Philippine Beauties

From the Philippines comes two beauties, Paolo Ballesterors and Martin del Rosario:

 

Dream...or Nightmare

Following up on my Cyrsti's Condo post from yesterday, if I had the dream of living as a woman for so long, was I living a nightmare as a guy?

As I look back on it, much of forcing myself to live a macho existence was a nightmare. Especially the closer I got to actual attempting a male to female gender transformation. I wouldn't wish the time on anyone when I was living three days a week as a girl and four as a guy. All of it culminated in a very active suicide attempt.

The whole problem was I refused to accept my true self.  When I did, the pressure was off. Off course I made quite a few mistakes as I was learning how to live on the other side of the gender fence but going through the learning curve was worth it.

As often is the case, Connie has another look on the gender nightmare issue which I would like to share:

"If living a life as a woman is the dream, living the lie has to be the nightmare. It's often the nightmare, though, that causes one to wake up and start living the dream.

I've known you since we were both having our own nightmares. In retrospect, yes, we both could have awakened earlier, but we can only go forward, being happy that our nightmares are over.

From that old song:

Oh, what can it mean,
To a daydream believer,
And a homecoming queen?"

Quoting the Monkee's too, I was the "daydream believer " but never made the homecoming queen! 

Blog Comment

I follow a non transgender based blog on Word Press called Lifes Fine Whine. Today she posted she wanted comments about childhood dreams and how they came out. I decided to provide a comment about mine. The comment was designed to explain some of the angst of being transgender without getting too in depth. Here it is:

All through my childhood, I wanted desperately to be just like the girl next door. Unfortunately I was a boy born into a male dominated family.
So, I played football when I wanted to be a cheerleader. Went to the prom in a tux instead of the beautiful dress my date wore.

After college, I was drafted into the military during the Vietnam War. I served my time but never lost the idea I was somehow living a lie. I cross-dressed every time I had the chance to relieve the pressure and explored the idea of living a feminine life.

Along the way, I went through two marriages to women who knew of my "secret." The second passed away quite unexpectedly leaving me free to make a decision in my life.

Finally, at the age of 60, I came out as transgender and started hormone replacement therapy to feminize my body as much as possible.
I began to live my life as a transgender woman. Found an incredibly accepting partner and settled into living my dream.

It took me awhile but now I feel blessed to have lived on both sides of the gender fence.
I have also benefited from my daughter and three grand kids who also are extremely accepting.
In many ways I feel I should come out sooner.
However the wait was worth it. 

From India...Transgender Success

These posts come from a site called Trending and feature several successful transgender stories. The first of which is "Nazz Joshi" trans model and winner of the Miss World Diversity 2019:


The second is Anjali Ameer, the first transsexual to play a lead role in an Indian Movie:


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For more, go here To the Indian Times..

Gift Package

Well. after a year's wait to get my Estradiol meds increased, my new patches came in approximately five days through the mail. There are several different methods of taking the meds.

You can take them by swallowing pills, taking shots or by applying stick on patches.  My endocrinologist prefers the patch method due to possible blood clot issues. I know from talking to other transgender women, the other methods are preferred too. For many different reasons. Plus, I have to take the good and the bad in the Veterans Administration medical system.  Obviously, the good is that it is free. The bad is that normally you are restricted in what the VA provides as far as hormone replacement therapy goes. An example is progesterone.

Progesterone as an additional hormone has never been mentioned to me. In the past, I have had some trans friends who took progesterone. One developed the annoying habit of lactating under her shirt while she was still dressing like a guy at work.

Believe me, I am not complaining. I understand my endocrinologist has always erred on the side of caution with me. I know, as well as she does, the threat of possible blood clots is always possible.

In fact, I had to go through several vascular and heart tests to even get approved for this increase.

I start the new patches on Tuesday and I am interested to see how it affects me. After all it's a 25%  increase.

We will see if it's enough to induce hot flashes again.

Boo!

All in all. last night's Halloween party at a local tavern was a success. I ate an authentic gyro (for once), was able to sit in a seat I was able to move around a bit and overall, had a good time.

Of course with my back, any seat becomes uncomfortable within a two hour time frame. I took my ibuprofen ahead of time last night to buy me a little extra time. I was also able to enjoy three milk stout craft beers from a local brewery. If you are not familiar, a milk stout brew, is a very dark beer with a creamy head (top) and high alcoholic content.

As far as costumes went, there were a few creative ones within the group, but not many in the tavern. It was too bad a cross dresser didn't slip in we didn't know so we could critique them.

I found two pictures this morning to share. The first is Liz and I:

The second is the person from the group whom I consider to be the best transitioned trans woman in the group. Her name is Emily and she came last night with her boyfriend.

We even stayed out late for us...11 pm! After all, The Ohio State Buckeyes play at noon today (Saturday).

If you all have a chance to enjoy Halloween this weekend, I hope you have fun!

Friday Night Puns

As the national holiday for cross dressers everywhere rapidly approaches (Halloween), I hope you have your costume ideas all together. I remember the extreme stress I went through. First and foremost, I wanted to try to come up with a costume idea similar to what a cis woman would wear. Then, I had to try to come up with a date I could be free so I could attend some sort of a party.

I worked in the restaurant business, so most of the time it meant working all weekends. Plus, getting all dolled up cross dressed for work was out of the question. After all I had my macho image to protect, primarily because of the white redneck kitchen crews I had to manage. One of the prime reasons I don't have more Halloween stories to share.

Also, not all of the experiences were positive. I remember the times when the high heels I wore killed my feet. Or for some reason the few parties I wasn't accepted well at. The times I was touched inappropriately come to mind too. I guess I learned the hard way what cis women go through when they dress a certain way.

But all in all, the good times out numbered the bad. Including the experience I shared about the politician and his wife.  Here is where the "puns" come in. Compliments of Connie (of course):


"Maybe it was the politician's wife who was more interested? Or, a ménage à trois that could lead to a raucous in the caucus? Or, something profunda in the rotunda? A congressional confessional? :-)"   Probably all of the above!

Before Liz and I go out tonight to a Halloween party at a local venue we are close to, I thought I would share a picture of both of us. Taken last winter. Maybe I will have a picture taken tonight if I think about it.

Also thanks to Connie for the political puns!

Liz and Jessie selfie taken last winter in downtown Cincinnati, Ohio

Halloween Dreams

It amazes me after all these years I can still have so many vivid memories of my early Halloween experiences.

One of the earliest goes back to the 1980's when I lived near Yonkers, New York. I was working for a Wendy's franchisee then and one of my assistant managers invited me to a Halloween get together she was having. I saw it as the perfect opportunity to get out and live as a woman for a short period of time...if I could figure out how to do it.

Since my wife wasn't really into Halloween and knew why I was, it was fairly easy to convince her not to go. Plus, she was always against what she thought were my sleezy costumes. With her out of the way, I was free to costume myself anyway I pleased.

I picked out a short mini dress, heels and one of my fave wigs for the evening. If you remember, big hair was "in" in the 80's, so I fit right in. After freshly shaving my legs, applying my makeup, panty hose and getting dressed, it was time to go.

What I wasn't prepared for was how well I was going to fit right in.

It turned out, the Halloween "party" she invited me to was actually a group of her girl friends who all were going to one of their local taverns to party. I was in heaven when I saw all these women dressed almost like I was. Initially they were in shock when they saw me and looked me over head to toe until my friend told them who I was. Then I was accepted.

The tavern was within walking distance of her house, so here we were all in our heels clicking along as we walked to the party. Again, I blended right in and felt great.

Once we arrived at the tavern, we proceeded to order drinks and the other women got up to dance. Unfortunately I have exactly no rhythm and kept my seat. Inwardly though, I was savoring every moment and even got asked to dance. Again, I politely declined.

All too quickly the evening had to end and I had to head back to my routine existence. However, the word spread through out my store how I had dressed for Halloween. Nothing much happened as I just said I always wanted to do it. Resulting in a few "yeah right" smiles.

Little did I know how long the memories of the evening would linger. It showed me how it would be to interact with women on their own level. If only for one evening. 

Celebrity Fun?

Connie's comment about her attention from pro athlete (NBA) Shawn Kemp jogged my memory of a Halloween party when I got asked out by a future Washington D.C. politician and his wife. First, Connie's comment:

"I did join him at his table for a bit, only because there were already two other women there already. I was able to play defense long enough until the shot clock had expired, anyway. I wish I'd been able to get a pic, but this was so long ago that my flip phone didn't have a camera."

There has to be some sort of pun to use here about you or Shawn calling foul somewhere along the line. :)

Plus, the best I can offer was the the night I got all dolled up (cross dressed) for a Halloween party. For some reason I ended up leaving my wife at home and going with a news woman at a radio station I was working at. 

Along the way at the party, I was approached by a couple I vaguely knew as a local politician. The party turned out to be a fun eclectic blend of people in a restored Victorian mansion.  They initially expressed their surprise I wasn't what I appeared to be. Then proceeded to ask me along to another party they were heading too.

Seeing as how I was the news woman's ride, I had to say no. It turned out to be one of those moments my life could have changed if I had been able to say yes.

I often wonder how the politician who went to Washington fared later on when he tried to pick up a cross dresser with his wife.  I can't believe I was the first...or the last.

Of course with a politician, I would never have found out the truth!

As I wrote, I don't have a real celebrity story to share such as Connie's but I do have the experience of being mistaken for a woman during a time in my life when my gender dysphoria was at it's peak. I was constantly  wondering if living full time as a woman was even possible. 

It turns out it was.

Success

Finally my endocrinologist got in touch with me yesterday.  Approximately a week and half ago I did my blood labs to check my hormone levels.

My testosterone levels came back half of what the normal prescribed amount, so that is good if you are a transgender woman. Which of course I am. No real surprise because at my age, my testosterone would be decreasing anyway.

More importantly my estrogen amount was also low enough to be able to increase my dosage of estradiol (estrogen).

Since I passed all my blood clot, heart, lung and colon tests with flying colors, I was approved for an increase in my hormone patches from 1.5 milligrams to 2.0. Now all I am left with wondering how long it will take me to get my new patches.

What I hope will happen is a decrease in my overall body hair again and maybe an increase in my hips. The process started then stopped.

Of course due to my age and VA supervision, I have to be monitored again in about six months. By "monitored" I mean I have to have my blood tests done again to check my estrogen level. Sometimes I am fairly certain I set a record for the number of blood tests taken at the Dayton, Ohio VA.

I am not complaining though. I have been trying to get my Estradiol increased for the past year or so. With the increase, I still will only be at the level of several of the other trans women I know. I also know my endocrinologist is acting out of caution. Again due to my age.

Which I appreciate.

Transgender Fun?

With my colonoscopy behind me (no pun intended) it is now time to move on to more pleasant pursuits.  By the way, the colon check came up with no major problems and a scheduled return trip in five years. I so fortunate now my heart, lung and colon tests have returned no problems.

Now I can get back to day to day life. Wednesday night I have a Transgender Day of Remembrance committee meeting at a well known coffee shop. I'm in good shape for the meeting for a change because I was instrumental in lining up two speakers, who in turn lined up another speaker.  As I have mentioned before, the event is coming together well.

The weekend is turning out to be a busy one.  Friday night we are going against the political grain and will be joining the former moderator/social director of the transgender - cross dresser group I am still part of. I have decided to pick and choose the most interesting sounding events from both groups and see what happens. I feel like neither side controls me so I am free to do what I want to do. Plus, if the truth be known, if I ruffle a few feathers, so be it. We will be going to a dinner and Halloween party.

Saturday, the football gods are with us again.  The Ohio State Buckeyes play the very competitive Wisconsin Badgers at noon...which will give us time to go to a local Creole Restaurant I have been wanting to go to for quite a while.  It is actually going to be a belated birthday dinner for me.

The weekend will wrap up of course on Sunday. Since the football Bengals are no wins and seven losses, we have no real desire to watch them anymore unless improvements are made. So, we have plenty ot time to run our errands.

So life is good.

Witches Ball

What a night! Liz went approximately two days without sleep getting decorations ready. The good news was we filled the venue and made a nice amount of money for the two charities we give to.

As far as a costume goes, in a moment of panic, the two outfits I was planning on choosing from didn't work. I finally decided on my long flowing black embroidered skirt and black and white print blouse/top. I also bought a lighter foundation to give me a more "witchy" look. Finally I added the sparkly witches hat Liz bought me with a big spider on the side.

The reactions were varied and took me back to previous Halloweens. Of course I received quite a few looks and one compliment from the best looking cis woman in the crowd. I believe she was biased though because she has known me for a while now. She is obviously a big fan of transgender people. Still, a compliment is a compliment!

Anymore, Halloween is a different type of evening for me.  I have nothing to prove anymore with a feminine costume. In fact, I think the whole evening tends to get me clocked.  I am always aware of the compliment "you look beautiful"...for a man in a dress. Oh well.

Since we decorated the venue, we had to clean it up.  All of a sudden, a late night turned into an early morning. We had to be out by one o'clock and made it by five minutes.

By the time we finished loading and finally were done chatting it was around two in the morning.

The trip home was unremarkable outside of me getting my skirt stuck in the door. You could tell I don't wear a skirt much.

The major problem we encountered was stopping at a certain 24 hour hamburger chain I'm sure you would recognize if I told you. Every time I go there, I come away with the feeling being hungry was a better bet than eating there. So shame on me.

At least the employee at the drive thru window kept referring to us as "ladies" as she apologized for how long the order was taking.   

Transgender Halloween

My Halloween is coming up tonight. It's finally here after a years worth of planning...the Cincinnati Witches Ball.

I am wearing a modified witches costume. Made up of a long layered flowing dress and a glittery witches hat. Not really a radical costume idea but then again, it fits the theme.

Every year at this time, I think back on all the bittersweet Halloweens I had during my cross dressing days. Sweet because I was able to spend at least one precious evening (a year) cross dressed as a girl and bitter because it ended so soon.

I did all of the usual sleezy costume ideas but later on always migrated to costumes which hopefully helped me to look like what a real woman would wear. I would hope other party goers would mistake me for a woman. Which did actually happen a few times.

For some reason though, the whole process just frustrated me more.  Instead of following up on the idea of blending when I cross dressed, I had a tendency to over do it. I became the cross dresser in the mall stuffed into a mini shirt and heels.

Fast forwarding to the present, Halloween for me has become a time to look for possible cross dressers and their costumes. Much of the fun is gone too, because I actually have a job to do at the party.

I guess the true scary meaning of Halloween for me was always replaced by the pressure of choosing a feminine costume and having the courage to wear it.

As the actual Halloween date comes closer, I will post a few of my past experiences!

Hunter Schafer

Transgender actress and LGBTQ activist "Hunter Schafer" who stars on the television show Euphoria:

More Blood Tests

Yesterday marked yet another trip North to Dayton, Ohio to visit my Veterans Administration therapist. Everything went well as my overall mental health has been positive since almost all of my major tests have come back positive. More precisely, my three heart exams and one lung exam. I still have the most difficult test of all coming up, a colonoscopy early next week.  As  Connie would say...a real pain in the rear :).

My blood test yesterday was extremely important in that it checked my body's hormone levels. My endocrinologist wanted the results to see if it will be safe to increase my estradiol. I am very excited to find out the results. Estradiol by the way, is a form of estrogen.

My warning always is, DO NOT attempt to self medicate with estradiol or any other HRT medications. Doing so can be extremely dangerous to your health.

Impossibly High Heels

Connie commented on a recent Cyrsti's Condo post which involved high heels, beer, and coffee:

"So, you don't need high heels to be impossibly high, just a couple of micro brews! Actually, some of those beers have a lot more alcohol content, so a couple of them could be like drinking a six-pack of Bud Light.

I've noticed that wearing "impossibly high heels" could give reason for a couple free beers, bought for me by men (gay or not?). I don't know that my makeup is perfect, but it is perfect for me! I do think about my presentation, and how striving for perfection may be outing myself more easily. Still, when the occasion is fancy enough for it, I will go ahead and doll myself up - and lift myself up, too. Five-inch heels are no problem for me to navigate any room! For me, the daily blend gets boring, and I relish those few times a year when I can throw caution to the wind. I wasn't too tall in my 5" heels that time when Sean Kemp sent over a drink and an invitation to join him at his table! I've always joked about that incident, in that Sean had so many children by so many different women, he must have felt I would be a safe and cheap date. :-)

I'm glad to hear that your foot is better, by the way. Not that I expect to also hear you're wearing impossibly high heels, though. ;-)"

For sure, high heels have a mystical erotic value. Even a sense of power for men and women. Sean Kemp surely would agree!

The beer I was drinking was a bourbon barrel stout which carried an 8% alcoholic content. By comparison, when I worked in the bar business years ago, we had to make sure Coor's Light wasn't buried in the cooler where it would freeze. The alcoholic  content was so low. 

I felt bad that even if I can't wear high heels anymore, I couldn't even drink more than two stout beers. I don't feel too badly about not being able to wear high heels anymore, self preservation at my age is a priority!

Transgender Acceptance

Sunday was a very busy day, with many different errands to run and people to see.

It was a beautiful sunny fall day, perfect weather for leggings and my powder blue light sweater. Plus, for once in a very long time, I felt healthy with no aches or pains in my foot. Naturally, it made walking so much easier and I did a lot of it.

Before we left, I had a chance to see CBS News Sunday Morning show on the television. One of the show's features was a revisiting of a show five years ago with several transgender kids. It was very well done and I have added a link here if you haven't seen it. I would check it quickly before it goes away.

Then,we started the day by going to a large game/restaurant venue to pick up what turned out to be a very generous donation to this years Cincinnati Witches Ball. The place had just opened so there were very few people around to notice or be noticed.

From there, we headed back across town to attend a memorial for a dear friend who passed recently. His sister was holding the memorial for his partner in a local tea/coffee shop. As Liz headed for the rest room, I was left to negotiate the ordering process. Since I am not really a tea drinker, I opted for a dark roast coffee and ordered Liz her tea. In the midst of a very busy venue, I received extra ordinarily good service I thought and most of it came because I am transgender. We were asked at least three times if everything was OK.

Ironically, I am fairly sure I wasn't the only trans person in the room. I was introduced to the "wife" of an obviously very gay man. I was impressed by how the trans woman could navigate the crowded surroundings in a pair of impossibly high heels. In fact, the shoes, combined with perfect makeup (to me) gave her away. Plus, she refused to make eye contact at all.

Next, it was time to say our sad goodbyes and head to a very busy grocery store for our weekly shopping. Other than dodging mean old people in electric carts, the whole trip was very mundane. People aren't there to notice anyone and the clerks are in "check out and get out" mode.

Our next stop was a fun one. We had a Witches Ball committee meeting at the place we are having the ball next week...one of the bigger local micro breweries. They have a big party room we are renting. The meeting always gives me a chance to sample one or two of the brewery's fall offerings. These days, two are about all I can handle! We were able to sit outside and conduct the meeting and figured out we were still missing a couple items for a gift basket we are setting up an auction for. So, it was time to leave the brewery, another very accepting place and head to a giant specialty beer store and purchase items for the basket.

The beer store is attached to a huge grocery store, so again Liz and I had to walk a long way to even find the beer section. Find it we did and our day was almost over.

As we made our way back home, I had a chance to reflect back on the day and how far I have come in the world as a transgender woman.   

Coming Out Day...Again

I have been out for so long, I don't normally give much thought to the National "Coming Out Day" which was yesterday.

As I have always written about, coming out can be on very many levels. As little as cross dressing and going out on rare occasions when you are safe, all the way to living full time as a transgender woman. Both are equally as important to the overall trans cause.

Through all of this though, I had my own "coming out" experience this morning. With our changing weather and numerous errands to run this morning, I had to go my wardrobe and find an outfit which was comfortable and was designed to blend with the majority of cis women I encounter. I came up with my long sleeved Durango, Colorado railroad shirt, along with a slightly faded pair of leggings with a pair of tennis shoes.

Normally, I am not real impressed with yet another rather mundane outfit but this morning  However, today somehow was different. For once I accepted I had arrived. This was life as I hadn't really planned for but found anyway. 

The coming out process for me went something like this.  I always knew my goal was to blend. Early on I focused on professional women around me. As I progressed though, I decided I loved the "hippie" bohemian styles from my youth. Finally these days I have settled on comfort and whatever style I can afford. I love this part of the year because I can wear my soft sweaters. colorful leggings and boots.

Most importantly, I have reached a point of having confidence in my feminine appearance which accordingly has acted as a deterrent to my gender dysphoria.

Whatever coming out means to you, building confidence could be your best friend. After all, the great majority of us start so far behind cis women applying makeup and having understanding of what outfits are flattering or not. One of the major problems is battling the mirror which always tries to lie to you and going through our teenage years when we are much older. Which leads to the stereotypical mid aged cross dresser in the mall stuffed into a mini skirt and heels.

Rest assured, it is all part of the coming out process. Here's to hoping yours is coming along well too!

Victoria's Secret becomes Inclusive

After years of excluding transgender and plus size models in their stores advertising, Victoria's Secret has finally become more inclusive.

Starting this month, Victoria’s Secret is collaborating with British designer Emily Bendell. See-through bras, lacy panties, bodysuits with sharp geometric lines and garter belts in shades of crimson, black and white can be found at victoriassecret.com and in seven select stores in the U.S. and U.K. as part of the Bluebella collection, Bendell’s brand. 

The collection has a twist — that’s because it fulfills parent company L Brands Inc.’s promise to update its marketing strategy. Transgender model and actress May Simón Lifschitz and plus-size model Ali Tate Cutler, along with Olivia Sang and Laura Rakhman-Kidd, can be seen in advertisements for the collection on the company’s web site and on images inside and outside of the stores carrying the line. These include New York’s flagship along Fifth Avenue and London’s Bond Street store. Another step forward!

Trans model May Simon Lifsschitz

Yet Another Group?

Perhaps you remember the transgender woman I have called "The Moderator" here in Cyrsti's Condo. She is the one who ran all of the transgender - cross dresser support group meetings I normally attend, as well as most of the trans socials.

For some reason I don't know, she abruptly left the Crossport group this week. I would imagine sooner or later I will hear gossip why but I haven't so far.

In the meantime (and very rapidly) the expelled member has started her own group. So far she is trying to mimic the well established first group by hosting two support group meetings a month, plus at least three socials.

So far, Liz and I have been invited to join the new group on Facebook, plus the first social this Saturday night. I am not sure what we are going to do yet.

On one hand, I wouldn't mind going. On the other, I would like to have a few more details on what caused the split.

This Saturday is one of the rare days during the college football season which The Ohio State University Buckeyes aren't playing. So, Liz and I have a open possible date night.

I still have a couple of days to figure it out and see what the original group does to schedule any of their regular socials.

No need to hurry!

Truthfully, I don't think this city should be asked to support two groups, seemingly so alike.

Sometimes the Transgender Future is Bright

Every once in a while, I happen upon an extremely positive story which will impact the future of transgender women and men everywhere in this country.

Most of the time it's difficult to realize how much of what we face today comes from the hands of very old and white men in power. They are clinging for dear life (along with a certain base of people) to the archaic idea of making America White and Male Again is the only way to go.

At that point a story or post always comes along to give me hope. Here it is:

Samantha Boucher is on her way — both to Iowa for the 2020 U.S. Senate race there and to becoming the first openly transgender person to manage a U.S. senatorial campaign. Boucher, 24, will head Democratic candidate Kimberly Graham’s Senate campaign in the state against the Republican incumbent, Joni Ernst.

“Just the opportunity to do something so huge, to have a national impact, potentially, that really excites me, and I’m really looking forward to sinking my teeth in,” Boucher told NBC News.

Trans people are entering the political arena during an era when their rights are increasingly under attack — from a recent military ban on trans service members to myriad Republican-backed “bathroom bills.” At least 20 trans candidates have been elected to city and state offices across the country in recent elections. Prominent trans activist Sarah McBride recently launched her 2020 campaign to run for the Delaware senate. 

For more go here, to NBC News.

Success?

Somehow, someway, I have been able to line up a couple speakers of color for this year's Cincinnati "Transgender Day of Remembrance." Now, all I have to do is find a couple more before the November event on the 20th.

The whole situation has taught me how isolated I am from the transgender community as a whole and in particular, transgender people of color.

The event itself is turning out to be an evening to be proud of. We have a class venue which is donating it's space free. With plenty of room for the participating groups, such as HRC, GLSEN and Crossport to set up in. Crossport is the local transgender - cross dresser support group I am part of.

Photos of the deceased trans people who died in this country this year will be presented on  an endless loop during the event and even a showing of the short documentary film on Leelah Alcorn will be shown. You may (or may not) remember, Leelah was the transgender teen who committed suicide locally around here a couple years ago. Her parents were forcing her to go through a Christian form of gay conversion therapy.

Even the catering is being set up to satisfy the needs of Vegan and Kosher attendees.

So far, so good on the planning!

Surprise!

Yesterday was actually my 70th birthday. I thought I managed to keep it relatively undercover with just my partner Liz, daughter Andrea, and a few other friends knowing at all.

After choosing where I wanted to go for my birthday dinner out, we headed out. It was chilly enough for one of my lightweight sweaters and leggings.

As we went towards the restaurant I picked, even I figured out we were going the wrong way. I am still fairly new to driving around here and Liz knows all the short cuts, so I trusted her to get us there and I would soon be eating creole cooking soon,

No such luck. We seemingly drove forever before I figured out my birthday venue was going to be denied. I was more than a little upset as we entered this little off the beaten track brew pub. Then I realized I had been scammed. Sitting around a big table was my daughter, grand kids and son in law. I couldn't believe they were able to trick me so completely. At least it was for a good cause.

The beer and food was good. Then came the gifts.

I was given a necklace with my daughter and I's birthstone and the best present of them all...an T-shirt which said "Ohio State University Grandmother." OK, I couldn't help but cry. That simple shirt meant so much to me on so many levels.

Of course, my Granddaughter is a freshman at The Ohio State University (which I am a HUGE fan) and to have the word Grandmother attached was just too much to bear.

So all in all, I had a wonderful birthday. Even though it was a complete surprise!

Nicole Maines

Transgender activist and actor Nicole Maines knew she was a girl around the age of 3 or 4.

“My case is kind of unique because I have a twin brother (Jonas),” she told Ellen Degeneres during an appearance on “Ellen” in 2018. “So, growing up with him, he was identifying with all these male things and feeling very comfortable in his body, and I wasn’t.”

Maines, the subject of this month’s One Book One Valley community read “Becoming Nicole,” slowing began publicly transitioning in the first grade, and officially presented herself as female in the fifth grade, when she changed her name from Wyatt to Nicole.

Nicole Maines stars as Nia Nal/Dreamer, television's first transgender superhero, in The CW's "Supergirl." Season five premieres Sunday, Oct. 6. 

Fall has Fallen

FINALLY! A break from the record hot streak we have seen around here in late September and early October. Today is supposed to be over twenty two degrees cooler than yesterday. Fashion wise, it will help me decide what I am wearing to our latest paranormal ghost hunt tonight,  With the new chillier temperatures and with spending all night in a very old mansion, I have decided to wear a long sleeved t-shirt Liz bought me out in Colorado while we were on vacation. I will pair the t-shirt with my distressed black jeans. My goal is not to scare the spirits and blend in with what the other cis women in the group will be wearing.

As far as footwear is concerned, I am declaring this to be the last day for my walking boot. So, just in case I end up walking a long way tonight, I will have the boot to help me. I have not experienced any discomfort in a while and can't get anyone at the VA to give me an answer. So it's gone tomorrow unless I get a call today.

The ghost hunt tonight will preclude Liz and I going to the monthly cross dresser-transgender social tonight.

But I have been attending the planning meetings for this years' Transgender Day of Remembrance. It's tough on me because I am still so new to the Cincinnati metro area and have very little knowledge of the resources available. What I am trying to do is line-up several transgender speakers of color. So far I have been able to come up with a maybe from two. Overall it's going to be a quality somber event and we want to feature the fact the greatest percentage of tragic transgender murders take place against persons of color.

The event will take place this year on November 20th. To make a long story short, I am proud to provide whatever assistance I can.

Jazz Jennings

Transgender teenager Jazz Jennings has announced that she will be taking a gap year before attending Harvard in order to 'focus on self-care' after a busy year that has seen her undergoing gender confirmation surgery - while documenting it on her reality TV show. 

The South Florida native, 18, took to the platform to share her personal decision. The TV and YouTube personality said that deciding to take a break wasn't an easy call to make, but ultimately she thought it right to 'refocus and recenter' in order to be the 'strongest version' of herself. 

The I Am Jazz star graduated valedictorian from her high school this summer and was due to start at the Ivy League university this Fall. While she has previously expressed the desire to pursue a career in advocacy, she has not yet revealed what major she is taking. 

It's hard to believe Jazz is only 18! 

Billie Lee

Billie Lee is a transgender woman, activist, and blogger currently living in Los Angeles. You may also recognize Billie from the hit reality show Vanderpump Rules on BravoTV. She continues to work with Buzzfeed and others in the trans community to create videos that aim to educate on trans issues. For more on Billie, go here.

Cyrsti's Condo Thought of the Day