Cyrsti's Condo "Sunday Edition"

"Ker Plunk!" Another robust version of the Cyrsti's Condo "Sunday Edition" has hit your virtual front porch. Get ready, it's been a busy one around here!


Page One: Tragedy Strikes.  If Leelah Alcorn wanted her suicide to "mean something" it has.  The LGBTQ community has responded with vigils beginning in her hometown of Cincinnati and spanning the globe all the way to New Zealand-so far.  This last week, I attended vigils in Springfield and Cincinnati, Ohio plus made a radio show appearance with an actual therapist who knew "Josh" and never managed (refused) to call her Leelah. 

Cincinnati's WCPO TV reported an estimated 600 people attended.  It was a moving experience as all of the trans women and men (young and old) were encouraged to appear on stage.  The courageous transgender youth were encouraged to tell their stories - which they did.  I came away from the evening knowing it takes more than a village to nourish a young transgender youth, it takes a city.

To all of you who have refused to mention another true clueless victim to all of this tragedy-the truck driver was mentioned too.

Page Two: I'm Invisible at Saks?  I'm a simple person with a simple noggin.  (Calm down with the cheap shots Connie, Bobbie and all!!)  So, I can never quite figure when a company seemingly draws a line in the sand and decides to support discriminating against one of it's transgender women employees:  In December 2014, Saks Fifth Avenue responded to a sex discrimination lawsuit filed by Leyth O. Jamal, a former employee at a Saks store in Texas who claims she was harassed, then fired, for being a trans woman. Saks could have fought Jamal’s suit by insisting that her claims of harassment are false, or that she was terminated for reasons unrelated to her gender. But instead, Saks has claimed that it has a legal right to discriminate against trans employees based on their trans status...Huh? Really? Of course, there are several theories of why Saks would screw this up so bad- go here to read one and stay the hell out of Saks where you are invisible anyhow.


Page Three: Move Over Bitches.  After the vigil last night, Liz and I went to an ancient looking tavern down the street called Motr Pub.  We had never been there, but were attracted by the sign on the window that they had "writer's night" every Tuesday-so in we went.  I knew I was in the right place when a guy who seemed to be a manager was wearing a jacket with a "Zappa for President" patch.  Before too long, the place began to fill up with 20 and 30 something's before the band began to play.  Also (all too soon) the Hudepohl draft beer I was drinking caught up with me and I was headed to the women's room.  The first visit was quiet and harmless enough but my second became interesting when I came out of my stall right into three rather predatory blonds looking at me.  I thought Whoa! said "excuse me" and headed to the sinks-washed my hands and left.  As I returned to my seat next to Liz, I asked her for the proper "generic protocol" for bitches on "man prowl" in the restroom.  She said they weren't much interested in me except to size me up and I did well.
Page Four: The Back Page.  As I said, it has been quite the week.  All of the sudden, I was in the right place at the right time to rethink how I pay forward into the transgender community. More on those ideas later! Thanks for stopping by Cyrsti's Condo!

Why I'm Leelah Alcorns Greatest Nightmare

And why I could have been her greatest hope.

As you remember, she had written she didn't want to go through life looking like a "man in drag"  It's no secret I have struggled with "passing privilege" my entire life and not the example I would want to show a young transgender girl.  Then again, I do.

I wanted to show her I could have been her greatest hope.  After all, at the least, transgender people like me are survivors. We have been through the taunts, the rejections and the suicide attempts.  With, or without our families we have made it.  If Leelah was sitting in front of me today, I could say yes it does get better to an extent but changes more.

I thought it was interesting Tom, the moderator/therapist of the show (who continually pleaded ignorance on LGBTQ issues) wasn't ignorant enough to not mention one person who went through SRS, lived as a woman for years and now wants to go back to living as a man.  About that time I was trying to call back the final part of the show and rejoin the discussion-but couldn't get back in.

You see Leelah, it would be easy for me to brush off your 17 year old ideas of finality. What you see at 17 is a brush with reality and far from final.  Don't we all know the kids in high school who peaked then?  Tom, could mention attempting to reverse a sex change after 30 years but didn't have the information about puberty blocking medications?  It just seems to me a person who deals with teen counseling would have some sort of idea.

I'm biased of course but if Leelah was my child, I would recommend the puberty blockers as a "hedge bet".

So yes, I am the person (quoting Tom) who sounded "like a man" on the phone. (I do) but Leelah, it's so sad no one encouraged you to go on puberty hold. The gender landscape is changing so rapidly, your future would have been so bright and not similar at all to mine. Plus, due to length considerations on the radio (I assume) no mention was made of the family's desire to pull Leelah out of school.  I didn't bring it up because I am not sure of the extent of the accuracy.

Plus, lost in all of this is the semi truck driver who was just making a living.  Does Leelah's church pray for him?

Between A Rock and a Hard Place And a ----

I really did not know what to expect from today's radio show on WAIF in Cincinnati.  I come away from it still not knowing.  I want to thank Connie and others for your support.  The show was moderated by a teen therapist with a lesbian and I called in for the first half hour and then for approximately ten minutes later.The therapist actually knew Leelah but only as Josh and was definitely trying to walk a type rope over a canyon he knew nothing about.  Then again I question if he wanted to understand at all.

Bowing to forces he would not identify, he refused to use Leelah's first name, referring to her only as "Alcorn."  I pretty much stuck by my guns and went in for the understanding of transgender youth everywhere.  I have to say, he was pretty slick.  He would say if one of his three teen children was transgender, he would support them and he wasn't a Christian therapist -he was a therapist who was Christian.  Then, later on he said "Alcorn's parents didn't know the extent of his concerns." I just said aren't they the parents and shouldn't they?

About this time another transgender woman called and waded in, with more force than I and with the same results-none.  I was remembering about what Racquel told me about fundamental conservative Christians at this point, "They would simply circle their wagons, find others to blame and move on."  Racquel was right and I'm not so sure I wasn't wasting an hour or so out of my life today.

As far as the lesbian co-host went, she was typical too. I wouldn't expect her to spend her life worrying much about the differences in sexuality and gender anyhow. She had her own "cross to bear" coming out to a Pentecostal/ Baptist family. No fun doing that.

So my expectations were exceeded - zero plus zero equals zero.  The therapy peep will to go back to his peeps with no perceived real knowledge or sympathy. After all,  "don't all 17 year old's rebel against their parents like this?" And, by the way, how does Cyrsti get through life if his er her voice sounds like a man on the phone?

The world goes on, I just wish I could have slowed it down a bit more.

Remembering Leelah on the Radio

Recently, I have made a mention of my invite to join in on a radio discussion of LGBTQ suicide on a radio station close to Leelah Alcorn's hometown.

Thursday (tomorrow) WAIF radio in Cincinnati, will have a diverse set of individuals (including me) along with a local (conservative Christian) minister concerning LGBT issues with the church and families. The discussion will be moderated by a therapist, Thomas Cox, from  NKY. (Northern Kentucky University) The show runs from 12-2 (EST) and you can hear it on the link above.

So, if  I can manage to not get kicked off before I start, maybe I can add a bit of reality to the discussion.We know the reality of being transgender is not a choice it's a need but most religions don't. I simply don't understand why, probably as much as they don't understand me.  But, they need to know I am not their enemy and I deserve the same respect.  If they think I am going to hell-well- I may think I could see them there.

Call me an alarmist but  religion in this country is now following politics into a  highly polarized state, which is not good.  All of the sudden, (it seems more and more) if you are a conservative politically it follows you have to be a socially/religiously conservative person.   And, whatever happened to a loving caring God?

The only thing I do know is tomorrow we won't be able to come up with all the big answers we need. At the least though, it's going to be nice to talk about them.

Trans Activist?

Was 2014 the year of the "Transgender Activist?" Just exactly how does one define being an "activist?" Are we talking Laverne Cox, Janet Mock or you and I?  From Pat, Paula, Stana, Mandy and all of you who contribute thoughts here, most certainly you are all activists.

I bring it up here in Cyrsti's Condo because at the age of 65, all of the sudden, it's my chance to talk the talk and "walk the walk." as a transgender woman.  I was proud to do it last night as  Racquel (trans woman friend) and I joined a candlelight vigil for Leelah Alcorn here in my hometown of Springfield, Ohio (60,000 pop). Plus, we will be at the vigil Saturday in nearby Dayton. I have also been approached by groups in both towns to help establish outreach groups.  I feel a real need to help because last night (10 degrees, windy, two blocks from a 5 alarm fire, and approx one week notice)-  35 people braved the conditions to remember Leelah, but only three of us were actually out transgender women.

So just being there last night made us an activists because "ally's" could see Racquel and I , talk to us, and we could again wedge our way into a very much gay/lesbian dominated local equality group.

In my own noggin, I do believe times "are a changing" quickly which makes the Leelah Alcorn suicide all the more frustrating and tragic. If I'm lucky, I can channel all my jabbering into coherent thoughts about why I believe that, intermixed with ideas of why we are not the enemies of fundamental Christians on a Cincinnati radio discussion show Thursday.

Details coming up!

Cyrsti's Condo "Sunday Edition"

"Kerplunk!" Good morning kids, the first Condo Sunday Edition of 2015 has hit your virtual front porch!  Get a hot steamy cup o joe, curl up in those new Christmas "jammies" and lets get started.


Page 1.- The Week that Was - or Wasn't.  The new year started on an incredibly sad and tragic note when the ongoing epidemic of transgender suicides hit home.  This time, incredibly close to us in the Condo area.  Unless you are living in a cave or in one of my Facebook groups where sharing stupid pictures of yourself is more important than commenting-you have heard of 17 year old transgender girl Leelah Alcorn's suicide on New Years Eve. Around here in Ohio, her memory is being honored with vigils.  The first was held around here in Cincinnati, then Springfield and Dayton-both just up the road.  Two points.  The first was the number one news station in Cincy had a lengthy story on the vigil this morning with the proper pronouning AND (THANKS!) reported vigils are happening as far away as London, England! It makes a difference Paula and Vicki and all you trans girls across the pond.
And two:  of course Leelah's bigoted parents are still reportedly calling her their son but as a transgender community we are gaining ally's and understanding again from people on the edge. The ones who didn't really know much.  It's tough, a very positive happening from the worst of all circumstances-a young transgender woman offering herself up as a martyr. 
Page 2.-Cha-Cha-Changes.  The end of 2014 marked my third year on HRT-almost.  I say almost because when I started my minimum dosage of HRT, when I wanted to step up my dosage (under medical care) I had to go through six months of bureaucratic B.S. with the Veterans Administration to claim my benefits as a transgender veteran.  Somewhere along the line, I heard it takes around three years for the hormonal effects to really set in. I am a complete believer in the timeline now after November/December of last year, I believe it.  All of the sudden, I went on some sort of fast forward mode mentally and physically.
Page 3.- The Back Page.  Looking ahead, it seems the world as a whole and in my little universe can't move any faster than it has recently.  I think!  Personally, my hopes for growth in 2015 are overwhelmingly in the spiritual area.  I hope what ever dreams you all have for the new year are achievable and come true. Look at it this way though, if you don't have dreams-that's the biggest tragedy of all.  Thanks for visiting Cyrsti's Condo!! Luv ya all!

The Best New Years Post EVER?

I suppose I get jaded, OK, I am jaded.


Plus, since I have written a daily blog for well over three years now, I know how difficult it is to maintain perspective.


Yesterday, I saw "perspective" on a transgender stage I don't normally see when I made my regular visit to Stana's Femulate blog. Stana very simply, posted a before and after picture of herself. I was blown away. Whoa I thought, that's huge.  It took a lot for me to post my "before" picture here in the blog long ago in one of my side pages. I suppose first I was afraid, then as I transitioned, the person I saw wasn't me.  I wondered if anyone else cared and why?


Since I have been a regular visitor to her blog, I know Stana has struggled over the question of coming out and living as her natural self for awhile now. Seemingly, her picture on one of the most visited cross dressing/transgender based blogs anywhere answered a ton of questions.


We all know though, there is a huge jump from identifying as a cross dresser to a transgender person. I have never made a value judgment on who does or doesn't make the jump. Plus, I also know from experience, many never do. Many reasons are ironically rooted in the same male lives we are/were stuck in. You know, shut up, suck it up, don't complain and move on-be a man.  Of course, doing this makes our plight all so more serious. Take Leelah Alcorn for example, reportedly,  her Dad still is calling her his son. I have a long term friend who refuses to even consider he may be trans get out of one marriage to a very unsupportive spouse and within a couple months get engaged at the age of 65.  I asked did he find it important to tell his new fiancé? Of course he didn't. This is the guy who "posed" as a generic woman for over a year on a site and built a whole new life...catfishing?


Those are just a few of the main reasons I most certainly applaud Stana for being one of the ultimate "mentors/role models" I have had the pleasure of ever meeting.  Forget the gorgeous part, I go to her obvious love of living her life on it's own terms. She is not alone, so many of other of you visitors to Cyrsti's Condo speak to the same idea of shedding your gender bonds. If you haven't yet:


Stana is living proof you can do it!!!

Transgender Christians?

I promise I am going to begin to pull back from the Leelah Alcorn story.   In the meantime, I urge you all to check out the comments to the Cyrsti's Condo recent posts on the subject.

I know many of you are deeply religious and transgender...Christian (Paula), Muslim, Hindu or whatever.  Unfortunately, no major religion has a corner on LGBTQ cruelty.  It's just in my life and environment is based in Christianity, so I carry an extra bias.  Too many times, as a transgender woman, I have been condemned to hell by a "loving and caring" Christian person. And surely don't get me started on my view of the Catholics.

The problem is not the religion, it's the people. Scarier yet are the readers I have heard from are fairly sure Leelah's suicide will drive the fundamentalist Christians further into their "bunker mentalities."

Plus, already here in Cincinnati, I heard a news story this morning about an upcoming vigil for Leelah Alcorn on the number one morning news show.  The station used her correct feminine name but that was it.  The writer of the story was a master of not using pronouns or the transgender word as I didn't hear either.

It's unfortunate religion of any type should be the main source of LGBTQ bigotry- then again it's not the religion-it's the humans.

Christianity and the Transgender Person

Quite the question and one which needs a book to discuss-not just a Cyrsti's Condo blog post, but here we go. The motivations to write this come from a couple sources: the recent tragic suicide of young Leelah Alcorn from the Cincinnati, Ohio area, another blog post I just read AND a comment I received from a trans woman friend who grew up under similar circumstances.


First of all, you could say I am a non practicing Christian, baptized in the Methodist church.  Personally, I am becoming a stronger and stronger earth based spiritual person and that is another post unto itself and  not relevant to the topic.




The blog post I read was called "7 Deadly Sins Parents Commit Against Their Transgender Kids" – In Memory of Leelah Alcorn written by Susan Cottrell on a site called "Patheo's"  Here is an excerpt from her number one:  

"When I was 14, I learned what transgender meant and cried of happiness. After 10 years of confusion I finally understood who I was. I immediately told my mom, and she reacted extremely negatively, telling me that it was a phase, that I would never truly be a girl, that God doesn’t make mistakes, that I am wrong. Who said anything about God making mistakes? Why do we keep hearing about God not making mistakes – from the people who consider others’ expression of identity and orientation a mistake? You’re the ones threatened by what you call a mistake."

She goes on to write about misguided treatment by misguided parents operating their lives and the lives of their kids under the guise of Christianity.  Even to the point of using "therapies" which the CIA would have been in trouble for.


One who knows more than a little about growing up in an ultra Christian family is the friend I mentioned above:

Raquel FosterDecember 31, 2014 at 12:44 PM

"The parents created a terrible environment for Leelah, and that was probably encouraged by their church, and their church is probably telling them now that their 'son' is the victim of being brainwashed by some horrible left-wing agenda. This all would've been swept under the rug in Cinci if it hadn't happened to get picked up nationally. All the Cinci news sources used to say 'him'. When I first saw the story, I was horrified that her note was going to be completely ignored. But all those news sources seem to have been updated to 'her'. This is only because of the national coverage and the fact that they realized they looked so ignorant. Maybe this kind of attention is enough that the parents will learn something, but I doubt it. The aggressive fundamentalists already tend to think that the whole world is conspiring against them, and this will likely just reinforce that feeling."

Thanks Racquel, I agree with her (unfortunately) and she was right pointing out the media in Cincinnati got rocked hard about their initial ignorance when first reporting this. In fact, in the space of three or four hours (from the time Racquel saw the story to when I saw it-the Cincinnati television station we were watching got it right, pronouns and all.

Then :

MichellewhoisDecember 31, 2014 at 9:28 AM

It always saddens me to learn about a life so young and full of hope being extinguished. Many of us know first hand the torments of growing up in a world that as you put it "Is another hell the preachers make their money sermonizing on".

You are right Michelle- follow the money! I'm afraid I'm speaking to the choir here to even open the door to religion and Leelah Alcorn.  To not do it though would be a huge disservice to Leehlah's memory.  R.I.P, Leelah, I'm sure by now you have found what Christianity was trying to tell you before it got distorted by the very humans it was trying to help.

While My Blog Gently Weeps

As Liz and I were watching the Cincinnati evening news last night, one of the lead stories was the all too familiar tragic story of a young transgender girl ending her life-essentially before it started. This is so frustrating and sad, I'm crying as I write this post. NOT a post I wanted to write on New Years Eve:


Quoting the USA Today and Sharon Coolidge of the Cincinnati Enquirer: 
Leelah's suicide and the conversation her note inspired has rocked families in the Ohio region, becoming part of a national conversation. Here, we share the facts and report what happened.

In life, Leelah Alcorn felt alone. Born male, she feared she would never be the woman she felt like inside. In death, the transgender 17-year-old -- born Josh Alcorn -- wanted to make sure others never felt that way she did.
"The only way I will rest in peace is if one day transgender people aren't treated the way I was, they're treated like humans, with valid feelings and human rights," Alcorn wrote in a post on Tumblr.
Her parents, she wrote, wanted her to be a "perfect little straight Christian boy."
"My death needs to mean something," she wrote in the post, which she scheduled to appear the day after her death.


"My death needs to mean something," she wrote in the post, which she scheduled to appear the day after her death.
Her final public words: "Fix society. Please."

On Sunday, just before 2:30 a.m., Alcorn was struck and killed by a tractor-trailer on I-71 in Ohio, about four miles from her home in Kings Mills.

Leelah Alcorn, who was born Josh Alcorn.(Photo: Provided/Abigail Jones)

No charges have been filed, and the State Highway Patrol continues to investigate. Her body was sent to the Montgomery County Coroner for an autopsy, which will take several weeks.
"She was super bubbly and upbeat with a really brash sense of humor; she could make anyone laugh," said Abigail Jones, 17, one of Alcorn's co-workers and friends. They were caricature artists at Kinds Island, an Ohio amusement park.
Jones even drew Alcorn as Elsa from Frozen, "her favorite thing ever."
The duo was close -- going to see movies, getting ice cream and texting. In July, Alcorn told Jones that she was transgender.
Alcorn's family declined to comment to The Enquirer. In a statement via the Kings Local School District, they requested privacy. According to the statement, Alcorn was most recently enrolled as an 11th grader at the Ohio Virtual Academy, an online school.




There is more as you follow the link but Liz and I's question was can Leelah's conservative Christian family learn too late from their daughter's death?  (I'm saying no.)


One way or another, her death is another hell the preachers make their money sermonizing on. 


Another tremendous sad shame is around here in Cincinnati and increasingly in other locations, LBGTQ groups provide outreach education to youth. In my area of the world there is GLSEN  in Cincinnati and the Dayton LGBTQ center has reached out to several transgender women and men (including me) to establish an outreach.
I'm not saying you should use me as an example but even if you have to wait a long time-it does get better.