Monday, January 11, 2021


 This quote really brought back memories of my very early days when I was entering out into a terrifying yet exciting feminine world. 

It seemed everytime I tried something would go wrong. An example would be when my heel snagged a crack in floor at a mall I was walking in. I went from from proudly walking along to almost falling on my face.  Overtime, I fell on my face quite a bit but I learned.

Overtime, I learned practice did make perfect and I learned to live as a transgender woman full time. Probably what really happened was I finally arrived at a point where I was comfortable in my own skin and didn't need an imagined acceptance from the world to live an authentic life.

This quote comes close to saying it all:


  1. In the music world this is often quoted as "An amateur will practice until they can play it right, a professional practises until they can't play it wrong!"

  2. Yes, that is true. However, if you are practicing what is wrong, and hoping for it to suddenly come out right, your success will be less likely to come to fruition. Repetition is reinforcement - for right or wrong. We all have heard the quote, "insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result." It's not necessarily insanity, though, as it could be laziness or naivete that would keep one from even recognizing the wrong result.

    As a drummer and a singer, I normally have not had trouble doing both at the same time. I have had many people, including other musicians, ask me how I can do it. I can't answer that, any more than I can answer why I'm a transgender woman. All I can say is that it comes naturally to me - for the most part, that is. There is one song, the Paul Butterfield version of "One More Heartache," that has given me fits in the past, though. The syncopation of the drum beat against the bass line threw me off from the vocal entry almost every time. The more times I did it wrong, the fewer times I got it right. How I finally could consistently come in with the vocals at the correct spot was by concentrating on the guitar part, instead of being so locked in to what the drums and bass were doing. You see, I was so much into the syncopation that I wasn't allowing myself to step away and see the whole picture.

    I think, in our trans lives, we are so emotionally vested in our thought and vision of being a woman (or a man, for ftm), we can fail to see how we fit into the larger picture. We all have our comfort zones, but living within them won't always lead to a desired outcome. Walking around the house in stiletto heels does not totally prepare one for walking on uneven pavement, or even on ice (Where have I heard that before?:-) Still, I wouldn't recommend stepping outside if you're wobbly at the door.

    Of course, you can't get anything right unless you're willing to try it in the first place. As it's been said, the only real failure is to not have tried at all.