Cyrsti's Condo "Quote of the Day"

Was She or Wasn't He?

I haven't told all of you about my experience from the other night.

It follows the same path as the other "Trans Dar" posts, some of you have commented about, except this time I am not talking about a cross dresser or a transgender woman; I'm talking about a transgender man.  

So,  thanks to having been able to watch the FtM transition my friend is going through, my "trans dar" was going through the ceiling.  This guy's face was angular and "stubbly" and his voice was going through the change.  In other words, he was moving out of the "butch" category totally...I think.

Interestingly, I have never been with a genetic woman whose trans-dar zeroed in on a trans guy.  I use Pat's wife as an example around here (again)  It would have been interesting to have viewed her reaction the other night. I'm saying there would not have been one from her.She would assumed "lesbian" and moved on which is as unfair as assuming every cross dresser is gay. (Pat's wife wouldn't because she has more knowledge-I know.) Or perhaps,  if there was a reaction, she would have thought, Wow! that's a masculine woman!"

In a way, I feel sorry for Pat's wife because I use her thoughts or possible actions like I know her-which I don't.  We have never met and according to Pat, knows nothing about Cyrsti's Condo.  (Come on Pat, who knows everything about the woman they are with?)

Finally, no, he didn't speak to me and really didn't even glance my way hardly at all.  But, being the gossip queen I am , I did see one of the bartenders I know talk to him and heard him ask for her by name earlier. Chances are  I can find out the story!

Cyrsti's Condo "Mail Bag"

One of the new bags given to me recently!

Plenty of comments to get to today in "the Condo" which is great!!!

Let's go "across the pond" first, to Paula in the UK...She commented on our "End of Cross Dressing" post:

Basically the post commented on the blurred lines between "hetero sexual" cross dressers and "straight men".

 I now identify primarily as a hetro trans woman, but working out what that means is complicated. Testosterone still flows and the bloke will still "look" at the the girls, but the woman checks out the guys, of course we get confused. I say I am hetro because I have no wish to make love with woman as a woman, or a man as a man. Sometimes I question myself as to whether it is my sexuality that drives my trans,or the other way round, other times I just have a glass of wine.


Thanks Paula!  A great answer to a complex personal issue!  Seemingly we face too many "chicken or the egg" discussions as cross dressers, transgender women and men on our journey of self discovery!

Paula also commented in the same vein on the "Trans Dar versus Trans Nazi" post:

It slowly dawned on me that to most Gay people I am asexual, the girls know I am a bloke so are simply not interested, and the blokes now that I am a girl and so they aren't interested either, interestingly this makes an excellent basis for really good friendships.

Surely Paula, we do make interesting friends because of how we see the world and the shift of sexual tension in the human critter.  My "take" on it is- the more feminized I become, gay guys have less interest in me than they never had anyway.  AS, they are so fond of saying anyway, "If they wanted a woman, they would have had one by now."  The women know I'm not genetic but I live in their world and they are for the most part intrigued.  The more the HRT changes me though, the less that is true to the casual observer. 

As far as lesbians go, I found that after I got used to how "gruff" many were, I thrived with some, strongly identify with and thoroughly enjoy their unique culture.

The "blokes" of course are the challenge.  To many, I'm simply invisible, to others I carry some sort of plaque they may catch and die.  The very few who take the time to know me do respond to my take on the world. It's no secret, I do like an intelligent, traveled, mildly opinionated man and I respond intellectually  to them. Sadly as I am arriving at a point, that at the least I can interact with a man as a trans woman, I have not yet been able to do much.  But I understand why.

It's a crazy world we live in, but not necessarily a bad one unless we make it that way! One of the biggest mistakes I made was "back in the day" when I began to come out was hiding in my shell-once I hit the world.

Cyrsti's Condo "What If?"

Everyone likes to have a little fun.  Perhaps you have noticed I have stayed away somewhat from my own cynical cross dresser captions here in "the Condo". Partially it is because after nearly three years doing this "someone" emailed me and told me to take a picture of a person down off the blog.  Which I would have, if they had told me which picture it was. Nearly 99% of all the pictures I use off of Pinterest - who aren't  Mtf transgender or androgynous models, don't have a name there at all.  So if you have a picture that I have used and you can show me it is you, I will gladly take it down...

In the meantime:

My first pic is called "Well honey, there was another woman. I just never told you it was your hubby!"

The second:
                                                    "Ruh Roh"! My wife wasn't kidding! She did bring home a blind date for me!!

Cyrsti's Condo "Quote of the Day"

Some women can wear anything...some just do it better!

Cyrsti Hart

Cyrsti's Condo "Quote of the Day"

The End of Cross Dressing?

Many of the "sister's" I have known in the past, who proudly and loudly proclaimed themselves "hetero sexual cross dressers" struggled to keep more than just their dresses hidden deep in their closets.  Sexuality was taking up space too.

Should the men who pursue a cross dresser or a transgender woman share all the blame when they scream, "Hey! I'm straight?"  No, I know one person who used to feel any attention from a man validated her as a woman-me.  I was one too, who tossed myself in the "high and mighty" hetero CD category too, when all along this little voice was saying, "well what if?"

What if I had decided to stay behind all the "A-list" cross dressing bitches I was hanging out with in Cleveland all those years ago with the guy who asked me to?  After all, he was good looking, well spoken and sort of shy? All of that occurred back in the pre social media/internet days, when I think we were all more naive. Or, more recently when I began to transition in earnest, I had the same interest in me from men than I did from women?  Don't know and more importantly, I don't make many value judgments about it.  Isn't there some sort of line about not beating dead horses?  Then again, it's never that simple-  as  Pat commented: (these days)

I suspect that because there are so many different varieties of T folks that non T people have a hard time figuring us out. For most people there is little to no separation between sexuality and gender. If you are a woman attracted to me or a man attracted to women the question of sexuality and gender not being the same thing may never arise. For us in the T community we face the dichotomy between gender and sexuality on a regular basis. At times, especially for the younger T folks it can get confusing..

My only disagreement is I think more and more young transgender women and men are not confused so much and that thought extends into younger cross dressers too who describe themselves as "gender non conforming."  I can only dream of how it would have been to have that sort of freedom of gender expression when I grew up!!!

The Celtic Princess?

Turns out, I have another set of "Pride" events to attend coming up this fall. Perhaps you regulars around here in Cyrsti's Condo remember my partner is a practicing Wiccan.  When I first met her and she told me, I thought oh sh-t!, if I'm bad she will turn me into a toad. I was wrong and this is what I learned - or am learning:  (From the link above)

"Contrary to what those who choose to persecute or lie about us wish to believe, Wicca is a very peaceful, harmonious and balanced way of life which promotes oneness with the divine and all which exists.

Wicca is a deep appreciation and awe in watching the sunrise or sunset, the forest in the light of a glowing moon, a meadow enchanted by the first light of day.   It is the morning dew on the petals of a beautiful flower, the gentle caress of a warm summer breeze upon your skin, or the warmth of the summer sun on your face.   Wicca is the fall of colorful autumn leaves, and the softness of winter snow.   It is light, and shadow and all that lies in between."

To cut to the chase here, I have always wanted to have a higher appreciation of the natural world around me and as I have written in recent blog posts- I believe HRT has helped me to reach deeper, sensory levels.

Now on to the Pride gatherings, called Pagan.  I don't use the word much because in many minds it conjures up dark spirits and a guy with red horns, when simply, many "pagan" religions were simply pre-Christian.  On a totally different plane from the spiritual, I'm a people watcher.  Plus I'm a keen observer of how people observe me of course.

I jokingly tell my partner Liz, I want to be the "Celtic Princess" when we go, and will put off my planned fall hair color change for a bit.  Although my auburn hair color isn't real, a Celtic tie in with my ancestry is.  Although I'm a typical "mutt" American, I do know without a shadow of a doubt my Mom's family was German and my Dad's, British.  If it matters, even though my hair into my 40's was almost black, my Mom's family was dominated by red heads.

None of that should spoil my fun though.  I am believing the "true" spiritual believers at these events will embrace my transgender (twin spirit) background as "most" have at the "meet ups" I have gone to. I had one woman give me her best "get the hell out of here glare" until she figured out I wasn't leaving but I'm spoiled and loved the embrace I got from the others. I know I do scare some "faux pagans" (the same as faux Christians)  because of my gender fluid experience in the world. But, selfishly, I want to learn all I can for me, so I can't worry about others.

Plus Liz, is quite the seamstress too, so I'm leaving how the "Celtic Princess" will look to her!!!

Thor's Sex Change!

Needless to say the headline "Thor is now a Woman" caught my attention last night when it flashed across my phone. We can only hope this morning, transphobic action comic readers are shaking their heads in disgust!  Is nothing sacred?


From Fox News:  

"Forget David Cameron's much-heralded move to bring more women into the cabinet. Marvel Comics trumped No 10 on the same day by announcing that one of their most established male characters is changing sex.

Thor, who debuted in the Journey Into Mystery title in 1962, has also been the star of two movies in the latest Marvel big-screen series; plus he played a pivotal role in the Avengers cinematic adaptation.

It's hard to imagine a more masculine character than Thor, who is based on the god of thunder of Norse myth: he's the strapping, hammer-wielding son of Odin who, more often than not, sports a beard and likes nothing better than smacking frost giants.

However, Marvel says that a new series written by Jason Aaron with art by Russell Dauterman will re-cast Thor as a female character. The comic, launching in October, is billed by Marvel as "one of the most shocking and exciting changes ever to shake one of the 'big three' of Captain America, Iron Man and Thor"."

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