I received this comment back from Grant, an Equality Ohio organizer:
(Cyrsti) My first visit here to your condo, and all I've got to say is: yes yes yes. It's easy to get jaded since we've been working for YEARS on a nondiscrimination bill. Marriage isn't the end-all-be-all, especially for trans rights. I like the letter you sent Boehner.
I feel like we have the strongest shot our community has ever had this year. We're organized - and organizing - so smartly lately.
Thanks for linking to EO too :)
Thanks to you Grant and EO!
AND! Thanks for mentioning Trans Rights!
I think we transgender women and men face several obstacles when we summon up the courage to face the light of day in society at all and then attempt to have our voices heard against injustice. At meetings such as the Equality Ohio affair, at the least I feel the need to offer some explanation of how I live. It's become a good life for me but I don't labor under any ridiculous idea it's good for all the world. It never fails though at least one or two peeps at these meetings linger to talk to me, which is cool because education is never bad. I was flattered the one person who talked to me the longest was the pastor of the church whose congregation was struggling with it's views of same sex marriage laws here in Ohio. My goal was to fill the pastor in on the tremendous percentage of transgender women and men who try to take their own lives and yes-I was one of them. To me, the process is the one biggest litmus test which determines if a person should be a spiritual leader at all. This pastor was truly struck by my story and it essentially was the thought I sent on to Boehner (mentioned by Grant) - a simple "what if" your son or daughter was TGLBQ.
The whole idea is so complex though, even it has it's own moral and political bases. Morally, would the politician support his or hers offspring. Politically, would they continue to deny basic freedoms to the child, mandated by their electorate and finally what level of hypocrisy would they attach to it?
Can't of course speak to any of that, it's just an observation I have but together from my humble place in the world. I do agree with Grant though, "our community" is organizing better than ever and I do hope our time is now on several platforms including weeding out several long term ineffective career politicians in Ohio. Their records of lack of response, go way further back than TGBLQ reform. Including current huge social problems such the heroine epidemic, violence against ALL women and more. Old ideas and praying simply are NOT solving the problem.
On the other hand, I see the reaction on several fronts from young fresh minds and I get excited! What isn't lacking for me is a sense of excitement of how the world could become!
Tuesday, July 1, 2014
Monday, June 30, 2014
Cyrsti's Condo "Power Scope"
"Up Scope!" and let's look to the stars!
Libra.- (September 23-October 22): If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is. Don’t let logic slip your mind when you want to take an easier way out. There are no shortcuts now and as lucky as you feel, be mindful of what you agree to. Of course, optimism is a beautiful thing, but this week it can make you a sucker. You’re better than that! Just note: If you sweat this week, you’re doing it right.
The problem with this scope is...with the hot humid summer weather around the "Condo" there is plenty of "glistening" going on with me anyhow! As far as optimism goes, I rather take my chances with it other than the opposite-negativity!
As always, be positive kids and go here to theFrisky for your scope!
Libra.- (September 23-October 22): If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is. Don’t let logic slip your mind when you want to take an easier way out. There are no shortcuts now and as lucky as you feel, be mindful of what you agree to. Of course, optimism is a beautiful thing, but this week it can make you a sucker. You’re better than that! Just note: If you sweat this week, you’re doing it right.
The problem with this scope is...with the hot humid summer weather around the "Condo" there is plenty of "glistening" going on with me anyhow! As far as optimism goes, I rather take my chances with it other than the opposite-negativity!
As always, be positive kids and go here to theFrisky for your scope!
Back Fill!
This is sort of a "companion" post to yesterday's very abbreviated "Sunday Edition" here in Cyrsti's Condo.
As you may remember, my Mother in Law is in very critical condition in the hospital and basically they have put her in a self induced coma. There isn't much to do but wait and pray that whatever happens-she is comfortable and gets to a better place. "Nuff" said.
Of my wife's family, her Mom and her sister are really the end of the line.(Of course my wife passed years ago.) When my sister in law met up with me yesterday before we went to the hospital, see hadn't seen me for awhile. I wasn't wearing a ball hat and the first thing she said was something to the effect of "if I didn't know your hair wasn't natural, I wouldn't know." I said the hair or the color? The hair of course is all natural. She said no - the color or colors from what is left from my last high lighting. By this time, I was figuring the conversation was heading in the only direction it really could and I said, "yes my hair has been highlighted and there is a reason. Then, I told her the whole reason why, I was transgender which led to an hour's worth of questions about my life, my married life with her sister and my daughter.
Coming out to her went amazingly well with her for a couple of reasons. First of all, with all the love in the world, I would describe her as having a couple of screws loose in the noggin. So with no real right wind political or religious agenda, I figured she would not have many issues with me coming out. What blew me away though, was how much she already knew about trans women and men from television and it was positive. Naturally, there were more serious issues at hand and quickly we were on our way to the hospital.
I don't recommend this idea as an ideal way to come out to a family member and I wasn't planning to bring it up. When she was fishing with me though about what was going on as so many genetic women do-I just told her.
Ironically in her prime, she was a purse fanatic and when we got back from the hospital, she just had to show me the literally five large plastic tubs of purses she had stored away. My wife would change bags twice a year, her sister-weekly it seemed. At any rate, as she was going through them all and asking my opinion, she started giving me one or two
along the way. To the left you see part of the 18 purses I ended up bringing home (most in trash bags)
All I can say is, it's too bad we aren't the same size!
As you may remember, my Mother in Law is in very critical condition in the hospital and basically they have put her in a self induced coma. There isn't much to do but wait and pray that whatever happens-she is comfortable and gets to a better place. "Nuff" said.
Of my wife's family, her Mom and her sister are really the end of the line.(Of course my wife passed years ago.) When my sister in law met up with me yesterday before we went to the hospital, see hadn't seen me for awhile. I wasn't wearing a ball hat and the first thing she said was something to the effect of "if I didn't know your hair wasn't natural, I wouldn't know." I said the hair or the color? The hair of course is all natural. She said no - the color or colors from what is left from my last high lighting. By this time, I was figuring the conversation was heading in the only direction it really could and I said, "yes my hair has been highlighted and there is a reason. Then, I told her the whole reason why, I was transgender which led to an hour's worth of questions about my life, my married life with her sister and my daughter.
Coming out to her went amazingly well with her for a couple of reasons. First of all, with all the love in the world, I would describe her as having a couple of screws loose in the noggin. So with no real right wind political or religious agenda, I figured she would not have many issues with me coming out. What blew me away though, was how much she already knew about trans women and men from television and it was positive. Naturally, there were more serious issues at hand and quickly we were on our way to the hospital.
I don't recommend this idea as an ideal way to come out to a family member and I wasn't planning to bring it up. When she was fishing with me though about what was going on as so many genetic women do-I just told her.
Ironically in her prime, she was a purse fanatic and when we got back from the hospital, she just had to show me the literally five large plastic tubs of purses she had stored away. My wife would change bags twice a year, her sister-weekly it seemed. At any rate, as she was going through them all and asking my opinion, she started giving me one or twoalong the way. To the left you see part of the 18 purses I ended up bringing home (most in trash bags)
All I can say is, it's too bad we aren't the same size!
Sunday, June 29, 2014
Cyrsti's Condo "Sunday Edition"
No "Kerplunk" yet this week kids-all kinds of a crazy weekend which started with Liz and I celebrating yet another Pride night close to her home turf across the Ohio River from Cincinnati in Northern Kentucky and ending with my deceased wife's mother who I still consider my Mother in Law in the hospital in very critical condition from a ruptured intestine.
Plus, just to add a little spice I came out to my sister in law today too.
More later.
Plus, just to add a little spice I came out to my sister in law today too.
More later.
Saturday, June 28, 2014
Trans "Girl Chat"
I have made mention here in Cyrsti's Condo of my two dear transgender friends, one a trans man and the other a trans woman.
The other night, I also made mention of the Equality Ohio meeting my trans girl friend invited me to attend. Afterwards, we were able to sit down and engage in some very rare T-girl chat.
No matter how you cut it, our experiences are so unique, it's difficult to even find another transgender person geographically close to you-let alone be able to sit down and talk face to face.
Even though my friend is much younger than me, in many ways we are at the same cross roads in our transition. An example is how we both agonize over actually pushing ahead with our gender marker changes. My problem is a combination of pure laziness and procrastination more than anything else. I'm notoriously bad about not living in the present, so if something isn't particularly bothering me (gender markers) then I can easily put them off in my mind. As we discussed (and I have written in the past) changing your gender marker with the DMV here in Ohio is not particularly tough and (as I understand it) neither is the social security set up.
On the other hand here, birth certificates are impossible. Plus, my trans guy friend has done all he could including a legal name change, so he knows the process and I can ask him for specifics. I do know I have to go back to my therapist at the VA to get some sort of a letter too, so that is not much of a problem. Other than that, I don't want to even get into how the VA works, except to thank trans vet Autumn Sandeen (shown above) for opening many doors I will need to go through to change my markers in the VA system which is a huge step towards NOT being called by your male name when you go in for an appointment.
Other than the marker chat, we talked about her work and how she planned to handle any transition on the job. All three of us have gone different routes with jobs. I of course am retired but I could tell you without a shadow of a doubt my last employer would have made any transition on the job hell on me. My trans man has transitioned on the job already (with - as I understand it various stages of acceptance.) Finally, my trans woman friend has not transitioned past the point of being viewed (I imagine) as a very effeminate man. One of them works for a perceived diverse company and the other company-not so much. Bottom line is, she has a lot to consider with transitioning on the job including no real legal protection.
By now you are probably thinking, did you two have any sort of girly girl chat? Yes we did. She asked me why I rarely wear skirts and what was I doing about facial hair. Truthfully, I am very much a contradiction in terms (again) in that I'm sort of a "Tom-Boy" trans woman and that's the way it is. (It sends the trans purists over the edge. Like I'm supposed to conform to their ideas?) As far as electrolysis goes, I have a couple problems called finances and aversion to pain. On the other hand, my friend is already baby smooth but seems to always be heading back for more treatments.
Finally, before we parted ways-we did talk about the future on a bigger "what if" scale, as far as possible surgical procedures. My trans man is actually close to his "top surgery" and I wish him the best and all of a sudden, there is a glimmer of hope (with recent developments) I may be able to at least look into the two procedures I would really like to have-breast augmentation and FFS, facial feminization surgery. I will have to get back with you on what my trans friend thought about herself except she "really" wanted something done about her nose.
So, all in all, it was a fun couple of hours with another person who has walked a mile in my shoes and vice versa. They are so difficult to find!!!
The other night, I also made mention of the Equality Ohio meeting my trans girl friend invited me to attend. Afterwards, we were able to sit down and engage in some very rare T-girl chat.
No matter how you cut it, our experiences are so unique, it's difficult to even find another transgender person geographically close to you-let alone be able to sit down and talk face to face.
Even though my friend is much younger than me, in many ways we are at the same cross roads in our transition. An example is how we both agonize over actually pushing ahead with our gender marker changes. My problem is a combination of pure laziness and procrastination more than anything else. I'm notoriously bad about not living in the present, so if something isn't particularly bothering me (gender markers) then I can easily put them off in my mind. As we discussed (and I have written in the past) changing your gender marker with the DMV here in Ohio is not particularly tough and (as I understand it) neither is the social security set up.
On the other hand here, birth certificates are impossible. Plus, my trans guy friend has done all he could including a legal name change, so he knows the process and I can ask him for specifics. I do know I have to go back to my therapist at the VA to get some sort of a letter too, so that is not much of a problem. Other than that, I don't want to even get into how the VA works, except to thank trans vet Autumn Sandeen (shown above) for opening many doors I will need to go through to change my markers in the VA system which is a huge step towards NOT being called by your male name when you go in for an appointment.
Other than the marker chat, we talked about her work and how she planned to handle any transition on the job. All three of us have gone different routes with jobs. I of course am retired but I could tell you without a shadow of a doubt my last employer would have made any transition on the job hell on me. My trans man has transitioned on the job already (with - as I understand it various stages of acceptance.) Finally, my trans woman friend has not transitioned past the point of being viewed (I imagine) as a very effeminate man. One of them works for a perceived diverse company and the other company-not so much. Bottom line is, she has a lot to consider with transitioning on the job including no real legal protection.
By now you are probably thinking, did you two have any sort of girly girl chat? Yes we did. She asked me why I rarely wear skirts and what was I doing about facial hair. Truthfully, I am very much a contradiction in terms (again) in that I'm sort of a "Tom-Boy" trans woman and that's the way it is. (It sends the trans purists over the edge. Like I'm supposed to conform to their ideas?) As far as electrolysis goes, I have a couple problems called finances and aversion to pain. On the other hand, my friend is already baby smooth but seems to always be heading back for more treatments.
Finally, before we parted ways-we did talk about the future on a bigger "what if" scale, as far as possible surgical procedures. My trans man is actually close to his "top surgery" and I wish him the best and all of a sudden, there is a glimmer of hope (with recent developments) I may be able to at least look into the two procedures I would really like to have-breast augmentation and FFS, facial feminization surgery. I will have to get back with you on what my trans friend thought about herself except she "really" wanted something done about her nose.
So, all in all, it was a fun couple of hours with another person who has walked a mile in my shoes and vice versa. They are so difficult to find!!!
Friday, June 27, 2014
Cyrsti's Condo "Cover Girl" of the Day
beautiful Thalita Zampirolli.
Tragic
While we bitterly kick around issues such as who is "trans enough" and who is politically correct...the real world comes crashing through...very close to me...since I am from Ohio and live part time in Cincinnati.
From Trans Ohio:
From Trans Ohio:
We are a community that pushes forward even as our community continues to face onslaughts of negative press, slurs and excessively high rates of violence. We have to.
Tiff Edwards, a 28-year-old trans woman of color was found dead yesterday morning in the middle of a Cincinnati street. She had been shot to death and her body was found by a city sanitation employee.
Tiff is the fourth trans woman to be murdered in Ohio within the last 18 months. “The brutality and violence we see being committed against trans communities of color is real. It’s happening in our own cities, in our own state. This violence needs to end. Trans lives matter,” Shane Morgan, said founder and chair of TransOhio.
Police aren't sharing much information about their investigation. We urge anyone in the Cincinnati community to contact the Cincinnati Police Department or call the Criminal Investigation Section at 352-3542 or CRIMESTOPPERS at 352-3040 or text “CINTIP” plus your message to CRIMES (274637). Callers may remain anonymous and may receive compensation for their information.
"While I didn't know Tiff or the circumstance surrounding her death, what I do know is that no human being deserves to die in such a violent way. Based on comments from social media she was well liked and will be missed but not forgotten. My prayers go out to her family and friends, may God comfort and keep them through this turbulent time," say Arykah Carter, TransOhio Board Member.
This violence must end. Trans Lives Matter. Not One More.
Not one more murder. Not one more death. Not one more.
We simply AREN'T disposable people!!!!
Organizin'
Last night I was fortunate in that I happened to be around my hometown and not Cincinnati and at the last minute my transgender friend told me of a meeting we should go to.
I live in one of the 23 or so Springfield's in the United States and not a place anyone is going to mistake for a hotbed of liberal activity. That's OK if you are talking about fiscal politics, not the social right wingers who of course base much of their anti TGLBQ beliefs squarely from the Bible.
The meeting last night was organized by Equality Ohio, who among other things is fighting for same sex marriage in Ohio (which we all know is just a legal battle away from happening) and a vastly more important anti-discrimination bill which is working it's way through the Ohio legislature again. Predictably, it always makes it through the senate and is shot down in the house of representatives and like in other places, it's a Democrat versus Republican issue. Unfortunately now, the Tea Party is beginning to rear it's ugly head here too.
I'm not going to get real political here but will simply say, personally I believe in the Tea Party's professed financial agenda but why in the hell did they feel the need to jump into a social agenda too? Locally there is written proof of a letter to the NAACP pushing the idea of TGLBQ rights possibly infringing on any of the future rights of the black population. Really? The scary thing locally is our long time state house Republican Representative ally is stepping down and a very virulent Tea Party candidate is running for his seat. They are like roaches in your tea-very hard to get out if they get in. This guy has already said he refuses to hire any GLBT employees or deal with any outside contractors who do.
Predictably, the meeting was sparsely attended and I don't make a value judgement on that either-I know many just can't when their jobs and livelihoods are at stake-and they are around here. I just happen to be at a juncture of my life where it is harder for the bigots to get after me. The group last night was diverse though, attended by two trans women, several gay men, an equal amount of lesbians and ally's. Plus, it was held in a church and the pastor attended.
What happened? We were given actual paper work, forms and phone numbers to contact our politicians. I'm the first to admit, I'm pretty jaded from a life of abuses from this country's political system - which some days I find amazing still works at all. BUT, when I was given the phone number to a very powerful politico in "Warshington" (local spelling) - Speaker of the House John Boehner, (yes I am in his district) I simply said, "I know you are a busy man but could you take a moment and reflect exactly why basic American freedoms are being withheld from a sizable portion of the population and what if they were your son or daughter?"
I don't want to walk away from this post sounding too negative. On the other hand, if any of us thinks out and out discrimination against our community is not happening should have been there with us last night to hear a few of stories. Too many of us think our freedoms are being fought for in far off lands by people in uniforms when in reality they are happening here and now.
I've said it before here in Cyrsti's Condo. You don't have to be "out" or a so called activist to make a difference when you vote. In fact you can stay safely in the closet and do the right thing- vote for TGBLQ rights.
If you follow the links above, they contain contact info.
I live in one of the 23 or so Springfield's in the United States and not a place anyone is going to mistake for a hotbed of liberal activity. That's OK if you are talking about fiscal politics, not the social right wingers who of course base much of their anti TGLBQ beliefs squarely from the Bible.
The meeting last night was organized by Equality Ohio, who among other things is fighting for same sex marriage in Ohio (which we all know is just a legal battle away from happening) and a vastly more important anti-discrimination bill which is working it's way through the Ohio legislature again. Predictably, it always makes it through the senate and is shot down in the house of representatives and like in other places, it's a Democrat versus Republican issue. Unfortunately now, the Tea Party is beginning to rear it's ugly head here too.
I'm not going to get real political here but will simply say, personally I believe in the Tea Party's professed financial agenda but why in the hell did they feel the need to jump into a social agenda too? Locally there is written proof of a letter to the NAACP pushing the idea of TGLBQ rights possibly infringing on any of the future rights of the black population. Really? The scary thing locally is our long time state house Republican Representative ally is stepping down and a very virulent Tea Party candidate is running for his seat. They are like roaches in your tea-very hard to get out if they get in. This guy has already said he refuses to hire any GLBT employees or deal with any outside contractors who do.
Predictably, the meeting was sparsely attended and I don't make a value judgement on that either-I know many just can't when their jobs and livelihoods are at stake-and they are around here. I just happen to be at a juncture of my life where it is harder for the bigots to get after me. The group last night was diverse though, attended by two trans women, several gay men, an equal amount of lesbians and ally's. Plus, it was held in a church and the pastor attended.
What happened? We were given actual paper work, forms and phone numbers to contact our politicians. I'm the first to admit, I'm pretty jaded from a life of abuses from this country's political system - which some days I find amazing still works at all. BUT, when I was given the phone number to a very powerful politico in "Warshington" (local spelling) - Speaker of the House John Boehner, (yes I am in his district) I simply said, "I know you are a busy man but could you take a moment and reflect exactly why basic American freedoms are being withheld from a sizable portion of the population and what if they were your son or daughter?"
I don't want to walk away from this post sounding too negative. On the other hand, if any of us thinks out and out discrimination against our community is not happening should have been there with us last night to hear a few of stories. Too many of us think our freedoms are being fought for in far off lands by people in uniforms when in reality they are happening here and now.
I've said it before here in Cyrsti's Condo. You don't have to be "out" or a so called activist to make a difference when you vote. In fact you can stay safely in the closet and do the right thing- vote for TGBLQ rights.
If you follow the links above, they contain contact info.
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