Thursday, December 27, 2018

Transgender Sexuality

When we transition from male to female, naturally enough, the world is driven to it's own conclusions over our sexuality.

If and when, I am given the chance, I love to insert my well worn phrase "Sex is between the legs, Gender is between the ears. I started to think about all of this again recently because of two recent happenings...one of which I wrote about here in Cyrsti's Condo, during the "Space Invader" post.

Very simply, the post was about another woman who wouldn't leave me alone. I don't like it when I am needlessly poked or prodded. Now, I'm not saying the whole thing was anything sexual but then again, I don't know. I am aware too, women are allowed to touch each other when men normally never do. One way or another, the advances were not liked or returned.

Of course too, we transgender women have the stigma of being promiscuous. Which comes from drag queens and fetish cross dressers.  I think if I see one more 50 ish crossdresser poured into a plaid mini skirt on other social media, I am going to scream.

Then again, going back to the original point, Connie has another idea:

"I dislike being nudged and poked, too. A gentle touch on the arm or hand is fine, as I enjoy platonic intimacy. Unfortunately, I am not prone to being the "toucher." I have a fear of having my affections misread as being sexual, just because my trans status may be misunderstood. This applies to both men and other women. Then, again, I have misread the touching by others as being platonic, only to discover that it was sexual. I have always been a bit naive, unable to readily recognize the difference between love and lust. I blame it, mostly, on the fact that I am a trans woman; a psychiatrist may have another take on it, though.

We, as trans woman, should have the same rights as anyone else to set our own boundaries, whether they be physical or verbal. You didn't deserve to be subjected to her invasions, but I doubt she knows that now any more than she did while she was committing them. Some people are always going to act in predictable ways. We can only recognize that fact and make the choice to either put up with it or stay away. Just know that it's her and not you". 

Especially now, in the era of the "Me Too" movement, it is especially important our boundaries are respected.

2 comments:

  1. And now approaches another New Year's Eve. I hate it, when at a get-together for the celebration, the clock strikes midnight. On the one hand, I yearn to partake in the celebratory hugs and kisses, but I am not fond of kissing men. Kissing other women would be wonderful, but that doesn't seem to be the general rule for that game. I still get an icky feeling when I think about the time a mustachioed man planted a big smooch on me, and having those prickly whiskers poking and rubbing my lips. For the rest of the party, he went around with my lipstick all over his mustache, as if it were a badge of honor.

    Maybe I should seek out a lesbian party this year. Of course, not all lesbians are in to kissing trans women, either...

    ReplyDelete
  2. I think I will probably stick to only kissing Liz! :)

    ReplyDelete

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