors knowing that she had been born a man.
According to Satoh, she began injecting herself with hormones from 15 years-old, something she continues, and besides her injections, she hasn't undergone any surgery. Her blog lists her sex as "female", but in Re-born, she prefers "human".
I really like the "human" description!

It is What it Is!

I overheard this description of me:
"She's a guy who only dates women."
That covers so much ground even I hard a hard time getting my mind around it.
After an hour or so, I did get my mind around it and this is what I came up with.
Obviously, I would have preferred to have never been identified as trans. Once I was, I was referred to as "she".and a "guy" in the space of about four words.
Finally, the comment about women is very outdated and comes from a "bi" woman I was very interested in...two years ago
It is what it is!

Monday, May 23, 2011

The "Eyes" Have it!

Today a guy friend and I  had a great discussion about my weekend. I made a big point of  telling him how much he would have enjoyed the female scenery last night. The topic flowed along until I mentioned the blond who gave me the "you bitch" look.
He asked why and I told him I wasn't sure but I gave it right back to her. Was it my hair, clothes or makeup? Was I a threat somehow? Don't know. Don't care.
I went on to explain the incredible amount of time women communicate with other women just using their eyes. Was this form of communication perfected by the cave girls when they were  picking berries and danger approached? A better explanation is that men just don't listen to women or don't understand what is being said to them  (True) Women have just perfected a gender specific form of communication to function.
By this time, my friend said "I must have missed all of that" and I said he was supposed to and the conversation  moved on. He wouldn't have understood or maybe even cared!
Here's how "eye" see it.
1.-'Amused look.' Normally associated with a guy who is being an idiot. A quick look your way with a "do you believe this attached."
2.-"Maybe look". I might like some of what I'm seeing or hearing check back with me later for the gossip. Another quick glance.
3.-"In love look" Doesn't involve any other person than the one the woman is interested in. No glance at all unless you are the one she is or could be in love with.
4.-"Beware look" A solid quick look that tells you all you need to know about maybe leaving.
5.-"The Bitch look." A stare down with a total stranger that seems like an eternity. The only certainly is that she is treating you like a woman and one she doesn't like!
Of course there are many more "looks".  I can't stress enough how this form of communication has opened my doors for me in the female world.
Yet another gender "dynamic" which is so evident but is not!

No Stana and The World is Still Here!

Overall this weekend went fairly well. After all the world didn't end at 6 Saturday, so all was OK except...I really wanted to meet "Stana" this weekend.  Who is she? "Stana" just could be one of the leading transgendered bloggers anywhere. Her "Femulate" blog is the best and just recently celebrated 2 million hits. Wow!
She lives on the East Coast and travels to my part (Midwest) of the world every so often for a convention.
As luck would have it, I was going to be off the first day only and thought I could make it.
I was as nervous as a teen groupie as I planned what I was going to wear and would I look good enough. I even wondered if I had the courage to even talk to her!
Of course it wasn't going to matter anyway.  A series of misadventures (including a flat tire) and financial set backs doomed be to not being able to go.
I was truly disappointed. I admire her for many things including her outreach work to college students .
Hopefully there will be another time and place. I was trying to get a lot done before the world ended.  It didn't and I have more time!

Sunday, May 22, 2011

I Transitioned?

Last night I transitioned another step. Moving effortlessly through situations I never would have dreamed of doing years ago made me realize how far I've come.
Surviving a group of alcoholic enhanced 20 and 30 somethings as a single woman in a tavern is on the huge "no no" list.
To be able to enjoy it is unthinkable to me and I am so lucky. As I tweeted last night, I even watched the other girls at the bar and copied how they held their beer mugs. I was able to come up with a new "grip" that shows less of a fist and more of a thumb and forefinger hold that shows off my nails and minimizes the size of my hands.
I guess that is another "transition"?
My transition is different anyhow, so why not put that on the list?
No hormones or surgery do create a unique question. Mentally am I training my male body to be female? Am I simply being a better actress to the point of obsession?
I do know I'm becoming less secure in male situations, so I really don't have any answers.
There probably aren't any answers except to do what feels right and good.
Transition is just a word any how. Who needs it?

Whose on the "T"?

I believe it is terstonerone that affects the sex drive in women.
If that was the case, the place I was last night had more than a couple girls who shaved more than their legs before coming out to party.
I'm not a stranger to the fact younger women today are becoming very aggressive. They fight, cuss and chase men with the best of them.
From the dark haired beauty in her little black dress and boots to the three tall blonds that walked in, the show was on.
I know where I fit in the hierarchy.  I just try to sit without being approached, use the women's room when needed and enjoy a couple drinks. To present successfully and enjoy the show is all I ask. My only "success"last night was the "bitch!" look I got from one of the blonds.
The star of last night's show was the dark haired girl in the boots.  She sat down the bar from me with an amazing leg cross. I was so envious of her ability to cross her legs so far up her thighs, I was afraid I was the color of "Kermit the Frog".
Of course in that dress with those legs and those boots she didn't lack for male admirers. It was great. As I moved past them, the guys never gave me a second look...but she did.
Actually, we've spoken there a couple of times. Maybe next time I can ask her if that was her rocking a guy in a car close to me when I left!

Saturday, May 21, 2011

Return to Jerry?

According to "KHOU" in Houston, Texas Nicki Araguz is working on a reality TV show. The transgendered widow of a fallen Wharton, Texas firefighter  is working with a Houston film maker to produce the show.
Currently, Nicki is in court to claim over a half a million dollars of insurance money from her husbands death.
If you remember this is the same Nicki who started her TV career with talk shows such as "Jerry Springer".
As the current story came to light many transgendered organizations and people voiced support for her...including me.
The news about a proposed reality show (if true) proves to me Nicki is the same person who admitted to to performing oral sex on a guy years ago on Springer.
I'm sure I won't be the one to hurt her career on reality TV. I just hope she won't be the one who hurts transgendered causes everywhere.

Thursday, May 19, 2011

We Are Not Ready!

Take a second and try to think of the number one transgendered entertainer in the USA.
Times up..you can't think of one can you? Good Ole macho Uncle Sam hasn't produced any "Harisu's" from Korea or "Dana Internationals" from Israel. I won't even go into transgender stars from Japan and India.
It seems we can't even produce a sitcom (or reproduce) with  good convincing cross dressing actors. A new show called "Work It" is being put together with the good old tried and true idea of men not being able to find jobs as guys and go after employment as women. What a wild and crazy idea!
Sure, the USA has produced notable big screen parts for Jack Lemmon, Tony Curtis and Dustin Hoffman to show off as women. The television has basically  given us guys playing women for laughs. "Milton Berle" and "Flip Wilson" are two that come to mind. We always knew they were taking the dress off when they got off the stage.
If "Work It" casted "Jai Rodriquez" for the starring role instead of an actor who brought back memories of "Tom Hanks" in "Bosom Buddies" there would be no way the show would ever make it. "Hanks" interaction with the public as a girl was humorous. He didn't make a convincing woman.  "Rodriquez" on the other hand does  look convincing as a girl No humor there when a guy hits on him. I suppose the question would be could he "butch" it up enough to handle the male scenes? Would America buy the fact an "out" gay man was playing a married guy who had to go out a get a job as a woman? NOT!
The sad fact is the entertainment industry just reflects "life as it is" for transgendered people.Stay hidden go stealth and you will not see one of us on a weekly television show.
Maybe in the future we will make the huge leap from murderers and thieves to the trans girl or guy next door.
Until that time watch all three episodes of "Work It" before it goes stealth and disappears!

Wednesday, May 18, 2011


This shot is of Jai Rodriquez dressed as "Amanda Knot" in "Harry's Law."
As you can see Jai looks terrific and this not his first time in a dress in front of the cameras.
For a couple more shots follow this link!
The legs and heels are worth it,
Thanks Jen and Tina!!!!

Was It Something I Said?

I normally stay completely to myself. Speak when spoken too. Content with moving through society in my own little stealth mode.
Recently I stepped out of the mode to "help" a couple of 20 something guys with two "can't miss" trivia answers. (Hey 2 out of 20?). The seat I chose next to them was  the only one left and they gave me a long glance as I sat down.
Our unseasonably cold weather was continuing and I was meeting a guy there later so I wore one of my favorite "black" outfits. Black sweater, leather coat and hair accessorized with silver earrings and necklace.
As I caught up on my cell messages, I overheard them agonizing over a question about an old "Wonder Bread" commercial I leaned over and gave them my answer and was ignored and that was fine. After all, ignoring women is an age old male art form, trans or not.
Much later in the same round another question came up in a baseball category. I knew the answer and told one of them what is was. As our eyes locked, I knew it wasn't love or even lust I saw in them but it was way too late to turn back. We went on to have a conversation about the answer. The other guy was civil but I focused on the hostile one. Very quickly a better seat opened in another spot so I moved an took it.
He never had a chance to thank me! lol.
Maybe I was a "radical queer" that night by intruding in his game and forcing him to acknowledge me or he didn't want a woman knowing a little more.
My "date" arrived and we became immersed in learning a little more about each other so the experience faded quickly.
So much for "stealth" and trivia!

Monday, May 16, 2011

Putting A Job Where Your Feelings Are.

The "Meggan Sommerville" and "Hobby Lobby" debacle in Aurora, Illinois started me thinking. Would I hire Meggan now?
For 30 plus years I've been in an industry (retail) in a hiring position. I put myself on a pedestal for hiring a trans woman years ago.
A closer look makes that pedestal look very shaky at times. The woman I hired was actually a great fit for the concept I hired her for. On the other hand I knew I was leaving that store the next week and wouldn't be there for the repercussions. It turned out there were few but life went on. I lost touch with how long the woman lasted there.
How would I react today? It would be tough. To my knowledge the woman was the only trans female I have ever interviewed in my career. If she walked back through my door today would I hire her again. Would I toss my "guy" reputation on the line?
I would but I'm fairly sure the company I work for wouldn't. I can't condemn them completely. They have to make decisions in  a very conservative- economically challenged market. I can tell you if I was in a situation where a very presentable trans woman such as Meggan (judgement from a picture) could fit in I would hire her in a second.  As a hiring manager, three factors would come in to play. Would she upgrade the staff. How much public interaction would occur (constant?) and how would the current staff and my superiors react? The last consideration would be the restroom!
So my pedestal is real but shaky. In addition, I'm very small time.
I do wonder if real human resource people  go through any training concerning the trans community. Without any concrete info, I would assume they do have some sort of rules concerning a person who transitions on the job but don't on hiring decisions.
The real training comes from living life and knowing the trans community for what it is...  Just another group of diverse individuals attempting to live their lives the best they can.
As I prepare to leave more and more of my male self behind, I need to always remember one big thing. The college age person I may happen to interact with may be a human resources person someday.
It's time to switch pedestals and make sure I represent us well!


Meggan Sommerville
From the "WLS" news blog in Chicago: ":A west suburban transgender woman has filed two charges of discrimination with the state against the Aurora arts and crafts store she has worked at for a number of years, stating that management has barred her from using the women's restroom and threatened her with further disciplinary action if she were to use the women's room in the future
Meggan Sommerville of Oswego was born Mark Sommerville,  according to the charges filed in April with the Illinois Department of Human Rights (IDHR).
Sommerville has worked for Hobby Lobby, an arts and crafts supply store, in Aurora "for a number of years," according to her lawyer, Betty Tsamis. In July of 2010, Sommerville began to transition from male to female, the charges state."
The story goes on to point out the Meggan was not allowed to use the women's room at work and even was written up for using the men's at one point. She adjusted by changing her fluid intake at work and was even going across the street to use the woman's bathroom at lunch.
Really? Is something as common and mundane as a bathroom visit causing this woman so much pain? Actually the bathroom is the line in the sand for transphobics around this country. The bathroom issue is just one of the battles in a big war.
The other shame is that "Meggan" can't tell "Hobby Lobby" to go to hell and go out and find a better job. I'm sure she would tell us all it doesn't work that easily for trans women or as a matter of fact for most people in today's economy.
What a brave woman Meggan is for bringing to the spotlight "Hobby Lobby" in Aurora  for such a ridiculous stand.

Sunday, May 15, 2011

Two Queens in a Deck.

Yet another fascinating look into the various subcultures we live with are "Queens dating Queens".
I ran across a interesting article on the subject from "Edge" from Boston.
Sahara Davenport and Manila Luzon 
"In the gay world, drag queens are expected to go out with more masculine-appearing men. But when that expectation is violated, it is sometimes met with derision or surprise. Still, some drag queens are attracted to other drag queens. And these "ki kis" (pronounced kai kai) - defined by Urban Dictionary as drag queens having sex - are often alluded to with an amused or slightly negative tone. "
I too bought into the stereotype. Many years ago my wife had a couple male employees who were beautiful drag queens. At no point in time did they ever indicate they were sexually interested in other than gay guys. At all of the drag shows I have ever been to the queens are always flirting with guys not other queens.
Shame on me! A notable drag couple is pictured above.
Luzon, the wife of "RuPaul’s Drag Race" Season 2’s Davenport, is very committed to her ki ki relationship. "Our relationship is really great because we share a passion for drag, we love being creative together, and we have doubled our wardrobes," said Luzon. "The worst part is that our apartment can become a disaster really easily: rhinestones embedded in the carpet, wigs everywhere, sequins in every nook and cranny. It’s like an episode of ’Hoarders: Drag Edition!’" she said.
Luzon admitted she used to hide all of her wigs, high heels, and sequin dresses in her closet, just in case she decided to bring someone home with her. Five years ago, she met a boy at a bar. They hit it off and began seeing each other. "After a few weeks, we discovered we were both drag queens," said Luzon. "By that time, it was too late. We were hooked on each other!"
As they said. "It's not about the art...it's the sex!"

Another Look!

This is "Dana International" from Israel.

This is "Harisu" a famous transsexual entertainer in Korea.

This me being jealous!!!!!lol

Weekend Update.

Friday was a day off and I spent the whole afternoon getting most of my body ready for summer fashion. I  really wore out some razor blades lol! I have a loose frilly top that shows a lot of shoulder and back skin and the weather was ideal for a skirt.so the legs were a huge priority too. I do the "bare legged" look like most women here.
I was heading downtown for one of the events they host during the summer into the fall.  Restaurants, bars, art galleries and merchants are all at their best for the crowd.
I stopped at one of my regular places on the way  for a couple of drinks.  I do mention on occasion I patronize straight venues with alcohol so I can take nothing for granted.  Public perception and rest room privileges are a constant variable. I really don't have much of a problem but I never really know.
I did have a small hassle that night.  One guy circled me at the bar and asked the bartender loudly "what's up with the hottie at the corner of the bar". As much as I wanted to take it as a compliment, I really couldn't. Then this very drunk guy appeared at the bar and started doing the smirking with some of the other patrons. He kind of went away and I was ready to get going too. Before I left though, the manager stopped by to tell me they were cutting him off and he was sorry! How nice!
The rest of the evening was great fun.
I arrived downtown early enough to dodge the early crowds and get a seat in another one of my regular stops. It was great fun to get a little preferential treatment. I did get a few looks. Some were admiring and no were derogatory. I also made a couple trips to the bathroom and even talked with another of the regulars for the first time before I went out to browse the shops.
The evening finished with my exhilaration of walking in the crowds with my long hair brushing my bare shoulders and back . Combined with my smooth bare legs in the breeze...life was good!
It's no wonder I love being a girl and the early jerks in the evening just faded away.  They probably went home to get that dress out of their closet!

Life is a Bitch!

Then you become one? I know a few of my trans sisters who have achieved that lofty goal.
I don't want to become one though.
Every so often I get frustrated with the number of men who "want to meet me".  I can normally expect a lifespan of a week or two on that comment. I do understand I'm a rather exotic commodity and they fall in "lust" with the fantasy.
The frustration sets in when I consider how easy it really is to meet up with me if you are a local guy or woman. I lead a really active life. I am out there. I'm very adamant in the fact I will not meet someone for the first or even ever in a hotel room. That alone takes many men (married) out of the mix.
I'm sure many of the guys who contact me do want to meet me but just can't for any number of reasons. Again I bring up the wife or what would their buddies think?
Maybe the learning curve should lessen the frustration level. I've always felt my goal was a simple one. I would love a friend to hang out with, do things and enjoy each other. What I found was the number of men who used to dress as women or want to be forced to dress as one.
 I was either too naive or just too ignorant to realize the sheer number of men who walk that path.
It could be I'm simply learning a real female lesson.  A good guy is hard to find and men really do think with the small head.  Surprisingly my life as a guy didn't show me that. Maybe my other head was too small.
Women are right about many things. This is just another that leads to distrust.
Maybe I'm wrong about the guys who just come out and say "meet me in room 235 at 8pm for a night of fun".
They are at least the honest ones.
Then when I say no...maybe I am the bitch!

Pick A Label

From "Salon"  Comes a review of a new book  from Jon-Jon Goulian's memoir "The Man in the Gray Flannel Skirt,"
A couple of excerpts caught my eye, including a dazzling array of labels!  Choose one or two for yourself...or even three.  There are many left for your friends. Goulian writes:
"Whether I like it or not, they'll find just the right label for me -- homosexual, bisexual, transsexual, polysexual, metrosexual, metasexual; autosexual, cryptosexual, crypticsexual, protosexual, extraterrasexual, gender-bender, glam-boy, player, poseur, flaneur, slut, aesthete, dandy, lebenskunstler; lotus-eater; bohemian nymph; bourgeois nymph; bourgeois nymph masquerading as a bohemian nymph! -- and, whether they like it or not, they’re determined to make it stick."
The book is being released in the next couple of days and looks interesting in that Goulian seems to be yet another person who breaks the gender mold. He once worked for an Italian mobster who tagged him as a "half a fag". The mobster knew Goulian was a heterosexual but a very different one and in Goulian's own words... "And as it happens, I do not sleep with men. On the few occasions in my adult life when I have been in the near company of another man's erect penis, my impulse was to flee"
I of course, don't have the patience to read a whole book.  If I did. This could be one. I wonder if Goulian explains all those terms?

Friday, May 13, 2011

From Thailand to India

Look for her on NBC's Thursday Night sitcom "Outsourced". Episodes 121 and 122 to air in April and May 2011.

Ms. Aneesh Sheth is a transgender actress and activist. Born in Pune, India.

And The Winner is!!!

 The final four contestants for the
Miss Thailand 
Beauty Pageant show us once again the most beautiful women in Thailand weren't born that way.!
You may have seen this already. I actually posted this Wednesday but problems with "Blogger" deleted it!

Thursday, May 12, 2011

The Hign Maintnenance Third Gender?

This morning as I got ready for work, I shaved my face and legs.
I would guess that makes me semi unique in society.
The razor is just the start. Last night I bought a new facial scrub and a "healthy glow" tan product for my legs.
Summer has finally arrived in my part of the world, so it's time to get my legs "skirt presentable".
The legs of course go hand in hand with making sure my toe nails look good and are painted and ready for open toed shoes.
Perhaps it is a good thing that my male maintenance is so simple. I can make the extra time for the girl stuff.
Interestingly enough, the "girl work" used to be an exciting labor of love.  Now it's a necessary part of my life.
I'm lucky in that my natural hormone replacement therapy (old age) has done a wonderful job of slowing down my hair growth. I can get away with shaving my legs every two or three days now.
I do enjoy the feel of my legs under my pants at work and the unique "tingle" that lingers from the shave. Sometimes I wonder if my co-workers can see between the gender lines. Probably not.
I do know I put more emphasis on being a girl than some of the females I work with who just happened to be born that way.
I guess what they don't know or are missing won't hurt them!

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Back Again!!!

Hi friends, my on again off again Internet service is back on!
As always, life has continued to move at "warp" speed even if my Internet doesn't.
My "weekend" is over. Monday and Tuesday are basically my days off and I had two fun days. 
I've mentioned before my Tuesday trips to a huge 2 dollar pint night at a nearby sports pub. My Tuesday visit this week was unique in that I was able to find a good seat that allowed me to observe others and enjoy my evening (even watching my favorite baseball team win on one of the big screens). The crowd was young with more females than I have seen for awhile.  Most likely because many of the colleges are starting to finish for the summer.
I felt humbled by all the beautiful young women in the pub and happy I could co-exist without so much a glance.
Towards the end of the evening a glitzy beautiful blond grabbed one of the two rare open seats next to me.  From head to toe she had it all. Great makeup, clothes, jewelry and purse showed she put a lot into her style. I wondered how many of us noticed how she matched a necklace to a purse!
Very shortly, a big muscle bound guy showed up and took the seat between us. For the first ten minutes or so he showed interest in her but then began to get up and spend some time with some other male friends that arrived later. In addition, one of the male bartenders  showed just a little too much interest. She quickly became a little uneasy about the whole situation.
All the years of thinking a "girl's life" was soooo much easier.(I haven't thought that in years) was proven wrong last night. The woman had obviously put a lot of time effort and cash into looking her best. She obviously cared to make the evening a success with the look in her eyes as she looked at him.
Not so easy being a woman!
I "girl talked" the evening with my "BFF" later and told her the story. She was ready to give me the "you'll find out" talk when I turned the tables on her.
I told her I understand more and more her obsession with weight loss and hair and what ever.  If she loses the magic 20 pounds, the sky will open with men knocking at her door.  That of course is an exaggeration but my point is that the woman last night may have thought the same thing.  If her hair was different, if her makeup or clothes were different or if she had bigger boobs...would have the guy paid more attention?
It is no wonder women have the obsessions they do.  My very limited experience with men led me the same direction. Lose the weight, buy the clothes and perfect the makeup and I will be desired for ever!
I have known for years each gender has their own cross to bear. This female cross is huge!!!

Sunday, May 8, 2011

My First Wedding Party!

I found myself on the inside looking in last night when at least fifteen or so "20 somethings" gathered around me ordering drinks after a wedding. I started to feel a little uneasy about my situation and almost decided to leave. I was texting a friend and getting to know him a little better so I thought I would just stay for awhile.
As it turned out, no one seemed to notice or care about me.
I had one girl talk briefly to me. She said I looked beautiful (a true giveaway she knew I was trans) and a couple more who made small talk. One of them was a truly big attractive girl. I always love it when I'm not the biggest woman in the room! We actually met eye to eye in the bathroom as I was coming out of a stall and I had a chance to check out her outfit and style by the bar.
I finished my conversation with my friend on the phone and shortly went on my way.
On the way home I thought how wonderful is it that the younger the population gets, the more it seems to accept us!
The influence of courageous trans teens such as "Katie" is enormous. When someone gets to know us as a human, we aren't so bad!
Certainly this cup is half empty or half full. The young trans girl who was humiliated and beaten up at a McDonald's was certainly ugly and hopefully will fuel public indignation.
My own cup was certainly half full last night as I had barely a glance in crowded situations. I knew and they knew I was female in their eyes. Better yet were the ones who weren't sure and didn't care.

Saturday, May 7, 2011

Is "Katie" the Future?

This is "Katie" on the left trying on a bracelet with her mother. As you probably guessed since I'm blogging about her, Katie used to be "Luke".From the "Tulsa World" comes Katie's story..
Katie grew up with three other brothers and a Marine officer Dad.
Here's an excerpt from the story that just blew me away! Just in time for Mother's Day.
Mom..."I was expecting (Luke) to sit me down and say, 'Mom, I'm gay,' "
Jazzlyn recalled.
Instead, at age 15, Luke told her: "I'm not gay, Mom. I'm transgender."
Her reaction: "A trans-what? I had prepared myself for 13, 14 years
that my son was gay. And now I'm thinking, 'Rocky Horror Picture

They cried.

Jazzlyn's heart ached for her child. She knew this would be a
difficult path in life. But she was worried that Luke might kill
himself otherwise.
So she did what moms do when they see that the child they love is
hurting: They fix it.
"What do you want me to do?" she asked her son.
I want to go shopping. I want to buy a bra. I want to get my ears
pierced and grow my hair out. I'm not a boy. I'm a girl in a boy's
body, he told her.
"If that's what you honestly feel like, I'll stand behind you,"
Jazzlyn said. "You've just got to give me time."

If I would have said anything similar to that to my Mom...her recommendation would have been the same as when I did try to "come out" to her.  Get a shrink and get rid of it!
So as Mother's Day approaches, I hope Katie's Mom is the future. If not, then she at the least is a great example of a loving caring Mother on their day!

Friday, May 6, 2011

Classic "Candy"

Could not resist passing along another  "Candy Darling" pix.
 For those of you who remember "Kim Novak", she was one of Candy Darling's idols and for good reason! She was another of the "blond bombshells"of the 50's.

"Normal" Ohio.

I'm sure you all have been to your "Normal". If you live there long enough, you begin to feel very comfortable.
 The sun rises and sets exactly the same on your " Normal" as others.
My "Normal" is gaining population. For whatever reason some people want in. I am very comfortable here and learning more about living here. Many are curious. Many just want to see what all the fuss is about.
On occasion, I wonder if I am too comfortable. Will I be too complacent and open myself for some unexpected problem?  Outsiders passing through and looking into "normal" may not appreciate it's population.
It takes us all a lifetime to build our "Normal". On occasion, the "Normal" you see is a mirage. The "All American" church going neighbors are really swingers? Really?
Maybe that is part of the reason my "Normal" looks good to a few outsiders. It has become very ironic that a lifestyle that started as a gender masquerade, has become such an exercise in reality.
Agree or not agreeing  with my life is fine. Agreeing with my right to do it and having the courage to do it makes the "Welcome to Normal" sign look really good to some. The rest? Time will tell.

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Candy Anyone?

"Candy Darling  and Jeremiah Newton"
Photo by Francis Ng.

A new documentary film on the life of the "Warhol" superstar "Candy Darling" is being released.
Unfortunately in my conservative part of the world, I don't see any locations listed.
Nearby Columbus was a little of a surprise. With a large gay community and the former host to a fabulous "Warhol" exhibit, I thought there might be a chance!

Famous or Infamous?

I have related the story in the past about the one bartender who said (as I tried to introduce myself) everyone knew me "I was famous:." It could be I'm "infamous?" I really hope not.
The only reality is that my little "network" I have tried so hard to maintain over the years works well... thank goodness.
I took advantage of the unseasonably cool weather recently and wore one of my long soft sweater coats.  It drops to mid thigh and ties off at the waist providing a distinct waistline. I love the outfit with jeans and flats and a tight "T" top which accentuates the chest. Can't remember having more confidence recently as a girl.
All of that was very satisfying, but the fun part was when one of the women who was moved from server to the bar waited on me and said "Are you Cyrsti?" She was perfectly delightful and wonderfully friendly and beautiful.  She really made the evening fun!
I always wonder what the guys at the bar think when they see us in a animated conversation? Does it validate me further? Certainly it makes me safer in the situation I'm in.
One fact is certain. Dividends were paid that night and were reflected on her tip!

Happy "Cinco de Mayo"!

From the "Dallas Observer"
Have a great "Cinco"!
Stay out of that tequila girl!

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Give Me A Head With Hair!

Men want it when it goes. Men like the sensual look and feel of it on women..
Women spend excessive time and expense to coerce it.
What is the name of this human obsession? Hair!
In many cases we are stereotyped by it. The big bald man with tattoos  is perceived as vastly different than the black man with dreadlocks.
Women are ruled by the age/length hair stereotype.  Maybe the biological clock in women dictates the shortening of the hair as the years progress.
I'm tall so the rules dictate I'm "allowed" to go long with my hair. I'm "more mature" so I'm  not allowed too.
The erotic feel of the hair is wonderful and the effect is good.  I have no visible "Adam's Apple" because my neck is short and thicker. The longer hair and a "v neckline" give me the effect of a longer look which I need. The problem is  the less than realistic "wiggy" look. We have all seen the woman whose long beautiful hair does not quite match the rest of her. Her hair screams "wig"! I've actually seen two trans sisters in public situations whose hair gave them away.
I've said many times I rely upon the mirror and finally the public on how I present. Failure was never an option. Recently though, failure is tragedy.
I can always work with my clothes and I need to work with my makeup to keep my feminine life in balance. Hair seems to make it all happen or not. Maybe I'm not so different from my sisters who spend time and dollars on their hair constantly. Not so different at all!


What a great day Monday yesterday turned out of be!
Amazingly, the summer dress in the size I was looking for was still on the rack and it fit! (Down a full size!)
Just had to have a new spring bag I saw and a new bracelet of course.
The dress is very light and flowy and will be a godsend on a hot summer day with bare legs and "peekaboo" heels.
I went back to my straight hair style and had absolutely no problems with the public. A good thing in the short term but the people that read me in the curls will always remember me being trans. I always prefer an even shot when I enter a situation. I'm not naive enough to think everyone will think I'm female but I will take every break I can get!
I even made it through a situation later in the evening I hate to be in. I was stuck near a couple people I have known for years. They never gave me a second look but it would be another complication in my life I don't need if they did!
So all in all a fun Monday!

Monday, May 2, 2011

"Diva Dirt"! Transsexual World Champion!

I positively love this!!!!
‘The Bloodthirsty Vixen’ Amanda
A foxy women's wrestler who just happens to be transsexual and a world champion just gives me the warm and fuzzies!
Although I can't prove it, she looks like a trans wrestler named "Mariah" who I did a piece on here.
Here's the link from a site called "Diva Dirt... The Women's Wrestling Bible"
Now that's what I call classic women's literature!!!!
Quoting the title from the old "Confederate Railroad" tune "I like my women a little on the trashy side". Even if she is me!!!!!

Transgendered and Homophobic?

Last December I wrote this for my blog on the "PINKessence" . The subject had pretty much passed on in my mind until a couple days ago. 
A new "Pink" member zeroed in on the post and commented.  All of a sudden comments started to fly and it went to number 2 as the most popular post.
Here it is again.
So many of the transgendered girls I know are so anti male.
It is very easy to compare the trans girls distrust and dislike of the male gender to other people's dislike of the trans and or gay culture.
Time and time again "No Men" pops up in profile after profile.
Explanations are as shallow on one side of the fence as the other. From religion to
sexual distrust, we hear it all as a transgendered person.
Personally, I believe I've been sent to hell more than once for just
wanting to live as a female.
But you know, the mistrust and bigotry just doesn't come from males. So why should I or others be homophobic if a guy shows interest in us?
Is the old "guys are looking for only one thing" excuse valid. Maybe as valid as all the gay stereotypes?
It's no wonder that so many transsexuals go "stealth" and simply disappear into society. They escaped all the hypocrisy of our homophobic society. Maybe your next door neighbor lady
wasn't always a "lady" and happened to shed the "no man" label when she
found a good one?
No men or no gays can sound very similar.
Excluding men because of gender is as bad as excluding the "T" part of LBGT. No part of being homophobic helps you as a smart. attractive female...trans or genetic.