OMG! Low "E" in Men?

I believe one of the fasted growing "feel good" medical fields is the treatment of low "T" (testosterone) in men. Everyday on any given number of radio stations I listen to, I hear the plea to "get your number checked" - your "T" number.  Similar to genetic women in the menopause years it seems men lose their "T" along with their virility.

I have written here in Cyrsti's Condo about secretly desiring to have my "T" checked and when the number comes back as very low, start celebrating and run out of the office.

It turns out now, the same insecurities men carry about being effeminate may come back to haunt them again. Read this from the Associated Press:

"TV ads tout testosterone treatments for "low T," but surprising new research shows a different hormone may play a role in less sex drive and more fat as men age. Estrogen — the female hormone — is needed by men, too, and the study gives the first clear evidence that too little of it can cause certain "male menopause" symptoms."

Can you imagine sitting in the "T" clinic and getting your scripts to be all manly and virile again and as you are leaving someone calmly also gives you a script for estrogen?

Is there a conflict of interest there?  Me thinks the idea will not be discussed with the boys over beer and wings. Yep, the same ones who are afraid of the "side effects" of developing breasts when their wife offers them a Midol for pain.

Just a thought!

Estrogen "Contact High"

After my trip to the hair salon today I believe I can skip a couple days of my estrogen dosage.

There was so much estrogen in the air just breathing it gave me an "Estro contact high"

Today's appointment was thoroughly enjoyable until the very end - when I saw the results.

As you can tell from the smile which is not on my face, I wasn't particularly happy with the result from my replacement stylist.

I guess I have now reached the level of a great majority of genetic women I knew over the years who disliked the results from most of their salon visits intensely.

Perhaps I can compare today's experience to the classic country song "Did I Shave my Legs for This?" Today I paid how much for what?

Phillip Porter and the Privilege Game

I just saw this story this morning (Sat) and assuming it's all true, Phillip Porter may have played one of the most classic privilege shell games ever.

The headlines just scream attention: "Phillip Porter former Transgender Woman and NFL Cheerleader". Phillip just happened to also mention he was a topless dancer too. So if you consider living a glamorous public life as a beautiful woman as "privilege" he had it all.

Why the change? Phil's self proclaimed "mid life crisis". As all genetic women know, at a certain point NFL Cheerleader looks will fall behind and menopause moves into the lead - and as you guessed, Phil decided he probably didn't want any of the hot flashes and fun effects of being a mid life woman.

No gold stars are given out here kids. I'm guessing Phil jumped from a very bleak male privilege situation while the getting was good (and doable evidently) into the female situation and when the going looked to be rough jumped back.

Why? Because he could I guess and I'm fairly sure there are a number of us who would take the easy way out and do the same thing. Let me pull out my SheZow ring and say the magic phrase and I'm a girl until the fun stops and then i'm a guy.
I think the cheer leading photos of Phil's will be interesting when they appear. If they do because of NFL copyrights.  So far I have only been able to find this video and article on the Huffington Post Gay Voices. for you to see.

Who knows, the story could be as interesting as Phil dancing topless?

Ownership at what Cost?

Doesn't matter if you identify as a cross dresser, transgender or transsexual woman or man, owning who we are is expensive.  From the youngest transsexual child who can afford the therapy and medical help,  to the person who comes out trans later in life the physical costs can even outweigh the mental costs- on paper.

Examples? What's a sexual realignment surgery costing these days with or without facial feminization costs? Plus the lifetime worth of drugs you need to begin/continue the process of syncing up your inner and exterior genders. If you are fortunate enough for the process to work at all.

The number of options in our trans culture are countless yet so unreachable for so many of us.  I have said it before of my respect for those of you who stay deep in the closet for the benefit of family or work or both.  I'm the first to admit I was there and tried to it and in the end just couldn't.

So are the non calculable mental costs potentially greater that the psychical ones? Who knows. Personally, yes-there is no way to put a cost on the days of my lack of productivity as I fought my inner gender battles. I know I'm speaking to the choir here, the process is similar to living two lives in two dimensions simultaneously.

Out of necessity and/or choice my investments have been mainly internal. I have purchased ownership of all of me and my closest friends have told me they can see it. Forget the cost of HRT. At the end of the day, my biggest costs have been the mental ones.  It turns out, they were wise investments. Now, before you are diving into your purses for a calculator, consider this:

If  you are putting a dollar amount on your transition and expect your money to buy gender happiness-I'm thinking "it ain't happenin' babes". Then again it's only money right?

Welcome to my World.

I used to hear it from genetic women a lot. I certainly understand why I did and I think I understand why I'm not so much anymore.

Perhaps you have heard me refer to the transgender learning experience as "playing in the girls sandbox". Until you climb in, you really don't know how the process works. The only certainty is the lessons come at you fast.

Women of course wonder what the hell you are doing in the sandbox at all?  Are you creepy, are you serious and/or are you sane. If you aren't creepy, are serious and reasonably sane (me) then you are allowed into the mix. Of course you will get get sand kicked in your face until you find which group of women you can bond with.

You know how guys bond with sports, business success or cars and women bond with- well - being women. Relationships, kids, husbands, boyfriends, girlfriends and men at large form the bond. Early in the process I learned I needed to bring my personal past into play.  When I was asked did I have any kids, I simply said yes but I never needed to say I birthed her. Also, I'm fairly sure all of my close women friends know I'm a widow and I was married to a woman for over 25 years. For the longest time, that was a "need to know" fact which I didn't toss around easily.  The bottom line was though, I became a real person.  So what if I was transgender, I didn't B.S. anyone and to the best of my ability  I was good people. Quickly it seemed I was making the leap from "welcome to my world" to "where have you been?"

For all of you who are still fixated on appearance getting you a spot in the sandbox, I can't say enough if you are blessed with a good head of hair, go with it! Hair is such a huge selling point to presenting as a woman and the girl stuff like clothes, hair and makeup are just fun play toys. Older genetic women just don't understand and I don't want to be a geek and tell them I still am like a teen aged girl in a makeup or clothing store! In fact it's times like that I want to say "Welcome to MY trans World". It's a blessing from somewhere to be transgender and living like I am.  Thanks "Mother Karma" I love my spot in the "box".

Mean Girls On Oprah

I don't follow Oprah's OWN television network much and believe they must struggle for programming when they run re runs of Dr. Phil. Look I know Phil has been "her boy" from the beginning but his show has to be singled out as the most non diverse on television. But I digress.

Last night's show caught my attention:

"Oprah's Lifeclass (Season 2),  Oprah and Iyanla Vanzant discussed the Terrible Things Women Do to Each Other. More specifically they discussed why women do terrible things to one another. They identified the intention behind gossip and ways women can shift their behavior to create more positive, constructive interactions."

Of course I have discussed the dynamics of inter feminine interaction with you here in Cyrsti's Condo any number of times so I really wanted to hear their take on it. Iyanla had the best quote when she said:  "Comparison is an act of violence against yourself." The quote was used in context with the endless comparisons women use among themselves, primarily in appearance, family, spouses etc.

I wish I could come up with an epiphany or two from the show to pass along except Oprah and Iyanla seemed to believe the whole situation was getting worse with mean girls popping up now between the ages of eight to eighty.

From my gender perch on the fence, I see my spot as a transgender woman a true positive. I'm in on the "battles" but then again not. Having said that, I have told you about times I have been burnt by not keeping a closer eye on the women around me.

Perhaps I'm fortunate and don't have to play the comparison game with genetic women. I'm much more into the interaction process since it is still so new to me.

Finally, the bits and pieces of male thought processes I bring to the table should and does give me an advantage.  Sixty plus years of playing this back and forth transgender ping pong game has taught me something.

The only epiphanies I can pass along are be careful of finding yourself in a mean girl battle and being curled up with my chocolate/peanut butter cup ice cream was wonderful.

Follow the link above for more information of where and when you can see the show.

The Top Drag Queen in History!

I was watching the classic Seven Year Itch movie last night and realized I was watching one of the great drag queens of all time, Marilyn Monroe-of course!   Yes silly's I know (or think I do MM was genetic) But where was it written that drag queens have to be men?

Of course I am not the first to push this idea of the over the top female movie stars such as Marilyn being the ultimate drag queens- in that they represented a totally unachievable level of femininity to the greatest majority of genetic women.

Just between you and me though, I'm still jealous of the famous scene of Marilyn's iconic white dress being blown up over the subway grate in the sidewalk! Shown on your left.

Let's not forget to mention one of the female impersonators (Jimmie James) who used MM to build his career. Here he is on a 1987 Phil Donahue show on the Cyrsti's Condo big screen:

The Sandbox or the Sorority?

As I started to think over the Sand Bully post I did yesterday, I decided to expand a bit- or quite a bit!

Over the years I have happened across more than a couple rather misguided souls who still believe women are the kinder and gentler gender. There are definite reasons nature has picked the female to have children and raise families while holding a job or 14 other things. Women simply have to be tough and have better handle on the overall dynamics of the world.  They have to. No real compliment girls, just reality. It's no joke entering the gender world of less pay and respect just to name a few.

Those who think different are usually  new or closeted cross dressers who don't have much experience in the girl's "sandbox". That's all good. No value judgement-just opinion. Plus, if it makes you feel better,  you may find the term "sorority" more to your liking- but the end result is still the same.

In order to play of course, you have to be admitted. For the sake of simplicity (like my mind) I have broken the membership committee into three sets of genetic women.

1.- "The cool girls".  OK, get ready for my big stereotype- cheerleaders.  If you have an "A" game to submit to this group, make sure your makeup is perfect and look for "mean girls" lurking behind big shiny smiles. Before you think I'm being a total bitch, I have seen a form of the "cool girls" in one of my old cross dressing groups years ago.  If your "looks" were to a certain standard-you too could be welcomed into the sorority. Really? Oh well, so much for not being a total bitch.

2.- "The real girls".  This group's admittance policy is fairly easy.  Be a real person, with a sense of humor, a need to learn and no sexual agenda. Well, maybe not so easy but doable. As we all know women possess advanced B.S. detectors. While you may never be totally accepted as a genetic female you very definitely can be accepted as a transgender woman. Your bit of difference can add a little spice to their world because normally your approach to femininity is just off a tad from theirs.  With the right sense of humor, this becomes a very fun part of acceptance. If I had a dollar for every time I was told "welcome to our world" I would be down at the corner plastic surgeon guy getting a boob job to show off in a very low cut top! Plus at the same time, if you just sit back and observe- this group will teach you most everything you need to know on how to socialize yourself as a woman. Not the easiest group to casually find your way into but once you do, a very easy group to stay and grow with! Even as their token trans girl!

Finally, I shouldn't have to mention this but if you are thinking about going into to any of this with a sexual agenda...DON'T.  Nothing says "Wolfe in sheep's clothing" quicker to women and you will be perceived as just a guy in a dress trying to intrude.

3.- "The Do Not Enter Girls". Simple deal with this group. For social, religious or whatever reasons they in no way support your transgender existence. I call them "The who the hell needs them group". They could just be "haters", been kicked out of groups one and two or just can't wrap their minds mentally around a transgender person. One thing is for certain, you don't want to run into this group in a restroom situation.

Well, there you go. I really don't want to get into the finer points of getting ambushed by passive aggressive female behavior or a a few of he nuances of communication in this post.

Just be careful when you jump into the sandbox when the claws come out. Then again survival lessons are valuable when you are dealing with the "kinder and gentler" gender on their turf-or sand.

Adolescent Rodeo Clown

Last night I was slaving away over my book and I thought  this experience was good enough to pass along here in Cyrsti's Condo. In fact the whole experience was a great lesson of not passing. Simply put, I was barely out of the closet in my early 30's and going through my cross dressing "adolescence" with a passion:

"Unless you happen to be a young cross dresser going through the pains of puberty, my best advice is don’t act like you are. Time and time again I will tell you not to be the big guy in the mall squeezed into a tiny mini, tall heels and big hair. Sure I tried it too and yes it was totally ill advised. Wait, no one did advise me. I screwed this up all by myself. To add insult to just being dumb, I didn't need no "stinkin mall" and just took off out of my house- on a busy street flaunting my latest attempt to be sexy.

If you are “mature” enough, you will remember the “Urban Cowboy” movie and the resultant cowgirl fashion craze Short jean shorts, boots and blouses tied off at the waist was the basic look. So, who was I not to follow the current fashion craze?

Being the fashionista clothing designer I am, I took a pair of my women’s jeans and cut off the legs-really short- butt cheek short. Hey, I was just following a not so smart but all so common cross dressing fashion disaster. Sexy for many women, stupid for me.

I was certainly working on another “can’t miss, guaranteed way to get busted as a man dressed as a woman” fashion mistake! There was a reason for the madness. Not a good one. But a reason.

Most men have a good looking pair of women’s legs. I was no different. Many of my first compliments dressed as a woman at Halloween parties was wow! you have great legs. But when you put the comment into the context it was intended, it comes off something like this: “You do have great legs for a guy dressing as a woman” and oh gee those wonderful legs of your happen to be attached to those big feet, no hips and big shoulders. All we know is our male egos are just going nuts with the praise and if a little leg is good- certainly more leg is better!

If I knew then what I know now, I may have had a chance of not being a rodeo clown in drag by following a few relatively simple steps. A pair of reasonable length boots and a tad longer pair of cut off shorts would have broken the sight pattern from my hips to my feet. A longer short would have also given me a chance to work in the illusion of hips with a couple pieces of foam rubber padding. If I was skillful enough to do all of that, then maybe I could have loosely tied off a shirt at my waist.

Here is the mistake I made with the shirt tail idea. To be semi convincing your hips should roughly equal the span of your shoulders. I thought I was emphasizing a narrower waist when in reality I was not hiding the considerable size of my upper torso. Bottom line was I just didn't have the body to even give the illusion of being able to wear that sort of outfit. There were plenty of genetic women who didn't either and they were smart enough to not try.

The moral to the story is all of us go through this to some extent-even genetic women.  I hear from so many cross dressers or transgender women who bemoan their looks and say I can't get any better. Just remember, can't is a powerful word. Use it and you will be right- it can't happen.

Long Cool Organic Woman

The other day here in Cyrsti's Condo, I mentioned my fascination with style and the genetic woman and how it carries over into my transgender world.

I see style (no pun intended) as bits and pieces of reality- clothes, shoes etc assembled in a process dominated by the senses.

A couple recent examples I can think of were my meeting with Stana of Femulate and a woman I saw on my book store trip the other day.  Stana is what I refer to as a "niner". She dresses to the nines. From head to toe she has in her mind what she wants to look like, acquires the items to do and does it well!  The other example was a woman going through a parking lot headed for a small group of three or four stores. I will call her the ultimate "organic woman". Tall and slim, she was wearing what appeared to be a long cotton skirt, short sleeved top and a woven sash around her waste with sandals-of course. Just for kicks and giggles, I waited a second to see if she was going into one of the stores which happened to be an organic food store. Of course she was!

From the closeted cross dresser to SRS transsexual, we certainly have done battles with the style "demons". I could start another blog with mine and in fact recently did battle with my makeup demons. As you remember.

It is easy to say we didn't have the benefit of moms, sisters or girlfriends to play with our style during our lives and it used to be you couldn't even begin to purchase any stylish clothes in larger feminine sizes. Today we have the benefit of so many on line style sites which can help us to close the style gap and needless to say there are many clothing store options in all price ranges to do it.

You must be patient though.  One word of advice is to observe women in your age bracket. Remember the "over done" and the "under done" and put yourself in the middle. BUT specifically remember the the pleasant ones who are put together just right. Dressing to the nines can indeed be a jeans inspired outfit.

More than likely if you don't become the ugly cross dresser at the mall stereo type (big blond wig and tiny mini with 4 inch heels), you will be fine.  In my case it seems the whole world notices I'm trans someday's and other times no one.

Here's the fun part:  Being a girl allows you to experiment and change your look with the seasons. Who knows? Maybe the next time I see "organic woman" she will be tripping the light fantastic in her four inch heels?

Finally, a few basics.  Sit down and listen to your inner feminine soul and visualize how she wants to be presented. Remember, there will be tons of trial and error along the way. Don't get discouraged. As a genetic woman would tell you "welcome to our world". And the biggest one of all: own who you are and how you look-the world will notice.

Cross Dressing Geometry

Two hundred ninety years ago when I was in high school working very hard not to flunk geometry, I thought  just what the hell would I use it for anyhow? My Dad pointed out some sort of geometric knowledge of angles may work to improve my worse than terrible pool game.  I hated pool and still didn't care. I was motivated somewhat by my Mom who said flunk it and goodbye college and hello Army. So I managed a C-.

Years later, I finally found a use for geometry in....body styles and fashion! I may have paid more attention in class if someone had explained my body was the "inverted triangle" type and to shop accordingly as a girl.

We have discussed the inverted triangle here in Cyrsti's Condo. The majority of transgender women and cross dressers probably have this body shape.

To refresh all of you who have short memory spans like me, here's a definition from my new fave fashion site "Fabulous After 40" :

"If your body resembles an inverted-triangle it means you have broad shoulders, narrow hips, an undefined waist and a large bust in proportion to the rest of your body. You kind of always look like you are wearing shoulder pads when you are not , or a better way to say it is you have a swimmer’s shape."

For more really great hints to put your best girl-self forward, go here and in the meantime we will finish up with this great tip from the "Fab" :

"As I (Deborah) mentioned earlier a gal with this figure type has a large bust in proportion to the rest of her body. While that’s pretty sexy when you’re young, after 40 when everything starts to sag and bulk up you can look really top heavy and matronly. So my tip to you get a great bra that hikes your breasts up and off your tummy. Your bust should sit halfway between your shoulders and your elbow. The perkier you look, the more youthful you will look."

Great stuff...right? All you "Dolly Parton" wannabe's still have a shot if you do it right!

Please don't stare in the mirror and hate yourself and definitely,  do not be a victim and think you can't improve your feminine image! Remember sites such "Fabulous After 40" can help you dramatically... if you adapt their knowledge to yourself.

 I'm very sure they have no idea their knowledge speaks to the very core of who we are and how we are struggling to present ourselves to the world. But then again our fashion goals are the same as any other genetic woman.

More than likely those stylish women you admire so much are have already read and benefited from this information! Now where's that damn geometry book. I'm sure I can raise my grade to a "C"!

"Big Girl" Fashion

By now you have seen me mention the "Fabulous after 40" fashion website here in Cyrsti's Condo. Currently they are providing fashion tips for big women.

Most of the time, I see as much practical worth in ideas such as these as I do copying the looks of Andrej Pejic on the runways. But this article is different.

To begin with there are big women and then there are big trans women like me. Proportion is the key of course. I'm aware many genetic women have approximately the same shoulder size and arms I have but in the vast majority of cases have a much bigger hip and thigh area.  I have always been fortunate in that my large frame is at the least rounded and I can use certain pieces of fashion to my style advantage. Check the picture at right for a couple examples of body styles:

Lets get to the tips:


Tip # 1 – Don’t Buy Clothes that are Too Tight Nothing is worse than trying to fit into clothes that are too small. You think smaller sized clothing is going to make you look thinner, when in reality it makes you look bigger. Small clothes on a big body exaggerates your weight. Get the size that fits and forget about the size tag.

 Tip # 2 – Don’t Buy Clothes that are Too Baggy On the Flip side, clothing that is too loose doesn’t work either. When it comes to Fashion Tips for overweight women, this is one you really need to pay attention to. It’s so common to see a heavy woman walking around in a “tent” of a top. What I mean here is a top or dress that is big, sloppy and has no fit. Many larger women think that they can hide behind loose clothing when in reality they are only drawing more attention to their body. Clothes need to skim your body, no matter what your shape. They don’t need to be tight but they need create flow over the curves of your body

The model on the left shows an example of what I am talking about.  Slowly but surely HRT is taking the muscle tone away from my biceps and my skin is smoothing out so in reality, her shoulders and arms are close to mine.  I still have a long ways to go in the hips department so I really need the skim over the hip area.

Let's move on:


Tip # 3 - Wear Dark Colors on the Heavy Bits Color is a wonderful way to camouflage weight. Dark colors recede and bright/light colors advance if you wear dark colors on your heavy parts those parts will look smaller. Big Thighs? Then wear dark navy, brown, black, gray, burgundy pants and a lighter/brighter top. Huge bust and tiny hips? Then you’d want to wear the darker color up top and the lighter color on the bottom.
 Tip # 4- Avoid Detail where you carry the Weight plus size women with bigger bone structure can wear bigger, heavier accessories Buttons, pockets, pleats, embellishment…They all draw attention. So don’t have them where you where don’t want people to look. If you have a generous rear end that you are trying to downplay don’t buy jeans with studs, embroidery or anything else jazzing up the back pockets. If your upper arms are beefy, a short sleeve top with sleeves that end at the thickest part of your arm is going to make them look heavier. A mirror is your best friend.

Aha! That pesky mirror again!!! I can't tell you how many times it has lied to me!!!  At some point of time you have to woman up and face the real image in the mirror. In my case, I know I am never going to be thin enough to run around in the shower to get wet.  I just don't have that body style with my bones and torso- so I have to work with it and around it! Gee thanks mirror!

Finally, the fun tip!:


Tip # 5 - Keep Your Accessories in Scale If you are a heavier woman you need to have heavier accessories. A 200 Pound woman is going to look heavier with tiny, dainty jewelry. She can looks big in medium to even very large size jewelry. Scale is also important when it comes to other things such as the thickness of your heels. For example if you have heavy legs and calves a thin spiky heel is such a contrast to your legs that you are going to look like you have even heavier legs. A thicker heavier heel would be better for you. Imagine a very heavy set woman with a tiny purse. It just makes her look bigger right. Keep your accessories in line with your weight and size and you will look slimmer.

There you go girls. Five really good tips to dressing your body.  As we discussed in a recent post, it may be harder being a woman but if you do your homework and obsess a little with the process, the benefits will be worth it!

Trying too Hard

As I sat in the salon today going through the process of making my hair presentable, I had a chance to read a few of the fashion/style magazines which were naturally available.
One story quickly caught my interest. It seems a genetic woman wrote an article about her experience with wigs. She set out to try as many colors and styles as she could during a day and then wear her choice on the subways of NYC.

Of course like the rest of us, she was totally blown out of the water and like many of us...went the blond route.

Here's the fun part. After she made her choice, she felt attractive and secure with her new appearance- until she rode on the subway.  Her comment? I became paranoid because I thought people would think I was trying too hard. (paraphrased)

Wow! Isn't trying too hard to be feminine one of our biggest fundamental problems from cross dresser to transgender? Once we relax and allow our inner girls to emerge, all of the sudden our lives become easier.

As my stylist worked her magic and I walked out, I thought how much sense the genetic woman made.

Trans Feminism

This one of those topics which is certain to raise discussions to an emotional rather than a rational level. I'm sure the rad fem haters and their transgender opponents have been battling about this subject for years.  When you refuse to recognize a transgender or transsexual woman as any sort of a female, feminism is a mute point to many.
Fortunately there are a few younger generation people discussing this. Including this article from the Marshall University student publication:
 "Trans-feminism provides type of feminism specific to transgender individuals".

Here's an excerpt:

"Just like any feminists, trans-women connect with whichever branch of feminism coincides with their lifestyle and personal views. Feminists can be radical or conservative. They can identify as men, women, trans, or anything in between. They can be gay, lesbian, bisexual. A branch of feminism exists for everyone. Therefore, the concept of trans-feminism does not suggest that trans-women cannot be part of regular feminism. It all just depends on which equality ideal most closely reflects their goals, personalized views and lifestyle choices. From what I understand, it is a much more difficult transition from male to female, socially because of societal norms of acceptability. Men dressing, acting or identifying as feminine are often judged more harshly than women doing the opposite. This added difficulty of transition could be one reason behind the need for a different type of feminism. By the same logic, anyone could also identify as trans-feminist regardless of their own gender identity if their motives correspond with those of the trans-feminist community more closely than with any other type of feminism. Many people who do not struggle with gender identity concern themselves with transgender rights and issues because they feel their importance and urgency. Perhaps trans-feminism could be perceived the same way. You don’t have to be transgender to get involved in the fight for their rights as human beings. Trans-feminism defines a branch of feminism that has been much needed in society. Despite feminism’s push for total gender equality, a whole other set of issues entangled transgender individuals. In some cases, they need something more than mainstream feminism can offer."

I have a tendency to agree. In some places trans women are still struggling for voting rights because of ID issues and I shouldn't even have to mention the shameful employment discrimination we all face.  Genetic women may be fighting for equal pay but we are fighting to be hired at all.

This is an interesting look at our world from a concerned outsider. Read it all here.

The Trans and the Hair

With all due respect to the old nursery rhyme and Aesop, hair is a basic focus to all transgender or cross dressing critters such as us.
I think back to the ancient days of anguish over my dictated crew cut hair cut. Like many I tried scarves and even horded my paper route money to buy a cherished cheap Halloween costume wig. I dreamed of the day I could own my own luxurious hair.

Time went by and eventually I was able to purchase my own cross dressers dream- a beautiful long blond wig when I was in college.
Then the draft and Army took over and back I went in time to my crew cut days or worse. Somehow, long flowing locks were looked down on in Uncle Sam's service.

As a philosopher once said (or I read it on a wall) "eventually this too must pass" I finished my military service and set out to prove that perhaps I did indeed have a chance to cross dress and pass as a woman.
Once again I hoarded and hid money to buy wigs. Surely I was like a kid in a candy store. The varied styles, colors and textures of hair pieces just blew me away. In response I tried as many as I could. Unfortunately the greatest majority of my purchases were disasters.  I found wigs were similar to clothes in that hair doesn't make the woman, it just adds to the process.

Finally, here I am today. I have gone full circle thanks to good hair genetics I'm able to have my own hair (now down well onto my shoulders) styled and colored.
My final experience with hair is rather indepth-if I do it right.  Ironically, I'm still hoarding money to visit my stylist from my retirement budget- plus attempting to figure out which hair care products do the best job. The old days of a dollar bottle of shampoo are long gone. I'm now shopping for conditioners, color safe and other miracle hair products. In addition, I have upgraded my hair dryer, flat iron and brushes to enhance my locks (I hope).

Perhaps another one of the old "sayings" is right. Good things come to those who wait. Genetic women close to me compliment me on the thickness of my hair. I speculate much of the positives come from the fact my hair was not subjected to the heat, conditioners and styling a woman's does long term.
Would I love to have been that hippie girl with the beautiful hair streaming over her shoulders and back? You bet I would!
As reality would have it though, hair beggars can't be choosers  I'm just lucky to be where I'm at today.
In my case the "hair" beat the turtoise in the old fable.

Boob Job?

I suppose I could have added this post into the More Than Meets the Eye post in a lot of ways.  Out of the clear blue sky on our trip my girlfriend asked if I would want a boob job? I didn't hesitate and said yes! She said she had considered how much better I could fill out halter tops and other fashions this summer with more "boobage".  It occurred to me I should have added this idea to my summer vision of seeing, doing and being. How much more fun would it be to "show off" a nice set of breasts this summer?  Certainly I know my breasts will grow to a genetically predetermined point from the HRT (that I don't know) but surgery would provide instant gratification. 

Frankly, the idea of an operation is an impossible financial dream to me right now...but what a delicious dream it is! Plus, if a person can't dream much of life is lost.

While we are on the subject of boobs, I received my second girl lesson of the best place to store your cell phone. In your bra.  I do know for a fact that certain companies make a bra for that purpose and I do know for a fact I loved the sensation when someone texts me. To do it though, I had to become smooth at the process so I wouldn't attract attention of fishing down my shirt. It's a huge improvement over finding my phone in my purse.

As with many genetic women I do a lot of communication on my cell phone and this lesson was a great one!

Dating Yourself?

Maybe I should say-would you date your old male self?
I saw this question on a YouTube video and was fascinated.
I have asked here in Cyrsti's Condo would you be the kind of daughter Mom would like or even would you be the kind of girl she would like to see her son bring home?
Back to the question, would I date me?

For no particular egotistical reason I would say yes. As with so many other young men in my circles, sports and cars dominated my existence so as a young woman I would have had to expect it and adjust. I worked and had an income so as a young woman I could go with me and have interesting dates. (Or at least get out of the house!)
I suppose I was reasonable looking and smart enough to be headed to college so there were worse guys to be seen with.

Drawbacks? As any male, past and present-old and young-I had an ego. In fact as a transgender woman I deal with it now with any men I meet. To think genetic women don't learn to deal with the game all their lives is crazy. Some just do it better than others and one way or another I would have had been socialized to the experience.

I was never a dating "superstar" and I certainly didn't fall into the "bad boy" category which genetic women supposedly are drawn to. Ironically the reason I wouldn't date me is because of my gender alignments. The ripping and tearing of my male and female sides made life miserable for me and all around me at times.  As I got older, I also turned to self medication in the form of alcohol for the most part and considered myself rather "non civilized" following seven consecutive years in college and the Army.
Perhaps the women who did date and marry me felt the basic female need to nurture and change me? The only thing I do know is my wife of 25 years said several times she saw the basic good in me under the turmoil thank God!

At any rate, it's a fun and interesting question for all of us to ponder-trans women or trans men. The next time you pull out the mirror to admire or dislike your image, try looking past the mirror and take a better look at yourself.
The process may just make you a better woman or man.

Taking on the Military

As genetic women won the much deserved right to serve in combat functions in the United States military, transgender individuals are still on the outside looking in. More precisely really looking in since we are forbidden to serve at all.

Here in Cyrsti's Condo, I have mentioned Allyson Robinson. Who is a decorated veteran, a wife, a mother, an ordained Baptist minister, and the executive director of the recently combined advocacy organization for LGBT people in uniform, OutServe-Servicemembers Legal Defense Network. The Army veteran was tapped to lead the 6,000-member organization in October, and her appointment is noteworthy not only because she is one of the few women leading a military group but also because she is the first transgender person to lead a national LGBT organization.

A new feature in  theAdvocate  spotlighted Allyson's qualifications:

"Robinson’s appointment is anything but an affirmative-action hire, said retired Navy captain April Heinze, cochair of OutServe-SLDN’s Board of Directors in a statement announcing the hire. “Allyson Robinson is exactly the right person at the right time to be our leader and voice in Washington in the fight to achieve full LGBT equality in the military,” said Heinze. Indeed, Robinson is exceedingly qualified for her new position. A graduate of the U.S. Military Academy at West Point, Robinson served as a commissioned Army officer commanding Patriot missiles in Europe and the Middle East, a senior trainer for NATO, and an adviser to the armed forces of Saudi Arabia, Kuwait, and Qatar."

Read more here.

Brazilian Transsexual

By now I'm sure you have read the story of the furor which came out of this comment:

“we [women] are angry with ourselves for not being happier, not being loved properly and not having the ideal body shape – that of a Brazilian transsexual.”

Of course all the trans nazi's and trans feminist's jumped hysterically on this.

I hang out almost exclusively with genetic women and I have to say most of them and I would kill to have a body like Brazilian transsexual Lea T  shown on the right.

Look, all of us know we are never going to develop a body such as Lea's. She is a model for a reason!!! As far as a role model for girls and women's struggles around the world- that's a bit of a stretch. My point is feminists have a real reason to criticize society as a whole until all women have equal treatment around the world. I don't care that most don't consider transgender women "worthy" of joining their gender inner sanctum. Don't need their support, it's their loss.

The problem with the quote was she didn't take it far enough. I have my own prejudice against gender nazi's as being bitter one sided folks who have found this box of toys called the internet to spread their ideas. I don't suppose she would have ever added the idea that people of both genders and between have problems with being loved, being happy and how we look. But angry? How about we all should be working on our problems. Not just bitching about them.

Transgender Basics

All too often I read of beginning cross dressers all the way to transsexuals who dwell on the smallest points of fashion, shoes and makeup- there is nothing wrong with that! On the other hand, if you are not practicing the beauty basics in essence you could be wasting a lot of time before you slide into those heels!

My first example is weight. Similar to most of us, I have a thick torso so any weight I gain still goes to my upper body. (I think the hormones are finally shifting some "padding" to my hips, thighs and butt.) Excluding my breasts, the last thing I want to do is gain weight. My thought is, if you want to enter the feminine world, you may want to get obsessive about your weight like most genetic women. Be forewarned such as I was. Hormones will not help your weight issue! Pounds are as easy to put on but much harder to take off!

My second example is skin care.  Of course your skin is a canvas. The better the base-the better the finished product. One area of my appearance I do get a lot of compliments on is in the age category. Most don't even come close to thinking I'm 63. Genetics of course do have big impact but I believe nearly 20 years of moisturizers and skin creams have helped too.  "Back in the day" it was always easy for me to "stash" away some sort of skin care product to apply everyday after I shaved. There are hundreds to chose from. They include cleansers, defoliants, wrinkle cream at all different price ranges. Today it is even easier to use a skin care product because they are on the market for men. So, in reality you should have no excuse to not take care of your skin!

Finally, I believe so many in our community spend so much time jumping in and out of the culture they lose sight of tomorrow. Purging today for a week, month or year (of all your female belongings) usually doesn't mean you won't be back.  Following the two common sense basics above will certainly help you in which ever gender you ultimately chose to live.