Alone on an Island

On the rare occasions anymore when I get the question on how it is to be transgender, I reply, it used to be like being alone on an island.

Back in the day, in the pre internet dark ages, it was really the case. I know I felt so alone. I just had to be the only boy ever who wanted to cross dress and be a girl. Slowly but surely though, I found out other boys wanted to be Shirley too. When I discovered Virginia Prince (right) and the term transvestite.

One of the first "facts" I discovered was most transvestites were not gay. Much to my relief at the time. Little did I know, I was just not having sexuality issues, just gender ones.

At any rate, as soon as I could... when I got out of the Army, I paid for a subscription to "Transvestia Magazine." From the magazine I learned of an actual chapter within driving distance of me in Cleveland, Ohio. From there, I set out to actually meet other inhabitants of my island which I discovered wasn't so uninhabited after all. Plus I learned not all were so called heterosexuals either.

From the group in the days before transgender was even a popular term, I discovered there was a real cross section of inhabitants on my island. I met everyone from cross dressing bitches to guys in dresses smoking cigars. But most intriguing to me were the very few participants who just seemed so feminine and natural. It seemed, they had found their true calling in life as women. I often wondered at the time if I could (or would) ever be able to explore such a path.

The more I did explore, the more I found my little island wasn't so little anymore, and was full of very interesting critters.

Along the way, the search led me to more than a few twists and turns. Plus life turned out to be exceedingly difficult at times, but never boring. I came to like my island!

TGIF

Indeed, another Friday is here in the Cyrsti's Condo and since I have exhausted my life story experiences (mostly), material is sketchy.

This post goes way back to a simpler day in the early 1960's before LGBT and transgender were part of my and most others thought patterns. As you may or may not remember, transvestites were considered to be mentally ill. For me at least, these days even predated Virginia Prince.

I did have a few more responses to being "home alone" and the precious times we all remember. I was fortunate in that both of my parents worked but I had a two year younger super inquisitive brother who seemingly was always hanging around being a pest. So being totally alone and having free roam of the house and yard (since we didn't have any neighbors) was rare.

Dad built his own house and little did he know the long straight hallway he built in was a cross dresser's dream up to and including the full length mirror at the end.

Our mailbox was about 50 yards from the house down a winding driveway to the road which back in those days was very untraveled. Most of the time I could walk down the driveway feeling the delicious air on my nylon covered legs without ever seeing a car. Which was probably a good thing.

Unlike some of you (Connie) I never was able to spend the night by myself as a girl, so the nightgown experience was mostly out.

Of course the fear of discovery was always there, which truthfully added a little spice to the whole experience. But, as good experiences always go, the time alone went all too soon.

Life Turns on a Dime Part Five

 For me these were the days shortly after Virginia Prince and her Transvestia publication burst upon the scene. I was still amazed others in the world felt the same way I did. So, I ordered several issues of Transvestia and discovered a group of hetero sexual transvestites who held mixers through out the country. The closest to me was a very drive able Cleveland, Ohio so I paid my dues and headed to my first of several mixers.  

From those mixers I learned several important lessons including a much closer chapter forming in much closer Columbus, Ohio. 

Other lessons learned were some there were hetero questioning or as I called them "admirers in drag" cross dressers, and even a few who were on their way to perhaps a stealth (SRS) transsexual full time existence as a woman.

What Virginia never wrote about though was the difference internally was between a male who could pass as a female and one who had a feminine soul. So I know Virginia and others considered her a transgender pioneer but I am one of those who is not so sure.

I also discovered a very distinct social system as distinct as the one high school girls had. Very quickly I called them the "A" listers  because of their "mean girl" style social clique. You definitely had to look a certain way to be invited into the group. Which of course I didn't. However, these also were the ones who left the motel/hotel to go party elsewhere later in the evening. Later on I would attach the "trans-nazi" label to them but still tagged along-invited or not.

Other notable exceptions to the norm were the guys in their fancy dresses and smoking cigars as if to not let too much of their male self go.

Two dimes were dropped on me during these mixers in Cleveland. One, was an invite to join the group in Columbus and the other thanks to a free makeover at a mixer.

I pulled up my big girl panties and let a makeup artist take all my war paint off and start over. The results were startling. I was even invited to go along with the "A" listers without having to invite myself. Most importantly though as the night was beginning to wind down (right in front of all of them, a guy who seemed real nice invited me to stay over for a drink. I often wondered what would have happened had I said yes?

As promised though, I discovered an even smaller incredibly diverse group to learn from in Columbus as time marched ever forward.

Coming up next, German Village.

Just Another Day in Paradise?

As you regulars around here in Cyrsti's Condo may know, I have the attention of a seven year old.  Plus, I write tons and read very little.  Recently though, Liz acquired a copy of a book called "Dress Codes-Of Three Girlhoods, My Mother's, My Father's and Mine."    The book was published back in 2002 by Noelle Howey.

Literally, after approximately three months of reading the last 75 pages of a 325 page book, I formed several thoughts: On a pure mechanical basis, I know how hard it was to write my first book "Stilettos on Thin Ice" which wasn't  even close to being as long. I wonder how anyone else does it.

Secondly, the family perspectives from a generic female on her way to becoming a woman was perhaps too much detail for someone like me-but-that's just me.  Also, became quickly apparent too, was how much the overall climate for transgender women and men has changed since she wrote the book.

Finally, as I blissfully waded through my reading of "Dress Codes" I was moderately interested in the fact the whole family is from Ohio.  Cleveland area to be exact.  She began to mention "Christine's" tentative first steps out of the closet came at cross dresser meetings around Cleveland. Christine also mentioned meeting the never charming, self proclaimed transgender pioneer Virginia Prince.

I operate in a tunnel and never really wondered about the timing of Christine's cross dresser meetings, until finally Noelle wrote about her (Christine) winning the Miss Paradise Pageant in 1989. And, with the help of electrolysis and HRT, Christine came fully out of the closet.  Being the brilliant person I am, my noggin finally kicked in and I remembered I attended a few of those " Paradise Club" meetings in Cleveland in the 1980's. I don't remember a Christine.  What I do remember is how diverse some of the meetings were.  Not only was I meeting other professed hetero cross dressers, I was meeting another spectrum of attendees ranging from fetish cross dressers to those who (like Christine) had their sights on SRS later in life.

The biggest drawback was "Paradise" only lasted a very short time and I hope so many years later, Christine has found hers!

A Transphobic Pioneer?

For those "more mature" girls here in Cyrsti's Condo, the "dark ages" of information during our youth and longer is hard to remember. How did we exist back in those days without our cellphones and all the other electronic info devices we have today.  The answer is simple, unless you lived in a major metropolitan area, obtaining any information concerning your gender identity issues was tough to come by.

One of the first persons I discovered was Virginia Prince (left). As with most issues in our community Virginia is thought of in many different ways. On one hand she lived nearly 40 years as a woman but denied being a transsexual, which today could be considered transgender but also was perceived as being homo and transphobic.

None of that really mattered to me as I eagerly read her first couple of books including the "The Transvestite and His Wife"- and never showing it to my wife who knew I was a cross dresser.  Shortly after that in the early 1990's I began to attend far away Tri Ess meetings, a  nearly 150 mile one way trip and subscribed to Transvestia. Published by Virginia.  Ironically, I benefited so much from many of the exact problems she had with others. Transsexuals in particular.

Very quickly I found there were several groups within a group at the so called hetero cross dresser "only" meetings.  One of the "groups" would always separate from the main bunch in the hotel we met at and go to the nearest gay venue. Those evenings included some of my first contacts with the diverse subculture I was in including transsexuals and drag queens. Let's just say I had a fairly good idea a portion of the group were not completely "hetero" cross dressers. I loved the diversity of the group.

Then as today, I do think of Virginia Prince of one of the gender pioneers in my life. She opened my world, although I did view her as a throwback to my stodgy old grandmother.

If you don't know much about her, Dallas Denny has written an excellent in depth look at her life. To take a look, go here.

Virginia Prince-Role Model?

If you are more mature you will remember Virginia Prince and her book "How to Be Female Though Male".(1979) and an earlier book "The Transvestite and His Wife".(1967).
Recently, Prince who passed away in 2009 has been credited and not credited with first using the Transgendered term.
Regardless of all of that, I remember buying both books and wishing I still had them as transgendered collector items! I'm thinking of coming up with the 12 bucks or so to reread them to see what is still relevant. As far as I know it all  could be.
When I read it I was 30 something and really going through my transgendered adolescence. I viewed Prince as a prude Grandma type (and still do!) But I did use both books to help educate my wife!
Every once in awhile, her name does come up and I even thought of her the other night in a restroom.  I was going through my purse looking for my lipstick. As I was looking I came across the "feminine hygiene product" I carry in my purse. Why do I carry it? Because so many years ago my "Grannie Virginia" said I should.  She said it was a sure fire way to solidify your female image in the women's room. You could be able to help a fellow girl in need!
As I was mentally reliving my past Virginia Prince's name came up loud and clear.
If by chance you don't know much about her, she is an interesting pioneer of sorts in our transgendered culture. Her legacy still provokes quite a bit of pro and con discussion!
She also founded "Tri-Ess" still very much in existence today. Tri-Ess  bills itself as the (The Society for the Second Self) ; an international educational, social and support group for heterosexual crossdressers, their partners, the spouses of married crossdressers and their families.
Tri-Ess has more than 30 chapters nationwide in the United States, and is a member of the World Congress of Transgender Organizations.
The group initially provided me with my first steps out of the transgendered closet and ironically introduced me to many individuals of all sexual persuasions. I vividly remember the first meetings with my wife.  From rooms with cigar smoking men in dresses (before it was chic) to beautiful girls getting ready to out on the town, the group was wonderfully diverse. I met friends I knew for decades, had my first makeover and first attempted pick up move by a guy in a bar. That was only the beginning.
Over the years I grew past Tri-Ess but highly recommend the organization for those who need a high level of discretion or are just discovering  more of their female self. It certainly worked for me and is another huge reason I'm the girl I am today.

Transistion Pioneer?

The first crossdresser to transisiton?
A couple of days ago, I read  a comment in one of the groups I'm in. The person said she had never met a person who transitioned who was a crossdresser.. I really didn't understand but then again I did.
I know many today are moving towards labeling transsexuals as a medical situation rather than a mental one.  I'm not smart enough to even try to get into that debate. (or want to)
I've always maintained  that all of us are crossdressers. From the guy who wears his wife's panties once a week to a fully changed woman, we are still wearing the clothes of the opposite sex. Having said that, I don't think of myself as a crossdresser. Why? Because I SO much feel like a girl most of the time. Even that can be argued.  How could I ever know what a real girl feels like?

"Virginia Prince" circa 1948.

Who cares, it's all sematics. (and boring at that). Back to trans pioneer women.
We will never no for sure, but "Virginia Prince" could have been the publicized first. She was a trans pioneer who took the full time path without any surgery. She did take hormones and underwent electrolysis however and was one of the few resources for "hetero crossdressers" back in her day.
So, by not going through surgery was Virginia more of a crossdresser
who went through transisiton than Christine Jorgensen?
We will never know how Virginia herself would have approached this. She excluded gays and transsexuals and was a huge proponent of "ladylike" behavior.
Her opinion today would certainly be interesting.
I f she stepped to the podium to accept her pioneer award. She certainly would have been dressed appropriately!

Read more: http://zagria.blogspot.com/2008/04/virginia-prince-1912-pharmacologist.html#ixzz1Fb6FCs6k
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