When LGBT+ pioneers are discussed, a number of famous faces probably spring to mind. However, one person you may not immediately think of is Caroline Cossey – also known as Tula – a Bond girl, dancer and top model who took the British government to the European Court of Human Rights in the ’90s in a bid to change discriminatory UK laws.
This quote really brought back memories of my very early days when I was entering out into a terrifying yet exciting feminine world.
It seemed everytime I tried something would go wrong. An example would be when my heel snagged a crack in floor at a mall I was walking in. I went from from proudly walking along to almost falling on my face. Overtime, I fell on my face quite a bit but I learned.
Overtime, I learned practice did make perfect and I learned to live as a transgender woman full time. Probably what really happened was I finally arrived at a point where I was comfortable in my own skin and didn't need an imagined acceptance from the world to live an authentic life.
This quote comes close to saying it all:
I was shocked recently to learn of the unexpected passing of Jerry Mallicoat. I know most of you have probably never heard of him and up until fairly recently I hadn't either.
It wasn't so long ago though he reached out to me to work on the Elderly Alliance LGBT Board of Greater Dayton, Ohio. He was also instrumental in me receiving the LGBT Veterans award.
Jerry was happily married to John and they lived together in Dayton.
I was fortunate to have been able to participate in several of Jerry's seminars on LGBT aging. I was pleasantly surprised how well he was able to explain the differences between transgender seniors in relation to lesbian, gay or even drag queen individuals. Jerry went out of his way to explain why RuPaul was in no way ever a woman.
This short blip comes from NBC News a year or so ago:
"Jerry Mallicoat, 58, fought for LGBTQ rights in Ohio his entire adult life. Now, he’s helping LGBTQ elders lead active and fulfilled lives.
Mallicoat co-founded Rainbow Elder Care of Greater Dayton, which provides advocacy, educational resources, support and referral services to the elder lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer community."
It seems too little to say but Jerry's very sudden passing proves life is too short and you should do your best to make a difference like he did.
Rest in power Jerry, you did a great job in life.
Gauri Arora is an Indian model. She is known for participating in Khiladi Ka Ghar 1 and MTV Splitsville.
Here is a "before and after" picture:
Recently here in Cyrsti's Condo, I shared a comment from Paula and her thoughts on being a transgender musician. After going back and checking the post I noticed the link she shared to her blog didn't work for me at least. Back in another Cyrsti's Condo platform I always had her blog in my "Wanna Hook Up" linking section.
To straighten things up, I re-added her link for you all to find. Here is the link: https://paula-paulasplace.blogspot.com/ and she currently has a great post called "A Bad Year for Showoffs" you may want to check out.
In the meantime, here is a excellent picture of Paula.
Fashion designer Saisha Shinde has announced she is transgender. She shared the news in a statement on Instagram writing,
Last night, being the glutton for punishment I am, I became involved in a rather lengthy discourse with a person on Facebook Messenger.
Her profile stated she was a lesbian and her picture showed her to be a very butch one at that.
Very quickly she asked if I was sitting down and told me she was considering a "sex change". About that time I wondered if she had read my profile at all. She asked if I was a lesbian and I said yes, a transgender lesbian who has been living with my lesbian partner for nine years now.
Then we exchanged pictures and went into the fact she had a doctor's appointment in Denver in a couple days to determine if she could start testosterone patches. Having a mustache was her goal. I replied I have a very close transgender man friend who has attractive facial hair so she should too.
Surprisingly, the whole conversation went easily until it was time to call it a night and go to sleep. I told her goodnight and turned my phone off.
The real surprise came this morning came when I turned it back on and read her last message...good night "Buddy". Buddy? Really?
If I ever hear from her again, I will mention how many years it has been since anyone has ever called me Buddy.
If and when she apologizes I might actually ask her what pronouns she prefers I use.
I should also learn never to set my expectations too high. At the least though, I received input for another blog post.
It's never easy making the journey from one gender to another. I am biased but I think it is one of the most difficult things a human can do.
Each of us has their own path they followed and fortunately I can share two ideas from Cyrsti's Condo readers who successfully Mtf gender transitioned.
The first comes from Paula: "I believe we go through a concentrated growing up process, those of us who transition later in life miss out on a female adolescence, we don't have benefit of either contemporaries or older women teaching us how to be women. we could observe from outside, we could watch but were never part of the sisterhood. In consequence we had a steep learning curve, I know I personally made many a teenage mistake, inappropriate hemlines, poor makeup, inappropriate personal interactions, all girls do the difference is I had to make these learning mistakes in my 50s! It can be a little embarrassing looking back on my early blog posts, the emphasis on clothes and makeup, all the photos but it is part of my process, part of my growing up, part of my history."
The second comes from Connie: "I've long held the theory that many trans women express their femininity, at least early on in their trans lives, based on what the male side of themselves find attractive. I'm not referring to autogynephilia, as this attraction is not necessarily sexual in nature. It may have something to do with separating one's female self from the male self, as well. That is, just as a trans woman may overcompensate to affect a more masculine facade while living in male-mode, she may overcompensate in her (idea of) femininity when in female-mode. That's may seem like bouncing from one caricature to the other, and, for me, was just not sustainable."
I too went through the separation phase of trying to please my former male self when it came to appearance. When I finally learned I should be dressing to blend and please other women, I finally was able to negotiate a feminine world much easier.
Thanks to you both for your comments.
Image from Eugenia Maximova on UnSplash. Learning on the fly all I needed to know concerning my authentic life as a transgender woman of...
