The Aftermath

Often you have to look past the obvious to see the effects of such a "big" transgender happening such as the Bruce Jenner / Dianne Sawyer interview last night.

According to my emails, many local ABC affiliates followed up with a local interview with a trans woman. Including WCPO here in Cincinnati. As always, all sorts of us -trans or whatever will draw their own conclusions. Personally, Liz and I are going to a gay couples party tonight (gay and lesbian.) I have wondered if I will be asked any (Bruce) questions. I doubt it and even hope not.

Why? After last night, I think the real benefit came from all the local television stations who broadcast stories of trans women (and a few good good trans men) from around their area. Perhaps the average "Joe" or "Jolene" on the street will now consider they actually know or might know a transgender person after all.

Even better, are the realizations that when famous people such as Bruce Jenner come out, the more power we have. Here is an example from yesterday here in Cincinnati. A restaurant in a restoration area downtown (even featured recently on the Food Channel) came up with a "Bruce Jenner" transphobic sounding sandwich for supposedly only yesterday. I caught the alert to it from the Cinci trans group on my Facebook and responded as did many others. One way or another, an apology was issued by the restaurant and the sandwich removed. Before the day was over.

There was even less excuse for the restaurant because of the proximity to the Leelah Alcorn tragic suicide last winter. People have short memories. Perfect or not, Bruce Jenner helps to keep our memory fresh.

Since You Asked

Recently I received this set of questions from a frustrated cross dressing closeted friend from the 80's.

 Dear Ms. Hart,

• How many people who dress are trans?  
• How many people who say they are trans actually know what they're talking about?  
• How many bisexuals prefer a "trans" label to a "bi" or "gay" label?  
• How many people who transition realize that they've evolved from male to transsexual and that "female" is truly out of reach?
• How many individuals and businesses are making money pandering to these people?
• How many people exhibiting suicidal tendencies are getting professional help as opposed to professional enabling?

 Wow!! if I knew these answers, I would be rich and somewhere else!

But of course like ass holes-I have assumptions like everyone else'

Here are some:

• 1.-VERY few cross dressers are trans-the castle (where we used ti hang out) just seemed to have an over balance. I would say 10% at the MOST.
• 2.-Most trans people do know what they are talking about-but in most cases say it in a terrible way. If you are truly trans-you just KNOW it.  If you are good enough to express it or write about, you are even in a smaller minority.
• None-all the bi/gay/lesbian labels are sexual-not gender. A trans person though can express which sexuality they prefer. Such as I prefer women and identify as a trans lesbian.
• As different as snowflakes-all perceptions are different. "Female and Male" are anatomical terms and have nothing to do with gender. Personally, I believe female is always out of reach-but "woman" isn't. Also I do believe there are still many transsexuals who believe they can still buy their way to being a female through surgery. HRT can "sync" a former male brain into the feminine world which felt right and being a woman is within reach. Remember a female is not a woman and a male is not a man.
• Very, very few business's make money "pandering" to the transgender community-for several reasons. The biggest one is the high unemployment rate. Also so many are still in the closet and so many go stealth (as I am considering this is all so tedious) money is scarce. Also, please don't confuse the gay and lesbian venues who do make some money off of some fringe trans peeps or the sudden abundance of reality shows about us. In short, we are poor, invisible and unorganized. Don't worry about us being "pandered" to yet.
• This is an incredibly misguided question. When you talk to your pastor-do you consider it "professional help?" Also, keep in mind professional help is too expensive and out of reach for the greatest majority of those who try and succeed at suicide. By using the term "enabler" you must still cling to some outmoded notion that this is a choice. If you have followed the Leelah Alcorn suicide at all, you would have your answer. If counseling enables you to save your own life-wouldn't you take it. What about if it was your own son?
• There you Go!

 

Cyrsti's Condo "Sunday Edition"

Kerplunk! Another Sunday edition from "The Condo" has hit your virtual front porch. It's a beautiful Spring day around here but still prime time for a simmering hot cup o joe! Lets get started.

Page One-The Week That Was or Wasn't:  During the week, the spirit of Leelah Alcorn was honored when President Obama made a public statement against transgender or gay conversion therapy. The announcement was even made there would be a "gender friendly" restroom in the White House. Yes, I instantaneous came up with plenty of cheap shots but "bottom" line is, the largely symbolic move was welcome-when I make my next trip to the White House.

Page Two-Tears Fall Again:  Taylor Alesana (left), a 16-year-old transgender girl in Fallbrook, Calif., who faced "constant" bullying online and in school, died by suicide April 2, reports San Diego TV station KGTV. Once again, ignorance equals bullying, equals death and tragedy-again.

Page Three - Army Strong? 

The Army is now leading the charge to change the U.S. military's long-standing ban on openly transgender troops by seeking guidance about whether it can allow a transgender sergeant to continue serving as the man he is. 

Army Sgt. Shane Ortega (right) served three combat tours, according to a Thursday profile in The Washington Post: "Two in Iraq, one in Afghanistan. Two as a Marine and one in the Army. Two as a woman and one as a man."

Unless you served in a different branch of the US Army at a different time than I did, nothing is as simple or easy as it seems-such as letting Shane KEEP serving.

Page Four-The Back Page: It's been a busy week around here with a potential overload of potential posts for all of you! So in the mean time, I hope you dodged the big time storms in the middle of the country this week and have a good week to come! Hugs to all!

It's NOT That Difficult

I am in Cincinnati, Ohio. Today, on the heels of yesterday's mega coverage of  Prez Obama coming out against gay/transgender conversion therapy-the local tragic(local) Leelah Alcorn suicide story was featured. Then today, yet another story of a teen trans suicide went public.
It occurred to me (again) we are missing something here (other than the obvious). Maybe missing the forest for the trees. If I was writing my own version of "Parenting a Transgender Child for Dummies", here are my basics:

1. You face a Very REAL 41% chance of your child committing suicide.  COUNT on it.
2. YOUR Child will be bullied- COUNT on it. Remember too-bullying is a multi generational institution. Others kids learn it.
3. Monitor your child's social media. Bully's live like cock roaches on social media and often are just as intelligent.
4. Religion may help YOU-but not your child. Jesus is not walking down the hall at school with your child. 
5. Each case/child is different but you and your child are NOT alone-increasingly so.
6. Remember the "P" words. This is not a phase but then again your child can grow into the many different layers of growth. If protected and nurtured.
7. Understand you are raising a very unique and special child.
8. There is NO luck to this. It's what you make of it.
9. The chance of you mourning a child you never really knew is VERY real. 
10. You CAN help.

Rest assured I am not qualified to write a book such as this. On the other hand if we are ever going to stop this insanity, we are going to have to go to the parents with grass roots efforts. - and make the parents of bully's criminally liable.  

Pounding Square Pegs into Round Holes

I'm sure you remember the tragic story of young transgender girl Leelah Alcorn. It turns out White House senior adviser Valerie Jarrett said President Barack Obama was moved by her story of and has called for the end of conversion therapies — the type of therapy that triggered the suicide of Leelah.

In a statement posted along side a 120,000-signature petition to end conversion- on a White House website, Jarrett wrote:

“We share your concern about its potentially devastating effects on the lives of transgender as well as gay, lesbian, bisexual and queer youth. As part of our dedication to protecting America’s youth, this administration supports efforts to ban the use of conversion therapy for minors.”

In addition, when you visit the White House now, there will be a transgender friendly bathroom for you too. At least until the next Prez takes over.  

By the way:  Conversion” or “reparative” therapy lacks solid scientific backing, but is the therapy of choice by conservative leaders. (brain washing)

You can read more on this story here and as Momma Karma would have it, yesterday was another day when another person showed their support for the Leelah Alcorn "Fix Society" bumper sticker on my car.

Leelah Remembered!

Another huge positive Saturday night happened before Liz and I even got out of the car and walked into the restaurant to meet the rest of the party.  We were sitting there when a generic walked by my car and mentioned my bumper sticker. She asked us where could she get one because it was a needless tragedy.

The one above has wintered on my back window pretty well and I was impressed when a civilian stopped to comment and show support on her own.  Sadly, I couldn't tell her-but-I am asking round now. So if any of you want one, let me know.

She's Baaaack!

I am back again on my PC and all is well again in my web world.  Recapping a couple of  items from the Sunday Edition this week, the military was in the transgender news with Chelsea Manning and beyond. Chelsea won the approval to be called "she/woman" and  the U.S. Army has taken a step that makes it more difficult to discharge transgender troops, but other branches of the armed forces have yet to follow.

The Army announced Friday that it was elevating authority to discharge transgender service members from local to the assistant secretary of the Army for manpower and reserve affairs, the highest level to which that authority has ever been assigned.  “In essence, the announcement places a moratorium on dismissals by requiring officers to explain their decision to discharge a transgender soldier to a high-ranking civilian leader, a move many would view as potentially damaging to their careers,” reports USA Today.

We also spotlighted a story on transgender model Andreja Pejic. (above left)  She told Gay Star News about the ten years it has taken her to get to this point in her life. In the article Andreja spoke of knowing the possibility of a MtF gender transition was possible as early as 13, but was hesitant for career reasons and now says there are other trans models in the closet for the same reason.She also mentioned the Leelah Alcorn tragedy. Follow the link above for more.

Finally, a couple of you commented on the addition of a direct link to "Frock Magazine" on the top right hand side of the blog:

1. Sally BendMarch 6, 2015 at 1:39 PM

   Very cool idea putting Frock directly on the front page, hon. What I did was create a page for it within my blog, and then just update the cover image/link on my front page for each issue
2. Pat ScalesMarch 6, 2015 at 2:52 PM

   It was an excellent article in Frock. I am proud of you for your contributions to the T community. We are a diverse bunch in terms of age, interest, proclivities and needs and you surely fill a spot in the T world.
   Pat
3. Thanks to both of you ladies!  In fact Sally, Katie Glover, the editor of Frock mentioned the same idea to me!  And, Pat, Katie and I had actually been "chatting" back and forth for over a year before we could come up with an idea which would possibly work.  Thanks so much for the compliments!!!

Cyrsti's Condo "Sunday Edition"

Ker Plunk!!! Another Sunday version of our week in review has hit your Sunday virtual front porch. Yep-still very cold and very snowy where I am in Ohio. So, warm jammies and a hot cup o joe are standing by!

Page 1.- Live Long and Prosper!  Very recently, Leonard Nimoy passed away.  If you are one of the few who doesn't know, Nimoy played Spock on Star Trek which debuted in the 1960's.  The original show only lasted three years but became legendary later.  I found it interesting NBC tried to get rid of Spock's ears because of adverse "devil worship" mail. (Some things never change!) Remembering back to the original show, I knew I loved the women character's costumes and my own particular fave phrase from the show was "Beam me up Scotty, there is no intelligent life down here!"

Page 2.- Unsocial Media?  Last night, I was invited to a charity event called "Dayton Knockout". It was held in Dayton, Ohio an was a very amateur boxing event. The woman sitting right behind me has been a very close friend for years and was one of the people who was very instrumental to me increasingly coming out of the closet.  Last night, her daughter was actually one of the boxers last night. We were up on the stage, very close to the ring.  As I look at the picture for the first time, I wonder just what the hell did I get on my leggings?  The fun part was, not 15 minutes after the picture was taken, I got a text from my daughter asking (laughingly) what I was doing there.  Really? I asked her just what she was doing camped out on her computer (on Facebook?) and no, I was actually in Milwaukee. (well not really)

Page 3.- The Week that Was or Wasn't.  Predictably, transgender news was all over the spectrum.  In my home territory, Cincinnati, Ohio still seems to be searching for the real reasons behind Leelah Alcorn's suicide. We read a very positive story about young "Zay"- a story of what is possible when a transgender child is raised by understanding parents. But then comes another story of a tragic successful suicide attempt by a young transgender woman of color in Maryland- Melonie Rose. I still find it unfathomable a parent would literally sacrifice their child for being trans.

Page 4.- The Back Page.-  Borrowing a quote from yet another Sci Fi classic: "May the Force be with all of You this Week!" Thanks for stopping by Cyrsti's Condo.

The "Ripple Effect"

Unfortunately I drive past the exact spot Leelah Alcorn's life came to an end (and a truck driver's undoubtedly changed forever) - at least once a week and sometimes at night.  To say the least, it is a dark, desolate and busy stretch of road at night.  If it is possible though, the setting makes the whole story seem even more tragic and surreal.  But on the bright side, many are not forgetting the world's loss - as you will read in this article from Cincinnati.Com. It which recaps the events since Leelah's suicide:

The suicide nearly two months ago of Warren County (near Cincinnati) teenager Leelah Alcorn triggered a national soul-searching about gender identity, suicide, parent-child relationships and social progress.

Global attention to Alcorn's death came amid growing awareness of the transgender experience, particularly in the past three years with the shot to stardom of actress Laverne Cox. Less than a week before Alcorn's death, movie stars Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie announced that their 8-year-old child, a girl named Shiloh at birth, preferred to be called John and to wear boy's clothes. Olympic gold medalist and reality-TV star Bruce Jenner isreportedly transitioning, at 65, from male to female.

The Internet ignited and fueled the conversation about Alcorn. She posted a wrenching suicide note on the social media site Tumblr that flashed across the world. (The Tumblr posting has since been taken down.) A friend also posted Alcorn's selfie posing in a dress, a photograph that artists adapted around the world. That was only the beginning:

• The #leelahalcorn Twitter hashtag continues to generate rolling traffic. A petition drew thousands of signatures urging Congress to ban therapy that aims to dissuade people with questions about gender identity or sexual expression.

• Vigils were held in Cincinnati, across Ohio and the nation in Alcorn's memory; demonstrations were held as far away as New Zealand.

And there is more.  Go here to check it out!!!

Cyrsti's Condo "Sunday Edition"

Ker Plunk! Another version of our Sunday Special.  Around the Condo at least - it's another morning for nice snuggy jammies and a hot cup o joe!

Page 1.- The Week that Was-or Wasn't.  Again this week, the ever evolving transgender story seemed to take a back seat to the "polar vortex" which froze the eastern part of the country.  My understanding is this one came from Siberia.  One of the positives I guess is I learned a little better how Siberian women dress. 

Page 2.- One Person at a Time. I am nearly to the point where I have lost track of my counts of how many civilians I have come to know now. As we have talked about around here, when the world sees you interacting as just another individual in their world, doors open with most. The nice part is some want to do more than just know or like you-they want to embrace you. Over the years I have chatted with countless individuals who really need friends to reach out to. I don't know how long these "meet up" groups have been going on but if you are interested in finding "friends" or acquaintances, Google "Meet Up.com". and see if there are any groups in your area. Plus it is possible for you to even start one.  It's an excellent way for people to see you as more than a transgender person.

Page 3.- Transgender Vets. Seemingly every week I discover others who's stories very closely follow mine.  By now, most all of you know I am a transgender veteran, but not many know my first wife was also in the military. In fact, we met in Germany in 1974.  This week I discovered another military/trans couple after I read Marcia's blog.  She is a naval vet and her husband Angel served in the Coast Guard.  With all the coming out stories flooding all the media's, I just have to believe we are on the cusp of more and more trans vets coming out of their closets.  After all, the military is a well known place to attempt to "solve"-unsolvable gender issues.

Page 4.- Leelah Remembered. Fortunately, at least in her hometown and beyond Leelah Alcorn's tragic suicide continues to reverberate. More coming up in our next post!

Leelah's and Lindsey's Legacy?

Of course Leelah Alcorn's suicide and plea for help has tragically come and gone.  Part of her legacy around here (from where she was from) is turning out to be a continuing discussion of what it means to be transgender.  WKRC TV, the CBS affiliate in Cincy recently produced a special on transwoman Lindsey Deaton.(Left)

  Lindsey is one of the rare transgender women who has been able to transition during a long term marriage to a generic. She is also very visible in the local community. I have added a link below to the story and video.  My disclaimer is in the past we have had a difficult time with WKRC's links.  Check this one!

Go here

Tear Down the Walls?

This story was one of the leads last night on Channel 12 TV in Cincinnati:

" SHARONVILLE, Ohio (Angenette Levy) -- The pastor of Leelah Alcorn's church has written a blog discussing the need to "tear down walls" in reference to transgender issues.

Pastor Tim Tripp works at the Northeast Church of Christ. He posted on his blog February 11. The post "Can Tragedy Bring Us Together?" details Tripp's thoughts on Alcorn's suicide and the transgender issue.

Tripp wrote, "I can't help but wonder what would happen if people on both sides of the wall would stop thinking of ways to vent their anger on both sides of the wall would stop thinking of ways to vent their anger toward the other side but instead just reach over the wall and grab a hand on the other side."

Alcorn's suicide sparked outrage and sadness around the world. She wrote a suicide note in which she discussed the need for gender issues to be taught in school. She also said her death needed to mean something.

Lindsey Deaton, who identifies as a transgender woman, was overjoyed by the blog post.

"How amazing. How wonderful. He has reached out. He has written. There is something, I mean this is a really big gesture," Deaton said.  "This is a huge gesture so number one I'm really thankful and grateful and I am a believer. I'm Roman Catholic so my first thought was wow, God is good all the time, God is good all of the time. That's my reaction."

Go here for this promising story.  In addition, Channel 12 I believe is doing a follow up story on Lindsey Deaton.  Go here for more.

Carnival Barkers?

Yesterday, when I visited my daughter, one her her comments was: "My friends want to know what you (me) think about Bruce Jenner."

I just said "A clown show waiting to happen."  Nothing against him, but I will continue to pronoun "him" until he happens to come out, but I just expect the worse.  Sort of like Zoey Tur's comment last night that Jenner's HRT transition meds could have contributed to his tragic wreck. Really???  I guess I better be extra careful since I am on HRT and depression medicine too. Nice job putting the idea in everyone's noggin that we transgender women and men maybe "danger's" on the road.

The only lesson to be learned is no one is an expert and who the hell dug up Zoey Tur anyhow? Surely there maybe someone like Eden Lane (left)  out there, who is truly qualified? But I digress:

Back to my rant - Cognoscenti says it best:

Leelah Alcorn might still be with us had her painful gender odyssey attracted the empathetic national attention Diane Sawyer is reportedly about to shower on Bruce Jenner. But the struggles of a 17-year-old transgender girl from rural Ohio could never compete with the call of the carnival barker.

Few knew her name until Leelah, née Joshua, stepped in front of a tractor-trailer on Interstate 71 20 miles outside Cincinnati a few days after Christmas, one of the 41 percent of transgender people who attempt suicide, according to a 2010 report by the National Center for Transgender Equality and the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force. Figures about those, like Leelah, who die by suicide are harder to come by in a society that acknowledges transgender people only when they turn up on a hit Netflix or Amazon series, claim Sonny & Cher as parents or grace the front of a Wheaties cereal box.

Follow the link above for more!

Cyrsti's Condo "Sunday Edition"

"Kerplunk!" another edition of our Sunday Edition has just hit your virtual front porch!  Get your hot "Cup o Joe" snuggle in your fave jammies and lets get started:


Page One: The Week that Was or Wasn't. Across the country, news from the transgender world seemed to slow a bit with stories such as the "Transparent" television success and the "Leelah Alcorn" tragedy seemed to fade a bit. Speaking of Leelah, Liz and I were traveling up the very busy Interstate Highway 75 between Cincinnati and Dayton, Ohio yesterday and she noticed a very androgynous fellow driver in another car looking at us. Perhaps, she saw my "Leelah-Fix Society" bumper sticker?
Page Two: I Was Misquoted?"  No actually, I wasn't but what I wrote was taken out of context. Here it is:

FABULOUSCONNIEDEEJanuary 24, 2015 at 4:49 PM " Cyrsti, I have a challenge for you....Is not your statement, "almost as big as being a cross dresser to being a transgender person" something that a trans nazi might say? Well, it certainly sounds like something a "proud member" of a certain social network has said in the past (still being said, probably, but I divorced myself from that network years ago). I ask this because sometimes we may not be aware of "what we is or what we aint". ;) "  Yups Connie you are right and over the years I did grow up in the community (as you did Connie) with a forced understanding of where I "belonged" in a system with transsexuals at the top and cross dressers at the bottom. My fault was I did not add my usual disclaimer to what I wrote. First off, I never ever want to sound like I am insulting anyone who cross dresses and definitely DO NOT want to infer I would be putting myself up on any sort of pedestal-ever. Please forgive me if I do! Thanks Connie!

Page Three: What's Up Doc? Last week, I wrote about my first visit to an endocrinologist who cared more whole heartedly about my gender transitional well being. Actually, a Veteran's Administration assigned Doc. I know it is easy for me to sit here and write about taking advantage of nearly free medical care as I continue down my HRT road-but not having it can be problematic to your health. Real problematic. My new Doc even called me personally Friday night at 6 to "re consult" with me about taking me off the estrogen pill and putting me on the patch because it would be easier on my liver.  Are you kidding me? I can't remember the last time I got a personal call from a Doctor and at 6 at night? I thought he was going to tell me I was going to die!
Page Four: The Back Page-Editorial:  Age gives you a certain confidence that you have seen it all.  Going through a gender transition tosses all of that into the dumpster as I continue to experience. On one hand all the new "bright and shiny" new toys I get to play with are wonderful, on the other, I still wonder how anyone could ever think a transgender person is going through all of this because we merely want to. I have any number of things I want and quite a few I need. I want a new car and my grand kids to be happy but I needed to transition to save my life.


Everyone have a great week! The Goddess willing and the creeks don't rise-we will be back next week with another Cyrsti's Condo "Sunday Edition."

Activism versus Advocacy?

Recently, I have written seemingly tons of posts here in Cyrsti's Condo concerning the Leelah Alcorn tragedy and it's aftermath.  And- I have received tons of response too.  The difference for me now is, I am receiving input not only through the blog but also through places such as Facebook,  Google+ and through personal interaction.  Even my personal interaction is different because of all the different groups I'm interacting with. For the most part, no one I have run into has ever encountered another transgender person.

On Google+, Jenny sent me a great comment questioning (among other things) the true reasons certain individuals or groups of peeps are now jumping on the transgender "band wagon." Specifically she used my example of the mayor of Dayton, Ohio speaking at the recent Leelah Alcorn vigil. Why and were there hidden political reasons? I believe she did feel terrible about the tragedy but yes it is true - Dayton has an ever growing strong LGBT presence. I'm sure an "advisor" was speaking to her political need to be there.

Certainly, I can't speak to the longevity of any political support-except to say- both mayoral candidates in Dayton supported LGBT groups.  To the most jaded of you all (included me) I say-follow the money!  While so many of the well heeled bible thumpers have concentrated on building castles, LGB groups have been building communities. All of the sudden, we "T"s are becoming visible.  Tragically, Leelah never realized how close she was.

Also, around central and southwestern Ohio at least, all any city of any size only has to look at the example of the very diverse LGBT society in Columbus, Ohio as a model of economic success.  A subject for another post!

So, I think when considering the longevity of any transgender acceptance movement, you have to "follow the money." In my geographic area (which is considered far less than liberal except for Columbus) the more trans women and transgender men who are able to establish themselves in jobs, the more advocates we will have and the fewer activists we will need.

In House Diversity?

Of interest Saturday night to me during the Leelah Alcorn vigil in Dayton, Ohio, was the "in house" diversity in attendance.  Fortunately, the great majority of the attendees were young TGLBQ women and men and the "T" was not silent.  Most certainly, the L's and G's of the group just maybe are coming to realize how much trouble the transgender community is in.  In fact, Kevin of the Dayton, Ohio area chapter of GLSEN and gay is one in the trenches helping local chapters in schools.

Others in attendance other than I mentioned, ran the gamut as I said.  Racquel and I sat next to a lesbian couple and behind us was a transgender woman old enough to make me look young!!!  Then, there were several transgender men in attendance including Draco and a couple trans men who I had only known on stage as drag kings.  Plus, even the largest predominately gay dance club was represented.

Finally, even a couple of transgender dinosaurs in the crowd were asked to speak. The idea was sound but it was the wrong place at the wrong time. Here's how it played out. One of the trans women got up and briefly told her story of getting "blown up and out" of her job years ago at an old Dayton job she had.  A worthwhile experience to be sure, but when she then went into a name dropping exercise of knowing the "Who's Who" of transgender culture such as Jennifer Boyle - I am fairly sure the younger part of the crowd was internally drawing a collective yawn. (I was) Then another "more mature" trans woman spoke and promptly mentioned to not forget how we transgender women and men discriminate against each other too. To be sure, true- but again not the right platform or soap box for her "airing of grievances." Moral to the story...do NOT let us talk to a mixed young crowd!!! ME included! (I wasn't asked and that is a GOOD thing!)

My personal fave of the evening was the little girl sitting on the floor below me. I was sitting at a front church pew at the end.  She was dressed head to toe in the pink and blue transgender color scheme. Seriously, I have no idea if she was trans at all but she was young enough to look like a kid at Christmas peering around the corner waiting for Santa! At the least, she learned tons and walked away as a diverse young ally!

Oh, by the way, I forgot to mention the four Dayton cop cars who were providing security- a very sobering thought. And the Dayton mayor spoke-nice!!!

Fix Society

My new "bumper sticker"!

Cyrsti's Condo "Sunday Edition"

"Ker Plunk!" Another Sunday Edition has hit your virtual front porch!  Get that hot "cup o joe" of yours ready to go and lets get started.
Page One: Is the Third Time a Charm?  Yes, and no-last night I attended my third Leelah Alcorn vigil in the area in which I live. The one last night was in Dayton, Ohio and oddly was a different take in many ways on the same tragic circumstance.  Outside of a few "more mature" speakers, the evening was for the transgender youth packed into a small church.  Afterward, my transgender woman friend Racquel talked with me about the changes she has seen just over the past years.  Here is part of her Facebook post:

Many Ohio trans people have been brutally murdered in the past couple years. In Cleveland, Betty Skinner—a disabled trans woman—was beaten to death. Brittany Stergis was shot in the head. Ce Ce Dove (referred to as an oddly dressed man) was stabbed several times, tied to a cinder block and thrown in a lake. In Toledo, Candice Milligan was called "tranny" and "a dude in a dress" then beaten unconscious. Police said, "This may have been because of his sexual orientation."

In the first reports, they were all treated as defective freaks. The right pronouns weren't used and the word "transgender" never came up. To be fair, eventually the stories got partially updated. But I think we owe Leelah for really bringing the issue out in the open.

We also discussed the racial aspect to all of this, which I am going to write about in a future post.

Page Two: The Good News or the Bad News?  Last night, I walked away from the vigil last night with many, many positives.  However, being a veteran of many corporate brain washing meetings over the years-  I just wonder if weeks, months and years later, how much of the Leelah Alcorn story will be remembered?  I know a group in her hometown Cincinnati, Ohio is attempting to raise money for a memorial for Leelah.  Being the cynic I am though, I know a couple high schoolers who don't even know who John Hancock was and why was the guy in the statue dressed funny? How's the memorial working for John? But- One of the reasons I think Leelah just won't fade away as quickly as many would like her too, were the youth I saw stand up and speak their peace and define their young transgender lives in Dayton (last night) and Cincinnati (a week ago).  I was so impressed with how so many people are working in the trenches such as GLSEN who are trying to do such a difficult job!

Page Three:  Steve Harvey.  Steve Harvey has become a huge media personality and like so many others, came from extremely humble roots in Cleveland, Ohio. This morning, I heard an interview with him. Along the way, he spoke of the ten or so jobs he found and quit before he began the struggle to be a comedian. One in particular I remember. He said, I was working this assembly line job but I was putting more time into entertaining and telling jokes, so I quit.  The job just wasn't him. Doesn't that describe our lives as transgender women and men?  The same as Steve Harvey, we just got tired of entertaining the world as someone we weren't?

Page Four:  The Back Page.  As always, I appreciate you all for stopping by Cyrsti's Condo-with out all of you- nothing else matters!!!!! (Well, maybe nothing else!) You don't have to be good-just be safe Connie!

Cyrsti's Condo "House Keeping!"

As I wrote in my last post, there are tons of items to get caught up with here in the "Condo"-

First, let's not forget THE Ohio State Buckeyes won the first NCAA National College Football Championship!  Go BUX!!!!

Secondly, I don't know if all you regulars around here know that when she gets out of the rubber room she is confined to, The Fabulous Connie Dee's sarcastic sense of humor is far and beyond the best I have encountered.  A classic feminine- stick the stiletto heel in your back-while she runs as you are laughing. 

This comment was a reference to my radio interview with a teen therapist (who happened to be a Christian) who attends the same church with the Leelah Alcorn family:

FABULOUSCONNIEDEE

Is a trans fly one that dresses up like a butterfly? You could light on the cross in the church, which would make you cross dressing. You'd be all the buzz. No swats, but there could be moth balls involved. Tom (therapist) would surely break out with a "Him"......LOVE IT! I remember looking for cartoons like this in playboy's and trans magazines (all bought by me..lol) when i was younger. or maybe a "refrain", anyway. My mother always told me to be pun-ctual for church - Sorry!

 

Interestingly, Liz and I met another transgender entertainer from the Cincinnati area Saturday night by the name of Debi.

 

When the institution let Connie out again, she came up with this: " I have always thought that it would be fun to have a silk purse in the shape of a sow's ear. That, at least, goes toward attitude and confidence; maybe even friendliness as a conversation piece. Some rely on FFS to overcome physical detriments, but my FFS is a bit different in that it stands for "Fast and Friendly Smile". :-)"

 

I second the emotion about FFS- my greatest transgender "passing priviledge" comes from my smile.

 

And, as Pat added:  An old mentor told me that you can't make a silk purse out of a sow's ear. That does not mean all is lost.
Attitude, confidence, friendliness and acceptance of others will overcome physical detriments.

 

Finally, Alicia responded to the classic "cartoon" we posted:  LOVE IT! I remember looking for cartoons like this in playboy's and trans magazines (all bought by me..lol) when I was younger.

 

As always, thanks so much!!!

 

 

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The Tortoise and the Hair

As I stood on the Woodward Theater Stage Saturday night during the Leelah Alcorn vigil in Cincinnati Saturday night with thirty plus other transgender persons of all types - of course I wondered what was and is about my life.  We all were encouraged to get up on the stage and honor the memory of Leelah by letting the world know there is so much more to our uncover, closeted world than anyone knows.

When the microphone came to me, in front of 600 people, I said "I'm Cyrsti Hart, a PROUD transgender veteran and senior citizen."  Casually looking through the crowd during the evening, I'm fairly sure I was close to one of the oldest in the room.  I'm the gender survivor with the HRT changes and the hugely age inappropriate hair.

Since my hair became long enough to discard all my wigs, it has defined my transition to the world.  Age inappropriate or not, I use a version of one of Aesop's Fables to explain the life of my hair. Looking back, one of the less than the happiest moments of my life, was when I was riding a night bus into Ft. Knox in January of 1972 to begin Army basic training. Literally, several a few of the other guys on the bus were crying. I was lucky, I was older (21) and had been away from home in college.  Plus, I had several other friends who had been through the Vietnam Army experience came back and coached me.

A few days later in basic, it was haircut time.  The "barbers" were having a great time asking all of us how we would like out hair cut, when there was only one choice- gone!  I look at that point in my life as the beginning of where I am today.  It may have taken me awhile like the tortoise in the fable but I have made it to a point of being able to have age inappropriate hair. Sure, genetics have played a part, but I prefer to think karma has too.

Overall, the memories Saturday, just refueled the tragic frustration I feel about Leelah Alcorn's suicide and the surviving transgender youth who told their stories on the stage. I came away just knowing as much as I think I do-I'm missing way too many of the answers.