Cyrsti's Condo "Cover Girl" of the Day

Our feature Sunday cover just proves what many of you have commented on here in the Condo, when you cross dress a very pretty androgynous boy as a girl, chances are the transformation produces a pretty- not so androgynous girl; such as Luiss San Murguia, a   Mtf  model:  

Cyrsti's Condo "Sunday Edition"

"Ker Plunk!"  Another edition of our Sunday edition has hit your computer!

Page 1.-Mom.   Mother's Day is  still a ways off, but I couldn't resist a couple references to my Mom because they fit so well!  The first came when I was thinking how fast the week went by.  My Mom, the noted philosopher, said at one time "life is like a roll of toilet paper, the closer you come to the end, the faster it goes."  How could one forget knowledge such as that?  The other indirectly came from a recent post which referred to my lack of expertise in math- I sucked.  I was not alone it seemed as a received this response from Mandy Sherman:

If girls "aren't supposed to be good at math" and "boys are," then it's quite clear that I really am a girl in a boy's body. 'Cause without a calculator, my math ability sucks, and with a calculator it isn't a whole lot better.... Unfortunately, I never had the opportunity to take home economics in school...it might have been the better choice! Mandy

As it turned out Mandy, my Mom was a Home Economics teacher at the high school I went to.  I too would have enjoyed "Home Ec" more than the college level math and science classes I was forced into except if Mom taught it.  I was in enough trouble already being in the same school as her.  Sadly the whole lack of freedom in high school was just another example of being pounded in a square hole as a round peg.

Page 2.- Coming Soon.  As Mom said, I'm getting close to the end of the TP roll this month and into May and time will fly. I'm sure how over the next month or so you will get tired of reading me whine about situations I put myself into.  The festivities start out the end of May when I present my workshop at the Trans Ohio Symposium and roll out my book "Stilettos on Thin Ice."  No pressure, right?  The next weekend is a huge party of sorts for my grand daughter.  Peeps are expected from all around the country and an occasion I have decided will be highly androgynous for me.  I had thought about coming as me but then thought it should be her day, with no distractions.  I will have to find an extra large loose shirt, tie my hair back and go for it. Finally, beginning the end of May and into the latter part of June, there are tons of Pride events in the cities around me which sound like great fun.

Page 3.- Cha-Cha Changes.  This morning I had a pleasant surprise when I put on a bra I haven't worn for awhile which is a real live "C" cup and I actually almost totally filled it out.  Truthfully, I hadn't paid much attention to development.  I either used my old breast forms or just went braless. Instead I was focused on improvements in my hip and butt areas.  My goal is this summer to do natural justice to a summer sun dress.  Standing in my way is weight loss and skin care.  I have very sensitive "sun burnable" skin.  To take the weight off, I like to work outside, which of course means plenty of suntan lotion.

Page 4.-Back Page.  This week there isn't one.  So simply, Y'all have a great week and as always, thanks so much for visiting Cyrsti's Condo!

Cyrsti's Condo "Cover Girl" of the Day

Our Saturday cover feature is the androgynous male model Mishel Mood:

Prom Daze

I wrote a post here in Cyrsti's Condo perhaps two years ago revisiting my prom experiences and got blitzed by a couple readers.  Their problems seemed to be wrapped around the fact I went to Prom at all and was sort of bragging about it. For them to even think that represents a real failure on my part of communicating my thoughts.  To you international visitors, "Prom" is a spring ritual rite of teen passage-often involving more angst, expense and even pain than anything else.  In other words it's a formal dance, dinner etc.

I went to my junior and senior proms.  Interestingly, it's held against me now, by some who want to attach some sort of former male privilege to going.  I thought just the opposite was true.  As the guy, I had to find a date, not be the one in the pretty dress, and finance most of the evening.  Some "privilege", right?  I know now of course, the view from the girls side of the fence wasn't quite that green either.  She had to wait to get asked, obsess over finding the right dress and hope the clumsy boy (me) didn't gouge her trying to pin the corsage on or ruin her new shoes stepping on them while we danced.  Oh yes, I experienced another male privilege when I got cornered by my senior date's Dad, and told what not to do with his daughter.

Sadly, at least in my generation, the whole affair was set up for failure and we never knew it.  The popular kids socialized and won Queen and King contests, while the rest of us struggled along just by being there, or not going at all.  Today there is hope as more and more schools are being forced to open up their prom events to transgender, gay or lesbian students.  As with so many other things, the younger generation is doing a better job than we did, which is wonderful!

Oh yes, there are two side notes to my senior prom.  One is tragic because years later my date committed suicide following her second divorce.  Among other things, she was worried about her declining looks -she was a beautiful 40 something woman when she did it. Maybe her Dad should have spent more time building her esteem and not harassing me (No grudge though!). The other is fun in that the supper club we had dinner in that night years later became a gay venue.  I couldn't wait to go there and use the same bathroom the girls used that night - and I did and didn't pee down my leg!

So there you go kids, I hope maybe this time I was able to do do a better job of communicating what prom meant to me.

Cyrsti's Condo "Cover Girl" of the Day

Our feature cover today is the gorgeous Mtf transsexual woman Maria Roman

Transgender Onions

Identifying as a transgender woman these days continues to be a fascinating experience. Seemingly, once a week, I am genuinely surprised by something I read, see or personally experience. Lately, I have been fascinated by the number of truly beautiful androgynous pictures of people I see on line.  I have begun to refer to them as "too much beauty for one gender."   The example on the right is Alexander Bekker from Russia looking for all the world like the sexiest sultry "vampiress" of Count Dracula's dreams, but stops short with a bare male chest.  Sure I know this example is "photo shopped" to hell and back but many others just aren't.    

Then there are the "new" generation of transgender thinkers such as Parker Malloy,  who are challenging the very basics of what we are about. Primarily the notion held by most of my generation that one should transition, find a man and disappear into society. For any number of reasons, I didn't fit that mold but took another path and began a serious transition on HRT from cross dresser to transgender. Now it seems I'm peeling back another layer of the onion and transitioning again to a place I thought was impossible to access.  

Do you remember the 1989 movie called Altered States ? The plot centered around actor William Hurt who played a Harvard scientist.  He conducted experiments on himself with a hallucinatory drug and isolation chamber. In the movie he ends up regressing genetically (as you will too if you watch the movie "under the influence" too many times)!  My point is now I'm seemingly beginning to be able access a female persona in myself- "female" not "woman". The problem is I thought it was impossible.  I felt no matter how many operations you had and meds you ingested, you are a woman-not female.  Now , I'm not so sure.  Much of my "altered" belief comes from the different way I perceive the world these days and a portion of it seems to not be a "learned" response but a brain driven one.  I've even taken my thought pattern to the point of SRS, which is pretty much out of the question for me due to financial and even age considerations.  But, what if it wasn't, would I?

There is obviously so much more to this story that has not been written and even if I did go for SRS, a whole new transition would take place to write about. Also, like it or not, the Grim Reaper holds the rights to the final chapter. So, in the meantime,I hope he stays away and I will get back with you when I peel another layer of our onion. Hope it doesn't make us cry!

I

400 LARGE!

I'm sure you remember this story which actually is about a year old from (in this case) the not so friendly Pacific Northwest.  What happened was a transgender / cross dressing group was abruptly told to leave a tavern they had been meeting at for some time.  Here is the result on the Cyrsti's Condo big screen:

What Was I thinking?

You just know the girl on the right in this picture is thinking why the hell did I let this guy in my closet?

Taking It All for Granted?

I read a post this morning from the Paula's Place blog which I visit regularly.  Here's an excerpt which caught my eye and heart.  She has being doing an alphabet blogging challenge which explains her reference to the "R post."

My life is at a point of flux and I am uncertain which way it is going to go. A few days ago under my R post I said I was Ready, well I am but I am also uncertain, and just a little frightened. I am aware that this is a one way journey, and that I am getting close to a point of no return, and I need to consider how this will affect other people as well as me. 

 Many of my friends are telling me that I should only consider myself, but I believe I need to consider my daughter in all my actions, how will what I choose impact on her life. She is stridently inclusive in her outlook, but these things can often be different when they are personal, when it is your own father. I am also uncertain about my wife, my Church, and my customers. At some point I will need to make these decisions but not just yet.

Of course I was in Paula's shoes for literally decades.  Now, I try never to take my situation for granted because as I have said a zillion times here in Cyrsti's Condo, the path to my transition was made easier by several very sad events in my life.  Here's an example:  Through Frock Magazine, I recently learned of a film company which was searching for participants to work with them on a transgender documentary.  Being the curious critter that I am, I contacted them to learn what they were looking for.  It turned out they were looking for transgender persons who were in the process of actively coming out to others-which pretty much left me out.  I told her my story of almost everyone of substance in my life fooling around and dying on me in a two year period. (Except my parents who passed years ago.) With a clean slate, I just started over and formed a circle of friends who never knew the old me to start with and came out to my only child, a very accepting daughter. It was clear, I didn't really fit what she was looking for.

So while I can understand Paula's dilemma's, as the days pass, I have to be careful I don't lose my empathy for her and so many like her.  Not having a job to worry about transitioning in, a wife who passed years ago who never accepted me being more than a cross dresser and an accepting religion-I'm certainly in the right place for the sad reasons.

At the end of each day and at the beginning of each new day, I must make sure I never take any of my life for granted and Paula, follow your soul girl friend!