Blog Comment

I follow a non transgender based blog on Word Press called Lifes Fine Whine. Today she posted she wanted comments about childhood dreams and how they came out. I decided to provide a comment about mine. The comment was designed to explain some of the angst of being transgender without getting too in depth. Here it is:

All through my childhood, I wanted desperately to be just like the girl next door. Unfortunately I was a boy born into a male dominated family.
So, I played football when I wanted to be a cheerleader. Went to the prom in a tux instead of the beautiful dress my date wore.

After college, I was drafted into the military during the Vietnam War. I served my time but never lost the idea I was somehow living a lie. I cross-dressed every time I had the chance to relieve the pressure and explored the idea of living a feminine life.

Along the way, I went through two marriages to women who knew of my "secret." The second passed away quite unexpectedly leaving me free to make a decision in my life.

Finally, at the age of 60, I came out as transgender and started hormone replacement therapy to feminize my body as much as possible.
I began to live my life as a transgender woman. Found an incredibly accepting partner and settled into living my dream.

It took me awhile but now I feel blessed to have lived on both sides of the gender fence.
I have also benefited from my daughter and three grand kids who also are extremely accepting.
In many ways I feel I should come out sooner.
However the wait was worth it. 

From India...Transgender Success

These posts come from a site called Trending and feature several successful transgender stories. The first of which is "Nazz Joshi" trans model and winner of the Miss World Diversity 2019:


The second is Anjali Ameer, the first transsexual to play a lead role in an Indian Movie:


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For more, go here To the Indian Times..

Gift Package

Well. after a year's wait to get my Estradiol meds increased, my new patches came in approximately five days through the mail. There are several different methods of taking the meds.

You can take them by swallowing pills, taking shots or by applying stick on patches.  My endocrinologist prefers the patch method due to possible blood clot issues. I know from talking to other transgender women, the other methods are preferred too. For many different reasons. Plus, I have to take the good and the bad in the Veterans Administration medical system.  Obviously, the good is that it is free. The bad is that normally you are restricted in what the VA provides as far as hormone replacement therapy goes. An example is progesterone.

Progesterone as an additional hormone has never been mentioned to me. In the past, I have had some trans friends who took progesterone. One developed the annoying habit of lactating under her shirt while she was still dressing like a guy at work.

Believe me, I am not complaining. I understand my endocrinologist has always erred on the side of caution with me. I know, as well as she does, the threat of possible blood clots is always possible.

In fact, I had to go through several vascular and heart tests to even get approved for this increase.

I start the new patches on Tuesday and I am interested to see how it affects me. After all it's a 25%  increase.

We will see if it's enough to induce hot flashes again.

Boo!

All in all. last night's Halloween party at a local tavern was a success. I ate an authentic gyro (for once), was able to sit in a seat I was able to move around a bit and overall, had a good time.

Of course with my back, any seat becomes uncomfortable within a two hour time frame. I took my ibuprofen ahead of time last night to buy me a little extra time. I was also able to enjoy three milk stout craft beers from a local brewery. If you are not familiar, a milk stout brew, is a very dark beer with a creamy head (top) and high alcoholic content.

As far as costumes went, there were a few creative ones within the group, but not many in the tavern. It was too bad a cross dresser didn't slip in we didn't know so we could critique them.

I found two pictures this morning to share. The first is Liz and I:

The second is the person from the group whom I consider to be the best transitioned trans woman in the group. Her name is Emily and she came last night with her boyfriend.

We even stayed out late for us...11 pm! After all, The Ohio State Buckeyes play at noon today (Saturday).

If you all have a chance to enjoy Halloween this weekend, I hope you have fun!

Friday Night Puns

As the national holiday for cross dressers everywhere rapidly approaches (Halloween), I hope you have your costume ideas all together. I remember the extreme stress I went through. First and foremost, I wanted to try to come up with a costume idea similar to what a cis woman would wear. Then, I had to try to come up with a date I could be free so I could attend some sort of a party.

I worked in the restaurant business, so most of the time it meant working all weekends. Plus, getting all dolled up cross dressed for work was out of the question. After all I had my macho image to protect, primarily because of the white redneck kitchen crews I had to manage. One of the prime reasons I don't have more Halloween stories to share.

Also, not all of the experiences were positive. I remember the times when the high heels I wore killed my feet. Or for some reason the few parties I wasn't accepted well at. The times I was touched inappropriately come to mind too. I guess I learned the hard way what cis women go through when they dress a certain way.

But all in all, the good times out numbered the bad. Including the experience I shared about the politician and his wife.  Here is where the "puns" come in. Compliments of Connie (of course):


"Maybe it was the politician's wife who was more interested? Or, a ménage à trois that could lead to a raucous in the caucus? Or, something profunda in the rotunda? A congressional confessional? :-)"   Probably all of the above!

Before Liz and I go out tonight to a Halloween party at a local venue we are close to, I thought I would share a picture of both of us. Taken last winter. Maybe I will have a picture taken tonight if I think about it.

Also thanks to Connie for the political puns!

Liz and Jessie selfie taken last winter in downtown Cincinnati, Ohio

Halloween Dreams

It amazes me after all these years I can still have so many vivid memories of my early Halloween experiences.

One of the earliest goes back to the 1980's when I lived near Yonkers, New York. I was working for a Wendy's franchisee then and one of my assistant managers invited me to a Halloween get together she was having. I saw it as the perfect opportunity to get out and live as a woman for a short period of time...if I could figure out how to do it.

Since my wife wasn't really into Halloween and knew why I was, it was fairly easy to convince her not to go. Plus, she was always against what she thought were my sleezy costumes. With her out of the way, I was free to costume myself anyway I pleased.

I picked out a short mini dress, heels and one of my fave wigs for the evening. If you remember, big hair was "in" in the 80's, so I fit right in. After freshly shaving my legs, applying my makeup, panty hose and getting dressed, it was time to go.

What I wasn't prepared for was how well I was going to fit right in.

It turned out, the Halloween "party" she invited me to was actually a group of her girl friends who all were going to one of their local taverns to party. I was in heaven when I saw all these women dressed almost like I was. Initially they were in shock when they saw me and looked me over head to toe until my friend told them who I was. Then I was accepted.

The tavern was within walking distance of her house, so here we were all in our heels clicking along as we walked to the party. Again, I blended right in and felt great.

Once we arrived at the tavern, we proceeded to order drinks and the other women got up to dance. Unfortunately I have exactly no rhythm and kept my seat. Inwardly though, I was savoring every moment and even got asked to dance. Again, I politely declined.

All too quickly the evening had to end and I had to head back to my routine existence. However, the word spread through out my store how I had dressed for Halloween. Nothing much happened as I just said I always wanted to do it. Resulting in a few "yeah right" smiles.

Little did I know how long the memories of the evening would linger. It showed me how it would be to interact with women on their own level. If only for one evening. 

Celebrity Fun?

Connie's comment about her attention from pro athlete (NBA) Shawn Kemp jogged my memory of a Halloween party when I got asked out by a future Washington D.C. politician and his wife. First, Connie's comment:

"I did join him at his table for a bit, only because there were already two other women there already. I was able to play defense long enough until the shot clock had expired, anyway. I wish I'd been able to get a pic, but this was so long ago that my flip phone didn't have a camera."

There has to be some sort of pun to use here about you or Shawn calling foul somewhere along the line. :)

Plus, the best I can offer was the the night I got all dolled up (cross dressed) for a Halloween party. For some reason I ended up leaving my wife at home and going with a news woman at a radio station I was working at. 

Along the way at the party, I was approached by a couple I vaguely knew as a local politician. The party turned out to be a fun eclectic blend of people in a restored Victorian mansion.  They initially expressed their surprise I wasn't what I appeared to be. Then proceeded to ask me along to another party they were heading too.

Seeing as how I was the news woman's ride, I had to say no. It turned out to be one of those moments my life could have changed if I had been able to say yes.

I often wonder how the politician who went to Washington fared later on when he tried to pick up a cross dresser with his wife.  I can't believe I was the first...or the last.

Of course with a politician, I would never have found out the truth!

As I wrote, I don't have a real celebrity story to share such as Connie's but I do have the experience of being mistaken for a woman during a time in my life when my gender dysphoria was at it's peak. I was constantly  wondering if living full time as a woman was even possible. 

It turns out it was.

Success

Finally my endocrinologist got in touch with me yesterday.  Approximately a week and half ago I did my blood labs to check my hormone levels.

My testosterone levels came back half of what the normal prescribed amount, so that is good if you are a transgender woman. Which of course I am. No real surprise because at my age, my testosterone would be decreasing anyway.

More importantly my estrogen amount was also low enough to be able to increase my dosage of estradiol (estrogen).

Since I passed all my blood clot, heart, lung and colon tests with flying colors, I was approved for an increase in my hormone patches from 1.5 milligrams to 2.0. Now all I am left with wondering how long it will take me to get my new patches.

What I hope will happen is a decrease in my overall body hair again and maybe an increase in my hips. The process started then stopped.

Of course due to my age and VA supervision, I have to be monitored again in about six months. By "monitored" I mean I have to have my blood tests done again to check my estrogen level. Sometimes I am fairly certain I set a record for the number of blood tests taken at the Dayton, Ohio VA.

I am not complaining though. I have been trying to get my Estradiol increased for the past year or so. With the increase, I still will only be at the level of several of the other trans women I know. I also know my endocrinologist is acting out of caution. Again due to my age.

Which I appreciate.

Transgender Fun?

With my colonoscopy behind me (no pun intended) it is now time to move on to more pleasant pursuits.  By the way, the colon check came up with no major problems and a scheduled return trip in five years. I so fortunate now my heart, lung and colon tests have returned no problems.

Now I can get back to day to day life. Wednesday night I have a Transgender Day of Remembrance committee meeting at a well known coffee shop. I'm in good shape for the meeting for a change because I was instrumental in lining up two speakers, who in turn lined up another speaker.  As I have mentioned before, the event is coming together well.

The weekend is turning out to be a busy one.  Friday night we are going against the political grain and will be joining the former moderator/social director of the transgender - cross dresser group I am still part of. I have decided to pick and choose the most interesting sounding events from both groups and see what happens. I feel like neither side controls me so I am free to do what I want to do. Plus, if the truth be known, if I ruffle a few feathers, so be it. We will be going to a dinner and Halloween party.

Saturday, the football gods are with us again.  The Ohio State Buckeyes play the very competitive Wisconsin Badgers at noon...which will give us time to go to a local Creole Restaurant I have been wanting to go to for quite a while.  It is actually going to be a belated birthday dinner for me.

The weekend will wrap up of course on Sunday. Since the football Bengals are no wins and seven losses, we have no real desire to watch them anymore unless improvements are made. So, we have plenty ot time to run our errands.

So life is good.