Showing posts with label Army. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Army. Show all posts

Saturday, February 17, 2024

Following the Path

 

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Jessie Hart
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The path I followed as I chased my gender truth at times turned out to be very difficult. 

It all started with having a very unaccepting family environment and continued from there. Similar to so many of you, I needed to wait for just the right time to pull out my small stash of girls clothes and cross dress. Because of that my available times to dress up and do my best to follow my new path were few and far between. Plus, the signs I desperately were looking for were distant and difficult to read. When I came to gender cross roads, I was having a hard time figuring out which one to follow. 

This was all happening during my pre teen years so I was confused enough about my life to start with. On top of the usual questions kids had growing up, I had added problems wondering what gender I was, all the way to my sexuality. I felt as if I was attracted to girls during puberty but the how I was attracted became the problem. I was facing the sexuality issue of desiring women because I wanted to have sex with them when all I really wanted was to be them. To make matters worse, I was extremely shy around people I didn't know. Especially girls. None of it was making my path any easer to follow.

To make matters worse, when I was in high school, the political powers to be decided to dramatically expand the United States presence in Southeast Asia or the Vietnam War in particular. On top of all my other worries I needed to add possibly being drafted to serve in the military. Not a good feeling to carry with me all those years. How could I possibly serve if I didn't want to be a man at all. It turned out, I didn't have the choice after I stayed in college for four years, I was drafted anyhow and my path became very clouded. 

The best I could, I went down my path adding three years in the Army to my life experiences. At the least, I had more knowledge of the world to base my gender decisions off of. Or, at least I thought so. Not long after I was discharged from the military, I went through the life altering experience of having witnessed the birth of my first and only child, a daughter who turned out to be my biggest supporter to this day.

As I was building a rather successful life as a man, I also began to explore other cross roads on my gender path. Possibly the biggest one was when I started to think of myself as more than just a casual cross dresser and more of the newly minted transgender individual. Most certainly just thinking I was trans rather than a guy in a dress petrified me. To make up for all my gender fears, I did my best to hide my true authentic self from the world. When I did, I kept hitting more and more dead ends on my path. 

Years later, as I was stumbling along attempting to find my way, I sustained so many bumps and bruises I could take it no longer. I made the effort to see a doctor and be approved for HRT and all of a sudden my path became more of a highway to my future. I guess it was more like an interstate as I was able to easily pass more and more milestones on my journey. 

It certainly took me long enough to get to my destination but once I did, it was all worth it.


Tuesday, October 13, 2020

A Busy Morning on the Computer

 Thanks to the virus, almost all of my interaction these days comes through my Cyrstih@yahoo.com email plus comments here to the blog or on Facebook. 

This morning I received a couple of pleasant surprises. The biggest one was finding out I was one of the nominee's for the Greater Dayton Rainbow Alliance veterans awards. Needless to say I was humbled and flattered. Along the way too, I had to reach way back in my rusty noggin to remember some of the service details they asked for. I had to pull back facts from the 1972-1975 days I was in the Army during the Vietnam War. The organization wanted to know such things as awards I received, rank etc. I knew I had four award medals to wear on my uniform but I even had to Google Viet era military medals to see what they were called. Bottom line was with a little help from Google, I was able to shake off the dust and answer the questions. 

The other significant happening this morning was when I was confirmed for a virtual conference on LGBTQ aging later on in October in close by Dayton, Ohio. I even will receive a small book for going. Of course I will pass along any relevant details to all of you!

Finally, of less significance but no less importance is the school group (10th grade) which is forming a LGBTQ group. They have asked for outside help and I responded. Now the big question is, will there be school at all due to rising virus case concerns. Or, will it all go on line. The good news is that so far my advanced age hasn't scared them off. 

I can only say, now I need a nap!

When We were Against the Law

  Phil Donohue on left with singer (male)  Grae Phillips. I am old enough to remember the days in Dayton, Ohio when transvestites and or cro...