Transgender Ageing and the Cult of Impatience

I get tired of boring titles to my Cyrsti's Condo posts, as you can tell. Possibly, a better title for this post would have been-"Are we there yet?"

Since we have waited so long to gender transition, at times being patient about the changes of HRT is to say the least difficult. Not to mention bringing years of life to a screeching halt and learning another.

In fact, I am ranking this as my number three "surprise". I started all of this believeing I could basically relax and enjoy the process. The truth quickly became evident the process I was going through was so natural, I knew I was finally home.

Of course it was approximately around that same time when the trans trolls came out of the closet to accuse me of being a trans pretender at the worst to another old guy on hormones (funny) to nothing more than a glorified cross dresser. Fortunately, all of that was my worst reaction. The overwhelming reaction of society was either who cares to wow.

What I don't completely understand is the push back "more mature" trans women receive. At our age, at the least, we face tougher uphill transition battles as far as passing privilege and we have tons more of life baggage. So once we get here, hell yes,it's easy to be impatient. Look at it this way trollers, it was us who were pretending all those years  but in guy drag.

As far as a cult goes, that's a bit dramatic I know, but being a baby boomer, anything can happen with our generation.  Worst case scenario? Waking up and finding out Zoey Tur is speaking for the transgender community.

Male Privilege and "Pretenders"

Helen Boyd clarified her post on Zoey Tur and late in life transitioners:

"To clarify: the term is used usually for trans women who live significant lives assigned male before transitioning to female. There are many trans men who transition later in life after significant lives assigned women.

They are not, by any means, the only kind of self appointed trans spokespeople who screw up. There are sometimes recently transitioned trans men who say sexist shit, or there are young, firebrand activists who don’t seem to know their history and think that anyone who transitioned over the age of 40 is a drag queen, or that trans women who came up through drag shouldn’t be considered women."

As she always does Helen does a great job and you can see the rest of the post here.  Obviously at 65, this topic is near and dear to me! Yes I have my "transness" questioned and yes I have been called a pretender.

Senior Citizen "Happy Hours?"

I shudder on occasion (even on warm days) when I just don't see much information on gender transitioning later in life. Today on Helen Boyd's EnGender blog, this post caught my eye first for "late transitioner" and then drinking!  It's called "Zoey Tur & The Late Transitioners Media Tour of Meaness Drinking Game." Then the post got even better when it featured Zoey Tur and in essence questioned what the hell rock she crawled out from under?  Read on:

"First, I want to remind everyone that this awesome trans community has survived the likes of Zoey Tur and it will, no doubt, do so again. But in the meantime, to keep the rest of us from going mad, we’ve got a new drinking game. (Non drinkers, feel free to substitute with chocolate.)

& Yes, there are rules:

Drink for:
“crossdresser”, “crossdressing”
incorrect pronouns when referring to other trans people
image of putting on make up

Double drink for:
“transvestite”
Thailand
being amazed that people interrupt her/other loss of privilege
satin

Chug for:
Rocky Horror allusion, even unintentional
insulting well-respected trans women of color
denying rights to younger trans people based on genital status

Suggestions are more than welcome to complete this one. Check out Monica Roberts’ take-down for ideas."

I SO AGREE with Helen, but poor Zoey, (left) she is still trying to make herself relevant in the world without being able to hang on the coat tails of Bruce Jenner!

What I want to know is-what exactly is in the cup???

Just Drag

The other day on one of the daytime talk shows I actually heard a drag queen explain in coherent non gender slurring terms why he started doing drag.  Of course he went as far as to say it and made a clear case of being gay and his partner not liking the "procedures" he was going through to look more feminine for his drag act. In no way did he feel like or want to be a woman.

In celebration of him not using the "Tr__ny" word, here is Roxxxy Andrews (not the queen on the show)-looking good!

OMG Honey is that Bruce Jenner Next Door?

Over the years here in Cyrsti's Condo we have discussed our efforts to "hide" or "sneak" around the neighbors as we were testing the waters as cross dressers and later as androgynous transgender women and men.  These days, I am again wondering "what the neighbors think" in two locations.  Liz's house which will become my permanent spot is much more mellow for a number of reasons. The main one is the lack of traffic. My sister-in-law's is much more interesting. At both places of course, if I am working outside these days, I'm wearing a "hoody" and jeans with my hair pulled back. So, I do think (as I have written) HRT has made me very androgynous.  So androgynous in fact, I run into many people from my past who don't come close to recognizing me. Most certainly that's OK.

Let me point out, at this stage, I am not at her house much and during the 6 months or so I have been, a few of the neighbors have sort of sought me out-for what ever reason.  One was when her son landed his drone at Christmas in our back yard, the other was by pure accident. Sister-in-law  lives across the street in an older neighborhood with on street parking and the other woman was nice enough.  On occasion though, I do entertainment myself wondering if the gossip is flying fast and furious between her house and the two next door.  In the one to her left lives a highly religious family whose father worked with me years ago.  To her right-a woman who I question much of her sanity.

I don't really care but it's just another occasion when I would like to be a butterfly on the fence when they talk about is that  "Bruce Jenner" person living across the street.

WTH-Really?

This positively fired me up this morning when I saw it:
Obviously the ignorant person or site which posted it has no idea about what we go through as transgender women and men. I need to "whisper" how ignorant I think they are.  I (of course) have a comment out to them-I will let you know if I hear back.

A Future Option?

Maybe this picture from Pinterest which proclaims to be a modern man and woman obviously cross dressing does predict the future.  Probably not the act itself as much as an increased acceptance in the public's eyes?

I also wonder about the stereotype we have talked about (here in Cyrsti's Condo) that it takes a woman longer to get ready than a man. It's true and often we don't even point out many of the on going things a woman must do to present her best self!

Must Be Doing Something Right

This morning I was moving some boxes from one place to another in my car. I was dressed in jeans, tennis shoes and had my hair pulled back-that's it.  As I had my back turned to the street, a car slowed down and a generic asked "Mam, do you know where Murray Street is?" I just smiled and said "two blocks ahead."

Maybe I am getting ahead also.

Cyrsti's Condo "Sunday Edition"

Kerplunk! A sunny spring edition of our Sunday Edition has hit your virtual front porch. Let's get our "cup o joe" and get started.
Page One.- The Week that was-or Wasn't:  Here in the Condo, I tried to put together a couple of the main surprises I am realizing currently during my Mtf gender transition. Cutting to the chase for this edition , my biggest surprise is I am so alive, at this age and doing this at all. I never have been really shy about not being quiet when I am right and I was so completely right about all of this. Also this week, I received a call from a dear friend who reminded me none of us have anything without our health. She is entering a very serious but treatable health condition.  Bobbie, may you live longer and prosper more than in all your dreams!
Page Two.- The Jazz Goes ON:  It was announced the 14 year old transgender teen Jazz Jennings will be one of the new faces of Clean & Clear's "See The Real Me" ad campaign, which features a social media push that asks people to use the #See the Real Me hashtag to pass along their stories. Jazz had a big week as in addition to the launch of her Clean & Clear campaign, it was also revealed that she will star in an 11 part TLC series.  Follow this link for the entire story from the Huffington Post. 
As wonderful as it has been to watch a young transgender girl grow into a teen in front of our eyes, can't wait for the day to come when talent over trans equals success!
Page Three.- Some of My Best Friends are Trans?  Just when you read and feel so good about the success of a transgender person such as Jazz Jennings, then come all the stories of bigotry and hate. Of course, on occasion I write about them too. As I transition these days, with my ever expanding presence in the world, I do wonder about a person here and there who may be nice to me to my face. (Even to the point of patronizing me.) Then wonder if those are the very generics who would protest my use of the women's restroom that same night?  Don't know and it could be years of paranoia working on me. At this point in time though, it still seems to me that unless you possess the right amount of "passing privilege" or born into the right family as a trans youth, a long road is still ahead. 
Page Four.- St Patty In Boston.- Finally, we go back to Boston for this story (again) from the Huffington Post:    Boston Pride, an LGBT rights group, said this week organizers had accepted its application to participate in this year's march through the Irish bastion of South Boston.

The rights group will join OutVets, representing gay veterans (and trans vets), in bringing an end to two decades of debate over the issue. Organizers had insisted that homosexuality conflicted with Catholic doctrine, but the ban ran counter to the liberal mores that prevail in Massachusetts, the first state in the nation to legalize same-sex marriage.  Another one bites the dust! And, speaking of "dust", it's time to go outside where we have discovered dirt, dust and other less desirableness as all our snow is gone!  You all have a great week!!!