"TransAssic" and the Trans Girl II

Yesterday I wrote a post called "TransAassic Park". I was attempting to point out the extreme differences in how the generations view the basic binaries of gender. In fact more than a few 20 somethings I met and heard from in Columbus a couple weeks ago preferred not to participate in a strict gender binary label at all.

Being one of the dinosaurs I mentioned, I wonder if a term such as transgender which appeared during my life and served a very real need for me may also become less and less relevant as I age further.

Example? Liz and I went to dinner last night.  HRT has given me just enough  precious passing privilege to help make life easier. But labels I'm sure get in someone's way. (To the consternation of many.) I have my own breasts and a semblance of a feminine figure compliments of my diet-but no one is slapping a genetic female label on me. Including me. However, I have become my own woman and she is happy to be here.

So, calling myself transgender anymore may describe may just be a "TransAassic" term of how I arrived at where I am today. Plus, it's a great label to use these days especially after the publicity binge we are going through. 

Truly though, I am not so sure it's accurate any more. Maybe it's time to put it into a closet in the museum?

"TransAssic" Park?

The more I watch and read about transgender reactions, the first thing I am beginning to look for is how old the person is. My first example comes from a reaction to the latest television series about a transgender family (actually two) which made its debut last night on the "The ABC Family Channel."  (left)



"Becoming Us"  is an unscripted story of young Ben, an Illinois teenager whose dad, Charlie, is transgender and becoming a woman before our very eyes! This reality show will run week after week to help educate our children about the normalcy of transgenderism. Add to the mix, Ben's dad divorces his mother plus his girlfriend's dad is also becoming a "woman!"

I saw the first show and thought it hit it's mark. Then, for some reason, I ended up scanning a post on the CP Opinion site by Larry Tomzack. The site is a self proclaimed "Christian" site. Predictably, good old Larry with 40 years in the "ministry" came very close to calling transgender women "perverts" (of course quoting the Bible all the way.)

Larry is a dinosaur and belongs in my Transasstic Park he has no idea of the current thoughts and needs of trans youth or the off spring of transgender parents. 

Then Connie passed along this from the venerable New York Times: "This weekend, the New York Times’ Sunday Review section featured an essay on Caitlyn Jenner’s Vanity Fair cover, trans identities, feminism and what “makes” a woman. Throughout most of the piece, writer Elinor Burkett refers to a “we” of cis feminists and a “they” of “trans activists.” These groups are not just distinct, according to Burkett — they are at odds.

Burkett begins with what she felt were disparate responses from feminists when Larry Summers — now professor and president emeritus of Harvard University and a veteran of the Clinton and Obama administrations — and Jenner — a former Olympian speaking to Diane Sawyer on behalf of herself — suggested in different ways that gender may be hardwired."

I immediately thought -if you can't beat em with brilliance-baffle em with bull shit and more exhibits for my park. (Burkett is 68.)

Recently I saw an interview with Jane Fonda as she reminisced about the days when she thought there was no way her or anyone else would/should make it past 30. The way the future of the T's of the LGBT community is shaping up- 30 is a good number - to step back and look at the younger generation behind you.

In the meantime, I will tell you where and when my museum will open and yes, I am saving room for my very own exhibit!

Going Womanless for a Great Cause

I have mentioned here in Cyrsti's Condo many times womanless beauty pageants around where I live were almost non existent when I was growing up. Several years ago, when the local benefits for cancer began to come along, many of them added a womanless beauty pageant to raise donations. One year, I actually pushed by another guy I knew to participate. You know, on of those guy things-I will if you will.

For any number of reasons, I didn't. The primary one I was already sort of/kind of out in my town as a cross dresser. Not a good idea at the time for others to connect more dots with me.

As I was skipping through my Pinterest boards this morning-this picture of an unidentified "contestant" and his girlfriend caught my attention.

Right now I'm thinking the girlfriend is thinking how long he is going to put up with the heels he is wearing and if he does why? He is thinking "Damn" I better look like I have never dressed like a woman before.

It's Not A Choice

One of the constant wrong impressions of transgender women and men is we had any choice when we chose to live a trans life.. It is one of the points I tried to get across along with my transgender sisters and brothers during the Trans Ohio Symposium. And, as a matter of fact, to a couple of my health care providers too.

My easiest explanation it seems is, cross dressing just never "got it done." My life just didn't feel right. Let me rephrase it, my life didn't feel seriously right.

Key note speakers this year at the Symposium were a serious blend of trans youth. Four, to be exact. All completely unique in their own way. One, was getting reading to head this fall to the University of Cincinnati and identified as more of an androgynous "agender" person. She spoke of waking in the morning and knowing she wasn't necessarily a girl, but definitely not a boy. Looking back into the dark ages of gender information when I grew up, I think I would have identified the closest with "Em's" story.

Perhaps the most serious impact was made by a 13 year old transgender boy who attended with his Mother and Aunt. His story was simply one of knowing his gender path and getting Mom on board after a very rough start.

If I could go back in time, maybe I could replace many of the trial and error cross dressing public trips I made with one or more symposium visits.

After all, I never had a choice and never knew it.

Nationwide!!!!!

http://socialwork.simmons.edu/socialworksimmons-celebrates-pride/

***Follow the link above for more!

It's Pride Season!

Around here at least, starting last weekend, you could/can attend a LGBTQ Pride Celebration every weekend through July. "Pride" of course can mean so many different things to so many different people. Simply put, the Pride days are to show the world who we are and we aren't going away. (No matter what the bigots hope for.-Alex.)

Trans Pride Flag

Personally, Pride has represented a deeper transition for me. Over the past five years, I was able to distance myself from the Queens on the floats (and some of the more flamboyant cross dressers I saw)-until last year I was able to completely let my "Trans Flag Fly." No I wasn't a gay man or a lesbian woman, I was me dammit. Quite liberating to say the least - but still easier said than done.

This year, I think the Pride I will be attending is Cincinnati's. Last year I went to Columbus and Yellow Springs, Ohio. I will be very interested in seeing any new/out transgender participation. Plus on the selfish side, I feel as if the less I am noticed the better(stealth?)

Finally, in my next post I am going to be sending along a graphic from the SocialWork@Simmons blog

I will point out ahead of time, it is a partial list!!!

Cyrsti's Condo "Sunday Edition"

Kerplunk! Another edition of our Sunday edition is hitting your virtual front porch. Here in Ohio we are going through another couple rather chilly days. Yesterday was only 69 (Fahrenheit) here where I am. During my pre HRT days I would relished this kind of weather but not so much now as I reach for my nearest long sleeve shirt. So, the "Joe" (coffee) is of the hot style this morning-let's get started.

Page 1.- The Week that Was -or Wasn't: On the heels of the Trans Ohio Symposium and the Caitlin Jenner reveal we basically had a week to step back and reflect on what had happened. In a sense, Jenner to me was a "be careful of what you hope for moment." For years I have struggled to educate any and all of the public I encountered. Then BOOM - they got educated all right or in some senses all wrong. But you know, I am not complaining. I just think it is diligent to remind "civilians" Caitlin Jenner has been blessed with transgender privilege most of us could ever dream of. Bottom line is though-no sour grapes here. I will take Caitlin's splash of  public relations and run with it. Not far though. I am not a jogger/runner and I am sure it won't take long for her epic publicity machine to crank out more publicity. Rumor has it, if you want to book Caitlin in for a speaking engagement, you can for a "mere" 100 grand. (100,000 dollars)

Page 2.- Transgender Ally's Are Alive and Well. At least they were-in force-at the Trans Ohio Symposium this year. It was cool, they wanted to know what made us tick in some ways and wanted to reach out to us in others. After all, we were their closeted next door neighbors for years and sadly often the ones who tried and succeeded at suicide. Just as sad to me were the nearly total lack of trans women who were willing to give back. Then again, our trans hope lies in our future and there were several very visible examples of the different types of our youth. If you remember the overall surprise when Facebook came out with their new gender choices, at Trans Ohio you saw why. They use them. Binary's were out for the weekend.

Page 3.- Trans*forming the Dialogue: Recently Simmons College announced an initiative to open yet another line of communication for the transgender world: (In their own words)

 "Trans*forming the Dialogue is a blog carnival and social campaign aimed at raising the voices of those within the transgender community. We are asking bloggers and social advocates alike to offer their perspective on how we can foster a more progressive and productive dialogue about trans*lives."

I encourage all of you to check it out and participate! To take a look, go here.

Page 4.- The Back Page: Thanks so much for taking your precious time to stop by Cyrsti's Condo. It has always meant the world to me. Have a great week and if the Goddess is willing, we will do it again next week!!!

I'm Hurt

Last week, I wrote a post here in Cyrsti's Condo about a "day trip" vacation Liz and I took to Ripley, Ohio and Augusta. Kentucky. Augusta is just a short small ferry boat ride across the river. I wrote at the time (I paraphrase) "Augusta was/is a charming sleepy little Ohio River town. As it turned out I was wrong. Augusta was just sleeping that afternoon after the CSX coal train rolled through and we ate lunch. My apologies to Augusta. Turns out I missed all the action.

Now, fast forward to this week and I saw a story on a Cincinnati television station about movie star George Clooney and new wife Amal visiting George's childhood home in Augusta. Now, I knew George grew up in Northern Kentucky, but never knew exactly where and he still has immediate family there.

According to TMZ, George put out the big money and treated new wife Amal to "Poor Man's Pie."

I'm hurt because no one mistook me for Amal when I was there. Must have been the accent?

Advanced Training?

I picked this up through Stana's Femulate blog and similar to so many other excellent posts I see from her, this one really resonated with me. It was actually posted by Monica:

"I recently went to SF and then on to Denver to go to Art of Feminine Presence (AFP) Training.

This was my fourth time going to AFP. I am still amazed that our community has not taken to this; it really is the best way I have found for getting in touch with my feminine essence.

My companion for the training was my friend and well known voice coach Kathe Perez

I was surrounded for six days by loving caring and sympathetic cisgender woman who treated me as one of their own.

I have a theory, if you want to learn Japanese, you do not go to Japan and hang around with Americans. Similarly, if you want to get in touch with you feminine essence, hanging around with cisgender women is likely to be more productive than hanging around with transwomen. I am just saying! Get outside your comfort zone and you will be amazed at what you can achieve and learn!"

This post resonated with me for several reasons. First, I went through similar trials and tribulations as I was coming out of the closet. Unlike Monica, I couldn't find any trans women to hang out with if I wanted to. There were plenty of what I call "predators in dresses" but no true trans women.  Similar to Monica, I began to hang out with nothing but cis women who consistently accepted me and pushed me out of my comfort zone. In fact they flat out tossed me off a gender cliff.  I too was amazed on what I did (and have) achieved and what the future holds.

I love the line "I have a theory, if you want to learn Japanese, you do not go to Japan and hang around with Americans." I do think if you are going though, I think it is impossible not to bring some of your male past with you to spice your feminine essence!