Pride is Here!

At least in Cincinnati, Ohio that is. Over the years I understand, it has grown into the major event I know and this year they are expecting another record turnout. Like so many cities, LGBT Pride has turned into a week long event. Even the Cincinnati Reds (sometimes accused of being a major league baseball team) got involved.

The weather even is cooperating fairly well. High's will be in the low 80's, with the typical chance of thunderstorms. Due to my inability to stand for long wait times and then walking for over a mile, I get a privileged seat in our Official Cincinnati Witches Ball booth. Last year, I experienced tons of fun and positive interactions with the public...except the guy who thought I was Ozzy Osbourne. Over the duration of the party, we pass out information about the "Ball" which is actually a big Halloween Party and our organization as a whole.

Attire for me will be comfortable and cool, to match the weather. I plan on wearing an embroidered black tank top I have along with a pair of my distressed jeans or maybe even "Jeggings". (Legging's which look like jeans.)

Ironically, the only part of the event I dread is using the rest room. The restrooms are in a free standing building with stainless steel prison style toilets. As the day goes on, the women's room gets really gross. I keep thinking "Suck it up, Buttercup!"

All in all, if you have never been to a Pride, be sure to get to one if one is near enough to you. Times are a changing and they are as inclusive to transgender women and trans men as they once were to only garish drag queens. What I don't understand are those who complain about police being present at the Pride events. I will never forget hearing the Cincinnati Police Officer explain how last year, with the help of the Ohio Highway Patrol, they headed off a possible conflict with a man with stated goals of possible harm. It turns out he was carrying an automatic rifle.

The way I look at it though, these days, there is always a chance for some crazy to try to ruin an event and it isn't going to destroy my life!

Either way, enjoy your chance to be in an inclusive environment and enjoy yourself.

The Name Game.

Lately it seems, every time we turn around, someone is adding another letter to the LGBT moniker.

LGBT has become LGBTQ and beyond even, which I am not going to mention in this post. Oh well, why not. There is also LGBTQIA. If you wonder what all that means, "Q" is for questioning "I" is for intersex and "A" is for ally or asexual.

I still wonder though, what happened to the "C" for cross dressers?

Maybe you have to complete some sort of reality school to "graduate" up into the main lineup of letters? Also what happened to transsexuals? Remember when the all powerful Transsexuals "ruled" the roost after they climbed the gender dysphoria ladder to surgery and then disappeared? Maybe some still do, but almost all of the trans women who have gone through surgery I know these days are nice and mellow women.

Then there are the poor transvestites. Remember them? I remember explaining to a few key people in my world what the term meant. It seems pretty harmless these days. All I wanted to do was to dress like a woman. Of course, all of that started to change when the transgender term came along.

Every once in a while, I take a look at the other letters to see what they still mean to me. Although I know it drives many lesbians crazy, I consider myself a lesbian because I am a woman and live with a cis woman. I was gay "questioning" but never saw the need or desire and "Bi" is pretty self explanatory.

Finally, I am not intersex and I live with an ally.

Hopefully, I covered all the bases...I think I feel better!

Donation!

Actually, we mentioned this sometime ago here in Cyrsti's Condo but it is so big, I thought I would pass it along again:

Jessica and Chris Cicchinelli announced a $2 million donation Wednesday to Cincinnati Children’s Hospital Medical Center', money that will go toward training doctors and nurses to care for transgender patients.

Cicchinelli, the CEO of Pure Romance, and his wife launched the Living with Change Foundation in January, which is dedicated to providing education, resources, and financial assistance to the families, friends and teachers or transgender people.

It grew out their experience with their 10-year-old child, LC, who is transgender. Children's Adolescent and Transition Medicine Clinic helped them accept her as a girl.

Pure Romance, if you are not familiar, has been in business for twenty five years making "romantic aids" for women and men.  Plus, the Cincinnati Children's Hospital has an outstanding  regional center for transgender children. A match worth mentioning again during LGBTQ Pride Month. 

How Much "Fluid" do you Have in your Gender?

Like it or not, most humans have a certain amount of male and female built into us. Gender, like sexuality is on a spectrum. It's only the very rare few who have the chance to embrace and enjoy their "gender fluidity."

Of course Connie has another look, compliments of Cathy and the Cyrsti's Condo "Ultimate Cross Dresser post.

FABULOUSCONNIEDEEJune 19, 2018 at 4:58 PM

"She Cathy) was thinking more and more about adopting the "gender fluid" label. Some days she feels like a girl and some she doesn't".

I immediately started singing the old candy bar jingle after reading this.

Sometimes, I feel like a nut,
Sometimes, I don't.
Almond Joy has nuts,
Mounds don't.

(And then some of us have both mounds and nuts at the same time)

I'm not clear on what gender fluidity really is. In my mind, all humans are, at least, somewhat gender fluid. I think it's more of an instant by instant sort of thing, though, rather than day by day. Maybe some of us are more viscous in our fluidity than others?

For myself, gender fluidity is soluble. That is, any masculine traits I have retained are totally mixed in with the feminine. Allowing my feminine-self to take precedence, just as I was always meant to do, means that I now live as a woman who chooses which of the more-masculine traits to be mixed into my femininity. This is so different from the way I used to live, taking great care to both exaggerate the masculine and hide the feminine. It was simply unnatural for me to see or present myself as a man with some feminine traits, but that may work just fine for many others. My flow is most definitely running toward the feminine side, but I do still have some masculine undercurrents.

I do know that I will never allow myself to go back to the gender whirlpool of dysphoria, or even the paddling against the currents of shit creek without a paddle. "

Thanks for your insiight and candy bars.

The Ultimate Crossdresser?

This previous Wednesday, when I went to the Cincinnati LGBT Veterans Pride Day, I had the opportunity to chat with the group organizer, Cathy. She is the one standing in the middle in the picture.

Somewhere in the conversation, the topic turned to one of the other members of the group we were supporting.

Since I was never sure how she (Cathy) identified herself, I simply quoted the other member and said Wendy had referred to Cathy as the "ultimate cross dresser." Meaning (I think), that she is a very accomplished cross dresser.

I was a little surprised (then again not) when Cathy paused slightly and said, she was thinking more and more about adopting the "gender fluid" label. Some days she feels like a girl and some she doesn't.

I thought it was a great answer and thought I might pass it along to some of you Cyrsti's Condo readers who may be struggling with your gender identities!

Good Hair Day

Yesterday,(Sunday) all we seemed to get done was run around. It was even a two outfit day for me, which rarely happens.

First of all, we went out to a nice steakhouse for lunch, and then headed to the cemetery to honor Liz's Dad who passed away about this time last year. During a fairly brief trip on the Interstate, I decided to let the air have it's way with my hair. For better or for worse. To my surprise, it was for the better and a good time was had by us in the restaurant. I simply wore one of my new tops and a pair of culottes. 

Once we arrived back home. I changed into a black tank top I am able to wear around the house without a bra and not getting complaints from Liz. When she asked if I wanted to go with her, I not so slyly asked did I have to change clothes. To my surprise she said I didn't, it was hot outside and I could go with what I had on. So I was ready with my wind blown hair, black tank top and culottes. It made the day more enjoyable.

Now I am trying to figure out what I am going to wear to Pride coming up on Saturday. More on my choices coming up later.

It's Father;s Day

Father's Day means many different things to most of us. For some, it brings back memories of our own father's, living or passed on. This is far from a scientific survey but I think for the most part, fathers of transgender women were emotionally distant from their children. My Dad was an excellent provider but was an emotional rock. He rarely let anyone into his inner self. Then again, he was a survivor of the Great Depression and World War II.

Also, you have those of us who have children of our own. Unfortunately, too many of us are disowned by our children. A true shame, the off spring never took the chance to learn the true selves of their father.

My daughter accepts me totally and many times I think I am one of the most blessed people in the world.

Early in my Mtf transgender transition process, we came to several mutual decisions including how she and my three grand kids would refer to me. My dead name went away and my new name was accepted without question. Also we solved the complex question concerning me becoming a "grand parent" not a grand dad. My daughter and I are cool with her referring to me as "Dad" in private and "Parent" in public.

I hope, as I do every year here in Cyrsti's Condo, this Father's Day finds you safely in touch with your family, or have reached out to a new one in the LGBTQ community.

Another Look.

Perhaps you may have missed it but along the way here in Cyrsti's Condo, we have been discussing the TLC, television show "Lost in Transition." Also, you may remember, one of the couples live in Washington State and went on their anniversary to Seattle, where blog regular Connie lives. During the episode the transgender woman was made fun of and mis-gendered in a nail salon.  It turns out, Connie specifically knows the area and even the salon:

FABULOUSCONNIEDEEJune 15, 2018 at 2:37 PM

"OK, I finally recorded and watched the third episode - the one you are referring to here. I was really only curious about the couple from my neck of the woods, only to find them visiting the very place that I work five days a week! If you watch them walking around the Seattle waterfront, and down the pier, you can see some of the beautiful hanging flower baskets that I tend to. Had they filmed earlier in the day, I may have been on the show, as well!

I found it of interest that they visited that particular nail salon, as I walk by it a couple of times a day. I have been on the search for a new salon since my old manicurist retired last year, and I was considering trying this salon. Was it a coincidence that I was never getting a good vibe looking into the windows as I walked by? After seeing this episode, I guess I was right in not going in. Being outed by another customer is one thing, but I hate doing business with someone who misgenders me. To be fair, though, I think that the giggles were dubbed in, and did not come from anyone in the salon.

The cynical side of me (OK, the largest part of me) was disturbed by everyone in this show - the transgender women, their spouses, and the rather judgmental looks by the others who had just been informed of the transitions. As I have learned the value of "practice, practice, practice" from athletics and music, I don't understand how one can just decide to do, or be, something, and then expect others to be accepting. Of course, my perfectionist personality was responsible for about fifteen years of delay in my own transition. There may be as many right ways to transition as there are those transitioning, but there are plenty of wrong ways to do it, as well. I think that all of the people in this show would do well to read your blog before going any further. But, then, this show was filmed last year, so that advice is probably too late."

I agree with you on almost all you wrote. In all fairness to the producers of this show, they may have found they had waded into a subject with an immense expanse of material. Plus they are saddled with having to make ratings.

Again and again I would warn anyone about just deciding to announce they are transitioning without doing quite a bit of in depth research. Which, for the most part, does not include watching a television show on the subject.

Thanks for the comment and reference to the blog! 

Dammit!

As my hair appointment grows ever closer and the hotter it gets around here, the more I am thinking about asking my stylist to thin out my hair a little more than I originally thought.

I still know I want her to trim my bangs, so they are actually functional. You can see in this picture from the Cincinnati VA LGBT Pride day, what I mean about my hair and no bangs.  As far as the color goes, Liz is going to help me color it before I go for my appointment.





Coming up on the Pre- Fourth of July weekend,  two parties are coming up we have been invited to, so I definitely want to look my best. My "Stars and Stripes top arrived and it fits, so I know what I have to wear. I haven't seen these friends for awhile, so I think my look may work well! At the least, I can give it my best shot and maybe even get my nails done too.