"T" Dar?

Pat was kind enough to send in this comment:


I maintain that it is important that as many of us get out and be seen and mingle with the civilian population as possible. At my height and weight and with my decidedly male features I do not fool myself into thinking that I pass. When I do go out I do my best to look my best but I am pretty much the same person regardless of how I am dressed. Every time I encounter someone with an open mind they may learn a little bit about me as a T person, trans folk, CD, guy in a dress, TG, etc. Whether I am dressed as a man or woman I like to think that people do not find me boring. I will engage on any subject and I do make a conscious effort to keep my filter on low.

For now my wife does not like the concept of my being out in a dress and she lives in fear that others will discover my dressing BUT being married to me her T-Dar is higher than other people's and she often will spot other Trans folks. There is one in the next town known as the town tranny. He shows up at parades and festivals. My wife has often discussed this person with her hair dresser who is married to a local cop in that town. This trans person is well like and fully tolerated and sometimes serves as a volunteer assistant for the local PD. My wife and I have both encountered this Trans person and we both think that I present as a more believable and better looking woman. The difference is that this person is out and about all the time and I am not. If I do get to talk with her some day I do need to tell her to try to tone down her safety vest orange or super hot pink nail polish on her fingers and toes. 

There is another T-person who I have never seen but who my wife seems to encounter once or twice a year in the supermarket. She tells me that he is taller than I am in his flats and that his makeup and hair are poorly done but he simply presents as a large guy in a skirt and blouse just going about the mundane task of food shopping.

We are moving forward and need to recognize the baby steps that we take every day as helping pave the way.
Pat

Thanks for the comment Pat!  I believe I may of heard about the person you are referring to and I have a tendency to believe you may have more trans tendencies than the town (Gender Slur). The reason being, you have more insight into the process other than presenting as a caricature of a woman (drag queen).  We all know drag queens are like the old comics in drag and the public knows of their true gender so all is well. Ha ha! Joe thinks it's Halloween year around!

Maybe the person in the market simply "takes for granted" he is what he is in a dress and that's fine but we all know what a little tender loving care can do for one's appearance.  A whole other topic.

Your wife is so much like mine was "back in the day" and we did have a good time with our "T-Dar". Today though, T-Dar could mean transvestite or transgender-a huge difference.  My wife could and did accept it in others but drew the line with me.

Burger Heaven

This post is fun for a couple of different reasons-food and public reactions.

Following the main day Saturday of workshops at the Trans Ohio Symposium, it was time for Liz and I to head on back to our hotel room, take a break and head out for a night on the town in Columbus.

The picture on the left is taken at The Ohio State Student Union with the Buckeye Mascot, Brutus Buckeye.  Of interest to me is how I could tell the effect of HRT is affecting my legs-adding a rounded feminine outer layer of fatty tissue under the skin-  extending up through my hips and rear.

To make sure I didn't slide backwards, I made plans to take Liz to one of the best "burger joints" in the country that night- Thurman's in Columbus, Ohio. Thurman's has been in business since 1942 and does have tremendous hamburgers!  The only problem I ran into was I had to eat them far more femininely (with a fork) than I ever did before.

The really cool part of the visit was how I was received. Past history has told me I should be prepared for any reception from a very chilly one, to at the least a nice one from the staff and the usual rude stares from other customers.  As I have said, Columbus is a very diverse city and Thurman's sits very close to German Village which is known to have a strong gay influence- but- as we know, "gay ain't trans." .  Not only were we made to feel welcome, I felt embraced. It was like Wow! they were honored there was a real live transgender woman there. Really?  The experience was positively wonderful! Also, being in Columbus as compared to Cincinnati, fewer other guests suffered neck injuries straining to look at me. (Sorry "Nati" I love ya' but it's true.)

Finally, as several of you party peeps know here in Cyrsti's Condo, certain foods (such as a great big burger) will set you up for success during an evening of drinking.  Our next stop was to do just that at a place called Club Diversity which I have mentioned here before. The name says it all.  "Diversity" is actually in an old Victorian mansion just south of downtown and is actually part owned by a transgender woman.  If I had to guess, the majority of the clientele is of the gay male type but you can expect a nice mellow mixture of others.  Except when a group of cross dressers who meet there monthly got kicked out for awhile. (Imagine that!)

Fortunately, I live very close to Columbus and have plans to attend TGLBQ Pride with Liz in a couple of months! So a trip back is coming up soon.

Hate

Of course, as soon as I begin to celebrate the diversity and acceptance of the weekend, as it always does, a touch of reality comes through.

This morning, I simply through on a pair of guy jeans, t-shirt and tennis shoes to do two errands before the day headed any further into the forecasted heat and humidity.  Pretty much what you saw in my last two pictures is what you get from me now anyway. Plus, an increasingly well defined set of women's breasts.

The only difference is how I do my hair, foundation, eye shadow and lip gloss in full girl mode.  I should say "what's left" of my foundation after humidity. I do think what is then left of my foundation sort of works it way into my face and around any beard growth- so all is good.  So, I'm lucky HRT is working it's skin wonders on my hair and skin or not so lucky as I felt this morning.

I stopped to pickup an iced coffee and gas.  As I was pumping my gas, I had this deep quick feeling something was wrong.  I looked up and saw this pin head-skin headed red neck literally hanging out the back of a tree service truck glaring at me.  I mean really glaring at me to the point I was scared.  At that point I did the only things I could, like pumping the rest of my gas-making a big deal out of my dog and getting the hell out of there.

I didn't take long to feel again how the "other half" lives.

Cyrsti's Condo " Up! " Power Scope! "

 I dearly love this "power scope" for a couple reasons.  First of all, this weekend (Saturday) my daughter is having a huge get together for my grand daughter and my new androgynous self will be meeting peeps I haven't seen for years and others I have never met.  It will be important to enjoy the moment for the moment and to hell with anyone else.
Then, later in the day, we will be attending a few of the TGLBQ Pride events in Dayton, Ohio.  A few of my friends want to go to a couple gay venues to party, which is cool by me.  Is my scope trying to tell me an "entitled? cis gay guy" is going to push me around and call me a gender slur? (Tra--ny)  Rest assured the slur will be tossed back at him and certainly I would never screw him!

I do look at all the Pride events this year specifically as a time to be proud of being a transgender woman , plus I plan to take advantage of the fun!


Libra-(September 23-October 22): Get crazy happy when you want to. This is a week for indulgence and feeling part of the moment. If you take anything too seriously, especially with relatives, you will just lose it. People are going to try to push you around — don’t take it. Instead, toss it back. Screw people who can’t respect you, as now is when they’ll learn never to underestimate you again.



For your "scope", go here to the theFrisky.

Cyrsti's Condo "Cover Girl" of the Day

Our feature cover today is the German  MtF transsexual entertainer Kim Petras.  If you haven't followed Kim's past, she was able to transition and complete SRS at a very young age. (16).

She was one of the earlier publicized examples of how gender dysphoria starts very early in life and is not a phase.  Kim Petras seems to be a "natural".

Own it Girl!

Mandy recently sent it this comment which triggered quite a bit of thoughts from you know who:

I hope to be in LA early next year (date still uncertain), and plan to rent a car to do some local sightseeing as Mandy. My ability to pass is far from perfection...but I think I'll give it a try, rather than duplicating the guy Jen saw. If folks are that tolerant, Jen's comment makes me hopeful that it will work out OK for me!  (Jen's comment):

I recently saw a guy waiting to cross a street in LA that was wearing a blue knee length dress. He had feminine cut brown medium length curly hair, and wasn't making any attempt to pass his face off as feminine.

I was really impressed!

I've many times thought that if I can't get to the point of passing well enough, that maybe I should just go with dressing feminine and accept what mother nature gave me as far as my facial features.

Of course we all know "passing" involves a percentage of "location-location-location" but is changing  thanks in a large part to the "younger" peeps, just presenting as the gender you want to be is becoming increasingly less taboo.  

Mandy, we all are chasing perfection in our appearances. It's fleeting though (as I'm sure any genetic woman can attest to.) Once your perfect hair is ready, the wind blows it all around.  Once your makeup is perfect-the hot weather melts it off but - as the great philosopher Gary Gilmore  said before he was executed by firing squad in Utah (and I say to the mirror) "Let's do It!"  Bottom line is,  you will never find out how much you can accomplish in the the world as a woman till you do it.

Actually, the perfect foundation to wear as you begin to meet the public is about six inches thick. When we begin to take on the world our insecurities are at an all time high.  Even one mean comment can send you scurrying back to the closet for cover. Plus, playing on line can give you a double dose of idiots. One of my favorite examples comes from Stana of Femulate.  She once answered an on line troll who slammed her for not "passing." She replied (paraphrasing)  "I pass quite well.  I make sure nothing is coming and use my turn signals."  My own personal on line favorite was when I was called "just another old guy on hormones."  

You've all seen a couple of my (non photo shopped) in the real world pictures. They are the proof of the fact on my best days, I am a gender "tweener".  Now though, the only person I try to pass as is me. One of our readers Pat, has written to that idea too. Certainly we aren't alone and I'm sure there are many of you Cyrsti's Condo readers who subscribe to the simple fact of when you own who you are, the rest of the world may own you too.  

Good luck Mandy!

Cyrsti's Condo "What If???"

It's all fun and games until his surprise blind date shows up in 15 minutes!

Blushing? Brides?

                                                                                     

Many cross dressers and transgender girls dream of the day they can achieve one of the ultimate moments in a woman's life- the wedding day.

All of the wonderful traditions topped off by the special dress-before the bride has to step into the reality world of being a wife.

As with anything else feminine, many of us in our world can only dream of what the experience would be like.  Others though, are able to take the dream a little farther!

No Rest for the Wicked?

Back home on this Monday trying to rest, recoup and catch up on life after a weekend at the Trans Ohio Symposium. Of course I have tons of ideas to pass along to all of you, but I'm going to try to focus them in a way which makes sense for all of us.  I know that idea sounds like a common sense one, unless you know me and how my noggin works.

If I had to come up with two words to describe the weekend, I would use Diverse and Inspirational.  This year I saw and met more transgender women of color and age than last year.  Several times I was immensely inspired by both groups and several transgender men I met.

The whole event caused me to rethink many preconceived ideas one builds up from very little personal interaction with others out side of my circle of friends and the internet.

Along the way, I will pass along the "best of the best", including meeting by accident "Andy" a ten year old  transgender boy.  My partner Liz and I first noticed him as we were standing in line for lunch on Saturday. Our only real interest at first was he was wearing a protective "boot" on one foot similar to Liz's. (Helping a broken ankle to mend.)  Being off in my own little world like I usually am, I just thought he was the genetic son of one the therapists who attended the Symposium.  He wasn't.  We watched as this little white kid wearing a railroad hat pulled out a small action doll of color in action figure fatigues.  Wow-talk about diverse.  As it ended up, Liz and I ended up eating lunch beside Andy and his Mom at lunch. It turns out next year, she is putting Andy into a mainstream public school and is naturally very concerned.

During the lunch itself, our keynote speaker was Kye Allums, who you may remember as the first transgender male athlete to play on a major college basketball team.  We will have more on his speech later as well as how I plan to change completely my workshop next year.

In the meantime, the picture of me above is taken from the third floor student union balcony of The Ohio State University in my knitted top Liz made me.  I am making the sign of the "O" saluting the OSU Buckeyes!  Go Bux!