Cyrsti's Condo - "The Sunday Edition"

Good morning kids, ker plunk! another "fabtabulous" Sunday Edition is hitting your front porch.  I like to refer to this type of Sunday morning here in Ohio, USA as a soft Sunday.  It's mild, slightly overcast and quiet, except for the hot pot "o joe" brewing away in the coffee maker.

Page1.- The week that was-or wasn't.  For no particular reason (like so many other things in my noggin), last week we discussed interactions between transgender women and transgender men and even journeyed into the lesbian culture too.  I went into my theories on a very complex subject and received several thoughtful replies from your end.  Including this one from Diane Michelle Ryan:

Susan Herr

Hi Cyrsti
Love your Blog. I have never had an problem with older lesbians but younger ones can look at us with tuff looks. I live in the Bay Area & see a lot of FTM's out here.

hugs 
Diane

Thanks Diane!!!!  You are right and I think the younger butch's or "soft studs" are in a situation where they "out" and "feeling their oats" so to speak.  Perhaps the "tuff looks" we see are a reflection of that and the older lesbians have mellowed.  Several I know have worked through the "how you identify" stage into the "person you are" stage.

In no order of importance, came this comment which spoke to the possibility of trans guys and trans women interacting and growing with each other.  From Shelli Anne Mulka:

I'm a transwoman myself and know three transmen fairly well. One of them and I go out for a dinner and a movie every month or so and really enjoy being a "couple'. It gives us each a chance to "fine-tune" our image to the real world, and we often end up laughing about each of us "running in opposite directions and side-swiping each other". It gives us a feeling of mutuality which might even lead to romance some day, a concept that really doesn't bother me all that much ! We just may have as much in common as most couples, who can say? Peace & Love, Shelli Anne

Peace and love to you Shelli Anne!  I find it very interesting when you look into the dynamics of a trans woman/man relationship.  I have two friends who went on a very bumpy ride.  I think through no fault of their own, both were experiencing natural changes during their transition and will come out of the process as difference people than at the beginning.  Difficult to negotiate at the best!

Page 2.- Trans dar!  "Oh no she dident"- Go there again!  We indeed did go there again here in the Condo.  I asked the question, what would you do if you had the chance to speak to another cross dresser or transgender woman you had never met before:

Again, we received several quality responses including Jen Smith:   If my trans-dar goes off I do often glance casually her/his way, and if we make eye contact I just give a slight friendly smile as I would to anyone. 
I really just make the glance to see what I can learn (good or bad) from how she is presenting.

And Pat:

My T-dar is almost always on and I think that the same is true for my wife but I sense her acute sensitivity towards potential T-folk may be due in part to her over all sensitivity to everything in her environment as well as having lived with me for all these years. I tend to think that most people tend to be oblivious to the fact that we live among them.

Of course Pat, my warped sense of humor loved the "we live among them" comment as a Halloween reference to Vampires - where she was going anyhow:

Alexander Bekker

Last year we were simple spectators at the Asbury Park Zombie walk. While there I gave a pint of blood at the bloodmobile outside the legendary Stone Pony. I just got a mailer from the blood bank about this year's Zombie walk. I think that perhaps my wife and I may do the dual ghoul walk and perhaps she would consent to me doing it in fem. I will be planning to give another pint of blood so it would be interesting to be a guy dressed as a dead woman getting my blood drained in broad daylight.

Thanks Pat!

The Back Page.-  As they say in the "old country" (where I live) we are out of space, time and maybe luck! Thanks for stopping by the Condo and especially participating!  I get sooo tired of asking my dog!

Cyrsti's Condo "Quote of the Day"

Cyrsti's Condo "Playtime"

Hold still Jim, let me finish your hair...and stop your damn whining about how tight the tape is on your fake boobs- my girlfriends will be here soon and we will get to the party...where your real fun will start!

Don't I Know You?

The last couple of Friday's have hosted beautiful pre fall weather here in Ohio. It has created an opportunity for Missy and I to put as much "stuff" as we physically could out on the sidewalk of my house and try to sell it.  In our part of the world, sales such as ours are called "yard sales", "garage sales" or even "sidewalk sales."

It is a hit or miss project at it's best, but yesterday we got off to a fairly decent start.  About two hours into our sale, a very lesbian looking woman pulls up and begins browsing.  All of the sudden, she quit browsing, looked at me and said "Hey, don't I know you?" I jokingly said "Yes you probably saw my picture up in the Post Office with the other 'Most Wanted' peeps!"  All along though I was wondering if she did know me from one of the gay venues here in town.

I was humored by the thought, she bought two or three items and was on her way.  In the meantime, Missy asked had she seen me before? I said yes, but not exactly.  Quite possibly, she has seen the totally feminized version of me.

These two sales have really been eye openers for Missy.  To catch you up, she is my deceased wife's sister and I only have recently come out to her-when their Mom died. During the first sale, two separate groups of people referred to us as "ladies" or "girls".  To her credit, even Missy stopped in mid pronoun calling me "her" to a buyer. The whole process to me means how totally androgynous I'm becoming on HRT.

All of this with Missy usually kicks off another round of transgender questions - normally having to do with the possibility of SRS.  Her retention span is as bad as mine, so I go back through all the alternatives time and time again.  This time adding in the possibility of using my Medicaid health benefits.

At the least, these unexpected diversions from what normally is a very boring day for me have at the least made the sales more interesting and yes, she probably did know me.

Cyrsti's Condo "Quote of the Day"

Cyrsti's Condo "OOPPS!"

Dammit Jim, are those our wives coming?

It's All in the Eyes?

Continuing on my last post about those pesky lesbians jamming my "trans-dar"- I brought up the question, "How does one know the difference when a lesbian does cross the border into transgender territory. Well, of course, one normally doesn't but of course I have formed a few opinions the hard way.

First of all, I am not the definitive resource on lesbians but have found out a number of factoids over the last few years. First of all, they are very possessive within their culture.  I have be invited to several lesbian "mixers" with friends over the years.  One of the first lessons I learned was, if my friend's perceived a woman they were interested in had a partner there-that was it. Look but don't touch.

Of course, after I calmed down about being there at all, I became interested about how I was perceived. I took for granted, that for the most part, all of the "mixers" knew I was transgender.  Truly, I never had to worry.  No one was mean, most ignored me but then again a few did approached me.  Once I was even asked if "I belonged to my friend I as with."  So I never did really encounter the "Terf" hate from radical lesbians which is so prominently written about-there. 

Possibly, I did though on two other occasions from two butch's who jammed my "trans-dar."  One came from the eyes of the woman I told you about in the last post with her husband and the other, from a very, very, very, butch in a gay venue I go to. As I was talking to her partner one night.   If looks could kill, I would have been a goner-twice!So, I assume even though both looked as if they could be transitioning, they weren't.

Now, if you switch gears to the transgender men I know, and the few I have met-their eyes are softer.  So for some reason, I don't threaten them.  The ironic part is, if I hadn't been told ahead of time, I wouldn't have known at all they were trans men.

What's happening here? Has the introduction of mean old testosterone into the Ftm men's lives helped to mold a kinder, multi layered man?  After all, we are so quick to toot our own horns about being some sort of "hybrid" gender, perhaps the Ftm's are more so? Even the trans men at the symposium I went to said not being raised in similar strict rigid gender boxes the boys were subjected to, helped them later to transition.

At the least, interesting "theories", at the best, I'm just happy I'm still alive to write about it!!!!

Trans Guys

I wanted to take a moment here in Cyrsti's Condo to pass along a moment recently which jammed my "trans-dar" completely.

It occurred in the huge sports bar I have been going to (and welcomed in, for years.)  On more than a couple occasions I have noticed this couple who has ended up setting close to me by pure accident.  They both wore wedding rings and he looked as if he was a 50 something laid back bearded guy. His companion though, I just couldn't tell. I am going to call her "she" because I found out she was.

Rarely have I seen a person this androgynous.  From haircut, to clothes to everything- I couldn't tell.  The venue is located very close to an big Air Force research center so it's not uncommon to see couples not married chatting (right or wrong.) Truthfully, the only gender giveaway was when I wasn't paying any attention, I would hear a semi loud feminine voice-where there shouldn't have been one, I turned around and it was her.

Stav Strashko

Ironically, I had a chance to take my curiosity to a higher level, one of the bartenders I have known in there for literally years now. Later in the evening, a sharp dressed young guy worked his way into an open spot at the bar and ordered a couple beers.  I thought "damn" I'm getting older than I thought when a fuzzy faced kid who looked liked he was 16 ordered a beer. (I saw her I.D. him.)

So, when my friend had a spare moment, I asked her first about the first couple and she said indeed they were married and as far as she knew the wife was genetic, and loved motorcycles. At the same time, I was beginning to wonder if the "fuzzy faced" guy who ordered a beer- was a guy at all either.  I asked her and with the same smirk she uses with me when I'm "ditzin"- said "No Cyrsti, another girl."

Immediately I felt the world was changing quickly.  Perhaps even more so with the transgender men.  Draco, my trans man friend who I mention here, have talked about the thin line between "super butch" lesbians and transgender men and how difficult often it is to tell. (So I feel better-or he is trying to humor me.)

Marie Claire Itália Setembro 2014

Since you all know I'm always trying to over think everything, I may have come across how possibly I can have a better idea of figuring out so so called "other side of the transgender coin".  Get your pens and notebooks out kids, we will get to the grand theory in a future post!

Just Another OhioTrans Woman?

Actually , Marcela Ohio is not from Ohio at all, she is yet another of the stunningly gorgeous transgender women from Brazil!  Here is an encore presentation of her as the Cyrsti's Condo feature cover of the day.

Trans-Dar

As we approach the Halloween costume and party season, the chances for our "trans-dar" senses to emerge will be even more frequent.

The "trans-dar" concept of course is with us 24/7 anyway.  I read about it most recently on Paula's Place,  but have seen Stana on Femulate pass along her experiences, as well as Mandy. Plus, Pat's comments here on the Cyrsti's Condo blog.  (I'm sure my old addled noggin is missing out on more of you I can't remember at the moment!)

Why "Trans-dar" at all?  I think our excursions into the girl's sandbox, no matter as a cross dresser or transgender woman, make us naturals.The only more natural "trans-dar" folks are genetic women.  Of course they have "lived" what we are attempting to live from day one. If they are true women and not just female baby makers, their "trans-dar" is even better. They know the effort it takes to have pride in your appearance and style while all the time making it look natural and effortless.

Here's a question, how many of us have actually acted when our "trans-dar" went off?  If you have, please tell me!  I can never remember hearing or reading of anyone who actually spoke to a cross dresser or transgender woman in public they didn't know. The chances have been slim for me.

I can't ever remember ever seeing more than ten or so individuals I thought may be a "sister of the cloth." Here are my excuses for not making contact: I wasn't totally sure, I couldn't get close enough to them, or they looked so scared and jumpy, I was afraid they would fall in their heels and hurt themselves running away.  My plan now is simple and one I wish I would have thought of years ago.  Just make eye contact and say "hi". That way I won't have to feel guilty about doing nothing.

Revisiting Halloween, it's the time of year for closeted CD's to get out and "strut their stuff!"  Similar to when I look at womanless pageant contestants- I am on the outlook for the level of "expertise".  I look for shaved legs, the probable expense of the "costume"  and how comfortable the person wearing it is.  Think of it as Cyrsti's version of "he might be a cross dresser-if."

Ironically, (as we will visit a number of times as Halloween approaches) much of the actual "fun" has gone out of the season for me as I have transitioned.  This year though, my partner Liz is working hard to put the fun back in Halloween and more!  She is also keeping her idea extremely secret.  I will tell all of you- when we all make it past the "need to know" basics.  I can only say I think I won't be setting off anyone's "trans-dar" in my female based costume-but a ton of "scare-dar."

Cyrsti's Condo "Wish List"

To lighten things up around the Condo, I'm passing along a couple of items I found:

The first is a dress I just love (and couldn't even wear) from a site called "Trans and Crossdress Beauty"
 

The second (from my own imagination)  is the first picture home to a "Duck Dynasty" watching family. From their son who just went away to college!

Hi Mom and Dad! Having a great time at my first dorm party!! Love you!!