Hiding in Plain Sight?

I am usually really happy when I can touch a raw nerve of sorts with many of you. The Disappearing CrossDresser was one. 

One of the most intriguing (since I had never heard of it was) this from Calie:" I co-host a monthly lunch called the DRAB-Gab. Obviously, everyone dressed in male attire. This is an event sponsored by our local TG organization, which may just be the largest in the world...about 700 strong I believe, here in the center of the T-universe. 

Many of our monthly attendees are first-timers, having never met another one of "our kind". One common thread we have found over the years is that there's a 50/50 chance that a "newbie" who RSVP's won't show up. Why? Because they're absolutely scared to death of being outed, or afraid that we're a bunch of pervs, or whatever. 

I think your friend(?) had cold feet and is now absolutely embarrassed. She probably drove around the block several times...maybe even walked up to the coffee shop. At that point, she freaked out, turned around, and never looked back. That seems to be a common story that those who have RSVP'd for a second time, and did show up, have told us."

May I say, that's a significant membership and yes cross dressers as well as the rest of the LGBT family are invisible everywhere.  And, did I miss exactly where the center of the T-universe is? Seriously, not being a smart arse!

The point I missed in my oft weak written communication is, I really don't put a value judgement where another person may-or may not be in their transition. I have always said though, my indecision tore me apart from within-to the point of a suicide attempt.

I also understand as well as any of you the sheer terror of heading out of the closet at all. In fact, I just met a trans woman from a little town about fifty miles south of Cincinnati who was just outed on FB. She was petrified. It's a confusing deal, because 'the Nati' is gaining on Columbus in pursuit of LGBT rights and Covington, Kentucky right across the river just added one female and one male police peeps specifically trained to deal with us.

 

So, I can understand why a closet is a safe place. The only thing I have ever advocated for is...hedge your bets because life can change and all of the sudden your closet door could open. And, if it does, you can protect yourself as much as possible by places such as the voting box. It's a fact in O.H.I.O you have to look under many rocks to find a Republican representative who is pro LGBT rights. It just is true. (After all, the 'Q' in LGBTQ is for 'questioning.'

There were a couple other comments on the post I want to get back to later today. It's time for another trip to the V.A  to have my fluids checked!

  

Liz and Elizabeth

Elizabeth Taylor at 44

Perhaps you all have noticed Connie and I "sparring" in the comments section of a recent post. To cut to the chase, our discussions came down to the preparations trans women have to go through (versus cis women) to even face the world.

Interestingly, I have had the same discussions with my therapist and my partner (cis). My point was to all of them, including Connie, that while I and (most of the rest of the feminine population) will never possess the looks of movie star Elizabeth Taylor, I would not prefer to look like "Liz Taylor" of recent "American Horror Story" fame with Lady Gaga.

Of course I know there are parts of my Mtf transition which are entirely out of my control. Financially I can't walk out and schedule Caitlyn Jenner style plastic surgeon rebuilds and I am stuck with my big bones etc. On the other hand, I know if I can do well with my makeup, I will present with less effort. Often in direct proportion to the work put in.

However, my point to Connie (and I can be accused of not making it well) was a woman, cis or trans should not be judged by her looks. But, where does that idealism leave me? 

Liz Taylor

Well, you all have seen my pictures and you know where it leaves me-with a lot of work to do. But, on the other hand, I am completely unapologetic about who I am, and if I am out of time to do much more than tie my hair back, put on some light foundation and mascara for the grocery or gym-so be it.

Let's not forget Cincinnati, even though it's only a couple hours from ultra LGBT diverse Columbus, Ohio-still needs work on our acceptance. It's happening and I would love to help as much as possible!

In the meantime, I won't give you a "spoiler alert" about Liz Taylor, but you maybe will be surprised if and when you watch the show. 

Cyrsti's Condo "Silver Screen" Update

As I wrote in the Sunday Edition, Liz and I watched "The Danish Girl" Saturday and "Carol" on a rare weekend when we go out to see two movies. Carol stars Cate Blanchett who is at once a powerful/cold wealthy woman at love with Rooney Mara.

On the other hand, Blanchett is vulnerable in the role and goes from sort of a regal/imitator to the girl next door peaking out of the shower with no makeup,

As I said/wrote before, we were interested in watching Carol also since it was filmed here in the Cincinnati, Ohio area and we happened to be downtown when they were gathering the vintage cars for the movie.

Since Carol is a love story between two women-yes there is a very erotic love scene. Sort of icing on the cake (so to speak.)

Of course between the two movies, "The Danish Girl" meant more to me from a purely personal nature. Lili Elbe's life (even though years apart) were so similar-MAINLY the interactions between her and Gerta her wife. I think I walked into the movie thinking Gerta gave Lili the green light for a transition which went all the way to one of the first sex reassignment surgeries. I was wrong. Gerta was hurt and questioning-mad and hurt through out the experience. To the point she used the magic words most all of us hear if we are married crossdressers or transwomen from our wives.  A transition is all about us.

I don't want to go into any more spoiler alerts than I did. I did overviews. 

Finally, if you live in an older city the size of Cincinnati, you may look around for what I call "boutique" theaters. They are usually around big colleges or upscale suburbs in reclaimed movie theaters.  Plus, the theaters are more apt to hold on to movies a little longer than the big box places with all the kids!

Cyrsti's Condo "Sunday Edition"

Ker Plunk! Another Sunday edition is hitting your virtual front porch and if you live around this part of Ohio your porch is cold and getting colder by the hour-down into the zero degree range by tomorrow. Yikes! It's time to make a cup of Buckeye hot cocoa (with a tad of peanut butter) and maybe a little protein powder too. So, let's get started!

Page One-the Week that Was or Wasn't:  For Liz (my partner) and I, the weekend was the whole week essentially. Friday night we joined our friends for dinner which was cool as I wrote about and today we hope to make the early (old peeps) showing of the movie Carol  

The  film tells the story of a young aspiring photographer and her relationship with an older woman going through a difficult divorce. Highsmith based the character of Therese Belivet on herself, after an encounter she had in 1948 with a woman while she worked 

at Bloomingdales in New York City. Other than being an LGBT based film, the "movin' picture show" was actually filmed around the Cincinnati, Ohio area.

Page Two-Yesterdays' Coffee-Check Your Fluids-Opinion: Recently, I wrote more in depth of the dinner with a group of friends we went to Friday and the chance I had to sit close to a transgender man friend I have who I believe (like the majority of us) has struggled with gender fluidity. The reason I say that is, early on when I met him-I used the male pronoun and learned I may have been the only one that was. Of course I asked him and he said it didn't matter. So now I listen for what his partner calls him of course. 

Gender "Fluidity" may be more prevalent than we think, similar to transgender women and men. As Connie commented "As dazzled as you may be when you learn from someone that they know another trans person, it should give you pause to wonder just how that trans person is presenting herself or himself, and then how are you being viewed in the inevitable comparison." Good point! So many times it's NOT all about us. And, the more we realize it, the better chance we have to move on with our lives in our intended gender. A point which was made in the "Danish Girl" which we saw last night.

Page Three-The Back Page - Saving the Best for Last: I was literally shaken after viewing "The Danish Girl" I mean, how dare they rip chapters from my life and put them on the big screen? At the least the movie was lush in it's backgrounds and scenery, powerful in it's message and so sad. 

With that, it's time to go. Wherever you are remember I luv you all and thanks for making the Condo a regular stop! 

The Future is Now?

Hey, I'm as good as the next person at procrastination.  In fact, my therapist who has this pesky habit of listening to me, asked what was coming up next (in my grand scheme) after the gender marker boogey is over?

The question came back to me from something I said to her - a (true) comment about my fondness for procrastinating forever  I told her I need to get a project done while I'm thinking about the next one and I struggle to finish or start either.

Like I said, I figured she (the therapist) was not listening to all my babble. Hell, I don't listen to me (except when I talk to myself.).

She is an excellent therapist though and did ask me what was next? I have a circle of friends, a daughter and partner to die for. And now, I'm journeying down the winding road of a legal name/gender marker change. 

So, what is next? If I was to meet my maker tomorrow and- after I was polite and asked her what the hell was she thinking-what would we chat about?

I'm fairly sure she would slap me up the side of my noggin and say "How many times have you talked about paying forward?" 'Do it Dummy!'

So, Finally tonight I am looking forward to meeting a group "of the sisters and brothers" in a transgender only get together which happens once a month here in Cincinnati. Plus, in a week or so, I will be heading back to the LGBTQ safe haven group "Love Must Win Inc" group in Northern Kentucky.

I know it's just a start, but every little bit I can do may help. About everytime I get secure on my rickety pedestal, I meet a person like we met at the Leelah Alcorn remembrance recently. Her name was 'V" and she was in shock by being outed on FaceBook the day before. She lives in a super redneck town a little farther into the Kentucky hills where I sure you will see a Confederate flag or two on the back of pickups.

So yes, the future is now for me. I am in a unique situation to do something-anything.and I must! What will my grandkids think of me if I don't?

   

Can't See My Behind-Got to Look Ahead

I have never really been one to make convenient New Years resolutions which in a week or a month just sort of dissipate. This year though, I have certain life activities which are 'on going.' Just another way of saying I want to 'git r done' before I die.

Lets take HRT for example- I restarted my estrogen patches on New Years Eve. Not well I might add, as the patches wouldn't stick without a band-aid.  No problem, just call me the Teflon Trans Girl.

And,  even more important is my continuing "gender marker" work I will have to pursue again as early as Monday. As of right now, the holiday's have slowed most of everything. (naturally)

Of course, there is always more! 

Just before New Years the Hamilton County/Cincinnati public library announced a service which is just appearing across the country-a chance for you to hard copy print your e book at cost. I can't wait to try it with my "Stilettos on Thin Ice" book. I simply have not had the money to self publish. My problem is I have a deep paranoia with meeting "Stilettos" in person.

Finally, my only real resolutions are to get started on a new book (from Cyrsti's Condo archive posts) and to get into Yoga. Then maybe I could see my own behind?

(Yoga example here shown here by the 'Aflac Duck')

The problem is the duck has more coordination!

She's a Man? or a Ghost?

As I wrote, Liz and I went to the Sinatra tribute concert last night at the Cincinnati Music Hall. The music hall by the way, was built on top of an old potters cemetery and is roundly rumored to be haunted.

Then, we went to dinner at a venue we have been to several times The Moerline Lager House for vittles.

The view above was taken from our table. 

When we got to the Music Hall and were making our way to our seats, we passed a 70 ish couple in the crowd. The woman in particular, began to give me the side looks I so hate. I mean just come out and say it. But I heard her say it to hubby - "that's a man."

The whole moment reminded me of an idea I had years ago; print a set of business cards that say "Yes I am a transgender woman!" Then on the back put a disclaimer "Legally approved-won't bite." I am sure the old bitch would have cherished her card!!!

In the meantime, I hope you had a great/safe New Years Day!

It's Fun Being A Girly Girl

YAY! Tomorrow night is New Years Eve. Yet another chance to look back on the dumb and smart things I did during 2015. Guess which out numbers the other? However, crashing through the world like a pin ball machine for me has nothing to do with being transgender.

Roebling Bridge

I am looking forward today to doing some real live girl stuff to prep for an evening out with Liz. This year we are going back to the Cincinnati Music Hall to hear the Cincinnati Pops do a Frank Sinatra tribute...then head down to the river to eat at one of our fave places with this view of the "Roebling Bridge" over the Ohio River. (If the architecture looks familiar-it's because Roebling went on to build the 'Brooklyn Bridge' in NYC.)

Of course, my usual jeans and sweater/boots outfits I wear most of the time won't work for the evening. So, I'm working with a couple outfit ideas I have thought of. It's a radical idea I know, but this year I am going to try them on ahead of time. I simply don't have the funds to go on a big shopping spree - or even a small one but I do have quite a few pieces in my wardrobe to work with. Plus I love to work with scarves!

To start with though, I have two big factors to think about. How cold is it going to be. Is the weather going to be dry and how will my weight fluctuations effect my outfit. The weather is going to be dry, down into the 20's and my weight is significantly down (still) from last year. (If I keep eating like I am-it won't be.)

The only real item of clothing I may have to work around is an old set of dress "culottes" I like to wear with a belted crochet style top. My other choice would be one I wore a couple weeks ago when Liz and I went out for dinner. I take a long fringed top, belt it at the waste and wear a black light sweater and leggings under it with ballet flats.

I think either outfit would work with my long wool coat specifically and my short leather maybe. Like I wrote, I will know by the time the afternoon is over.

Finally, I have my "Big Four"  of considerations to look at: 

1. Does the outfit fit the occasion?
2. Is the outfit comfortable to wear?
3. Will the outfit fit the overall 'spirit' of the occasion (and not embarrass my partner?)
4. Am I careful to not go "over the top" and look like a drag queen?

Assuming all those are a "go" I have another special treat planned for myself today after I wash and blow dry my hair-I I finally  have hands which are sufficiently healed to paint today and add some Jamberry decoration!

Cyrsti's Condo "Sunday Edition"

Ker Plunk! Listen closely! Another Sunday Edition is hitting your virtual front porch. I hope this finds you safe from all the terrible weather and nastiness sweeping our country. The West Coast is on fire, Oklahoma is hosting blizzards, Texas and the South -tornadoes. Rachel in particular, I hope you are good. Around here in Southern Ohio, we are still very warm but very rainy. We will be getting cold though and more than likely, low lying floods are in the Ohio River's future here. Enough of that, lets get a Cup o Joe (coffee) and get started:

Eddie Redmayne (right)

Page One: The Week that Was - or Wasn't: Of course another week has come and gone along with Christmas. The whole season touches a tender chord with all the transgender and GLBQ community who have been separated from their families-by ignorance. Elsewhere, The Danish Girl has/is hitting the silver screens.

I have not seen the movie yet. But when I do, I am going to try to put away any bias I may have had on who was chosen to play the role, in fact, I wanted to see an actor attempt to capture the overwhelming emotions/uncertainties of changing genders.


Page Two: Yesterday's Coffee - Opinion:  A year or so ago,  17 year old transgender girl Leelah Alcorn stepped out in front of a semi truck and committed suicide. Not far from Cincinnati, Ohio where I live. In memory of,
Cincinnati, OH, December 22, 2015 — The Transgender Community of Greater Cincinnati is holding a Press Conference and Call to Action at 10 am Monday December 28, 2015 on the steps of City Hall 801 Plum St, Cincinnati OH, 45202. 

The Press Conference and Call to Action will share the love, affirmation, and acceptance given to all attending the vigils held earlier this year to remember Leelah Alcorn. It will also outline what the immediate needs are for members of the Trans community most at risk: Trans youth and Trans Women of Color.

"Last January we gathered at Kings High School and the Woodward Theater to honor Leelah's life" said Lindsey Deaton, one of the organizers of those vigils. "This Monday we will be meeting again to remember her Spirit, answer her call to fix society and name the Trans communities lack of access to emergency shelter or housing, the lack of access to medical care, to drug and alcohol treatment and to job training".

‘There have been many positive changes in the ecology for Trans adults and children in Cincinnati,’ said Deaton. ‘With the leadership of City Councilmember Chris Seelbach, Cincinnati is now the first city in the United States to ban the kind of reparative conversion therapy experienced by Leelah’.

Liz and I will be there.

Page Three: Oh No She  'Dint!'  I have passed along the story of when I was called a "Sir" when picking up a ham for Christmas dinner this week. I promptly emailed the company and getting a response back from the company the next day.

What I haven't passed along though, is how this morning I came out to one of the few long term friends I have left. (By email as she isn't that close.)I will give you more info and how it all worked out-if I hear back!

Page Four- The Back Page: By this time next week, we will be into 2016. Here's hoping your find the rest of 2015 a safe one! Thanks for stoping by Cyrsti's Condo - Love you all!

A Tribute to Leelah Alcorn?

Most certainly one of the main ideas Leelah Alcorn wanted to pass along before the young transgender teen girl committed suicide almost exactly a year ago close to Cincinnati, Ohio was- to have her death mean something.

If you don't remember, Leelah's parents were devout conservative Christians and subjected their daughter to conversion therapy. Now it seems, Leelah's message is coming through-here in Cincinnati at least:



"The Nati" again stands to become a national leader in LGBT rights as debate isscheduled Monday on a measure that would ban preoperative or conversion therapy for LGBT youth

City Council Member Chris Seelbach said Thursday that at Monday’s meeting of the council’s law and public safety committee, he will propose an ordinance that would impose a $200-a-day fine on a therapist or counselor practicing the therapy that aims to “change” lesbians, gay men, bisexuals or transgender people from their sexual orientation or gender identity.

Passage apparently would make Cincinnati the first major U.S. city to ban reparative or conversion therapy. The Movement Advancement Project, an LGBT organization in Denver that tracks legislation nationwide on reparative therapy, has no record of a city passing an ordinance that would ban the practice.

Cincinnati has pioneered other official moves to embrace LGBT citizens, including offering health benefits to transgender city employees and setting aside a City Hall bathroom as gender-neutral.

As promising as it this all is, the problem of Evangelical Christians doing their own "therapy." Still under the radar and in the same room with the snakes.

Plus, in Leelah's case, her church I believe was across the Ohio River-out of reach from those "pesky" regulations forbidding brainwashing your LGBTQ child. 

But the resolution is a great start!!!!

Cyrsti's Condo "Sunday Edition"

Picture compliments of Robbie Lewis, The Ohio and what I call a "trans" themed sunset.

Ker PLUNK! Another weekend edition is hitting your virtual front porch! Here on the banks of the Ohio in Cincinnati, we are enjoying a chilly, sunny fall morning with temperatures expected to rise. Perfect for a hot "cup o joe"!!!









Page One-The Week that Was - or Wasn't: By far, two events overshadowed any of my mere existence last week: the tragedy in Paris and the presentation I heard Friday from a transgender man at a "Love Must Win Inc." meeting. Both nearly beyond the power of words. The week for me marked the beginning of yet another stage of my long gender journey.

Page Two- Bureaucracy and the Trans Girl: With everything else which has been going on, I have neglected updating you all on the process of realigning my legal gender "markers" with how I am living my life. Since I do have a letter from my psychologist, stating I was "qualified" to change from a "M" to a "F" on nearly every form of legal identification I have-except here in Ohio where the best that happens to my birth certificate is an attachment is added.

What really gets to me is, I still have to have a "mental health" professional to "approve" what I have known forever. (I do know also, a physician can approve it too,)

No matter though, my Probate Court hearing is set for Dec. 23 (really!) the initial filing fee was $89.00, Then I got hit for $22.00 for a certified birth certificate, Then another $45.00 for the legal newspaper filing fee.

Page Three - Here Comes "Da Judge": It's interesting to me (and not in a good way) the judge who has to sign off on my legal name change has refused to sign same sex marriage licenses. Not unlike Kimmy "the Snake Worshiper" in Kentucky. The difference has been in Ohio they have found another way to work around him and he just lost in the election. (But still be finishing his term.) So it's all just paranoia-I hope.

Well, "Gotz" to go kids-hope you have a good week!!! Luv ya all and thanks for stopping by Cyrsti's Condo.

The Day the Earth Chilled in Cincinnati

Yesterday the Bengals became the 7-0 Bengals on the season by beating the Squeelers in Pittsburgh. Those of us who are old enough and "in the know"-remembered the Bengals have never done this before. When I went out yesterday, I happened to feel a distinct chill under my feet and thought "The Bengals are 7-0 and hell might be beginning to freeze over."  Plus, you can't go far now in Cincinnati without having to stop for an overloaded Bengals Bandwagon.(Hint-take the points this Thursday against the Cleveland Browns!)

On the medical front, all is quiet this week in wait of the next round of being prodded next week. Monday is my Gastrointestinal visit, plus coffee with my brother (which we will discuss later.) Either Tuesday or Wednesday (yet to be decided), is my second mammogram; and Thursday is a fun filled day with the vampire crowd - including my hematologist. To put it into perspective, I go give blood for my lab work, wait a half hour for it to be checked and then give a pint for the cause (mine). Finally, after that, I get to see the Doc.

Seriously, I am not complaining. Even though my hands are not healing as fast as I would like, my over all levels of iron have decreased dramatically.

Hopefully dramatically enough that I can beg my way back on my HRT estrogen in December. My appointment with my endocrinologist is December eighth. No matter what anyone says about the "mystical" effects of estrogen, I am very definitely a different person off it. And, not in a good way. I never wanted to go back to seeing and feeling the world more as a guy-but I do.

But we will see! First I have to live through all the medical appointments! 

Cyrsti's Condo "Sunday Edition"

Ker Plunk!!! Listen closely as another "Sunday" Recap is hitting your virtual front porch! Here along the Ohio near Cincinnati, we are dipping into the 30's (or lower) for a couple days before climbing back towards the 70's. Ideal for leggings, boots and big bulky sweaters. Lets get a hot "cup o joe" and get started.

Page One-The week That WAS-or Wasn't: Very definitely, it was the week that WAS for me. If you follow the blog at all you know Thursday my VA (Veterans Administration) psychologist signed off on my all important paper work to proceed changing my legal gender markers-which means my name and gender on documents. I have often written and thought the legal path is as challenging as navigating the world as a transgender woman at all. The next step for me this week is determining the sequence I want to do it in.  I can tell you for sure I am sick and tired of being called my male name at the VA, which is not their fault because that is what is in the system!

Page Two- Trans Allies: For some reason (other than yet another trans paranoia) I have read certain "T-peeps" blister transgender "allies." I thought I was missing something? Didn't I want/need more peeps on my side? Liz and I's "Meet Group" on Friday was one great example and my psychologist was another last week. Let me point out the group has absolutely nothing to do with LGBTQ causes and probably many wouldn't know the meaning anyhow. But they accept me warmly for who I am. So I guess they became allies out of "osmosis?" But I love them none the less and a whole lot more for them being - well-them. As they do me.

Page Three-Opinion: I have always considered paying forward a major goal of my life and I may have a yet another chance to help out coming up. In my discussions with my psychologist I mentioned several residents who sat in with my regular Doc's who asked if I had ever-or would talk to a Medical College class on the do's and don'ts of handling a trans patient. Of course I said no, but I would. Then she (my psychologist) said, would I be interested in talking to one of her interns. Again, I said sure-I would be honored. I hope something comes of the invitation because my VA clinic as a whole has become very diverse over the recent years - mainly with the help (again) of my psychologist. Great company to be included in-if only an itty bit!!!

Page Four- The Back Page: Well kids, time to wrap this up and put together breakfast vittles before the second half of my B&B football squads take the field. Of course my ultimate thrill yesterday came when "The team up North" lost to Sparty (Michigan State) in the last second-then my THE Ohio State Buckeyes beat up on Penn State. Then today the Cincinnati Bengals continue down their unbeaten path. To all of you though, I  hope the sun is shining in your world! Thanks for stopping by Cyrsti's Condo!!!

Luv ya All!!!

Trans Woman on Aisle Nine!

As promised in our Cyrsti's Condo "Sunday Edition", the final regular Saturday stop at our local huge food store was anything but routine. After this morning's story from the Cincinnati Enquirer, I am pleased I do. It's no small deal as-

 Kroger is the largest traditional grocer in the nation with more than 400 stores. With more than 400,000 employees, it's the nation's seventh largest employer.

"The Kroger Co. has agreed to extend transgender health benefits to employees covered under the company insurance plan with Anthem Blue Cross Blue Shield, according to a Facebook posting from a Kroger worker! Below!

Britney McGannon, a Kroger general-merchandise manager, organizes products on a shelf. She transitioned on the job and now proudly wears the female uniform and a new name tag.
(Photo: The Enquirer/Meg Vogel

Kroger is one of the largest retailers in the country and is headquartered here in Cincinnati. They operate stores under several different names, so you may be shopping at one now and not really know it.

OK, back to Saturday-it was relatively late (for a person of my age) and the store was nearly empty so mainly the only interactions Liz and I were having were with employees. (Which by the way, are normally very nice.) 

As we checked out, the young girl on the register did her trained but pleasant spiel on if we found everything OK. But then, the bagger, who was perhaps a young LGBT person, asked if we shopped at this store often? We said we did and she said "come back soon and shop at her store." How nice! Plus, the older woman (who I perceived to be in charge of the few cashier lines that were open) was heading our way smiling. Yes, the store is open 24/7 so she wasn't saying get out :).

After reading this morning of Kroger's new stance on transgender insurance, and the fact I already knew of their LGBT diversity. I had to feel Saturday night was no accident.

Trans-Dawn

I missed a true pink and blue sunset over downtown Cincinnati last night. So this was the best I could come up with this morning.

    Just had to call it "trans dawn" and send it along with tons of positive vibes to all of you down on your luck and/or still huddled in a dark closet.

A brighter day is coming!!!

Cyrsti's Condo "Sunday Edition"

Sharla and Cynthia. Photo: Brigitte Lacombe

Ker Plunk! Another virtual edition is hitting your front porch! All in all, another glorious day here in Southwestern Ohio and time for a hot "cup o joe!" Let's get started.

Page One: The Week That Was-or Wasn't: On the very pinnacle of transgender news and opinion, everything seemed to settle down a bit since we didn't have anything new from Caitlin Jenner to kick around. (Didn't really care she got her gender markers changed.)

 Over in the UK though, a new television series is featuring a transgender woman character (played by a trans woman, Rebecca Root.) had a successful debut.

From The Guardian: Last month, BBC2 launched a new sitcom that’s looking quietly revolutionary. Boy Meets Girl centres on the awkward love affair between early twenty something Leo (Harry Hepple) and Judy (Rebecca Root), a trans woman who is pushing 40. And it’s already shaping up to be the breakout comedy of the year.

Page Two Opinion: One way or another, age washes away memories, good and bad. Plus, too many of the gender transitioning experiences we see today seemingly want to only center on the transgender person and (if married) not the spouse. I ran across one such article from the "New York Magazine" and I thought I should share. But, first of all, my thoughts: 

1. 1  Any Gender transition is extremely selfish. After all you are shedding years of guilt from hiding your true self.But, your spouse (or girlfriend) is all of the sudden left holding the relationship bag.
2. Betrayal and Trust issues. Often the fact your loved one feels worse about this than the knowledge of your gender issues themselves
3. Going through puberty is not fun. Think about when you begged a spouse to help with clothes and/or make up. Or, worse yet, did it on your own. 

1. ..

I could go on and on with these and each of us who has gone through the painful process of transitioning with a spouse- has your own story. If you don't remember, my wife of 25 years was OK  with me cross dressing but going down the HRT route was a total no-no. She took the easy way outt and passed on nearly eight years ago. Others I know are able to enter into a "marriage of convenience." .Follow the link above for more.
Page Three- The Back Page: Times up kids! Big day ahead. My Bengals are overdue to turnover and get their kitty bellies rubbed by the Ravens in a couple hours and tonight I'm heading to a full moon ritual. Interestingly, it is the brightest in 32 years-if the clouds stay away.
In the meantime, I hope all of you don't stay away from Cyrsti's Condo. Luv ya!!!

Shock and Awe!

Yesterday was one of those days which I knew was going to be long, but not so sure how long. 

First of all, the weather was tremendous and an ideal time to have yet another sidewalk sale at my old house in Springfield which I am continuing to clean out from literally 20 years or more of "collecting." I don't sell much but every little bit helps me to "get by" and augment my very meager Social Security. It's better than carrying a sign and standing on a corner asking for change. Can ya spare a dime brother for a poor trans vet? But...I didn't have to because...

I was successful in "moving a couple pieces" out as I grow ever closer to putting the place up for sale and went back to Sis-in-Law's to pack up and drive the hundred miles or so to Liz's. Decided to wear my best "Boho-Hippie" outfit".  A long flowing multi colored purple skirt, tank top and flip flops. It fits right in as, on the way to Liz's I go through Yellow Springs, Ohio which was (and is) a hot bed of hippie/liberal activity and  a place I have felt immensely connected to. I was dressing to blend in my mind for the past and present!

Let's "back track" a bit and mention too, the "mousse was loose" yesterday- as Liz and I call it. In my hair from when I washed it Thursday. I love to just shampoo, condition and mousse my already very wavy hair and basically just let it go. So, I went with the "460 Air Conditioning" in my Rolls Royce (4 windows down at 60 miles an hour) and headed for Cincinnati. I always love going through "The Springs" imagining I could go back and re-live just a few of those years I so admired the hippie girls with their long wavy hair. When I had my Army 'high and tight'.

Of course I can't so the closest I can come is to let my "freak flags fly"; turn up one of the Woodstock CD's I just found in my house and head on down the road. What could be any better?

I am sure my old dog in the back seat was thinking "here we go again!" And go we did-once I got to Liz's as "Shock and Awe" continues!!!

Brew Ha Ha

This whole weekend, Downtown Cincinnati hosts an event called "Brew Ha Ha." It's right along the Ohio River and this year the proceeds are going to finding a cure for childhood cancer. It's called "The Cure Starts Now"

As good fortune would have it, the weather was flat out beautiful, the 42 craft beers were great, the food was tasty and the comedy? - Well- I suppose you could almost call it that. A main stage showcased the "paid" comedians while several small ones all the rest. Very early in the evening it became evident how difficult comedy must really be. 

Of course as the beer and the evening progressed, Liz and I began to talk about transgender comedians. I said I had heard about a few like Julia Scotti   from New Jersey.

The problem with trans comedy as I see it is, we are light years away from laughing at ourselves. Let alone inviting others to do it. Then I put together an example or two. Would telling a crowd how unfunny getting smirked at in malls back in my cross dressing days be? Finally though,I did come up with a few ideas like dealing with guys who are intimidated when I actually know who The Ohio State quarterback was in 1968. Perhaps women would internally smile when I talk about falling in heels, and the men would smile about sports jokes-but is any of that comedy?

Personally, my problem is I am such a cynic and smart arse. (Surprise?) Plus I have little or no fear speaking to the public. My tendency would be to be as politically incorrect as the group I would be speaking to. 

What a thin line to walk! Turning such a very non humorous facet of my life into a different public forum.

All without getting beat up after the show and not because I am transgender! 

Cyrsti's Condo "Sunday Morning Edition"

Ker Plunk! Welcome to a sultry summer Sunday edition of Cyrsti's Condo. Here in Ohio, it's actually a beautiful sunny day with highs in the 80's and a hotter fresh cup of "Joe" (coffee)-let's get started:
Page One-The Week that Was or Wasn't: To me, the week went by so fast-it was the week which wasn't - as far as the transgender world went. Much to my chagrin, I couldn't resist temptation and got sucked backed into the Caitlin Jenner "Kartrashian" media circus, was charmed, uplifted by Jazz Jennings and concerned by Carly's heart attack on Becoming Us. Selfishly, at my age, I'm trying to slow time down!

Page Two- A Tale of Two Restrooms? My partner Liz and I had a busy day on the road yesterday getting "errands" done between my old house and life in Springfield (Ohio) and here in Cincinnati. It's a trip one way of approximately an hour and a half-plenty of "quality time to spend with each other. We started the day at a "Meetup" Creative Group we attend when we can for conversation, coffee,ideas,food,coffee and oh yes-more coffee. After an hour or so it was time to hit the road to Springfield. 

The trip is mainly rural and restroom access is rare. In fact, since one of main interstate rest stops along the way has been closed for repair-the only alternative is a fast food restaurant cluster about half way. Yesterday we had two options-a cornfield-or Mac's. So Mac's for the potty and more coffee was the choice. I have stopped there by myself many times-without nary a glance, but not yesterday. I came out of my stall (Liz was done and waiting) right into the stares of a young girl and her Mom who was trying literally to escape through the wall. It was soooo bad, Liz reached out and gently touched my back as I washed up and we went out to order. 

The other end of the spectrum happened later last night as we went out for food and an adult beverage in the "Over the Rhine" section of downtown Cincinnati -you guessed it-we were called "ladies" all night long.

Page Three: The Back Page: I know this is a very short Sunday Edition but I do promise several more posts coming up with ideas I came up with during my "travel's" this weekend plus people I met along the way. In the meantime, thanks for being a part of Cyrsti's Condo!

Checking Your Trans Card?

As I was driving back from Cincinnati today, I began to think about the two young feminine cashiers/baggers at the grocery store Liz and I were checking out at last night.  Both of them were positively falling all over themselves to be nice to me. In fact, I was almost embarrassed. 

This morning I thought-Wow! How times have changed. I am not however naivete enough to believe times have changed for all the transgender community-across the board. Take Cincinnati for example, it's very possible if I am visiting one of the new upscale venues in the downtown "Over the Rhine" district - a trans person or two adds to the true valued diversity of the area. 

But, if I head out 50 miles east of the city, I could just as easily be verbally attacked (or worse).

As I have said here in Cyrsti's Condo, I work as hard as I can in an attempt to garner as much "passing privilege" as possible. Number one, why wouldn't I and number two, I certainly may need it!

Perhaps you have caught the story of a transgender woman finally being tied in with violence in a women's restroom. The problem is - she was attacked by a cis man who followed her into the restroom. That's exactly what we all need, some guy checking out our trans cards and then deciding to beat us up-in the women's room. I know the feeling. In fact, I have a very close genetic friend Min, who has ran restroom "protection" for me in a few situations. (In addition to Liz of course.)

This post though, is not about rest room privilege at all. It is however about the most powerful trans card of all-your personality. More on that next.